"Anderson, Poul - Goat Song" - читать интересную книгу автора (Anderson Poul)

УWhy not?Ф
УObviously youТre going to appoint yourself My enemy forever. This is an unprecedented situation, a valuable chance to collect data.Ф
УYou tell me this, You warn me, deliberately?Ф
УOf course. My computation is that these words will have the effect of provoking your utmost effort.Ф
УYou wonТt give her again? You donТt want my love?Ф
УNot under the circumstances. Too uncontrollable. But your hatred should, as I say, be a useful experimental tool.Ф
УIТll destroy You,Ф I say.
It does not deign to speak further. Its machine picks me up and flies off with me. I amn heft on the fringes of a small town farther south. Then I go insane.
I do not mnuch know what happens during that winter, nor care. The blizzards are too loud in my head. I walk the ways of Earth, among lordly towers, under neatly groomed trees, into careful gardens, over bland, bland campuses. I am unwashed, uncombed, unbarbered; my tatters flap about me and my bones are near thrusting through the skin; folk do not like to meet these eyes sunken so far into this skull, and perhaps for that reason they give inc to eat. I sing to them.


УFrom the hag and hungry goblin
That into rags would rend ye
And the spirit that stanТ by the naked man
In the Book of Moons defend ye!
That of your five sound senses
You never be forsaken
Nor travel from yourselves with Tom
Abroad to beg your bacon.Ф
Such things perturb them, do not belong in their chrome-edged universe. So I am often driven away with curses, and sometimes I must flee those who would arrest me and scrub my brain smooth. An alley is a good hiding place, if I can find one in the oldest part of a city; I crouch there and yowl with the cats. A forest is also good. My pursuers dislike to enter any place where any wildness lingers.
But some feel otherwise. They have visited parklands, preserves, actual wildcountry. Their purpose was overconsciousЧ.measured, planned savagery, and a clock to tell them when they must go homeЧbut at least they are not afraid of silences and unlighted nights. As spring returns, certain among them begin to follow me. They are merely curious, at first. But slowly, month by month, especially among the younger ones, my madness begins to call to something in them.

УWith an host of furious fancies
Whereof I am commander
With a burning spear, and a horse of air,
To the wilderness I wander.
By a knight of ghosts and shadows
I summoned am to tourney
Ten leagues beyond the wild worldТs edge.
Me thinks it is no journey.Ф

They sit at my feet and listen to me sing. They dance, crazily, to my harp. The girls bend close, tell inc how I fascinate them, invite me to copulate. This I refuse, and when I tell them why they are puzzled, a little frightened maybe, but often they strive to understand.
For my rationality is renewed with the hawthorn blossoms. I bathe, have my hair and beard shorn, find clean raiment, and take care to eat what my body needs. Less and less do I rave before anyone who will listen; more and more do I seek solitude, quietness, under the vast wheel of the stars, and think.
What is man? Why is man? We have buried such questions; we have sworn they are deadЧthat they never really existed, being devoid of empirical meaningЧand we have dreaded that they might raise the stones we heaped on them, rise and walk the world again of nights. Alone, I summon them to me. They cannot hurt their fellow dead, among whom I now number myself.
I sing to her who is gone. The young people hear and wonder. Sometimes they weep.

УFear no more the heat oТ the sun,
Nor the furious winterТs rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and taТen thy wages:
Golden lads and girls all must
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.Ф

УBut this is not so!Ф they protest. УWe will die and sleep a while, and then we will live forever in SUM.Ф
I answer as gently as may be: УNo. Remember I went there. So I know you are wrong. And even if you were right, it would not be right that you should be right.Ф
УWhat?Ф
УDonТt you see, it is not right that a thing should be the lord of man. It is riot right that we should huddle through our whole lives in fear of finally losing them. You are not parts in a machine, and you have better ends than helping the machine run smoothly.Ф
I dismiss them and stride off, solitary again, into a canyon where a river clangs, or onto some gaunt mountain peak. No revelation is given me. I climb and creep toward the truth.
Which is that SUM must be destroyed, not in revenge, not in hate, not in fear, simply because the human spirit cannot exist in the same reality as It.
But what, then, is our proper reality? And how shall we attain it?