"Anderson, Poul - Stars Are Also Fire, The" - читать интересную книгу автора (Anderson Poul)
Steadier by the minute, she asked him: "Then what should I do?"
"piat's what we brought you here to decide," he reminded her.
"Dad and NfotherЧ"
"They're adrift with a broken rudder, poor souls. Yes, they'll stand by you whatever you choose, what-
THE STARS ARE ALSO FIRE 23
ever the sniggering neighbors say and the dipnose government does, but what's the least bad course? They've also got your brother to think about. School alone could become an endurance contest, in the clammy piety that's settled on this country."
Momentarily, irrelevantly surprised, she wondered, "Piety? The Renewal doesn't care about God."
"I should'ye said pietism," he growled. "Puritanism. Masochists dictating that the rest of us be likewise. Oh, sure, nowadays the words are 'environment' and 'social justice,' but it's the same dreary dreck, what Churchill once called equality of misery. And Bismarck, earlier, said that God looks after fools, drunks, and the United States of America; but when the North American Union elected the Renewal ticket, I suspect God's patience came to an end."
Shared need brought unspoken agreement that they walk on. The sand squelped faintly beneath their shoes; incoming tide began to erase the tracks. "Never mind," Guthrie said. "My mouth's too apt to ramble. Let's stay somewhere in the vicinity of the point. You're pregnant. That's shocking enough, in the national climate today, but you're also reluctant to dp the environmentally responsible thing and have it terminated."
"A life," she whispered. "It didn't ask for this. And it, it trusts me. Is that crazy?"
"No. 'Terminate' means they poison that life out of you. If you wait till later, it means they crush the skull and slice off any inconvenient limbs and haul it out of you. Yeah, there are times when that may seem necessary, and there are too many people. But when across half the planet they're dying by the millions of famine and sickness and government actions, I should think we can afford a few new little lives."
"But IЧ" She lifted her hands and gazed at the empty palms. "What can I do?" The fingers closed. "Whatever you say, Uncans."
"You're a proud one, you are," he observed. "I've a hunch this whole business, including your hope you
24
POUL ANDERSON
can save the baby, is partly your claim to a fresh breath in all the stifling smarminess around you. Well, we've been over and over the ground, these past several days. Juliana and I, we never wanted to lay pressure on you, one way or another. We only want to help. But first we had to help you grope forward till you knew what your own mind was, didn't we?"
"I could always talk to you . . . better than to anybody else."
"M-m, maybe because we haven't been around so much."
"No, it was you, Uncans." With haste: "And Auntie. All right. What should I do?"
"Have the baby. That's pretty well decided. Juliana believes if you don't, you'll always be haunted. Not that your life would be ruined, but you'd never feel completely happy. Besides the killing itself, you'd know you'd crawfished, which plain isn't in your nature. Trust Juliana's insight. If I hadn't had it to guide me dealing with people, I'd be flat broke and beachcombing."
"You understand me too. You made me see."
"Naw. I simply remarked that considering how morons and collectivists breed, DNA like yours and Bill's oughtn't be flushed down the toilet." His tone, deliberately coarse, gentled. "That was no basis for decision. You were what counted, Dagny, and Juliana was who eased the confusion out of you. Okay, now it's my turn. We've settled the what and why, we need to settle the how."
Her stride faltered. She recovered, gulped, looked into the distances before her, and asked quietly, "You don't think I should keep the baby, do you?"
"No. You aren't ready to be tied down. My guess is you never will be, unless it's in the right place, a place where you can really use your gifts. It'll hurt, giving up the young'un as soon as you've borne it, but that will heal. You see, naturally we'll get the best foster parents we can; and I've got the money to mount a proper
search for them. Not in this country, under this wretched regime, but abroad, Europe maybe. Don't worry, I'll find my way around any laws there are. You'll know you did the right thing, and can put the whole matter behind you."
Once more, briefly, she caught his hand. '-'I won't everЧnot quiteЧbut.. . thank you."
"Meanwhile and afterward, what about you?" he went on in methodical fashion. "Let's do what I should've seen to before and get you out of here, permanently."
She stiffened. Her voice came thin. "No. I told you when you first suggested it. Dad needs me."
"And is too proud to let me hire him the kind of labor you've provided for free. I know. That's how come I never pushed the idea of putting you in a school where they teach facts and how to think for yourself instead of the Renewal party line. But the chips are down, honey. If you stay home and have the child, I doubt the community will be habitable for your family. And the story will forever be in your file, available at a keystroke to any busybody. If you drop out of sight, though, more or less immediately, the petty scandal won't grow, it'll die out in people's minds. You'll just be a black sheep that left the flock, soon forgotten. As for your father's business, why, your brother's pushing fourteen. Quite able to take over from you, and eager, if I judge aright."
"I... I suppose soЧ"
They were mute for half a kilometer, alone between the sea and the driftwood.
Then she blurted, "Where? What?"
He chuckled. "Isn't it obvious?"
She turned her head to stare at him. Hope went in tides, to and fro with her blood.
Guthrie shrugged. "Well, I wouldn't come right out and say it till we had a notion of where you'd take your stand. But you know Fireball's more and more arranging for the education of its people's children, and
26
POUL ANDERSON
we're starting up an academy for professional training. Me, I know you've always been space-struck. For openers, how'd you like to come to Quito with us, and we'll see what develops?"
She stopped. "Ecuador," she gaspedЧto her, Cam-elot, Cibola, Xanadu, the fabled country that Fireball had made its seat because there the government was still friendly to enterprise, the gateway to the universe.
She cast herself into his arms and wept against his shoulder. He stroked the ruddy hair and shuddering back and made bearlike noises.
Finally they could sit down in the lee of a log, side by side. The wind whistled past, driving a wrack of clouds beneath the overcast, but the waters lulled, hush-hush-hush. The chill made them shiver a bit, now that they were at rest. She spoke in weary calm:
"Why are yotf so good to us, Uncans? Sure, you like Dad and Mother, same as you do Mother's parents, but you've told us about friends all over the'world. What've we done to deserve this much kindness?"
"I expected I'd have to tell you," he said slowly. "It's got to stay a secret. Promise me you'll never tell anybody without my leave, not your folks,, not Bill when you say goodbye to himЧwhich ain't going to be easy, even if the affair is overЧnot anybody, ever."
"I promise, honest to Dr. Dolittle," she replied, as grave as the child who had learned it from him.
He nodded. "I trust you. The ones who make their own way through life, paying their freight as they go, they're who you can rely on.
"All right. I know your mother's mentioned to you that she wasn't born to the Stambaughs, she was adopted. What she's never known is that I am her father." Х
Dagny's eyes widened, her lips parted, she kept silence.
"So I can be simpatico with you in your bind," Guthrie continued. "Of course, things were quite different for me. This was way back when Carla and I
| © 2025 Библиотека RealLib.org (support [a t] reallib.org) |