"(ebook) Anthony Piers - Xanth 23 - Xone Of Contention" - читать интересную книгу автора (Anthony Piers)
Edsel clicked on Macrohard Doors Excess. "Good," Grundy said. "Now before we get into this. Edsel, I must tell you that >ou don't need to have me as your guide." His voice come through the system speakers; this was a multimedia program. "You can choose any of these others by Selecting or clicking on them." Several pictures appeared. One of them was Pia; it had amused them all to have her be the model for their own program. She looked great, because a program figure didn't put on weight the way a living one did.
Edsel clicked Pia. Her picture came to life. She was wearing a dark blue jacket and skirt, and had small golden earrings representing Pluto, the P planet. "Very well, Edsel" she said dulcetly. "Now how can I help you with Excess? Do you know anything about spreadsheets or databases?" She smiled. She had a nice smile. In fact she had a nice everything, in appearance. He clicked "No,"
"Well, they are both ways of storing and using information," she said. "Would you like me to walk you through the basics?"
XONt OF CONTFNTION 1 3
This time he clicked No, though she had a lovely walk. She faced him, putting on a cute smile of perplexity. "Whut would you like. Edsel? Just type it in, and I'll do my best."
He typed "Disrobe."
"If you wish." She opened her jacket and drew it off, revealing a tight, well-filled sweater She put her hands on its base and began to draw it up. showing a sheer blouse beneath. Then she paused, catching on. "HeyЧit's supposed to be the program I'm helping you with, Edsel, not your sex life."
He smiled. He had always liked that part. That was as close as the Companion Pia ever came to quarreling, and farther on in the program she would remove the sweater if asked, and later the sheer blouse too. But it took precise management to get her to remove her bra or skirt, and that only after the user had demonstrated some competence in Excess. Her figure was worth the effort, though. To date they had had only three complaints about that feature, and dozens of notes of appreciation, and the program had sold well. One mother's letter had been choice: "Thank you so much for teaching my thirteen year old son to operate Excess. I don't know how you did it, but he learned it readily when he used your Companions guide, after getting nowhere elsewhere. He even runs through the guide for refreshers every so often, and his friends are learning too. They all say yours is the best." Obviously Mother herself had not caught on to the secret lure, and Junior wasn't telling. Modern teens were not stupid about software of the feminine kind, or about the attitudes of parents.
Edsel canned the program. It was the update for the Discuss word processor he was working on now, popularly known as Cuss. The latest revision of Cuss word was even more complicated and balky than usual, and really needed a good tutorial program. For example, it wouldn't let a file it made end in anything but .doc. as if it were a cartoon rabbit, on pain of horrendous file-trashing threats. Only by chance (as usual) had he discovered that he could get around that by putting his proposed file names in quotes. His tutorial clarified that and other dirty little secrets. If he could just make it work. He had to differentiate the two Enter keys, so that the Companions guide could have its own "Okay" key for special effects. But he still couldn't figure out how to free it from Macro-hard's malign grip. Dog in the manger: if Macro didn't want to use it, nobody could. That familiar bone of contention, again.
14 PifcKS ANTHONI
Maybe there would be inspiration on the GigaGnd, or the Mundane Mega Mesh that enclosed the world He clicked the Mode M site and was on his way
That's rightЧgo hide m the Grid the way you alwa>s do,' Pia said sourly behind him
"Oh, go buy another box ot chocolates the way you always do," he retorted He would rather make lo\e to her than fight her, anytime, but often there wasn't much choice
She disappeared, and he forged on into the Grid It was always this way she had a sharp tongue, and he inevitably responded Their marriage was on the rocks, and with it, maybe, their business It it weren't for Dug and Kirn, "Companions might have foundered already Kim was gregarious, so she was the saleswoman phoning clients, emaihng them, paying personal calls, bringing in the orders that were their life blood Dug handled the shipping and handling, often delivering the larger orders personally, for he was a handsome man who always made a good impression Pia handled the accounts, and Edsel of course, struggled with the programs He had let them down, this time, by trying for too much, and now he didn't have a finished program for them to deliver He was the weak link, and he hated that He was the lemon, this time
Now he was cruising the GigaGnd, meandering through the Mesh, looking for inspiration Maybe he could yet figure it out, so that he could complete the program, and they could deliver it late He whistled in the way he had, smiling, his tongue against the roof of his mouth it was easier than doing it purse-lipped, and fewer people knew how to do it, a double ad\antage as far as he was concerned He liked being different in inconsequential ways
He became aware that he had drifted into strange territory There was a sign THIS IS THE O-XONE ENTRY TO THE MAGIC MESH REQUIRES THE RIGHT SPELL PENALTY FOR ABUSE IS A BUNION
Edsel laughed This was a joke or a challenge He liked challenges almost as much as he liked jokes Pia had been a challenge So it seemed that someone had set up a Mesh Leaf \\ ilh a trick mode of entry and he would see if he could get m What would be the key7
He tried the usual run ot code words and signals but the> didn t work Then his left big toe began to hurt It felt like a bunion He put \oice into his whistle wondering whether this could be coincidence How could a Mesh Leal give a person a bunion' What kind of Xone ol contention was this1
XOM 01 CONTENTION
The sign changed SPELL ACCEPTED YOU ARE NOW IN THE O-XONE FOR ASSISTANCE IN NAVIGATING THE MAGIC MESH SEE BREANNA OF THE BLACK WAVE
Spell accepted9 What was it talking aboutJ OhЧit must be a joke the sign changing automatically after a moment, encouraging him to hit on this Leaf So okay, he could play this game, where was this Black Wave gal9
He walked down the hall, and noticed two things first, his bunion was gone, and second, what was he doing walking down a hall' This was an address on the Mundane Mega Mesh ot the GigaGnd, he was ga?mg at his computer screen and interfacing with mouse and keyboard Yet he wasn't, he was now walking down a hall There were booths along it, each with a picture of a person, and a name The colors were somehow brighter and clearer than those in his office, and the air seemed fresher
And here was the name Breanna under the face of a cute black girl who looked to be about sixteen She must be the one So he lifted his knuckle and knocked on the picture
It came to life "Ouch1 You hit me1"
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