Chapter One:
' 'Petty crime is the scourge of business today.''
ўD. LOREAN
I ACTUALLY LIKED our new office facilities better than
the old. Even though Aahz had argued hard to keep the
Even Odds as a bar (read "money-making venture"),
the rest of us ganged up on him and insisted that since
we had an extra building it would make more sense to
remodel it into offices than to keep trying to do business
out of our home. I mean, who really needs a lot of
strangers traipsing in and out of your private life all the
time? That practice had already landed us in trouble once,
and the memory of that escapade was what finally con-
vinced my old mentor to go along with the plan.
Of course, remodeling was more of a hassle than I
had expected, even after getting one of the local religious
temples to do the carpentry. Even working cheap they
were more expensive than I had imagined, and the hours
they kept . . . but I digress.
I had a large office now, with a desk, "in" basket,
Day-Timers Scheduler, visitor chairs, the whole nine
2 Robert Asprin
yards. As I said, I liked it a lot. What I didn't like was
the title that went with it ... to wit, President.
That's right. Everybody insisted that since incorporat-
ing our merry band of misfits was my idea, I was the
logical choice for titular head of the organization. Even
Aahz betrayed me, proclaiming it was a great idea, though
to my eye he was hiding a snicker when he said it. If I
had known my suggestion would lead to this, believe me
I would have kept my mouth shut.
Don't get me wrong, the crew is great! If I were going
to lead a group, I couldn't ask for a nicer, more loyal
bunch than the one currently at my disposal. Of course,
there might be those who would argue the point with
me. A trollop, a troll, two gangsters, a moll, and a Pervert
. . . excuse me, Pervect ... an overweight vamp, and
a baby dragon might not seem like the ideal team to the
average person. They didn't to me when I first met them.
Still, they've been unswerving in their support of me
over the years, and together we've piled up an impressive
