"Bill the Galactic Hero" - читать интересную книгу автора (Asprin Robert)

premises were used for both functions. A lever would be pulled when the first
of the leave party thundered out of the station and grain bins became beds,
salesclerks pimps, cashiers retained their same function-though the prices went
up-while counters would be racked with glasses to serve as bars. It was to one
of these establishments, a mortuary-cum-saloon, that Bill and his friends went.

"What'll it be, boys?" the ever smiling owner of the Final Resting Bar and
Grill asked.,

"Double shot of Embalming Fluid," Bowb Brown told him.

"No jokes," the landlord said, the smile vanishing for a second as he took
down a bottle on which the garish label Rte. WHISKEY had been pasted over the
etched-in EMBALMING FLUID "Any trouble I call the MPs." The smile returned as
money struck the counter. "Name your poison, gents."

They sat around a long, narrow table as thick as it was wide, with brass
handles on both sides, and let the blessed relief of ethyl alcohol trickle a
path down their dust-lined throats.

"I never drank before I came into the service," Bill said, draining four
fingers neat of Old Kidney Killer and held his glass out for more.

"You never had to," Ugly said, pouring.

"That's for sure," Bowb Brown said, smacking his lips with relish and raising
a bottle to his lips again.

"Gee," Eager Beager said, sipping hesitantly at the edge of his glass,
"it tastes like a tincture of sugar, wood chips, various esters, and a number
of higher alcohols."

"Drink up," Bowb said incoherently around the neck of the bottle. "All them
things is good for you."

"Now I want a woman," Ugly said, and there was a rush as they all jammed in
the door, trying to get out at the same time, until someone shouted, "Look!"
and they turned to see Eager still sitting at the table.

"Woman!" Ugly said enthusiastically, in the tone of voice you say Dinner!
when you are calling a dog. The knot of men stirred in the doorway and stamped
their feet. Eager didn't move.

"Gee-I think I'll stay right here," he said, his smile simpler than ever.
"But you guys run along."

"Don't you feel well, Eager?"

"Feel fine."