"DjunaBarnes-LadiesAlmanack" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barnes Djuna)

Florella.
August
When fifty odd and a day she came upon that Wind that is labelled the second.
Septembre
When sixty some, she came to no Good as well as another.
October
When Sixty was no longer a Lodger of hers, she bought a Pair of extra far-off,
and ultra near-to Opera Glasses, and carried them always in a Sac by her Side.
November
When eighty-eight she said, "It's a Hook Girl, not a Button, you should know
your Dress better".
December
When just before her last Breath she ordered a Pasty and let a Friend eat it,
renouncing the World and its
Pitfalls like Saints before her,
when she had no longer
Room for them.
Prosit!
MARCH
hath 31 days
AMONG such Dames of which we write, were two British Women. One was called Lady
Buck-and-Balk, and the other plain Tilly-Tweed-In-Blood. Lady Buck-and-Balk
sported a Monocle and believed in Spirits. Tilly-Tweed-In-Blood sported a
Stetson, and believed in Marriage. They came to the Temple of the Good Dame
Musset, and they sat to Tea, and this is what they said:
"Just because woman falls, in this Age, to Woman, does that mean that we are not
to recognize Morals? What has England done to legalize these Passions? Nothing!
Should she not be brought to Task, that never once through her gloomy Weather
have two dear Doves been seen approaching in their bridal Laces, to pace, in
stately Splendor up the Altar Aisle, there to be United in Similarity, under
mutual Vows of Loving, Honouring, and Obeying, while the One and the Other
fumble in that nice Temerity, for the equal gold Bands that shall make of one a
Wife, and the other a Bride?
"Most wretchedly never that I have heard of, nor one such Pair seen later in a
Bed of Matrimony, tied up in their best Ribands, all under a Canopy of Cambric,
Bosom to Bosom, Braid to Braid, Womb to Womb! But have, ever since the
instigation of that Alliance, lain abed out of Wedlock, sinning in a double and
similar Sin; rising unprovided for by Church or Certificate; Fornicating in an
Evil so exactly of a piece, that the Judgement Call must be answered in a
Trembling Tandem!"
"Therefore we think to bring the Point to the Notice of our Judges, and have it
set before the House of Lords. For when a Girl falls in Love, with no matter
what, should she not be protected in some way, from Hazard, ever attending that
which is illegal? And should One or the Other stray, ought there not to be a Law
as binding upon her as upon another, that Alimony might be Collected; and that
Straying be nipped in the Bud?"
"Tis a thought" said the Good Musset. " But then there are Duels to take the
place of the Law, and there's always a Way out, should one or both be found
wanting. A strong Gauntlet struck lightly athwart the Buttock would bring her to
the common Green, where with Rapier, or Fowling-Piece, she might demand and take