"HOMES" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barry Dave)

the birthday child's face when he or she rips open the present and remarks
with delight: "Hey! I already got this!"

Once you have selected several potential neighborhoods, you should drive
around to evaluate them, using this convenient ...

Neighborhood Checklist

Note What The Residents Do With Cars That No Longer Function Good
Neighborhood: They get rid of them. Bad Neighborhood: They keep them all
forever, arranged tastefully on their lawns, as if expecting the Car
Fairy to come one night and whisk all the cars away and leave everybody a
nice shiny quarter.
Note What Kind of Names The Local Streets Have Good: jasmine View Court
Terrace Bad: Interstate 95
Note What Kind Of Businesses Are Operating In The Neighborhood Good: Arthur A.
Wutherington IV, Investment Banker Bad: Earl's All-Night Nude Revue &
Motorcycle Repair
Note What the Neighborhood Youths Are Doing Good: Selling lemonade Bad:
Selling you your rear wheels back
Note What Kind Of Bumper Stickers The Neighborhood Cars Have Good: "SCHOOL'S
OPEN! DRIVE CAREFULLY!" Bad: "I LOVE MY PIT BULL"
Note The Types Of Neighborhood Social Activities Good: Barbecues Bad:
Cockfights

It also might be a good idea to do some formal research into neighborhood
property values by going down to the Municipal Building and getting shunted
from one civil servant to another in an increasingly desperate attempt to find
one who is not hostile, brain-damaged, or eating lunch, until finally you open
fire at random with a semiautomatic weapon. So we can see that this is not,
after all, such a good idea, and it probably should not even be included here.
Although frankly I doubt that any jury in the land would convict you.

CHOOSING A REAL ESTATE BROKER

It is possible to buy or sell a home without a broker, as will be
discussed in a later chapter (Unless we forget to write it). But most people
prefer to use a broker, because of the many advantages, such as:

1. If you have a real estate broker, you have an excuse to fend off the other
brokers, who will otherwise follow you around and hurl rocks through your
window with notes taped to them explaining the many advantages of using a
broker.
2. Brokers always have nicer cars than you do, a phenomenon that will become
more understandable when we get to the section on commissions.

This is by no means meant to be a comprehensive list of the advantages of
using a broker. The only reason I'm not listing all the others here is that
they don't spring immediately to mind.