"AmbroseBierce-TheParenticideClub" - читать интересную книгу автора (Bierce Ambrose)

however, that I would find him over on the other side of the creek in
the sheep lot; and she added that she hoped the best man would win.

"My Aunt Mary was one of the most fair-minded women that I have ever
met.

"I found my uncle down on his knees engaged in skinning a sheep.
Seeing that he had neither gun nor pistol handy I had not the heart to
shoot him, so I approached him, greeted him pleasantly and struck him
a powerful blow on the head with the butt of my rifle. I have a very
good delivery and Uncle William lay down on his side, then rolled over
on his back, spread out his fingers and shivered. Before he could
recover the use of his limbs I seized the knife that he had been using
and cut his hamstrings. You know, doubtless, that when you sever the
_tendo Achillis_ the patient has no further use of his leg; it is just
the same as if he had no leg. Well, I parted them both, and when he
revived he was at my service. As soon as he comprehended the
situation, he said:

"'Samuel, you have got the drop on me and can afford to be generous.
I have only one thing to ask of you, and that is that you carry me to
the house and finish me in the bosom of my family.'

"I told him I thought that a pretty reasonable request and I would do
so if he would let me put him into a wheat sack; he would be easier to
carry that way and if we were seen by the neighbors _en route_ it
would cause less remark. He agreed to that, and going to the barn I
got a sack. This, however, did not fit him; it was too short and much
wider than he; so I bent his legs, forced his knees up against his
breast and got him into it that way, tying the sack above his head.
He was a heavy man and I had all that I could do to get him on my
back, but I staggered along for some distance until I came to a swing
that some of the children had suspended to the branch of an oak. Here
I laid him down and sat upon him to rest, and the sight of the rope
gave me a happy inspiration. In twenty minutes my uncle, still in the
sack, swung free to the sport of the wind.

"I had taken down the rope, tied one end tightly about the mouth of
the bag, thrown the other across the limb and hauled him up about five
feet from the ground. Fastening the other end of the rope also about
the mouth of the sack, I had the satisfaction to see my uncle
converted into a large, fine pendulum. I must add that he was not
himself entirely aware of the nature of the change that he had
undergone in his relation to the exterior world, though in justice to
a good man's memory I ought to say that I do not think he would in any
case have wasted much of my time in vain remonstrance.

"Uncle William had a ram that was famous in all that region as a
fighter. It was in a state of chronic constitutional indignation.
Some deep disappointment in early life had soured its disposition and