"Braun, Lilian Jackson - The Cat Who 004 - The Cat Who Saw Red" - читать интересную книгу автора (Braun Lillian Jackson)

Qwilleran merely swallowed and stared at him.

УWell, how does it sound, Qwill?Ф

УI donТt know,Ф Qwilleran replied slowly. УYou know IТve been on the wagon for two years . . . and today I started a low-calorie diet. Doc Beane wants me to lose thirty pounds.Ф

The boss was nonplussed for only the fraction of a second. УNaturally thereТs no need to eat everything,Ф he said. УJust sample this and that, and use your imagination. You know the tricks of the trade. Our cooking editor canТt boil and egg, but she puts out the best recipe page in the country.Ф

УWell . . . .Ф

УI see no reason why you canТt handle it.Ф The managing editorТs brief show of goodwill was fading into his usual expression of preoccupation. УWe plan to start next Monday and give the column a send-off in SundayТs paper, with your photograph and a biography. Arch tells me youТve eaten all over Europe.Ф

Qwilleran turned to his friend. УDid you know about this, Arch?Ф

The feature editor nodded guiltily. He said, УBetter get that mustache trimmed and have a new picture taken. In your old photo you look as if you have bleeding ulcers.Ф

The boss rose and consulted his watch. УWell, thatТs the story. Congratulations, Qwill!Ф

On the way back to the feature department Riker said, УCanТt you defer that diet a few weeks? This bright idea of PercyТs will blow over like all the rest of them. WeТre only doing it because we found out the Morning Rampage is starting a gourmet column in two weeks. Meanwhile, you can live like a king, entertain a different date every night, and it wonТt cost you a cent. That should appeal to your thrifty nature. YouТre Scotch, arenТt you?Ф

УScottish,Ф Qwilleran grumbled. УScotch comes in bottles.Ф

He went first to the barber and then to the photo lab to have his picture taken and to complain to Odd Bunsen about the new assignment.

УIf you need company, IТm available,Ф the photographer volunteered, УIТll eat, and you can take notes.Ф He seated Qwilleran on a stool in a backbreaking position and tilted his head at an unnatural angle.

УRiker says you should make me look like a bon vivant,Ф Qwilleran said with a frown.

Bunsen squinted through the viewfinder of the portrait camera. УWith that upside-down mustache youТll never look like anything but a hound dog with a bellyache. LetТs have a little smile.Ф

Qwilleran twitched a muscle in one cheek.

УWhy donТt you start by eating at the Toledo Tombs? ThatТs the most expensive joint. Then you can do all the roadhouses.Ф Bunsen stopped to twist QwilleranТs shoulders to the left and his chin to the right. УAnd you ought to write a column on the Heavenly Hash Houses and tell people how rotten they are.Ф

УWhoТs running the gourmet column? You or me?Ф

УOkay, now. A little smile.Ф

The muscle twitched again.

УYou moved! WeТll have to try another . . . Say, wait till your crazy cats hear about the new assignment! Think about all the doggie bags you can take home to those brats.Ф

УI never thought of that,Ф Qwilleran murmured. His face brightened, and Bunsen snapped the picture.

The FluxionТs new gourmet reporter had every intention of starting his tour of duty at the exclusive Toledo Tombs, although not with Odd Bunsen. He telephoned Mary Duckworth, the most glamorous name in his address book.

УIТm so sorry,Ф she said. УIТm leaving for the Caribbean, and IТve already declined an invitation to attend a Gourmet Club dinner tonight. Would you like to go in my place? You could write a column on it.Ф

УWhereТs the dinner?Ф