"Brookmyre, Christopher - Boiling A Frog" - читать интересную книгу автора (Brookmyre Christopher)anguished deprivation; but his exemplary
employment of Junkie Logic. This was a phenomenon of which he had often heard both Sarah and Jenny talk, in terms of awe and wonder. (The awe was as in 'awe fuck, here he goes again'; the wonder as in 'I wonder if this arsehole really thinks anybody is so fucking stupid as to believe that?') Junkie logic was tortuously complicated, fashioning elaborately structured equations that required exhausting powers of imagination to construct, and complementarily vast faculties of comprehension to follow. Hawking, it was rumoured, had considered a book on the subject, but shat it when he decided he wasn't sure he could pull it off. However, if like him you found it all too intimidatingly complex, there was always a simple primer, which is that it all ultimately adds up to an exercise in demonstrating how everything that has ever gone wrong in the life of the said junkie was entirely the fault and responsibility of someone else. 'Thae Tamazepams, man,' said Fooaltiye, for instance, 'fuckin' doctors shouldnae be allowed tae gie them oot. Altiyeman, fuckin' mate o' mine losf a fuckin' leg 'cause o' thae fuckin' things, man. Fuckin' lost a leg. Fuckin' injectin' thae jellies, fuckin' clogged up his veins, man. An' fuckin' doctors are giein them oot? Fuckin' disgrace, altiye. Shoulda inject the fuckin' things withoot them gummin' up your fuckin' veins. What fuckin' good are they then, man? I mean, whit stupit cunt thought that up - puttin' the stuff in fuckin' jellies? Know fuckin' nothin' these doctor cunts, altiye.' Parlabane stifled an anguished moan. He remembered the old joke about a new arrival in hell. The bloke gets shown a door and told, 'You're in there,' by his accompanying imp. when he gets inside, he finds a bunch of men sitting up to their necks in shit, drinking cups of tea. 'This isn't so bad,' he tells himself. 'Get used to the smell and it might even seem quite civilised.' At which point another imp sticks his head round the door and says: 'Right lads, tea-break's over. Back on your heids.' The difference in Parlabane's case was that right then he'd prefer to be on his head. Just as long as the keech completely insulated his ears. Aw here, wait a minute. Wait. A. Wee. Minute. Here. Yessss!' He couldn't help looking over the side to investigate the creature's sudden discovery, his curiosity engaged by the sheer unlikelihood of anything in any way consumable lying unused and undiscovered in a tiny prison cell. The concept of a stray fag lying unclaimed under the table was |
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