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THE SHADOW DANCERS

8. Unravelling Threads

Brandy Two was as fascinated by me as I was by her. The idea that I’d taken over the agency, educated myself, and married a white guy she found both incredible and unbelievable, but Fast Eddie’s respect for the old me was more than enough testimony. The problem was, she’d gone wrong even earlier than me. Mama died even younger in her world, and Daddy stuck her—as he almost did me—with a couple of cousins who didn’t give a damn. She’d been into drugs early, maybe in grammar school, and she was even wilder as a teen than I had been. She’d been caught stealin’ when she was only fourteen, and when Daddy threw a fit she’d run away all the way to Washington—which existed in her world as in mine—and had run the streets. By sixteen she had a habit and was in the string of one of them pimps with the fancy coats and Superfly image. Daddy had tried to find her, of course, but considerin’ how hard it is to find runaway kids who want to be found, it’s pure luck if you find one that don’t.
She was a whore ’cause she’d been one all her adult life and didn’t know how to be, or imagine she could be, nothin’ else. It all went into the body, the looks, the moves. She had always been dependent for everything, and the mind was the one thing in her kinda life that it was better off not payin’ much attention to. She didn’t read and had no knowledge of or interest in the world. The fact that I’d come from the same start and I’d made somethin’ of myself gave her somethin’ of a feelin’ of worth by association, but it was too late for her to change, she thought, and what was the use anyway? We was both stuck in the same groove. In a real way, she was less my twin than my shadow; she looked like me, but there was nothin’ left down there.
The problem was, as time rolled on, I was becomin’ more and more like her. On the road, we was even further removed from Small and Siegel and all that lay behind ’em. We slept, ate, exercised, had as much sex as we could with anybody, worked out new routines for the act, and for fun went to stores and tried on all sorts of clothes to make us look even sexier, experimented with new cosmetics and perfumes, and spent a long time in mirrors gettin’ it right. The future was the next jolt of juice.
The only thing that tempted me durin’ that time was tryin’ to go thirty hours between juice jolts. They generally gave us a week’s supply at a time, since you couldn’t overdose on it and even with a week you wasn’t goin’ nowheres. I figured at the end of a week I’d have an extra, and then maybe I’d go over to Lindy Crockett’s place some afternoon, hold her down, and give her a taste of the stuff. I never did, though. It’s the curse of an addiction that you never give it away or delay gettin’ it when you got it and it’s due.
We went back down to Atlantic City at the beginnin’ of May to get ready for the high season at the club there, and for the first time I was back in the same town as Small and Siegel. By now it was clear that I was stuck and that I couldn’t do or learn much more than I did unless things was taken out of my hands and moved from a different source. My big worry was that Aldrath would get itchy after all them faked reports from me and nothin’ really happenin’ and decide to come snatch me. I didn’t want to be snatched or cured, no matter what the price. What I wanted was a way to be independent of the beck and call of the bastards who doled it out.
I mean, name me a girl over thirty, or a guy, either, who suddenly had the body of their dreams and found keepin’ it that way a pleasure? Who couldn’t get sick if they stood all day in the wind and rain. Who had been an old thirty-two and now looked a young twenty-five. Add to that an absence of hangups, of any guilt, second thoughts, regrets for anything you done from that point on, and a high, charged-up energy level that kept you always active, always feelin’ good, never feelin’ bored or down in the dumps, and just a little bit playfully high all the time. The only real problem was the man who doled out the juice. You had to dance to whatever tune he played or it all came crashin’ in, and you was never secure he just wouldn’t end it someday.

“Get all your things packed up,” Fast Eddie told us. “You’re goin’ for a little ride.”
I was shocked and surprised, but you don’t ask no questions in Fast Eddie’s string. Pack up for what? And where? Another club, another city? It was just gettin’ real nice and warm in Atlantic City and the crowds was startin’ to pick up, at least on the weekends. I put on my metallic blue dress that was real short and super-revealin’, as was almost all my stuff, with matchin’ shoes and made myself up to go. Then I packed the rest in this big steamer trunk, all I had in this world, closed it, and took it downstairs. It was awkward goin’, but even though the trunk musta weighed a hundred pounds or more packed, I had no trouble movin’ and partly carryin’ it. I was damned strong and proud of it.
I was relieved to see that my twin also had her marchin’ orders. I no longer was surprised that we’d independently picked the same clothes and even jewelry and makeup. On the basic conversation level we didn’t even have to talk much; each of us kinda knew what the other was thinkin’. Not mind readin’—just the same tastes and likes and thought patterns. I looked at her and she shrugged and I knew she didn’t have no more warning nor inklin’ of what was goin’ on than I did.
Fast Eddie rarely paid direct, individual attention to nobody, but he was there now. A huge black car pulled up just outside, and the driver got out, opened the trunk, then waited.
“Okay, girls, there’s your ride,” Small told us. “Sorry to lose you but the Boss wanted some fresh faces.”
The Boss—Siegel? I wasn’t too sure I liked this, but he was the man from whom all juice flowed, so there wasn’t no way out. We got our trunks barely in the “boot” of the big car, then got in the backseat. The driver and one of Small’s henchmen got in the front, and off we went, south and out of town. I figured we had to be headin’ for Siegel’s place on the ocean, and I was right.
It was real isolated, like I said, with a big gate and high fence around the whole forty acres that kept any spyin’ down. The fences was masked on the ground side by a twelve-foot-high hedge wall, then went right down into the beach and about to the low tide point, gettin’ a little lower as they went. Way out in the water was a squared-off stone breakwater that kept things mostly calm inside the house and discouraged spyin’ from the sea. At the end was a pier and slip at which was a big and fancy-lookin’ wooden yacht as well as a couple of smaller boats. The yacht was moored in line with the beach, so it kinda blocked a straight view in. You could spy on Arnie Siegel’s place from the sea, but you had to be pretty damned obvious about it. The grounds was green and landscaped, with lotsa trees and bushes and low hedges. A staff spent a lot of time in the spring and summer and fall keepin’ it that way.
The house itself was enormous; part brick, part wood, maybe three stories tall and a city block around and all covered with ivy. Back before all this, when I was checkin’ Siegel out, I learned that the house was the former official summer residence of the Governor General of America, the guy who represented the King in this country. This was supposed to be some place, and you could bet with bein’ able to tap into some of the Company’s technology it was near impossible for anybody in this world to get into or out of or learn much. There weren’t no soldiers or nothin’ like that, but I couldn’t shake the funniest feelin’ that I was goin’ back to Vogel’s castle.
“You goils ain’t here to gawk, you’re here to woik,” snapped Marty, the Fast Eddie man who’d come with us. He had a real New Yauk accent. He wasn’t, however, no man with the juice.
“Work at what?” I asked him. “Looks like he got ’nuff folks here to run this place.”
Marty gave this sneering smile, like he got when he was pickin’ wings off flies. “You’ll see.”
A young man in casual dress came out of the side entrance—we was goin’ in the servant’s entrance, of course—and he was one of the most gorgeous hunks you ever could see. One of them super musclemen, well over six feet, blond, blue-eyed. I never saw no man looked that good who wasn’t gay.
“You two follow me,” he ordered in this boomin’ voice that still had a trace of gentle lisp in it. I knew it, I thought.
We went in and down a narrow flight of stairs, then walked down this hall past storerooms and stuff to near the end, then entered one room that had no windows. It was almost surely built as another storeroom, but it had been made over. The walls was paneled, the floor was smooth polished wood so glossy you could see your reflection in it, and there was half a wall of free-standin’ closets and dressers and a vanity with mirror as well as a full-length mirror which proved to be a slidin’ door leadin’ to a tiled bathroom with toilet, sink, and a shower big enough for two, but no tub. The main room had two chairs, one at the vanity, the other in a corner, and a queen-sized bed. But the thing you noticed most was the ceilin’, which was low and completely covered with mirror squares. The light came from floor and table lamps, all of which seemed to have soft pink-colored bulbs in them. It was some kinda room, ’cept it woulda been nice with some windows and if it still didn’t have a damp cellar kinda feel and smell to it.
“I am Alan Nordstrom, the manager of Mr. Siegel’s estate,” he told us. “Mr. Siegel is a rich and powerful man, and the only one who can give you what you need. He gives it to me and I give it to you, so you obey either one of us. Got that?”
“Yes, sir,” we both responded in unison.
“Now, men like Mr. Siegel aren’t like ordinary men. He has everything he needs and he can buy anything he wants, so he tends to get turned on by the few things nobody else can have. There’s precious art all over—you don’t touch it. There’s original sculpture all over. You don’t touch that, either. That’s all you two are to him—part of his collection, for his personal use and enjoyment. When he’s here and wants you, you’re his, to do whatever he commands and take whatever he gives. Other times you’re subject to every other person in this house from me down to the gardener. If they order you or I order you to do something, you do it. Anybody wants your body, that’s fine, too. There’s a speaker over there in the vanity so you can be called any time of the day or night. You get called, you come running.
“Anything you want to do, you ask permission. You go back down that hall, up those stairs, and see whoever’s in the first room on the right. That’s the security manager, and there’s always somebody on. You use this bathroom and only this bathroom. You never use the pool or enter the main house unless ordered. The grounds and the ocean are okay if you’re free and ask permission and get it, but the water’s still pretty cold right now. You always smile and you always say ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ and ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to any white folks. And unless you’re ordered to do otherwise, while you’re here, inside and out, you’ll wear nothing. Nothing at all, except panties when you do your monthly bleeding. You pick up your meals from the kitchen after everybody else eats, and you take it out and bring it down here, then clean up the mess and bring it back. Now—strip!
“Why, dat’s slavery—sir,” Brandy Two said softly.
“No it’s not. Anytime either of you don’t like it here, you are free to leave. If you complain, or smart-mouth anybody, or we don’t like the way you do things, we might even toss you out. You see, Mr. Siegel likes practical pets, but he’s allergic to dogs.”
We stripped, but if looks coulda killed we’d’a burned this bastard to a crisp. Slaves, pets—his own damned brand of Vogel’s Nazism. And this guy with a name like Arnold Siegel!
But, of course, Arnie Siegel had never heard of no Adolf Hitler or death camps. They didn’t have that in this world’s history. The last big bad guy was Napoleon. Ten to one he heard from somebody from the competition about Vogel’s thing and never even knowed the history behind it, and how he’d have been gassed no matter how much money and power he had. No race or ethnic group was immune. Catholics stepped on Jews for centuries. Moslems step on Jews, Jews blow up Moslems in my world. Some free blacks in the old south owned slaves, and Liberia was made by freed American blacks enslavin’ the Africans.

This was a radical change for us from anything we’d had up to now, and they meant every word of it and also understood just what kinda hold the juice had on us. They reinforced it by bringin’ on withdrawal and makin’ their demands until we crawled and begged and would do or say anything, and then they used that mellow time after the high to tell us just how to act and how to behave. And, like before, one day you wake up and it’s the way things are. You still don’t hav’ta like it and you don’t hav’ta enjoy it, but you obey all the rules instinctively and you don’t even think of disobeying. This was all the shit they learned in Vogel’s world refined.
The one odd thing was that they wanted us both called Brandy, nothin’ else, and they wanted us always together. Sleep together, eat together, run, work, play together, even be a duo when gettin’ fucked. It was like they was tryin’ to make us identical, at the lowest level. I had a hunch the honeymoon was over and they was preparin’ us for somethin’, though right then it didn’t seem like much.
Fact was, we wasn’t treated too bad. The cooks always made up what we wanted, the rooms got cleaned, and there was always some members of some gang or another in the house who wanted to do it with twins. Nordstrom was more of a Tinkerbell than even I had thought, and he pretty well hated and looked down on women in general, but because of that he didn’t like us around him much. He was a real turkey when he did use us for somethin’, but that wasn’t very often.
Arnie Siegel, on the other hand, was an icy cool charmer. You got the idea that the guy could be sittin’ there sippin’ sherry and in gentle good humor reminisce with a chuckle about the time he murdered his parents inch by inch with a knife. I doubt if he did that, but he sure was the type. The fact that he was good-lookin’, even handsome, almost a movie star type of look, only made it worse. He liked to cuddle sometimes in his big den with the leather furniture, fireplace, hunting trophies and bear rug, and sometimes he’d just be readin’ or doin’ somethin’ on the couch and want us perched on the rug. He was weird. When it got hot, he threw some parties invitin’ all sorts of bigwigs—not just crime figures, but politicians, show business types, even cops. When he did, we was allowed to dress real pretty and slinky and sometimes entertain the guests with a dance or strip act, and entertain a lot of important folks in the mirrored bedroom as well. That we liked a lot.
If he had all this and was only number two, you had to wonder what Big Georgie Wycliffe must be like.
Then, one evenin’, we was summoned up to the den by the master of the house himself, only this time he wasn’t alone. There was a woman with him, one who looked slightly familiar but who I was sure I never had seen before. She was fairly small and if she was well built she took pains to dress to conceal it. She wore a stock professional woman’s suit and blouse, blue with faint stripes, and even though she didn’t even seem to have lipstick on, let alone eye shadow, I couldn’t get it outta my head that she was made-up like mad. She was almost as dark as me but it was more like a temporary suntan than the tan I got, wore thick glasses, and had black hair tied up in a bun. She might have been a top secretary or somethin’, but she had real long and perfectly shaped fingernails. Ever try typin’ with long nails? Matter of fact, they looked more like the kinda nails we had, and her hands was smooth as a baby’s.
They stood there, Arnie and Ms. Cool, and he put us through our paces, makin’ us do all sorts of idiotic stuff, even do the two bitches in heat number. We felt like pet dogs doin’ tricks. Finally we got up and stood there while she asked us questions.
“Do you mind being here, living like this?” The voice was high and, while cold, reminded me of somethin’.
“No, ma’am,” we both responded, which was a lie. We’d be over that damned wall in a minute if we didn’t need our juice.
She asked a bunch more innocuous and dumb questions, but she come over to us and started runnin’ her nails over my skin and then my twin’s, then actually pinchin’ our fannies and feelin’ us up. It was gross and unusual, particularly since you could see it was out of character for her and she wasn’t in the least turned on by it like we was. Still, I got a slight whiff of her perfume and it wasn’t no perfume you could get here, but I’d smelled it before. At headquarters. It was real popular among the women there.
“Amazing,” she said to Siegel. “I can’t tell them apart, even from the reactions. Which of you is Horowitz?”
“I am,” we both said at once. I started a bit and gave a puzzled glance at my twin. What the hell was she tryin’ to pull, anyways? Did she flip out from bein’ with me all that time and sorta take on my background ’cause it was so much better than hers, or what? Damn it, I knew who I was.
And then she had us turn back to back and started askin’ rapid-fire questions ’bout my personal life, ’bout Sam, ’bout the Company, lots of stuff, to each of us in turn. The scary thing was, Brandy Two was givin’ the same right answers as me, includin’ the kind of personal stuff I knew I never told nobody, not even her. Worse, she was answerin’ in my tone and my grammar and my vocabulary!
“Amazing,” said the cold woman. “Even they can’t tell anymore!”
“Well, there’s one way,” Siegel said, reachin’ down and gettin’ some cards from behind the couch. They had big letters on them, like eye charts. Big enough for even us to read with no glasses.
They showed one card to my twin, and she read, “ ‘Universities are institutions of higher learnin’, divided into specialized colleges . . . ’ ”
“Enough!” said the woman, and Siegel came over and held the other side of the card up for me to read.
And I tried. I saw the words clear, but I just couldn’t put ’em together right. “ ‘De opp—opra—was de cree—cree—cretin’ of de—fam—fam’ly?—team—of . . . ’ ” I couldn’t. I could see the words but I couldn’t make sense of ’em. He took the card away and put it in front of the other Brandy.
“ ‘The operetta was the creation of the famous team of Gilbert and Sullivan,’ ” she read flawlessly, and I felt like I could cry.
“It’s all right, dear, go back to your quarters,” the woman told me. “You, Horowitz, stay here.” And I was the one dismissed! I damn near ran down to the room, tears flowin’, and fell on the bed. Memories crept in, other memories. Memories of bein’ on the street as a kid; memories of shootin’ up on smack, of workin’ the Washington streets. Memories of bein’ carried off here, of workin’ the club, of seein’ myself in that room and givin’ her the juice and bringin’ shit . . . My dialect, my vocabulary, my grammar seemed to crumble even in my thoughts.
My God! It ain’t possible! I ain’t her! I ain’t no whore who make all de wrong moves! Dey be messin’ wit’ yo’ brain, girl! Yeah, that was it. That had to be it! Dey took me—her—to Vogel’s place befo’ dey bring her here. Why? Dat hypno-thing. Den dey pair us up and dis hypno-thing gits sprung. But that didn’t make no sense, neither. Sure, they might have done all this just to make her a perfect imitation, but if so, they had to mess with my mind, too. Not with the juice; it didn’t work that way. Did they have one here? Did they make me forget? I is Brandy Hor’witz, damn them! I am!
But was I? No matter how much I went over it and explained it, I couldn’t really accept it one way or the other. I didn’t know! Not for real, not for sure. I tried to get a mental picture of Sam, to hold on to him, to think about all the real small, intimate moments, but he kept slippin’ away. Then one of Nordstrom’s flunkies come in and give me the juice, and all my troubles and doubts slipped away.
And when I started to come down, but was still in that mellow state, Siegel came in. “Well, Brandy Parker, the games are all over now. We were never sure if we could totally condition or trust Brandy Horowitz, since she had a real strong will and a devious mind, so we had to develop you anyway as a possible replacement. But she came along just fine, so you can go back to being just plain Brandy Parker again. Just put everything about her out of your mind and don’t fight it. Go back to being yourself. Don’t think about it anymore. Don’t fight it. It’s too late for you to get her brains and background. You’re a whore, you’ll always be a whore, and that’s the best you can be. Now that we’ve turned her as we planned, she’s no longer your concern.”
I smiled at him. You always love everybody when you’re comin’ down. And when I was all the way down, some of it stuck. No, I didn’t believe him—in fact, when you started thinkin’ ’bout that cold killer type you had to be suspicious that he bothered to come down in person anyways, let alone explain anything—but I didn’t disbelieve him, neither. If I was really her, and treated at Vogel’s, I would be just this way now. I didn’t want to believe it, but I was pretty sure that thing brung your mind down. It might make me unable to read or edit my words, but it couldn’t instantly teach somebody to read all them big words. It didn’t make no sense if they was gonna break, turn, and use the original to then get the two of us to believe we was each other and then send the copy, leavin’ the original a copy of her. I didn’t want to believe it, but no matter how I thought about it it only made sense if she really was Brandy Horowitz and me Brandy Parker.
Worst part was, it didn’t make no difference. I might as well be Parker, since she was off doin’ their business and I was stuck here forever like before. I was a lost ball, a shadow dancer, out of the game unless somethin’ happened to her before they was done. Just as well. I may be only a whore but I wouldn’t have no blood on my hands.

They shipped me back to Atlantic City and put me back in real slinky and sexy clothes, not to work the club but to work the streets. There was hordes of vacationers all over the place and even conventions. I still had both sets of memories in my head but the way I was workin’ and the life I was leadin’ and the end of all hope brought Brandy Parker supreme. All my thoughts beyond the juice was in turnin’ tricks, lotsa tricks, and I did. I didn’t get or want a dime of all that money, but it was the only value I had. The more men who would pay for me, and pay top prices for me, the more important I felt. Didn’t need no brains. Didn’t need no egghead shit. Dat other girl, she got dose, and where it git her?
By the end of the season, I no longer thought much about it or had any doubts. Way back in my mind I still cared, still envied her and thought they’d pulled a dirty trick on me, but that was it. Fast Eddie was real happy. “Girl, you’re a terror,” he said and chuckled. “I ain’t never seen no whore pull in over a thousand a week before. Now that things are winding down here, everybody, including the Boss, thinks you should get a step up. You’re our special from now on. No more cleaning up or shitwork for you. You’re gonna be for the best customers.”
And I was real thrilled and proud to hear that. I would get diamonds and gold jewelry now, real pretty stuff, and slinky dresses tailored for me, and a suite with two other girls at fancy hotels, and the customers would come to me. Otherwise, I could do what I pleased and enjoy the places. It was the top of the profession.
But Siegel wanted me before I went off on all this. He was entertainin’ some very important folks at Mr. Wycliffe’s lodge in the mountains, and he wanted me there. It was still fairly warm; I just took a bag with some of my best clothes and had a real excitin’ time gettin’ there. They flew me up on a private airplane, a little one-engine job that was kinda like a Piper Cub and rough over the mountains, but it was all real pretty. We came down at a private airstrip on the property, and I was real impressed.
Marty was there to meet me, and this time he carried the luggage, what there was of it. “Well, goil, you really come up in de woild since dat last time,” he said in his Brooklynese.
“I’m de bestest whore dat eva’ was,” I told him, walkin’ real sexy. Then I gave him a move. “Want some choc’late fudge? I even fuck you dese days, my man.”
“Eh. Don’t tempt me. I got a wife and two kids who think I do now.”
The house was a fancy all-wood huntin’ lodge, almost like a resort only it was just two stories and had a big deck. There was a glassed-in patio and pool as well. I didn’t ask who I was supposed to service, or why; I didn’t really care.
It was real nice inside; big fireplace, overstuffed chairs around it, bear rugs and more trophies—but it looked more right here than in Siegel’s estate. There was a very small staff on, but they was gettin’ ready for some big arrivals, that was for sure, and there was two or three hood types around checkin’ it all out. Maybe it was Big Georgie! Wouldn’t that be somethin’! Big George’s mistress. Top o’ de world, girl!
Since there wasn’t much goin’ on, I got the urge to exercise. Normally I had this clingy gym shirt and shorts and shoes for it, but I realized I forgot to pack ’em. Well, the hell with it. I’d give ’em all a thrill. It was my body got me this far; I wasn’t the least bit ashamed of showin’ it, and barefoot over grass sounded like real fun. This black girl would be turnin’ on some white boys, that was for sure.
It was right near sundown, and there was a mist around. It got cool fast in the mountains, but it was plenty warm enough for me. I started out, gettin’ all sorts of stares, and began my run. I never knew how far I ran most days, ’cept that it was several miles when I had the time. I just ran as long as the juice made me feel good and stopped when it stopped.
I went till I hit a boundary, which was a real mean barbed-wire fence, then started ’round it, past the airstrip, past the guards with guns and dogs at several places, and all the way around the huge property, up hill and down, in and put of the trees. There was this fair-sized cleared area right in back of the lodge with a little fence around it and a kinda tent roof over it, but with no sides. As I came near, I saw somethin’ happen there.

A blue-white line, then another line out of it, then finally the outline of a cube, then another, then another. The Labyrinth! This was the Labyrinth! Hell, I could jump that itty bitty fence in nothin’ flat and be inside the thing before nobody even noticed. Not that I would. This was proof positive of that. Where could I go? No juice in there, at least none I could find with a steady supply, and for what? I ran on past, up the front steps to the deck, and stopped. It was a great run and I felt great for doin’ it. Off in the distance, I heard the motor of another plane comin’ in, and I ran to the side and watched the runway lights come on and the little thing land. I turned and saw Marty there, leerin’ at me. I couldn’t resist it. I went over and put my arms around him.
“Hey! Stop it! Cut it out!” I laughed and teased him and twitched him in his crotch, but finally backed off. “Jeez! I sure as hell like you better den dat udder one dey sent through dis mornin’!”
I stopped, mildly interested. “ ’Nother what?”
“Another you. De other one, only you sure couldn’t tell it. Real cool; professional, if you know what I mean. Even packin’ a rod in that purse of hers.”
I suddenly was interested. “A gun? She had a gun?”
“Yep. And walked through dat t’ing out back cool as a cucumber.”
What had they been doin’ with her all these months? Jesus! They was sendin’ her off to kill somebody! Dat’s what dis is all ’bout! But who? Nobody back in the world of them golden folks. Couldn’t get no gun in. I searched through her old memories, findin’ it uncomfortable, but this had me curious. Got to be goin’ back to her home. To do what? To kill that Markham fella, most like. He’d be in de way. Or, maybe not. Could she be far ’nuff gone to kill Sam? Suppose her Sam had woke up and come home, much to somebody’s upset. Not near so many Sams in dem worlds as Brandys, and he be harder to switch. But she wouldn’t ice him, would she? She love him like crazy. Even wit’ all dis brain shit, no way she could do it. Could de juice make her pull dat trigger? Maybe on Markham, but on Sam?
I was shaken by the idea, but there was nothin’ I could do about it ’cept hope they caught her before she did it.
“You okay?” Marty asked. “You’re lookin’ a little sick.”
“No, it ain’t nothin’. Jes’ my period comin’ on or somethin’.” I went inside and up to my room and tried to get the picture out of my mind.

The new plane carried Arnie Siegel. He came in, said hello to the staff and the boys, and went up to his own room to shower and change. I did the same, then put on my best face and jewelry and the slinky metallic blue dress that looked painted on, left nothin’ to the imagination, and was slit all the way up in case it did anyways. I did it up right. Fingernails, toenails, his favorite perfume, you name it. I needed to think ’bout somethin’ else for a while. By the time I had checked the nylons and garters and slipped on the shoes, Arnie had been done for some time and was back in his office all the way down the hall. His door was open and I could see part of his desk, so I kinda eased down, real hesitant. I didn’t want him in no bad mood with me, not now.
He heard me, leaned over, saw me, and said, real friendly-like, “Oh, it’s you, Brandy. Come on in if you like.”
So I waltzed in, then stopped dead. In front of Arnie on the desk was a briefcase that musta contained hundreds of doses of the juice at the very least.
He saw my look, and smiled, real amused. “Yeah. Impressive, isn’t it? Just out of curiosity, what would you do if I gave this case to you? Just a pretend question, you understand.”
I thought about it. What would I do? My answer was the point of his question. “Nothin’, Mr. Siegel. Jes’ stash it and keep on goin’.”
Even if I had an unlimited supply with no strings, it wouldn’t matter. I just had no place to go that was better than what I had now, ’specially after bein’ down so far. That other one, she might just use it right, but a whore was a whore in every world and it didn’t get no better than I had it right here. “I ain’t got nobody and noplace to go,” I told him.
He grinned and closed the case. “And that’s why you’re here and why you’re my number-one girl now. I can’t trust many people, you know, but I can trust you. You’re somebody I just never have to worry about.”
I felt a real glow of pride at that.
“Originally, we kept you around just because we had to have a backup just in case things went bad, but that’s all over now. Now and for quite a while I’m keeping you for myself, because I can trust you and there’s nothing hidden or phony about you. Speaking of that, you still have any troubles with some of those memories we planted?”
“Yeah, some,” I admitted. Like the past hour.
“Well, we’ve got some doctor’s equipment here that might help that, which we’ve been using the past few months, and the doctor in charge is due back tonight. He put it in there and he can get it out, real quick and painless, just like he got it in. Maybe we’ll have him take a look at you and take advantage of the fact that it’s all here and get rid of her once and for all. I think you’ll be a lot happier.”
“Yes, suh. Whateva’ you say.”
I wasn’t real sure I wanted to lose what I had of her. Just the idea that I coulda done better than I did if I had a few breaks was kinda nice to feel, even if it was too late for me. But I could see Arnie’s point and I didn’t want to say nothin’ against it. A quick session, then I don’t know nothin’ ’bout no other Brandys or this Company or no plots or nothin’, and I wouldn’t wanna know. What you see is what you get. Then I wouldn’t have this naggin’ dirty feelin’ in the back of my head, neither, ’bout nobody gettin’ shot over juice.
We went on down to dinner, with me on my best behavior. I wasn’t none too comfortable at a regular dinner. I never could figure out which fork was what and what you ate with what, but I just sat quiet and followed everybody else’s example. Maybe that doc could teach me some manners with that magic machine of his. ’Course, it wasn’t really needed. The only high roller tricks was white guys who wanted to see if black girls really did it better and they wouldn’t be seen dead in no restaurant with no black woman. Bars, yeah, but not restaurants.
The dinner group was small; just Arnie and me, and Marty, plus two tough-lookin’ hoods named Tommy and Sal who I never seen before. They didn’t seem to be Arnie’s men; I had a hunch this place was gonna have some visits by other big shots in the rackets, like a crime council meetin’. I just smiled pretty, tuned out the men-talk, and passed the peas when asked.
My whole idea about Arnie Siegel was changin’ for the better, though. He weren’t no Hitler type; oh, he might be a crook, even a big-time one, but all that slave horseshit had been to break and set up that other me. Nothin’ personal, strictly business. This Doc Carlos guy didn’t show, though; he seemed to have gone out someplace and didn’t get back yet. Arnie could tell I was horny, so he gave the invite to Tommy and Sal and both of ’em paid me visits later on that night in the room. They was typical hoods; thought they was Mr. Macho and really weren’t even Quickie Delight. After that I gave myself a shot of juice and let it take over. This was earlier than I usually took it, but I had a six-hour window. Thing was, though, I come out of that nice, mellow period about three, maybe four in the mornin’, and I usually didn’t go to sleep until six or so.
This was a little different comedown than usual, though. Things kept goin’ ’round and ’round in my head, and I seemed to see them like pieces in a kid’s jigsaw puzzle. They hadn’t really been there up front before, and might never have been brought up had I been fully awake and aware or most particularly if Marty hadn’t never mentioned the other Brandy goin’ off that mornin’ and got me worried and depressed over it.
Vogel . . . hypnoscan . . . Beth . . . Aldrath . . . The Security Committee at dinner . . . the ambush in the Labyrinth . . . Lindy Crockett . . . the shadow dancers . . . Brandy Two . . . the juice . . . the woman at Siegel’s with the strange perfume . . . “Who won that war, anyway?” . . . Beth again, carryin’ Vogel’s load up to the mine . . . “be they yellow, black, or white, there’s no difference in His sight” . . . “The sensors would detect any raw drug” . . . “the commoners can move to other worlds, and have” . . . “You’re a whore and always will be” . . . Donna feelin’ herself up . . . Beth . . . Beth . . . Beth . . . 
I sat up in bed and my mouth hung open. Them sons of bitches! They done it to me again! And after I swore they couldn’t! Never! And they’d’a got clean away with it, too, if only poor, dumb Marty, who didn’t know what was goin’ on or care so long as he got paid good, hadn’t opened his big mouth and said somethin’ he shouldn’t.
I stopped short. Damn it, they was gonna git ’way with it! I knew what they done and what they was gonna do and why and I couldn’t do a damned thing about it. So tomorrow sometime they was gonna take me down to this Dr. Carlos and give me a hypnoscan like the one I had to become Beth, only this time there wouldn’t be no trigger to let my old self back in. I’d be little Brandy Parker, the dumb, ignorant whore and a kinda trophy to their success, and wouldn’t nobody even look for me since she had my looks, my basic memories, and even my fingerprints and eye patterns. ’Cept’n for Marty’s slip, I wouldn’t even have known at all.
I was so frustrated and angry I wanted to cry, but then I heard voices outside. They was muffled, but you could tell it was a man and a woman and that they wasn’t agreein’ on much. I slipped off the bed and crept to my door, then opened it a crack. The whole place was pitch dark ’cept for a light shinin’ from under the closed door of Arnie’s office at the end of the hall. I was just decidin’ whether or not to get closer—I could always say I was goin’ to the bathroom—when I heard two dull sounds. Thud! Thud! They sounded like gunshots done with a silencer!
I rushed forward, and at that moment the door opened and a dark figure clad in black rushed out the door. The light and the action stunned me for a second, and they run right into me and we both fell down. I heard the clatter of somethin’ fallin’ on the floor, but the other one didn’t stop but was up and away down the stairs in nothin’ flat. I picked myself up and felt around and got it. A pistol! Felt a little light and funny, but it was definitely a pistol. I picked it up and walked into the office and stopped dead in my tracks. Outside there was some yellin’ and screamin’ and the sound of a few unmuffled shots.
Arnie lay lack in the office chair, head cocked, eyes open and glazed over, a little blood tricklin’ from his mouth. There was two neat, red holes in his silk pajamas, and they was gettin’ bigger. Somebody ran up the stairs and reached the edge of the doorway. I turned, nearly forgettin’ the gun in my hand, to see Marty.
“Mr. Siegel! Somebody ju—Jesus Christ!” He saw Arnie, then me. “You dumb broad! You just killed Mr. Siegel!”
“No! Wait! I—” I started, but Marty was goin’ for his gun. Somethin’ suddenly kicked in and took over for me. The whole thing slowed, like it was some kinda slow-motion movie, and as his hand went to his shoulder holster my hand come up with the pistol in it. I had much better reflexes than Marty, and somethin’ else seemed to be controllin’ my actions. I shot Marty dead center in the middle of his forehead. He looked surprised, then kinda puzzled, and I kicked him down and started lookin’ ’round the office. Then I saw it—the black briefcase, off to one side of the desk. I picked it up and started to move. There was still some commotion outside, but nobody else seemed to be comin’ straight in, so I headed for my room and suddenly was thinkin’ again, although on a real supercharged level. I thought ’bout ditchin’ the gun and pretendin’ to be asleep, but I knew that wouldn’t wash. There was no way to hide that briefcase in time, and no way I was gonna part with it short of dyin’. With Arnie dead there’d be a new order around, and I wouldn’t be worth shit to the new guys even if they didn’t blame me for this.
I didn’t waste no time gettin’ dressed. I just threw what I saw into my bag, includin’ the shoes, and put it over my shoulder. I had the briefcase in one hand and the gun in the other. I didn’t know how many more bullets was in that gun, but it was all I had. I opened the door and saw somebody had come in and turned the main room’s lights on. I crept to the top of the stairs, saw two men lookin’ around. One of ’em thought to look up, and I plugged him and then his companion with no thought. That kind of accuracy, when both had guns in their hands, was near impossible. The juice—the juice was readin’ my danger level and forcin’ me to protect it, and me, at any cost!
I made a leap that woulda done Tarzan proud down to the main floor and hit in a crouch without losin’ the case or the bag. I stopped tryin’ to fight the juice, and suddenly I was a killer machine. I had only one thought: escape. I was like some vicious cornered animal, only I knew the layout and I knew the gun and I knew the only way out I could go.
I made my way back to the kitchen area, then peered outside. It was real dark, but the glow from the house lights lit it up some. Two guards, one with a rifle, was out there arguin’ and pointin’—at the Labyrinth.
It was on, right full, all them cubelike shapes dancin’ and changin’ and ready for use. No way to make any kinda run, so I just held the pistol at my side and walked through the backdoor onto the porch. They turned and their guns come up.
“Hey, boys!” I called to them. “What de hell goin’ on, anyways?”
One of ’em cussed but they both relaxed, and then I shot ’em both down with my eyes at more than thirty feet and jumped down onto the lawn. Somebody come at me right then, and I swung the briefcase and caught him on the head, then kicked him hard with my foot. He fell back and doubled over.
There was another one near the Labyrinth I didn’t see, and he made right for me. He musta been six three and three hundred pounds and yet so fast I didn’t even have time to use the gun. I dropped the briefcase and then kicked him, grabbed him, and brought both my arms, with gun, down on his head so fast I ain’t never gonna know what I did or how. I was now only a few feet from the fence, but I couldn’t go yet. I had to drop that case and wasn’t no way I was goin’ without it even if they shot me dead.
I made for it, got it, then looked up and saw a man on the back porch, framed by the house lights, gun held steady by both hands. There was no way I could figure on scoopin’ up the case and gettin’ off more’n a wild shot while he had me cold, but I went for it anyways, hardly lookin’ as I shot him. I turned and looked back to see him fall forward off the porch onto the ground. At that moment I wasn’t one to question luck; I jumped that little fence and ran into the Labyrinth just as it seemed to be slowin’ down and growin’ smaller.
I hit the cube runnin’, then rolled and stopped, then crouched and waited to see if anybody was followin’ me. Instead, I watched the cube face from which I’d entered slowly fade out to black. Only then did I get back my wits and try to think ’bout what to do next.
First I looked at the pistol. No wonder it made that funny noise! It was made outta somethin’ like yellow or gold plastic and you could see a lot of funny works in there. It sure as hell shot somethin’ hard and real, though; those was holes in Arnie, not no ray gun burns or shit like that. That also meant it could run outta bullets anytime. Hell, it might be empty now, but I didn’t dare test it. That test might be my last bullet, too.
I looked next at the briefcase that was life to me. Hell, maybe it was only six months, maybe a year, but it was more’n they tried to give me or woulda if I’d stayed with no Arnie around. I opened the case and felt panic. It wasn’t empty, but it nearly was. Only one of them shrink-wrapped packets of juice cubes was in there. Only one. Panicky as hell, I counted them. Four layers of eight each. A month’s supply. Probably my supply. I still had three in my bag, that meant thirty-five. I had thirty-five days to live.
That meant I had to do somethin’, make some hard decisions, but not right away. More worrisome right off was that somebody back there had helped me escape. The other guys I shot, they all fell backwards like they should, but the guy on the porch, the one who had me cold, had fallen forward. Maybe that killer was still back there, waitin’ for the time to light out for South America or whatever. It was a woman, that was for sure, and I didn’t think she planned to kill Arnie. I really didn’t. She coulda done that nice and quiet. Most likely it was that strange woman at Siegel’s house. That was almost surely Addison, only she didn’t look nothin’ like the sketches that Crockett bitch showed me.
Maybe Arnie’d gotten greedy, or ambitious. He knowed what was up, that’s for sure, but he wouldn’t be more than a small part of it. What had they promised him? That he’d replace Big Georgie as crime boss when they took over? It probably sounded good at the time, but he now knew that was just chicken feed. So maybe, after years of setup, Arnie decides when they begin to roll that he’ll throw some kinda monkey wrench in the machinery and hold out for more. The only, way to know for sure what it was about was to ask Addison, and I was a long way from bein’ able to do that yet.
Now I had only a few choices. First switcher I met, I’d hav’ta give a destination. I was one of them lucky few cleared through to headquarters and it was the logical place to go, but I didn’t want to go there unless I had to. They’d take all my information, all right, but then I’d wind up in the Center. Maybe if I started into withdrawal and there was no other way I’d do that, but so long as I had juice I sure as hell wouldn’t. Requestin’ some destination by description, like Brandy two’s home world, was risky. Them switchers used translators and so many worlds was alike enough to them that they usually got it wrong anyways. Besides, what would that buy me ’cept a month of freelance whorin’? Crazy fact was, the best chance I had was tryin’ to push the case. Get ’em where I could call the tune. I didn’t give a damn if they took over everything or not no more, but I wanted a personal, guaranteed, lifetime supply of juice they couldn’t cut off. It was a lot cheaper price than Arnie probably asked for, and if I was smart about it they wouldn’t dare knock me off.
Yeah, I know, it was crazy to think that they would even bother dealin’ with me with all the power they had, but that’s the thing ’bout bein’ hooked. Still, other than that, it made me very cool and logical. I just had killed my first three people and it didn’t bother me one bit. I had no inhibitions at all. Now I knew. My twin would kill without a thought if it was that or juice. That was my only lead, then, too. If I was wrong, if I hadn’t doped it out right, I was stuck, but if I was right, I had a place to start.
The briefcase didn’t seem worth keepin’, now. I put the packet in my shoulder bag, and the gun, too.
I knew what they done to me, and I kinda guessed why. Brandy Two and I was even more alike than I figured. Oh, she was a whore, all right, but that didn’t mean nothin’ when it came to other interests. She’d still come from a readin’ family and she read real good. She maybe talked better than I did, too; she might have been a higher class hooker by the time they got her than she was supposed to be. That’s why they run her up to Vogel’s place first—to get her brains scrambled a little, the same kinda thing as they did to me. Made her a dumb-ass ignorant slut, then sent her down to Siegel till they could get hold of me. Workin’ the shadow dancer route, bein’ conditioned with slow withdrawal and then suggested to death on the comedown, she was probably all set up as the girl I saw. It’s all they needed from her.
Then I showed up, and I didn’t look the same no more, and for a while I gave ’em the slip before walkin’ right into their hands as I had to sooner or later. This was a patient bunch. They had somethin’ else they was gonna use this other Brandy for, somethin’ I didn’t have worked out yet, but then there I was. Somehow, durin’ that time, they had an extra problem, too. If Sam was dead or still in a coma, then I was all wet, but I bet my last shot of juice that he recovered. Watchin’ me, they had a healthy respect for him, and he wasn’t no easy snatch and switch. More, he’d be a real dangerous enemy ’cause he’d know where I was and sooner or later he’d come and find out, and maybe not alone. So they changed their plans.
And that’s the point I was really guessin’ on. Suppose Vogel’s experimenters found that they could make a juicer do absolutely anything, and I mean anything—even kill. But there was a point, someplace, where even the juice couldn’t force it. Maybe a percentage of folks just couldn’t be made to kill their wives, husbands, or babies. Maybe it was only a few, but it was there no matter what they did, and they needed a Brandy so convincin’ that Sam wouldn’t have no doubts at all—and they wouldn’t, neither. So they had Brandy Two watch me, watch my moves, my mannerisms, my quirks and habits, talk a lot about myself. Maybe she didn’t even know then that she was takin’ it all in, but she was. We was inseparable.
So, when they was ready, maybe when Sam was just due to come home, they took us to Siegel’s estate and stuck us in such a low, degradin’ situation we didn’t even have no track of days or times, just shot to shot. Then, when we was on our juice high, they bring in this Dr. Carlos and he hooks up the hypnoscan to us and he puts that dumb, ignorant slut version in me, probably a real edited version of the real thing, and two triggers. The cards! The crazy things on them cards they had us read! More than enough.
All they had to do was start when we was juicin’ high, keep us out for a full twenty-four hours, then give us the next day’s jolt and let us come out natural. We never woulda knowed we lost a day, not there, and Carlos would have a full day to do real fancy work on both our brains.
So when Brandy Two read her card, bingo! All her old skills and speech and shit come back, just flowin’ in till it dominated the other, and that along with all she’d learned and observed by bein’ closer to me than anybody else could for all that time and a friendly hypno-shove convinced her she was me. At the same time, when I read my card, the Brandy Two lower personality flowed in and my old stuff was shoved to the back. I couldn’t read that card ’cause I’d been cut off from my old skills.
But why not just do a Beth number on me? Make me Brandy Two completely and block off the old me entirely? Maybe ’cause they couldn’t, quite. When Doc Jamispur done it to me at Mayar’s place, he had all the top shit, the best computers and stuff they had. Maybe it took more than a hypnoscan to do it completely. How would I know?
What he done was bad enough. Even I believed it. Forcin’ that Brandy Two personality and cuttin’ the skills—they knew just where to look ’cause they already did it once to her—to be up front. Even if you had the old stuff, you could do what they couldn’t—forget it or push it all the way back till it rotted. Vogel proved that by bringin’ out Beth on the getaway. All he did was talk me into the idea that I was turnin’ back into Beth and I couldn’t fight it, and I was so ignorant of what they done to me and so in awe of their powers that I swallowed it and started becomin’ Beth and trashin’ Brandy. This time they was more clever, ’cause I didn’t know I’d been hypnoscanned, wasn’t ready for it, and when I figured it out they had a real convincin’ reason for me to doubt my own identity. Real convincin’. Still, it was one of their stock tricks, and it had worked on me twice. Woulda worked, too, if Marty just hadn’t shot off his fat mouth and started that old part of me movin’.
Not that it was easy. I knew who I was now, and had my old memories, but Brandy Two was still forward, still in the driver’s seat, and I didn’t have no Center to get her out. I was stuck with that real southern ghetto dialect, had a hard time handlin’ big words, and I wasn’t gonna write no incriminatin’ statements. I needed to take a chance on somebody who could and who might not turn me in.
If that damned twin of mine hadn’t already murdered him.



THE SHADOW DANCERS

8. Unravelling Threads

Brandy Two was as fascinated by me as I was by her. The idea that I’d taken over the agency, educated myself, and married a white guy she found both incredible and unbelievable, but Fast Eddie’s respect for the old me was more than enough testimony. The problem was, she’d gone wrong even earlier than me. Mama died even younger in her world, and Daddy stuck her—as he almost did me—with a couple of cousins who didn’t give a damn. She’d been into drugs early, maybe in grammar school, and she was even wilder as a teen than I had been. She’d been caught stealin’ when she was only fourteen, and when Daddy threw a fit she’d run away all the way to Washington—which existed in her world as in mine—and had run the streets. By sixteen she had a habit and was in the string of one of them pimps with the fancy coats and Superfly image. Daddy had tried to find her, of course, but considerin’ how hard it is to find runaway kids who want to be found, it’s pure luck if you find one that don’t.
She was a whore ’cause she’d been one all her adult life and didn’t know how to be, or imagine she could be, nothin’ else. It all went into the body, the looks, the moves. She had always been dependent for everything, and the mind was the one thing in her kinda life that it was better off not payin’ much attention to. She didn’t read and had no knowledge of or interest in the world. The fact that I’d come from the same start and I’d made somethin’ of myself gave her somethin’ of a feelin’ of worth by association, but it was too late for her to change, she thought, and what was the use anyway? We was both stuck in the same groove. In a real way, she was less my twin than my shadow; she looked like me, but there was nothin’ left down there.
The problem was, as time rolled on, I was becomin’ more and more like her. On the road, we was even further removed from Small and Siegel and all that lay behind ’em. We slept, ate, exercised, had as much sex as we could with anybody, worked out new routines for the act, and for fun went to stores and tried on all sorts of clothes to make us look even sexier, experimented with new cosmetics and perfumes, and spent a long time in mirrors gettin’ it right. The future was the next jolt of juice.
The only thing that tempted me durin’ that time was tryin’ to go thirty hours between juice jolts. They generally gave us a week’s supply at a time, since you couldn’t overdose on it and even with a week you wasn’t goin’ nowheres. I figured at the end of a week I’d have an extra, and then maybe I’d go over to Lindy Crockett’s place some afternoon, hold her down, and give her a taste of the stuff. I never did, though. It’s the curse of an addiction that you never give it away or delay gettin’ it when you got it and it’s due.
We went back down to Atlantic City at the beginnin’ of May to get ready for the high season at the club there, and for the first time I was back in the same town as Small and Siegel. By now it was clear that I was stuck and that I couldn’t do or learn much more than I did unless things was taken out of my hands and moved from a different source. My big worry was that Aldrath would get itchy after all them faked reports from me and nothin’ really happenin’ and decide to come snatch me. I didn’t want to be snatched or cured, no matter what the price. What I wanted was a way to be independent of the beck and call of the bastards who doled it out.
I mean, name me a girl over thirty, or a guy, either, who suddenly had the body of their dreams and found keepin’ it that way a pleasure? Who couldn’t get sick if they stood all day in the wind and rain. Who had been an old thirty-two and now looked a young twenty-five. Add to that an absence of hangups, of any guilt, second thoughts, regrets for anything you done from that point on, and a high, charged-up energy level that kept you always active, always feelin’ good, never feelin’ bored or down in the dumps, and just a little bit playfully high all the time. The only real problem was the man who doled out the juice. You had to dance to whatever tune he played or it all came crashin’ in, and you was never secure he just wouldn’t end it someday.

“Get all your things packed up,” Fast Eddie told us. “You’re goin’ for a little ride.”
I was shocked and surprised, but you don’t ask no questions in Fast Eddie’s string. Pack up for what? And where? Another club, another city? It was just gettin’ real nice and warm in Atlantic City and the crowds was startin’ to pick up, at least on the weekends. I put on my metallic blue dress that was real short and super-revealin’, as was almost all my stuff, with matchin’ shoes and made myself up to go. Then I packed the rest in this big steamer trunk, all I had in this world, closed it, and took it downstairs. It was awkward goin’, but even though the trunk musta weighed a hundred pounds or more packed, I had no trouble movin’ and partly carryin’ it. I was damned strong and proud of it.
I was relieved to see that my twin also had her marchin’ orders. I no longer was surprised that we’d independently picked the same clothes and even jewelry and makeup. On the basic conversation level we didn’t even have to talk much; each of us kinda knew what the other was thinkin’. Not mind readin’—just the same tastes and likes and thought patterns. I looked at her and she shrugged and I knew she didn’t have no more warning nor inklin’ of what was goin’ on than I did.
Fast Eddie rarely paid direct, individual attention to nobody, but he was there now. A huge black car pulled up just outside, and the driver got out, opened the trunk, then waited.
“Okay, girls, there’s your ride,” Small told us. “Sorry to lose you but the Boss wanted some fresh faces.”
The Boss—Siegel? I wasn’t too sure I liked this, but he was the man from whom all juice flowed, so there wasn’t no way out. We got our trunks barely in the “boot” of the big car, then got in the backseat. The driver and one of Small’s henchmen got in the front, and off we went, south and out of town. I figured we had to be headin’ for Siegel’s place on the ocean, and I was right.
It was real isolated, like I said, with a big gate and high fence around the whole forty acres that kept any spyin’ down. The fences was masked on the ground side by a twelve-foot-high hedge wall, then went right down into the beach and about to the low tide point, gettin’ a little lower as they went. Way out in the water was a squared-off stone breakwater that kept things mostly calm inside the house and discouraged spyin’ from the sea. At the end was a pier and slip at which was a big and fancy-lookin’ wooden yacht as well as a couple of smaller boats. The yacht was moored in line with the beach, so it kinda blocked a straight view in. You could spy on Arnie Siegel’s place from the sea, but you had to be pretty damned obvious about it. The grounds was green and landscaped, with lotsa trees and bushes and low hedges. A staff spent a lot of time in the spring and summer and fall keepin’ it that way.
The house itself was enormous; part brick, part wood, maybe three stories tall and a city block around and all covered with ivy. Back before all this, when I was checkin’ Siegel out, I learned that the house was the former official summer residence of the Governor General of America, the guy who represented the King in this country. This was supposed to be some place, and you could bet with bein’ able to tap into some of the Company’s technology it was near impossible for anybody in this world to get into or out of or learn much. There weren’t no soldiers or nothin’ like that, but I couldn’t shake the funniest feelin’ that I was goin’ back to Vogel’s castle.
“You goils ain’t here to gawk, you’re here to woik,” snapped Marty, the Fast Eddie man who’d come with us. He had a real New Yauk accent. He wasn’t, however, no man with the juice.
“Work at what?” I asked him. “Looks like he got ’nuff folks here to run this place.”
Marty gave this sneering smile, like he got when he was pickin’ wings off flies. “You’ll see.”
A young man in casual dress came out of the side entrance—we was goin’ in the servant’s entrance, of course—and he was one of the most gorgeous hunks you ever could see. One of them super musclemen, well over six feet, blond, blue-eyed. I never saw no man looked that good who wasn’t gay.
“You two follow me,” he ordered in this boomin’ voice that still had a trace of gentle lisp in it. I knew it, I thought.
We went in and down a narrow flight of stairs, then walked down this hall past storerooms and stuff to near the end, then entered one room that had no windows. It was almost surely built as another storeroom, but it had been made over. The walls was paneled, the floor was smooth polished wood so glossy you could see your reflection in it, and there was half a wall of free-standin’ closets and dressers and a vanity with mirror as well as a full-length mirror which proved to be a slidin’ door leadin’ to a tiled bathroom with toilet, sink, and a shower big enough for two, but no tub. The main room had two chairs, one at the vanity, the other in a corner, and a queen-sized bed. But the thing you noticed most was the ceilin’, which was low and completely covered with mirror squares. The light came from floor and table lamps, all of which seemed to have soft pink-colored bulbs in them. It was some kinda room, ’cept it woulda been nice with some windows and if it still didn’t have a damp cellar kinda feel and smell to it.
“I am Alan Nordstrom, the manager of Mr. Siegel’s estate,” he told us. “Mr. Siegel is a rich and powerful man, and the only one who can give you what you need. He gives it to me and I give it to you, so you obey either one of us. Got that?”
“Yes, sir,” we both responded in unison.
“Now, men like Mr. Siegel aren’t like ordinary men. He has everything he needs and he can buy anything he wants, so he tends to get turned on by the few things nobody else can have. There’s precious art all over—you don’t touch it. There’s original sculpture all over. You don’t touch that, either. That’s all you two are to him—part of his collection, for his personal use and enjoyment. When he’s here and wants you, you’re his, to do whatever he commands and take whatever he gives. Other times you’re subject to every other person in this house from me down to the gardener. If they order you or I order you to do something, you do it. Anybody wants your body, that’s fine, too. There’s a speaker over there in the vanity so you can be called any time of the day or night. You get called, you come running.
“Anything you want to do, you ask permission. You go back down that hall, up those stairs, and see whoever’s in the first room on the right. That’s the security manager, and there’s always somebody on. You use this bathroom and only this bathroom. You never use the pool or enter the main house unless ordered. The grounds and the ocean are okay if you’re free and ask permission and get it, but the water’s still pretty cold right now. You always smile and you always say ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ and ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to any white folks. And unless you’re ordered to do otherwise, while you’re here, inside and out, you’ll wear nothing. Nothing at all, except panties when you do your monthly bleeding. You pick up your meals from the kitchen after everybody else eats, and you take it out and bring it down here, then clean up the mess and bring it back. Now—strip!
“Why, dat’s slavery—sir,” Brandy Two said softly.
“No it’s not. Anytime either of you don’t like it here, you are free to leave. If you complain, or smart-mouth anybody, or we don’t like the way you do things, we might even toss you out. You see, Mr. Siegel likes practical pets, but he’s allergic to dogs.”
We stripped, but if looks coulda killed we’d’a burned this bastard to a crisp. Slaves, pets—his own damned brand of Vogel’s Nazism. And this guy with a name like Arnold Siegel!
But, of course, Arnie Siegel had never heard of no Adolf Hitler or death camps. They didn’t have that in this world’s history. The last big bad guy was Napoleon. Ten to one he heard from somebody from the competition about Vogel’s thing and never even knowed the history behind it, and how he’d have been gassed no matter how much money and power he had. No race or ethnic group was immune. Catholics stepped on Jews for centuries. Moslems step on Jews, Jews blow up Moslems in my world. Some free blacks in the old south owned slaves, and Liberia was made by freed American blacks enslavin’ the Africans.

This was a radical change for us from anything we’d had up to now, and they meant every word of it and also understood just what kinda hold the juice had on us. They reinforced it by bringin’ on withdrawal and makin’ their demands until we crawled and begged and would do or say anything, and then they used that mellow time after the high to tell us just how to act and how to behave. And, like before, one day you wake up and it’s the way things are. You still don’t hav’ta like it and you don’t hav’ta enjoy it, but you obey all the rules instinctively and you don’t even think of disobeying. This was all the shit they learned in Vogel’s world refined.
The one odd thing was that they wanted us both called Brandy, nothin’ else, and they wanted us always together. Sleep together, eat together, run, work, play together, even be a duo when gettin’ fucked. It was like they was tryin’ to make us identical, at the lowest level. I had a hunch the honeymoon was over and they was preparin’ us for somethin’, though right then it didn’t seem like much.
Fact was, we wasn’t treated too bad. The cooks always made up what we wanted, the rooms got cleaned, and there was always some members of some gang or another in the house who wanted to do it with twins. Nordstrom was more of a Tinkerbell than even I had thought, and he pretty well hated and looked down on women in general, but because of that he didn’t like us around him much. He was a real turkey when he did use us for somethin’, but that wasn’t very often.
Arnie Siegel, on the other hand, was an icy cool charmer. You got the idea that the guy could be sittin’ there sippin’ sherry and in gentle good humor reminisce with a chuckle about the time he murdered his parents inch by inch with a knife. I doubt if he did that, but he sure was the type. The fact that he was good-lookin’, even handsome, almost a movie star type of look, only made it worse. He liked to cuddle sometimes in his big den with the leather furniture, fireplace, hunting trophies and bear rug, and sometimes he’d just be readin’ or doin’ somethin’ on the couch and want us perched on the rug. He was weird. When it got hot, he threw some parties invitin’ all sorts of bigwigs—not just crime figures, but politicians, show business types, even cops. When he did, we was allowed to dress real pretty and slinky and sometimes entertain the guests with a dance or strip act, and entertain a lot of important folks in the mirrored bedroom as well. That we liked a lot.
If he had all this and was only number two, you had to wonder what Big Georgie Wycliffe must be like.
Then, one evenin’, we was summoned up to the den by the master of the house himself, only this time he wasn’t alone. There was a woman with him, one who looked slightly familiar but who I was sure I never had seen before. She was fairly small and if she was well built she took pains to dress to conceal it. She wore a stock professional woman’s suit and blouse, blue with faint stripes, and even though she didn’t even seem to have lipstick on, let alone eye shadow, I couldn’t get it outta my head that she was made-up like mad. She was almost as dark as me but it was more like a temporary suntan than the tan I got, wore thick glasses, and had black hair tied up in a bun. She might have been a top secretary or somethin’, but she had real long and perfectly shaped fingernails. Ever try typin’ with long nails? Matter of fact, they looked more like the kinda nails we had, and her hands was smooth as a baby’s.
They stood there, Arnie and Ms. Cool, and he put us through our paces, makin’ us do all sorts of idiotic stuff, even do the two bitches in heat number. We felt like pet dogs doin’ tricks. Finally we got up and stood there while she asked us questions.
“Do you mind being here, living like this?” The voice was high and, while cold, reminded me of somethin’.
“No, ma’am,” we both responded, which was a lie. We’d be over that damned wall in a minute if we didn’t need our juice.
She asked a bunch more innocuous and dumb questions, but she come over to us and started runnin’ her nails over my skin and then my twin’s, then actually pinchin’ our fannies and feelin’ us up. It was gross and unusual, particularly since you could see it was out of character for her and she wasn’t in the least turned on by it like we was. Still, I got a slight whiff of her perfume and it wasn’t no perfume you could get here, but I’d smelled it before. At headquarters. It was real popular among the women there.
“Amazing,” she said to Siegel. “I can’t tell them apart, even from the reactions. Which of you is Horowitz?”
“I am,” we both said at once. I started a bit and gave a puzzled glance at my twin. What the hell was she tryin’ to pull, anyways? Did she flip out from bein’ with me all that time and sorta take on my background ’cause it was so much better than hers, or what? Damn it, I knew who I was.
And then she had us turn back to back and started askin’ rapid-fire questions ’bout my personal life, ’bout Sam, ’bout the Company, lots of stuff, to each of us in turn. The scary thing was, Brandy Two was givin’ the same right answers as me, includin’ the kind of personal stuff I knew I never told nobody, not even her. Worse, she was answerin’ in my tone and my grammar and my vocabulary!
“Amazing,” said the cold woman. “Even they can’t tell anymore!”
“Well, there’s one way,” Siegel said, reachin’ down and gettin’ some cards from behind the couch. They had big letters on them, like eye charts. Big enough for even us to read with no glasses.
They showed one card to my twin, and she read, “ ‘Universities are institutions of higher learnin’, divided into specialized colleges . . . ’ ”
“Enough!” said the woman, and Siegel came over and held the other side of the card up for me to read.
And I tried. I saw the words clear, but I just couldn’t put ’em together right. “ ‘De opp—opra—was de cree—cree—cretin’ of de—fam—fam’ly?—team—of . . . ’ ” I couldn’t. I could see the words but I couldn’t make sense of ’em. He took the card away and put it in front of the other Brandy.
“ ‘The operetta was the creation of the famous team of Gilbert and Sullivan,’ ” she read flawlessly, and I felt like I could cry.
“It’s all right, dear, go back to your quarters,” the woman told me. “You, Horowitz, stay here.” And I was the one dismissed! I damn near ran down to the room, tears flowin’, and fell on the bed. Memories crept in, other memories. Memories of bein’ on the street as a kid; memories of shootin’ up on smack, of workin’ the Washington streets. Memories of bein’ carried off here, of workin’ the club, of seein’ myself in that room and givin’ her the juice and bringin’ shit . . . My dialect, my vocabulary, my grammar seemed to crumble even in my thoughts.
My God! It ain’t possible! I ain’t her! I ain’t no whore who make all de wrong moves! Dey be messin’ wit’ yo’ brain, girl! Yeah, that was it. That had to be it! Dey took me—her—to Vogel’s place befo’ dey bring her here. Why? Dat hypno-thing. Den dey pair us up and dis hypno-thing gits sprung. But that didn’t make no sense, neither. Sure, they might have done all this just to make her a perfect imitation, but if so, they had to mess with my mind, too. Not with the juice; it didn’t work that way. Did they have one here? Did they make me forget? I is Brandy Hor’witz, damn them! I am!
But was I? No matter how much I went over it and explained it, I couldn’t really accept it one way or the other. I didn’t know! Not for real, not for sure. I tried to get a mental picture of Sam, to hold on to him, to think about all the real small, intimate moments, but he kept slippin’ away. Then one of Nordstrom’s flunkies come in and give me the juice, and all my troubles and doubts slipped away.
And when I started to come down, but was still in that mellow state, Siegel came in. “Well, Brandy Parker, the games are all over now. We were never sure if we could totally condition or trust Brandy Horowitz, since she had a real strong will and a devious mind, so we had to develop you anyway as a possible replacement. But she came along just fine, so you can go back to being just plain Brandy Parker again. Just put everything about her out of your mind and don’t fight it. Go back to being yourself. Don’t think about it anymore. Don’t fight it. It’s too late for you to get her brains and background. You’re a whore, you’ll always be a whore, and that’s the best you can be. Now that we’ve turned her as we planned, she’s no longer your concern.”
I smiled at him. You always love everybody when you’re comin’ down. And when I was all the way down, some of it stuck. No, I didn’t believe him—in fact, when you started thinkin’ ’bout that cold killer type you had to be suspicious that he bothered to come down in person anyways, let alone explain anything—but I didn’t disbelieve him, neither. If I was really her, and treated at Vogel’s, I would be just this way now. I didn’t want to believe it, but I was pretty sure that thing brung your mind down. It might make me unable to read or edit my words, but it couldn’t instantly teach somebody to read all them big words. It didn’t make no sense if they was gonna break, turn, and use the original to then get the two of us to believe we was each other and then send the copy, leavin’ the original a copy of her. I didn’t want to believe it, but no matter how I thought about it it only made sense if she really was Brandy Horowitz and me Brandy Parker.
Worst part was, it didn’t make no difference. I might as well be Parker, since she was off doin’ their business and I was stuck here forever like before. I was a lost ball, a shadow dancer, out of the game unless somethin’ happened to her before they was done. Just as well. I may be only a whore but I wouldn’t have no blood on my hands.

They shipped me back to Atlantic City and put me back in real slinky and sexy clothes, not to work the club but to work the streets. There was hordes of vacationers all over the place and even conventions. I still had both sets of memories in my head but the way I was workin’ and the life I was leadin’ and the end of all hope brought Brandy Parker supreme. All my thoughts beyond the juice was in turnin’ tricks, lotsa tricks, and I did. I didn’t get or want a dime of all that money, but it was the only value I had. The more men who would pay for me, and pay top prices for me, the more important I felt. Didn’t need no brains. Didn’t need no egghead shit. Dat other girl, she got dose, and where it git her?
By the end of the season, I no longer thought much about it or had any doubts. Way back in my mind I still cared, still envied her and thought they’d pulled a dirty trick on me, but that was it. Fast Eddie was real happy. “Girl, you’re a terror,” he said and chuckled. “I ain’t never seen no whore pull in over a thousand a week before. Now that things are winding down here, everybody, including the Boss, thinks you should get a step up. You’re our special from now on. No more cleaning up or shitwork for you. You’re gonna be for the best customers.”
And I was real thrilled and proud to hear that. I would get diamonds and gold jewelry now, real pretty stuff, and slinky dresses tailored for me, and a suite with two other girls at fancy hotels, and the customers would come to me. Otherwise, I could do what I pleased and enjoy the places. It was the top of the profession.
But Siegel wanted me before I went off on all this. He was entertainin’ some very important folks at Mr. Wycliffe’s lodge in the mountains, and he wanted me there. It was still fairly warm; I just took a bag with some of my best clothes and had a real excitin’ time gettin’ there. They flew me up on a private airplane, a little one-engine job that was kinda like a Piper Cub and rough over the mountains, but it was all real pretty. We came down at a private airstrip on the property, and I was real impressed.
Marty was there to meet me, and this time he carried the luggage, what there was of it. “Well, goil, you really come up in de woild since dat last time,” he said in his Brooklynese.
“I’m de bestest whore dat eva’ was,” I told him, walkin’ real sexy. Then I gave him a move. “Want some choc’late fudge? I even fuck you dese days, my man.”
“Eh. Don’t tempt me. I got a wife and two kids who think I do now.”
The house was a fancy all-wood huntin’ lodge, almost like a resort only it was just two stories and had a big deck. There was a glassed-in patio and pool as well. I didn’t ask who I was supposed to service, or why; I didn’t really care.
It was real nice inside; big fireplace, overstuffed chairs around it, bear rugs and more trophies—but it looked more right here than in Siegel’s estate. There was a very small staff on, but they was gettin’ ready for some big arrivals, that was for sure, and there was two or three hood types around checkin’ it all out. Maybe it was Big Georgie! Wouldn’t that be somethin’! Big George’s mistress. Top o’ de world, girl!
Since there wasn’t much goin’ on, I got the urge to exercise. Normally I had this clingy gym shirt and shorts and shoes for it, but I realized I forgot to pack ’em. Well, the hell with it. I’d give ’em all a thrill. It was my body got me this far; I wasn’t the least bit ashamed of showin’ it, and barefoot over grass sounded like real fun. This black girl would be turnin’ on some white boys, that was for sure.
It was right near sundown, and there was a mist around. It got cool fast in the mountains, but it was plenty warm enough for me. I started out, gettin’ all sorts of stares, and began my run. I never knew how far I ran most days, ’cept that it was several miles when I had the time. I just ran as long as the juice made me feel good and stopped when it stopped.
I went till I hit a boundary, which was a real mean barbed-wire fence, then started ’round it, past the airstrip, past the guards with guns and dogs at several places, and all the way around the huge property, up hill and down, in and put of the trees. There was this fair-sized cleared area right in back of the lodge with a little fence around it and a kinda tent roof over it, but with no sides. As I came near, I saw somethin’ happen there.
A blue-white line, then another line out of it, then finally the outline of a cube, then another, then another. The Labyrinth! This was the Labyrinth! Hell, I could jump that itty bitty fence in nothin’ flat and be inside the thing before nobody even noticed. Not that I would. This was proof positive of that. Where could I go? No juice in there, at least none I could find with a steady supply, and for what? I ran on past, up the front steps to the deck, and stopped. It was a great run and I felt great for doin’ it. Off in the distance, I heard the motor of another plane comin’ in, and I ran to the side and watched the runway lights come on and the little thing land. I turned and saw Marty there, leerin’ at me. I couldn’t resist it. I went over and put my arms around him.
“Hey! Stop it! Cut it out!” I laughed and teased him and twitched him in his crotch, but finally backed off. “Jeez! I sure as hell like you better den dat udder one dey sent through dis mornin’!”
I stopped, mildly interested. “ ’Nother what?”
“Another you. De other one, only you sure couldn’t tell it. Real cool; professional, if you know what I mean. Even packin’ a rod in that purse of hers.”
I suddenly was interested. “A gun? She had a gun?”
“Yep. And walked through dat t’ing out back cool as a cucumber.”
What had they been doin’ with her all these months? Jesus! They was sendin’ her off to kill somebody! Dat’s what dis is all ’bout! But who? Nobody back in the world of them golden folks. Couldn’t get no gun in. I searched through her old memories, findin’ it uncomfortable, but this had me curious. Got to be goin’ back to her home. To do what? To kill that Markham fella, most like. He’d be in de way. Or, maybe not. Could she be far ’nuff gone to kill Sam? Suppose her Sam had woke up and come home, much to somebody’s upset. Not near so many Sams in dem worlds as Brandys, and he be harder to switch. But she wouldn’t ice him, would she? She love him like crazy. Even wit’ all dis brain shit, no way she could do it. Could de juice make her pull dat trigger? Maybe on Markham, but on Sam?
I was shaken by the idea, but there was nothin’ I could do about it ’cept hope they caught her before she did it.
“You okay?” Marty asked. “You’re lookin’ a little sick.”
“No, it ain’t nothin’. Jes’ my period comin’ on or somethin’.” I went inside and up to my room and tried to get the picture out of my mind.

The new plane carried Arnie Siegel. He came in, said hello to the staff and the boys, and went up to his own room to shower and change. I did the same, then put on my best face and jewelry and the slinky metallic blue dress that looked painted on, left nothin’ to the imagination, and was slit all the way up in case it did anyways. I did it up right. Fingernails, toenails, his favorite perfume, you name it. I needed to think ’bout somethin’ else for a while. By the time I had checked the nylons and garters and slipped on the shoes, Arnie had been done for some time and was back in his office all the way down the hall. His door was open and I could see part of his desk, so I kinda eased down, real hesitant. I didn’t want him in no bad mood with me, not now.
He heard me, leaned over, saw me, and said, real friendly-like, “Oh, it’s you, Brandy. Come on in if you like.”
So I waltzed in, then stopped dead. In front of Arnie on the desk was a briefcase that musta contained hundreds of doses of the juice at the very least.
He saw my look, and smiled, real amused. “Yeah. Impressive, isn’t it? Just out of curiosity, what would you do if I gave this case to you? Just a pretend question, you understand.”
I thought about it. What would I do? My answer was the point of his question. “Nothin’, Mr. Siegel. Jes’ stash it and keep on goin’.”
Even if I had an unlimited supply with no strings, it wouldn’t matter. I just had no place to go that was better than what I had now, ’specially after bein’ down so far. That other one, she might just use it right, but a whore was a whore in every world and it didn’t get no better than I had it right here. “I ain’t got nobody and noplace to go,” I told him.
He grinned and closed the case. “And that’s why you’re here and why you’re my number-one girl now. I can’t trust many people, you know, but I can trust you. You’re somebody I just never have to worry about.”
I felt a real glow of pride at that.
“Originally, we kept you around just because we had to have a backup just in case things went bad, but that’s all over now. Now and for quite a while I’m keeping you for myself, because I can trust you and there’s nothing hidden or phony about you. Speaking of that, you still have any troubles with some of those memories we planted?”
“Yeah, some,” I admitted. Like the past hour.
“Well, we’ve got some doctor’s equipment here that might help that, which we’ve been using the past few months, and the doctor in charge is due back tonight. He put it in there and he can get it out, real quick and painless, just like he got it in. Maybe we’ll have him take a look at you and take advantage of the fact that it’s all here and get rid of her once and for all. I think you’ll be a lot happier.”
“Yes, suh. Whateva’ you say.”
I wasn’t real sure I wanted to lose what I had of her. Just the idea that I coulda done better than I did if I had a few breaks was kinda nice to feel, even if it was too late for me. But I could see Arnie’s point and I didn’t want to say nothin’ against it. A quick session, then I don’t know nothin’ ’bout no other Brandys or this Company or no plots or nothin’, and I wouldn’t wanna know. What you see is what you get. Then I wouldn’t have this naggin’ dirty feelin’ in the back of my head, neither, ’bout nobody gettin’ shot over juice.
We went on down to dinner, with me on my best behavior. I wasn’t none too comfortable at a regular dinner. I never could figure out which fork was what and what you ate with what, but I just sat quiet and followed everybody else’s example. Maybe that doc could teach me some manners with that magic machine of his. ’Course, it wasn’t really needed. The only high roller tricks was white guys who wanted to see if black girls really did it better and they wouldn’t be seen dead in no restaurant with no black woman. Bars, yeah, but not restaurants.
The dinner group was small; just Arnie and me, and Marty, plus two tough-lookin’ hoods named Tommy and Sal who I never seen before. They didn’t seem to be Arnie’s men; I had a hunch this place was gonna have some visits by other big shots in the rackets, like a crime council meetin’. I just smiled pretty, tuned out the men-talk, and passed the peas when asked.
My whole idea about Arnie Siegel was changin’ for the better, though. He weren’t no Hitler type; oh, he might be a crook, even a big-time one, but all that slave horseshit had been to break and set up that other me. Nothin’ personal, strictly business. This Doc Carlos guy didn’t show, though; he seemed to have gone out someplace and didn’t get back yet. Arnie could tell I was horny, so he gave the invite to Tommy and Sal and both of ’em paid me visits later on that night in the room. They was typical hoods; thought they was Mr. Macho and really weren’t even Quickie Delight. After that I gave myself a shot of juice and let it take over. This was earlier than I usually took it, but I had a six-hour window. Thing was, though, I come out of that nice, mellow period about three, maybe four in the mornin’, and I usually didn’t go to sleep until six or so.
This was a little different comedown than usual, though. Things kept goin’ ’round and ’round in my head, and I seemed to see them like pieces in a kid’s jigsaw puzzle. They hadn’t really been there up front before, and might never have been brought up had I been fully awake and aware or most particularly if Marty hadn’t never mentioned the other Brandy goin’ off that mornin’ and got me worried and depressed over it.
Vogel . . . hypnoscan . . . Beth . . . Aldrath . . . The Security Committee at dinner . . . the ambush in the Labyrinth . . . Lindy Crockett . . . the shadow dancers . . . Brandy Two . . . the juice . . . the woman at Siegel’s with the strange perfume . . . “Who won that war, anyway?” . . . Beth again, carryin’ Vogel’s load up to the mine . . . “be they yellow, black, or white, there’s no difference in His sight” . . . “The sensors would detect any raw drug” . . . “the commoners can move to other worlds, and have” . . . “You’re a whore and always will be” . . . Donna feelin’ herself up . . . Beth . . . Beth . . . Beth . . . 
I sat up in bed and my mouth hung open. Them sons of bitches! They done it to me again! And after I swore they couldn’t! Never! And they’d’a got clean away with it, too, if only poor, dumb Marty, who didn’t know what was goin’ on or care so long as he got paid good, hadn’t opened his big mouth and said somethin’ he shouldn’t.
I stopped short. Damn it, they was gonna git ’way with it! I knew what they done and what they was gonna do and why and I couldn’t do a damned thing about it. So tomorrow sometime they was gonna take me down to this Dr. Carlos and give me a hypnoscan like the one I had to become Beth, only this time there wouldn’t be no trigger to let my old self back in. I’d be little Brandy Parker, the dumb, ignorant whore and a kinda trophy to their success, and wouldn’t nobody even look for me since she had my looks, my basic memories, and even my fingerprints and eye patterns. ’Cept’n for Marty’s slip, I wouldn’t even have known at all.
I was so frustrated and angry I wanted to cry, but then I heard voices outside. They was muffled, but you could tell it was a man and a woman and that they wasn’t agreein’ on much. I slipped off the bed and crept to my door, then opened it a crack. The whole place was pitch dark ’cept for a light shinin’ from under the closed door of Arnie’s office at the end of the hall. I was just decidin’ whether or not to get closer—I could always say I was goin’ to the bathroom—when I heard two dull sounds. Thud! Thud! They sounded like gunshots done with a silencer!
I rushed forward, and at that moment the door opened and a dark figure clad in black rushed out the door. The light and the action stunned me for a second, and they run right into me and we both fell down. I heard the clatter of somethin’ fallin’ on the floor, but the other one didn’t stop but was up and away down the stairs in nothin’ flat. I picked myself up and felt around and got it. A pistol! Felt a little light and funny, but it was definitely a pistol. I picked it up and walked into the office and stopped dead in my tracks. Outside there was some yellin’ and screamin’ and the sound of a few unmuffled shots.
Arnie lay lack in the office chair, head cocked, eyes open and glazed over, a little blood tricklin’ from his mouth. There was two neat, red holes in his silk pajamas, and they was gettin’ bigger. Somebody ran up the stairs and reached the edge of the doorway. I turned, nearly forgettin’ the gun in my hand, to see Marty.
“Mr. Siegel! Somebody ju—Jesus Christ!” He saw Arnie, then me. “You dumb broad! You just killed Mr. Siegel!”
“No! Wait! I—” I started, but Marty was goin’ for his gun. Somethin’ suddenly kicked in and took over for me. The whole thing slowed, like it was some kinda slow-motion movie, and as his hand went to his shoulder holster my hand come up with the pistol in it. I had much better reflexes than Marty, and somethin’ else seemed to be controllin’ my actions. I shot Marty dead center in the middle of his forehead. He looked surprised, then kinda puzzled, and I kicked him down and started lookin’ ’round the office. Then I saw it—the black briefcase, off to one side of the desk. I picked it up and started to move. There was still some commotion outside, but nobody else seemed to be comin’ straight in, so I headed for my room and suddenly was thinkin’ again, although on a real supercharged level. I thought ’bout ditchin’ the gun and pretendin’ to be asleep, but I knew that wouldn’t wash. There was no way to hide that briefcase in time, and no way I was gonna part with it short of dyin’. With Arnie dead there’d be a new order around, and I wouldn’t be worth shit to the new guys even if they didn’t blame me for this.
I didn’t waste no time gettin’ dressed. I just threw what I saw into my bag, includin’ the shoes, and put it over my shoulder. I had the briefcase in one hand and the gun in the other. I didn’t know how many more bullets was in that gun, but it was all I had. I opened the door and saw somebody had come in and turned the main room’s lights on. I crept to the top of the stairs, saw two men lookin’ around. One of ’em thought to look up, and I plugged him and then his companion with no thought. That kind of accuracy, when both had guns in their hands, was near impossible. The juice—the juice was readin’ my danger level and forcin’ me to protect it, and me, at any cost!
I made a leap that woulda done Tarzan proud down to the main floor and hit in a crouch without losin’ the case or the bag. I stopped tryin’ to fight the juice, and suddenly I was a killer machine. I had only one thought: escape. I was like some vicious cornered animal, only I knew the layout and I knew the gun and I knew the only way out I could go.
I made my way back to the kitchen area, then peered outside. It was real dark, but the glow from the house lights lit it up some. Two guards, one with a rifle, was out there arguin’ and pointin’—at the Labyrinth.
It was on, right full, all them cubelike shapes dancin’ and changin’ and ready for use. No way to make any kinda run, so I just held the pistol at my side and walked through the backdoor onto the porch. They turned and their guns come up.
“Hey, boys!” I called to them. “What de hell goin’ on, anyways?”
One of ’em cussed but they both relaxed, and then I shot ’em both down with my eyes at more than thirty feet and jumped down onto the lawn. Somebody come at me right then, and I swung the briefcase and caught him on the head, then kicked him hard with my foot. He fell back and doubled over.
There was another one near the Labyrinth I didn’t see, and he made right for me. He musta been six three and three hundred pounds and yet so fast I didn’t even have time to use the gun. I dropped the briefcase and then kicked him, grabbed him, and brought both my arms, with gun, down on his head so fast I ain’t never gonna know what I did or how. I was now only a few feet from the fence, but I couldn’t go yet. I had to drop that case and wasn’t no way I was goin’ without it even if they shot me dead.
I made for it, got it, then looked up and saw a man on the back porch, framed by the house lights, gun held steady by both hands. There was no way I could figure on scoopin’ up the case and gettin’ off more’n a wild shot while he had me cold, but I went for it anyways, hardly lookin’ as I shot him. I turned and looked back to see him fall forward off the porch onto the ground. At that moment I wasn’t one to question luck; I jumped that little fence and ran into the Labyrinth just as it seemed to be slowin’ down and growin’ smaller.
I hit the cube runnin’, then rolled and stopped, then crouched and waited to see if anybody was followin’ me. Instead, I watched the cube face from which I’d entered slowly fade out to black. Only then did I get back my wits and try to think ’bout what to do next.
First I looked at the pistol. No wonder it made that funny noise! It was made outta somethin’ like yellow or gold plastic and you could see a lot of funny works in there. It sure as hell shot somethin’ hard and real, though; those was holes in Arnie, not no ray gun burns or shit like that. That also meant it could run outta bullets anytime. Hell, it might be empty now, but I didn’t dare test it. That test might be my last bullet, too.
I looked next at the briefcase that was life to me. Hell, maybe it was only six months, maybe a year, but it was more’n they tried to give me or woulda if I’d stayed with no Arnie around. I opened the case and felt panic. It wasn’t empty, but it nearly was. Only one of them shrink-wrapped packets of juice cubes was in there. Only one. Panicky as hell, I counted them. Four layers of eight each. A month’s supply. Probably my supply. I still had three in my bag, that meant thirty-five. I had thirty-five days to live.
That meant I had to do somethin’, make some hard decisions, but not right away. More worrisome right off was that somebody back there had helped me escape. The other guys I shot, they all fell backwards like they should, but the guy on the porch, the one who had me cold, had fallen forward. Maybe that killer was still back there, waitin’ for the time to light out for South America or whatever. It was a woman, that was for sure, and I didn’t think she planned to kill Arnie. I really didn’t. She coulda done that nice and quiet. Most likely it was that strange woman at Siegel’s house. That was almost surely Addison, only she didn’t look nothin’ like the sketches that Crockett bitch showed me.
Maybe Arnie’d gotten greedy, or ambitious. He knowed what was up, that’s for sure, but he wouldn’t be more than a small part of it. What had they promised him? That he’d replace Big Georgie as crime boss when they took over? It probably sounded good at the time, but he now knew that was just chicken feed. So maybe, after years of setup, Arnie decides when they begin to roll that he’ll throw some kinda monkey wrench in the machinery and hold out for more. The only, way to know for sure what it was about was to ask Addison, and I was a long way from bein’ able to do that yet.
Now I had only a few choices. First switcher I met, I’d hav’ta give a destination. I was one of them lucky few cleared through to headquarters and it was the logical place to go, but I didn’t want to go there unless I had to. They’d take all my information, all right, but then I’d wind up in the Center. Maybe if I started into withdrawal and there was no other way I’d do that, but so long as I had juice I sure as hell wouldn’t. Requestin’ some destination by description, like Brandy two’s home world, was risky. Them switchers used translators and so many worlds was alike enough to them that they usually got it wrong anyways. Besides, what would that buy me ’cept a month of freelance whorin’? Crazy fact was, the best chance I had was tryin’ to push the case. Get ’em where I could call the tune. I didn’t give a damn if they took over everything or not no more, but I wanted a personal, guaranteed, lifetime supply of juice they couldn’t cut off. It was a lot cheaper price than Arnie probably asked for, and if I was smart about it they wouldn’t dare knock me off.
Yeah, I know, it was crazy to think that they would even bother dealin’ with me with all the power they had, but that’s the thing ’bout bein’ hooked. Still, other than that, it made me very cool and logical. I just had killed my first three people and it didn’t bother me one bit. I had no inhibitions at all. Now I knew. My twin would kill without a thought if it was that or juice. That was my only lead, then, too. If I was wrong, if I hadn’t doped it out right, I was stuck, but if I was right, I had a place to start.
The briefcase didn’t seem worth keepin’, now. I put the packet in my shoulder bag, and the gun, too.
I knew what they done to me, and I kinda guessed why. Brandy Two and I was even more alike than I figured. Oh, she was a whore, all right, but that didn’t mean nothin’ when it came to other interests. She’d still come from a readin’ family and she read real good. She maybe talked better than I did, too; she might have been a higher class hooker by the time they got her than she was supposed to be. That’s why they run her up to Vogel’s place first—to get her brains scrambled a little, the same kinda thing as they did to me. Made her a dumb-ass ignorant slut, then sent her down to Siegel till they could get hold of me. Workin’ the shadow dancer route, bein’ conditioned with slow withdrawal and then suggested to death on the comedown, she was probably all set up as the girl I saw. It’s all they needed from her.
Then I showed up, and I didn’t look the same no more, and for a while I gave ’em the slip before walkin’ right into their hands as I had to sooner or later. This was a patient bunch. They had somethin’ else they was gonna use this other Brandy for, somethin’ I didn’t have worked out yet, but then there I was. Somehow, durin’ that time, they had an extra problem, too. If Sam was dead or still in a coma, then I was all wet, but I bet my last shot of juice that he recovered. Watchin’ me, they had a healthy respect for him, and he wasn’t no easy snatch and switch. More, he’d be a real dangerous enemy ’cause he’d know where I was and sooner or later he’d come and find out, and maybe not alone. So they changed their plans.
And that’s the point I was really guessin’ on. Suppose Vogel’s experimenters found that they could make a juicer do absolutely anything, and I mean anything—even kill. But there was a point, someplace, where even the juice couldn’t force it. Maybe a percentage of folks just couldn’t be made to kill their wives, husbands, or babies. Maybe it was only a few, but it was there no matter what they did, and they needed a Brandy so convincin’ that Sam wouldn’t have no doubts at all—and they wouldn’t, neither. So they had Brandy Two watch me, watch my moves, my mannerisms, my quirks and habits, talk a lot about myself. Maybe she didn’t even know then that she was takin’ it all in, but she was. We was inseparable.
So, when they was ready, maybe when Sam was just due to come home, they took us to Siegel’s estate and stuck us in such a low, degradin’ situation we didn’t even have no track of days or times, just shot to shot. Then, when we was on our juice high, they bring in this Dr. Carlos and he hooks up the hypnoscan to us and he puts that dumb, ignorant slut version in me, probably a real edited version of the real thing, and two triggers. The cards! The crazy things on them cards they had us read! More than enough.
All they had to do was start when we was juicin’ high, keep us out for a full twenty-four hours, then give us the next day’s jolt and let us come out natural. We never woulda knowed we lost a day, not there, and Carlos would have a full day to do real fancy work on both our brains.
So when Brandy Two read her card, bingo! All her old skills and speech and shit come back, just flowin’ in till it dominated the other, and that along with all she’d learned and observed by bein’ closer to me than anybody else could for all that time and a friendly hypno-shove convinced her she was me. At the same time, when I read my card, the Brandy Two lower personality flowed in and my old stuff was shoved to the back. I couldn’t read that card ’cause I’d been cut off from my old skills.
But why not just do a Beth number on me? Make me Brandy Two completely and block off the old me entirely? Maybe ’cause they couldn’t, quite. When Doc Jamispur done it to me at Mayar’s place, he had all the top shit, the best computers and stuff they had. Maybe it took more than a hypnoscan to do it completely. How would I know?
What he done was bad enough. Even I believed it. Forcin’ that Brandy Two personality and cuttin’ the skills—they knew just where to look ’cause they already did it once to her—to be up front. Even if you had the old stuff, you could do what they couldn’t—forget it or push it all the way back till it rotted. Vogel proved that by bringin’ out Beth on the getaway. All he did was talk me into the idea that I was turnin’ back into Beth and I couldn’t fight it, and I was so ignorant of what they done to me and so in awe of their powers that I swallowed it and started becomin’ Beth and trashin’ Brandy. This time they was more clever, ’cause I didn’t know I’d been hypnoscanned, wasn’t ready for it, and when I figured it out they had a real convincin’ reason for me to doubt my own identity. Real convincin’. Still, it was one of their stock tricks, and it had worked on me twice. Woulda worked, too, if Marty just hadn’t shot off his fat mouth and started that old part of me movin’.
Not that it was easy. I knew who I was now, and had my old memories, but Brandy Two was still forward, still in the driver’s seat, and I didn’t have no Center to get her out. I was stuck with that real southern ghetto dialect, had a hard time handlin’ big words, and I wasn’t gonna write no incriminatin’ statements. I needed to take a chance on somebody who could and who might not turn me in.
If that damned twin of mine hadn’t already murdered him.