"Chiang, Ted - Understand" - читать интересную книгу автора (Chiang Ted) Understand
a novelette by Ted Chiang -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ted Chiang writes... The initial impulse to write "Understand" arose from an offhand remark made by my roommate in college; he was reading Sartre's Nausea at the time, whose protagonist finds only meaninglessness in everything he sees. But what would it be like, my roommate wondered, to find meaning and order in everything you saw? To me that suggested a kind of heightened perception, which in turn suggested superintelligence. I also thought about how the differences between human cognition and animal cognition are greater than any test can measure, and I began to wonder what might characterize superhuman cognition. I submitted "Understand" to various magazines but received only form-letter rejection slips, so I put it away. Later, while attending the Clarion writing workshop, I showed it to Spider Robinson, who was convinced I should send it out again. I eventually incorporated the suggestions he made, along with those of Kate Wilhelm and Damon Knight, and was able to sell the story. It won the Asimov's Reader's Choice Award for Best Novelette in 1991, and was a finalist for the Hugo. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A layer of ice; it feels rough against my face, but not cold. I've got nothing to hold on to; my gloves just keep sliding off it. I can see people on top, running around, but they can't do anything. I'm trying to pound the ice with my fists, but my arms move in slow motion, and my lungs must have burst, and my head's going fuzzy, and I feel like I'm dissolving-- I wake up, screaming. My heart's going like a jackhammer. Christ. I pull off my blankets and sit on the edge of the bed. I'm grabbing the down comforter with my fists, and I can feel myself trembling. I try to calm down, to breathe slowly, but sobs keep forcing their way out. It was so real I could feel it: feel what it was like to die. I was in that water for nearly an hour; I was more vegetable than anything else by the time they brought me up. Am I recovered? It was the first time the hospital had ever tried their new drug on someone with so much brain damage. Did it work? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The same nightmare, again and again. After the third time, I know I'm not going to sleep again. I spend the remaining hours before dawn worrying. Is this the result? Am I losing my mind? Tomorrow is my weekly checkup with the resident at the hospital. I hope he'll have some answers. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I drive into downtown Boston, and after half an hour Dr. Hooper can see me. I sit on a gurney in an examining room, behind a yellow curtain. Jutting out of the wall at waist-height is a horizontal flatscreen, adjusted for tunnel vision so it appears blank from my angle. The doctor types at the keyboard, presumably calling up my file, and then starts examining me. As he's checking my pupils with a penlight, I tell him about my nightmares. "Did you ever have any before the accident, Leon?" He gets out his little mallet and taps at my elbows, knees, and ankles. "Never. Are these a side effect of the drug?" "Not a side effect. The hormone K therapy regenerated a lot of damaged neurons, and that's an enormous change that your brain has to adjust to. The nightmares are probably just a sign of that." "Is this permanent?" |
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