"Wilkie Collins - The New Magdalen" - читать интересную книгу автора (Collins Wilkie)

sad story--began to falter once more. She stopped, following silently the
memories and associations roused in her by what she had just said. Had she
forgotten the presence of another person in the room? Grace's curiosity left
Grace no resource but to say a word on her side.
"Who was the man?" she asked. "How did he befriend you?"
"Befriend me? He doesn't even know that such a person as I am is in existence."
That strange answer, naturally enough, only strengthened the anxiety of Grace to
hear more. "You said just now--" she began.
"I said just now that he saved me. He did save me; you shall hear how. One
Sunday our regular clergyman at the Refuge was not able to officiate. His place
was taken by a stranger, quite a young man. The matron told us the stranger's
name was Julian Gray. I sat in the back row of seats, under the shadow of the
gallery, where I could see him without his seeing me. His text was from the
words, 'Joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over
ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance. 'What happier women
might have thought of his sermon I cannot say; there was not a dry eye among us
at the Refuge. As for me, he touched my heart as no man has touched it before or
since. The hard despair melted in me at the sound of his voice; the weary round
of my life showed its nobler side again while he spoke. From that time I have
accepted my hard lot, I have been a patient woman. I might have been something
more, I might have been a happy woman, if I could have prevailed on myself to
speak to Julian Gray."
"What hindered you from speaking to him?"
"I was afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid of making my hard life harder still."
A woman who could have sympathized with her would perhaps have guessed what
those words meant. Grace was simply embarrassed by her; and Grace failed to
guess.
"I don't understand you," she said.
There was no alternative for Mercy but to own the truth in plain words. She
sighed, and said the words. "I was afraid I might interest him in my sorrows,
and might set my heart on him in return." The utter absence of any
fellow-feeling with her on Grace's side expressed itself unconsciously in the
plainest terms.
"You!" she exclaimed, in a tone of blank astonishment.
The nurse rose slowly to her feet. Grace's expression of surprise told her
plainly--almost brutally--that her confession had gone far enough.
"I astonish you?" she said. "Ah, my young lady, you don't know what rough usage
a woman's heart can bear, and still beat truly! Before I saw Julian Gray I only
knew men as objects of horror to me. Let us drop the subject. The preacher at
the Refuge is nothing but a remembrance now--the one welcome remembrance of my
life! I have nothing more to tell you. You insisted on hearing my story--you
have heard it."
"I have not heard how you found employment here," said Grace, continuing the
conversation with uneasy politeness, as she best might.
Mercy crossed the room, and slowly raked together the last living embers of the
fire.
"The matron has friends in France," she answered, "who are connected with the
military hospitals. It was not difficult to get me the place, under those