Shukrat arrived
while I was sleeping, dropping in through the hole in the roof. So
entangled with Shivetya was I now that I knew she was there without
noticing or paying much mind. My friend the white crow came and did
the wake-up dirty deed. I sat up, rewarding the bird with some rude
remark or other.
“Just trying to be helpful. You aren’t leaving me
much to do these days.”
“Funny how being a prisoner reduces your options,
isn’t it? What goes around comes around and all that? But we
can still be friends, can’t we? Hi, cuter daughter. You
finally got here.”
Shukrat was exhausted but game. “So what’s going on,
Pop? Where’s Arkana?”
“Well. Arkana got a wild hair, ran off home and now is
knee-deep in shit.” I explained.
Shukrat’s reaction was, “Yuch!”
“Hey, you could be the most popular girl in town yourself
if you give them the chance.”
“They might try. They’ll be sorry if they do. I
didn’t waste all my time with Tobo playing games. How come
you know all that if she took your key and you can’t go out
poking around?”
“Shivetya and I have been getting to know one another.
There isn’t much else to do around here when you’re
waiting for your slower child to start wondering if you
haven’t maybe gotten yourself into some trouble.”
“I see you did some writing, too.”
“I’m running short on time, daughter,” I said,
revealing a secret never even shared with my wife.
“I’ve had so much luck, for so long, that the law of
averages is overdue to catch up. Any day. There’s only one
risk left that I’m willing to take. So I want to have all my
shit in order before something happens. I want to check out knowing
I did everything the Company could ask, and then some.” My
expectation that I do not have much time left has become an ever
more powerful influence on my thinking since our return from the
Land of Unknown Shadows. It has approached the level of obsession
since I have been back here in the fortress with no name.
Shukrat proceeded with normal, journey-ending business while we
talked, unloading her flying post. She swung down a large hemp sack
that rattled as she said, “Let me get some rest, first, then
we’ll go rescue Scruffy Butt. Not because I give a damn what
they do to her, you understand. Just as a favor to my
Pop.”
“I understand. I appreciate it. Maybe she can do the same
for you, someday.”
“Oh, yeah, that would be good.”
“What’s in the sack?”
She thought about being evasive, realized that there was no
point. “Snail shells. Tobo didn’t want me to travel
unprotected. He worries about me.”
“How is he?”
“He has good days and he has bad days. More bad than good.
In his health and in his mind. It scares me. Nobody can tell me if
he’s going to make it. Or if he’ll be sane if he does.
I’m afraid it might all depend on his mother.”
“What? Sahra turned up?”
“No. She’s definitely dead. I think. But her ghost,
and her mother’s ghost and her grandmother’s ghost,
keep following him wherever he goes. Whenever his fever gets to him
he sees them. And they talk to him. They nag him, he says. He
doesn’t like it. But my opinion is, he damned well ought to
start listening to them. Because he gets these brain fevers every
time he starts to do something that his mother wouldn’t have
liked while she was alive. Even if it’s only something like
forgetting to clean his teeth.”
“You really believe he’s being haunted by his female
ancestors?”
“Doesn’t matter if I do, Pop. He believes it. Even
when he’s fever-free and completely sane he’ll say his
mother intends to stay around until he no longer needs her
guidance. Then she’ll be free to join Murgen. Tobo really
resents the implication that he isn’t mature and his behavior
is keeping her from her rest. And Sahra, apparently, is just as
resentful of his immaturity, because she’d rather be
somewhere besides here baby-sitting a grown man.”
“Why do I get the feeling there’s something
more?”
“Because you’re right. There is more. He thinks
those women might run out of patience. He’s afraid
they’ll just drag him along with them.”
“You mean kill him?”
“No! His mother, Pop. Not kill him. Take him along. Out of
his body. The way they say his father used to do. Only they
wouldn’t let him come back. If that happened his body would
die eventually. And before you tell me Sahra wouldn’t let her
baby die, you need to remember this ghost isn’t the Sahra you
knew. This Sahra has been on the other side for a while, running
with ghosts who have been there a lot longer than she has. And at
least one of those was able to see Tobo’s various potential
futures way back before Murgen and Sahra ever got
together.”
Sounded to me like Shukrat was just as much a believer as Tobo
was.
“All right. Rest, little girl. I’ll come up with a
plan while you do.”
Look at me. Manly man. Older than dirt, limping, one bad eye,
short one hand, reads and writes, but a manly man for all that.
Shukrat arrived
while I was sleeping, dropping in through the hole in the roof. So
entangled with Shivetya was I now that I knew she was there without
noticing or paying much mind. My friend the white crow came and did
the wake-up dirty deed. I sat up, rewarding the bird with some rude
remark or other.
“Just trying to be helpful. You aren’t leaving me
much to do these days.”
“Funny how being a prisoner reduces your options,
isn’t it? What goes around comes around and all that? But we
can still be friends, can’t we? Hi, cuter daughter. You
finally got here.”
Shukrat was exhausted but game. “So what’s going on,
Pop? Where’s Arkana?”
“Well. Arkana got a wild hair, ran off home and now is
knee-deep in shit.” I explained.
Shukrat’s reaction was, “Yuch!”
“Hey, you could be the most popular girl in town yourself
if you give them the chance.”
“They might try. They’ll be sorry if they do. I
didn’t waste all my time with Tobo playing games. How come
you know all that if she took your key and you can’t go out
poking around?”
“Shivetya and I have been getting to know one another.
There isn’t much else to do around here when you’re
waiting for your slower child to start wondering if you
haven’t maybe gotten yourself into some trouble.”
“I see you did some writing, too.”
“I’m running short on time, daughter,” I said,
revealing a secret never even shared with my wife.
“I’ve had so much luck, for so long, that the law of
averages is overdue to catch up. Any day. There’s only one
risk left that I’m willing to take. So I want to have all my
shit in order before something happens. I want to check out knowing
I did everything the Company could ask, and then some.” My
expectation that I do not have much time left has become an ever
more powerful influence on my thinking since our return from the
Land of Unknown Shadows. It has approached the level of obsession
since I have been back here in the fortress with no name.
Shukrat proceeded with normal, journey-ending business while we
talked, unloading her flying post. She swung down a large hemp sack
that rattled as she said, “Let me get some rest, first, then
we’ll go rescue Scruffy Butt. Not because I give a damn what
they do to her, you understand. Just as a favor to my
Pop.”
“I understand. I appreciate it. Maybe she can do the same
for you, someday.”
“Oh, yeah, that would be good.”
“What’s in the sack?”
She thought about being evasive, realized that there was no
point. “Snail shells. Tobo didn’t want me to travel
unprotected. He worries about me.”
“How is he?”
“He has good days and he has bad days. More bad than good.
In his health and in his mind. It scares me. Nobody can tell me if
he’s going to make it. Or if he’ll be sane if he does.
I’m afraid it might all depend on his mother.”
“What? Sahra turned up?”
“No. She’s definitely dead. I think. But her ghost,
and her mother’s ghost and her grandmother’s ghost,
keep following him wherever he goes. Whenever his fever gets to him
he sees them. And they talk to him. They nag him, he says. He
doesn’t like it. But my opinion is, he damned well ought to
start listening to them. Because he gets these brain fevers every
time he starts to do something that his mother wouldn’t have
liked while she was alive. Even if it’s only something like
forgetting to clean his teeth.”
“You really believe he’s being haunted by his female
ancestors?”
“Doesn’t matter if I do, Pop. He believes it. Even
when he’s fever-free and completely sane he’ll say his
mother intends to stay around until he no longer needs her
guidance. Then she’ll be free to join Murgen. Tobo really
resents the implication that he isn’t mature and his behavior
is keeping her from her rest. And Sahra, apparently, is just as
resentful of his immaturity, because she’d rather be
somewhere besides here baby-sitting a grown man.”
“Why do I get the feeling there’s something
more?”
“Because you’re right. There is more. He thinks
those women might run out of patience. He’s afraid
they’ll just drag him along with them.”
“You mean kill him?”
“No! His mother, Pop. Not kill him. Take him along. Out of
his body. The way they say his father used to do. Only they
wouldn’t let him come back. If that happened his body would
die eventually. And before you tell me Sahra wouldn’t let her
baby die, you need to remember this ghost isn’t the Sahra you
knew. This Sahra has been on the other side for a while, running
with ghosts who have been there a lot longer than she has. And at
least one of those was able to see Tobo’s various potential
futures way back before Murgen and Sahra ever got
together.”
Sounded to me like Shukrat was just as much a believer as Tobo
was.
“All right. Rest, little girl. I’ll come up with a
plan while you do.”
Look at me. Manly man. Older than dirt, limping, one bad eye,
short one hand, reads and writes, but a manly man for all that.