"Mary Janice Davidson - Betsy 01 - Undead And Unwed" - читать интересную книгу автора (Davidson Mary Janice)

I had parked my car in a prohibitively expensive ramp and was getting close to Barnes and Noble,
when a filthy, mud-spattered black limousine screeched up beside me. The dogs (there were eight: three
black labs, a corgi, a golden retriever, two enormously fat poodles, and a mutt of indistinct parentage;
they all had collars and were trailing leashes) were startled by the noise, and I took advantage of that to
hiss, тАЬGet lost!тАЭ All of the limoтАЩs doors popped openтАж

тАЬHuh?тАЭ
 тАжand several pairs of hard hands grabbed meтАж

тАЬHey!тАЭ

тАжand stuffed me inside. The door slammed shut, and off we went.

тАЬI knew this would happen,тАЭ I informed my captors. тАЬJust so you know.тАЭ My captorsтАФthere were four,
and they made The Rock look anemic and punyтАФwere all holding large wooden crosses at armтАЩs length
to ward me off. One of them was agitating a small, stoppered bottle, which I took to be holy water. They
were a little tense, but hardly stinking of fear. TheyтАЩd done this before. тАЬWhich one of you fellas called
me?тАЭ

Dead silence.

тАЬWell, okay, be that way, but IтАЩm not scared. Actually, this is sort of bringing me back to prom night.
The rough handling, the over-the-top limo, the sullen dateтАжah, it all comes back.тАЭ

The one directly across from me snorted, but the other three remained Sphinx-like in their immobility.
They all looked like vague clones of one another: broad through the chest, well over six feet tall, with big
hands and big smelly feet. They all needed a shave, and they all had dirty blonde hair and brown eyes,
and smelled like Old Spice mixed with cherry cough syrup.

тАЬAre you guys brothers?тАЭ I asked. Nothing. тАЬWell, then, do you all have cocker spaniels? Because you
know that saying, about how people start to look like their pets after a while? Because you guys look like
cocker spaniels, if spaniels could walk erect and shave most of the hair off of their bodies. And talk.
Assuming you guys talk. Which I shouldnтАЩt assume, because none of you have said a word. ItтАЩs just me
doing all the chatting. Which is fine, I donтАЩt mind carrying the burden of conversation, though itтАЩs just this
sort of thing that drives my stepsmother up a tree. ItтАФтАЭ

тАЬShut up,тАЭ the one on the end said.

I folded my arms across my chest. тАЬMake me,тАЭ I said, fearlessly if immaturely.

The spaniel on the end leaned and shoved his cross closer to me. I toyed with the idea of grabbing it,
breaking it into a thousand toothpicks, and using one of the toothpicks to clean my teeth, but a) there
wasnтАЩt anything in my teeth, b) it seemed vaguely disrespectful to the cross, and c) I didnтАЩt want to tip my
hand. They were holding crosses and holy water and they felt safe. I was in no hurry to disabuse them of
their quaint notions about vampires.

As I decided this, I realized the spaniel was still brandishing his cross about four inches from the end of
my nose. тАЬNo, ah, no, please, it burns,тАЭ I said politely. And stopped talking, which is what they seemed
to prefer. Well, it was nothing to me. I decided to enjoy the scenery.