"de Camp, L Sprague - Two Yards of Dragon UC" - читать интересную книгу автора (De Camp L Sprague)

"Aye. The scheme had better work, or we shall find ourselves choosing betwixt starving and seeking employment as collectors of offal or diggers of ditches. Assuming, that is, that in this reeky place they even bother to collect offal."
"Master Eudoric!" said Jillo. "Ye would not really lower yourself to accept menial wage labor?"
"Sooner than starve, aye. As Helvolius the philosopher said, no rider wears sharper spurs than Necessity."
"But if 'twere known at home, they'd hack off your gilded spurs, break your sword over your head, and degrade you to base varlet!"
"Well, till now I've had no knightly spurs to hack off, but only the plain silvered ones of an esquire. For the rest, I count on you to see that they don't find out. Now go to sleep and cease your grumbling."
The next day found Eudoric and Jillo deep into the Motolian Forest. At the noonday halt, Jillo kindled a fire. Eudoric made a small torch of a stick whose end was wound with a rag soaked in bacon fat. Then he loaded the device as he had been shown how to do and fired three balls at a mark on a tree. The third time, he hit the mark squarely, although the noise caused the paifreys frantically to tug and rear.
They remounted and went on to where they had met the dragon. Jillo rekindled the torch, and they cast up and down the beast's trail. For two hours they saw no wildlife save a fleeing sow with a farrow of piglets and several huge snails with boulder-sized shells.
Then the horses became unruly. "Methinks they scent our quarry," said Eudoric.
When the riders themselves could detect the odor and the horses became almost unmanageable, Eudoric and Jillo dismounted.
"Tie the nags securely," said Eudoric. "'Twould never do to slay our beast and then find that our horses had fled, leaving us to drag this land cockadrill home afoot."
As if in answer, a deep grunt came from ahead. While Jillo secured the horses, Eudoric laid out his new equipment and methodically loaded his piece.
"Here it comes," said Eudoric. "Stand by with that torch. Apply it not ere I give the word!"
The dragon came in sight, plodding along the trail and swinging its head from side to side. Having just shed its skin, the dragon gleamed in a reticular pattern of green and black, as if it had been freshly painted. Its great, golden, slit-pupiled eyes were now keen.
The horses screamed, causing the dragon to look up and speed its approach.
"Ready?" said Eudoric, setting the device in its rest.
"Aye, sir. Here goeth!" Without awaiting further command, Jillo applied the torch to the touchhole.
With a great boom and a cloud of smoke, the device discharged, rocking Eudoric back a pace. When the smoke cleared, the dragon was still rushing upon them, unharmed.
"Thou idiot!" screamed Eudoric. "I told thee not to give fire until I commanded! Thou hast made me miss it clean!"
"I'm s-sorry, sir. I was palsied with fear. What shall we do now?"
"Run, fool!" Dropping the device, Eudoric turned and fled.
Jillo also ran. Eudoric tripped over a root and fell sprawling. Jillo stopped to guard his fallen master and turned to face the dragon. As Eudoric scrambled up, Jillo hurled the torch at the dragon's open maw.
The throw fell just short of its target. It happened, however, that the dragon was just passing over the bag of black powder in its charge. The whirling torch, descending in its flight beneath the monster's head, struck this sack.
BOOM!
When the dragon hunters returned, they found the dragon writhing in its death throes. Its whole underside had been blown open, and blood and guts spilled out.
"Well!" said Eudoric, drawing a long breath. "That is enough knightly adventure to last me for many a year. Fall to; we must flay the creature. Belike we can sell that part of the hide that we take not home ourselves."
"How do ye propose to get it back to Liptai? Its hide alone must weigh in the hundreds."
"Vie shall hitch the dragon's tail to our two nags and lead them, dragging it behind. 'Twill be a weary swink, but we must needs recover as much as we can to recoup our losses."
An hour later, blood-spattered from head to foot, they were still
struggling with the vast hide. Then, a man in forester's garb, with a
large gilt medallion on his breast, rode up and dismounted. He was a
big, rugged-looking man with a rat-trap mouth.
"Who slew this beast, good my sirs?" he inquired.
Jillo spoke: "My noble master, the squire Eudoric Dambertson here. He is the hero who hath brought this accursed beast to book."
"Be that sooth?" said the man to Eudoric.
"Well, ah," said Eudoric, "I must not claim much credit for the deed."
"But ye were the slayer, yea? Then, sir, ye are under arrest."
"What? But wherefore?"
"Ye shall see." From his garments, the stranger produced a length of cord with knots at intervals. With this he measured the dragon from nose to tail. Then the man stood up again.
"To answer your question, on three grounds: imprimis, for slaying a dragon out of lawful season; secundus, for slaying a dragon below the minimum size permitted; and teTtius, for slaying a female dragon, which is protected the year round."
"You say this is a female?"
"Aye, 'tis as plain as the nose on your face."
"How does one tell with dragons?"
"Know, knave, that the male bath small horns behind the eyes, the which this specimen patently lacks."
"Who are you, anyway?" demanded Eudoric.
"Senior game warden Voytsik of Prath, at your service. My credentials." The man fingered his medallion. "Now, show me your licenses, pray!"
"Licenses?" said Eudoric blankly.
"Hunting licenses, oaf!"
"None told us that such were required, sir," said Jillo.
"Ignorance of the law is no pretext; ye should have asked. That makes four counts of illegality."
Eudoric said, "But why-why in the name of the God and Goddess-"