"de Camp, L Sprague - Two Yards of Dragon UC" - читать интересную книгу автора (De Camp L Sprague)

"They turned me away at the door," reported Jillo. "They told me that the learned doctor had never heard of us."
As the import of this news sank in, Eudoric cursed and beat the wall in his rage. "That filthy, treacherous he-witch! He gets me to sign that power of attorney; then, when he has my property in his grubby paws, he conveniently forgets about us! By the God and Goddess, if ever I catch him-"
"Here, here, what's all this noise?" said the jailer. "Ye disturb the other prisoners?'
V/hen Jillo explained the cause of his master's outrage, the jailer laughed. "Why, everyone knows that Raspiudus i~s the worst skinflint and treacher in Velitchovo! Had ye asked me, I'd have warned you."
"Why has none of his victims slain him?" asked Eudoric.
"We are a law-abiding folk, sir. We do not permit private persons to indulge their feuds on their own, and we have some most ingenious penalties for homicide."
"Mean ye," said Jillo, "that amongst you Pathenians a gentleman may not avenge an insult by the gage of battle?"
"Of course not! We are not bloodthirsty barbarians."
"Ye mean there are no true gentlemen amongst you," sniffed Jillo. "Then, Master Tiolkhof," said Eudoric, calming himself by force of will, "am I stuck here for a year and more?"
"Aye, but ye may get time off for good behavior at the end-three or four days, belike."
When the jailer had gone, Jillo said, "When ye get out, Master, ye must needs uphold your honor by challenging this runagate to the trial of battle, to the death."
Eudoric shook his head. "Heard you not what Tiolkhof said? They deem dueling barbarous and boil the duelists in oil, or something equally entertaining. Anyway, Raspiudus could beg off on grounds of age. We must, instead, use what wits the Holy Couple gave us. I wish now that I'd sent you back to Liptai to fetch our belongings and never meddled with his rolypoly sorcerer."
"True, but how could ye know, dear Master? I should probably have bungled the task in any case, what with my ignorance of the tongue and all."
After another fortnight, King Vladmor of Pathenia died. V/hen his son Yogor ascended the throne, he declared a general amnesty for all crimes lesser than murder. Thus Eudoric found himself out in the street again, but without horse, armor, weapons, or money beyond a few marks.
"Jillo," he said that night in their mean little cubicle, "we must needs get into Raspiudus' house somehow. As we saw this afternoon, 'tis a big place with a stout, high wall around it."
"An ye could get a supply of that black powder, we could blast a breach in the wall."
"But we have no such stuff, nor means of getting it, unless we raid the royal armory, which I do not think we can do."
"Then how about climbing a tree near the wall and letting ourselves down by ropes inside the wall from a convenient branch?"
"A promising plan, if there were such an overhanging tree. But there isn't, as you saw as well as I when we scouted the place. Let me think. Raspiudus must have supplies borne into his stronghold from time to time. I misdoubt his wizardry is potent enough to conjure foodstuffs out of air."
"Mean ye that we should gain entrance as, say, a brace of chicken farmers with eggs to sell?"
"Just so. But nay, that won't do. Raspiudus is no fool. Knowing of this amnesty that enlarged me, he'll be on the watch for such a trick. At least, so should I be, in his room, and I credit him with no less wit than mine own. . . . I have it! What visitor would logically be likely to call upon him now, whom he will not have seen for many a year and whom he would hasten to welcome?"
"That I know not, sir."
"Who would wonder what had become of us and, detecting our troubles in his magical scryglass, would follow upon our track by uncanny means?"
"Oh, ye mean Doctor Baldonius!"
"Aye. My whiskers have grown nigh as long as his since last I shaved. And we're much of a size."
"But I never heard that your old tutor could fly about on an enchanted broomstick, as some of the mightiest magicians are said to do."
"Belike he can't, but Doctor Raspiudus wouldn't know that."
"Mean ye," said Jillo, "that ye've a mind to play Doctor Baldonius? Or to have me play him? The latter would never do."
"I know it wouldn't, good my Jillo. You know not the learned pat. ter proper to wizards and other philosophers."
"Won't Raspiudus know you, sir? As ye say he's a shrewd old villain."
"He's seen me but once, in that dark, dank cell, and that for a mere quarter hour. You he's never seen at all. Methinks I can disguise myself well enough to befool him-unless you have a better no. tion."
"Alack, I have none! Then what part shall I play?"
"I had thought of going in alone."
"Nay, sir, dismiss the thought! Me let my master risk his mortal
body and immortal soul in a witch's lair without my being there to help him!"
"If you help me the way you did by touching off that firearm whilst our dragon was out of range-"
"Ah, but who threw the torch and saved us in the end? What disguise shall I wear?"
"Since Raspiudus knows you not, there's no need for any. You shall be Baldonius' servant, as you are mine."
"Ye forget, sir, that if Raspiudus knows me not, his gatekeepers might. Forsooth, they're likely to recall me because of the noisy protests I made when they barred me out."
"Hm. Well, you're too old for a page, too lank for a bodyguard, and too unlearned for a wizard's assistant. I have it! You shall go as my concubine!"
"Oh, Heaven above, sir, not that! I am a normal man! I should never live it down!"

To the massive gate before Raspiudus' house came Eudoric, with a patch over one eye, and his beard, uncut for a month, dyed white. A white wig cascaded down from under his hat. He presented a note, in a plausible imitation of Baldonius' hand, to the gatekeeper:

Doctor Baldonius of Treveria presents his compliments to his old friend and colleague Doctor Raspiudus of Velitchovo, and begs the favor of an audience to discuss the apparent disappearance of two young protщgщs of his.

A pace behind, stooping to disguise his stature, slouched a rouged and powdered Jillo in woman's dress. If Jillo was a homely man, he made a hideous woman, least as far as his face could be seen under the headcloth. Nor was his beauty enhanced by the dress, which Eudoric had stitched together out of cheap cloth. The garment looked like what it was: the work of a rank amateur at dressmaking.
"My master begs you to enter," said the gatekeeper.
"Why, dear old Baldonius!" cried Raspiudus, rubbing his hands together. "Ye've not changed a mite since those glad, mad days at Saalingen! Do ye still string verses?"
"Ye've withstood the ravages of time well yourself, Raspiudus," said Eudoric, in an imitation of Baldonius' voice. "'As fly the years,