"Paul Di Filippo - Weeping Walls" - читать интересную книгу автора (Di Filippo Paul)

Paul Di Filippo was custom-made for an anthology like this. With his wit and wild invention, evidenced in
wacky books as The Steampunk Trilogy and Lost Pages (in which a costumed Franz KafkaтАФyes, I said
KafkaтАФroams the night of Manhattan as the avenger Jackdaw) he's proved himself an able postpunk success
the likes of the great Philip Jose Farmer.
His story for this book is one of those I d point to when asked what I was looking for for RedshiftтАФit's
hilarious, and viciously apt.
If you don't think the media is really heading this wayтАФthink again.


Weeping Walls
Paul Di Filippo

"I want those fucking teddy bears, and I want them yesterday 1 ." Lisa Dutch bellowed
the telephone as if denouncing Trotsky in front of Stalin. Tectonic emotions threate
to fracture the perfect makeup landscaping the compact features of her astound-ingly inno
yet vaguely insane face. Eruptions of sweat beaded the cornsilk-fme blond hairs lay
alongside her delicate ears.
Seeking her attention, Jake Pasha was waving a folded newspaper under Lisa's charmi
pert nose and toothpaste-blue eyes, and this impudence from her assistant infuriated her
more. She glared at Jake like a wrathful goddess, Kali in a Donna Karan suit, butтАФaside
swatting the paper awayтАФshe chose to vent her evil temper only on the hapless vendor hol
down the other end of her conversation.
"Listen, shithead! You promised me those goddamn bears for early-last week, and th
not here yet. Do you have any idea how many orders I'm holding up for those bears? I r
time-sensitive business here. We're talking thousands of bereaved husbands and w
mourning parents and red-eyed grandparents, all hanging fire. They can't process their g
thanks to your goddamn incompentence. Not to mention the fucking kids! You can't find
nose'? Are you fucking crazy"? Oh, the bears' noses! Well, I don't care if you draw
goddamn noses on by hand with a racking pen! Just get me those motherfucking bears!"
Lisa smashed the phone into its plastic cradle, where fractures revealed a history of
stresses. Now she was free to concentrate on her assistant.
"Unless you stop shoving that paper into my face this instant, Jake, I will tear y
brand-new asshole. And while your boyfriends might well enjoy that feature, I guarantee th
will make wearing your thong at the beach an utter impossibility."
Jake stepped warily back from Lisa's desk and nervously brushed a fall of wheat-col
hair off his broad brow. "My God, Lisa, you don't have to be such a frightening bitch with
I'm already scared every morning when I walk through the door of this madhouse! Anyw
was just trying to do my job."
Lisa visibly composed herself, her stormy expression ceding to a professional mas
good-natured calm. She forced out an apology that evidently tasted sour. "I'm sorry. But t
vendors drive me nuts. Our whole business relies on them, and they're nothing but a bunc
sleazy asswipes. Balloons, stuffed animals, flowers, wreaths, banners, can
suncatchersтАФyou'd think the people who sold such things would be nice, maybe New A
people. But they're not. You know who the most up-front guys are? The construction guys.
enough manners to fill a thimble, but if they can't deliver a wall, they let you know right a
They don't string you along like these other pricks."
 "Be that as it may, dear, you've got something a tad more crucial to worry about now."
flourished the newspaper in a less aggressive manner, and Lisa took it from him. Folded
to the business section, the paper glibly offered its salient headline: