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THE THREE STIGMATA OF PALMER ELDRITCH


by Philip K. Dick




Copyright й 1964 by Philip K. Dick

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the United States by Vintage Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, and simultaneously in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto. Originally published by Doubleday & Co., Inc., New York, in 1977.
Reprinted by arrangement with Doubleday and Company, Inc.

ISBN 0-8398-2479-3

First Vintage Books edition, November 1991

For information about the Philip K. Dick Society, write to:
PKDS, Box 611, Glen Ellen, CA 95442.





THE THREE STIGMATA OF PALMER ELDRITCH


I mean, after all; you have to consider weТre only made out of dust. ThatТs admittedly not much to go on and we shouldnТt forget that. But even considering, I mean itТs a sort of bad beginning, weТre not doing too bad. So I personally have faith that even in this lousy situation weТre faced with we can make it. You get me?

ЦFrom an interoffice audio-memo
circulated to Pre-Fash level
consultants at Perky Pat Layouts, Inc.,
dictated by Leo Bulero immediately
on his return from Mars.




ONE

His head unnaturally aching, Barney Mayerson woke to find himself in an unfamiliar bedroom in an unfamiliar conapt building. Beside him, the covers up to her bare, smooth shoulders, an unfamiliar girl slept on, breathing lightly through her mouth, her hair a tumble of cotton-like white.
IТll bet IТm late for work, he said to himself, slid from the bed, and tottered to a standing position with eyes shut, keeping himself from being sick. For all he knew he was several hoursТ drive from his office; perhaps he was not even in the United States. However, he was on Earth; the gravity that made him sway was familiar and normal.
And there in the next room by the sofa a familiar suitcase, that of his psychiatrist Dr. Smile.
Barefoot, he padded into the living room, and seated himself by the suitcase; he opened it, clicked switches, and turned on Dr. Smile. Meters began to register and the mechanism hummed. УWhere am I?Ф Barney asked it. УAnd how far am I from New York?Ф That was the main point. He saw now a clock on the wall of the aptТs kitchen; the time was 7:30 A.M. Not late at all.
The mechanism which was the portable extension of Dr. Smile, connected by micro-relay to the computer itself in the basement level of BarneyТs own conapt building in New York, the Renown 33, tinnily declared, УAh, Mr. Bayerson.Ф
УMayerson,Ф Barney corrected, smoothing his hair with fingers that shook.
УWhat do you remember about last night?Ф Now he saw, with intense physical aversion, half-empty bottles of bourbon and sparkling water, lemons, bitters, and ice cube trays on the sideboard in the kitchen.
УWho is this girl?Ф
Dr. Smile said, УThe girl in the bed is Miss Rondinella Fugate. Roni, as she asked you to call her.Ф
It sounded vaguely familiar, and oddly, in some manner, tied up with his job. УListen,Ф he said to the suitcase, but then in the bedroom the girl began to stir; at once he shut off Dr. Smile and stood up, feeling humble and awkward in only his underpants.