"Thomas M. Disch - The Businessman" - читать интересную книгу автора (Disch Thomas M)permission of Farrar, Straus and Giroux, Inc.
THE BUSINESSMAN. Copyright 1984 by Thomas M. Disch. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address Harper & Row, Publishers, Inc., 10 East 53rd Street, New York, N.Y. 10022. Published simultaneously in Canada by Fitzhenry & Whiteside Limited, Toronto. The issue always and at bottom is spiritual. - DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER CHAPTER 1 When she awoke she did not realize for some time where she was. Then it sank in - not tell. Not by the sight of her eyes, or by any spiritual analog of sight, for how can there be sight where no light enters? Nor was there any tingle of fleshy consciousness in limbs or loins, in heart or mouth. Her body was here in the coffin _with_ her, and in some way she was still linked to its disintegrating proteins, but it wasn't through her body's senses she knew these things. There was only this suspended sphere of self-awareness beyond which she could discern certain dim essentials of the earth immuring her - a dense, moist, intricated mass pierced with constellations of forward-inching hungers, nodules of intensity against a milky radiance of calm bacterial transformation. _The worms crawl in_ - she remembered the rhyme from childhood. _The worms crawl out. The worms play pinochle on your snout_. How long would this go on? The question framed itself coolly, without triggering alarms. Ghosts - such ghosts as she had ever heard of - were supposed to be free to range where they would. Were said to flit. Whereas she remained attached, by some sort of psychic gravity, to this inert carcass, in which even the process of decay was impeded by the chemicals that had been pumped into it. Almost as the question was formed, the answer existed within her sphere of sentience. Her thinking self would go on thinking . . . indefinitely. Not "forever." Forever remained as unfathomable and foggy an idea as it had been when she was alive. She knew, too, that she would not always be confined to her corpse's coffin, that a time would come when she'd be able to slip loose from the clinging raiment of flesh to flit at liberty like other ghosts. |
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