"Thomas M. Disch M. - Come to Venus Melancholy" - читать интересную книгу автора (Disch Thomas M)

COME TO VENUS
MELANCHOLY
Thomas M. Disch




Is that you, John? Did someone just come in the door? Of
course, it wouldnтАЩt be John. Not after all this time. It was because I
was startled I said that. If youтАЩre there, whoever you are, do you
mind if I talk to you?
And if youтАЩre not there?
Then I suppose youтАЩll mind even less.
Maybe it was just the wind. Can the wind lift a latch? Maybe
the latch is broken. Though it feels all right now. Or maybe IтАЩm
hallucinating. ThatтАЩs what happened, you know, in the classic
sense-deprivation experiments. But I guess my case is different. I
guess theyтАЩve rigged me up some way so that canтАЩt happen.
Or maybeтАФChrist, I hope not! Maybe one of those hairy
caterpillar things has got inside. I really couldnтАЩt stand
thatтАФthinking of the whole house, thinking of me, crawling with
those things. IтАЩve always hated bugs. So if you donтАЩt mind, IтАЩll close
the door.
Have you been trying to talk to me? I should have told you
itтАЩs no use. I canтАЩt hear and I canтАЩt see. IтАЩm broken. Do you see,
there in the larger room, in each corner, about five feet from the
floor, how theyтАЩve been smashed? My eyes and ears. CanтАЩt they be
fixed somehow? If itтАЩs only a matter of vacuum tubes and
diaphragms, there should be things of that sort downstairs. IтАЩm
opening the trapdoor nowтАФdo you see? And IтАЩve turned the lights
on in the storeroom.
Oh hell, whatтАЩs the use?
I mean youтАЩre probably not there, and even if you are, he
probably thought to smash any spare tubes that were left. He
thought of everything else.
Ah, but he was so handsome, he was really so handsome. He
wasnтАЩt tall. After all, the ceiling here isnтАЩt much over six feet. But
he was well-proportioned. He had deep-set eyes and a low brow.
Sometimes, when he was worried or puzzled, he looked positively
neanderthal.
John George Clay, that was his name. It sounds like part of a
poem, doesnтАЩt it? John George Clay.
It wasnтАЩt so much his featuresтАФit was his manner. He took
himself so seriously. And he was so dumb. It was that
combinationтАФthe earnestness and the stupidityтАФthat got to me. A
sort of maternity syndrome I guess youтАЩd call it. After all, I couldnтАЩt
very well be his wife, could I?
 Oh, when I thinkтАж
Excuse me, I must be boring you. IтАЩm sure you canтАЩt be that
interested in a machineтАЩs love life. Perhaps I could read something