"Thomas M. Disch M. - Come to Venus Melancholy" - читать интересную книгу автора (Disch Thomas M)

Indeed he didnтАЩt. John had a strange and fixed distaste for
that wonderful poem, which is probably the finest in the language.
He was, I think, jealous of it. It was a part of me he could never
possess, even though I was his slave in so many other ways. Or is
тАЬhousekeeperтАЭ a more polite expression?
I tried to explain the more difficult parts to him, the
mythology and the exotic words, but he didnтАЩt want to understand.
He made fun of it. He had a way of saying the lines that made
them seem ridiculous. Mincingly, like this:


Come, pensive Nun, devout and pure,
Sober, steadfast, and demure.


When heтАЩd do that, IтАЩd just ignore him. IтАЩd recite it to myself.
HeтАЩd usually leave the house then, even if it was night. He knew I
worried myself sick when he was away. He did it deliberately. He
had a genius for cruelty.
I suppose youтАЩre wondering if it worked both waysтАФwhether
he loved me. The question must have occurred to you. IтАЩve given it
quite a lot of thought myself, and IтАЩve come to the conclusion that
he did. The trouble was he didnтАЩt know how to express it. Our
relationship was necessarily so cerebral, and cerebration wasnтАЩt
JohnтАЩs forte.
That was the idea behind throwing us together the way they
did. They couldnтАЩt very well send a man off by himself for two
years. HeтАЩd go crazy. Previously theyтАЩd sent married couples, but
the homicide rate was incredible. Something like 30 per cent. ItтАЩs
one thing for a pioneer family to be off by itself in, say, the Yukon.
ItтАЩs something else here. In a social vacuum like this, sex is
explosive.
You see, apart from going out for the slugs and nursing them
in the shed outside, thereтАЩs nothing to do. You canтАЩt build out here.
Things just sort of sink into the mud unless, like me, theyтАЩre built
like a houseboat. You canтАЩt grow thingsтАФincluding children. ItтАЩs a
biologistтАЩs paradise, but they need hundreds of slug stations and
there arenтАЩt biologists available in that quantity. Besides, all the good
biologists are in Venusburg, where thereтАЩs research facilities. The
problem then is to find the minimum number of personnel that
can man a station for two years of idleness without exploding. The
solution is one man and one cyborg.
Though not, as you can see, an infallible solution. I tried to
kill him, you know. It was a silly thing to do. I regret it now.
But IтАЩd rather not talk about it, if you donтАЩt mind.


YouтАЩve been here two days nowтАФfancy that!
Excuse me for keeping to myself so long, but I had a sudden,
acute attack of self-consciousness, and the only cure for that is