"Gardner Dozois - A Special Kind of Morning" - читать интересную книгу автора (Dozois Gardner)

I edged cautiously toward it. The null swayed, but remained motionless.
Below, I could see the vacvan at the bottom of the bluff, a patch of dull
gunmetal sheen. I stretched my hand out slowly. The null didn't move.
This close, I could see its gaunt ribs rising and falling with the effort of its
ragged breathing. It was trembling, an occasional convulsive spasm
shuddering along its frame. I was surprised that it didn't stink; nulls were
rumored to have a strong personal odor, at least according to the talk in
field campsтАФbullshit, like so much of my knowledge at that time. I
watched it for a minute, fascinated, but my training told me I couldn't
stand out here for long; we were too exposed. I took another step, reached
out for it, hesitated. I didn't want to touch it. Swallowing my distaste, I
selected a spot on its upper arm free of burns or wounds, grabbed it firmly
with one hand.

The null jerked at the touch, but made no attempt to strike out or get
away. I waited warily for a second, ready to turn my grip into a wrestling
hold if it should try to attack. It remained still, but its flesh crawled under
my fingers, and I shivered myself in reflex. Satisfied that the null would
give me no trouble, I turned and began to force it upslope, pushing it
ahead of me.

It followed my shove without resistance, until we hit the first of the
night shrubs, then it staggered and made a mewing, inarticulate sound.
The plants were burning it, sucking warmth out of its flesh, raising fresh
welts, ugly where bits of skin had adhered to the shrubs. I shrugged,
pushed it forward. It mewed and lurched again. I stopped. The null's eyes
tracked in my direction, and it whimpered to itself in pain. I swore at
myself for wasting time, but moved ahead to break a path for the null,
dragging it along behind me. The branches slapped harmlessly at my
warmsuit as I bent them aside; occasionally one would slip past and lash
the null, making it flinch and whimper, but it was spared the brunt of it. I
wondered vaguely at my motives for doing it. Why bother to spare
someone (something, I corrected nervously) pain when you're going to
have to kill him (it) in a minute? What difference could it make? I shelved
that and concentrated on the movements of my body; the null wasn't
heavy, but it wasn't easy to drag it uphill either, especially as it'd stumble
and go down every few yards and I'd have to pull it back to its feet again. I
was soon sweating, but I didn't care, as the action helped to occupy my
mind, and I didn't want to have to face the numbness I could feel taking
over again.

We moved upslope until we were about thirty feet above the trench
occupied by Heynith and Goth. This looked like a good place. The shrubs
were almost chest-high here, tall enough to hide the null's body from an
aerial search. I stopped. The null bumped blindly into me, leaned against
me, its breath coming in rasps next to my ear. I shivered in horror at the
contact. Gooseflesh blossomed on my arms and legs, swept across my
body. Some connection sent a memory whispering at my mind, but I
ignored it under the threat of rising panic. I twisted my shoulder under
the null's weight, threw it off. The null slid back downslope a few feet,