"Kerr,.Katharine.&.Martin.H.Greenberg.-.Enchanted.Forests.V2" - читать интересную книгу автора (Dragon Stories)

patched over and over again, stained with berry juice and with
mice peeking out of the pocketsЧmaking him wonder if the
woman's hair actually had been done by rats, instead of just
looking that way. If a couple popped their noses out then and
there, he wouldn't have been surprised.

The dead giveaway, however, was the dialogue. No peasant
woman spoke like that. Being a peasant himself, Conrad had
been around enough to know. Peasant women Just said, "Mor-
nin', boy. What's the problem?" then spat on the ground
forpunctuation.

22 Kevin Andrew Mm-pky

He tried to remember his grandmother's tales and recall the
proper form of address for a witch: "Prithee, good dame ..."

The witch looked at him expectantly.

"Grandame ..." he tried.

The witch continued to look at him, smiling.

Conrad kicked a rock off into the grass at the side of the road.
"Listen, lady, why don't you just turn me into a toad and get it
over with, okay? I'm in no mood for this."

The witch smiled. "My, the world has shat upon you, young
sir. Shat upon you most mightily. Tell me, child, what has tran-
spired, and how for did you come to this sorry pass of circum-
stance."

Conrad looked at her and sighed. "You obviously don't listen
to the Royal Proclamations, grandma. I'm a woodcutter. This,"
he said, taking the ax from his belt and flourishing it, "is a
woodcutter's ax. Except the King decided that everyone who
cuts wood in the Royal Woods needs a woodcutter's permit. Ex-
cept the permit costs more man I make in a year. So the only
choice I have is to starve, or to poach wood from the Royal
Woods. And if I get caught poachingЧand that's an easy thing
to do, since it's easy for the King's bailiffs to find a woodcutter
who's selling wood without a permitЧthen I get arrested and
have to work off my sentence doing guess what? Chopping wood
in the Royal Woods. And once I'm paroled, I'll have no trade,
and a criminal record, so I'll have no choice but to get arrested
again so I won't starve." Conrad spat on the ground. "The King's
slick as a slug in a grease pit."

The witch leered. "Slicker, in fact. That plot is worthy of the
Prince of Darkness himself."