"George Alec Effinger - The Zork Chronicles" - читать интересную книгу автора (Effinger George Alec)

CHAPTER ONE
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
тАФ Will Rogers

Now, Glorian isn't the hero of this tale, not in the sense of the guy who carries the broadsword and
takes all the risks. In fact, the authentic hero, Mirakles of the Elastic Tendon (at least, that's the best way
of rendering his epithet into English) was having a little trouble finding his way through a deep, dark,
mysterious forest. Gloomy, threatening woods were nothing new to Mirakles, of course, so he wasn't yet
getting the least bit uneasy. He was just getting bored, which was one of the occupational hazards of the
broadsword-toting caste when there was nothing nearby to hack and hew. Mirakles had been through all
this before; he was certain that sooner or later a giant bat or something would cross his path.
How would a great poet like Homer or Byron describe Mirakles? It's impossible to say, naturally,
but we could make a modest beginning by mentioning that in the physique department it would have
taken at least two of the Greek or Trojan warriors to be his equal. Say, Achilles and Ajax together, and
you could have a little change back. That's how huge and strong Mirakles' arms were, that's how
barrel-chested he was, how broad and great his back, how powerful his legs. And he was of fine
features, too, for a wandering swordsman тАФ after all, was he not the son of Desiphae, queen of the
Sunless Grotto?
And we haven't even mentioned his sword yet. Let's talk about that for a moment. When Mirakles
was but a stripling, his father, King Hyperenor, passed on to the boy a mighty weapon that had been in
their family for centuries. "Take this blade and guard it well," said the king, "because it will always stand
you in good stead. It is the fabled sword Redthirst. Its edge is keen and fashioned with a magic that has
nothing to do with hammer and anvil. The steel is guarded by sorcerous incantations, and you will never
be defeated in battle so long as you remember three things."
"What three things are they, Father?" asked young Mirakles, stricken with awe by the terrible
beauty of Redthirst.
"Your mother knows. Before you slay your first dragon or band of brigands, talk to her. Now go
away. I am an old king, and soon you'll have to take my place, ruling our people wisely, showing up for
strawberry festivals, all that kind of lunacy. This afternoon I think I will put on my ceremonial feather
headdress and go boar hunting all alone without my courtiers and no weapon but a pointed stick."
Mirakles was shocked and for a moment forgot his place. "Father, that's stupid! Why would you
even think about doing such a thing?"
King Hyperenor just gave his young son a sad look. "Another thing you'll learn as you get older is
that this is the way old kings move things along so history can happen."
They looked at each other for a moment, and then Mirakles understood. He gave his father a
strong, manly embrace, took the magic sword Redthirst, and went to find his elusive mother, Queen
Desiphae. Mirakles never saw his father alive again, and on that very day he changed from a headstrong,
impulsive boy into the shrewd, courageous, taciturn hero it had always been his destiny to become.
His mother had been very mysterious when Mirakles questioned her about Redthirst. "The first
secret," she'd told him on that sad, long-ago day, "is that this blade will provide you greater protection
against supernatural and demonic enemies than against mere human villains. Whenever you're in the
presence of a supernatural enemy, the sword will begin to grow warm in your hand and there will be an
aroma as of bread baking."
"Bread baking, Mother?" asked Mirakles, puzzled.
Queen Desiphae waved her hand in dismissal. "All right, it's not very warlike, I admit. I suppose you
wished the sword would shriek aloud or sing to you or something. I'm sorry. You've got to learn to take
what you're given."
Mirakles was duly chastened. "Yes, of course, Mother," he said. "And the other two secrets?"