"Greg Egan - Oceanic" - читать интересную книгу автора (Egan Greg)

Daniel was amused. "If you had the gift of faith, you'd know."




file:///G|/rah/Greg%20Egan%20-%20Oceanic.txt (3 of 39) [2/14/2004 12:21:31 AM]
 file:///G|/rah/Greg%20Egan%20-%20Oceanic.txt

I gazed up into the darkness, troubled. "Do you have to go to the Deep Church, to ask for it
properly?"
"No. Even in the Deep Church, not everyone has invited Beatrice into their hearts. You have
to do it the way it says in the Scriptures: 'like an unborn child again, naked and helpless.тАЩ"
"I was Immersed, wasn't I?"
"In a metal bowl, when you were thirty days old. Infant Immersion is a gesture by the
parents, an affirmation of their own good intentions. But it's not enough to save the child."
I was feeling very disoriented now. My father, at least, approved of Daniel's conversion ...
but now Daniel was trying to tell me that our family's transactions with God had all been grossly
deficient, if not actually counterfeit.
Daniel said, "Remember what Beatrice told Her followers, the last time She appeared? 'Unless
you are willing to drown in My blood, you will never look upon the face of My Mother.тАЩ So they
bound each other hand and foot, and weighted themselves down with rocks."
My chest tightened. "And you've done that?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"Almost a year ago."
I was more confused than ever. "Did Ma and Fa go?"
Daniel laughed. "No! It's not a public ceremony. Some friends of mine from the Prayer Group
helped; someone has to be on deck to haul you up, because it would be arrogant to expect Beatrice
to break your bonds and raise you to the surface, like She did with Her followers. But in the
water, you're alone with God."
He climbed down from his bunk and crouched by the side of my bed. "Are you ready to give your
life to Beatrice, Martin?" His voice sent gray sparks flowing through the darkness.
I hesitated. "What if I just dive in? And stay under for a while?" I'd been swimming off the
boat at night plenty of times, there was nothing to fear from that.
"No. You have to be weighted down." His tone made it clear that there could be no compromise
on this. "How long can you hold your breath?"
"Two hundred tau." That was an exaggeration; two hundred was what I was aiming for.
"That's long enough."
I didn't reply. Daniel said, "I'll pray with you."
I climbed out of bed, and we knelt together. Daniel murmured, "Please, Holy Beatrice, grant
my brother Martin the courage to accept the precious gift of Your blood." Then he started praying
in what I took to be a foreign language, uttering a rapid stream of harsh syllables unlike
anything I'd heard before. I listened apprehensively; I wasn't sure that I wanted Beatrice to
change my mind, and I was afraid that this display of fervor might actually persuade Her.
I said, "What if I don't do it?"
"Then you'll never see the face of God."
I knew what that meant: I'd wander alone in the belly of Death, in darkness, for eternity.
And even if the Scriptures weren't meant to be taken literally on this, the reality behind the
metaphor could only be worse. Indescribably worse.
"But ... what about Ma and Fa?" I was more worried about them, because I knew they'd never