"Harlan Ellison - Troublemakers" - читать интересную книгу автора (Ellison Harlan)

class.

So hereтАЩs this book of weird little stories, something like a modern-day version of AesopтАЩs Fables,
except not really. A book of warnings, what we call тАЬgardyloos.тАЭ With lessons to be learned that come
out of my own corrupt and devilish adolescence.

Careful, though. Gardyloo! I am nobodyтАЩs here, and I am as fu-- well, you know what I mean, IтАЩm as
messed up as you. So read the stories for pleasure, and if they make you grin or scare you a little, and
you turn out okay as an adult, and you get rich . . . send me some money.

Because IтАЩm just a poor old guy trying to make a sparse living in a world full of тАЬyoung peopleтАЭ who are
smarter than I, cleverer than I, faster than I; and IтАЩm just about on the verge of becoming like yтАЩknow a
тАЬbag ladyтАЭ kind of guy, gnawing the heads off rats, peeing in doorways, begging from door to door. So,
when these stories make you rich and famous, and theyтАЩve just completely like yтАЩknowaltered your life,
send me a couple of bucks.

Because I love you folks, you know that, doncha?

I just love ya.

(And while weтАЩre at it, IтАЩd like to sell you some shares in the Panda Farm IтАЩve got growing in my butt.
Very reasonable.)

Yr. pal, Harlan.

HARLAN ELLISON
Sherman Oaks, California

ON THE DOWNHILL SIDE
HereтАЩs one of the few Secret Truths IтАЩve learned for certain, having been тАЬon the roadтАЭ since I was
thirteen and ran away. (Had nothing to do with my folks; they didnтАЩt beat me; I was a restless kid,
wanted to see the world.) The Truth is this: most of the reasons we give for having done something or
other, usually something that got us yelled at or grounded or busted, most of the reasons we dream up
are horse-puckey. (IтАЩd use the B-word, but libraries are going to be stocking this book.) All those
reasons and excuses are just lame rationalizations, and they only tick off the people yelling at you. So
shine тАЩem on. Forget them. The only reason that makes any sense is тАЬItseemed like a good idea at the
time.тАЭ Lame though it may be, itтАЩs the Truth. тАЬWhy did you bust that window?тАЭ Itseemed like a good
idea at the time. тАЬWhy did you get hung up on that guy/girl when you knew it was a destructive hookup?тАЭ
Itseemed like a good idea at the time. тАЬWhy did you do that lump of crack?тАЭ Itseemed . . . well, you get
it. Too bad the guy in this first story didnтАЩt get it, because the True Answer to why you fell in love with
someone who ranked & hurt you is . . . itseemed like . . .



In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.

тАФ French proverb
Iknew she was a virgin because she was able to ruffle the silken mane of my unicorn. Named Lizette, she
was a Grecian temple in which no sacrifice had ever been made. Vestal virgin of New Orleans, found
walking without shadow in the thankgod coolness of cockroach-crawling Louisiana night. My unicorn