"Feehan, Christine - Dark 13 - Dark Destiny" - читать интересную книгу автора (Feehan Christine)
Nicolae had never shown those traits, not even in his battles. During his fights, Destiny had felt the wildness in him rise, a demon crouched and poised ready to destroy, but it was always leashed, always under control. She sighed softly. She needed to find out much more about him before she destroyed him, her only companion.
She could admit to herself she would miss Nicolae if he never again merged his mind with hers. She counted on him. So many times while she was learning to kill the vampire who'd tormented her, she had drawn heavily on his memories. More than that, Destiny had relied on him for emotional support. Through even the most degrading, frightening times of her life, Nicolae had been with her. Sheltering her. Distracting her. Keeping her alive.
Destiny settled deeper into the soothing arms of the earth. Nicolae had often told her fairy stories of a race of beings. Carpathians. He had said he was one, that he hunted those of his kind who betrayed their race by becoming the most evil of all beings. In the beginning she'd thought he had made up the tales to distract her from the terror of her existence. Later she thought he was attempting to lure her to him, to make her believe he was something other than vampire. In all the time she hunted the undead, she had never run across any being such as he had described. As she closed her eyes and the soil poured in over her, as the breath left her body and her heart ceased to beat, her last thought was that she must find out more about this species. She prayed they truly existed.
Chapter Three
Destiny opened her eyes and waited for the terrible rush of pain to sweep through her body. Agony upon awakening had always robbed her of breath and all thought until she could find a way to simply breathe, to function. It was always then that Nicolae merged with her. Destiny's pain drew him to her, allowed him to find her in the broad expanse of the universe. This rising was different. The pain was there, in her blood and bones, a burning acid that pulsed and throbbed, but without the terrible torment that had been such torture over the last years. Nicolae had given her some relief with the infusion of his ancient blood.
Although it is less on this rising, I still feel your pain. Come to me. My blood runs in your veins, it will be easy for you to find me. Come to me and I will do my best to heal you. It was the softest of whispers, a sweet seduction.
Destiny stared up at the night sky, entranced by its natural beauty. Over her head tree branches swayed gently, the leaves glittering a strange silver. She was enthralled by Nicolae's beautiful, musical voice. It wasn't simply that she found herself wanting to just listen to it, she needed to hear him speaking to her. She couldn't count the times she had crawled into the refuge of her mind to avoid the atrocities of her life, and found him there waiting where she could just listen to the magic of his incredible voice. The strength of her need for him seemed to be growing, not diminishing, as she aged.
While you think to find reasons to fear me, you might remember I could have taken your blood, tied you to me for all time, but I did not. Why would I want a woman unwilling to come to me on her own? If I were attempting to ensnare you, I would have taken your blood, not given you mine. You have power over me now. You know I speak the truth.
Destiny lifted her chin in a kind of rebellion. She did not need him to state the obvious. I will work things out for myself, Nicolae. I have no need or want of your unsolicited advice.
He laughed softly, the notes joyous and pure, slipping into her mind to twine unexpectedly around her heart. Destiny sucked in her breath, her eyes widening with shock, with realization. A part of her wanted him close to her. She had awakened expectantly, eager for the sound of his voice, for the connection between them.
Crimson color crept up her neck and into her face as she floated from her resting place. She considered herself well disciplined, took a certain pride in it, yet she could feel butterfly wings brushing at her stomach and warmth spreading treacherously through her body at the mere sound of his voice. At the knowledge of his nearness.
I don't want you here. She said it with a certain fire. Shocked at herself. Shocked at the way she felt toward him.
His answering laughter was pure male amusement, sliding into her mind, under her skin, dissolving her bones. He had been too long in her mind not to recognize her confusion for what it was. Destiny hissed out a slow breath. Emotions betray one, NicolaeЧI learned that lesson from a master. It's a truth I accept. Emotions had allowed Nicolae to find her. If Destiny hadn't heard Mary Ann speaking to one of her clients, if her words hadn't been the very thing Destiny had been starving to hear, she would have continued her nomad existence and Nicolae would not have found her.
I would have found you. There was complete confidence in his infuriating, beautiful voice. You know I would have found you.
Then there will be a battle between us.
Now there was a smoky edge to his laughter. There has never been a war to fight between us, there never will be. We are two halves of the same whole.
She winced at his words. To her, they were an accusation. She had seen his kills. She had touched that dark, crouching beast deep within him. As hard as she wished it otherwise, she was still what a monster had made her. For a moment she pressed her fingertips to her temples, closing her eyes, shutting out the beauty of the night, the beauty of his voice, the magic of the things she had become aware of.
Shape-shifting, soaring through the sky, running on four legs like a well-oiled machine, stars glittering like a shower of diamonds overheadЧthe sheer power of what she was. Destiny found it impossible to hate her existence. That realization only added to the weight of her guilt. She had always had choices, and she had chosen to live. Chosen to hunt and kill monsters. Chosen to stay close to MaryAnn Delaney. And she had chosen to listen to a depraved monster. He had murdered her family and turned her childhood into a living hell.
Stop it! Nicolae said sharply, a command from an ancient accustomed to instant obedience. You were a child, a little girl, with no knowledge of such evil creatures. You could not possibly have prevented what that vampire did to your family, nor were you responsible. You have rare gifts. There are others in the world such as you, other young women, possibly young men, who inadvertently draw the monster through their incredible gifts. They are in no way responsible for what a vampire does. The vampire chose his way of life. At one time he walked in the light and had honor and respect. At some point in his life he knew he was risking his soul if he continued. He knew what to do but chose to become the undead. Look into my memories; I offer them freely to you. You cannot believe you are responsible.
Destiny was silent a moment, wanting to believe him. Wanting to be absolved. Wanting the magic of his voice to wrap her up and take her away from all that had ever happened to her. Your voice is a weapon. She whispered the words to him aloud as well as in his mind. She needed the sound of her voice to believe it.
You are afraid. It is natural to fear what you do not understand, little one. His voice was so gentle she wanted to cry. She wanted to reach out to him and be held. Her reaction was so strong, so foreign to her nature, it shocked her. Frightened her even more. She felt off balance and indecisive, and she didn't like it. He hadn't called her "little one" in a long while. She tried to tell herself the endearment had thrown her, but she knew better.
She might be afraid, but she was no coward. She could at least be truthful with herselfЕ with him. Her chin went up and she straightened her shoulders. Yes, I am afraid. I don't know how to trust anyone. I don't know that I even trust myself. I trusted the beauty of a voice and I was deceived.
You were a child. His very gentleness caught at her, turned her inside out.
You did nothing wrong. And yet you blame yourself for surviving. You were meant to survive. Let me help you.
She raked her hand through her hair so that it fell in a dark cloud around her face. Hunger was burning through her body, gnawing and crawling. She tried to ignore it, tried to ignore the knowledge that feeding was no longer as repulsive to her as it should be. Just as she tried to ignore how easy it was to control her prey. She winced. Prey. Did you hear me? I thought of them as prey, not people. That's what I've become. That's what he made me. How can you help me? How can I trust you? I know what you are. You helped me to kill him. You taught me to be what I am. I see the darkness in you. Do you deny it?
Of course I do not deny it. The beast is a part of me. It is my strength as well as my weakness. But there is much more to me than a mindless beast bent on death and the torment and pain of others. Just as there is more to you than what he tried to make you.
There is darkness in me. She wouldn't lie. Not to him. Or to herself, not anymore.
My love. He said the two words softly, wrapped her up in his magic. His blood flows in your veins, haunting you, tormenting and whispering, but it is his darkness you feel, not your own. Carpathians are great healers. The soil here is adequate, but the soil of our homeland is like no other. His tainted blood can be removed. His shadowing can be dealt with by our healers and the soil of our homeland.
How can I trust anything you say to me? She repeated her question almost desperately, wanting something from him he could never give her. Reassurance. She wanted reassurance, yet she didn't dare believe ever again.
That is something only you can answer. There was no impatience in his voice, no anger, only a soft gentleness that threatened to fragment her heart. You have to find that answer for yourself. If you truly cannot see a difference between me and that unholy monster who dragged you from the safety of your home and subjected youЧsubjected both of usЧto his depraved tortures, then I have nothing with which to defend myself. And I never will. You have to see into my heart and soul. Look past the beast and see the man. See what you are to me. My heart and my soul. My everything. See me, all of me, not just fragments, and you will have your answers.
She hated him for whispering the words in her mind. For tempting her. His touch was feather-light, brushing the words against her hideous memories with the caressing stroke of an artist's brush. He was luring her deeper into his web. She was mesmerized by him. By everything he said. Everything he promised. By what he left unsaid. The strength and power he possessed. His knowledge. The way he had sheltered a helpless child. Even the way he had given her his blood and had not taken a single sip of hers. Blood was power. Connection. He had cradled her to him as no other ever had. Held her as if she mattered to him. He said things that pierced her armor like arrows. Beautiful things she needed, she craved. Beautiful things that terrified her.
Strangely, as she filled in the earth where she had rested, restoring it to its original state, a slight tremor in her legs caught her attention. Alarmed, Destiny lifted her hand in front of her face. It was shaking. Damn you, I don't want you here. What if she had to kill him? What if he gave her no choice? He was making her so weak, her body trembled. She couldn't afford him. She wouldn't have him in her territory.
You are worth the risk to my life; you always have been worth the risk. Nicolae spoke sincerely, as if he meant every word.
Destiny shook her head in denial. He wasn't going to leave, and as hard as she tried, she could not believe him evil. He wasn't going to make it simple for her by disappearing. Did she really want him to? The thought came unbidden. Sneaking in and tugging at her conscience.
"I'm fragmented." She said it aloud as she looked up at the sky. She wished she were truly friends with MaryAnn and could talk to her about Nicolae. "A part of me would be disappointed in him if he didn't stay. If he didn't want me." There, she had admitted it to herself and she hadn't used the word devastated.
The word might have floated for one second in her brain, but she hadn't acknowledged it aloud. Given it life.
How could she survive without him? She had lived with him for years. Shared his mind on every rising. Listened to the magic of his voice. She didn't know, hadn't known when he had begun invading her heart. She had known she needed him for the continual battles with the undead. She hadn't realized she needed him to be alive.
Destiny could find him now, anytime, anywhere. There was a blood tie between them. She could monitor him at will, touch his mind to see what he was doing. It gave her an advantage over him. She would know when he was hunting her. And she would know if he made a kill.
Resolutely she turned toward the city teeming with life. She had left her business with Mary Ann for too long. She preferred to get it over with. Three running steps and she launched herself skyward, spreading her arms as feathers sprouted and the wind took her higher. The earth fell away, taking her fears with it. She blocked out all thoughts of Nicolae and Vikirnoff and allowed herself to indulge in the sheer joy of flight. She would never tire of taking on the form of an owl and used it often when she traveled.
The world was a thing of beauty when she soared through the sky, when the air washed her body clean and she felt whole and pure and alive. She cut through the clouds, not taking the time to play. She had business. She searched familiar places, looking for traces of MaryAnn. Her scent. The sound of her voice. Her soft laughter. She found what she was looking for in a small bar where the locals hung out to exchange the latest gossip.
Destiny sat on the roof of the deli across the street from the bar and surveyed the street. Despite the lateness of the hour, Velda Hantz and her sister Inez sat in their chairs on the sidewalk in front of their apartment building, watching the world go by. Both in their seventies, they were permanent fixtures on the street, greeting each passerby by name and yelling out friendly advice or motherly admonishment if the situation warranted. It was impossible to miss either of them, dressed as they were in their favorite colors of fluorescent pink and chartreuse green. Velda's pink-tipped gray hair was in its usual artsy windblown style, while Inez's rich purple do was swept up on top of her head. They both wore the latest running shoes, which they carefully scuffed as they sat in their chairs. Destiny found the sisters oddly endearing. More than once she had allowed them to see her, and always they called out friendly greetings and waved her over for a quick interrogation.
Knees drawn up, her chin propped in her hand, Destiny watched the two women, unaware of the smile on her face. She had moved often from city to city, state to state, always hunting the undead. Always staying ahead of Nicolae and his relentless pursuit of her. She knew the way his mind worked. He had given her access to his battles, his strategies, his very thought process. She had soaked up his knowledge, knowing her life depended on it, knowing other lives would depend on it. That had enabled her to stay ahead of him. Until she had heard Mary Ann Delaney speaking, counseling a young woman whose life was a shambles. That soft, clear voice, the things Mary Ann had said, kept Destiny chained to Seattle. To these streets. Eventually she had come to secretly think of all the people in the neighborhood as her responsibility.
Destiny sighed and straightened very slowly. She had made a conscious choice to stop running and allow this city to become her home, to allow herself to care about its inhabitants. It gave her a semblance of normalcy she desperately needed, a purpose to continue her life when she knew she was evil.
Not evil. Carpathian. You carry the tainted blood of the vampire, but you are not vampire. I have explained this on more than one occasion. There was a patient note in Nicolae's velvet-soft voice. What is troubling you?
Destiny sighed softly, blew at a strand of hair that fell across her face. Don't you have anything better to do than harass me? Are all men as annoying as you?
There was a brief silence. She could feel him struggling not to laugh. No one ever spoke to him the way she did, and he was shocked as well as amused. It made her feel all the closer to him. Connected to him.
Good God. You are going to give me more trouble than I ever thought possible.
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