"Fish, Pat - Happy Last Birthday To You" - читать интересную книгу автора (Fish Patricia)

Roberta had plenty of fellows interested in her, so her choice of the geeky Roger confused me. Three weeks after Roger started dating Roberta, he jumped off the Chesapeake Bay Bridge to his death.

"I had no idea he would react like this, Jan. I told him it was over and look what he did."

I said nothing. Whatever and however it happened, I knew Roberta had planned it and I knew she liked it.

There were the appropriate assemblies and ceremonies at our high school for the tragic Roger. Roberta played the part of the heart-broken blue-eyed maiden very well. If every guy in our school wasn't already in love with Roberta, they were mad about her in her role as helpless female tossed by life's tragedies yet again. My mother was the pillar of support as Roberta suffered the loss of Roger in torrents of angel tears and unrequited angst.

Fortunately, no human or animal died in the two years I had left to finish high school and head off to college. I deliberately planned to attend a college as far away from Roberta as I could possibly find. Which is how I ended up in California with a degree in marketing and ultimately a husband and two children. In the eight years since I had left home, I only had to be in Roberta's presence once. My mother, God bless her, would give me regular telephonic updates.

"They've ruled it a crib death," my mother told me. I was eight months pregnant myself and offered my sympathies and explained that I could not fly home. I placed the telephone in its cradle and wondered for the rest of the day. Crib death. My God, it could only have been crib death, right? Surely Roberta couldn't kill her own child?

"Roberta is fine, Jan. A lot of scratches and bruises. Joseph didn't make it." With this announcement, I could find no excuse to avoid the plane that would take me to the funeral of my brother-in-law.

Joseph Wright was a very obese man. His coffin, Roberta whispered to me, had to be specially made. She made a lovely widow. Guests were mournfully received by the beautiful young woman who they sadly knew must live the rest of her life without the husband she adored.

How could she know the squealing brakes were so dangerous? Else she would have mentioned it before taking off for a drive through the mountains of West Virginia. It was only a miracle that gave her presence to open the door and roll to safety before the car plunged over the cliff. Joseph also tried to get out of the car, but, alas, well, he really was too heavy.

For one night that lasted a week I stayed with my mother for the funeral. The next day I was on the plane, far away from Roberta and far away from the insanity.

"My God Chad. Animals, boyfriends, babies, husbands. Everyone and everything around her ends up dead! And there's not a thing I can do about it, because my mother refuses to see it. My sister needs to be committed, but how are you going to get her to a shrink when the people around her can't even see she's crazy?"

Chad leaned back from the dinner table. He pushed the pizza crusts remaining on his plate away from him, placed his hands on his stomach, and gave a loud belch. I snapped the dishtowel at him.

"Jan, I don't know what to tell you. There is nothing that can be proved. And for the record," my husband held up his hand to stop my protests, "I believe you." Chad stopped here for additional thought and another needed belch.

"I'm still not sure about the boyfriend and husband, though. And the baby. I mean all of these things are subject to verification. It isn't like your goldfish, where you only think she used hot pepper flakes instead of food. A car accident is pretty hard to fake. Especially when you are in the car when it happens. And crib death? They always do autopsies on that sort of thing."

I picked up the pizza crusts and threw them on the floor for the waiting cocker spaniel. It was nice to finally be able to have a pet that wouldn't end up dead.

"I don't know Chad. Maybe the baby thing really was legit. Darn, maybe the car accident was legit. But I don't think so."

I picked up the paper plates and pizza box and made myself busy while I thought.

"She knows the right buttons, Chad. She knows the buttons that will cause....well, .....," I faded off momentarily while I searched the air for the words, "the buttons that will cause something to .....die."

I said these last words softly as if unable to believe such sentiments could be verbally expressed. I poured myself a glass of milk and sat down across from Chad.

"She parked her car right in the sun...just so the heat would be...so that the sun would....bake....," I faded off again here. "She knew that geeky Roger would fall hopelessly in love with her and she knew he would....kill....himself when she broke up. She knew Joseph could not get out of that car. Maybe she knew that laying the baby on its stomach...or back...or...whatever would increase the odds of crib death."

I was rambling on like this when Chad reached across the table and laid his hand on mine.

"Look, Jan. Thank God it's not our problem. Thank God we are clear across the country from her. Let's just forget about it."

We did just that. Until my mother phoned with the news.

"Roberta's engaged! I'm so happy she finally met someone. And you know, Roberta's such an angel. Her fiance is a deaf-mute but she tells me she loves him all the more for his handicap."

I held the phone a foot away from my ear. My God the woman was marrying a deaf-mute! How long before he too died tragically? I needed to put the phone back to my ear just then for I could swear I heard Roberta's voice over the lines.