"Eric Flint - The Thief and the Roller Derby Queen" - читать интересную книгу автора (Flint Eric)

"That stuff's like rubber," complained the demon. Then, ogling Loretta: "But what a babe!"



Things didn't go as badly as they might, because Loretta was used to fending off the advances of lustful
males. And even though she wasn't wearing her roller derby pads, she still had a mean knee and a really
vicious elbow smash. But it was sticky for a while, and she was always afraid to summon demons
thereafter.



But what kind of great witch can't summon demons?



She brooded about the problem for several weeks. Then she decided that what she needed was a piece
of brimstone. It's not clear where she got that idea. It's not in the literature, that's for sure. But Loretta
had a tendency to invent her own recipes, which was one of the reasons her boyfriend insisted on eating
out. (The other reason is that he felt a great thief should eat in fine restaurants, even if he couldn't read the
menu.)



Now, mind you, fooling with recipes is no big deal when it comes to cooking. But it's really not a good
idea when you're dealing with the underworld.



Loretta was just as stubborn as she was smart and good-looking. Once she got something in her head,
that was that. Right off she started pestering her boyfriend to go to Hell with her and steal a piece of
brimstone. She didn't actually know what brimstone was, but she remembered from her Sunday school
days (which were a long way back) that there was lots of it in Hell.



The thief refused, at first, so Loretta withheld her affections (as they say). Eventually, he gave in. Loretta
thought it was because he was terminally horny, but the truth is that the more he thought about the job,
the more it appealed to his vanity. He liked to call himself the Cat, but his friends called him the Pussy
(which, among his crowd, didn't have the same connotation at all).



"I'll show 'em," he muttered to himself. And he went to Loretta and agreed to do the job. "Provided you
can get us into Hell."



"That's easy!" she exclaimed.
And it was. Any half-educated witch can get into Hell. The trick, of course, is getting back out.