"Michael Flynn - Falling Stars" - читать интересную книгу автора (Flynn Michael)

Bluff, for one. She patted her jumper pocket when she reentered the office. тАЬGot it,тАЭ she announced, just
like that was the end to it.
But Mother Linda wasnтАЩt buying it. She held her hand out once more. тАЬMay I see it?тАЭ
Brazen it out, for another. Let what would happen, happen; and not exhaust herself on contingencies.
Mother Linda paged through the booklet, pausing now and again to read what Jacinta had scrawled there.
On one page, she paused a very long time.
тАЬI can explain тАФтАЭ Jacinta said; but the house mother held up her palm and Jacinta sagged back in her
chair.
An agonizing time later тАФ no clock could measure its passage тАФ Mother Linda closed the booklet and
handed it back to her. тАЬHow do you explain this?тАЭ
тАЬWell тАжтАЭ What was her explanation? She could not remember why she had started doing it; only that the
world had begun making more sense once she had. A deep breath prepared her. тАЬI guess, I ran into
situations, almost died, watched friends fail тАжтАЭ She stopped. Who was that babbling so inarticulately? She
looked for steel within herself, found it. тАЬSome of the Precepts seemed too simple for what I ran into. I
didnтАЩt reject any of them, but I thought they needed, well, amendments. IтАЩm sorry if I тАФтАЭ
A cup of tea appeared before her. Jacinta searched Mother LindaтАЩs face and found тАж
Approval?
тАЬDonтАЩt apologize,тАЭ the director said. тАЬNearly all our fledglings annotate theirPrecepts sooner or later. We
expect it. It marks the end of their fledging. To push against your boundaries is the most natural thing in
the world тАФ which is why the boundaries must be there in the first place. Without rules, why, there is
nothing for the young to rebel against; nor any center to come back to. Our young girls need rules and
boundaries; but an adult must guide herself through a more ambiguous world. There are always
exceptions and special cases and times when the rules do not quite apply. Yet, the world is notall
exceptions. It is not made up entirely of special cases. There really is a pole star, and as long as you fix on
it, you can never lose your course for long.тАЭ
That was all finely said, but losing your course implied that you had one. What exactly was hers? To
spend her days waiting for the Academy to reopen? It would, of course; but no one said it would be soon
enough for Jacinta Rosario to step back into harness or that the apples would be able to fund her
scholarship when it did.
Or should she settle into the comfortable routine of the Refuge? тАЬStudy and recital and the care-absorbing
task.тАЭ She had known peace and respect growing up in the North Orange Retreat; more than she had ever
known at home; but she had been fledged only a year, and already it seemed an alien world.
As for home тАж The Retreat had saved, if not her life, her sanity. Maria Rosario had been too young
herself to comprehend that motherhood might actually require some of her time тАФ away from the
television, away from the phone, away from the message boards and chat rooms. She had left Jacinta to
fend for herself тАФ to dress herself in the morning, to find her own meals in an often-empty fridge тАФ only to
turn on her with shouts and sarcasm when Jacinta selected the wrong clothes or made a five-year-oldтАЩs
mess in the kitchen. Clueless to the end, she had watched in stunned amazement when her daughter
walked out of the house at thirteen to join тАЬthat cult.тАЭ
No, she couldnтАЩt go back there, either.
And where did that leave?
Jacinta lay on her bunk that night, trying to sort out her thoughts. The room was simple, not very different
from her dorm room at Glenn Academy. A desk with a Net-browser, a reference shelf of тАЬseedies,тАЭ a
closet where she had hung her few clothes тАФ mostly coveralls with their Academy patches. She
wondered if sheтАЩd ever wear them again.
Almost as far back as her memory could take her, Jacinta had yearned to leave the ground behind and
soar through the skies into the blackness of space. And from nearly as early an age, she had learned to
hide those yearnings.Learn your limits, girl, her mother had once said with cruel indifference,before you
smash into them .
Well, she had smashed into them, right enough. Not, thankfully, because of her limits тАФ she had yet to