"FWLS26" - читать интересную книгу автора (A Future We'd Like to See)

A Future We'd Like To See 1.26 - The Oracle
By Twoflower (Copyright 1993)

I would be excited, but my training has suppressed any major
emotional reactions. You see, I had been preparing myself for
this day for about fifteen years, studying hard under the mighty
Pondering Monks of Rigel Twelve. Fifteen years of wearing those
itchy robes. Fifteen years of sleeping sitting down in a small
stone cell four feet by four feet by four feet. I had undergone
the rituals, the hardships, the intense mental therapy all for
this day.

You see, there exists a mighty power in this universe. A
prophet, if you will, that lives on the fourth planet of the
Rigel system. Supposedly, he knows everything. When I say
everything, I mean EVERYTHING, from why men and women don't get
along to why Aardvark is the first word in any dictionary. If
it's got a question mark at the end of it, the Oracle of Mighty
Power, Knowledge and Wisdom will know the answer.

However, he only wants to see certain people that have
undergone fifteen years of training and dedication. I guess he
doesn't have enough time to see EVERYBODY, so there has to be
some sort of qualification. All you need to do is become
celibate, put on a robe, and live in a monastery for a really
long time and BAM! you get your questions answered about life,
the universe, and everything. There is the one rule, however;
when you do get to meet the Oracle, you can only ask three
questions.

I had been preparing myself, memorizing my questions,
chanting them as a mantra, having them tattooed on my rear end
and such. I was ready for the day.

The monk's only spaceship gave me transportation to the
mountainous landscape of Rigel Four that fine morning. They
dropped me off on a high mountain plateau, overlooking the jagged
edges of the Allapalooza volcano chain, over which the two suns
of Rigel rose. There was a faint breeze in the air. The whole
scene was picture perfect, just how I had imagined it.

I glanced over at the cave mouth. That's where the Oracle
of Mighty Power, Knowledge and Wisdom lived. I strode forward,
pulled the Chain of Truth, and the Bells of Righteousness rang
out in glorious harmony.

Then a voice from inside the cave shouted, "Take a number!"

I blinked, still holding the Chain of Truth, and noticed the
Ticket Dispenser of Justice bolted to the other side of the cave