"James Alan Gardner - League of Peoples 06 - Trapped" - читать интересную книгу автора (Gardner James Alan)

An illustrative example: at Feliss Academy's most recent staff party, all of us teachers had just finished
dinner when a trout skeleton on the Caryatid's plate proclaimed, "You're sure going to regret eating me."
The entire faculty rose as one, hied ourselves to the closest commode, and desperately stuck our fingers
down our throats. Alas, to no availтАФeveryone from the chancellor down to the lowest lecturer in Latin
literature succumbed to a dose of the trots.

If the Caryatid had received another vision of the future, the only sensible response was bowel-chilling
 Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html




dread. We therefore sat in clenched silence for at least a count of ten before anyone mustered the nerve
to speak. Finally, it was Pelinor who ventured to ask the obvious: "So, er... what did this sort of a
prophecy kind of thing say?"

"Well..." The Caryatid kept her gaze on the crushed cockroach rather than making eye contact with the
rest of us. "I was in the lab cleaning up after Freshman Class 4AтАФ"

"May they burn in hell for eternity," Sister Impervia said.

We looked at her curiously.

"It's book report week," she explained.

We all said, "Ahh!"

"I was cleaning up after Freshman 4A," the Caryatid resumed, "and I peeked into the crucible of
Two-Jigger Volant├йs... you know him?"

We nodded. I had no direct acquaintance with the unfortunate Mr. Volant├йs, but word gets around. The
Freshman collective unconscious had appointed Two-Jigger the Official Class GoatтАФthe brunt of their
jokes, the person nobody sat with at mealtimes, and the one whose underclothes were most often on
display atop the school's flag pole.

"So what I found in the crucible," continued the Caryatid, "was what I call Goat Stew. Someone always
convinces the Class Goat you can make an infallible love potion from eye of newt and toe of frog, wool
of bat and tongue of dog... the whole Scottish formula. Let me tell you, that doesnot make a love
potion."

"What does it make?" asked Pelinor.

"Blind newts, lame frogs, cold bats, and a cocker spaniel who makes god-awful sucking sounds when
he's trying to drink from his dish. So I'm staring at this mess when suddenly the newt's eye turns my way.
Then the dog's tongue says,You're going on a quest?"

"Do dogs have deep voices?" Pelinor asked. "I've always wondered. It stands to reason a Chihuahua
would have a higher voice than a bloodhound, but if you got, say, a male Doberman and a female, would
the male be a bass and the female an alto? Or would they both be baritones?"