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A FALSE CONVERSION, Or Good Blood Never Lies

By Theophile Gautier

Etext by Dagny

Scene I.

Scene II.

Scene III.

Etext by Dagny

This Etext is for private use only. No republication for profit in 
print or other media may be made without the express consent of the 
Copyright Holder. The Copyright Holder is especially concerned about 
performance rights in any media on stage, cinema, or television, or 
audio or any other media, including readings for which an entrance fee 
or the like is charge. Permissions should be addressed to: Frank 
Morlock, 6006 Greenbelt Rd, #312, Greenbelt, MD 20770, USA or 
[email protected]. Other works by this author may be found at 
http://www.cadytech.com/dumas/personnage.asp?key=130

Translated and Adapted by Frank J. Morlock C 1998

Characters:
Florine
Duke
Chevalier
Mr. de Vandore
Commander
Marquis
Celinda
Rosimene
St. Albin
Suzon

Scene I.

Florine
My dear lords, I can only repeat to you what I've already said. My mistress is not here.
Duke
That is the utmost falsity. I saw her leaning out of her window.
Chevalier
I will only believe she's not here if she comes to tell us so herself.
Duke
Does she take us for creditors or men or letters, who come to offer their dedications?
De Vandore
We are not jokers or scoundrels. Those appellations are not our concern. Gentlemen, you don't know the correct way of questioning serving girls. (pulling out his purse) Now, Florine, be frank, is your mistress home?
Florine
Yes, sir.
De Vandore
I knew quite well I'd get her to speak.
Chevalier
How cruel to conceal herself from friends like us who have never missed one of her suppers. What ingratitude!
De Vandore
Have us in, little one.
Florine
Your eloquence is, indeed, persuasive, sir. But I find myself, much to my regret, forced to keep your purse without opening the door to you.
De Vandore
For God's sake, Florine. You are worse than Cerberus. You take the gift, but you don't allow anyone to pass!
Florine
I know my duty.
Duke
Since this is the way things stand, I've decided to lay siege to the house. I am going to dig a tunnel under the gate or tunnel a mine right into Celinda's alcove. I know where she is, thank God.
Florine
The Duke is a terrible man.
De Vandore (aside)
I really want to return to pay court to Rosimene. It's true, she's received me very coldly. To be pushed out or not to be admitted—the chance being equal—I'll stay. My God, in a century of conception, it's difficult to have an affair of the heart.
Chevalier
Come on, Florine. Don't be strict with us. It's not like you to be cruel.
Florine
You like to have things repeated. My mistress is here, it's true. But it is as if she weren't. Madame does not wish to receive anyone. Neither today, nor tomorrow, nor the day after. She's determined. From now on, we shall live far from the noise of the world in an inaccessible solitude.
Duke
We'll put things straight. We don't wish to spend our lives dying of boredom. We will pursue Celinda until the end of her Odyssey. What the devil! After having shown her friends such a pretty face, full of lilies and roses, one cannot make them kiss a face of oak studded with steel nails.
Commander
Celinda, the pearl of our suppers. Celinda, who so cheerfully wet her pretty, rosy lips in the foam of champagne less sparkling than she.
Marquis
Celinda, who sang so well, verses over dessert which amused us so much! Celinda, this smile of our joy, this star of our mad nights.
Chevalier
She's retiring from the world.
Duke
She, a hermit—and virtuous!
Chevalier
It's ignoble.
Duke
It's monstrous.
De Vandore
What will you do, shut up like that? How will you pass the time?
Florine
We will read The Social Contract and we will study philosophy.
Commander
I will wager your philosophy has mustaches and spurs.
Marquis
Celinda is in love with a negro or a poet—at the least.
Duke
What an example of her type.
Chevalier
Bah! Celinda is a girl who has sentiments and who only likes good things. It's a caprice which cannot last.
Commander
What will we do to ruin ourselves?
Marquis
She had an inventive fantasy to dry up, in a year, the richest vein of mines in Peru. We must now find a way of spending our money ourselves. Her absence will be cruelly felt. You won't believe me, because it is so ridiculous, but is' more than fifteen years since I have—I don't know what to do with my money. Hey, Duke, do you want me to loan you a thousand pounds?
Duke
Thanks, I am gambling from noon to midnight to save myself from a pecuniary congestion.
Marquis
We must be careful. The situation is grave. See rather this great financier, he's stuffed with pounds, doubloons up to his blazoned throat, contending with all the troubles of the world. He'll explode one of these days. He'll die of melted gold.
Duke
Only Celinda can prevent such misfortunes.
Chevalier
What shall we do with ourselves today?
Duke
Faith, I don't know, my boy. I had set myself on the idea of spending the evening with Celinda. Devil if I can think of an alternative.
Commander
By God, let's stay. If Celinda doesn't want to be here, it's not our fault. We are almost at home here, anyway.
Duke
I gave her the house.
Commander
I bought the furniture.
Marquis
I, the livery and the carriages.
Chevalier
We're here in a hotel—furnished.
All
By us.
Commander
Let's stay.
Chevalier
Here are cards. Let's play whist.
Florine
What are you thinking of, gentlemen? You are forgetting you are not at home.
Duke
On, the contrary, my sweet, we are remembering. What's the stake, Chevalier?
Chevalier
A gold crown, to begin.
Florine
Gentlemen, please.
Chevalier
If you say one more word, Florine, we'll make you kiss Mr. de Vandore, who is at his absolute ugliest today.
Florine
I give up. I'm going to tell my mistress what is happening.
Duke
It would really be a crime to allow a pretty thing like Celinda to adopt the customs of savages and goths—let's keep her, despite herself, on the right path—and not permit her to deviate from the traditions of an elegant lifestyle.
Chevalier
Here she is herself, our obstinacy had its effect.
(Enter Celinda.)
Duke
Well, beautiful, here you are again. Here you see a Duke, a Marquis, a Commander, a Chevalier, and even a financier who are dying in your absence. Where does this savage cruelty come from that renders you insensible to the sighs of such adorers? This poor Chevalier has lost what little sense he had. He neglects himself and doesn't curl his hair more than three times a day—and wears the same watch for a week. He's a lost man.
Celinda
Sir, stop your joking. I am not in the mood to endure it. And, tell me why you remain in my house by force and against my orders? Is it because I am a dancer and you are a Duke?
Duke
My despair has made me impolite. Having no other way, I took it.
Chevalier
You are lacking in respect to all Paris.
Commander
The universe is very embarrassed in its person and doesn't know what to do.
Duke
If you knew how stupid de Vandore has become since he no longer sees you.
Celinda
You absolutely want me to leave. This obstinacy is strange. To want to visit people despite themselves!
Commander
Bad girl! Can anyone live without you?
Celinda
I assure you that I have not the least wish to see you and that I will never break down your door. Please leave, it's the only pleasure you could give me.
De Vandore (aside)
Oh, the little demon! Decidedly, I won't speak to her of my Florine, and I'll keep for a better time this little song I wrote on the back of a fifty thousand pound bank draft which I brought specially in my pocket. I think, really, that Rosimene is still in a mood less harsh. I feel I don't know what desire to return there.
Chevalier
This is unfriendly. To treat us this way, your best friends.
Celinda
You are not my friends, I hope, although you fill my house. Henceforth, my days shall be in a retreat. I never want to see anyone again.
Duke
“Anyone,” right? But, I'm someone.
Celinda
Let me live the way I fancy. Forget me. That won't be difficult for you. Enough others will replace me. You have Dupline, Fausena, Lendameny, the whole of the opera, the comedy. They will receive you with open arms. I've amused you enough. I've sung enough, danced enough, at your parties and suppers. What do you want from me? You've had my gaiety, my smile, my beauty, my talent. Can I take them away from you? You knew how to pay for all this with handfuls of gold. What does it matter to me how bored you are? Besides, I wouldn't amuse you any more. My character has totally changed. I've felt the emptiness of this brilliant frivolity. From having known others too much, the taste for simple pleasures has come to me. I want to reflect and think. That's enough to tell you there can no longer be anything in common between us.
Chevalier
Is it Celinda who's talking this way?
Celinda
Yes, me! What's so surprising in that? It no longer pleases me to laugh. I don't laugh. I no longer wish to see anyone. I shut my door. That's all.
Commander
What a singular caprice—to extinguish at the moment of its greatest luster, one of the most luminous stars in the heaven of the Opera.
Celinda
Nothing could be simpler. I diverted you and you did not divert me. Do you think, Duke, that it is so agreeable to see the Marquis for an entire evening slouching in an armchair, dangling his legs, pulling a little mirror from his pocket, and making the cutest faces at himself.
Duke
Indeed, it's not very gay.
Celinda
And you, Chevalier, do you find the Duke, who only speaks of his hounds, his horses and his carriages, and who is in love with everything regarding the stable, a very entertaining person? That would drive an English groom to despair.
Chevalier
It's true that conversation is not the Duke's forte.
Celinda
Commander, you are but the shadow of yourself. Your principal merit consists in being a great eater and a great drinker. You're not a man, you're a stomach. You've become a turkey, and only six bottles trouble your head. You go to sleep after dinner. Well, sleep at home.
De Vandore
How appearances are deceiving. I, who thought her so sweet and charming.
Celinda
As for Mr. de Vandore, he's a sack of money with clothes and lace. Let him hide it in a strong box. That's his plan.
All
Well said, well said. She always had a devilish wit.
Duke
You don't wish to come to Marly?
Celinda
No.
Chevalier
At the musical concert being given where one hears this famous foreign singer—
Celinda
No, I tell you.
Commander
I've just received from Perigord certain truffles which are not bad, washed down with a little wine. I have, in a corner of my wine cellar known to me alone— Come, sup with us.
Celinda
No, no, a thousand times no. I no longer wish to live with strawberries and cream. All your poisoned dishes don't tempt me.
Commander
Poisoned dishes! Truffles of the first choice! Don't repeat what you just said or you will lose your reputation. For you to hold such strange opinions, something strange must have happened to your wits. You've been reading bad books, or you are amorous—which is in bad taste and good only for dressmakers.
Celinda
They won't go! If they should meet St. Albin!
Duke
You are burning with an impure love for someone of questionable birth that you dare not produce. A shop boy, a soldier, a newspaper man. Take care, Celinda, you cannot descend below a Baron. You must be a Duchess or a Queen to permit yourself the caprice of a lackey or a poet—without there being evil consequences. All that I say to you is in your interest. Gentlemen, since Celinda is so inhospitable today, come spend the evening with me. We will drink. And for desert, Lindamuso and Rosimene will dance on the table to the accompaniment of broken glasses. Madame, I cast my regrets at your feet.
De Vandore
I still want to slip my stanzas to her—
(Exeunt all except Celinda.)
Celinda
Gone at last! That was difficult. They were used to being more at home here than in their own homes. Ah, my dear Marquis, how I hate you with all my soul. They were born insolent. Why didn't I notice it until today? They were always this way. I alone have changed. Celinda— Celinda is no more. A new woman has been born in me. Since I read Rousseau, my eyes have opened. I've never loved. I'd never met St. Albin. That young man with an honest soul, with an enthusiastic heart, who declaims so eloquently in my boudoir, of the conception of cities, and the innocence of rural life. If these imbeciles had known how I adore a young preceptor named, quite simply, St. Albin, who doesn't even powder his hair—there would be so many taunts, so many jibes. But, time presses. Tonight, I must break these bonds. I've written the management breaking my engagement. Let's return these presents, the rewards of guilty weaknesses. (ringing) Florine, take this bracelet back to the Duke and this choker to the Chevalier.
(St. Albin enters.)
Celinda
Finally! I thought you weren't coming.
St. Albin
I'm early.
Celinda
My heart is always ahead of time. No one saw you?
St. Albin
No one. The street was deserted.
Celinda
It's not that I blush over you—even were you a Duke or slave trader— but I fear for my happiness. Our great dull Lords would never pardon me for being happy.
St. Albin
Are you still surrounded by their obsessions?
Celinda
Still! But, I've taken my leave. For you, I abandon glory, the stage, fortune. I am leaving the theatre.
St. Albin
You are renouncing the Opera.
Celinda
It bores me to live in clouds and mythological glories. I abdicate. From goddess, I've become a woman again. I will only be beautiful for you, sir.
St. Albin
How can I show gratitude for such an act of love?
Celinda
Rehearsals will no longer disturb our meetings. We will have forever to love each other.
St. Albin
Yes, my all-beautiful. Twenty-four hours a day is not enough.
Celinda
We will live in the country, all by ourselves in a little cottage. We will realize Rousseau's ideal. We'll have cows that I will milk myself.
St. Albin
It will be charming. You've understood me. The pastoral life has always been my dream.
Celinda
Sundays, we'll dance with the villagers. I'll wear a simple ribbon in my hair.
St. Albin
But, you mustn't forget yourself and execute a pirouette or do a bump and grind.
Celinda
Have no fear. I will quickly forget the graceful footwork. I was born to be a shepherdess.
St. Albin
To feel the earth, to watch the flocks. That's the true destiny of man. Paris, city of mud and smoke, I shall leave you forever.
Celinda
Let us flee far from a corrupt society.
St. Albin
I've already had some clothes made. The village tailors are so clumsy. But, who cares about the cut of one's suit? Virtue alone makes a man happy.
Celinda
Virtue, accompanied by a little love. Come, darling, my carriage is waiting.
St. Albin
I have to write the family whose children I am raising after Rousseau's methods of an imperious necessity which forces me to renounce these philosophic duties.
Celinda
Perhaps, in our retreat you will have the opportunity to exercise your talents. Ah, I will not be an unnatural mother. Our child will not suck mercenary milk.
(They leave.)
BLACKOUT

Scene II.

A month later. A hermitage near Montmorency.

St. Albin
How will you dress to go to this country feast? There will be some city women there. Will you wear your diamonds?
Celinda
The flowers of the field will be my diamonds. I don't want those gorgeous ornaments which make me remember what I ought to forget. I've sent back the jewels to those who gave them to me.
St. Albin
Sublime! (aside) It's a shame. I loved the blue lights that the stones gave off in the candlelight. (aloud) And your lace?
Celinda
Sold. I gave the money to the poor. They'd be torn to pieces by the thorns of bushes and roses.
St. Albin
Lace is really nice at the end of a dress.
Celinda
Shall I drag my skirt in prairie dust? A dress of English cotton, streaked with red, a straw hat. That will be my outfit.
St. Albin
You must put on a little rouge. You are pale.
Celinda
The crystal water of the springs will suffice to revive color in my cheeks.
St. Albin
I am still of the opinion that a touch of rouge under the eye lights up your face, and a bit of lipstick. Are you bringing your perfume? The villagers sometimes have a strong odor.
Celinda
Violets on my breast will be my only perfume.
St. Albin
I appreciate the violets, but perfume has its charm.
Celinda
A perfidious charm which intoxicates and disturbs. Nature disdains all such vain refinements.
St. Albin
Come as you like. You will always be pretty. (taking his hat)
Celinda
Are you going out again?
St. Albin
I haven't put a foot outside for ages.
Celinda
You were gone all day yesterday.
St. Albin
Was it yesterday I went to Paris? It seems so long ago.
Celinda
What you said was not very gallant.
St. Albin
You really have a bad disposition. I spoke without thinking. Goodbye. I am going for a walk and, in the depths of the forest, I'll meditate the true way of making people happy.
(Exit St. Albin. Enter Florine.)
Florine
Oh, that wicked beast of a cow! She ran right off with my bonnet and knocked over a pail of milk in the stable. We won't have any cream to make cheese and we'll have to go two leagues to get some elsewhere. Long live Paris, where you can get what you want.
Celinda (dreaming)
The Opera must be playing today.
Florine
Yes. And Rosimene is dancing your dances.
Celinda
Rosimene—dancing my dances. A creature like that. Only good enough to play in the chorus.
Florine
She's intrigued a lot. Now she's the lead dancer.
Celinda
Who told you that? It's impossible.
Florine
You know that young painter who likes me. I met him the other day and he persuaded me to pose for him—as a wood nymph. While I was posing, he told me all the scandals of the green room.
Celinda
But she's all superficiality. She's stolen two balusters from some balcony to make her legs.
Florine
De Vandore has done mad things for her. He gave her a hotel in the suburbs. And magnificent plate, and the other day, she was in a carriage with four horses and an enormous coachman and three gigantic lackeys running behind. A train for a Princess of the blood.
Celinda
She's a horror. She's a bit of flesh held together with hooks and eyes.
Florine
When I think that madame, who is so well made, has buried herself completely in a frightful desert for love of a small young man, handsome enough it is true, but without the least stability.
Celinda (frightened)
Florine, Florine, look.
Florine
What's wrong?
Celinda
A toad has come in through the open door and comes skipping over the floor.
Florine
The frightful beast! With his big popping eyes, he frightfully resembles Mr. de Vandore.
Celinda
I am going to faint. Florine, don't abandon me in this extreme peril.
Florine
Where are the tongs? I can catch him by a paw and throw him delicately over the wall.
Celinda
Take care he doesn't hurl his venom in your face.
Florine
Fear nothing. I am brave. Soon we'll be rid of this importunate visitor.
Celinda
I breathe. The description of hermitages by authors do not speak of toads who want to slide into your privacy.
Florine
I always told you, madame, that authors are imbeciles. The country is made for peasants, and not for persons well brought up.
Celinda
Good God! A wasp is buzzing against the window. If it were to sting me!
Florine
With two or three passes with my handkerchief, I am going to try to make him fall to the ground. We'll crush him then.
(Florine kills the wasp.)
Celinda
What perils and what needles. It's frightful to be pursued this way by evil animals. Yesterday, I found an enormous spider in my curtains.
Florine
The country has to be populated by animals, since people, necessarily, are in the city.
Celinda
It seems to me that my flesh burns. I'm afraid of being struck by a beam of sunlight if I water the flowers in the garden without a hat.
Florine
Madame's skin is always of an admirable whiteness.
Celinda
You think so?
Florine
It's not like that Rosimene's, with her red tint and her yellow neck. I'd like to have the money she spends on makeup and powder.
Celinda
I hear Suzon's wooden shoes. She's in a hurry. Something extraordinary must have happened.
(Enter Suzon.)
Suzon
Madame, excuse my entrance like this, without a word of warning, into your beautiful room, as if in a pigsty. There's a handsome gentleman who wishes to speak to you.
Florine
Show in the handsome gentleman.
Celinda
No! No!
Florine
It will amuse us. I'll be so happy to see a human face.
(Enter the Duke.)
Celinda
Heavens! The Duke!
Florine
Milord! What? Is it you?
Duke
Myself, charming savage. I've found you again. It's been three weeks that my secret agents have canvassed the country to ferret you out.
Florine
The fact is—we are at the end of the world.
Duke
You must hate me a lot, naughty girl, for you to expatriate yourself so as not to see me. By the way, here's the diamond you sent me back as if I were a tradesman. A person of quality never takes back what's he has given.
Celinda
Sir!
Florine
Only men of birth behave like that!
Duke
You have a caprice for this little dandy. It's not worth the bother to flee people for that. A man of wit understands everything. I would have arranged things so as not to meet St. Albin, or rather—better to present him to me and I would have sponsored him, if he had some merit. A pretty woman is allowed to have a philosopher as she is allowed to have a poodle. It doesn't make much difference.
Celinda
St. Albin knew how to inspire me with love of virtue.
Duke
Him! I shouldn't speak ill of him, for I'd have the air of a dismissed rival, but this dear gentleman is not what he appears to be—or, as they say in the novels, I am much deceived.
Florine
I am of the Duke's opinion. Mr. St. Albin has attractions which are not becoming to a patriarchal and rustic man.
Celinda
Florine—
Duke
My dear Celinda, I love you more than you could suspect from my light tone and frivolous manners. I've never spoken to you in high flown phrases, yet I've made sacrifices for you which many a romantic and pompous lover would hesitate to perform—not to mention two or three little duels—so you could crush all your rivals. So that your feminine vanity would not suffer, I've mortgaged my ancestral estates, and your divine beauty has expanded splendidly amidst marvels of luxury and art. This sell-off has made you shine double. And while only speaking of dogs and horses, I've rejoiced in having rectified all the injustice of fate that made you only a queen of the Opera—when you should have been born on a throne.
Florine
How the Duke expresses himself—with no debt to fashionable books. I don't like lovers who give their lives for their mistress and who refuse her fifty crowns or leave her for some dull wife.
Celinda
Dear Duke, oh, if I had known. Alas, it is too late. St. Albin adores me. I must end my days in this retreat, far from the noise of the world, far from success.
Duke
To renounce your art and glory, for a scribbler who deceives you—I'm sure of it. To let that flabby Rosimene make the boards creak where you so lightly danced—it's unpardonable. The public has such bad taste, it is capable of applauding her.
Celinda
The crowd often takes indecency for sensuality and simpering for grace.
Duke
You have only to reappear to send her back to the chorus—which she should never have left.
Celinda
Why speak of that, since my fate is forever fixed?
Duke
Those are very solemn words.
Suzon (entering with a letter in her hand)
Madame, here's a letter which a boy gave me for you.
Celinda
It's St. Albin's writing. What can it mean? He just left. What can he have to tell me? I tremble. Break the seal. Duke, you'll excuse me?
Duke
Why, of course.
Celinda (reading)
My dear Celinda, What I have to tell you is so embarrassing that I've taken the means of informing you by letter. You may call me perfidious, but I was only unwise. Destiny does not want me to be happy according to my heart's vows. A man simple and virtuous, I was born to be happy in the country—but an unforeseeable event has recalled me to the city. You know I was a tutor. My pupil had a sister who often heard my lessons. What can I tell you? Julie, for that is her name, scorning vile prejudices, soon gave in to the sweet seductions of nature—and finds herself in the position of giving a new citizen to the fatherland. Her parents, noticing their daughter's condition, summon me to repair the outrage to her honor. I've been forced to agree to marry her—and they insist on bestowing a dowry on her of one hundred thousand crowns. This is very annoying to me, for I've always professed to scorn riches and ask only for pure milk under a thatched roof, isn't it? Don't wish me ill, Celinda. An imperious destiny compels me. Try to forget me—nothing prevents you from remaining where you are amidst simple pleasures and days exempt from troubles. Goodbye forever, The Unfortunate St. Albin.
Celinda
The rogue! How he deceived me! oh, I am choking from anger and misery!
Duke
This doesn't surprise me. Romantic men are always committing follies with rich heiresses.
Florine
He's a scoundrel, a libertine, a hypocrite. I've never told madame, but he always hugged me in the dark corridors, and if I'd wanted to— Happily, I have some principles.
Celinda
And I was capable of preferring him to you.
Duke
So much the worse for him if he hasn't resembled your dream.
Florine
Now we no longer have any reason to stay in the country—if we were to return a little to see what the conditions of the land are in Paris—
Celinda
Goodbye—daisies, aromas of green hay, smoke from distant burning leaves—my heart has known pleasures too stimulating to be able to endure your sweet, monotonous chorus.
Duke
Your bucolic interlude is terminated?
Celinda
Yes. Give my your hand and escort me.
Duke
My carriage is exactly at the turn of the road.
Florine
Yea! For a working girl, it's better to have love letters than to milk cows.
(They leave.)
BLACKOUT

Scene III.

The foyer of the Opera.

Rosimene
This imbecile didn't put water in my watering jug. I nearly fell down flopping. My place was clear and shining like a waxed floor.
De Vandore
I'll beat the clown when he comes back.
Chevalier
Miss Rosimene is taken with exquisite taste.
Rosimene
My shirt costs a thousand crowns. Mr. de Vandore has done wonders.
Commander
We are going to dine with you after the ballet. This morning I sent a hamper of game and the recipe for quail.
Rosimene
Oh, I adore quail.
Chevalier (aside)
She adores everything.
Rosimene
I am not a prude like Celinda. I eat and I drink. It's more gay.
Commander
By the way, what's become of Celinda?
De Vandore
She's given herself up to the pleasures of the country and foments cream in a Swiss dairy farm.
Commander
Bad nutrition which ruins the stomach. It's bad enough to suck milk when you're a little kid.
Rosimene
I prefer tonics and highly seasoned dishes. After all, Celinda has always had romantic ideas. She had the defect of reading. I ask you, what's the good of that?
Chevalier
Rosimene, tonight you have such gusto—such pungency, it's incredible how you've improved.
Rosimene
I owe it to my big old Croesus. He pays me for masters of all sorts. I don't receive them, but I give them their wages. It's as if I've taken my lesson.
De Vandore
She'll become a Ninon, a Marion Delorme, an Asposia. We'll make the necessary expenses.
Call boy
Madame, they're going to start.
Rosimene
Good! Good! The public can wait a bit. I have to get ready. I haven't washed today.
(Celinda and the Duke enter.)
Celinda
My dear little one, don't get so heated up. Your corsage is decidedly soiled with sweat.
All
Celinda!
Celinda
You are not dancing tonight. I'm taking my role back.
Rosimene
That's unworthy, that's horrible. I have rights which I will stand on —and my costume which cost me my eyeballs.
Celinda
That's Mr. de Vandore's concern.
Chevalier (going to Celinda)
Is it to your ghost I speak, Celinda? In any case, no one has ever seen a more graceful shade.
Celinda
It's indeed me, Chevalier. Commander, I invite you for tonight. We will party like crazy until morning. I will try not to put you to sleep.
Commander (leaving Rosimene)
I will be more awake than a bird of dawning.
Celinda
Marquis, I have to excuse my wrongs. Before, I slandered your wit and your legs. Come, I will be charming.
Marquis (going to Celinda's side)
A smile from your mouth makes one forget stinging words.
Celinda (aside)
Shall I take her de Vandore from her? No, he's too ugly and too stupid. Let's leave him to her. Clemency sits well on grand souls.
Call boy
Madame, it's your turn.
Celinda
Goodbye, gentlemen. Till later. Duke, come get me after my dance. You will escort me home.
Chevalier
I told you that this mawkishness wouldn't last. Good blood cannot lie.
CURTAIN

---

A FALSE CONVERSION, Or Good Blood Never Lies

By Theophile Gautier

Etext by Dagny

Scene I.

Scene II.

Scene III.

Etext by Dagny

This Etext is for private use only. No republication for profit in 
print or other media may be made without the express consent of the 
Copyright Holder. The Copyright Holder is especially concerned about 
performance rights in any media on stage, cinema, or television, or 
audio or any other media, including readings for which an entrance fee 
or the like is charge. Permissions should be addressed to: Frank 
Morlock, 6006 Greenbelt Rd, #312, Greenbelt, MD 20770, USA or 
[email protected]. Other works by this author may be found at 
http://www.cadytech.com/dumas/personnage.asp?key=130

Translated and Adapted by Frank J. Morlock C 1998

Characters:
Florine
Duke
Chevalier
Mr. de Vandore
Commander
Marquis
Celinda
Rosimene
St. Albin
Suzon

Scene I.

Florine
My dear lords, I can only repeat to you what I've already said. My mistress is not here.
Duke
That is the utmost falsity. I saw her leaning out of her window.
Chevalier
I will only believe she's not here if she comes to tell us so herself.
Duke
Does she take us for creditors or men or letters, who come to offer their dedications?
De Vandore
We are not jokers or scoundrels. Those appellations are not our concern. Gentlemen, you don't know the correct way of questioning serving girls. (pulling out his purse) Now, Florine, be frank, is your mistress home?
Florine
Yes, sir.
De Vandore
I knew quite well I'd get her to speak.
Chevalier
How cruel to conceal herself from friends like us who have never missed one of her suppers. What ingratitude!
De Vandore
Have us in, little one.
Florine
Your eloquence is, indeed, persuasive, sir. But I find myself, much to my regret, forced to keep your purse without opening the door to you.
De Vandore
For God's sake, Florine. You are worse than Cerberus. You take the gift, but you don't allow anyone to pass!
Florine
I know my duty.
Duke
Since this is the way things stand, I've decided to lay siege to the house. I am going to dig a tunnel under the gate or tunnel a mine right into Celinda's alcove. I know where she is, thank God.
Florine
The Duke is a terrible man.
De Vandore (aside)
I really want to return to pay court to Rosimene. It's true, she's received me very coldly. To be pushed out or not to be admitted—the chance being equal—I'll stay. My God, in a century of conception, it's difficult to have an affair of the heart.
Chevalier
Come on, Florine. Don't be strict with us. It's not like you to be cruel.
Florine
You like to have things repeated. My mistress is here, it's true. But it is as if she weren't. Madame does not wish to receive anyone. Neither today, nor tomorrow, nor the day after. She's determined. From now on, we shall live far from the noise of the world in an inaccessible solitude.
Duke
We'll put things straight. We don't wish to spend our lives dying of boredom. We will pursue Celinda until the end of her Odyssey. What the devil! After having shown her friends such a pretty face, full of lilies and roses, one cannot make them kiss a face of oak studded with steel nails.
Commander
Celinda, the pearl of our suppers. Celinda, who so cheerfully wet her pretty, rosy lips in the foam of champagne less sparkling than she.
Marquis
Celinda, who sang so well, verses over dessert which amused us so much! Celinda, this smile of our joy, this star of our mad nights.
Chevalier
She's retiring from the world.
Duke
She, a hermit—and virtuous!
Chevalier
It's ignoble.
Duke
It's monstrous.
De Vandore
What will you do, shut up like that? How will you pass the time?
Florine
We will read The Social Contract and we will study philosophy.
Commander
I will wager your philosophy has mustaches and spurs.
Marquis
Celinda is in love with a negro or a poet—at the least.
Duke
What an example of her type.
Chevalier
Bah! Celinda is a girl who has sentiments and who only likes good things. It's a caprice which cannot last.
Commander
What will we do to ruin ourselves?
Marquis
She had an inventive fantasy to dry up, in a year, the richest vein of mines in Peru. We must now find a way of spending our money ourselves. Her absence will be cruelly felt. You won't believe me, because it is so ridiculous, but is' more than fifteen years since I have—I don't know what to do with my money. Hey, Duke, do you want me to loan you a thousand pounds?
Duke
Thanks, I am gambling from noon to midnight to save myself from a pecuniary congestion.
Marquis
We must be careful. The situation is grave. See rather this great financier, he's stuffed with pounds, doubloons up to his blazoned throat, contending with all the troubles of the world. He'll explode one of these days. He'll die of melted gold.
Duke
Only Celinda can prevent such misfortunes.
Chevalier
What shall we do with ourselves today?
Duke
Faith, I don't know, my boy. I had set myself on the idea of spending the evening with Celinda. Devil if I can think of an alternative.
Commander
By God, let's stay. If Celinda doesn't want to be here, it's not our fault. We are almost at home here, anyway.
Duke
I gave her the house.
Commander
I bought the furniture.
Marquis
I, the livery and the carriages.
Chevalier
We're here in a hotel—furnished.
All
By us.
Commander
Let's stay.
Chevalier
Here are cards. Let's play whist.
Florine
What are you thinking of, gentlemen? You are forgetting you are not at home.
Duke
On, the contrary, my sweet, we are remembering. What's the stake, Chevalier?
Chevalier
A gold crown, to begin.
Florine
Gentlemen, please.
Chevalier
If you say one more word, Florine, we'll make you kiss Mr. de Vandore, who is at his absolute ugliest today.
Florine
I give up. I'm going to tell my mistress what is happening.
Duke
It would really be a crime to allow a pretty thing like Celinda to adopt the customs of savages and goths—let's keep her, despite herself, on the right path—and not permit her to deviate from the traditions of an elegant lifestyle.
Chevalier
Here she is herself, our obstinacy had its effect.
(Enter Celinda.)
Duke
Well, beautiful, here you are again. Here you see a Duke, a Marquis, a Commander, a Chevalier, and even a financier who are dying in your absence. Where does this savage cruelty come from that renders you insensible to the sighs of such adorers? This poor Chevalier has lost what little sense he had. He neglects himself and doesn't curl his hair more than three times a day—and wears the same watch for a week. He's a lost man.
Celinda
Sir, stop your joking. I am not in the mood to endure it. And, tell me why you remain in my house by force and against my orders? Is it because I am a dancer and you are a Duke?
Duke
My despair has made me impolite. Having no other way, I took it.
Chevalier
You are lacking in respect to all Paris.
Commander
The universe is very embarrassed in its person and doesn't know what to do.
Duke
If you knew how stupid de Vandore has become since he no longer sees you.
Celinda
You absolutely want me to leave. This obstinacy is strange. To want to visit people despite themselves!
Commander
Bad girl! Can anyone live without you?
Celinda
I assure you that I have not the least wish to see you and that I will never break down your door. Please leave, it's the only pleasure you could give me.
De Vandore (aside)
Oh, the little demon! Decidedly, I won't speak to her of my Florine, and I'll keep for a better time this little song I wrote on the back of a fifty thousand pound bank draft which I brought specially in my pocket. I think, really, that Rosimene is still in a mood less harsh. I feel I don't know what desire to return there.
Chevalier
This is unfriendly. To treat us this way, your best friends.
Celinda
You are not my friends, I hope, although you fill my house. Henceforth, my days shall be in a retreat. I never want to see anyone again.
Duke
“Anyone,” right? But, I'm someone.
Celinda
Let me live the way I fancy. Forget me. That won't be difficult for you. Enough others will replace me. You have Dupline, Fausena, Lendameny, the whole of the opera, the comedy. They will receive you with open arms. I've amused you enough. I've sung enough, danced enough, at your parties and suppers. What do you want from me? You've had my gaiety, my smile, my beauty, my talent. Can I take them away from you? You knew how to pay for all this with handfuls of gold. What does it matter to me how bored you are? Besides, I wouldn't amuse you any more. My character has totally changed. I've felt the emptiness of this brilliant frivolity. From having known others too much, the taste for simple pleasures has come to me. I want to reflect and think. That's enough to tell you there can no longer be anything in common between us.
Chevalier
Is it Celinda who's talking this way?
Celinda
Yes, me! What's so surprising in that? It no longer pleases me to laugh. I don't laugh. I no longer wish to see anyone. I shut my door. That's all.
Commander
What a singular caprice—to extinguish at the moment of its greatest luster, one of the most luminous stars in the heaven of the Opera.
Celinda
Nothing could be simpler. I diverted you and you did not divert me. Do you think, Duke, that it is so agreeable to see the Marquis for an entire evening slouching in an armchair, dangling his legs, pulling a little mirror from his pocket, and making the cutest faces at himself.
Duke
Indeed, it's not very gay.
Celinda
And you, Chevalier, do you find the Duke, who only speaks of his hounds, his horses and his carriages, and who is in love with everything regarding the stable, a very entertaining person? That would drive an English groom to despair.
Chevalier
It's true that conversation is not the Duke's forte.
Celinda
Commander, you are but the shadow of yourself. Your principal merit consists in being a great eater and a great drinker. You're not a man, you're a stomach. You've become a turkey, and only six bottles trouble your head. You go to sleep after dinner. Well, sleep at home.
De Vandore
How appearances are deceiving. I, who thought her so sweet and charming.
Celinda
As for Mr. de Vandore, he's a sack of money with clothes and lace. Let him hide it in a strong box. That's his plan.
All
Well said, well said. She always had a devilish wit.
Duke
You don't wish to come to Marly?
Celinda
No.
Chevalier
At the musical concert being given where one hears this famous foreign singer—
Celinda
No, I tell you.
Commander
I've just received from Perigord certain truffles which are not bad, washed down with a little wine. I have, in a corner of my wine cellar known to me alone— Come, sup with us.
Celinda
No, no, a thousand times no. I no longer wish to live with strawberries and cream. All your poisoned dishes don't tempt me.
Commander
Poisoned dishes! Truffles of the first choice! Don't repeat what you just said or you will lose your reputation. For you to hold such strange opinions, something strange must have happened to your wits. You've been reading bad books, or you are amorous—which is in bad taste and good only for dressmakers.
Celinda
They won't go! If they should meet St. Albin!
Duke
You are burning with an impure love for someone of questionable birth that you dare not produce. A shop boy, a soldier, a newspaper man. Take care, Celinda, you cannot descend below a Baron. You must be a Duchess or a Queen to permit yourself the caprice of a lackey or a poet—without there being evil consequences. All that I say to you is in your interest. Gentlemen, since Celinda is so inhospitable today, come spend the evening with me. We will drink. And for desert, Lindamuso and Rosimene will dance on the table to the accompaniment of broken glasses. Madame, I cast my regrets at your feet.
De Vandore
I still want to slip my stanzas to her—
(Exeunt all except Celinda.)
Celinda
Gone at last! That was difficult. They were used to being more at home here than in their own homes. Ah, my dear Marquis, how I hate you with all my soul. They were born insolent. Why didn't I notice it until today? They were always this way. I alone have changed. Celinda— Celinda is no more. A new woman has been born in me. Since I read Rousseau, my eyes have opened. I've never loved. I'd never met St. Albin. That young man with an honest soul, with an enthusiastic heart, who declaims so eloquently in my boudoir, of the conception of cities, and the innocence of rural life. If these imbeciles had known how I adore a young preceptor named, quite simply, St. Albin, who doesn't even powder his hair—there would be so many taunts, so many jibes. But, time presses. Tonight, I must break these bonds. I've written the management breaking my engagement. Let's return these presents, the rewards of guilty weaknesses. (ringing) Florine, take this bracelet back to the Duke and this choker to the Chevalier.
(St. Albin enters.)
Celinda
Finally! I thought you weren't coming.
St. Albin
I'm early.
Celinda
My heart is always ahead of time. No one saw you?
St. Albin
No one. The street was deserted.
Celinda
It's not that I blush over you—even were you a Duke or slave trader— but I fear for my happiness. Our great dull Lords would never pardon me for being happy.
St. Albin
Are you still surrounded by their obsessions?
Celinda
Still! But, I've taken my leave. For you, I abandon glory, the stage, fortune. I am leaving the theatre.
St. Albin
You are renouncing the Opera.
Celinda
It bores me to live in clouds and mythological glories. I abdicate. From goddess, I've become a woman again. I will only be beautiful for you, sir.
St. Albin
How can I show gratitude for such an act of love?
Celinda
Rehearsals will no longer disturb our meetings. We will have forever to love each other.
St. Albin
Yes, my all-beautiful. Twenty-four hours a day is not enough.
Celinda
We will live in the country, all by ourselves in a little cottage. We will realize Rousseau's ideal. We'll have cows that I will milk myself.
St. Albin
It will be charming. You've understood me. The pastoral life has always been my dream.
Celinda
Sundays, we'll dance with the villagers. I'll wear a simple ribbon in my hair.
St. Albin
But, you mustn't forget yourself and execute a pirouette or do a bump and grind.
Celinda
Have no fear. I will quickly forget the graceful footwork. I was born to be a shepherdess.
St. Albin
To feel the earth, to watch the flocks. That's the true destiny of man. Paris, city of mud and smoke, I shall leave you forever.
Celinda
Let us flee far from a corrupt society.
St. Albin
I've already had some clothes made. The village tailors are so clumsy. But, who cares about the cut of one's suit? Virtue alone makes a man happy.
Celinda
Virtue, accompanied by a little love. Come, darling, my carriage is waiting.
St. Albin
I have to write the family whose children I am raising after Rousseau's methods of an imperious necessity which forces me to renounce these philosophic duties.
Celinda
Perhaps, in our retreat you will have the opportunity to exercise your talents. Ah, I will not be an unnatural mother. Our child will not suck mercenary milk.
(They leave.)
BLACKOUT

Scene II.

A month later. A hermitage near Montmorency.

St. Albin
How will you dress to go to this country feast? There will be some city women there. Will you wear your diamonds?
Celinda
The flowers of the field will be my diamonds. I don't want those gorgeous ornaments which make me remember what I ought to forget. I've sent back the jewels to those who gave them to me.
St. Albin
Sublime! (aside) It's a shame. I loved the blue lights that the stones gave off in the candlelight. (aloud) And your lace?
Celinda
Sold. I gave the money to the poor. They'd be torn to pieces by the thorns of bushes and roses.
St. Albin
Lace is really nice at the end of a dress.
Celinda
Shall I drag my skirt in prairie dust? A dress of English cotton, streaked with red, a straw hat. That will be my outfit.
St. Albin
You must put on a little rouge. You are pale.
Celinda
The crystal water of the springs will suffice to revive color in my cheeks.
St. Albin
I am still of the opinion that a touch of rouge under the eye lights up your face, and a bit of lipstick. Are you bringing your perfume? The villagers sometimes have a strong odor.
Celinda
Violets on my breast will be my only perfume.
St. Albin
I appreciate the violets, but perfume has its charm.
Celinda
A perfidious charm which intoxicates and disturbs. Nature disdains all such vain refinements.
St. Albin
Come as you like. You will always be pretty. (taking his hat)
Celinda
Are you going out again?
St. Albin
I haven't put a foot outside for ages.
Celinda
You were gone all day yesterday.
St. Albin
Was it yesterday I went to Paris? It seems so long ago.
Celinda
What you said was not very gallant.
St. Albin
You really have a bad disposition. I spoke without thinking. Goodbye. I am going for a walk and, in the depths of the forest, I'll meditate the true way of making people happy.
(Exit St. Albin. Enter Florine.)
Florine
Oh, that wicked beast of a cow! She ran right off with my bonnet and knocked over a pail of milk in the stable. We won't have any cream to make cheese and we'll have to go two leagues to get some elsewhere. Long live Paris, where you can get what you want.
Celinda (dreaming)
The Opera must be playing today.
Florine
Yes. And Rosimene is dancing your dances.
Celinda
Rosimene—dancing my dances. A creature like that. Only good enough to play in the chorus.
Florine
She's intrigued a lot. Now she's the lead dancer.
Celinda
Who told you that? It's impossible.
Florine
You know that young painter who likes me. I met him the other day and he persuaded me to pose for him—as a wood nymph. While I was posing, he told me all the scandals of the green room.
Celinda
But she's all superficiality. She's stolen two balusters from some balcony to make her legs.
Florine
De Vandore has done mad things for her. He gave her a hotel in the suburbs. And magnificent plate, and the other day, she was in a carriage with four horses and an enormous coachman and three gigantic lackeys running behind. A train for a Princess of the blood.
Celinda
She's a horror. She's a bit of flesh held together with hooks and eyes.
Florine
When I think that madame, who is so well made, has buried herself completely in a frightful desert for love of a small young man, handsome enough it is true, but without the least stability.
Celinda (frightened)
Florine, Florine, look.
Florine
What's wrong?
Celinda
A toad has come in through the open door and comes skipping over the floor.
Florine
The frightful beast! With his big popping eyes, he frightfully resembles Mr. de Vandore.
Celinda
I am going to faint. Florine, don't abandon me in this extreme peril.
Florine
Where are the tongs? I can catch him by a paw and throw him delicately over the wall.
Celinda
Take care he doesn't hurl his venom in your face.
Florine
Fear nothing. I am brave. Soon we'll be rid of this importunate visitor.
Celinda
I breathe. The description of hermitages by authors do not speak of toads who want to slide into your privacy.
Florine
I always told you, madame, that authors are imbeciles. The country is made for peasants, and not for persons well brought up.
Celinda
Good God! A wasp is buzzing against the window. If it were to sting me!
Florine
With two or three passes with my handkerchief, I am going to try to make him fall to the ground. We'll crush him then.
(Florine kills the wasp.)
Celinda
What perils and what needles. It's frightful to be pursued this way by evil animals. Yesterday, I found an enormous spider in my curtains.
Florine
The country has to be populated by animals, since people, necessarily, are in the city.
Celinda
It seems to me that my flesh burns. I'm afraid of being struck by a beam of sunlight if I water the flowers in the garden without a hat.
Florine
Madame's skin is always of an admirable whiteness.
Celinda
You think so?
Florine
It's not like that Rosimene's, with her red tint and her yellow neck. I'd like to have the money she spends on makeup and powder.
Celinda
I hear Suzon's wooden shoes. She's in a hurry. Something extraordinary must have happened.
(Enter Suzon.)
Suzon
Madame, excuse my entrance like this, without a word of warning, into your beautiful room, as if in a pigsty. There's a handsome gentleman who wishes to speak to you.
Florine
Show in the handsome gentleman.
Celinda
No! No!
Florine
It will amuse us. I'll be so happy to see a human face.
(Enter the Duke.)
Celinda
Heavens! The Duke!
Florine
Milord! What? Is it you?
Duke
Myself, charming savage. I've found you again. It's been three weeks that my secret agents have canvassed the country to ferret you out.
Florine
The fact is—we are at the end of the world.
Duke
You must hate me a lot, naughty girl, for you to expatriate yourself so as not to see me. By the way, here's the diamond you sent me back as if I were a tradesman. A person of quality never takes back what's he has given.
Celinda
Sir!
Florine
Only men of birth behave like that!
Duke
You have a caprice for this little dandy. It's not worth the bother to flee people for that. A man of wit understands everything. I would have arranged things so as not to meet St. Albin, or rather—better to present him to me and I would have sponsored him, if he had some merit. A pretty woman is allowed to have a philosopher as she is allowed to have a poodle. It doesn't make much difference.
Celinda
St. Albin knew how to inspire me with love of virtue.
Duke
Him! I shouldn't speak ill of him, for I'd have the air of a dismissed rival, but this dear gentleman is not what he appears to be—or, as they say in the novels, I am much deceived.
Florine
I am of the Duke's opinion. Mr. St. Albin has attractions which are not becoming to a patriarchal and rustic man.
Celinda
Florine—
Duke
My dear Celinda, I love you more than you could suspect from my light tone and frivolous manners. I've never spoken to you in high flown phrases, yet I've made sacrifices for you which many a romantic and pompous lover would hesitate to perform—not to mention two or three little duels—so you could crush all your rivals. So that your feminine vanity would not suffer, I've mortgaged my ancestral estates, and your divine beauty has expanded splendidly amidst marvels of luxury and art. This sell-off has made you shine double. And while only speaking of dogs and horses, I've rejoiced in having rectified all the injustice of fate that made you only a queen of the Opera—when you should have been born on a throne.
Florine
How the Duke expresses himself—with no debt to fashionable books. I don't like lovers who give their lives for their mistress and who refuse her fifty crowns or leave her for some dull wife.
Celinda
Dear Duke, oh, if I had known. Alas, it is too late. St. Albin adores me. I must end my days in this retreat, far from the noise of the world, far from success.
Duke
To renounce your art and glory, for a scribbler who deceives you—I'm sure of it. To let that flabby Rosimene make the boards creak where you so lightly danced—it's unpardonable. The public has such bad taste, it is capable of applauding her.
Celinda
The crowd often takes indecency for sensuality and simpering for grace.
Duke
You have only to reappear to send her back to the chorus—which she should never have left.
Celinda
Why speak of that, since my fate is forever fixed?
Duke
Those are very solemn words.
Suzon (entering with a letter in her hand)
Madame, here's a letter which a boy gave me for you.
Celinda
It's St. Albin's writing. What can it mean? He just left. What can he have to tell me? I tremble. Break the seal. Duke, you'll excuse me?
Duke
Why, of course.
Celinda (reading)
My dear Celinda, What I have to tell you is so embarrassing that I've taken the means of informing you by letter. You may call me perfidious, but I was only unwise. Destiny does not want me to be happy according to my heart's vows. A man simple and virtuous, I was born to be happy in the country—but an unforeseeable event has recalled me to the city. You know I was a tutor. My pupil had a sister who often heard my lessons. What can I tell you? Julie, for that is her name, scorning vile prejudices, soon gave in to the sweet seductions of nature—and finds herself in the position of giving a new citizen to the fatherland. Her parents, noticing their daughter's condition, summon me to repair the outrage to her honor. I've been forced to agree to marry her—and they insist on bestowing a dowry on her of one hundred thousand crowns. This is very annoying to me, for I've always professed to scorn riches and ask only for pure milk under a thatched roof, isn't it? Don't wish me ill, Celinda. An imperious destiny compels me. Try to forget me—nothing prevents you from remaining where you are amidst simple pleasures and days exempt from troubles. Goodbye forever, The Unfortunate St. Albin.
Celinda
The rogue! How he deceived me! oh, I am choking from anger and misery!
Duke
This doesn't surprise me. Romantic men are always committing follies with rich heiresses.
Florine
He's a scoundrel, a libertine, a hypocrite. I've never told madame, but he always hugged me in the dark corridors, and if I'd wanted to— Happily, I have some principles.
Celinda
And I was capable of preferring him to you.
Duke
So much the worse for him if he hasn't resembled your dream.
Florine
Now we no longer have any reason to stay in the country—if we were to return a little to see what the conditions of the land are in Paris—
Celinda
Goodbye—daisies, aromas of green hay, smoke from distant burning leaves—my heart has known pleasures too stimulating to be able to endure your sweet, monotonous chorus.
Duke
Your bucolic interlude is terminated?
Celinda
Yes. Give my your hand and escort me.
Duke
My carriage is exactly at the turn of the road.
Florine
Yea! For a working girl, it's better to have love letters than to milk cows.
(They leave.)
BLACKOUT

Scene III.

The foyer of the Opera.

Rosimene
This imbecile didn't put water in my watering jug. I nearly fell down flopping. My place was clear and shining like a waxed floor.
De Vandore
I'll beat the clown when he comes back.
Chevalier
Miss Rosimene is taken with exquisite taste.
Rosimene
My shirt costs a thousand crowns. Mr. de Vandore has done wonders.
Commander
We are going to dine with you after the ballet. This morning I sent a hamper of game and the recipe for quail.
Rosimene
Oh, I adore quail.
Chevalier (aside)
She adores everything.
Rosimene
I am not a prude like Celinda. I eat and I drink. It's more gay.
Commander
By the way, what's become of Celinda?
De Vandore
She's given herself up to the pleasures of the country and foments cream in a Swiss dairy farm.
Commander
Bad nutrition which ruins the stomach. It's bad enough to suck milk when you're a little kid.
Rosimene
I prefer tonics and highly seasoned dishes. After all, Celinda has always had romantic ideas. She had the defect of reading. I ask you, what's the good of that?
Chevalier
Rosimene, tonight you have such gusto—such pungency, it's incredible how you've improved.
Rosimene
I owe it to my big old Croesus. He pays me for masters of all sorts. I don't receive them, but I give them their wages. It's as if I've taken my lesson.
De Vandore
She'll become a Ninon, a Marion Delorme, an Asposia. We'll make the necessary expenses.
Call boy
Madame, they're going to start.
Rosimene
Good! Good! The public can wait a bit. I have to get ready. I haven't washed today.
(Celinda and the Duke enter.)
Celinda
My dear little one, don't get so heated up. Your corsage is decidedly soiled with sweat.
All
Celinda!
Celinda
You are not dancing tonight. I'm taking my role back.
Rosimene
That's unworthy, that's horrible. I have rights which I will stand on —and my costume which cost me my eyeballs.
Celinda
That's Mr. de Vandore's concern.
Chevalier (going to Celinda)
Is it to your ghost I speak, Celinda? In any case, no one has ever seen a more graceful shade.
Celinda
It's indeed me, Chevalier. Commander, I invite you for tonight. We will party like crazy until morning. I will try not to put you to sleep.
Commander (leaving Rosimene)
I will be more awake than a bird of dawning.
Celinda
Marquis, I have to excuse my wrongs. Before, I slandered your wit and your legs. Come, I will be charming.
Marquis (going to Celinda's side)
A smile from your mouth makes one forget stinging words.
Celinda (aside)
Shall I take her de Vandore from her? No, he's too ugly and too stupid. Let's leave him to her. Clemency sits well on grand souls.
Call boy
Madame, it's your turn.
Celinda
Goodbye, gentlemen. Till later. Duke, come get me after my dance. You will escort me home.
Chevalier
I told you that this mawkishness wouldn't last. Good blood cannot lie.
CURTAIN