"Roberta Gellis - Fires of Winter" - читать интересную книгу автора (Gellis Roberta)

Unlike them, she was not red, nor was her head bald and strangely pointed. Her
cheeks were very pale, almost as if no blood coursed under her skin, and she had
hair, silvery white. And as I gazed at her, she opened her eyes, which were not a
cloudy blue but clear and very, very light, almost silver like her hair. I had never seen
so lovely a babe; my mother's were all ugly when they were newborn, though each
had a certain charm even then, and they grew handsome after a week or two. Audris,
though, was like a faery thing; I shuddered looking at her, wondering if she were
perchance a changeling. It could have happened, I knew, because no one cared
about her and likely no one had been watching.
So fearful was that thought that the flame shook in my hand and I lifted the lamp
away; Audris cried out then, not a raucous howl like my mother's other babes, but a
soft mewling. I made haste to climb the stool again and set the lamp back on its shelf
so I could pat the child silent as my mother had bidden me. In stroking her, I must
have pushed aside the fold of cloth that held one arm, and she worked it free and
found one of my fingers around which her little hand closed softly. I had had that
experience before, but this was different somehow, partly because Audris's grip was
so much gentler than that of the other babes but also, I think, because I knew my
mother could not give away this child, and I hoped I would have someone with
whom to play. It did not occur to me then that, being the lord's daughter, Audris
might merit a finer wet nurse than my mother or might be kept from such as I. I had
seen how little she was regarded and did not then understand the difference between
a whore's bastard and the legitimate daughter of the lord of the keep.
Nonetheless, we were not separated. Partly that was owing to how sure my father
was that this child too would die, and partly it was owing to the fact that he was
busy seeking another wife, out of whom he expected strong sons, who would make
a daughter near worthless. He was much away, and I remember my joy in those
months and remember also feeling that it was Audris who had somehow brought all
my happiness with her. Nor was that all childish foolishness. The nurse of a
nobleman's child has many privileges and an easy life; thus, my mother did not wish
to have Audris taken from her, and she closed her door to the men who were used
to finding it open. That pleased me, for they often disturbed my sleep with their
grunting and groaning and thrashing about, and Audris herself, as she grew stronger,
amused me more and more.
Audris talked and walked early. It was a strange thing to see and hear, for she was
very tiny, no larger man other babes months younger. She was my pass also to
lovely places like the keep garden, where my mother would often set me to watching
her while she washed clothes or did other tasks. And with Audris, I was free to play
by the hearth in the great hall, for we had all moved from our hut to the third floor of
the south tower in the keep a few weeks after Audris came to us. My father had
come to my mother's hut through the first snow of winter, choking in the smoky
interior while he stared at Audris, who was squalling lustily at that momentтАФher
voice having grown strongerтАФand beckoned my mother out. When she returned,
she was laughing softly but triumphantly.
"I have won what I played for. Today we move into the keep." She spoke in her
native tongueтАФmine was French, for though I understood English, I was rarely
allowed to speak it.
And then, during the dog days of August, my father died. Perhaps he brought
home the sickness from some keep or town that he had visited. I knew nothing of it
at the time he died; I have often wondered since I have been a man whether I would
have been glad or whether his loss would have shaken me. I never loved him, yet he