"starsiders_2_bouncing_off_the_moon_by_david_gerrold_v05_unformatted" - читать интересную книгу автора (Gerrold David)
exei was wearing his scuba suit again; it covered his whole body like a giant rubber glove, but he looked odd without fins on his feet. He had a lot of other gear too, a lot of closed equipment that I couldn't tell what it was for, and even a couple of suitcaselike boxes that he wouldn't let anyone else carry. "Isn't that heavy-?" I started to ask, then shut up. Alexei grinned. "You learn fast." He popped open a bright red panel and began pulling out flat packages the size and shape of seat cushions. "Everybody gets his own personal bubble. Read safety instructions , dingalings. No smoking. No shoes with cleats. No handball. Use plastic bags for peeing and pooping. Same as in pod. Put all trash in proper receptacles. If you fart, is your problem, not mine." The bubble had a flexible circular opening just big enough to fit around a full-grown person. Mickey helped me into mine; it was like climbing into a giant condom. I even wondered aloud what would fit into a condom this big. Without missing a beat, Mickey replied, "You know what that makes you ... ?" Once inside the bubble, everything looked blurred through the transparent material. The bubble was made out of three separate layers of Mylar, each one "sturdy enough to support life under conditions of normal usage"-although I wasn't sure what "normal usage" actually meant in these circumstances. Each layer had its own zipper, and they could be opened in series from either inside or out. Alexei showed us how the bubbles were designed so that they could be linked together, so two people could pass things back and forth if they had to, but it was a tricky operation, and he hoped we wouldn't have to. He also showed us how to use the glove-extensions that were designed into the walls of the bubble-that was in case you needed to handle something outside. As soon as everybody was bubbled up, Alexei stepped over to one of the sidewalls of the cargo pod. He put his hands through the plastic gloves-"Always use gloves!" he shouted. "Don't try to push buttons through wall of bubble. Very stupid. You know what we call people who do? Statistics. Okay, I open airlock now." He started pressing buttons on the circular cover of the closest hatch. I watched with interest. Alexei hadn't explained this part. I knew there was no airlock inside this cabin, and there was certainly no airlock on the outside. The only thing on the other side of that bulkhead was hard Lunar vacuum.
The hatch cover popped open and slid sideways on its tracks, revealing -the inside of a matching hatch cover on the other side of the bulkhead. "Okay, get ready for more beautiful clever-" Alexei unclipped a panel on the wall and pulled out two white circular rings, just the right size to fit into the hatch; they held layers of mylar folded over and over into a fat bulge-the whole looked like a plastic tunnel, all collapsed. On each side, there were three zippers, kind of like our bubble suits. Alexei opened one set of zippers, but not the other. He slipped the rings into the space between the two hatches, then began fitting the ring on our side into a deep groove. The edge of the ring was as thick as a tube of toothpaste, but not quite as squishy; Alexei worked his way around the circle, pushing it firmly into place. When he had the ring fitted all the way around the hatch-groove, he reached up above the hatch with one hand and below the hatch with the other, and pulled two matching levers sideways-the edges of the hatch-groove tightened firmly on the ring. Then he went around the circle again-three times, pressing the edge hard and making sure that the grip was firm all the way around. Finally satisfied, he slid the hatch cover back into place and sealed it. "We wait now, for ninety seconds. We wait for seal to harden and test itself. Thirty seconds should be enough, but on Luna we do everything three times safely. Remember, universe does not give first warnings or second chances." We waited in silence. Finally, Alexei looked at his PITA. "Okay, ready?-eighty-eight, eighty-nine, ninety!" He turned to a panel next to the hatch and unclipped its safety cover. He unlocked a second safety cover within and pressed the top button. It lit up, and said, "Armed." He pressed the next button, and it flashed, "Opening." We heard and felt the outer door of the hatch popping open and sliding sideways. Alexei peered through a peephole in the hatch itself, then began turning a small valve next to it. We heard the hissing of air. "I am filling airlock now," he said. "We let air from cabin inflate outside balloon . Very simple. We use cabin air. Waste not, want not. You will notice pressure change, maybe. As we increase space for air, we get lower pressure throughout total environment. Are you noticing? I can feel it. But Loonies are more sensitive than terries. We grow up that way." I watched, but I couldn't tell that anything was happening. After a
bit, the plastic bubbles we wore seemed a little puffier, but not very much. And then my ears popped. The hissing continued slowly. From time to time, Alexei peered through the peephole again, checking to make sure the airlock was inflating properly. I wondered how he could see clearly through the plastic bubble he wore, but apparently he wasn't having any trouble. Our bubbles puffed a little more, but mostly they still hung on us a big plastic bubble. I peered through the hatch in curiosity, to see how it all worked. There were three zippers in the tube so it could be triple-sealed, the same ones Alexei had unzipped before inflating it. Clever. "Make sure your goggles are on tight," advised Mickey. "It's going to get very bright." He reached over and tapped one of my earcups through the plastic. "And don't take these off or you won't be able to hear anything. This is also your communicator." "I'm not stupid-" I started to say. "Sorry, Charles. I didn't mean to suggest you were. It's part of the safety briefing. Required by law and all that. Can you hear me through your headphones? Are you ready?" I nodded. "Good. All right, I'll go first, then Douglas and Bobby, then you, Charles. Alexei will be last. Charles, Douglas-you want to be very careful coming through the hatch; it's all plastic on the other side-I'll help you through. If you feel any resistance, stop. Don't try to push or force your way through. You don't want to risk tearing the Mylar. It's strong, but there have been stupid accidents. Oh, and before you do anything else, put your gloves on and make sure you can do this-" Mickey held up his hands and wriggled his fingers. "Until you're inflated , you want to keep your hands available." He watched carefully to make sure that Douglas and I followed suit. I found the closest set of gloves in my bubble, unzipped the covering patch, and shoved my hands through. The hatch was only a meter and a half wide. Mickey would have
had to bend down to step through it, but instead he scrooched low and dived straight through. He slapped the ground with his hands and bounced gracefully upright, turning around to face us and spreading his arms like an acrobat who'd just completed a difficult trick and was expecting applause. He grinned through the hatch at us. "I can do that." I started to step forward-but Alexei grabbed me by the plastic and pulled me back. "Douglas next," he said. The hatch was almost too small for Douglas-he had four oxygen bottles and two rebreathers strapped to his chest; air for him and Stinky both; and he had Stinky on his back. But it turned out to be a lot easier than I expected. Alexei told Douglas to hold himself straight, then he picked him up, turned him horizontal, and passed him carefully through the hatch like a stick of wood. Together, he and Stinky and all their supplies must have weighed less than fifteen kilograms. All that Alexei had to do was lift, turn, and push. Douglas went right through. Mickey grabbed Douglas on the other side and turned him upright. Through the hatch, I saw the two of them exchange a quick hug. Then it was my turn. I lowered my goggles into place, stepped forward-the body condom made moving a little sluggish, even in low gee-but I was determined to dive through the same way I'd seen Mickey dive. But before I could, Alexei grabbed me, turned me sideways , and threw me through the hatch like a torpedo. Four hands grabbed me on the other side, both Mickey and Douglas at the same time. They stood me up like a cardboard statue. I looked around in amazement. We were inside a big round bubble, almost the size of the cargo pod.Maybe bigger. It was hard to estimate the volume of a giant balloon from the inside. An inflatable airlock! Beautiful clever! Just like Alexei said. The bubble had two portals. The one I'd come through was a tube that led back to the cargo pod. On the opposite side of the airlock, the other portal was still zipped tight. Even as I turned to look back, Alexei was already diving in. He bounced upright, just as Mickey had. Behind him, the pod was a big lumpy shape, a dark cylinder with plump landing balloons sticking out all over it. Beyond the blank wall of the bubble, everything was blurred-of course. I was looking through the plastic bubble I wore and the wall of the airlock at the same time. Even so, I could make out the raw shapes of things, both dark and bright.
Above, the sky was pure black. Impossibly black. To one side, there was a glare so intense I couldn't even turn in that direction-my eyes watered just from the sideways brightness. But to the other side, there was a shining silver land with an impossibly close horizon! I stood and gaped. Uneven rolling surface, broken rocks, jagged lumpy outcrops. A rising wall of mountains off to one side. And everywhere -stark silence! We really were on the moon! Wow! Whatever else happened, I didn't care. Dad had kept his promise, even if he wasn't here, and I was suddenly filled with a rush of hot feelings. I wanted to thank him. He should have been here. He deserved to be here. And for a moment, I wished he were here-I wished I had someone to share this with. Wow was insufficient. This was ... the moon! Did Luna affect everyone this way? And then I started laughing. I suddenly knew why Alexei was so crazy. I understood what it meant to be a Lunatic.
WUNDERSTORM
"WE MUST HURRY." ALEXEI'S VOICE was loud in my ears. It sounded like he was directly behind me; the sound in my earphones was processed to come from the same direction as the broadcast signal, the only audio cues possible on the moon. I turned around to see him sealing the inner hatch of the cargo pod. That was it, the door was shut, we weren't going back. He bounced himself across the bubble to the opposite side-to the other airlock portal. As he began opening the first zipper, he asked, "Who goes first? Mickey, do you want honor? Or you, Charles? Do you want to be first dingaling on moon?" "Huh? Me?" I looked around. Maybe he meant some other Charles ... ? Douglas said, "Go ahead, Chigger. If you want." "Uh-" I was about to say no, I wanted Mickey to go first, but I didn't want to look afraid either. "Okay," I gulped. Before I could change my mind, Alexei pulled me to the outer portal; it was identical to the one we'd just come through, only still folded up tight. "Is close fit," he said. "I walk you through it, one step at a time. No fear, da?" "Da." "Good. Now we open one zipper, one zipper only-like so, da? Nothing more. Not yet." Very carefully, very slowly, he unsealed the first section of the tube. As the first air puffed into it, it inflated out-
ward. "You step into tube now, Charles. No fear, okay?" "Okay." I stepped carefully forward. It was hard to walk while wrapped in a personal bubble-I had to bounce more than walk, but maybe I could do this, with a little practice. Alexei pushed me into the tube. I almost filled it. "Hokay, ready? I zip you up now. Watch how I do this. I pat out as much air as possible. Waste not, want not. You want tube tight around you please." He locked the zipper into place and I was sealed in the tube. "Now turn around and face next zipper, Charles. Unzip it just like I show you. Just like that, da. Very good." The next section of the tube puffed out like the previous one. I stepped into it and began pulling it close to me. As I zipped up the section behind me, I tried hard to keep the plastic close and push as much air as possible back into the tube. "Very good, Charles!" Alexei's voice came mostly through the earphones now. As soon as the second zipper was locked in place, I turned around to the third and last one. This was it. One more step and I'd be alone on the Lunar surface. For a moment, I hesitated.... "Go ahead, Chigger. You can do it." That was Douglas. I was glad he said that. "Is good now, little dingaling. Open last zipper." I swallowed hard. The seal was just in front of my face. All I had to do was grab it, unclick it from its safety catch, and pull it down. But it was more difficult than I thought. Sitting on my head, the monkey suddenly hugged me close. Did it understand? It patted the top of my head three times. Just like Douglas sometimes did. Well, if even the monkey believed in me ... I pulled the zipper down- -and my bubble puffed out around me. I was in a two-meter balloon . My ears popped at the sudden change in pressure. The tube spit me out like a watermelon seed, and I bounced across the Lunar surface , screaming in shock-then laughing in hysterical relief. It was funny. "Don't go bouncing!" Alexei and Mickey both screamed at once. "Stay where you are. Wait for us." "I'm not doing it on purpose!" I shouted back. I turned around to look at them. I was farther away than I thought. Ten meters, at least. I could see how small the cargo pod was-and the inflatable airlock too.
That was a scary moment-not because I worried that we were in any danger, but because for the first time I was separated from everything else. I was alone on the moon. I still had my hands in the gloves of the bubble suit. I went down on one knee and reached out to touch the ground. Armstrong had been right-it was soft and powdery! Strong tears of emotion started welling up in my eyes. Luna! The monkey patted me on the head again, three more times. Just like Douglas. So it wasn't an accident. I stood up and looked around, being careful not to face the glare from the northeastern horizon, where the sun was just creeping over the edge of a rill. It would be creeping over that rill for a long time. Sunrise on the moon was fourteen times longer than sunrise on the Earth. More to the north, there was something large and bright and blue in the black sky. The Earth. How beautiful it was. Half of it was cloaked in shadow, the other half was gleaming with day. Beneath the streaks of white cloud, I could make out the eastern shoreline of Africa. That big lumpy shape was Madagascar, wasn't it? I thought about all the horrors we'd left behind; they must be raging across the planet even now. But it looked so peaceful from here-how could anything on that soft blue world be horrible? It looked so fragile. For a moment, I regretted leaving. If I'd spoken one word differently, we could have all been home by now- Home in a cramped tube. With Mom yelling at us. And the wind whistling overhead. And the whole house vibrating like an organ pipe. No. I wouldn't have traded this moment for anything. The moon. I wished I could have said something more meaningful, but it all just came out as a single syllable-wow. I'd seen people talk about this on television-that sense of awe that you feel whenever you arrive on a new world. Ferris, the most famous astronaut of all, said it best. "It doesn't matter how many previous landings you've made. Every landing is different, and every time, you're filled with a flood of so many different emotions at once, so powerful and so profound, that the only word that comes close to describing it is wunderstorm." Once he came to our school and he talked about the first landing
on Mars. He compared it to looking at a landscape by van Gogh- Wheatfield with Crows. The first time you look at it, what you see is startling, and then it's even more startling, and then as you start to look at it closely, you realize just how startling it really is. The light is different-not wrong, different. And after a bit of puzzling, you begin to realize that this is an uncompromising vision; it isn't going to meet you halfway. You have to go all the way there or not at all. You have to surrender to it, because you can't change it. And then, only when you accept it on its own terms, can you see how beautiful it really is. I could understand that. It's kind of like the music of Stravinsky or Coltrane or Hendrix. The first time you hear it, it doesn't make sense. You have to learn how to listen to it. Eventually, you have to accept it for what it is, not for what you think it should be. And now I could see that the moon is like that too. It is what it is. Everything is different than what you're used to. Not wrong, different. The sky, the light, the horizon, even the shapes of rocks. Even the way the ground rolls away is different. Everything. Uncompromising. Scary. Harsh. Hostile. Beautiful. Wunderstorm .. . "Luna to Charles, Luna to Charles. Come in, Charles.... ?" "Huh?" I turned around. The unreality of everything was getting more intense, not less. Mickey was already out of the inflatable airlock; he was standing in his own two-meter bubble, helping Douglas through the exit tube. Stinky was a big inert bulge on Douglas's back. Douglas unzipped the third zipper and puffed out into the Lunar vacuum like a big piece of popcorn. He didn't go bouncing across the ground like I did-Mickey caught him head-on, and they bounced back only a meter. Alexei was the last one out of the balloon. He puffed up, but he didn't bounce at all. Obviously, he'd had a lot of experience. He hop- skipped around to where the airlock was still connected to the cargo pod and began zipping shut the seals of the connection tube. "What's Alexei doing?" I asked. "I am disconnecting airlock," he called. "But why? What if we have to get back in the pod?" "We are not coming back to pod. It won't be here anyway. But if we did need to reenter, is another airlock package here by outside hatch." He slapped the hull of the pod. Alexei pushed the bubble up against the cargo hull to force as much air into the main part of the inflatable as he could, collapsing and
sealing each section of the tube in turn. When the tube was folded back into itself and all three connections were secure, he turned to the hatch of the cargo pod. He reached up and down at the same time and grabbed two levers matching the ones on the inside of the pod. He yanked them sideways and the slot in the hatch ring widened, releasing its grip on the circular ring of the airlock. Then he worked the ring loose carefully. Once it was clear, he pushed it up against the wall of the inflatable, securing it with Velcro patches. The airlock sat alone on the barren Lunar soil, a big bulbous blob of air-like a single drop of water perched on a waxy leaf. We didn't have to worry about it blowing away, of course, but the ground wasn't very level, and if it started rolling downhill, it might start bouncing, and it could go quite a distance. It might even rip or puncture . But Alexei turned around, grinning. "Who wants to hold leash? Charles? Is good job for you, da?" "Huh?" "We take airlock with us. You never know when you might need a roomful of air. Waste not, want not, da?" I was beginning to hate that. I wanted to waste something, just for spite. He bounded over to me in that peculiar Lunar hop-skip of his. He trailed a length of flat ribbon, which he slapped onto one of the Velcro pads on the outside of my bubble suit. "There. You will bring plastic house. Is everybody ready to go? Hokay, we practice Luna walk. Pay attention, dingalings. Bounce on balls of feet like this, da? Not too high. Cannot walk in bubble, have to hop-skip, have to bounce. Looks easy, da? Is not. Is tricky. Alternate feet-bounce on one, bounce on other- hop-skip. No, Charles-keep hands in gloves. Helps keep bubble upside up. See bottom side? Extra thick-heavy on bottom to keep bottom side down. Bounce on padding, less risk to rip or puncture. Hold bubble upright by keeping hands in front gloves and bounce, hop-skip-watch, now!" He came bounding toward me. He looked like a silver beetle trapped inside a glass onion. But he made very good time, bouncing and skipping across the dark silvery dust. "You will learn quickly. But try not to fall down. You don't want to dust your bubble." "Why not?"
"Because then everybody will know you are clumsy dingaling. They will know you are just arrive here." He turned away to see how Douglas and Mickey were doing. "Yes, just like that," he called. They were bouncing slightly on the balls of their feet, testing their weight in the soft Lunar gravity. They moved in slow motion-almost like dancers. I thought of Tchaikovsky and the "Waltz of the Flowers." No, the other one-the "Waltz of the Snowflakes." Only these snowflakes were silvery and danced inside giant transparent Christmas tree ornaments . We must have looked very silly, but at the same time beautiful in a Lunar kind of way. "All right, everybody ready? Let us go. Take small steps first. Get used to Lunatic-walking. Learn to walk before learning to bounce. Follow me. Holler if I go too fast." He pointed southward and went bounding off. Douglas followed, little steps first, then as he felt more comfortable, he began taking bigger hops. Mickey looked back to me. "Come on, Charles-" I took one last look at the bright blue marble of the Earth. It was directly behind us. And then I followed. The inflatable airlock came bouncing after me like an oversize balloon.
A WALK IN THE DARK
WE DIDN'T GET VERY FAR-just to the top of the first hill. And it wasn't much of a hill. Alexei made us stop so he could check our re- breathers and our air supplies again. We were all fine, but if any of us had needed personal attention, he would have taken us into the inflatable so he could open our bubbles. Even if we didn't have the inflatable with us, he could have still joined any two bubbles together at their openings. But nobody needed immediate attention,. and I was glad about that. Once that was finished, Alexei turned and faced the distant cargo pod. From here it looked pitifully small in a very large landscape. Despite the nearness of the horizon, once you gained a little height, the moon could be a very large place. As Alexei had told us, there were no footprints leading away from the pod-just occasional soft dimples in the Lunar dust where we'd bounced along. A skilled tracker would be able to follow the trail of depressions, but only if the dust was thick enough and the shadows were right. "Might want to shield eyes," Alexei said, and did something to his PITA. "Huh? Why?" That was Douglas. "Watch." He pointed. In the distance, the cargo pod shuddered. It jerked upright-then a flare of dazzling white appeared underneath it, and the cargo pod lifted away from the gray plain. "What are you doing, Alexei?"
"I hide the evidence." The bright flame of the pod sputtered in the sky and went out. "It will come down again, thirty or forty klicks west of here. In darkest shadow, very rough terrain, very uneven. Hard to find, harder to get to. When trackers come looking for pod, maybe they will look in wrong place first, lose valuable time, da?" I couldn't see the pod anymore. Either the skin of the bubble was too blurry, or the pod was too dark, or the sky was too black. Without the flame, it was gone. I wondered if we'd feel the crash, or if it would bounce down again. Either way ... we were truly alone on the moon now. I shuddered- and it wasn't just from the cold seeping up through my feet. Mickey must have seen how scared I was. He took a half skip toward me, close enough to press his bubble against mine. He grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. Then he whispered, "Are you going to be okay, Charles?" "Yes." "You sure?" "This isn't like the pod. We're on solid ground. I'll be fine." "Do you want me to stay close to you, just in case?" "Uh-if you want to." "I'll do that." "Okay." "Thank you, Charles." "You can call me Chigger." Behind the goggles, under the silver poncho, it was hard to see what anyone was thinking, but Mickey's sudden bright smile was clear. "Thanks, kiddo." "Hokay," said Alexei. "We go. Everybody, on the bounce-come, we must hurry-" "How far is it?" I asked. "How long will it take to get there? Where are we going-?" "Thirty klicks, give or take some. Six hours, maybe. We go catch train. No more talk. Use up oxygen. Follow me, this way-" It wasn't that hard to hop-skip across the Lunar surface. It just took a little practice to find the right rhythm. After a bit, Douglas and I were just as good as Alexei and Mickey. The four of us bounced along like a bunch of Happy Flubbies from that god-awful kid show that Stinky used to like so much. For a while, Douglas and I were even shouting, "Boinng! Boinnnnng! Ba-boing-boinnngg!" with every
bounce-at least, until Mickey started singing. "It's a small world, after all ..." and Alexei threatened to puncture all of us. But it was exhilarating great fun-it was kind of like skipping and kind of like hopping and kind of like flying, but mostly like nothing I'd ever done before. The feeling of speed and power and strength-it made me feel like Superman, like there was nothing I couldn't do. I started laughing and shrieking and giggling-so hard, I couldn't stop- That's when Alexei called the first rest break, and the first thing he did was check my oxygen balance to see if I was getting too much or too little, or what. "You are too light-headed." He looked surprised to find that my rebreather settings were all fine, even allowing for the increased exertion of bouncing. "I'm laughing because it's fun," I said. "You remember fun, don't you?" "We have six hours to go, little dingaling." He frowned. "Will you still have laughter thirty klicks from now?" "I bet I will," I promised. "You were right-I like Luna." "Do not get overconfident!" he snapped at me. "Overconfidence kills. You will not make very pretty corpse-and I have no intention of dragging you across Luna for burial." Alexei was suddenly very unhappy and very grumpy. None of us had ever seen him this way before. Had he heard something on his radio? He seemed to realize it himself; he turned back to me, and spoke in a gentler tone. "Just concentrate on being safe. Is too dangerous to have fun here. Hokay, break over. Pay attention-see tall rock to left, with head sticking up into sun? We head toward notch, just to right. We stay in shadow. Let's go-on the bounce." After that, it wasn't as much fun. After the novelty wore off, it was just something to do. But there was a lot to see-and I wished we could just stop and look at stuff sometimes. Some of the rocks glittered , and I wanted to pick them up and take them with me, but we didn't have sample bags, and the first time I stopped, Alexei yelled at me again, so I didn't do that anymore. To say that the scenery on the moon looks different is an understatement -kind of like saying the Titanic had a rough crossing. Everything on the moon is different. But it's the kinds of differences that are surprising. There's no wind or water erosion on the moon, so all the rocks look scruffier and the ground looks harder. It's hard to explain . You have to see it in person. Even pictures don't work.
Mostly we were in shadow. To the east, the sun was lurking just beneath the edge of a long broken rill. A couple of times we had to dart through streaks of sunlight, and once in a while, if we bounced too high, the sudden sideways glare felt like a hammer blast. A couple of times, Alexei said, "Gohvno!" and once he said, "Chyort!" which sounded even worse. I assumed it was in reaction to the intensity of the sunlight, but I didn't ask. It could have been anything. His dark mood was headed toward pure black. Every fifteen minutes we stopped to rest for five, no matter where we were-unless it was in sunlight. I didn't ask why; it wasn't too hard to figure out. Our silvery ponchos could keep us warm against the cold Lunar night and they could reflect away some of the intermittent sunlight that hit us, but they couldn't cool us off in the direct glare of the sun. Every time we stopped, Alexei checked my rebreather, and Mickey checked Douglas's. I protested that I could look at my own numbers, but both of them cut me off at the same time. Safety demanded that everyone check everyone else's settings. By the time of our fourth rest break, it was pretty much routine. Mickey had taught Douglas and me how to read the rebreather displays , so now all four of us were checking each other at every stop. Alexei even showed us how to share our air in an emergency. The rebreathers had tubes that could connect directly through special valves on the front of the bubble suit. If someone needed air in a hurry, you could just plug right in. But you had to make sure the connection was secure or you could explosively evacuate your rebreather. "Useful only if you want to become a self-propelled object." So far, our oxygen use was just about what Alexei had expected. We would have enough to get where we were going-if we didn't make any wrong turns, and if we didn't have to double back to go around something. The problem was, the ground was getting rougher. We were approaching a place where two craters overlapped; the wall of one was broken by the wall of the other. The only way to get to where we were going would be to cross some very uneven terrain. But we had to do it. We had to get out of the crater we were in and onto the plain beyond. Alexei finally admitted he was worried. But we already knew that. The more he studied the display on his PITA, the worse his language got. I asked Mickey if he knew what Alexei was saying, but all he would
translate was, "Your mother was a hamster," which didn't make any sense at all. Mickey stayed close to Douglas; I think he was worried about Stinky, but Douglas could reach back and squeeze Stinky's arm or his leg and report, "He's still warm. He's still breathing," and that was as good as we could hope for right now. What we really hoped was that he wouldn't wake up until we got to where we were going. The train station, or whatever it was, Alexei had picked out. For some reason, I wasn't scared anymore. I felt like I should have been, but I wasn't. We were off the Line, off the map, very far from anywhere safe, about as alone as we could be-and I felt fine. I wondered if other people felt this same way on Luna-alone and free at the same time. The only sound was the sound of my breathing, and the distant noises of everyone else grunting across the ground playing through my earphones. The bitter cold of the ground tried to seep through the bottom of the bubble, but the poncho kept radiating, and the air in the bubble stayed just warm enough. The light from beyond the rill was bothersome, but my goggles adjusted themselves to block the worst of it. I felt fine. I thought about that. I should have been worried. I should have been scared. But I wasn't. Why not? Because I was safe with Douglas? Maybe. That was part of it, I'm sure. But maybe it was more because there wasn't anyone else around to tell me what to do or where to go or who to be. It wasn't the silence outside that was so wonderful. It was the silence inside-the freedom from all those voices that weren't mine. It was like when I used to go up in the hills away from the tube- town, so I could listen to my music. It wasn't just the music. It was the silence. This was such a sudden realization, I stopped in mid-bounce. Wherever we finally ended up, it had to be a place where I could have silence every day. A place where I could listen to my own thoughts.
CLIMBING THE WALL
AT THE SIXTH REST STOP, Alexei made us all eat half an MRE-the red one marked high-energy pack. It was made with lots and lots of high-energy stuff-like hydrogen, kerosene, Palmer-chips, and plutonium . It tasted exactly like its list of ingredients, only not as good. At the seventh rest stop, Alexei tied us all together with a nylon cord. There was a loop on the front and back of each bubble, and he secured the line through both loops. He put himself in the lead, me directly behind, then Douglas, then Mickey bringing up the rear. The inflatable airlock bounced along behind Mickey. We were heading uphill now, and the slope was getting steeper and trickier. He didn't want anyone slipping and bouncing away. "If you roll downhill and get big puncture and lose all your air," he told me as he secured the cord, "I will be very unhappy. It will ruin my whole day. So I keep you close. We go slowly now. No more bouncing. Just tiny hop-steps. Very careful." I took his warnings to heart and stayed close behind him. A couple times, I stopped to look back-to see how Douglas was doing-and each time, he yanked me forward. I got the feeling he didn't want me to see how much trouble Douglas was having, climbing up the hill with Stinky on his back. Stinky couldn't have weighed more than four kilos, five at the most. But even five kilos starts to get heavy after a couple of hours. And Douglas had to carry supplies for both of them. I didn't think he was used to this kind of sustained exertion. But he didn't have much choice in the matter. Alexei couldn't do it-obviously. And Mickey's
strength was questionable because of all the time he spent out of Earth's gravity. And besides, Stinky was our responsibility, not theirs. But even with the frequent rests, I could see that Douglas's endurance was wearing thin. And we hadn't even gone a third of the way yet. Halfway up the slope, it stopped being a slope and became a wall. Even worse, it was a wall in sunlight. "Oh, chyort!" I said. "Why didn't we go around?" "This is around," said Alexei. "Is not so bad as it looks. If you are fast." He was fumbling with a tool he had hung outside his bubble. I hadn't paid much attention before, but he had several pieces of external equipment hanging off his back. The one he selected now looked like a miniature harpoon gun-because that's exactly what it was. It had a windup spring, and it fired a dart with an unfolding plastic grapple. A long lightweight cord hung from the dart in a flimsy-looking roll. Alexei studied the wall above, then hesitated and turned back to the display on his PITA. He zoomed in on the Lunological map and grumbled at the numbers. I could see him turning them over in his head-and coming to the conclusion that we really didn't have a choice in the matter anyway, we'd come this far, we didn't have the air to go back down and try another way, so it really didn't matter after all, did it? "Hokay," he announced. "Let's see if Alexei is as clever as he brags." He hefted the dart gun and turned on its laser sight. Because there was no atmosphere, there was no dust to highlight the beam, so he had to track the red target dot up the wall above us and dance it around his aiming point. He was aiming at a broken shelf in the shadow of a tall outcrop. Above it was the sunlit portion of the wall. The range finder said the shelf was only fifteen meters up, but it looked a lot farther. "Is not too bad," Alexei decided. "We will do this in two steps. First stop is shelf. Map says it is wide enough for all of us, and we will still be safe in shadow. Second stop will be harder. Longer climb, all in sunlight." He began winding up the spring in the dart gun. "But this will work," he said slowly, "if everybody follows direction. So pay good attention. We use first climb for practice. Learn to climb. We go up to first shelf, all of us. We catch breath, then we go-Ding, bing, bing, bing-up to top and over, back into shadow quickly. You will have to move fast, very fast. Is longer climb, so you must keep moving. No
time to admire view unless you wear sunblock two million. Any question ?" We all shook our heads. "Douglas?" That was Mickey. "Do you want me to take Bobby? We can transfer him here-" "No. I'll take him over the top. The other side is downhill, isn't it, Alexei?" "Yes, other side is downhill. We go back to Lunar plain. Downhill, uphill, but nothing like this. Nothing too serious." Something about the way he said that last part. "Nothing too serious ... ?" "Nothing you can't handle, little dingaling. Get past this part first, please?" He turned back to the wall. It was harder to take a range sighting on the top of the ridge because it was blazing bright and the laser dot was invisible in the glare. Finally, Alexei gave up in disgust. "Never mind. I know how high from Lunar survey. I do this by ear." He sighted carefully and fired the dart gun-the dart soared lazily up, unfolding its long grappling prongs as it went. It rose out of shadow and blazed in the hard light of the sun. The line followed it up in silence , uncurling and turning bright as it went. At the apex of its flight, the dart hung motionless in space for a long moment-then it began drifting back with a deliberate slow grace, arcing over and down-it disappeared out of view behind the glare of the wall above us. The line went looping after it, flying across space in lazy swirls. Eventually, the line began to settle and fall back. After what seemed like forever, it finally went slack. Alexei waited until it was hanging like a bright yellow streak against the wall; he held up the display on the base of the dart gun so I could see. It showed a row of green ready signals. According to the readouts on the butt of the pistol, the grapple-dart had landed somewhere over the wall of rock and the grapples had securely deployed. We hadn't heard anything, of course, so we had to depend on the signal sent back through the line. Alexei punched a couple of buttons, and two more green signals appeared. "Grapple has tested itself," he announced. "It will hold us." He locked the safety and hung the gun on the back of his balloon. "Hokay. Now pay attention. I teach dingalings to do this. Is not too hard-even a dingaling can learn. First, take hands out of gloves. Now put gloves away, please. You do not want them sticking out and catching on something. Here, I'll help. Now reach below and switch to other
gloves-big red gloves under regular ones. Put your hands in-da, feel that? See how glove is molded around big castanet-claw? That's your grabber. Close glove, feel how it clicks shut? Make sure you feel click. That click means grabber has closed very tight around cord or tool or anything else you reach for-holds very very tight, so don't put anything tender inside. Especially not anything you are attached to." "How do you unclick it?" Douglas asked. "Is good question. Squeeze again, also press with thumb and middle finger-feel little click? That is grabber releasing grip. Very easy. Click, unclick. Grabber holds you up even if hands get tired. Pay attention to this, Charles dingaling. Make sure grabber goes click. If it doesn't go click, you have no grip. Very bad news. You don't want that. Do not try to hold cord without grip. You will risk slipping. If you slip, maybe you cut or rip glove. Very bad news if that happen. I have to write letter to manufacturer of bubble and ask for refund. So don't slip. Instead, make sure grabber goes click. Practice now. Click, unclick. See?" He made me do it over and over again until he was sure I had it right. "Hokay, good. Now this is how you will pull self up, hand over hand. Slowly. Grab, click, pull-unclick other grabber, grab, click, pull-unclick first grabber, grab, click, pull. Understand? If no click, stop and try again. Don't unclick one until the other is clicked. Don't go to next step until you check that previous step is success." "What if the clicker breaks?" "I will write letter and get refund." "I mean-what happens to me?" "You will not have to worry about letter. I will." "Oh, good. I hate writing letters." "All right, watch me now. I will go first. To show you how it is done. Pay attention to feet. Watch what I do. Do you know how to rappel ?" "Rappel?" "Down mountainside. Kick, slide, kick, slide-? You have seen pictures , da? We are going to rappel. But not down-up. You do not want to scrape bubble against rock, do you? Nyet. Hook feet in loops there. Pull knees up. Brace yourself against wall. Kick away from wall. Then pull self up. Lift knees again and brace self to come back. Hold self against wall, kick and pull. Brace, hold, kick and pull. Understand? Watch. I will go first. I will
You will make it look clumsy. We will all laugh at you. But you will get to top without mishap, because you will be slow and careful. And we will all pat you on back, and say, `good job, well-done, little dingaling.' And you will have great adventure to tell grandchildren about someday . Unless you are like Mickey and Douglas. Then you will have to tell someone else's grandchildren. Not to worry, I will lend you some of mine. They will not believe that senile old Lunatic smuggled crazy terries across Lunnaya zhopa. Bottom of moon. Moon's rectum. Place where sun never shines. Truthfully, it never does. We will be there soon. The priamaya kishka. You will tell them you were crazy terrie. They will believe. Hokay? Watch now, here I go." Was he serious? Or was he saying all that stuff to distract me? Either way, it worked. I was distracted. Alexei pulled himself up the cliff wall in a series of three fast bounces. His movements were quick, but they were also deliberate and careful. He'd done this before and his experience showed. He stretched his right arm as high as he could, grabbed and clicked. He kicked away from the wall, pulled himself up as high as he could, grabbed and clicked. His feet came back to the wall and he braced himself. He looked down at me and grinned, unclicked his lower hand, reached up, grabbed, clicked, kicked away from the wall, and pulled. Once more and he was at the top. He kicked away from the wall and pulled sharply at the same time-he floated over the edge of the shelf and disappeared from view for a moment. He popped back into view and waved down at us. "Hokay, dingaling! Your turn." "It's Dingillian," I corrected. "If you can get to top, I will learn new pronunciation. Until you get up, you are still dingaling." Douglas moved up beside me. "You okay, Chigger?" "Yeah, I can do it. Can you?" He nodded. "I'm getting tired, but I can do it. Let's get this over with." I closed my eyes and visualized the steps-what they would feel like. I took a deep breath. I reached up with my right hand. I grabbed. I squeezed. The glove went click. "Remember to kick!" Alexei shouted. I had almost forgotten. I kicked and pulled at the same time-I was a little heavier than I expected, but a lot lighter than I was used to. I bounced up and away from the wall. I reached as high as I could with
my left hand, grabbed, and clicked. "Pull your knees up-" I had plenty of time to brace, everything was slow motion. My feet hit the wall. "Don't look down-" Too late. I was already looking. I was higher than I thought. But I wasn't scared. I'd been this high when I did the rope climb in gym class. As long as I didn't look back to see the rest of the slope we'd climbed- I took a breath, visualized what I had to do next. And did it. This time it was easier. Unclicked the right hand. Kicked away. Swung up. Grabbed. Clicked. Pulled up knees. Braced. Looked up. Alexei waved. He was closer than I expected. "Is good. One more. Da?" "Da." Closed eyes. Took a breath. Opened eyes. Unclicked, kicked, swung, pulled, grabbed, clicked, braced. It was easier to do than describe . Alexei was almost close enough to reach out and pull me up. "Kick and pull sharply up," he said. I did, and he grabbed my arm-both arms-and swung me over the top, setting me down firmly on a slab of Lunar rock. He reached over and slapped the top of my head. "Is good job, little dingaling. Not as clumsy as I expected." The monkey patted my head too. I'd almost forgotten it was there. "I thought you said you weren't going to call me dingaling anymore ." He pointed to the wall above us, where it turned into blazing sunlit rock. "I said when we get to top!"
TO THE TOP
DOUGLAS CAME UP THE WALL next. Despite the weight of Stinky on his back, he came up easily. At least, it looked easy to me. He was only a little bit out of breath when he bounced onto the shelf. Mickey came right after; he pulled the inflatable airlock up after himself. We took a rest break then. We weren't catching our breath so much as cooling off. Alexei wanted us to turn off our heaters and radiate away some of our heat. I don't know how much good he thought that would do, I was already cold, and it scared me to think of the kind of heat we'd be experiencing in a few minutes. But he kept saying, "Not to worry. Is just an extra precaution. Bubbles are insulated both ways." When we checked each other's air, Alexei advised each of us to release a few seconds of oxygen into our bubbles from the spare tanks we carried. "And put rebreather tube in mouth for climb up, please?" I was beginning to think this was far more dangerous than he was letting on. To the east, the hills were outlined by an edge of light. Sunrise. We were just below the edge of their shadow. Just how bright was the full force of the sun in hard vacuum? We were about to find out-one good bounce upward and we'd know. I reached up and touched the monkey on my head. "Why don't you swing down and climb into the harness on my back?" I said. To my surprise, it understood exactly what I wanted. It bounced down, climbed up under the poncho, and secured itself in the harness on my back, just like Stinky was secured on Douglas's back. "Thank you," I
said to it. I bounced lightly on my feet, testing my balance. "Hokay," said Alexei. "Anybody ready? I go now. Watch please?" He grabbed the cord. "Here I go-" He bounced up into the light. His bubble glittered with reflections. And then he was up and up and up and over the top and gone. A second later his voice came loud in our ears. "I am fine, thank you for worrying." He added, "Is not as hard as it looks. Is nice view from up here. Charles dingaling, is your turn." Douglas gave me a good luck slap on top of the head, and I clicked onto the rope. I closed my eyes, visualized, and leapt- The sudden bright wash of light from the east felt like a hammer- blow. Even my goggles weren't enough to keep me from being dazzled. I felt like I'd opened a furnace door, just from the glare alone. The whole inside of the bubble sparkled with reflections that wouldn't quit. -and grabbed the rope and clicked. Released, kicked, and pulled. Suddenly my goggles were blurry, with hot tears streaming from my eyes. From the light. Grabbed for the rope, missed-clicked anyway, and swung around out of control for a moment, turning first away from the sun, and then right back into the full force of it-I unclicked my empty hand, looked up for the rope, found it, grabbed, clicked, remembered to test, banged the wall, I'd forgotten to bring my knees up, bounced and hung for a moment, and said, "Oh, chyort!" The tears were real now. Tears of frustration. "Keep coming!" cried Alexei from above. "Don't stop!" shouted Douglas and Mickey from below. I swallowed hard, visualized-was it getting hot in here or was it my imagination? Had I scraped my bubble? Did I hear something hissing ? Was I losing air?-visualized again and unclicked, kicked, and climbed. I fumbled again-but this time grabbed the cord anyway, clicked, and hung, braced myself against the wall. I couldn't see. The tears were a torrent. The light was awful. If I could just see- "Only three more and you are here, dingaling! Keep coming!" Visualized, unclicked, kicked, grabbed, clicked and pulled-okay, I could do this. Two more times. Took a breath, did it all again on the other side. Once more-except I couldn't see a thing. My goggles were wet, my eyes were flowing. I pulled my hand out of the lower glove and pushed my goggles up, tried to wipe my eyes with my wrist. That was a mistake. My goggles fell off my head and bounced away somewhere below me. I felt them hit the floor of the bubble. Even with my
eyes closed, the light was an orange blast. I said some of those words that mom hated so much. "What just happened?" Douglas demanded. "He dropped his goggles," Alexei said. "Not to worry. Is easy enough, we do it with eyes closed. Come up, dingaling. You are almost here." It was getting hot in here. It wasn't my imagination. The sweat was dripping from my armpits. If I could just see-I squinted up. The rope was a blurry line. Maybe if I could get the goggles. I pulled my knees up, bringing the floor of the bubble almost up within reach. I reached around, fumbling for the goggles. If I could just find the goggles -my hand scrabbled frantically. "Charles!" That was Douglas. "Don't stop! Keep climbing!" "I just want to grab my goggles. I can't see!" "Forget stupid goggles! You are close enough to do without." And then I swung around just a little bit and my view widened beyond the bubble to the scenery outside. I was hanging on the inside wall of a Lunar crater. It was big, round, and deep. The pod had come down on the far side and we'd crossed the rubble-strewn floor, always keeping to the shadow until we'd finally climbed its steepening slopes-until we'd finally had to pull ourselves up the wall. From this perspective, it looked bigger and deeper than the Barringer Crater in Arizona, only it was painted in hard colors of black and silver and bright. And I was hanging halfway up the inner wall. In a bubble of air. Baking in the sun. Surrounded by vacuum and dark. And nothing below me and nothing above me, hanging only by a single arm. My arm was getting tired. And no one anywhere could save me. I knew the distances weren't the same here on the moon. I knew the gravity wasn't the same. I knew my weight was lighter. But my eyes told me distance and my brain remembered Earth. And my stomach clenched. "Please, little Dingillian. Put hand back in glove. Reach up. I will pull you, but you will have to kick away from wall. Hokay?" For a moment, I forgot everything-even the light. I could hear myself thinking-This is a really stupid way to die. And then the other side of my brain argued-No it isn't. This is really dramatic. And then I got annoyed, and said, "You're both wrong-"
"What's that, dingaling?" I didn't answer. Somehow I got my hand back into the glove. I ignored the light and heat and unclicked. I kicked away from the wall, swung myself up, grabbed, and clicked, braced against the wall, unclicked , kicked, swung, grabbed, clicked, braced-"Now! "-and kicked straight down, bounced up-and Alexei grabbed my arm and pulled me over the top, pushing me into the shadow of a looming crag. I flopped down cross-legged on the broken Lunar rocks and let the tears flood out of me. My eyes were dazzled so badly, I could hardly see. "Is he all right? Is he all right?" That was Douglas. "He is fine. He is just shaked and baked a little. Wait-" Alexei hovered over me, checking air and temperature and everything else he could think. He looked all over my bubble for leaks, but the pressure meter said it was fine. "Can you sit here quietly, Charles? I bring your brother up?" I managed to nod, and Alexei moved back into the light, and started calling instructions down to Douglas. I wiped my eyes with my hands, again and again. Suddenly, someone was handing me an alcohol-wipe. The monkey. The package was already open, but my hand was shaking so bad I couldn't take it. So the monkey reached up and began gently washing my face. I had to laugh at the absurdity of it. When the monkey finished, it held up my missing goggles. It wiped them off carefully and dried them, then made a big show of inspecting them with a harsh monkey squint. Finally, it handed them over, and I managed to get them back on and my poncho adjusted. "Okay, you," I said. "On my head again." The monkey did it in a single bounce. I stood up and turned around. Alexei was just swinging Douglas over the edge, pushing him into the shadow next to me. He grabbed my arms. "Are you all right?" His tone was beyond concerned. It was scared. I nodded. But I still felt jittery. He stood there, watching me, waiting for me to say something, but I was caught in another one of those terrible churning wunderstorms, realizing a thousand things at once. Not just the ordinary stuff about how dangerous adventures were-but the extraordinary stuff about how much I loved my brothers and how
lost I'd feel without them-and how much it would hurt them if they lost me. I didn't want to hurt them anymore. And there were a bunch of other thoughts in that wunderstorm too-about Mickey and Alexei and the monkey. But I couldn't say any of it right now. I couldn't say anything. It would all have to wait.
SMIT AFTER
MICKEY PULLED HIMSELF UP, he and Alexei checked me over again. Then they checked Douglas. Then Douglas checked them. It was a little crowded in the shadow of the crag, but it was safe enough for the moment. Alexei insisted that we each drink some water and take a few bites of high-energy pack. He wanted us rested before we started down the other side. There was probably a lot that we all wanted to say. I knew that Douglas was angry-he probably wanted to know why Alexei was putting us all in such danger and why Mickey had agreed to this. Mickey should have known better. I could almost hear the argument- it sounded a lot like Mom and Dad. But Douglas was smart enough not to raise the subject here. We weren't exactly out of danger, and our first priority had to be getting to safety. And after we got to safety, then the argument wouldn't matter anymore, would it? For a while we sat in silence. Mostly, I was waiting for my eyes to undazzle. All I could see were big purple splotches everywhere. Nobody said anything at all. We just listened to ourselves breathe. We were tired. This wasn't fun anymore. And even though none of us would say so, we were all scared. It was real now-we could die out here. Alexei had deliberately chosen this landing site because it would be hard to get to. He had chosen this path across the broken Lunar surface because we would be hard to track. We were out of view of
any of the Lunosynchronous satellites, and the ones in polar orbit were equally unlikely to spot us. We were hidden in the shadows, we were masked by the rocks. And even our thermal signatures would be partially lost in the hash of heat and cold. So there wasn't much likelihood of someone finding us. We weren't going to be picked up unless.. . Douglas was thinking the same thing. He looked to Mickey. He took a breath. "Mickey ... ?" "What?" "I'm thinking that, uh ... maybe we should call for help." "Douglas? Are you all right?" "This is awfully rough. On Charles. On Bobby." He hung his head. "On me too. I almost didn't make it up the wall either. We can't keep taking chances like this-" He looked up, looked across at him. "How do you feel?" "I'll go along with whatever you decide." And then he added, "I think the safety of you and your brothers comes first." Alexei was looking down the other side of the wall. He was looking at his PITA. He wasn't looking at us. He said, "I understand your fears. But you are doing all right. Hardest part is past us now. Is all downhill from here. If you choose to go on." Douglas ignored him. "How long do you think it would take them to get to us?" he asked Mickey. Mickey shrugged. "We're close enough to Gagarin Station. They could have a boat out here in three hours. But we'd have to climb down to someplace level." "Yeah, I already figured that out." "Did you think about the marshals?" Alexei asked. "What about them? They were waiting for us at Farpoint. We're beyond that now. Aren't we?" Alexei shrugged. "Aren't we-?" Douglas repeated. "Possibly. Possibly not. Probably not." He took a breath. "Most certainly, I think not. There are bounty marshals on Luna. It takes only a phone call from Farpoint to North Heinlein or Asimov or Armstrong or ... Gagarin." "Gagarin?" Alexei shrugged. "Is possible." He took his hand out of his glove to scratch his chin. "Is certainly a logical place to start looking for me.
Maybe not you. That's why we drop pods everywhere. So they have no way to know which where to start. Remember, they don't know that I am with you. They might figure it out, because I am not at Geosynchronous for sure. So Gagarin could look like red herring. Is inconvenient to get there from north. Only one train line. They would have to take transport. They might not do that on a wild-moose chase. Might check easier targets first. Whole point is to go where it is too inconvenient for marshals. That makes time to keep going, stay ahead of them." I kept waiting for Douglas to turn to me, to ask me what I was thinking, but he stayed focused on Mickey. And meanwhile, Alexei nattered on. "But let's play thought experiment game. Say we send signal. Everybody knows we're here. All over news instantly. No secrets on this rock. Rescue boat gets here in three hours. Maybe less, but don't cross fingers before they hatch. Fifteen, maybe thirty minutes to transfer us into boat and get up again. They are in no hurry. They will follow procedures. We take three hours back to Gagarin or wherever else they choose to take us. You figure it out. If Gagarin, that gives marshals six hours from time of distress call to intercept us. Anywhere else, even longer." "Is six hours good or bad?" I asked. "If marshals are serious about catching you, they can get to anywhere on Lunar surface within two hours. They have fast transport. Is not impossible. Depends on how many marshals, how desperate they are, how much confusion from big blue marble." Douglas didn't say anything to that. Neither did Mickey. "If you want to send distress call, Douglas, I will understand; but I promise, if marshals want you bad enough, then there will be marshals waiting for you. But if you send distress call, I will not wait with you. I will go on without you. We have broken many laws getting here. But they do not know for sure I am here, and I already have many alibis." He sighed. "This is part of why I put you into money-surfing web. So if something bad happens and you get caught, all the money used to purchase six pods will look like your own. My hands are washed. Lawyers will argue that purchase of all six pods and evasive trajectories was intent to escape legal warrants waiting at Farpoint. They will tie you up in paper." He made a face. "So, no, I do not advise calling for help. It could get very ugly for you." That almost sounded like blackmail. Like fat Se.Doctor Hi-
dalgo, who'd almost threatened us too. Even behind his goggles, even bundled in his poncho, I could see that Douglas didn't like what Alexei was saying. He turned back to Mickey. "Say we go back down to the crater floor. How long would that take? Fifteen minutes? Thirty? We could all get into the inflatable and wait for them, couldn't we?" "Is better to go forward," said Alexei. "Better landing site on this side." No one paid him any attention. "Is that what you want to do?" Mickey asked Douglas. "What I want ... and what I have to do are two different things. I have to think about Bobby and Charles first." "Um-?" I said. Douglas shook his head, dismissing me. "No, Chigger. I have to make this decision for all of us." "Well, that didn't take long." He looked up sharply. "What didn't?" "For you to break your promise." "What promise? Oh-" "Yeah. That promise." To Mickey, I said, "That he wouldn't make any more decisions for all of us without talking to me." "Chigger." Douglas put on his patient grown-up voice. It was scary-because for a moment, he wasn't Douglas anymore. He was someone else. "I'm really scared here. You nearly got killed. And I nearly didn't make it up either. We're not trained for this. I'm sorry. This was a mistake. I'm sorry for getting you into this. We should stop here-" "You sound just like Dad," I said angrily. That was who he'd become . "Remember when he told us he was leaving. How he wouldn't stop apologizing: `What I want and what I have to do. We made a mistake . I'm sorry. I have to call it quits before it gets worse. Blah blah blah.' And remember how we all felt? We were so angry, because we wanted him to keep trying, just a little bit more-" "This isn't the same." "Yes, it is. It's quitting. Dad taught us how to be quitters. Real good." "It's surviving." "Yeah, Dad said that too." "You have a better idea?" "Yeah, I do. Let's keep going. We can quit anytime. We have to go
down the mountain anyway. Let's go down and see how we feel when we get to the bottom." Douglas looked to Mickey. Mickey shrugged. "He's right. We have to go down, no matter what. And we have enough air. We don't have to decide here. You want to think about it?" Douglas looked at me. Even though his eyes were hidden by his dark goggles, I could see he was annoyed. He didn't like being backed into a corner. Not by me, not by Alexei, not by Mickey. But he was always logical, and that was his real strength. So finally, he nodded, and said softly, "All right, we'll wait." Mickey put his hand on Douglas's bubble, as if to touch his shoulder . "Can you make it down? Or do you want me to take Bobby?" Even though I couldn't see his expression, even though his body language was hidden by the poncho, I could see he was tired. I could hear it in his voice. "No, I'll take him. But when we get down, we need to rest-maybe even a nap?" Mickey and Alexei exchanged a glance and nodded to each other. "Turn heaters back on, please. Everyone take a little fresh air," Alexei said. "And we will start down the other side." "Wait a minute-" I said. I could finally see clearly again. I stepped out into the sunlight, as close to the edge as I dared. I looked back down into the crater we'd just climbed out of. It was deeper than Barringer -and wider. But I wasn't afraid of it anymore. It was just scenery . It looked like a Bonestell. I stepped back away from the edge, back into the shadow. "All right, I'm ready." Alexei reached over and slapped my hands with his. "Good job, Charles Dingillian. We go now. Da?" "Da."
IN CONTROL
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