"Goonan, Kathleen Ann - The String" - читать интересную книгу автора (Goonan Kathleen Ann)

they're going to get."
"I'm sure it is," said Dan. He'd been doing his best to keep her on an even
keel. For some reason she felt as if her entire career was riding on this one
proposal, and that if it wasn't accepted there would be an inevitable downhill
slide into obscurity.
And yet, the thought of her getting this job frightened him. Their marriage
seemed in shambles, and he felt as if that would be the last straw, her spending
as much time as she would have to on the museum.
"Oh, what do you care?" she snapped. "All you ever do is play with that string."
Dan didn't even protest any more. He realized that it looked silly, but it was
far past an obsession. It was simply a necessity of his life. Sometimes it felt
as if the string were playing with him as much as he played with the string,
unravelling and changing portions of his life.
For one thing, Jessica had been much improved over the summer. The new genetic
inahalant therapy they'd tried had been successful, and though the doctors
warned them that it was probably just another stopgap, research was coming out
which showed that it might constitute a very real cure for cystic fibrosis. Dan
basked in Jessica's ever-growing wellness.
The phone rang, and Anita leaped to answer it. "Yes?" she asked breathless.
"Yes, this is Anita Brewer." There was a long silence, and finally she said, in
a dull voice, "I see."
She hung up the phone and said, "I didn't get it."
Anita's pain hit Dan so hard he couldn't breath. "It will be all right, honey,"
he said, and tried to give her a hug. Now maybe she'll pay more attention to me.
And to Jessica.
"Oh, leave me alone, you idiot," she said. "What do you know?" She left the
room.
Dan followed her, but she slammed and locked the bedroom door.
He fixed dinner for Jessica. "What's wrong with Mom?" she asked.
"She doesn't feel good," he said. "She didn't get the contract."
"Oh."
Later that night, as he played with the string, images of Anita as a graduate
student filled his mind. How radiant she had been, immersed in the complexities
of architecture, realizing for the first time that she could really be
top-notch. He'd been amazed that someone so talented could care for him, had
been overwhelmed with gratitude when she'd agreed to marry him.
It was that feeling of being on the cutting edge which pleased her, which was
her reason for life, he realized, not him; not even Jessica.
Still, it pleased him to see her like that, filled with the power her own way of
thinking brought her, the power which came from others accepting it as valid,
praising it, giving her awards, peopling her visionary structures as they were
constructed and used. There was a truth about her which transcended her day to
day pettiness and that was what Dan loved about her, even though his life with
her could be miserable if he let her get to him.
But his image of the happy family battled with that, as if by desire he could
force their hearts and minds into some fifties sitcom of harmonious life even if
it went all frayed and off the edges. It hadn't been easy having a terminally
ill child, but Jessica was better now.
And as he worked, the vision of Anita happy in her profession receded. She had a
good job at the firm. Why couldn't she be happy with that? It was important that