"Ron Goulart - Conversations with My Knees" - читать интересную книгу автора (Goulart Ron)

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY KNEES
by RON GOULART

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What do you mean, you donтАЩt believe the title means what it says?

The side effects of my knee replacement procedure were not what
IтАЩd expected. They included the termination of my marriage to a once
nationally popular folksinger, a fling with a redheaded young woman IтАЩd
initially thought was just a night nurse, the intrusion into my life of spies and
secret agents of several nations, and my conversion, at the age of
sixty-one, into what I can only describe as some sort of superhero.

My knees started talking to me the second day I was back home in
my Marin County home after my stay at the Slesinger Foundation Clinic
over in San Rafael. I was sitting in our beam-ceilinged living room, looking
down toward San Francisco Bay far below. As usual, there were quite a few
bright sailboats wandering around down there. My wife had propped two fat
paisley pillows behind my back and draped a Navajo rug over the lower part
of me before driving to a rehearsal studio in Sausalito.

YouтАЩve probably heard of her. Mavis Scattergood. Until about seven
years ago she and two fellows were the Scattergood Singers, very
successful singers of liberal folk tunes who came damn close to winning a
Grammy. Mavis had recently rounded up two new fellows and was hoping
to revive the Scattergood Singers. Only snag was Edmond Scully, the new
banjo player, who felt the group should be called Edmond, Fred and Mavis.
My name, by the way, is Frank Whitney, and IтАЩm a retired advertising agency
art director.

тАЬDonтАЩt worry about falling down while youтАЩre home alone, dear,тАЭ said a
motherly voice.

Though I had the impression the voice was coming from the vicinity of
my left knee, I glanced around the big sunlit room. There was nobody to be
seen.

тАЬImagine your wife abandoning you, and you only two days out of
surgery.тАЭ

Leaning forward on our tangerine-colored sofa, I tugged off the red,
gold, and yellow blanket so I could scrutinize my knees.
 тАЬWhat you really ought to be worrying about, pal,тАЭ said my right knee
through my wrinkled denim slacks, тАЬis what your dumpy missus is really
doing in Sausalito with Edmond and Fred. Especially Edmond, whoтАЩs a real
stud but, truth to tell, a lousy banjo picker.тАЭ

The motherly voice of my other knee said, тАЬNow donтАЩt get poor Frank
all riled up. A wayward wife isnтАЩt the major problem he has toтАФтАЭ