man's full appetite for wine, food, and, women. Warm rounded
women.
The mirage vanished and I saw only the beard.
Now anger took hold of me. I told Jules he was too young to
hide himself behind a Japanese legend, too young to be alone.
He answered softly, "I am not alone. I live with the woman I
love and who loves me."
I knew he meant the bearded lady.
"Why, Jules?" I asked helplessly.
"We are the same. Both imperfect. That is why we love each
other."
I knew that theirs was a secret world and feared that if light
fell on it they would be destroyed.
He took my arm and made me look at him. I regarded the part
of the legend that I could see and remembered the other. Then he
held out his fingers. Tiny Geisha girls danced from joint to joint,
and on the palms of his hands I saw blossoms.
"Lovely blossoms in Japan," he murmured.
I marveled that there was no bitterness in his voice. Jules had
triumphed.
"I'd like to meet her," I said suddenly. "Are you married?"
Jules's face darkened. I knew because his eyes changed color,
and the wings of the eagle were momentarily dulled.
"No," he said.
The explanation came slowly.
"She is young. Just twenty-two. All young girls cherish dreams.
She dreams of a knight on a white horse who will lift and carry
her out of the circus."
His voice was compassionate. Jules had not always been a
freak. He knew there would be no knight for the bearded lady.
"I'd .like to meet her," I said again. "Now."
He took my arm and led me away from the snow-leopard.
"I saw you in Amsterdam," I told him. "I didn't recognize you."
Then I added, "You must give up that German topcoat. Buy a new
one in Paris."
"I never go to France," he said. "Never." And for the first time
his voice held pain.
When we reached the van, I could hear her laughing. And I
heard Learoyd's strong voice that provoked the laughter.
Jules pushed the door back and we went in. They sat together
on the bed. A box of chocolates was open in front of her and she
was a-tinkle with giggles. The small baby-pink bow in the silk of
her beard was in keeping with her mood. The van was bright with
electric light. I had thought it would be near-dark. Shadows are
so much kinder to hair on a woman's face.
Mastering my repugnance, I bowed over her hand and saw the
sharp pointed teeth before she turned her shoulder, looking at
Learoyd, fluttering her eyelids and smiling secretly.
He stood up and stretched, a fat spaniel who had gnawed the
bone clean. I knew that she had talked before he spoke Jules's
