"Hamilton,.Laurell.K.-.Meredith.Gentry.5.-.Mistral's.Kiss" - читать интересную книгу автора (Hamilton Laurell K) TO JONATHON Worrying about the perfect words makes me miss the perfect
moment. You remind me it’s not perfection I’m seeking but happiness. Mistral’s Kiss is a work of fiction. Names, characters,
places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or
dead, is entirely coincidental. Copyright © 2006 by Laurell K. Hamilton All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of
The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York. BALLANTINE and colophon are registered
trademarks of Random House, Inc. eISBN-13: 978-0-345-49546-4 eISBN-10: 0-345-49546-2 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION
DATA Hamilton, Laurell K. Mistral’s kiss : a novel / Laurell K. Hamilton. p. cm. 1. Gentry, Meredith (Fictitious character)—Fiction. 2. Women
private investigators—Fiction. 3. Supernatural—Fiction. 4. Fairies—Fiction. I.
Title. PS3558.A443357M57 2006 813'.54—dc22 2006042944 v1.0 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS To Darla Cook and Sherry Ganey, who keep so much running smoothly.
Mary Schuermann, best mother-in-law in the world. To my writing group, The
Alternate Historians: Deborah Milletello, Mark Sumner, Rett MacPherson, Marella
Sands, Tom Drennan, and Sharon Shinn. Our tenth anniversary as a group with its
current members is coming in 2006. It’s eighteen years from the group’s
inception; in 2008, we will celebrate twenty years. Can you believe it? Party,
party, party. Okay, our kind of party. No drinking, certainly no drugs, just us
sitting around talking, eating Debbie’s amazing desserts, just us doing what
we’ve done for a decade, being friends and helping each other succeed. I DREAMT OF WARM FLESH AND COOKIES. THE SEX I
UNDERSTOOD, but the cookies…Why cookies? Why not cake, or meat? But
that’s what my subconscious chose as I dreamt. We were eating in the tiny
kitchen of my Los Angeles apartment—an apartment I didn’t live in anymore,
outside of dreams. The we were me, Princess Meredith—the only faerie
royal ever born on American soil—and my royal guards, more than a dozen of
them. They moved around me with skin the color of darkest night, whitest
snow, the pale of newborn leaves, the brown of leaves that have gone down to
die on the forest floor, a rainbow of men moving nude around the kitchen. The real apartment kitchen would have barely held three of us, but
in the dream everyone walked through that narrow space between sink and stove
and cabinets as if there were all the room in the world. We were having cookies because we’d just had sex and it was hungry
work, or something like that. The men moved around me graceful and perfectly
nude. Several of the men were ones I’d never seen nude. They moved with skin
the color of summer sunshine, the transparent white of crystals, colors I had
no name for, for the colors did not exist outside of faerie. It should have
been a good dream, but it wasn’t. I knew something was wrong, that feeling of
unease that you get in dreams when you know that the happy sights are just a
disguise, an illusion to hide the ugliness to come. The plate of cookies was so innocent, so ordinary, but it bothered
me. I tried to pay attention to the men, touching their bodies, holding them,
but each of them in turn would pick up a cookie and take a bite, as if I
weren’t there. Galen with his pale, pale green skin and greener eyes bit into a
cookie, and something squirted out the side. Something thick and dark. The dark
liquid dripped down the edge of his kissable mouth and fell onto the white
countertop. That single drop splattered and spread and was red, so red, so
fresh. The cookies were bleeding. I slapped it from Galen’s hand. I picked up the tray to keep the
men from eating any more. The tray was full of blood. It dripped down the
edges, poured over my hands. I dropped the tray, which shattered, and the men
bent as if they would eat from the floor and the broken glass. I pushed them
back, screaming, “No!” Doyle looked up at me with his black eyes and said, “But it is all
we have had to eat for so long.” The dream changed, as dreams will. I stood in an open field with a
ring of distant trees encircling it. Beyond the trees, hills rode up into the
paleness of a moonlit winter’s night. Snow lay like a smooth blanket across the
ground. I was standing ankle-deep in snow. I was wearing a loose sweeping gown
as white as the snow. My arms were bare to the cold night. I should have been
freezing, but I wasn’t. Dream, just a dream. Then I noticed something in the center of the clearing. It was an
animal, a small white animal, and I thought, That’s why I didn’t see it,
for it was white, whiter than the snow. Whiter than my gown, than my skin, so
white that it seemed to glow. The animal raised its head, sniffing the air. It was a small pig,
but its snout was longer, and its legs taller, than those of any pig I’d ever
seen. Though it stood in the middle of the snowy field, there were no
hoofprints in that smooth snow, no way for the piglet to have walked to the
center of the field. As if the animal had simply appeared there. I glanced at the circle of trees, for only a moment, and when I
looked again at the piglet, it was bigger. A hundred pounds heavier, and taller
than my knees. I didn’t look away again, but the pig just got bigger. I
couldn’t see it happening, it was like trying to watch a flower bloom, but it
was growing bigger. As tall at the shoulder as my waist, long and broad, and
furry. I’d never seen a pig so fuzzy before, as if it had a thick winter coat.
It looked positively pettable, that pelt. It raised that strangely long-snouted
face toward me, and I saw tusks curving from its mouth, small tusks. The moment
I saw them, gleaming ivory in the snow light, another whisper of unease washed
through me. I should leave this place, I thought. I turned to walk out
through that ring of trees. A ring of trees that now looked entirely too even,
too well planned, to be accidental. A woman stood behind me, so close that when the wind blew through
the dead trees her hooded cloak brushed against the hem of my gown. I formed my
lips to say, Who? but never finished the word. She held out a hand that
was wrinkled and colored with age, but it was a small, slender hand, still
lovely, still full of a quiet strength. Not full of the remnants of youthful
strength, but full of the strength that comes only with age. A strength born of
knowledge accumulated, wisdom pondered over many a long winter’s night. Here
was someone who held the knowledge of a lifetime—no, several lifetimes. The crone, the hag, has been vilified as ugly and weak. But that is
not what the true crone aspect of the Goddess is, and it was not what I saw.
She smiled at me, and that smile held all the warmth you would ever need. It
was a smile that held a thousand fireside chats, a hundred dozen questions
asked and answered, endless lifetimes of knowledge collected and remembered.
There was nothing she would not know, if only I could think of the questions to
ask. I took her hand, and the skin was so soft, soft the way a baby’s
is. It was wrinkled, but smooth is not always best, and there is beauty in age
that youth knows not. I held the crone’s hand and felt safe, completely and utterly safe,
as if nothing could ever disturb this sense of quiet peace. She smiled at me,
the rest of her face lost in the shadow of her hood. She drew her hand out of
mine, and I tried to hold on, but she shook her head and said, though her lips
did not move, “You have work to do.” “I don’t understand,” I said, and my breath steamed in the cold
night, though hers had not. “Give them other food to eat.” I frowned. “I don’t understand…” “Turn around,” she said, and this time her lips did move, but still
her breath did not color the night. It was as if she spoke but did not breathe,
or as if her breath were as cold as the winter night. I tried to remember if
her hand had been warm or cold, but could not. All I remembered was the sense
of peace and rightness. “Turn around,” she said again, and this time I did. A white bull stood in the center of the clearing—at least that’s
what it looked like at first glance. Its shoulder stood as tall as the top of
my head. It must have been more than nine feet long. Its shoulders were a huge
broad spread of muscle humped behind its lowered head. The head raised,
revealing a snout framed by long, pointed tusks. This was no bull, but a huge
boar—the thing that had begun as a little pig. Tusks like ivory blades gleamed
as it looked at me. I glanced back, but knew the crone was gone. I was alone in the
winter night. Well, not as alone as I wanted to be. I looked back and found the
monstrous boar still standing there, still staring at me. The snow was cold
under my bare feet now. My arms ran with goose bumps, and I wasn’t sure if I
shivered from cold, or fear. I recognized the thick white hair on the boar now. It still looked
so soft. But its tail stuck straight out from its body, and it raised that long
snout skyward. Its breath smoked in the air as it sniffed. That was bad. That
meant it was real—or real enough to hurt me, anyway. I stood as still as I could. I don’t think I moved at all, but
suddenly it charged. Snow plumed underneath its hooves as it came for me. It was like watching some great machine barreling down. Too big to
be real, too huge to be possible. I had no weapon. I turned and ran. I heard the boar behind me. Its hooves sliced the frozen ground. It
let out a sound that was almost a scream. I glanced back; I couldn’t help it.
The gown tangled under my feet, and I went down. I rolled in the snow, fighting
to come to my feet, but the gown tangled around my legs. I couldn’t get free of
it. Couldn’t stand. Couldn’t run. The boar was almost on top of me. Its breath steamed in clouds.
Snow spilled around its legs, bits of frozen black earth sliced up in all that
white. I had one of those interminable moments where you have all the time in
the world to watch death come for you. White boar, white snow, white tusks, all
aglow in the moonlight, except for the rich black earth that marred the
whiteness with dark scars. The boar gave that horrible screaming squeal again. Its thick winter coat looked so soft. It was going to look soft
while it gored me to death and trampled me into the snow. I reached behind me, feeling for a tree branch, anything to pull
myself up out of the snow. Something brushed my hand, and I grabbed it. Thorns
cut into my hand. Thorn-covered vines filled the space between the trees. I
used the vines to drag myself to my feet. The thorns were biting into my hands,
my arms, but they were all I could grasp. The boar was so close, I could smell
its scent, sharp and acrid on the cold air. I would not die lying in the snow. The thorns bled me, spattered the white gown with blood, the snow
covered in minute crimson drops. The vines moved under my hands like something
more alive than a plant. I felt the boar’s breath like heat on the back of my
body, and the thorny vines opened like a door. The world seemed to spin, and
when I could see again, be sure of where I was again, I was standing on the
other side of the thorns. The white boar hit the vines hard and fast, as if it
expected to tear its way through. For a moment I thought it would do just that;
then it was in the thorns, slowing. It stopped rushing forward and started
slashing at the vines with its great snout and tusks. It would tear them out,
trample them underfoot, but its white coat was bedecked with tiny bloody
scratches. It would break through, but the thorns bled it. I’d never owned any magic in dream, or vision, that I didn’t own in
waking life. But I had magic now. I wielded the hand of blood. I put my
bleeding hand out toward the boar and thought, Bleed. I made all those
small scratches pour blood. But still the beast fought through the thorns. The
vines ripped from the earth. I thought, More. I made a fist of my hand,
and when I opened it wide, the scratches slashed wide. Hundreds of red mouths,
gaping on that white hide. Blood poured down its sides, and now its squeal was
not a scream of anger, or challenge. It was a squeal of pain. The vines tightened around it of their own accord. The boar’s knees
buckled, and the vines roped it to the frozen ground. It was no longer a white
boar, but a red one. Red with blood. There was a knife in my hand. It was a shining white blade that
glowed like a star. I knew what I needed to do. I walked across the
blood-spattered snow. The boar rolled its eyes at me, but I knew that if it
could, even now, it would kill me. I plunged the knife into its throat, and when the blade came out,
blood gushed into the snow, over my gown, onto my skin. The blood was hot. A
crimson fountain of heat and life. The blood melted the snow down to rich black earth. From that earth
came a tiny piglet, not white this time, but tawny and striped with gold. It
was colored more like a fawn. The piglet cried, but I knew there would be no
answer. I picked it up, and it curled up in my arms like a puppy. It was so
warm, so alive. I wrapped the hooded cloak I now wore around us both. My gown
was black now, not black with blood, but simply black. The piglet settled into
the soft warm cloth. I had boots that were lined with fur, soft and warm. The
white knife was still in my hand, but it was clean, as if the blood had burned
away. I smelled roses. I turned back and found that the white boar’s body
was gone. The thorny vines were covered in green leaves and flowers. The
flowers were white and pink, from palest blush to dark salmon. Some of the
roses were so deeply pink, they were almost purple. The wonderful sweet scent of wild roses filled the air. The dead
trees in the circle were dead no more, but began to bud and leaf as I watched.
The thaw spread from the boar’s death and that spill of warm blood. The tiny piglet was heavier. I looked down and found that it had
doubled in size. I put it onto the melting snow, and as the boar had gotten
bigger, so now this piglet grew. Again, I could not see the change, but like a
flower unfurling undetectably, it changed all the same. I began to walk over the snow, and the rapidly growing pig came at
my side like an obedient dog. Where we stepped the snow melted, and life
returned to the land. The pig lost its baby stripes, and grew black and as tall
at the shoulder as my waist, and still it grew. I touched its back, and the
hair was not soft, but coarse. I stroked its side, and it nestled against me.
We walked the land, and where we walked, the world became green once more. We came to the crest of a small hill, where a slab of stone lay
grey and cold in the growing light. Dawn had come, breaking like a crimson
wound across the eastern sky. The sun returns in blood, and dies in blood. The boar had tusks now, small curling things, but I wasn’t afraid.
He nuzzled my hand, and his snout was softer, and more nimble, more like a
great finger, than any pig’s snout I’d ever touched. He made a sound that was
pleasant and made me smile. Then he turned and ran down the other side of the
hill, with his tail straight out behind him like a flag. Everywhere his hooves touched,
the earth sprang green. A robed figure was beside me on the hill, but it was not the
grey-robed figure of the crone Goddess in winter. This was a male figure taller
than I, broad of shoulder, and cloaked in a hood as black as the boar that was
growing small in the distance. He held out his hands, and in them was a horn. The curved tusk of a
great boar. It was white and fresh, with blood still on it, as if he had just
that moment cut it from the white boar. But as I moved over toward him, the
horn became clean and polished, as if with many years of use, as if many hands
had touched it. The horn was no longer white, but a rich amber color that spoke
of age. Just before I touched his hands, I realized the horn was set in gold,
formed into a cup. I laid my hands on either side of his and found that his hands were
as dark as his cloak, but I knew this was not my Doyle, my Darkness. This was
the God. I looked up into his hood and saw for an instant the boar’s head; then
I saw a human mouth that smiled at me. His face, like the face of the Goddess,
was covered in shadow—for the face of deity was ever a mystery. He wrapped my hands around the smooth horn of the cup, the carved
gold almost soft under my fingers. He pressed my hands to the cup. I wondered,
where had the white knife gone? A deep voice that was no man’s voice and every man’s voice said,
“Where it belongs.” The knife appeared in the cup, blade-down, and it was
shining again, as if a star had fallen into that cup of horn and gold. “Drink
and be merry.” He laughed then at his own pun. He raised the shining cup to my
lips and vanished to the warm sound of his own laughter. I drank from the horn and found it full of the sweetest mead I had
ever drunk, thick with honey, and warm as if the heat of the summer itself
slipped across my tongue, caressed my throat. I swallowed and it was more
intoxicating than any mere drink. Power is the most intoxicating drink of all. I WOKE SURROUNDED BY A CIRCLE OF FACES, IN A
BED THAT WAS not mine. Faces the color of darkest night, whitest snow,
the pale green of new leaves, the gold of summer sunshine, the brown of leaves
trodden underfoot destined to be rich earth. But there was no pale skin that
held all the colors of a brilliant crystal, like a diamond carved into flesh. I
blinked up at all of them, and wondered—remembering my dream—where were the
cookies? Doyle’s voice, deep and thick, as if it came from a great distance,
said, “Princess Meredith, are you well?” I sat up, nude in the bed with black silk sheets, cold against my
skin. The queen had loaned us her room for the night. Real fur, soft and nearly
alive, pressed against my hip. The fur covering moved, and Kitto’s face blinked
up at me. His huge blue eyes dominated his pale face and held no white in all
that color. The color was Seelie sidhe, but the eyes themselves were goblin. He
had been a child of the last great goblin–sidhe war. His pale perfect body was
barely four feet tall, a delicate man, the only one of my men who was shorter
than I was. He looked child-like cuddled down in the fur, his face framed like
some cherub for a Valentine’s Day card. He had been more than a thousand years
old before Christianity was a word. He’d been part of my treaty with the
goblins. They were my allies because he shared my bed. His hand found my arm and stroked up and down my skin, seeking
comfort as we all did when we were nervous. He didn’t like me staring at him
without saying anything. He had been curled up close to me, and the power of
the Goddess and the God in my dream must have slipped across his skin. The
faces of the fifteen men standing in their circle around the bed showed clearly
that they had felt something, too. Doyle repeated his question: “Princess Meredith, are you well?” I looked at my captain of the guard, my lover, his face as black as
the cloak I had worn in vision, or the fur of the boar that had run out into
the snow and brought spring back to the land. I had to close my eyes and
breathe deeply, trying to break free of the last vestiges of vision and dream.
Trying to be in the here and now. I raised my hands from the tangle of sheets. In my right hand was a
cup formed of horn, the horn ancient and yellowed, held in gold that bore
symbols that few outside faerie could read now. In my left hand I expected to
find the white knife, but it was not there. My left hand was empty. I stared at
it for a moment, then raised the cup with both hands. “My God,” Rhys whispered, though the whisper was strangely loud. “Yes,” Doyle said, “that is exactly what it is.” “What did he say when he gave you the cup of horn?” It was Abe who
asked. Abe with his hair striped in shades of pale grey, dark grey, black, and
white, perfect strands of color. His eyes were a few shades darker grey than
most human eyes, but not otherworldly, not really. If you dressed him like a
modern Goth, he’d be the hit of any club scene. His eyes were strangely solemn. He’d been the drunk and joke of the
court for more years than I could remember. But now there was a different
person looking out from his face, a glimpse of what he might once have been.
Someone who thought before he spoke, someone who had other preoccupations than
getting drunk as quickly and as often as he could. Abe swallowed hard and asked again, “What did he say?” I answered him this time. “Drink and be merry.” Abe smiled, wistful, sorrow-filled. “That sounds like him.” “Like who?” I asked. “The cup used to be mine. My symbol.” I crawled to the edge of the bed and knelt on it. I held the cup up
with both hands toward him. “Drink and be merry, Abeloec.” He shook his head. “I do not deserve the God’s favor, Princess. I
do not deserve anyone’s favor.” I suddenly knew—not by way of a vision—I just suddenly possessed
the knowledge. “You weren’t thrown out of the Seelie Court for seducing the
wrong woman, as everyone believes. You were thrown out because you lost your
powers, and once you could no longer make the courtiers merry with drink and
revelry, Taranis kicked you out of the golden court.” A tear trembled on the edge of one eye. Abeloec stood there,
straight and proud in a way that I had never seen him. I’d never seen him
sober, as he appeared to be now. Clearly he’d drunk to forget, but he was still
immortal and sidhe, which meant that no drug, no drink, could ever truly help
him find oblivion. He could be clouded, but never truly know the rush of any
drug. He finally nodded, and that was enough to spill the tear onto his
cheek. I caught the tear on the edge of the horn cup. That tiny drop seemed to
race down the inside of the cup faster than gravity should pull it. I don’t
know if the others could see what was happening, but Abe and I watched the tear
race for the bottom of that cup. The tear slid inside the dark curve of the
bottom, and suddenly there was liquid spilling up, bubbling up like a spring
from the dark inner curve of the horn. Deep gold liquid filled the cup to its brim, and the smell of honey
and berries and the pungent smell of alcohol filled the room. Abe’s hands cupped over mine in the same way I had held the cup in
the vision with the God. I raised it up, and as Abeloec’s lips touched the rim,
I said, “Drink and be merry. Drink and be mine.” He hesitated before he drank, and I observed an intelligence in
those grey eyes that I’d never glimpsed before. He spoke with his lips brushing
the edge of the cup. He wanted to drink. I could feel it in the eager tremble
in his hands as they covered mine. “I belonged to a king once. When I was no longer his court fool, he
cast me out.” The trembling in his hands slowed, as if each word steadied him.
“I belonged to a queen once. She hated me, always, and made certain by her
words and her deeds that I knew just how much she hated me.” His hands were
warm and firm against mine. His eyes were deep, dark grey, charcoal grey, with
a hint of black somewhere in the center. “I have never belonged to a princess,
but I fear you. I fear what you will do to me. What you will make me do to
others. I fear taking this drink and binding myself to your fate.” I shook my head but never lost the concentration of his eyes. “I do
not bind you to my fate, Abeloec, nor me to yours. I merely say, drink of the
power that was once yours to wield. Be what you once were. This is not my gift
to give to you. This cup belongs to the God, the Consort. He gave it to me and
bid me share it with you.” “He spoke of me?” “No, not you specifically, but he bid me to share it with others.
The Goddess told me to give you all something else to eat.” I frowned, unsure
how to explain everything I’d seen, or done. Vision is always more sensible
inside your head than on your tongue. I tried to put into words what I felt in my heart. “The first drink
is yours, but not the last. Drink, and we will see what happens.” “I am afraid,” he whispered. “Be afraid, but take your drink, Abeloec.” “You do not think less of me for being afraid.” “Only those who have never known fear are allowed to think less of
others for being afraid. Frankly, I think anyone who has never been afraid of
anything in their entire life is either a liar or lacks imagination.” It made him smile, then laugh, and in that laughter I heard the
echo of the God. Some piece of Abeloec’s old godhead had kept this cup safe for
centuries. Some shadow of his old power had waited and kept watch. Watched for
someone who could find their way through vision to a hill on the edge of winter
and spring; on the edge of darkness and dawn; a place between, where mortal and
immortal could touch. His laughter made me smile, and there were answering chuckles from
around the room. It was the kind of laughter that would be infectious. He would
laugh and you would have to laugh with him. “Just by holding the cup in your hand,” Rhys said, “your laughter
makes me smile. You haven’t been that amusing in centuries.” He turned his
boyishly handsome face to us, with its scars where his other tricolored blue
eye would have been. “Drink, and see what is left of who you thought you were,
or don’t drink, and go back to being shadow and a joke.” “A bad joke,” Abeloec said. Rhys nodded and came to stand close to us. His white curls fell to
his waist, framing a body that was the most seriously muscled of any of the
guards. He was also the shortest of them, a full-blooded sidhe who was only
five foot six—unheard of. “What do you have to lose?” “I would have to try again. I would have to care again,” said Abe.
He stared at Rhys as completely as he had at me, as if what we were saying
meant everything. “If all you want is to crawl back into another bottle or another
bag of powder, then do it. Step away from the cup and let someone else drink,”
Rhys said. A look of pain crossed Abeloec’s face. “It’s mine. It’s part of who
I was.” “The God didn’t mention you by name, Abe,” Rhys said. “He told her
to share, not who with.” “But it’s mine.” “Only if you take it,” Rhys said, and his voice was low and clear,
and somehow gentle, as if he understood more than I did why Abe was afraid. “It’s mine,” Abe said again. “Then drink,” Rhys said, “drink and be merry.” “Drink and be damned,” Abeloec said. Rhys touched his arm. “No, Abe, say it, and do your best to believe
it. Drink and be merry. I’ve seen more of us come back into our power than you
have. The attitude affects it, or can.” Abeloec started to let go of the cup, but I moved off the bed and
came to stand in front of him. “You will bring everything you learned in this
long sad time with you, but you will still be you. You will be who you were,
just older and wiser. Wisdom bought at great cost is nothing to regret.” He stared down at me with his eyes a dark and perfect grey. “You
bid me drink.” I shook my head. “No. It must be your choice.” “You will not command me?” I shook my head again. “The princess has some very American views on freewill,” Rhys said. “I take that as a compliment,” I said. “But…,” Abe said, softly. “Yes,” Rhys said, “it means it’s all on you. Your choice. Your
fate. All in your hands. Enough rope to hang yourself, as they say.” “Or save yourself,” Doyle said, and he came to stand on the other
side, like a taller darkness to Rhys’s white. Abeloec and I stood with white on
one side, black on the other. Rhys had once been Cromm Cruach, a god of death
and life. Doyle was the queen’s chief assassin, but once he had been Nodons, a
god of healing. We stood between them, and when I looked up at Abeloec
something moved in his eyes, some shadow of that person I had glimpsed on the
hill inside the hood of a cloak. Abeloec raised the cup, taking my hands with it. We raised the cup
together and he lowered his head. His lips hesitated for a breath on the edge
of that smooth horn, then he drank. He kept tipping the cup back, until he had to drop to his knees so
that my hands stayed on the cup while he upended it. He drank it down in one
long swallow. On his knees, releasing the cup, he threw his head back, eyes
closed. His body bent backward, until he lay in a pool of his own striped hair,
his knees still bent underneath him. He lay for a moment so still, so very
still, that I feared for him. I waited for his chest to rise and fall. I willed
him to breathe, but he didn’t. He lay like one asleep, except for the odd angle of his legs—no one
slept like that. His face had smoothed out, and I realized that Abe was one of
the few sidhe who had permanent worry lines, tiny wrinkles at eye and mouth.
They smoothed in his sleep, if it was sleep. I dropped to my knees beside him, the cup still in my hands. I
leaned over him, touched the side of his face. He never moved. I placed my hand
on the side of his face and whispered his name: “Abeloec.” His eyes flew open wide. It startled me. Drew a soft gasp from my
lips. He grabbed my wrist at his face, and his other arm wrapped around my
waist. He sat up, or knelt up, in one powerful movement, with me in his arms.
He laughed, and it wasn’t a mere echo of what I’d heard in my vision. The laughter
filled the room, and the other men laughed with him. The room rang with joyous
masculine laughter. I laughed with him, them. It was impossible not to laugh with the
pure joy in his face so close to mine. He leaned in, closing the last inches
between our mouths. I knew he was going to kiss me, and I wanted him to. I
wanted to feel that laughter inside me. His mouth pressed against mine. A great cry went up among the men,
joyous and rough. His tongue licked light along my bottom lip, and I opened my
mouth to him. He thrust himself inside my mouth, and suddenly all I could taste
was honey and fruit, and mead. It wasn’t just his symbol. He was the cup, or
what it contained. His tongue shoved inside me until I had to open my mouth
wide or choke. And it was like swallowing the thick, golden honeyed mead. He
was the intoxicating cup. I was on the floor with him on top of me, but he was too tall to
kiss me deeply and press much of anything else against my naked body at the
same time. Beneath us was a fur throw that lay on the stone floor. It tickled
along my skin, helped every movement he made be something more, as if the fur
were helping caress me. Our skin began to glow as if we’d swallowed the moon at her ripe
bursting fullness, and her light was shining out from our skin. The white
streaks in his hair showed a pale luminous blue. His charcoal-grey eyes stayed
strangely dark. I knew that my eyes glowed, each circle of color, green of
grass, pale green jade, and that molten gold. I knew that every circle of my iris
glowed. My hair cast a reddish light around my vision: It shone like spun
garnets with fire inside them when I glowed. His eyes were like some deep, dark cave where the light could not
go. Abruptly, I realized that for a long while, we hadn’t been kissing.
We’d simply been staring into each other’s faces. I leaned up toward him,
wrapped my hands around him. I’d forgotten I still held the cup in one hand,
and it touched his bare back. His spine bowed, and liquid poured across his
skin; though the cup had been emptied before, it was full again. Heavy, cool
liquid rushed down his body and over mine, drenching us in that thick golden
flow. Pale blue lines danced across his skin. I couldn’t tell if they
were under his skin, inside his body, or on the surface of his glowing torso.
He kissed me. He kissed me deep and long, and this time he didn’t taste like
mead. He tasted of flesh, of lips and mouth and tongue, and the graze of teeth
along my lower lip. And still the mead ran down our bodies, spreading out, out into
a golden pool. The fur underneath us flattened in the tide of it. He spilled his mouth and hands down my body, over my breasts. He
held them in his hands, gently, caressed my nipples with his lips and tongue
until I cried out, and I felt my body grow wet, but not from the spreading
golden pool of mead. I watched the pale blue lines on his arm flow into shapes, flowers
and vines, and move down his hand and across my skin. It felt as if someone
traced a feather across my skin. A voice cried out, and it wasn’t me, and it wasn’t Abeloec. Brii
had fallen to his hands and knees, his long yellow hair spilling down into the
growing pool of mead. Abeloec sucked harder on my breast, forcing my attention back to
him. His eyes still didn’t glow, but there was that intensity in them that is a
kind of magic, a kind of power. The power that all men have when they spill
themselves down your body with skilled hands and mouth. He moved his mouth over me, drinking where the mead had pooled in
the hollow of my stomach. He licked the tender skin just above the hair that
curled between my legs. His tongue pressed in long sure strokes over such
innocent skin. It made me wonder what it would be like when he dropped lower to
things that weren’t so innocent. A man’s strangled cry made me look away from Abeloec’s dark eyes. I
knew that voice. Galen had fallen to his knees. His skin was a green so pale it
was white, but now green lines traced his skin, glowing, writhing under his
skin. Forming vines and flowers, pictures. Other cries drew my attention to the
rest of the room. Of the fifteen guards, most were on their knees, or worse.
Some had fallen flat to the floor to writhe on their stomachs, as if they were
trapped in the flowing golden liquid, as if it were liquid amber and they were
insects about to be caught forever. And they fought against their fate. Lines of blue, or green, or red, traced their bodies. I caught
glimpses of animals, vines, images drawn over their skin, like tattoos that
were alive and growing. Doyle and Rhys stood in the growing tide and seemed unmoved. But
Doyle stared at his hands and arms, at lines tracing those strong arms, crimson
against that blackness. Rhys’s body was painted with palest blue, but he didn’t
watch the lines; he watched me and Abeloec. Frost, also, stood in the writhing
spill of liquid, but he, like Doyle, stared at the tracing of lines that glowed
over his skin. Nicca stood tall and straight with his brown hair and the
brilliant spill of his wings, like the sails of some faerie ship, but no lines
covered his skin: He remained untouched. It was Barinthus, tallest of all the sidhe, who had moved to the
door. He stood pressed to it, avoiding the spill of mead that seemed to creep
like a thing alive across the floor. He held on to the door handle as if it
would not open. As if we were trapped here until the magic had its way with us. A small sound drew me back to gaze at the bed, and Kitto still
perched there, safe above the flowing mead. His eyes were wide, as if he was
afraid, regardless. He was afraid of so much. Abeloec rubbed his cheek across my thigh. It brought me back to
him. Back to gazing into those dark, almost human eyes. The glow of his skin
and mine had dimmed. I realized that he’d paused to let me look around the
room. Now his hands slid under my thighs, and he lowered his face,
hesitating, as if he were coming in for a chaste kiss. But what he did with his
mouth wasn’t chaste. He plunged his tongue thick and sure across me. The
sensation threw my head back, bowed my spine. Upside down, I saw the door open, saw the surprised look on the
face of Barinthus as Mistral, the queen’s new captain of the guard, strode in.
His hair the grey of rain clouds. Once he had been the master of storms, a sky
god. Now he strode into the room and slipped on the mead, started to fall. Then
it was as if the world blinked. One moment he was falling near the door; the
next he was above me, falling toward me. He put his hands out to try to catch
himself, and I put my arms up to keep him from falling on top of me. His hand caught the floor, but my hand touched his chest. He
shuddered above me on his knees and one hand, as if I had made his heart
stutter. I touched him through the tough softness of leather armor. He was safe
behind it, but the look on his face was that of a stricken man, eyes wide. He was close enough now that I could see his eyes were the swimming
green of the sky before a great storm breaks, destroying all in its path. Only
great anxiety could bring his eyes to that color, or great anger. Long ago, the
sky itself had changed with the color of Mistral’s eyes. My skin sang to life, glowing like a white-hot star. Abeloec glowed
with me. For the first time, I saw the lines on my own skin, and the writhing
lines of color marched over us, neon blue in the glow. I watched a thorny vine
crawl blue and alive down my hand to unfurl across Mistral’s pale skin. Mistral’s body convulsed above me, and it was as if the lines of
color drew him down toward me; as if they were ropes pulling him down, down.
His eyes stayed unwilling, his body fighting with muscle and might. Only when
he was nearly on top of me and Abeloec, and only the force of his shoulders
held his face above mine, did his eyes change. I watched that frightening storm
green fade from his eyes, replaced with a blue as swimming and pure as a summer
sky. I’d never known his eyes could be that blue. The blue lines in his skin painted a lightning bolt across his
cheek; then his face was too close to mine for me to see details. His mouth was
upon mine, and I kissed Mistral for the second time ever. He kissed me, as if he would breathe the air he needed to live from
my mouth, as if, if his mouth did not touch mine, it would be death. His hands
slid down my body, and when he touched my breasts he made a sound deep in his
throat that was eager—almost a sound of pain. Abeloec chose that moment to remind me that there was more than one
mouth against my body. He fed between my legs with tongue and lips and,
lightly, teeth, so that I made my own eager sounds into Mistral’s mouth. It
drew another of those sounds from him that was both eager and pain-filled, as
if he wanted this so badly that it hurt. His hand convulsed on my breast. Hard
enough that it did hurt, but in that way that pain can feed into pleasure. I writhed
under both their mouths, plunging lips to Mistral, hips to Abeloec. It was at
that moment that the world swam. I THOUGHT AT FIRST IT WAS SIMPLY THE INSIDE OF
MY OWN head, caught in pleasure. But then I realized there was no longer
a fur rug, heavy with mead, under my body. I lay instead on dry twigs that
poked and prodded my bare skin. The shift of surroundings was enough to draw the attention of us
all away from mouths and hands. We were in a dark place, for the only light was
the glow of our bodies. But it was a brighter glow than just the three of us
held. It made me look beyond the men touching me. Frost, Rhys, and Galen were
like pale ghosts of themselves. Doyle was almost invisible except for the lines
of power. There were others glowing in the dark, almost all the vegetative
deities and Nicca, standing with his wings glowing around him. They’d gone back
to being a tattoo on his back until tonight. I didn’t remember Nicca touching
the mead. I looked for Barinthus and Kitto, but they weren’t here. It was as if
the magic had picked and chosen among my men. By the glow of our bodies I saw
dead plants. Withered things. We were in the dead gardens—those once magical underground lands
where legend had it that faerie had its own sun and moon, rain and weather. But
I had never known any of that. The power of the sidhe had faded long before I
was born. The gardens were simply dead now, and the sky overhead was only bare,
empty rock. I heard someone say, “How?” Then those lines of color flared
bright: crimson, neon blue, emerald green in the dark. It forced cries from the
dark, and sent Abeloec’s mouth back between my legs. Mistral’s mouth pressed
into mine, his hands eager on my body. It was a sweet trap, but trap it was,
laid for us by something that cared little for what we wanted. The magic of
faerie held us, and we would not be free until that magic was satisfied. I tried to be afraid, but I couldn’t. There was nothing but the
feel of Abeloec’s and Mistral’s bodies on mine, and the push of the dead earth
underneath me. ABELOEC’S TONGUE MADE LONG, SURE STROKES
AROUND THE edge of my opening, then a caress at the top as he moved
downward again. Mistral’s hands played with my breasts in the same way he
kissed, as if he could not fill his hands with enough of my body, as if the
sensation was something that he had to have. He rolled my nipples between his
fingers, and finally moved his mouth from mine to join his hands at my breasts.
He took one breast into his mouth, as far as he could, as if he would truly eat
my flesh. He sucked hard, and harder, until his teeth began to press into me. Abeloec moved up to that sweet place at the top of my opening and
began to roll his tongue over and around it. Mistral’s teeth pressed in slowly,
as if he were waiting for me to say stop, but I didn’t. The combination of
Abeloec’s mouth, sure and gentle between my legs, and the inexorable pressure
of Mistral’s mouth on my breast, tight and tighter, was exquisite. A soft breeze danced across my skin. A trickle of wind pushed
strands of Mistral’s hair across my body, pulling strands free from his long
ponytail. His teeth continued their relentless press. He was crushing my breast
between his teeth, and it felt so good. Abeloec’s tongue flicked fast and
faster over that one sweet point. The wind blew harder, sending dead leaves skittering across our
bodies. Mistral’s teeth were almost met in my breast, and it hurt now. I
opened my mouth to tell him to stop, but in that moment Abeloec flicked that
one last time I needed. He brought me screaming, my hands flinging outward,
upward, searching for something to hold on to, while Abeloec built the orgasm
with tongue and mouth. My hands found Mistral. I dug nails into his bare arms, and only
when one of my hands reached for his thigh did he grab my wrist. To do it, he
had to release my breast from the prison of his mouth. He pinned my hands into
the dry earth, while I screamed and strained to reach him with nails and teeth.
He stayed just above me, pressing my wrists into the ground. He stared down at
me with eyes flickering with light. My last sight of his eyes, before Abeloec
made me fling my head from side to side, fighting against the pleasure, was
that they were full of lightning, flickering, dancing, so bright it made shadows
on the glow of my skin. Abeloec’s hands dug into my thighs, holding me in place, while I
struggled to break free. It felt so good—so good—that I thought I would lose my
mind if he didn’t stop. So good that I wanted him both to stop, and never to
stop. The wind blew harder. Dried, woody vines screeched in the growing
wind, and trees creaked with protest, as if their dead limbs would not last the
wind. The lines of color that fed out from Abeloec, red and blue and
green, grew brighter with the wind. The colors pulsed bright and brighter.
Maybe because the light was so intensely colored, it didn’t so much push back
the darkness as make the darkness glow—as if the endless night had been brushed
with neon lights. Abeloec let go of my thighs, and the moment he did the lights
dimmed, just a little. He knelt between my legs and began unlacing his
breeches. His modern clothes had been ruined in last night’s assassination
attempt, and he, like most of the men who rarely left faerie, had few things
with zippers or metal buttons. I started to say no, because he hadn’t asked, and because the magic
was receding. I could think again, as if the orgasm had cleared my mind. I was supposed to be having as much sex as I could, for if I didn’t
get with child soon, not only would I never be queen, but I’d probably be dead.
If my cousin Cel got someone with child before I got pregnant, he would be
king, and he would kill me, and all who were loyal to me. It was an incentive
to fuck that no aphrodisiac could match. But there was something sharp under my back, and more smaller pains
up and down my body. Dead branches and bits of plant poking and biting at me. I
hadn’t noticed it until after the orgasm, when the endorphins were receding at
a rapid rate. There’d been almost no afterglow, just mind-blowing orgasm, and
then this feeling of fading, of being aware of every discomfort. If Abeloec had
missionary position in mind, we needed a blanket. It wasn’t like me to lose interest so quickly. If Abeloec was as
talented with other things as he was with his mouth, then he was someone I
wanted to bed, just for sheer pleasure. So why did I suddenly find myself with no
upon my lips and a desire to get up off the ground? THEN A VOICE CAME OUT OF THE GROWING DARK AS
THE LINES of color faded—a voice that froze us all where we were and
sent my heart pounding into my throat. “Well, well, well, I call for my captain
of the guard, Mistral, and he is nowhere to be found. My healer tells me that
you all vanished from the bedroom. I searched for you in the dark, and here you
are.” Andais, Queen of Air and Darkness, stepped out from the far wall. Her
pale skin was a whiteness in the growing dark, but there was light around her,
light as if black could be a flame and give illumination. “If you had stood in the light, I would have not found you, but you
stand in the dark, the deep dark of the dead gardens. You cannot hide from me
here, Mistral.” “No one was hiding from you, my queen,” Doyle said—the first any of
us had spoken since we’d all been brought here. She waved him silent and walked over the dry grass. The wind that
had been whipping the leaves was dying now, as the colors died. The last of the wind fluttered the hem of her black robe. “Wind?”
She made it a question. “There has not been wind in here for centuries.” Mistral had left me to drop to his knees before her. His skin faded
as he moved away from me and Abeloec. I wondered if his eyes still flashed with
lightning, but was betting they did not. “Why did you leave my side, Mistral?” She touched his chin with
long pointed nails, raised his face so he had to look at her. “I sought guidance,” he said in a voice that both was low and
seemed to carry in the growing dark. Now that Abeloec and I had stopped having
sex, all the light was fading, all the flow on everyone’s skin was dying away.
Soon we would stand in a darkness so absolute that you could touch your own
eyeball without first blinking. A cat would be blind in here; even a cat’s eyes
need some light. “Guidance for what, Mistral?” She made of his name an evil whine
that held the threat of pain, as a smell on the wind can promise rain. He tried to bow his head, but she kept her fingertips under his
chin. “You sought guidance from my Darkness?” Abeloec helped me to my feet and held me close, not for romance,
but the way all the fey do when they’re nervous. We touch one another, huddling
in the dark, as if the touch of another’s hand will keep the great bad thing
from happening. “Yes,” Mistral said. “Liar,” the queen said, and the last thing I saw before the
darkness swallowed the world was the gleam of a blade in her other hand. It
flashed from her robe, where she’d hidden it. I spoke before I could think: “No!” Her voice crawled out of the darkness and seemed to creep along my
skin. “Meredith, niece, do you actually forbid me from punishing one of my own
guards? Not one of your guards, but mine, mine!” The darkness was heavier, thicker, and it took more effort to
breathe. I knew she could make the very air so heavy that it would crush the
life out of me. She could make the air so thick that my mortal lungs couldn’t
draw it in. She’d nearly killed me just yesterday, when I interfered in one of
her “entertainments.” “There was wind in the dead gardens.” Doyle’s deep voice came so
low, so deep, that it seemed to vibrate along my spine. “You felt the wind. You
remarked upon the wind.” “Yes, I did, but now it is gone. Now the gardens are dead, dead as
they will always be.” A pale green light sprang from the darkness. Doyle holding a cup of
sickly greenish flames in his hands. It was one of his hands of power. I’d seen
the touch of that fire crawl over other sidhe and make them wish for death. But
as so many things in faerie, it had other uses. It was a welcome light in the
dark. The light showed that it was no longer her fingertips that held
Mistral’s chin upward, but the edge of a blade. Her blade, Mortal Dread. One of
the few things left that could bring true death to the immortal sidhe. “What if the gardens could live again?” Doyle asked. “As the roses
outside the throne room live again.” She smiled most unpleasantly. “Do you propose to spill more of
Meredith’s precious blood? That was the price for the roses’ renewal.” “There are ways to give life that do not require blood,” he said. “You think you can fuck the gardens back to life?” she asked. She
used the edge of the blade to raise Mistral up high on his knees. Doyle said, “Yes.” “This, I would like to see,” she said. “I don’t think it will work if you are here,” Rhys said. A pale
white light appeared over his head. Small, round, a gentle whiteness that
illumined where he walked. It was the light that most of the sidhe, and many of
the lesser fey, could make at will; a small magic that most possessed. If I
wanted light in the dark, I had to find a flashlight or a match. Rhys moved, in his soft circle of light, slowly, toward the queen. She spoke: “A little fucking after a few centuries of celibacy
makes you bold, one-eye.” “The fucking makes me happy,” he said. “This makes me bold.” He
raised his right arm, showing her the underside of it. The light was not strong
enough, and the angle not right, for me to see what was so interesting. She frowned; then, as he moved closer, her eyes widened. “What is
that?” But her hand had lowered enough that Mistral was no longer trying to
raise himself up on his knees to keep from being cut. “It is exactly what you think it is, my queen,” Doyle said. He
began to move closer to her, as well. “Close enough, both of you.” She emphasized her words by forcing
Mistral back high on his knees. “We mean you no harm, my queen,” Doyle said. “Perhaps I mean you harm, Darkness.” “That is your privilege,” he said. I opened my mouth to correct him, because he was my captain of the
guard now. She wasn’t allowed to simply hurt him for the hell of it, not
anymore. Abeloec tightened his hand on my arm. He whispered against my hair,
“Not yet, Princess. The Darkness does not need your help yet.” I wanted to argue, but his reasoning was sound, as far as it went.
I opened my mouth to argue, but as I looked up into his face, the argument fell
away from me. His suggestion just seemed so reasonable. Something bumped my hip, and I realized he was holding the horn
cup. He was the cup, and the cup was him, in some mystical way, but when he
touched it, he became more. More…reasonable. Or rather his suggestions did. I wasn’t sure I liked that he could do that to me, but I let it go.
We had enough problems without getting sidetracked. I whispered, “What is on
Rhys’s arm?” But Abeloec and I stood in the dark, and the Queen of Air and
Darkness could hear anything that was spoken into the air in the dark. She
answered me, “Show her, Rhys. Show her what has made you bold.” Rhys didn’t turn his back on her, but moved sort of sideways toward
us. The soft, white sourceless light moved with him, outlining his upper body.
In a battle it would have been worse than useless; it would have made him a
target. But the immortal don’t sweat things like that—if you can’t die, I guess
you can make as obvious a target of yourself as you like. The light touched us first, like that first white breath of dawn
that slides across the sky, so white, so pure, when dawn is nothing more than
the fading of darkness. As Rhys got closer to us, the white light seemed to
expand, sliding down his body, showing that he was still nude. He held his arm out toward me. There was a pale blue outline of a
fish that stretched from just above his wrist almost to his elbow. The fish was
head-down toward his hand and seemed oddly curved, like a half circle waiting
for its other half. Abeloec touched it much as the queen had done, lightly, with just
his fingertips. “I have not seen that on your arm since I stopped being a pub
keeper.” “I know Rhys’s body,” I said. “It’s never been there before.” “Not in your lifetime,” Abeloec said. I glanced from him to Rhys. To him, I said, “It’s a fish, why…” “A salmon,” he said, “to be exact.” I closed my mouth so I wouldn’t say something stupid. I tried to do
what my father had always taught me to do, think. I thought out loud…“A salmon
means knowledge. One of our legends says that because the salmon is the oldest
living creature, it has all the knowledge since the world began. It means
longevity, because of the same legend.” “Legend, is it?” Rhys said with a smile. “I have a degree in biology, Rhys; nothing you say will convince me
that a salmon predated the trilobites, or even the dinosaurs. Modern fish is
just that, modern, on a geological scale.” Abeloec was looking at me curiously. “I’d forgotten Prince Essus
insisted on you being educated among the humans.” He smiled. “When you’re
reasoning things out, you aren’t as easy to distract.” He tightened his other
hand, with the cup still gripped in it. I frowned, and finally stepped away from him. “Stop that.” “You drank from his cup,” Rhys said. “He should be able to persuade
you of almost anything.” He grinned as he said it. “If you were human.” “I guess she’s not human enough,” Abeloec said. “You’re all acting as if that pale tattoo is important. I don’t
understand why.” “Didn’t Essus ever tell you about it?” asked Rhys. I frowned. “My father didn’t mention anything about a tattoo on
your arm.” The queen made a derisive noise. “Essus didn’t think you were
important enough to be told.” “He didn’t tell her,” Doyle said, “for the same reason that Galen
doesn’t know.” Galen was still lying in the dead garden. All the other men who had
fallen to the ground were still kneeling or sitting in the dead vegetation. A
soft greenish white glow began to form above Galen’s head. Not a nimbus like
that of Rhys, but more of a small ball of light above his head. Galen found his voice, hoarse, and had to clear it sharply before
he said, “I don’t know about any tattoos on Rhys, either.” “None of us has told the younger ones, Queen Andais,” Doyle said.
“Everyone knows that our followers painted themselves with symbols and went
into battle with only those symbols to shield them.” “They eventually learned to wear armor,” Andais said. Her arm had
lowered enough for Mistral to be comfortable on his knees again. “Yes, and only the last few fanatical tribes kept trying to seek
our favor and blessing. They died for that devotion,” Doyle said. “What are you talking about?” I asked. “Once we, the sidhe, their gods, were painted with symbols that
were our sign of blessing from the Goddess and the God. But as our power faded,
so did the marks upon our bodies.” Doyle said it all in his thick-as-molasses
voice. Rhys picked up the story. “Once, if our followers painted their
bodies to mimic us, they gained some of the protection, the magic, that we had.
It was a sign of devotion, yes, but once long, long ago, it literally could
call us to their aid.” He looked at the faint blue fish on his arm. “I have not
held this mark for nearly four thousand years.” “It is faint and incomplete,” the queen said from the far wall. “Yes.” Rhys nodded and looked at her. “But it is a beginning.” Nicca’s voice came soft, and I’d almost forgotten him, standing so
still to one side. His wings began to gleam in the dark, as if their veins had
begun to pulse with light instead of blood. He fanned those huge wings. They
had been only a birthmark on the back of his body until a few days ago, when
they had sprung from his back, real and true at last. They began to glow as if
the individual colors were stained glass gleaming in sunlight that we could not
see. He held out his right hand, and showed us a mark on the outer part
of the wrist, almost on the hand itself. The light was too uncertain for me to
be sure of what it was, but Doyle said, “A butterfly.” “I have never held a mark of favor from the Goddess,” Nicca said in
his soft voice. The queen lowered her blade completely, so that it went back to
being invisible in the full black skirt of her robe. “What of the rest of you?” “You’ll be able to feel it, if you think about it,” Rhys said to
the others. Frost called a ball of light that was a dim silver-grey. It held
above his head much as Galen’s greenish light had. Frost began unbuttoning his
shirt. He rarely went nude if he could avoid it, so I knew before he bared the
perfect curve of his right shoulder that there would be something there. He turned his arm so he could see it. The queen said, “Show us.” He let her see first, then turned in a slow half circle to us. It
was as pale and blue as Rhys’s had been, a small dead tree, leafless, naked,
and the ground underneath it seemed to hint at a snowbank. Like Rhys’s salmon
it was dim, and not drawn in completely, as if someone had begun the job but
not finished. “Killing Frost has never held a sign of favor,” the queen said, and
her voice was strangely unhappy. “No,” Frost said, “I have not. I was not fully sidhe when last the
sidhe held such favors.” He shrugged back into his shirt and began to button it
into place. He wasn’t just dressed, he was armed. Most of the others held a
sword and dagger, but only Doyle and Frost had guns. Rhys had left his gun
behind with his clothes in the bedroom. I noticed a bulge here and there under Frost’s shirt, which meant
he held more weapons than could be easily seen. He liked being armed, but this
many weapons meant something had made him nervous. The assassination attempts,
maybe, or maybe something else. His handsome face was closed to me, hidden
behind the arrogance that he used as a mask. Perhaps he was just hiding his
thoughts and feelings from the queen, but then again…Frost tended to be moody. Rhys said, “Let Abeloec and Merry finish what they began. Let us
all finish it.” Queen Andais took in a deep breath, so that even across the dimly
lit chamber I could see the rise and fall of the V of white flesh in her robe.
“Very well, finish it. Then come to me, for we have much to discuss.” She held
out her hand to Mistral. “Come, my captain, let us leave them to their
pleasures.” Mistral did not question. He stood and took her pale hand. “We need him,” Rhys said. “No,” Andais said, “no, I have given Meredith my green men. She
does not need the whole world.” “Does grass grow without wind and rain?” Doyle asked. “No,” she said, and her voice was unfriendly again, as if she would
like to be angry but couldn’t afford to be right now. Andais was a creature of
her temper; she always indulged it. This much self-restraint from her was rare. “To make spring, you need many things, my queen,” said Doyle.
“Without warmth and water, plants wither and die.” They stared at each other,
the queen and her Darkness. It was the queen who looked away first. “Mistral may stay.” She released his hand, then looked across the
cavern at me. “But let this be understood between us, niece. He is not yours.
He is mine. He is yours only for this space of time. Is that clear to all of
you?” We all nodded. “And you, Mistral,” the queen said. “Do you understand?” “My geas is lifted for this space of time with the princess alone.” “Clearly put, as always,” she said. She turned her back as if she
would walk through the wall, then turned and looked over her shoulder. “I will
finish what I was doing when I noticed your absence, Mistral.” He dropped to his knees. “My queen, please do not do this…” She turned back with a smile that was almost pleasant—except for
the look in her eyes, which even from here was frightening. “You mean, do not
leave you with the princess?” “No, my queen, you know that is not what I mean.” “Do I?” she said, danger in her voice. She glided over the dead
brush and placed the point of Mortal Dread under his chin. “You didn’t come to
ask the advice of my Darkness. You came to bid the princess to intercede for
Nerys’s clan.” Mistral’s shoulders moved as if he’d breathed deeply, or swallowed
hard. “Answer me, Mistral,” she said, a whine of rage like a razor’s edge
in her voice. “Nerys gave her life on your word that you would not kill her
people. You—” He stopped talking abruptly, as if she’d nudged the point close
enough that he couldn’t speak without cutting himself. “Aunt Andais,” I said, “what have you done to Nerys’s people?” “They tried to kill you and me last night, or have you forgotten?” “I remember, but I also remember that Nerys asked you to take her
life, so that you might spare her house. You gave your word that you would let
them live if she died in their place.” “I have not harmed a single one,” she said, and she looked entirely
too pleased with herself. “What does that mean?” I asked. “I merely offered the men a chance to serve their queen as a member
of my royal guard. I need my Ravens at full strength.” “Joining your guard means giving up all family loyalties and
becoming celibate. Why would they agree to either of those things?” I asked. She took the blade away from Mistral’s throat. “You were so eager
to tattle on me. Tell her now.” “May I rise, my queen?” he asked. “Rise, cartwheel—I care not—just tell her.” Mistral rose cautiously, and when she made no move toward him, he
began to ease across the room toward us. His throat was dark in the flickering
lights. She’d bled him. Any sidhe could heal such a small cut, but because
Mortal Dread had done the damage, he would heal mortal slow; human slow. Mistral’s eyes were wide, frightened, but he moved easily across
the dead ground, as if he weren’t worried that she would do something to him as
he walked away from her. I know that my shoulder blades would have been aching
with the fear of the blow. Only when he was out of reach of her sword did some
of the panic leave his eyes. Even then, they were that shade of tornado green.
Anxiety. “Far enough,” she said. “Meredith can hear you from there.” He stopped obediently, but he swallowed hard, as if he didn’t like
that she’d stopped him before he got back to us. I didn’t blame him. The queen
had magic that could destroy from this distance. She’d probably made him stop
just so he would worry. She might intend him no more harm, but she wanted him
to be afraid. She liked for people to be afraid of her. “She has put metal chains of binding on all of the house of Nerys,
so they can do no magic,” said Mistral. “I can’t argue with that,” I said. “They attacked us at court, all
of them. They should lose their magic for a time.” “She has given the men the chance to become her Ravens. The women
she has offered to the prince’s guard, his Cranes.” “Cel is in seclusion, locked away. He needs no guard,” I said. “Most of the women would not agree to it, anyway,” Mistral said.
“But the queen had to be seen giving them all a choice.” “A choice between becoming guards and what?” I asked. I was almost
afraid of the answer. She’d been carrying Mortal Dread. I prayed that she
hadn’t executed them. She would be forsworn before the entire court. And I
needed Andais on the throne until she confirmed me as her heir. “The queen has bid Ezekiel and his helpers to wall them up alive,”
said Mistral. I blinked at him. I couldn’t quite follow it all. My first thought
was to protest that the queen was forsworn; then I realized she wasn’t.
“They’re immortal, so they won’t die,” I said, softly. “They will know terrible hunger and thirst, and they will wish to
die,” Mistral said, “but no, they are immortal, and they will not die.” I looked past him to my aunt. “Tricksy you,” I said. “Very damn
clever.” She gave a little bow from the neck. “So glad you appreciate the
delicate reasoning of it.” “Oh, I do,” and I meant it. “You’ve broken no oath. In fact,
technically, you’re doing exactly what Nerys gave her life for. Her clan, her
house, her bloodline will live.” “That is not living,” Mistral said. “Did you really think that the princess had enough influence with
me to save them from their fate?” asked Andais. “Once I would have gone to Essus, to ask his help with you,”
Mistral said. “So I sought the princess.” “She is not my brother,” Andais snarled. “No, she is not Essus,” Mistral said, “but she is his child. She is
your blood.” “And what does that mean, Mistral? That she can bargain for Nerys’s
people? They have already been bargained for, by Nerys herself.” “You are pixieing on the spirit of that bargain,” Rhys said. “But not breaking it,” she said. “No,” he said, and he looked so sad. “No, the sidhe never lie, and
we always keep our word. Except our version of the truth can be more dangerous
than any lie, and you’d better think through every word of any oath we give our
word to, because we will find a way to make you regret you ever met us.” He
sounded more angry than sad. “Do you dare to criticize your queen?” she asked. I touched Rhys’s arm, squeezed. He looked first at my hand, then at
my face. Whatever he saw there made him take a deep breath and shake his head.
“No one would dare to do that, Queen Andais.” His voice was resigned again. “What would you give for a sign that life was returning to the
gardens?” Doyle asked. “What do you mean by sign?” she asked, and her voice held
all the suspicion of someone who knew us all too well. “What would you give for some hint of life here in the gardens?” “A
little wind is not a sign,” she said. “But would the beginnings of life here in the gardens be worth
nothing to you, my queen?” “Of course it would be worth something.” “It could mean that our power was returning,” Doyle said. She motioned with the sword, silver gleaming dully in the light. “I
know what it would mean, Darkness.” “And a return of our power, what would that be worth to you,
Queen?” “I know where you are going, Darkness. Do not try to play such
games with me. I invented these games.” “Then I will not play. I will state plainly. If we can bring some
hint of life to these underground worlds, then you will wait to punish, in any
way, Nerys’s people. Or anyone else.” A smile as cruel and cold as a winter morning curved her lips.
“Good catch, Darkness, good catch.” My throat was tight with the realization that if he’d forgotten the
last phrase, others would have paid for her anger. Someone who would have
mattered to Doyle, or me, or both, if she could have found them. Rhys was
right: This was a dangerous game, this game of words. “For what shall I wait?” she asked. “For us to bring life to the dead gardens, of course,” he said. “And if you do not bring life to the dead gardens, then what?” “Then when we are all convinced that the princess and her men
cannot bring life back to the gardens, you are free to do with Nerys’s people as
you intended.” “And if you do bring life to the gardens, what then?” she asked. “If we bring even a hint of life back to the gardens, you will let
Princess Meredith choose the punishment of those who tried to have her
assassinated.” She shook her head. “Clever, Darkness, but not clever enough. If
you bring a hint of life back to the gardens, then I will allow Meredith to
punish Nerys’s people.” It was his turn to shake his head. “If the Princess Meredith and
some of her men bring even a hint of life back to these gardens, then Meredith
alone decides what punishment shall be meted out to Nerys’s people.” She seemed to think about that for a moment or two, then nodded.
“Agreed.” “You give your word, the word of the queen of the Unseelie Court?” he asked. She nodded. “I do.” “Witnessed,” Rhys said. She waved her hand dismissively. “Fine, fine, you have your
promise. But remember, I have to agree that there is at least a hint of life.
It better be some evidence impressive enough that I can’t pixie out of it, Darkness,
because you know I will, if I can.” “I know,” he said. She looked at me, then. It was not a friendly look. “Enjoy Mistral,
Meredith. Enjoy him and know that he comes back to me when this is done.” “Thank you for loaning him to me,” I said, and kept my voice
absolutely empty. She made a face at me. “Don’t thank me, Meredith—not yet. You’ve
only bedded him once.” She motioned at me with the sword. “Though I see that
you have found what he considers pleasure: He likes to cause pain.” “I would have thought that he would be your ideal lover then, Aunt
Andais.” “I like to cause pain, niece Meredith, not be on the receiving
end.” I swallowed hard, so I wouldn’t say what I was thinking. I finally
managed, “I did not know that you were a pure sadist, Aunt Andais.” She frowned at me. “Pure sadist—that’s an odd phrase.” “I meant only that I didn’t know you didn’t like pain on your own
body at all.” “Oh, I like a little teeth, a little nails, but not like that.”
Again she motioned at my breast. It ached where he’d bitten me, and I had a
near-perfect imprint of his teeth, though he hadn’t broken the skin. I would be
bruised, but nothing more. She shook her head, as if to chase away a thought, then turned, and
the motion caused her black robe to swirl wide. She grabbed the edge of it, to
pull it around herself. She looked back over her shoulder one last time before
she stepped into the darkness and traveled back the way she’d come. Her last
words were not a comfort. “After Mistral’s had his way with her, do not come
crying to me that he’s broken your little princess.” And the piece of darkness
where she had been was empty. So many of us let out a sigh of relief at the same time that it was
like the sound of wind in the trees. Someone gave a nervous laugh. “She is right about one thing,” Mistral said, and his eyes held
regret. “I like causing a little pain. I am sorry if I hurt you, but it has
been so long since…” He spread his hands wide. “I forgot myself. I am sorry for
that.” Rhys laughed, and Doyle joined him, and finally even Galen and
Frost joined in that soft masculine sound. “Why do you laugh?” Mistral asked. Rhys turned to me, his face still shining with laughter. “Do you
want to tell him, or do we?” I actually blushed, which I almost never do. I kept Abe’s hand in
mine and drew us both across the dry, brittle grass until I stood in front of
Mistral. I looked at the blood that trickled dark across his pale neck and
gazed up into his eyes, so anxious. I had to smile. “I like what you did to my
breast. That’s just about as hard as I like it, just this side of drawing blood
with teeth.” He frowned at me. “You like the nail work to be harder than the teeth,” Rhys said.
“You don’t mind bleeding a little from nails.” “But only if you’ve done the preliminaries,” I said. “Preliminaries?” Mistral said, and sounded puzzled. “Foreplay,” Abeloec said. The puzzled look faded, and something else entirely filled his
eyes. Something warm and sure of itself, something that made me shiver just
from him looking at me. “I can do that,” he said. “Then take off the armor,” I said. “What?” he asked. “Get naked,” Rhys called. “I can speak for myself, thank you,” I said, glancing back at him. He made a little motion as if to say, Be my guest. I turned
back to Mistral. I gazed up into his face, and found that his eyes were already
beginning to fade to a soft grey, like rain clouds. I smiled at him, and he
smiled back, a little uncertainly, as if he wasn’t used to smiling much. “Get naked,” I said. He grinned, a brief flash of it. “Then what?” “We have sex.” “I’m first,” Abeloec said, hugging me from behind. I nodded. “Agreed.” Mistral’s face darkened; I could almost see clouds in his eyes. Not
just the color of the irises, but the actual image of clouds floating in the
pupils. “Why is he first?” he asked. “Because he can be part of the foreplay,” I said. “She means, once I’ve fucked her, then you can do it rougher,” said
Abeloec. Mistral smiled again, but this smile was different. This was a
smile that made me breathe harder. “You really liked what I did to your
breast?” he asked. I swallowed hard, pressing myself against Abeloec’s body, almost as
if I were afraid of the taller man in front of me. I nodded and whispered,
“Yes.” “Good,” he said, and he reached for the leather fastenings that held
his armor in place. “Very good,” he whispered. THE MOMENT ABELOEC LAID ME DOWN ON A BED OF
CASTOFF clothes, our skin began to glow. It was a thin layer of my
guards’ shirts and tunics, just enough so that I wouldn’t pierce my body on the
dead vegetation. It amounted to all the clothing the men were wearing, which
hadn’t been much—and it left them all nude. I could still feel the dry sticks,
crumbling leaves, dry and withered, crushed underneath me. It wasn’t the feel of the ground in winter. No matter how cold the
winter, how deep the snow, there is a feeling of waiting in the ground then—a
sense that the land is merely asleep, and the sun will wake it, and spring will
come. Not here. It was like the difference between a body that is deeply asleep
and one that is dead. At a glance, your eyes may see no difference, but if you
touch it, you know. The ground that Abeloec’s body pressed me into held
nothing—no warmth, breath, life. Empty, like the eyes of the dead that but a
moment ago held personality, and now are like dark mirrors. The gardens weren’t
waiting for reawakening; they were just dead. But we weren’t dead. Abeloec laid his naked body against mine and kissed me. The height
difference meant that all he could do was kiss me, but it was enough. Enough to
conjure that moonglow inside our bodies. He raised up on his arms to stare down at my face. His skin glowed
so bright that again his eyes became like dark grey caves in his face. I’d
never met any sidhe whose eyes did not glow when their power came upon them.
His long hair spilled out around us, and the white lines in his hair began to
glow softly blue, like before. He raised higher on his arms, almost in a
push-up, so that his body was suspended above mine on hands and toes. Pale blue lines glowed through the white of his skin. Flowing
images of vines and flowers, and trees, and animals. Nothing stayed, nothing
lasted. There weren’t that many lines, and they didn’t move that fast. I should
have been able to tell what kind of vine, what fruit, what animal, but beyond
small, or large, it was as if my mind couldn’t hold the images. I traced the blue with my fingers, and it trailed over my hand,
tickled and teased across the white glow of my own skin. And even staring at my
own hand, I couldn’t tell you what plant it was that grew and flowered there.
It was as if I weren’t meant to see it, or at least not to understand it. Not
yet, maybe not ever. I stopped trying to make sense of the flowing lines, and gazed down
the length of Abeloec’s body where it stretched above mine. He held himself
above me like a shelter, as if he could have stayed there forever and never
tired. I reached down his body, worming underneath his steady strength, until I
could wrap my hand around the hard length of him. He shuddered above me. “I should be touching you.” His voice was
strained, thick with effort, but effort for what? His arms and shoulders, and
legs, were utterly still above me as if he were stone instead of flesh. It
wasn’t his strength that gave his voice that thick sound. At least not strength
of body. Maybe strength of will. I squeezed gently around his shaft, and he was hard, so terribly
hard. His breathing changed, and I could see his stomach fluttering with the
effort to stay steady above me. “How long has it been?” I asked. “I don’t remember,” he said. I stroked my hand up and over the head of him. His spine bowed
downward, and he almost fell on top of me, but then his arms and legs went back
to their firm stance. “I thought the sidhe did not lie.” “I do not remember exactly,” he said. His voice was breathy
now. I slid my other hand down to cup his balls and gently play with
them. He swallowed hard enough for me to hear it, and said, “If you keep
doing that, I’ll go, and that’s not how I want to go the first time.” I continued to play with him, gently. He was so hard, quiveringly
hard. Just holding him in my hands, I knew that the phrase aching with need
wasn’t merely words. He glowed and I could feel the power in him, but he did
not throb with it the way the others did. It was a quieter power, this. “What do you want the first time?” I asked, and my voice had gone
deeper, thickening with the feel of him in my hands. “I want to be inside you, between your legs—I want to make you come
before I do. But I do not know if I still have that kind of discipline.” “Then don’t be disciplined. This time, the first time, don’t worry
about it.” He shook his head, and the blue lines in his hair seemed to pulse
brighter. “I want to bring you such pleasure that you will want me in your bed
every night. So many men, Meredith, so many men in your bed. I don’t want to
wait my turn. I want you to come to me again and again, because no one brings
you as much pleasure as I do.” A sound made us both turn our heads; we found Mistral kneeling
beside us. “Hurry up and finish this, Abeloec, or I will not wait to be
second.” “Would you not worry, as I do, that you pleasure the princess?”
Abeloec asked. “Unlike you, I’ll have no second chance here, Abeloec. The queen
has decreed that this time is all I will ever have with the princess. So no, I
am not so worried about my performance.” He ran his hand through my hair,
pushing deep so that his fingers brushed my scalp. It made me cuddle my head
against his hand. He closed his fingers into a fist, and was suddenly jerking
my hair tight in his hand. It sped my pulse in my throat, tearing a sound from
my mouth that was not pain. My skin blazed to white-hot life. “We do not have to be gentle,” Mistral said. He leaned his face
near mine. “Do we, Princess?” I whispered, “No.” He pulled my hair tighter, and I cried out. I felt rather than saw
some of the other men move toward us. Mistral pulled my hair tight again,
bending my neck to one side, moving my body a little out from under Abeloec. “I
am not hurting you, am I, Princess?” “No.” All I could do was whisper. “I don’t think they heard you,” he said. He twisted his hand tight
and sudden in my hair. He put his lips against my cheek and whispered, “Scream
for me.” The blue lines crawled from my skin to his, and again I saw that
outline of lightning on his cheek. I whispered, “What will you do, if I don’t scream?” He kissed me, ever so gently against my cheek. “Hurt you.” My breath came out in a shudder. “Please,” I sighed. Mistral laughed, a wonderful deep laugh, with his face pressed
against mine and his hand still tight in my hair. “Hurry, Abeloec, hurry, or we
will have to fight to see who is first.” He let go of my hair so abruptly that
this motion, too, hurt a little, and forced a sound from me. Mistral turned me
back over to Abeloec with my eyes unfocused, and my breath either coming too
fast or nearly stopping for a moment—I couldn’t quite tell. My pulse seemed
uncertan if I was afraid or thrilled. But it was as if now that Mistral touched
me again, he could not quite give up touching me. He kept his fingers against
the side of my neck, as if he wanted to help my pulse decide. “I do not like to cause pain,” Abeloec said. His body was not quite
as happy as it had been. “Pain is not the only way to pleasure,” I said. His dark eyes narrowed at me from the shine of his face. “You do
not have to have pain to be pleasured?” I shook my head, feeling the lingering ache where Mistral’s hand
had been. “No.” Doyle’s deep voice came out of the dark. “Meredith likes violence,
but she also likes gentleness. It depends on her mood, and yours.” Both Abe and Mistral looked at him. “The queen cares nothing for
our moods,” Mistral said. “This one will,” Doyle said. Abeloec looked down at me and began to slowly lower himself toward
my body, for all the world like a push-up, except that I was in the way. His
mouth found mine before his body pressed into me. He kissed me, and the blue
was neon-bright and flared with lines of crimson and emerald. The lines of
color flared down Mistral’s hand, and it felt as if those lines were made of
rope, drawing his mouth to mine, and drawing Abeloec down my body. He half
knelt and half lay across my lower body. He spread my legs so that his body
spilled between them. But it was his finger that found me first—testing the
waters, I think. His voice was strangled as he said, “You’re still wet.” I would have answered but Mistral’s mouth found mine, and I gave
the only answer I could. I raised my hips toward Abeloec’s searching hand. The
next thing I felt was his hands moving to my hips. The tip of him of him
rubbing against my opening. Mistral raised his mouth from mine and half whispered, half
groaned, “Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her, please,” and the last word was drawn
out into a long sigh that ended in something close to a scream. Abeloec pushed himself inside me, and only then did he begin to
throb with power. It was almost like some huge vibrator, except this vibrator
was warm and alive, and had a mind and a body behind it. That mind moved the body in rhythms that no mere mechanical aid
could ever have produced. I watched Abeloec push in and out of my body like
some shining shaft of light, though it was undoubtedly flesh that went in and
out of me. Soft, firm, vibrating flesh. Mistral grabbed my hair again, pulled my head back so that I could
no longer watch Abeloec work his magic in my body. The look on Mistral’s face
would have frightened me if we’d been alone. He kissed me hard, so hard that it
was bruising. I had a choice of opening my mouth to him or cutting my lips on
my own teeth. I opened my mouth. His tongue plunged inside me, as if he were trying to do to my
mouth what Abeloec was doing between my legs. It was only his tongue, but he
kept pushing inside, pushing until he shoved my mouth so wide that my jaw began
to ache. He shoved his tongue so far down my throat that I gagged, and he drew
back. I thought he did it to let me swallow and catch my breath, but he drew
back so he could laugh. He let loose a roll of masculine pleasure that spilled
from his mouth and danced over my skin. There was an echo to it, that
laughter—an echo like distant thunder. His pausing gave me a chance to concentrate on Abeloec. He had
found a rhythm that plunged to the end of me, and out, in a rolling slide, a rhythm
that would have brought me eventually. But even beyond that, his body pulsed
inside mine. It was as if his magic throbbed with the rhythm of his body, so
that each time he plunged deep inside me the magic throbbed harder, and
vibrated faster. I took the chance Mistral had given me to say, “Abeloec, are you
making your magic pulse in time to your lovemaking?” His voice came tight with concentration. “Yes.” I started to say, Oh, Goddess, but Mistral’s mouth found
mine again, and I got only as far as, “Oh, God—” Mistral thrust his tongue so deep and hard into my mouth that it
was like oral sex when the man is too big for comfort. If you fight it, it
hurts, but if you relax, sometimes, you can do it. You can let the man have his
way with your mouth without breaking your jaw. I’d never had anyone kiss me
like this, and even as I fought to let him do it, I thought about him being
this forceful with other things, and the thought made me open wider to him,
wider to them both. They were both so skilled, but in such opposite ways that I
wondered what it would be like to have their full attention one at a time. But
there was no way to ask Mistral to wait, to give us room, because I could
barely breathe with his tongue down my throat, let alone speak. I wanted to speak;
I wanted to stop having to fight him to breathe. My jaw was aching hard enough
to distract me from Abeloec’s amazing fucking. Mistral had crossed that line
from feels good to fucking stop. We hadn’t arranged a sign that would let him know I wanted him to
stop. When you can’t speak, you usually have some prearranged way to tap out. I
started pushing at his shoulders, pushing like I meant it. I wasn’t as strong
as a full-blooded sidhe, but I had once put my hand through a car door to scare
away some would-be muggers, if that’s an indication. I had bloodied my hand,
but not broken it. So I pushed, and he pushed back. He had his mouth so far inside mine that I couldn’t even bite him.
I was choking, and he didn’t care. I could feel the orgasm beginning to build. I did not want
Abeloec’s good work spoiled by the fact that I was choking. Nails could be used for pleasure, or to make a point. I set my
nails in the firm flesh of Mistral’s neck and dug them in. I carved bloody
furrows in his skin. He jerked back from me, and seeing the rage on his face,
again, I was glad we weren’t alone. “When I say stop, you stop,” I said. And I realized that I was
angry, too. “You didn’t say stop.” “Because you made certain I couldn’t.” “You said you liked pain.” I was having trouble controlling my breathing, because Abeloec was
still vibrating and moving inside me. I was close. “I like pain to a point, but
not a broken jaw. We’ll need to lay some ground rules before…you…get…your
turn,” and the last word was a scream as I threw my head back and my body
spasmed. Mistral caught my head or I would have smashed it against the hard
ground. Abeloec’s pleasure spread through me, over me, in me, in waves.
Waves of pleasure, waves of power, over and over, as if here, too, he was able
to control what was happening. As if he could control my release the way he’d
controlled everything else. The orgasm would roll over me from my groin to
every inch of my body, then it would start again, spreading from between my
legs over my skin in a rush that sent my hands seeking something to hold on to,
my body thrashing. My entire upper body left the ground and smashed back, over
and over, while Abeloec held my hips and legs trapped against his body. Someone was behind me, catching me, trying to hold me down, but the
pleasure was too much. I could do nothing but struggle and scream, one long
ragged scream after another. My fingers found flesh to tear, and strong hands
held my wrist tight. My other hand found my own body, and tore at it. Another
hand found that wrist, pinned it to the floor. I heard voices over my screams: “Go, Abeloec, just finish it!” “Now, Abeloec!” urged Mistral. And he did, and suddenly the world was made of white light, and it
was as if I could feel his release between my legs, feel it hot and thick, and
him buried as deep inside me as he could go. I floated in that white light, and
found starbursts of red and green and blue. Then there was nothing, nothing but
white, white light. I DIDN’T PASS OUT, NOT COMPLETELY, NOT REALLY,
BUT IT WAS as if I were boneless, helpless in the afterglow of Abeloec’s
power. My eyes fluttered open when the lap my head was resting in moved. I
found Mistral above me, his hands still holding my wrists, still cuddling my
head. “I want you hurt, not broken,” he said, as if he saw something in my face
that he had to answer. It took me three tries to answer. “Glad to hear it,” I finally
said. He laughed then, and began to move carefully from under me. He laid
my head on the dead earth, gently. Apparently, I’d disarranged our makeshift
blanket, because I could feel other patches of dry, scratchy vegetation here
and there against my skin. I turned my head and looked for the others. Abeloec was crawling a
little shakily toward my head, as if he and Mistral were going to change
places. It took me a moment to focus past Abe, farther into the dark beyond. The darkness was shot with neon glow, blue, green, and red. The
colors were everywhere, some individual burning lines and some entwined like
string wound into rope—stronger, thicker for being joined. Doyle knelt closest
to us, as if he’d tried to come to me. His sword was drawn as if there was
something among us that metal could slay. His dark skin was covered in lines of
blue and crimson. Rhys was just beyond him, covered in blue and red lines, too—and
there were other figures in the dark covered in green and blue lines, and
images of flowering plants. I caught a shine of long pale hair. Ivi was covered
in dead vines and green lines of power. Brii stood near a tree, hugging it, or
tied to it with green and blue lines. But it was as if the tree had bent toward
him, its thin, lifeless branches embracing his naked body like arms. Adair had
climbed a tree and stood on one of the thick upper branches. He was reaching up
into it, as if he saw things there that I did not. I caught glimpses of other
bodies on the ground, covered in dead vegetation. Frost and Nicca were kneeling farther away. They had lines of blue
only, snaking over their bodies. They were holding someone’s arms and legs. It
took me a moment to realize it was Galen. He was so covered in the bright green
glow that he was nearly hidden from sight. The others seemed to be enjoying the
power, or at least not to be in pain, but Galen’s body seemed to be convulsing,
almost as I had when Abeloec brought me, but even more violently. Mistral’s face appeared above mine, and I realized that he was
holding himself above my body, much as Abeloec had earlier. But he didn’t kiss
me, as the other man had. He made sure that the only thing I could see was his
face. “My turn,” he said, and the look in his eyes was enough to make me
frightened. Not in fear of Mistral, but fear of what was happening. Something
powerful—and what would be the price? One thing I had learned early was that
all power comes with a price. “Mistral,” I said, but he was already moving down my body. The wind
was back, a thin, seeking wind that touched my body like invisible fingers. The
dead leaves rustled, and the vines seemed to sigh in the growing wind. I raised up enough to look down my body at Mistral. I called his
name again. He looked up at the sound of his name, but there was nothing in his
face that really heard me. This was his one chance in a thousand years to have
a woman. When we left the gardens, his opportunity would be gone. If I’d known the others were safe, then I wouldn’t even have tried
to argue with the look in his eyes. But I wasn’t sure they were. I wasn’t sure
any of us were. I didn’t like not knowing what was happening. He smoothed his hands along the inside of my thighs, gentle,
caressing, but that gentle movement spread my legs with him kneeling between
them. “What’s happening, Mistral?” “Are you afraid?” he asked, but he wasn’t looking at my face when
he said it. “Yes,” I said, and my voice was soft in the growing wind. “Good,” he said. Abeloec answered me, “I am the intoxicating cup like Medb for the
kings of old. You have drunk deep.” I turned my head back to look at him where
he knelt behind me. I knew that medb had been a word for “mead,” a sovereign
goddess whom nine kings of Ireland had had to mate with before she would let
them rule. But most of that was only stories; no one would speak of her among
the sidhe, as if she were a real goddess, a real person. I had asked, and been told
only that she was the cup that intoxicates. Which had been another way of
saying that she was mead. I’d been left to believe she’d never been real. “I don’t understand,” I said. Abeloec smoothed his hand along my face. “I give the power of
sovereignty to the queen, as Medb gave power to the kings. I was forgotten,
because the world turned to chauvinism and there were no more votes for queens.
I was just Accasbel. Denied my purpose. Some human literature says I am an
ancient deity of wine and beer. I founded the first pub in Ireland, and was a follower of Partholon. That is all I am now to history.” He leaned in
close to my face, and I lay back against the ground with his hands on either
side of my face. “Until today. I have new duties.” Just then, Mistral’s fingers found my opening, and I would have
turned to look at him, but Abeloec’s hands tightened on my face, kept me
looking at him while Mistral began to explore me with his hand. Abeloec
whispered, above my face, “There was a time when without me, or Medb, no one
ruled in Ireland, or faerie, or anywhere in the isles. The sithen brought us
here for a reason. It brought everyone here for a reason, including Mistral.” Dried leaves rushed across my body like brittle fingers tapping my
stomach and breasts. “Let us have our reason back, Meredith,” Abeloec said. It wasn’t a finger touching me down there anymore, though Mistral
hadn’t entered me. For someone who liked to cause pain, he was being patient,
and gentle. I whispered, “Reason, what reason?” to Abeloec’s face. “Reason to be, Meredith. A man without a duty is only half a man.” Mistral shoved himself inside me in one long hard movement. It
spilled my upper body up off the ground, tore a scream from my mouth. Abeloec
released me, and I could finally stare down my body at Mistral. Mistral’s head was flung back, eyes closed. His body was married
into mine as deep as he could make it. There were no lines of color on him
anymore and I realized there were none on any of the three of us. But there was
something in the shining of his skin. It took me a moment to realize that
something was moving inside his skin. It looked like a reflection of
something, but it was not a reflection of anything around us. He stayed there, frozen above me, with his lower body as snug to me
as he could get it, and his upper body raised back on his hands and arms. He
opened his eyes and looked down at me, and I saw clouds glide inside his eyes
like windows onto some distant sky. The clouds moved as if hurried by some
great wind, and I realized that that was what I was seeing inside his skin.
Clouds, storm clouds roiling inside his skin. The wind was growing, spilling my hair across my face, sending dead
leaves in small whirlwinds. A storm was coming, and I was watching it grow
inside Mistral’s body. Mistral was the master of the winds, master of the sky,
a storm god once upon a time. The first lightning flash showed in his eyes. Once upon a time wasn’t as long ago as it used to be. MISTRAL DREW OUT OF ME WITH A SIGHING SHUDDER
THAT RAN down the length of his body. Seeing him affected to that degree
made my breath short and fast. At first I thought he had rain in his eyes to
match the lightning; then he blinked, and I realized it was tears. If we had been alone I would have questioned it, talked about it,
but with this many other men around us, I could not. I could not point out that
he was crying in front of them, nor could I ask him why and hope to get a
truthful answer. But it meant a great deal to me that Mistral, master of
storms, cried after he tasted my body. Abeloec said, softly, “It’s been too long.” Mistral looked at him, and he simply nodded with the shine of those
few hard tears gliding down his cheeks. He looked down at me, and there was a
gentleness on his face, a raw pain in his eyes. He kissed me, and this time it
was gentle. “I have forgotten my manners, Princess, forgive me.” “You can kiss me with force, just don’t choke me.” He gave a small smile, and an even smaller nod. Then he laid his
body carefully along the length of mine so that his testicles pressed against
my groin, and the hard length of him touched me from groin to my upper stomach.
He let his weight settle on top of me with a sigh, then wrapped his arms around
me. He put his face to one side of mine, and it was as if he let some great
tension fall away from him. It was almost as if he grew lighter at the same
time that his actual weight became heavier. I laid a soft kiss against the
curve of his ear, because it was the spot I could reach. He shuddered against me again, but because he was pressed so hard
against the front of my body it made me shudder, too. The wind trailed his hair
and mine across my face, mingling the red and grey strands together, almost in
the way the neon glow of power had wound itself together. Stronger together
than apart. The clouds in his eyes spun so fast across them that it was almost
dizzying to watch. He unwound his arms from me and raised up enough to see my face. “I
don’t want to kiss down the front of your body. I want to bite my way down it.” I had to swallow hard before I could answer, in a breathy voice,
“No blood, no permanent marks, and nothing as hard as what you did to my
breast. You haven’t done enough prep work for that.” “Prep work?” He made it a question. Abeloec said, “Foreplay.” He had been kneeling above my head, so
still that I had forgotten he was there. We both looked at him. “Give us a little more room,” Mistral asked.
“I am the only one inside this circle with you, and I must remain.” Circle, I thought, then I realized that he was right. The
lines of blue, green, and red encircled the three of us. Everyone else was
covered in them, but they formed a barrier around the three of us. It was a
barrier that the wind could cross at will, but there would be other things that
could not cross it. I wasn’t sure what those other things would be, but I knew
enough of magical circles to know that they were meant to keep some things in,
and some things out. It was their nature, and tonight was all about the nature
of things. I ran my hands up Mistral’s back, tracing the line of his spine,
playing along the muscles that held him just above me. He closed his eyes and
swallowed before he looked down at me. “You wanted something?” “You,” I said. That earned me a smile. A real smile, not about sex, or pain, or
sorrow, just a smile. I valued that smile the way I valued Frost’s smile, and
Doyle’s. They had all come to me without a real smile, as if they had forgotten
how to do it. By the standards that the other two men had set, Mistral was a
fast learner. I moved one hand around so I could trace his lower lip with my
finger. “Do what you wanted to do. Just remember the rules.” His smile held an edge of something that wasn’t happy now, and I
wasn’t sure if the parameters that I’d put on him were actually that taxing, or
if I’d reminded him of something sad. “No blood, no permanent marks, nothing as
hard as what I did on your breast, because I have not done enough foreplay for
that, yet.” It was almost word for word what I’d said to him. “Good memory.” “Memory is all I have.” As he said it, that raw pain was back in
his eyes. I thought I understood now. He was enjoying himself, and determined
to enjoy himself, but when he was finished, there would be no more. The queen
would put him back in the lonely cell of her rules, her jealousy, her sadism.
Would it be worse to have had this moment and then be denied again? Would it
cause him pain to watch me with my men, and not be a part of it? It wasn’t that
I was so special to him, or to them. It was simply that I was the only woman
with whom the guards could break their long celibacy. I raised myself off the ground and kissed him. “I am yours.” He kissed me, gently at first, then harder. His tongue thrust
between my lips. I opened my mouth and let him explore my mouth. He thrust deep
inside, then backed off a little, enough so that it was just a good deep kiss.
The feel of his mouth drew my mouth closer to his, made my body rise up to
press tighter against him, sent my arms across his back, pressed my breasts
firm against his chest. He made a small sound low in his throat, and the wind suddenly felt
cool against my skin. He drew his mouth from mine, and the expression in his
eyes was wild. Storm clouds rode in his eyes, but they had slowed, so that it
was no longer dizzying. If I hadn’t known what I was looking at, I might simply
have thought his eyes were the grey of rain clouds. He laid his face in the curve of my neck. He didn’t so much kiss me
as lay his lips against my skin. His breath went out in a heavy sigh that
spread warmth across my skin. It made me shiver, and that was it. He set his
teeth in the side of my neck, and bit me. It made me cry out and tense my
fingers along his back, to trail an edge of nail across his skin. He bit my shoulder, quick and hard. I cried out for him, and he
moved again. I don’t think he trusted himself to hold my flesh in his mouth for
very long. I knew he wanted to bite down harder, and I could feel the effort
required to fight that urge in his lips, his hands, his entire body. He was
enjoying himself, but he was struggling to keep his impulses in check. He put his mouth into the side of the breast he had not marked and
barely laid teeth. I grabbed the side of his face, not hard, but it stopped
him. He lifted his gaze to mine, his mouth half opened, and I watched his
expression fall. I think he expected me to tell him to stop. Even if that had
been what I meant to do, I wouldn’t have had the heart to say it. But
regardless, it hadn’t. “Harder,” I said instead. He gave me a wolfish grin, and again I got that glimpse of
something in him that would have made me hesitate to be alone with him. But I
was no longer certain if that was truly Mistral’s nature, or whether centuries
of denial had made him wild with need. He set his teeth into my side and bit down hard, hard enough that I
writhed under him. He moved just a little farther down my side, to my waist,
and this time when I felt him begin to let go, I said, “Harder.” He bit me deeper this time, bit me until I felt his teeth almost
meet in my skin. I cried out and said, “Enough, enough.” He lifted his face as if to stop completely. I smiled at him. “I
didn’t say stop, I just meant that was hard enough.” He moved to the other side of my body and bit me again without
urging, hard enough that I had to tell him, almost immediately, not to go
farther. He looked up at me, and whatever he saw on my face satisfied him,
because he bit next to my belly button, setting his teeth so hard and fast that
I had to tell him to stop. He’d left a press of red teeth marks on my stomach. There were red
marks here and there on my body, but nothing as perfect as that. A perfect set
of his teeth marks in the white flesh of my body. Looking at it made me shiver. “You like it,” he whispered. “Yes,” I said. The wind held an edge of dampness as it trailed across my skin. He
licked low on my stomach, and the wind seemed to blow across that wet line,
almost as if the wind had a mouth, too, and could blow where it wished. Mistral pressed his mouth where he had licked, and bit me. Hard and
sharp, enough to make me startle, and raise my upper body off the ground.
“Enough,” I said, and my voice was almost a yell. The wind began to pick up, blowing more dead leaves across my body.
Streaming my hair across my face, so that for a moment I couldn’t see what
Mistral was doing. The wind was damp, as if it rode an edge of rain. But it
never rained in the dead gardens. I felt his mouth laid on the mound between my legs, resting on the
tight, curling hair. I couldn’t see, but I knew what he was doing. He bit me,
and I yelled, “Enough.” I used one hand to push my hair out of the way, so I could look
down my body and see him. He gave one quick flick of his tongue between my
legs. That one small touch sped my pulse and opened my mouth in a silent O. “You know what I want to do,” he said. He spoke with his hands
around my thighs, fingers digging in just a little, his face just above my
groin, so close that his breath touched me there. I nodded, because I didn’t trust my voice. On the one hand, I
didn’t want him to hurt me; on the other, I did want him to come just to that
edge of truly hurting me. I liked that edge. I liked it a lot. I finally found my voice, and it almost didn’t sound like me, so
breathy, so eager. “Go slow, and when I say enough, you stop.” He gave that smile again that filled his cloud-dazed eyes with a
fierce light, and I realized it wasn’t my imagination. Lightning played through
the heavy grey clouds of his eyes. It had gone away, but now it was back, and
it filled them with a flashing white, white light, so that his eyes looked
blind for a second. The wind slowed, and the air felt heavy, thick, and I felt
an edge of electricity in the air. He spread me wide, using his fingers, so strong, so thick. He
licked the length of me, back and forth until I writhed under his mouth and
hands. Only then did he press his mouth over me. Only then did he let me feel
the edge of his teeth around the most intimate parts of my body. He bit down slowly, so slowly, so carefully. I breathed out, “Harder.” He obeyed. He took as much of my flesh down there into his mouth as he could
fit, and bit me. Bit me so hard that it raised my upper body completely off the
ground, and I screamed for him. But I didn’t scream stop, or enough.
I just screamed, full-throated, spine bowing, staring down at him with wide
eyes and opened mouth. I orgasmed for him, from the feel of his teeth in my
most intimate flesh. I orgasmed for him, and even through the pleasure of it I
changed my scream to “Stop, stop, oh, God, stop!” Even through that most
overwhelming of pleasures, I could feel his teeth going just a little too far.
When something hurts in the middle of orgasm, you need to stop—things usually
only hurt when the afterglow begins to fade. Again I screamed, “Stop,” and he stopped. I fell back onto the ground, eyes unable to focus, fighting to
breathe, unable to move. But even while my body lay helpless with the
afterglow, I began to ache. I ached where his teeth had touched me there, and I
knew that it was just going to hurt more later. I’d let my desire—and
Mistral’s—send us too far over that fine edge. His voice came. “I did not bleed you, and I did not bite you as
hard there as I did on your breast.” I nodded, because I couldn’t speak yet. The air was so dense with
the coming storm that it made it harder to breathe, almost in the way the queen
could make the air too thick to breathe. “Are you hurt?” he asked. I found my voice. “A little.” The ache was becoming sharper. I had
only a limited time before it was simply going to hurt. I wanted him to finish
before the pleasure truly did become pain. He crawled over my body on all fours, so that he wasn’t actually
touching me, but he could see my face. “Are you all right, Princess?” I nodded. “Help me turn over.” “Why?” “Because if we finish this with you on top, it’s going to hurt too
much.” “I was too rough,” he said, and he sounded so sad. Lightning
flashed first in one eye then the other, as if it traveled from one side of his
mind to the other. The light blue lightning bolt on his cheek paled in the
brightness of it. He started to crawl off me as if he were going to stop. I grabbed
his arm. “Don’t stop, bright Goddess, don’t stop. Just help me roll over. If
you take me from behind, you won’t be brushing up against the part of me you
bruised.” “If I have hurt you so badly, we must stop.” My fingers tightened on his arm. “If I wanted to stop, I would say
so. Everyone else has been too afraid of hurting me, and even if you went too
far, I do like it. Mistral, I like it a great deal.” He gave an almost shy smile. “I did notice.” I smiled back at him. “Then let us finish what we started.” “If you are sure.” In the moment he said it, and meant it, I knew
that I would be safe alone with him. If he was willing to pass up some of the
first intercourse he’d been offered in centuries for fear of my being hurt,
then he had the discipline to control himself in private. Consort preserve us,
but he had more discipline than I would have had. How many men would have
turned down the finish, after a start like that? Not many, not many at all. “I am sure,” I said. He smiled again, and something moved above us. Something grey was
in motion near the high domed ceiling. Clouds—there was a tiny knot of clouds
up near the ceiling. I looked into Mistral’s face and said, “Fuck me, Mistral.” “Is that an order, my princess?” He smiled when he said it, but
there was an edge of something that wasn’t happy in his voice. “Only if you want it to be.” He looked down at me, then said, “I would rather do the ordering.” “Then do it,” I said. “Turn over,” he said. His voice did not have quite the firmness it
had had earlier, as if he wasn’t sure I would obey. I had recovered enough to roll over, though I was slow. He moved
back until he knelt by my feet. “I want you on your hands and knees.” I did what he asked, or ordered. It put me looking at Abeloec, who
still knelt, motionless, at the top of our makeshift blanket. I expected to see
lust, or something to let me know he was enjoying the show, but that wasn’t
what was in his face. His smile was gentle, peaceful. It didn’t match what we
were doing, at least not to me. Mistral’s hands stroked my ass, and I felt him rub against my
opening. The front of me was sore, but the rest of me was eager. “You’re wet,” Mistral said. “I know,” I said. “You really did enjoy it.” “Yes.” “You really do like it that rough.” “Sometimes,” I said. The tip of him rubbed around the edge, so
close, but not inside. “Now?” He made it a question. I lowered my upper body, so that my lower body lifted toward him,
pushing against the feel of him. Only his slight movement backward kept me from
taking him into my body. I made a small sound of protest. The wind held the
smell of rain, the press of silent thunder. The storm was coming, and I wanted
him inside me when it came. He laughed, that wonderful masculine sound. “I take that as a yes?” “Yes,” I said. I pressed my cheek into the brittle leaves, my face,
and hands, touching the dry ground. I had to close my eyes against the push of
dead leaves and plants. I pushed my ass up at him, and asked, wordlessly, that
he take me. I didn’t realize I was saying anything out loud, but I must have
been. For then I heard my own voice chanting, “Please, please, please,” over
and over, soft under my breath, my lips closer to the dead earth than to the
man I was begging. He pushed just the tip of himself inside me, and the wind changed
instantly. It felt almost hot. I could still smell rain, but there was also a
metallic smell. The scent of ozone, lightning. The air was hot and close, and I
knew in that moment that it wasn’t that I wanted Mistral inside me when the
storm broke, but that the storm would not come until he was inside me. He was
the storm, as Abeloec had been the cup. Mistral was the heavy press of the air,
and that neck-ruffling promise of lightning. I raised up and shoved my body onto him. He actually stopped me
with his hands on my hips. “No,” he said, “no, I will say when.” I went back to pressing my upper body to the dry ground. I said,
“Mistral, please, don’t you feel it? Don’t you feel it?” “Storm,” he said, and his voice seemed lower than it had been, a
growling roll, as if his voice held an echo of thunder in it. I raised up, but not to try to control him. I wanted to see him. I
wanted to see if there had been other changes besides the growl of thunder in
his voice. He still glowed with power, but it was as if dark grey clouds had
moved in over that glow, so that I saw only the shine of his power through the
veil of clouds. He stared down at me, and his eyes flashed bright, so bright that
for a moment his face was half obscured by that white, white light. The
brilliance faded, leaving afterimages in my vision. But without the lightning,
his eyes weren’t the grey of rain clouds; they were black. That blackness that
rolls across the sky at midday, and sends us all running for cover, because
just by looking at the sky, you know that something dangerous is coming.
Something that will drown you, burn you, concuss you with the power that is
about to fall from the sky. I shivered, gazing down my body at him, shivered, because I
wondered…was I too mortal to survive this? Was his power going to burn along my
flesh, and hurt me in ways that I did not want? It was as if Abeloec heard me thinking. He spoke, in a low, soft
voice that made me look at him. He was still kneeling in front of us, but it
was as if his pale skin were fading into the growing dark, as if he, himself,
were dissipating into the circle of power. His hair was shot through with lines
of blue, red, and green, and those lines traced the circle that held us, and on
into the dark to the men beyond. His eyes held sparks of all those colors, but
it was as if his power grew. He began to be that power, and not be as much Abeloec.
I could tell that if he were not careful, he would become only the lines of
power that traced out into the dark. “Earth and sky is a very old dance, Meredith,” he said. “Do not
fear the power. It has waited too long for you to allow you to be harmed now.” I found my voice in a hoarse whisper. “Look at him.” “Yes,” Abeloec said, “he is the storm come to life.” “I am mortal.” I thought he smiled, but I couldn’t be certain. I could not see his
face clearly, though I knew he was only a few feet in front of me. “In this time and place, you are the Goddess, the earth to meet the
strike of the sky. Does that sound like someone who is merely mortal?” Mistral chose that moment to remind me that he was there. He bent
over my body, and bit me on the back, as his body shoved inside me. The
combination of the two made me push myself tighter against him. He bit me
harder, and I writhed against him, trapped between his body and his mouth. His mouth let go, and he wrapped his arms around me. His weight lay
along the back of my body, in a warm, solid line. I was supporting most of his
weight, for his hands played lightly over my breasts and stomach. He was inside
me, but as he had done the first time, once he was in, he had stopped moving.
He spoke with his face next to mine. “It has been too long. I will not last if
you move like that.” I turned my head, and he was close enough that when the light
flashed in his eyes, I was blinded for a second. I closed my eyes and saw white
and black explosions against my eyelids. I spoke with my eyes still closed. “I
can’t help moving.” He sighed, and didn’t so much push himself farther inside me as
writhe while he was inside me. That made me writhe, and drew a sound from him
that was half pleasure, half protest. Thunder rolled through the cavern, echoing against the bare rock
walls, like some gigantic drumroll that seemed to thrum across my skin. “Hush, Meredith, quiet. If you move, I will not last.” “How can I not move with you inside me?” He hugged me then, and said, “So long since anyone reacted to my
body.” He moved off my back, so that he was again on his knees, still with his
body sheathed inside mine. But he pushed his hips against me and let me know
that, bent over my body, he had not been completely sheathed inside me, because
now the tip of him found the end of me, and I realized he might be too long for
this position. If the man was too long, entering from behind could hurt. It
didn’t hurt yet, but it held the promise of it as he pushed gently against the
inner limits of my body. The thought of what he could do to me was exciting,
and a little frightening. I both wanted to feel him pound himself into me, and
didn’t. The thought was exciting, but it was one of those pains that worked
better in fantasy than real life. He pushed the head of himself inside me, gentle at first, then more
firmly, as if he were trying to find a way deeper. He pushed slow, and firm,
and tight, until I made a sound of protest. Thunder rumbled again, and the wind gusted. I could smell rain and
ozone, as if lightning had struck somewhere near, though the only lightning had
been in Mistral’s eyes. “How much do you like pain?” he asked, and his voice held thunder
the way that Doyle’s could hold the growl of a dog. I thought I knew what he was asking, and I hesitated. How much do I
like pain? I decided honesty was safest. I gazed back over my body until I
could see him, and whatever words of caution I was about to utter died in my
throat. He was something elemental. His body still held an outline, a
solidness, but inside that solid line of skin were clouds, grey and black and
white, boiling and writhing. The lightning flashed in his eyes again, and this
time it rode down his body, a jagged line of brilliance that filled the world
with the metallic smell of ozone. But it didn’t affect my body like real
lightning would have. Instead it was just a brilliant dance of light. His eyes glowed in his face, lit by strike after strike of bright,
white light. About every third flash, the lightning shot down his body and
decorated his skin. His hair had come free of its ponytail, and that grey sheet
of hair danced in the wind of his power, like some soft grey blanket trapped on
a wash line as the storm thunders closer. As many times as I’d made love to warriors of the sidhe, to
creatures of faerie, the sight of him behind me still stole my words. I’d seen
many wonders, but nothing quite like Mistral. He asked again, “How much do you like pain?” But as he spoke, the
lightning flashed, the glow filling his mouth and pouring out with his words. I said the only thing I could think of: “Finish.” He smiled, and his lips held an edge of that glow. “Finish; just
finish?” I nodded. “Yes.” “Will you enjoy it?” “I don’t know.” His smile widened, and his eyes flashed, and that line of light sparkled
down his body. I was blind for a moment in the brilliance of it. He began to
draw himself out of me. “So be it,” he said in that deep, rolling voice.
Thunder echoed him along the roof, and for a moment it seemed as if the very
walls thrummed with him. He shoved himself inside me as fast and hard as he could, and he
was too long. I screamed, and it wasn’t all pleasure. I tried not to, but I
began to writhe, not closer, but farther away, crawling away from that hard,
sharp pain. He grabbed my hair, tight. Held me in place while he pounded
himself into me. I screamed, and this time, it held words. “Finish, Goddess, please
finish. Go, just go.” He jerked me up on my knees, using my hair like a lever to press
our bodies against each other. He was still buried in me, but the position was
better. It was a little less deep and didn’t hurt. He wrapped his other arm around the front of my body, and held me
tight against the front of his. He tightened the hand in my hair, drawing a
sound from me that wasn’t pain. He spoke with his mouth pressed against the side of my face. “I
know that I hurt you before, but already your body forgives me. So soon, and
you make pleasure noises for me.” He jerked my head back with his handful of my
hair. It did hurt, but I liked it anyway. I just did. “You like this,” he whispered against my face, and I felt wind
against my face. “Yes,” I said. “But not the other,” he said, and the wind buffeted us, hard enough
that we swayed for a moment. I rolled my eyes past him and found the ceiling
crawling with clouds. Clouds that could have been the twins of the ones moving
under his skin. He jerked my hair again, brought me back to his face. “I thought I
would come too soon, and now I am taking too long.” “You will not come until the storm does.” It was Abeloec’s voice,
but strangely not. Mistral loosened his hold on my hair, so we could both look at the
other man. What I saw was eyes that spun with crimson, emerald, and sapphire,
as if they were full of liquid jewels. His hair was flared out around him, but
not because the wind pulled it—more like the tail of a bird, or a cloak held
carefully out by some invisible hands. The lines of color glowed through that
hair, and went out into the dark like rope. The ropes of glowing color found
dark shapes outside our circle of power. All the men out there in the dead
gardens were covered in those lines. I tried to see if they were all right, but
the thunder rolled through us, and it was as if the world itself shook with it. Mistral shuddered around me, inside me, and that made me shudder.
He hugged me tight with both of his strong arms. Not hurting me for a moment,
not trying to. “If taking you from behind is too much, then what else is left?
I have hurt you in front, as well.” I leaned back against his body, letting myself rest against him
completely. “If you’re strong enough to keep yourself up off my body while we
fuck, you won’t brush the front of me.” “Off your body?” He sounded puzzled. “I will be facing up, you on top, but the only thing that touches
me is what is inside me now.” “If you are flat, I will not be able to get as much inside you.” “I’ll rise up to meet you.” Then I asked, “Are you?” “Am I what?” he asked, and the lightning in his eyes blinded me for
a moment. “Strong enough,” I said with my vision full of bright white spots. He laughed, then, and it was like a low rumble of thunder not just
in my ear, but along my body, as if the sound traveled through his very bones
and into mine. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I am strong enough.” “Prove it,” I said, and my voice was a whisper that was almost lost
in the sound of wind and thunder. He let me move off him and helped me to lie down on what was left
of our makeshift blanket. If we had been about to make love in standard
missionary position, then I would have been more concerned about the blanket.
But if we did this right, very little of me would be touching the ground. I lay back against the hard, dry ground for a moment, my knees
bent. Mistral hesitated, kneeling between them. Lightning flashed in his eyes,
danced down his body, so that it looked for a moment as if the jagged bolt went
from his eyes and out his leg into the ground. I heard a more distant crackle,
and saw the first lightning bolt dance in the clouds at the ceiling. The smell
of ozone came faint; the scent of close rain was stronger. “Mistral,” I said, “now—enter me now.” “I will brush against the front of your body,” he said. “It will
hurt.” “Enter me, and I’ll show you.” He lowered himself to me, keeping his arms locked and his body above
mine. He slid himself inside me, and before he was finished, I moved up to meet
him. I raised my upper body in a sort of sit-up, more like an abdominal
crunch. I couldn’t hold the position forever, but I could hold it a long time,
if I put my hands on either side of my thighs and held on. It held me
simultaneously in position and open wide. I watched him push himself inside me by the white moonlight glow of
my own skin, and the distant flash of lightning that he’d released into the
clouds above. It was almost as if now that the lighting was up there, there
wasn’t so very much inside him. He began to pump his body into mine. Just the long shaft of him in
and out of my body, while I held myself in a tight little ball, and he held the
rest of his body above mine. “I love watching your body move in and out of mine,” I said. He lowered his head so that his hair trailed over me, and he could
watch his own body work in and out of mine. “Yesss,” he breathed, “yesss.” He started to lose his rhythm and had to look away from the sight
of our bodies locked together. Soon he resumed his long sure strokes. Thunder
pounded the world, lightning crackled and smashed into the ground. The storm
was coming. He began to go faster, harder, smashing himself into me. But from this
position, it didn’t hurt. From this position, it felt wonderful. I could feel
the beginnings of my own pleasure growing inside me. “I’m going to come soon,”
I said, and it was almost a yell over the sound of wind and storm. “Not yet,” he said, “not yet.” I wasn’t sure if he was talking to
me or himself, but he suddenly seemed to give himself permission to fuck me as
hard as he wanted. He drove himself in and out of me with a force that rocked
my body, ground my ass into the leaves, and made me cry out with purest joy. Lightning began to rain down from the clouds. One white-hot bolt
after another, as if the clouds were screaming, and this was as fast as they
could throw lightning down upon us. The ground shuddered with the beating of
the lightning and the roll of the thunder. It was as if the lightning was
hitting the ground as often as Mistral’s body hit into mine. Over and over and
over again, he rammed inside me, and over and over and over again, the
lightning struck the earth. The world smelled metallic with ozone, and every
hair stood to attention with the electric dance of it. He brought me screaming, fingers digging into my own thighs,
holding my place, holding my place, while the orgasm shook me, took me, and my
body spasmed around his. My screams were lost in the violence of the storm, but
I heard Mistral cry out above me, a second before his body thrust inside mine
one last time. He came inside me, and the lightning struck the earth like a
huge white hand. I was blinded with white light. I dug my nails into my thighs to
remind myself where I was, and what I was doing. I wanted his release to be
everything he wished. But finally, I had to collapse to the ground, had to let
my legs unbend. I lay on the dry ground, panting, trying to relearn how to breathe. He collapsed on top of me, still inside my body. His heart was
beating so fast that it felt as if it would spill out his body and touch me.
Rain began to fall, gently. His first words were breathless. “Am I hurting you?” I tried to raise my arm to touch him, but still couldn’t move.
“Nothing hurts right now,” I said. He let out his breath in a long sigh. “Good.” His heart began to
slow as the rain fell harder. I turned my face to the side so the drops
wouldn’t be hitting me full on. I’d thought the weather inside the cavern would stop with Mistral’s
orgasm. But though the storm had ended, there was still a sky above us. A
cloudy, rainy sky. It had not rained underground in faerie for at least four
hundred years. We had a sky and rain, and we were still underground. It was
impossible, but the rain on my face was warm. A spring rain, something gentle,
to coax the flowers out. He raised himself up enough to pull himself out of my body and lie
by my side. I felt moisture on his face, and thought at first that it was rain.
Then I realized it was tears. Had the rain come because he cried, or did one
thing have nothing to do with the other? I did not know. I only knew that he
cried, and I held out my arms to him. He buried his face against my breasts, and wept. ABELOEC, MISTRAL, AND I GOT TO OUR FEET IN THE
SOFT SPRING rain. It took me a moment to realize that there was light
now. Not the colored shine of magic but a dim, pale light, as if there were a
moon somewhere up near the stone roof of the cavern. I couldn’t see the ceiling
anymore. It was lost in a soft mist of clouds where the stone had been. “Sky,” someone whispered, “there’s sky above us.” I turned to look at the other men who had been held outside the
glowing circle of Abeloec’s magic. I turned to find out who had spoken, but the
moment I saw the others, I didn’t care. I didn’t even care that it was raining,
or that there was sky, or some phantom moon. All I could think was that we were
missing people: a lot of people. Frost and Rhys were white shadows in the dimness, and Doyle a
darker presence by their side. “Doyle, where are the others?” It was Rhys who answered. “The garden took them.” “What does that mean?” I asked. I took a step toward them, but
Mistral held me back. “Until we find out what is happening, we cannot risk you,
Princess.” “He is right,” Doyle said. He walked toward us, gliding graceful
and nude, but there was something in the way he moved that said the fight
wasn’t over. He moved as if he expected the ground itself to open up and
attack. Just watching him move like that scared me. Something was horribly
wrong. “Stay with Mistral and Abe. Frost with Merry. Rhys with me.” I thought someone would argue with him, but they didn’t. They
followed him as they had followed him for a thousand years. My pulse was
thudding in my throat, and I didn’t understand what was happening, but I was
almost certain in that moment that the men would never obey me as they obeyed
him. I understood, as he stalked over the softening ground—with Rhys like a
small, pale shadow at his side—why my aunt Andais had never made love to Doyle.
Never given him a chance to fill her belly with child. She did not share power,
and Doyle was a man whom other men followed. He had the stuff of kings in him.
I had known that, but I hadn’t been certain until this second that the other
men knew it, too. Maybe not in the front of their heads, but in the very bones
of their bodies, they understood what he was, what he could be. He and Rhys moved toward a fringe of tall trees, their branches
stark and dead against the soft, rainy twilight. Doyle was looking up into the
trees, as if he saw something in the empty branches. “What is that?” Mistral asked. “I don’t see…,” Abe began; then I heard his breath draw in sharp. “What, what is it?” I asked. “Aisling, I think,” Frost whispered. I glanced at Frost. I could remember some of the other men who had
been touching the trees. Adair, for example, had climbed a tree. I remembered
seeing him up in the branches in the middle of all the sex and magic. But I
didn’t remember seeing Aisling after the magic hit us. “I saw Adair climbing a tree, but I don’t remember Aisling,” I
said. “He vanished once we entered the garden,” Frost said. “I thought he had been left behind in the room with Barinthus and
the others,” I said. “No, he was not left behind,” Mistral said. “I can’t see what Doyle is looking at.” “You may not wish to,” Abe said. “I know I don’t.” “Don’t treat me like a child. What do you see? What’s happened to
Aisling?” I pulled away from Mistral. But he and Abe were still between me and
the line of trees. “Move aside,” I said. They glanced at each other, but didn’t move. They would not obey me
as they obeyed Doyle. “I am Princess Meredith NicEssus, wielder of the hand of flesh and
blood. You are royal guards, but not royal. Don’t let the sex go to your heads,
gentlemen—move!” “Do as she says,” Frost said. They glanced at each other, but then parted so I could see. Unlike
Frost, Doyle would have known not to help me, because now they weren’t obeying
me. They were obeying Frost. But that was a problem for another night. This
night, this night, I wanted to see what everyone else had already seen. There was a pale shape hanging from the tallest branch of the
tallest tree. I thought at first that Aisling was hanging by his hands,
dangling from the branch on purpose; then I realized that his hands were by his
sides. He was dangling from the branch, yes, but not by his hands. The rain
started to fall harder. “The branch…,” I whispered, “it’s pierced his chest.” “Yes,” Mistral said. I swallowed hard enough that it hurt. There weren’t many things
that could bring death to the high court of faerie. There were tales of the
immortal sidhe standing up after a beheading, still alive. But there were no stories
about living on after your heart was gone. Some of the other guards hadn’t wanted Aisling to sleep in the
bedroom with us, feeling he was too dangerous. To look upon his face had once
been to fall instantly, hopelessly in love with him. Even goddesses and some
gods had fallen to his power, once, or so the old stories said. So he had
voluntarily kept most of his clothes on, including the gauzy veil that he wore
wrapped around his face. Only his eyes were left bare. He was a man so beautiful that all who saw him, loved him. I had
ordered him to use that power on one of our enemies. She had tried to kill
Galen, and almost succeeded. But I hadn’t understood what I asked of him, or
what I condemned her to see. She had given us information, but she had also clawed
out her own eyes so she would no longer be under his power. He had been afraid to even take off his shirt in front of me, for
fear that I was too mortal to look upon his flesh, let alone his face. I hadn’t
been bespelled, but staring at the pale form, hanging lifeless, lost to
twilight and rain, I remembered him. I remembered his skin, golden, golden as
if someone had shaken gold dust across his pale, perfect body. He had sparkled
in the light, not just with magic, but the way a jewel catches the light. He
had glittered with the beauty of what he was. Now he hung in the rain, dead or
dying. And I had no idea why. THE GROUND WAS SOFT UNDER OUR FEET AS WE
WALKED toward Aisling’s body. The sharp, dry vegetation had melted into
the softening earth. Much more of this downpour and it would be mud. I had to
shield my eyes with my hand to gaze up at the body in the tree. Body, just a body. I was already distancing myself from him.
Already I was making that mental switch that had allowed me to work murder
cases in Los Angeles. Body, it, not he, and absolutely not
Aisling. The it hung there, with a black branch thicker than my arm
sticking out through the chest. There had to be two feet worth of branch on
this side of the body. Such force it would have taken to pierce the chest of
any man like that, a warrior of the Unseelie Court. A nearly immortal being,
once worshipped as a god. Such beings do not die easily. He hadn’t even cried
out…or had he? Had he cried his death on the air, and I been deaf to it? Had my
screams of pleasure drowned out his cries of despair? No, no, I had to stop thinking like that, or I would run screaming. “Is he…,” Abe began. None of the men answered him or finished his sentence. We all
stared up, wordless, as if by not saying it, we’d keep it from being true. He
hung so limp, like a broken puppet, but thick, and meaty, and more real than
any doll. He was utterly still and limp in that heavy-limbed way that not even
the deepest sleep can duplicate. I spoke into that rain-soaked silence. “Dead.” And that one word
seemed louder than it actually was. “How? Why?” Abe asked. “The how is pretty apparent,” Rhys said. “The why is a mystery.” I looked away from what hung in the tree, out into the twilight of
the gardens. I wasn’t looking away from Aisling, but rather looking for the
others. I tried to ignore the tightness of my throat, the speeding of my pulse.
I tried not to finish the thought that had made me turn and search the dimness.
Were there other men dead, or dying, in the dimness? Who else was pierced
through by some magical tree? There was nothing to see but the dead branches stretching naked
toward the clouds—none of the other trees held a gruesome trophy. The tightness
in my chest eased when I was sure that all the trees were empty except this
one. I barely knew Aisling. He had never been my lover, and had only
been one of my guards for a day. I was sorry for the loss of him, but there
were others among my guards that I cared about more, and they were still
missing. I was happy they weren’t decorating the trees, but that left me
wondering what else might have become of them. Where were they? Doyle spoke so close to me that I jumped. “I do not see any of the
others in the trees.” I shook my head. “No, no.” I looked for Frost. He stood close, but
not close enough to hold me. I wanted to be comforted by one of them, but it
was a child’s wish. A child’s wish for lies in the dark, that the monster isn’t
under the bed. I had grown up in a world where the monsters were very real. “You were holding Galen, and Nicca was with you,” I said. “What
happened to them?” Frost brushed his sodden hair from his face, the silver looking as
grey as Mistral’s in the dim light. “Galen was swallowed up by the ground.” His
eyes showed pain. “I could not hold on to him. It was as if some great force
wrenched him away.” I was suddenly cold, and the warm rain wasn’t enough to keep it at
bay. I said, “When Amatheon did the same thing in my vision, he went willingly.
He just sank into the mud. There was no wrenching force.” “I can only report what happened, Princess.” His voice had gone
sullen. If he thought I’d criticized him, then so be it; I didn’t have time to
hold his hand. “That was vision,” Mistral said. “Sometimes on this side of the
veil, it’s not so gentle.” “What’s not so gentle?” I asked. “Being consumed by your power,” he said. I shook my head, wiping impatiently at the rain on my face. I was
beginning to be irritated. The miracle of it raining in the dead gardens wasn’t
enough to calm the cold fear. “I wish this rain would let up,” I said without
thinking. Angry and afraid, and the rain was something I could be angry at
without hurting its feelings. The rain slackened. It went from a downpour to a light drizzle. My
pulse was in my throat again, but not for the same reason. It was a miracle
that there was rain here, and I hadn’t meant to make it go away. Doyle touched my mouth with a callused fingertip. “Hush,
Meredith—do not destroy the blessing of this rain.” I nodded to let him know I understood. He took his finger away,
slowly. “I forgot that the sithen listens to everything I say.” I swallowed
hard enough that it hurt. “I don’t want the rain to stop.” We stood there, everyone tense, waiting. Yes, Aisling was dead, and
many more missing, but the dead gardens had been the heart of our faerie mound
once, and were more important than any one life. They had been the heart of our
power. When this place had died, our power had begun to die. I saw with relief that the warm spring drizzle kept falling. Slowly,
we all let out a breath. “Be careful what you say, Princess,” Mistral
whispered. I just nodded. “Nicca stood up, staring at his hands,” Frost said, as if I’d
asked. “He reached out to me, but before I could touch him he vanished.” “Vanished how?” Abe asked. “Just vanished, as if he became air.” “He was taken by his sphere of influence,” Mistral said. “What does that mean?” I asked. “Air, earth.” I shook my hands at him, as if waving away smoke between us. “I
don’t understand.” “Hawthorne was engulfed by the trunk of that tree over there,” Rhys
said. He pointed to a large greyish-barked tree. “He didn’t fight it. He went
smiling. I’d bet almost anything that if we could identity it, it would be a
hawthorn tree.” “Galen and Nicca did not go smiling,” Frost said. “They have never been worshipped as deities,” Doyle said, “so they
do not know to relax into the power. If you fight it, it will fight back. If
you let it take you, then it is more gentle.” “I know that once upon a time, some of the sidhe could travel
through ground, trees, the air. But forgive me, guys, that was a thousand years
before I was born. A thousand years before Galen was born. Nicca is older, but
he was always too weak to be a god.” “That may have changed,” Abe said. “Just as Abe’s power returned,” Doyle said. Abe nodded. “Once, so long ago that I don’t want to remember, I
didn’t just make queens. I made goddesses.” “What are you saying?” I asked. He brought the horn cup in front of him. “The Greeks believed in
it, too, Princess. That the drink of the gods could make you immortal; could
make you a god.” “But they didn’t drink from it.” “The drinking is—” He seemed to search for a word. “—more
metaphorical, at times. It was my power, and Medb’s, that gave the gods and
goddesses of our pantheon their marks of power. The colored lines, Princess,
they paint the skin.” Rhys looked down at his arm, where there had been that one faint
fish. Now there were two, one swimming down, another swimming upward. It formed
a circle, like a fish version of yin and yang. The blue lines weren’t faint
now—they were bright, clear blue, deeper than a summer sky. Rhys’s curls had
been plastered flat by the rain, so the face he turned to us seemed startled
and unfinished. “You bear both marks now,” Doyle said. With his hair in a tight
braid, he looked as he always looked. He stood in the middle of all the
disarray like some dark rock I might cling to. Rhys looked up at him. “It can’t be that easy.” “Try,” he said. “Try what?” I asked. The men were all exchanging some knowledge from look to look. I
didn’t understand. “Rhys was a deity of death,” Frost said. “I know that; he was Cromm Cruach.” “Don’t you remember the story he told you?” Doyle asked. In that moment I couldn’t remember. All I could think was that
Galen and Nicca might be dead, or hurting, and it was somehow my fault. “Once I brought more than just death, Merry,” Rhys said, still
gazing down at his arm with its new mark. My mind started working finally. “Celtic death deities are also
healing deities, according to legend,” I said. “According to legend,” Rhys said. He gazed up at Aisling. “Try,” Doyle said to Rhys, again. I looked at Rhys. “Are you saying you can bring him back from the
dead?” “The last time I had both symbols on my arm, I could.” He looked at
me, and there was such pain on his face. I remembered what he had told me now.
Once his followers had worshipped him by cutting and hurting themselves,
sacrificing their blood and pain, but he had been able to heal them. Then he
lost the ability to heal, and his followers thought he was displeased. They
decided he wanted the deaths of others, and they began the sacrifices. He had
slaughtered them all to stop the atrocities. Slain his own people to save the
rest. He had never lost the ability to kill small creatures with a touch.
In Los Angeles he’d recovered the ability to kill other faerie creatures with a
touch and a word. He’d killed a goblin that way, at least. Rhys gazed up at Aisling’s still form. “I’ll try.” He handed his
weapons to Doyle and Frost, then touched the tree. He seemed to wait a moment,
to see what the tree would do. For the first time I realized that he was
wondering if the tree would kill him, too—that hadn’t occurred to me. “Is it safe for Rhys to do this?” I asked. Rhys looked back at me. He grinned. “If I were taller, I wouldn’t
have to climb.” “I mean it, Rhys. I don’t want to trade you for Aisling. And I
really don’t want two of you hanging up there.” “If I really thought you loved me, I might not chance it.” “Rhys…” “It’s all right, Merry, I know where I stand.” He turned to the
tree and started climbing. Doyle touched my shoulder. “You cannot love us all equally. There
is no dishonor in that.” I nodded, and believed him, but it still hurt my heart. Rhys looked like some white phantom against the blackness of the
tree. He was right underneath where Aisling hung. He was just about to reach
out toward him when magic crawled across my skin, stopped my breath in my
throat. Doyle felt it, too, and yelled, “Wait! Don’t touch him!” Rhys started climbing back down the tree, sliding on the
rain-slicked bark. “Rhys! Hurry!” I screamed. The air around Aisling’s body shimmered, like a heat haze, then
exploded. Not in a rain of flesh and blood and bone, but in a cloud of birds.
Tiny birds, smaller, more delicate than sparrows. Dozens of songbirds flew over
our heads. We all fell to the ground, guarding our heads. Frost put his body
over mine, protecting me from the fluttering, twittering mob. The birds looked
charming, but looks can be deceiving. When Frost raised up enough for me to see clearly again, the birds
had vanished into the dimness of the trees. I stretched upward, trying to see.
“Is the cavern wall farther away than it was?” I asked. “Yes,” Doyle said. “The forest stretches for miles now,” Mistral said, and his voice
held awe. “They call it the dead gardens, not the dead forest,” I said. “It was both once,” Doyle said, softly. Rhys explained, “This was a world at one time, Merry, a whole
underground world. There were forests and streams, and lakes, and wonders to
behold. But it whittled down, as our power was whittled away. Until, at the
end, it was just what you saw when we entered—a bare patch where a flower
garden once grew, surrounded by a fringe of dead trees.” He motioned toward the
spreading trees. “The last time I saw anything like this inside any faerie
mound was centuries ago.” Abe hugged me from behind. It startled me, and I tensed. He started
to pull away from me, but I patted his arm and said, “You startled me, that’s
all.” He hesitated, then hugged me close. “You’ve done this, Princess.” I turned enough to see his face. He was smiling. “I think you
helped, too,” I said. “And Mistral,” Doyle added. His deep voice tried for neutral and
almost made it, as much as it hurt him to say those words. He’d been convinced
that the queen’s ring, which now sat on my hand, had chosen Mistral for my
king. Only later had I been able to convince him it wasn’t so much Mistral as
the fact that he was simply the first sex I’d had inside faerie while wearing
the ring. Doyle had accepted that, but now he seemed to be wondering again. “Doyle,” I said. He shook his head at me. “For miracles such as this, what is one
person’s happiness, Princess?” I’d almost broken him of calling me princess. I had finally been
Meredith, or Merry, to him, but no longer, apparently. I touched his arm. He
pulled away from my touch, gently but firmly. “You give up too easily, my friend,” Frost said. “There is sky above us, Frost.” Doyle motioned outward with the gun
in his hand. “There is forest to walk through.” He raised his face upward, and
let the warm rain fall on his closed eyes. “It rains inside the sithen once
more.” Doyle opened his eyes and looked at Frost, grabbing his arm, dark
against light. “How clear do you need your messages to be, Frost? It seems that
Mistral did this.” “I will not give up my hope, Darkness. I will not lose it, when it
is so freshly won. You should not, either.” “I’ve missed something,” Rhys said. Doyle shook his head. “You have missed nothing.” “Now, that’s too close to a lie, and we never lie,” said Rhys. “I will not discuss this with you, here,” Doyle said. He looked
past Rhys to Mistral’s tall figure. It was a small look, but enough to tell me
of his jealousy. “Look to your own power, Darkness,” Abe said. “Enough,” said Doyle. “We must tell the queen what has happened.” “Look at your chest, Darkness,” Abe said. Doyle frowned at him, then looked down. My gaze followed his. It
was hard to see against the black of his skin, and in the uncertain light,
but…“There are lines on your skin, red lines.” I moved closer, trying to
decipher what Abe’s power had drawn on Doyle’s skin. I started to reach out, to trace the lines on his chest. Doyle
moved out of reach. “I cannot bear much more, Princess.” “Your body is painted with your symbol again,” Abe said. “It is not
just Mistral who is returning.” “But it is he who is returning faerie to itself,” Doyle
said. “And I was ready to stand in the way of it, for my heart would not let me
lose this fight. But that was before this wonder of the dead gardens come back
to life, and my sign of power returning. I have served this court century after
century as we lost all that we were. How could I do less than serve the court
as we begin to win back what was lost? Either my oath to serve means something,
or it never meant anything at all. Either I can do this for the good of our
people, or I have never been the Queen’s Darkness. I either do this, or I am
nothing, do you not see that?” Abe went to him, touched his arm. “I hear you, so honorable
Darkness, but I tell you that this power is a generous thing. Goddess is a
generous Goddess. God is a generous God. They do not give with one hand and
take with the other. They are not so cruel.” “I have found their service most cruel.” “Nay, you have found Andais’s service cruel,” Abe said, voice soft. A bird twittered out in the twilight woods—a sound of settling in
for the night, sleepy and questioning. A voice came out of the dimness: “I thought you a drunken fool,
Abeloec, but now I realize that it wasn’t the drink making you so. It’s simply
your natural state.” We all whirled toward the voice. Queen Andais stepped from the far
wall, where she had emerged earlier. We had been more than careless not to
realize she might come back. Abe dropped to one knee in the mud. “I meant no offense, my queen.” “Yes, you did.” She walked only a little way toward us, then
stopped, grimacing. “I am happy to see the rain and clouds, but the mud, I
could have done without.” “We are sorry that you are displeased, my queen,” Mistral said. “The apology would sound better if you were on your knees,” she
said. Mistral dropped to his knees in the mud beside Abe. Their hair was
too long, wet and heavy; it trailed into the mud. I didn’t like seeing them
like that. It made me afraid for them. She waded through the now ankle-deep mud until she could have
touched them, but she walked past. Instead, she reached out to trace her
fingers across Doyle’s chest. “Puppy dogs,” she said, smiling. Doyle stood impassive under the caress of her hand, though Andais
had made a torture of caresses. She would tease and torment, then deny them
release. She’d made a game of it for centuries. She touched Frost’s arm. “Your tree is dark against your skin now.”
She moved to Rhys, touching the dual fish. She moved to me, and I fought not to
cringe away from her. She put her hand on my stomach where the exact imprint of
a moth stood, like the world’s most perfect tattoo. “A few hours ago this moth
fluttered, struggling to escape your skin.” I looked down at where she touched, hoping she wouldn’t go lower.
She didn’t like me, but she might touch my intimate parts because she knew I
loathed her. Sex and hatred always mixed well for my aunt. “My guards told me that it would become like a tattoo.” “Did they tell you what it was?” “A mark of power.” She shook her head. “The others have the outline of a creature, or
an image, but your moth looks real. It is more like a photograph imprinted on
your skin. That is not something that Abeloec’s magic can give you. This”—she
pressed hard against my stomach—“means you can mark others. It means that those
you mark are lesser powers flocking to the warmth of your fire.” She curled her
arm around my waist, and pressed my body against the black robe of hers. She
whispered against my ear, “The men don’t like this, no, they don’t. They don’t
like me touching you, not one…” she licked the edge of my ear, “little…” she
licked down the curve of my neck, “bit.” She bit me, hard and sudden, not to
draw blood, but to make me jerk. She drew her head up and said quietly, “I thought you liked pain,
Meredith.” “Not straight out of the box, no.” “That’s not what I heard.” She let me go and walked around the
group of us. “Where are all the other men who vanished from the bedroom with
you?” “The garden has taken them,” Doyle said. “Taken them, how?” “Taken them into tree and flower and ground,” he said, not meeting
her eyes. “As Amatheon rose from the dirt, will they return to us, or was
their death the price for this miracle?” She whispered it, but her voice seemed
to echo. “We don’t know,” Doyle said. A bird began to sing again. A high, trilling cascade of music fell
from the sky, dancing over us. And as if sound could be touch, it wrapped us
around in something beautiful, something just out of sight. It seemed a
reminder that the dawn would come and death would not be forever. It was the
sound of hope that comes each spring to let you know that winter will not last,
and the land is not dead. I could not help but smile. Mistral and Abe raised their faces
upward, as if turning gratefully into a spill of warm sunshine. Andais began to back away as the last sweet note fell upon the air.
She backed toward the part of the wall that still held darkness, as if the
magic’s return could not touch it. “You will make of the Unseelie Court a pale
imitation of the golden court that your uncle rules, Meredith. You will fill
the darkness that is our purpose with light and music, and we will die as a
people.” “Once there were many courts,” Abeloec said, “some dark, some
light, but all faerie. We did not divide ourselves into good and bad as the
Christians do for their religion. We were everything at once, as we were meant
to be.” Andais did not bother to respond. Instead she simply said, “You
have brought life to the dead gardens. I will not try to pixie on my promise.
Come to the Hallway of Mortality and save Nerys’s people if you can. Bring that
bright Seelie magic into the other heart of the Unseelie Court and see how long
it survives.” With that she was gone. We waited for a few heartbeats; then Mistral and Abe stood, mud
coating their lower legs. No voice from the dark told them to get back on their
knees. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “What did she mean when she said that our court has two hearts?” I
asked. Abe answered, “Once every faerie mound had a garden or forest or
lake at its heart. But every court also had another heart of power—one that
would reflect the kind of magic the court specialized in.” “You have brought one heart back to life,” Mistral said, “but I am
not certain it is wise to reawaken the other.” “The hallway is a torture chamber, where most magic does not work.
It’s a null place,” I said. “But once, Meredith, it was more.” I looked at the men. “More how?” “Things that were older than faerie, older than us, were imprisoned
there. Remnants of power from the peoples we had defeated.” “I’m not sure I understand, Mistral.” He looked at Doyle. “Help me explain this.” “Once there were creatures in the Hallway of Mortality that could
bring true death to even the sidhe. They were kept there to serve as methods of
execution, or torture, or simply the threat of those things. The queen did not
care for them because, as you well know, she likes to do her own torturing.
Watching some other being tear us limb from limb was not half so amusing to her
as doing it herself.” “And we healed better if she did it,” Rhys said. Doyle nodded. “Yes, she could torture us longer and more often if
the things did not help.” “What kind of things?” I asked. I didn’t like how serious they’d
gotten. “Terrible things. A glimpse of them would drive a mortal mad,” he
said. “How long ago did these things vanish from the sithen?” “A thousand years, maybe more,” he said. “The forests haven’t been gone so long as that,” I said. “No, not quite that long.” “Why are you all so worried?” “Because if you, or the Goddess’s power through you, can bring this
about,” Abe said, motioning at the ever-expanding forest, “then we must prepare
for the fact that the second heart of our court can come back to full life, as
well.” “Perhaps Merry is too Seelie to bring back such horrors?” Mistral
said, almost hopefully. “Her two hands of power are flesh and blood,” Doyle said. “Those
are not Seelie magicks.” “I came to the princess for aid for Nerys’s people, but I would not
risk her now, not for a house full of traitors,” said Mistral. “If we save them, they won’t be traitors,” I said. “They still believe that your mortality is contagious,” Rhys said.
“They still think that if you sit on the throne, we will all begin to age and
die.” “Do you think that Nerys’s court still has enough honor to realize
that I’m trying to ensure that their rulers’ sacrifice wasn’t for nothing?
Nerys gave her life so her house would not die, and I want that to mean
something.” The men seemed to think about it for a moment. Finally Doyle said,
“They have honor, but I do not know if they have gratitude.” “DEITY MAGIC BROUGHT US HERE,” RHYS SAID, “BUT HOW DO WE get out?
There’s no door anymore to the dead gardens.” “Meredith,” Frost said. I looked at him. “Ask the sithen to give us a door leading out of here.” “Do you think it will be that easy?” Rhys said. “If the sithen wishes Merry to save Nerys’s people, yes,” said
Frost. “And if it doesn’t wish them saved, or if it doesn’t care?” Frost shrugged. “If you have a better suggestion, I am listening.” Rhys spread his hands as if to say no. I looked out at the dark wall and said, “I need a door that leads
out of here.” The darkness grew less, and a door—a large golden door—appeared in
the cave wall. I almost said, Thank you, but some of the older magicks
don’t like to be thanked—they take insult from it. I swallowed, and whispered,
“It’s a lovely door.” Carving appeared around the door frame, vines drawn through the
wood as if by an invisible finger. “That’s new,” Rhys whispered. “Let us go through, before it decides to vanish,” Frost said. He was right. He was most certainly right. But strangely, none of
us wanted to pass through the door until the invisible finger had finished
drawing its vines. Only when the wood had stopped moving did Doyle touch the
golden handle, and turn it. He led the way into a hallway that was almost as
black as his own skin. If he stood still, he’d blend into the background. Rhys touched the wall. “We haven’t had a black corridor like this
in the sithen for years.” “It’s made of the same rock as the queen’s chamber,” I whispered.
I’d had so many bad experiences in the queen’s shiny black-walled room that seeing
the sithen turn black like that room frightened me. Mistral was the last one through the door. When he stepped through,
the door vanished, leaving a smooth black wall, untouched and unyielding. “The hallway where Mistral and Merry had sex is turning to white
marble,” Frost said. “What caused this corridor to change to black?” “I do not know,” Doyle said. He was looking up and down the black
hallway. “It has changed too much. I do not know where we are in the sithen.” “Look at this,” Frost said. He was staring up at the wall across
from us. Doyle moved to stand beside him, staring at what, to me, looked
like blank wall. Doyle made a harsh, hissing sound. “Meredith, call the door
back.” “Why?” “Just do it.” His voice was quiet, but it vibrated with urgency, as
if he were forcing himself to whisper when what he wanted to do was scream. I didn’t argue with that tone in his voice. I called out, “I would
like a door back into the dead gardens.” The door appeared again, all gold and pale wood, and carved vines.
Doyle motioned Mistral to take the lead. Mistral reached for the golden handle,
a naked sword in his other hand. What was happening? Why were they frightened?
What had I missed? Mistral went through with Abe behind him, me in the middle, and
Rhys and Doyle following. Frost came last. But before I passed thorugh the
doorway, Abe stopped, and Mistral’s voice came urgent from inside the dead
gardens, “Back, go back!” Doyle said, “We cannot stay here in the black hallway.” Rhys was
pressed against my back, Abe pressed against my front. We were frozen between
the two captains of the guards, each trying to get us moving in the opposite
direction. “We cannot have two captains, Mistral,” Frost said. “Without a
single leader we are indecisive and endangered.” “What is wrong?” I asked. There was a sound from down the hallway—a heavy, slithering sound
that froze my heart in my chest. I was afraid I recognized it. No, I had to be
wrong. Then a second sound came: a high chittering sound—one that could be
mistaken for birds, but wasn’t. “Oh, Goddess,” I whispered. “Forward, Mistral, now, or we are lost,” Doyle said. “It is not our garden beyond the door,” Mistral said. The high-pitched bird-like sounds were coming closer, outpacing the
heavy slithering weight. The sluagh, the nightmares of the Unseelie Court and a
kingdom in their own right, moved fast but the nightflyers always moved faster
than the rest of the sluagh. We were inside the sluagh’s hollow hill; somehow
we had crossed to their sithen. If they found us here…we might survive, or not. “Do sluagh wait on the other side of the door?” Doyle asked Mistral
urgently. “No,” Mistral called back. “Then go, now!” Doyle ordered. Abe stumbled forward as if Mistral had moved suddenly out of the
way. We came through the door in a rush with Doyle pushing from behind. He was
like some kind of elemental force at our backs. It put us in a heap on the
ground. I couldn’t see anything but white flesh, and I felt the muscled weight
of them all around me. “Where are we?” Frost asked. Rhys moved, drawing me to my feet with him. Doyle, Mistral, and
Frost were all on alert, weapons out, searching for something to fight. The
door had vanished, leaving us on the shore of a dark lake. Lake may have been too strong a word. The depression was dry
except for a slimy skim of water at the very bottom. Bones littered the floor
of the dying lake, and the shore where we stood. The bones shone dully in the
dim light that fell from the stone ceiling, as if the moon had been rubbed into
the rock. All around the shore, the stone walls of the cavern rose steeply up
into the gloom, surrounded only by a narrow ledge before a steep drop-off into
the lake bed. “Call the door again, Meredith,” Doyle said, his dark face still
searching the dead land. “Yes, and be more specific about our destination this time,”
Mistral said. Abe was still on the ground. I heard a sharp intake of breath, and
glanced over at him. His hand was black and shiny in the dim light. “What are
these bones that they could cut sidhe flesh?” Doyle answered him. “They are the bones of the most magical of the
sluagh. Things so fantastical that when the sluagh began to fade in power,
there was not enough magic to sustain their lives.” I clung to Rhys and whispered, “We’re in the sluagh’s dead gardens.” “Yes. Call the door, now.” Doyle glanced at me, then back to the
dim landscape. Rhys had one arm around me, the other hand full of his gun. “Do it,
Merry.” “I need a door to the Unseelie sithen.” On the far side of the dead
lake, the door appeared. “Well, that’s inconvenient,” Rhys whispered wryly, but he tucked me
closer against his body. “There is room to walk the edge, if we are careful,” Mistral said.
“We can make our way between the cavern walls and the lake bed, if we pick our
way carefully around the bones.” “Be very careful,” Abe said. He was on his feet now, but his left
hand and arm were coated with blood. He still held the horn cup in his right
hand, though nothing else—he’d left all his weapons behind in the bedroom.
Mistral had dressed and rearmed. Frost was as armed as he had begun the night.
Doyle had only what he had been able to grab—no clothes limited how much you
could carry. “Frost, bind Abeloec’s wound,” said Doyle. “Then we will start for
the door.” “It is not that bad, Darkness,” Abe said. “This is a place of power for the sluagh, not for us,” Doyle said.
“I would not take the chance that you bleed to death for want of a bandage.” Frost didn’t argue, but went to the other man with a strip of cloth
torn from his own shirt. He began to bind Abe’s hand. “Why does everything hurt more sober?” Abe asked. “Things feel better sober, too,” Rhys said. I looked up at him. “You say that like you know that for certain.
I’ve never seen you drunk.” “I spent most of the fifteen hundreds as drunk as my constitution
would let me get. You’ve seen Abe working hard at it—we don’t stay drunk
long—but I tried. Goddess knows, I tried.” “Why then? Why that century?” “Why not?” he asked, making a joke of it, but that was what Rhys
did when he was hiding something. Frost’s arrogance, Doyle’s blankness, Rhys’s
humor: different ways to hide. “His wound will need a healer,” Frost said, “but I have done what I
can.” “Very well,” said Doyle, and he began to lead the way around the
edge of the lake, toward the soft, gold shine of the door that had come because
I called it. Why had it appeared all the way across the lake? Why not beside
us, like the last two times? But then, why had it come at all? Why was the
sluagh’s sithen, as well as the Unseelie sithen, obeying my wishes? The shore was so narrow that Doyle had to put his back to the wall
and edge along, for his shoulders were too broad. I actually fit better on the
narrow path than the men, but even I had to press my naked back to the smooth
cave wall. The stones weren’t cold as they would have been in an ordinary cave,
but strangely warm. The lip of shore we inched across was meant for smaller
things to travel, or perhaps not meant to be walked at all. The skeletons
littering the shore were those of things that would have swum, or crawled, but
nothing that walked upright. The bones looked like the jumbled-together remains
of fish, snakes, and things that normally didn’t have skeletons in the oceans
of mortal earth. Things that looked like squid, except that squid did not have
internal skeletons. We were halfway around that narrow, bone-studded shore when the air
wavered on its far side next to the door. For a moment the air swam, and then
Sholto, King of the Sluagh, Lord of That Which Passes Between, was standing
there. SHOLTO WAS TALL, MUSCLED, HANDSOME, AND LOOKED
EVERY bit a highborn sidhe of the Seelie Court. His long hair was even a
pale yellow, like winter sunshine with an edge of snow to it. His arm was in a
sling, and as he turned his head to the light, a faint darkness—like a stain of
bruises—touched his face. Kitto had said Sholto’s own court had attacked him.
They were afraid that bedding me would make Sholto completely sidhe and no
longer sluagh enough to be their king. Four robed figures stood behind him. They fanned out, some toward
the golden door, some toward us. Doyle said, “King Sholto, we are not here of
our own choice. We ask forgiveness for entering your kingdom uninvited.” I would have dropped to my knees, if there had been room, but the
crumbling edge of black earth was only inches from my feet, and my back was
plastered against the stone wall. There was no room for niceties on this path.
There was also precious little room for the guards to fight—if they attacked us
now, we were going to lose. A blade glimmered from the edge of one of the shorter cloaked
guards as he spoke. “You are nude and nearly weaponless: Only something
desperate would bring you here like this, with the princess in tow.” “It is the beginning of their invasion,” came a female voice from
one of the tallest guards. I knew that voice. It was Black Agnes, Sholto’s
chief bodyguard, and chief among his lovers at this court. She had tried to
kill me once before for jealousy’s sake. Sholto turned enough to look at her. The movement revealed that
wide, pale bandages were all he was wearing on his upper body. Whatever they
covered must have been a terrible wound. “Enough, Agnes, enough!” Sholto silenced her, rumbling echoes
around the cavern. The black-robed figure of Agnes that loomed over him glanced at me.
I had a moment to see the gleam of her eyes in the dark ugliness of her face.
The night-hags were ugly; it was part of what they were. One of the shorter, robed guards leaned into Sholto, as if
whispering, but the echoes that hissed along the cave walls were not human
speech. The high-pitched tittering of a nightflyer was coming from the
human-size figure—though it couldn’t be a nightflyer, for it walked upright. Sholto turned back to us. “Are you saying that your queen sent you
here?” “No,” Doyle said. “Princess Meredith,” Sholto called, “we are within our rights to
slay your guards and keep you here until your aunt ransoms you back. Darkness
knows this, as does the Killing Frost. On the other hand, Mistral might have
let his temper lead him astray, and Abeloec can turn up anywhere when he’s lost
in drink, can’t he, Segna?” The figure in the pale yellow cloak spoke in a rough voice. “Aye,
he were unhappy when he sobered up, weren’t you, cup bearer?” I’d heard Abe
called that before as a term of derision, but I’d never understood until
tonight. It was a reminder of what he had once been; a way of rubbing his face
in what he had lost. “You taught me to be more cautious about where I passed out,
ladies,” Abe said, and his voice was his usual casual, amused, bitter tone. The two hags laughed. The other guards joined in a chorus of
hissing laughter, which let me know that whatever the two shorter guards were,
they were the same kind of creature. Sholto spoke. “Don’t worry, Darkness, the hags didn’t help Abe
break his vow of celibacy, for that is a death sentence to all. The tearing of
white sidhe flesh amuses them almost as much as sex.” The high twittering voice came faintly again. Sholto nodded at what
it had said. “Ivar makes a good point. You are all wet and muddy, and that did
not happen here in our garden.” He motioned with his good hand at the caked,
drying earth and the water trapped feet below us, clearly inaccessible. “I would ask permission to bring the princess off this ledge,”
Doyle said. “No,” Sholto said, “she is safe enough there. Answer the question,
Darkness…or Princess…or whoever. How did you get wet and muddy? I know that it
is snowing aboveground; do not use that to lie.” “The sidhe never lie,” Mistral said. Sholto and his guards all laughed. The high tittering mixed with
the rumbling bass/alto of the hags and Sholto’s open, joyous laughter. “The
sidhe never lie: Spare us that, the biggest lie of all,” said Sholto. “We are not allowed to lie,” Doyle said. “No, but the sidhe version of the truth is so full of holes that it
is worse than a lie. We, the sluagh, would prefer a good honest lie to the
half-truths that the court we are supposed to belong to feeds us. We starve on
a diet of near lies. So tell us true, if you can, how came you wet and muddy,
and here?” “It rained in the dead gardens, in our sithen,” Doyle said. “More lies,” Agnes said. I had an idea. “I swear by my honor—” I began. One of the hags
laughed at that, but I kept going. “—and the darkness that devours all things
that it was raining in the Unseelie gardens when we left them.” I’d given not
just an oath that no sidhe would willingly break—because of the curse that went
with the breaking—but the oath that I’d demanded of Sholto weeks ago when he
found me in California. He’d sworn the oath that he meant me no harm, and I’d
believed him. The severity of the oath silenced even the night-hags. “Be careful
what you say, Princess,” Sholto said. “Some magicks still live.” “I know what I swore, and I know what it means, King Sholto, Lord
of That Which Passes Between. I am wet with the first rain to fall upon the
dead gardens in centuries. My skin is decorated with soil reborn, dry no more.” “How is this possible?” Sholto demanded. “It is not possible,” Agnes said. She pointed one dark,
muscled arm at the door. “This is Seelie magic, not Unseelie. They conspire
together to destroy us. I told you, the golden court would never have dared if
they did not have the full support of the Queen of Air and Darkness.” She pointed
a little dramatically at the shiny door. “This proves it.” “Meredith,” Doyle said softly, “make the door go away.” “Whispering will not make you my friend, Darkness,” Sholto said. “I told the princess to make the door go away, so that you would
understand this is not Seelie business.” Agnes turned so suddenly that her hood fell back to reveal the dry
black straw of her hair, the ruin of her complexion, covered in bumps and
sores. The hags hid their ugliness, which was an exception among the sluagh. Most
of them saw every oddity as a mark of beauty, or power. The hags hid
themselves, though—as did the two shorter guards. Agnes pointed the long hand with its black-taloned claws at me.
“She did not conjure this door. She is mortal, and mortal hand never made this
doorway.” “Princess, if you would,” Doyle said low but clear, so that he
couldn’t be accused of whispering. I spoke loudly, so they’d hear me, and the cave caught the echo of
my voice, so that it seemed to bounce along the walls. “I need the door to go
away now, please.” There was a moment’s hesitation, as if the door wanted to give me a
second to reconsider; then, when I didn’t, the door vanished. Sholto’s guards
shifted, and Agnes startled as if something had goosed her. “Mortal flesh
cannot control the sithen. Any sithen.” “I would have agreed with you, until a few hours ago,” I said. “How did you come here?” Sholto asked. “I asked for a door to the dead gardens. It never occurred to me
that any door I could conjure would bring me to your home, Sholto.” “King Sholto,” Agnes corrected me. “King Sholto,” I said dutifully. “Why would that request bring you to our garden, Princess
Meredith?” Sholto asked. “Doyle told me to get us back to the dead gardens. I did just that:
I called a door to the dead gardens. But I did not specify which garden, and
you know the rest.” Sholto stared at me. The triple gold of his irises—molten metal,
autumn leaves, and pale sunshine—made his face beautiful, but it did not make
the look one bit less intense. He stared at me as if he would weigh me with a
look. “This cannot be true,” Agnes said. “If it was a lie, they’d have a better one than this,” Sholto said. “Do you still believe everything that a piece of white sidhe flesh
tells you, King Sholto? Have you learned nothing from what they did to you?”
Agnes asked. I wasn’t sure what she meant, but I guessed it had to do with the
bandages he wore. “Silence,” Sholto said, but there was something in his face, the
way he turned, that spoke of embarrassment. The last time I’d seen Sholto, he
had hidden behind a mask of arrogance, much as Frost did. Whatever mask he had
built to hide behind in court seemed to have shredded, so that he now had
nothing for his emotions to hide behind. “May we approach you, King Sholto?” I asked, and my voice was
clear, but softer. The tall, elegant, arrogant man whom I’d met in Los Angeles wasn’t the same man who stood before me now, shoulders slightly hunched. “No, you may not,” Agnes said, in her strangely rich voice. Most
night-hags spoke in a cackling voice, as if they’d swallowed gravel. Sholto turned on her, and the movement cost him, for he nearly
stumbled. It seemed to feed his anger. “I am king here, Agnes, not you. Me!” He
thumped himself in the upper chest. “Me, Agnes, not you, me! I am still king
here!” He turned to us. The front of his bandages showed fresh blood, as
if he’d torn stitches. Sholto was half highborn sidhe and half of the sluagh,
and the sluagh were even harder to injure than the sidhe. What could have hurt
him this badly? “Bring her onto solid land, Darkness,” Sholto said. Doyle led me forward, carefully. Rhys’s hand never left my other
arm. They eased me out onto the broader shoreline. The others followed, mincing
their way onto secure ground. Doyle took my hand and led me forward, very formally, toward the
waiting sluagh. We had to come forward slowly, because of the bones. We’d seen
what they’d done to Abe, and we were both barefoot. We’d had enough injuries
for the night. “How I hate you, Princess,” Agnes said. Sholto spoke without turning around to look at her. “I am very
close to losing my patience with you, Agnes. You don’t want that.” “They move like shadow and light, so graceful through the bone
field that is our garden,” Agnes said, “and you watch her as if she were food
and drink, and you were starving.” The comment made me look up, away from the dangerous bones. “Do not
do this, Agnes,” he said, but his face was naked to his need. She was right
about that look on his face. It was more than just lust, though it wasn’t love,
either. There was pain in his gaze, like a man watching something that he knew
he could not have, and he wanted that thing more than anything else in the
world. What had laid Sholto bare to the eyes of the world? What had stripped
him to this? Doyle stopped in a space of ground mostly clear of bones, just out
of reach of the sluagh—or as far out of reach as we would get here. The other
men had followed a few steps behind us, as if Doyle had given them some signal
that I hadn’t seen, so they wouldn’t crowd Sholto and his guards. We were in
the wrong. We had invaded their land, not the other way around, so we needed to
be the more polite. I understood that, but looking into Sholto’s face I felt
like we had walked into the middle of something that had nothing to do with us. I began to kneel and pulled Doyle down with me. I bowed my head,
not just to show respect, but because I couldn’t bear the look on Sholto’s face
anymore. I didn’t deserve such a look. I was wet, splattered with mud. I must
have looked like something the cat dragged in out of the storm, yet he stared
at me with a desire that was painful to see. I’d already agreed to have sex
with him, as he was part of the royal guard for the queen, as well as a king in
his own right. He would have me, so why did he look at me the way Tantalus must
have looked in Hades? “You are princess of the Unseelie Court, in line to be queen. Why
do you bow to me?” Sholto’s voice tried to be neutral, and almost achieved it. I spoke, still gazing at the ground, my hand still resting in
Doyle’s. “We came to your lands accidentally, but uninvited. It is we who have
trespassed. We who owe you an apology. You are King of the Sluagh, and though
you are a part of the Unseelie Court, you are still a kingdom in your own right.
I am only a royal princess—perhaps heir to a throne that rules over your
lands—but you, Sholto, you are already a king. A king of the dark host itself.
You and your people are the last great host, the last wild hunt. They are a
wondrous and fearsome thing, the people that call you king. They, and you,
deserve respect in your own lands from anyone less than another high ruler.” I heard someone shift behind me, as if one of the other guards
would have protested some of what I said, but Doyle’s hand was peaceful under
mine. He understood that we were still in danger; besides, what I said was
true. There had been a time when the sidhe understood that you respected all
the kingdoms in your care, not just the ones that were blood of your blood. “Get up, get up, and do not mock me!” Sholto’s words were
inexplicably rage-filled. I looked up to find that handsome face consumed with anger, twisted
with it. “I do not understand—” I began, but he didn’t give me time to finish
the sentence. He strode forward, grabbed my hand, and jerked me to my feet.
Doyle came with me, tightening his grip on my other hand. Sholto’s fingers dug into my upper arm as he pulled me closer and
raged inches from my face. “I did not believe Agnes. I did not believe that
Andais would allow such outrage, but now I do. Now I believe it!” He shook me
hard enough to make me stumble. Only Doyle’s hand kept me from falling. I fought to keep my voice even as I said, “I don’t know what you
are talking about.” “Don’t you, don’t you!” He let go of me abruptly, sending me
stumbling back against Doyle. Sholto dug his uninjured hand into the bandages
at his chest and stomach, tearing at them. Doyle turned his body so that I was on the other side of him, and
his body would be between me and whatever was about to happen. I didn’t argue
with him. Sholto was moody, but I’d never seen him like this. “Did you come so you could see what they did? Did you want to see
it?” He screamed the last, filling the cave with echoes, as if the walls
themselves screamed back. I could see what was under the bandages now. Sholto’s mother had
been a noble lady of the Unseelie Court, but his father had been a nightflyer.
The last time I’d seen Sholto’s upper body bare, without him wasting magic to
make it look smooth and muscled, and fully sidhe, there had been a nest of
tentacles starting a few inches below the breast area to stop just above his
groin. He had the full set of tentacles that the nightflyers used as arms and
legs, as well as the tiny suction-tipped tentacles that were secondary sexual
organs. It had been these little extras that had made me avoid taking him to my
bed—Goddess help me, I’d seen them as a deformity. But that wasn’t a problem
now. The skin where the tentacles had been was now just raw, red, naked flesh.
Whoever had done it hadn’t just chopped the tentacles off, they had shaved them
away, along with most of his skin. “THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE, MEREDITH—YOU DIDN’T
KNOW. YOU really didn’t know.” His voice sounded calmer, half relieved,
half reinjured, as if he hadn’t expected it. I forced myself to look away from the wound, and at his face. The
eyes were too wide, his mouth open, as if he were panting. He looked like he
was in shock. I found my voice, but it was a hoarse whisper. “I did not know.”
I licked my lips and tried to get hold of myself. I was Princess Meredith
NicEssus, wielder of two hands of power, trying to be queen; I had to do better
than this. I was huddled against Doyle, but pulled myself away. If Sholto could
survive such a wound, then the least I could do was not cower in the face of
it. The high-pitched voice came from one of the shorter guards again,
and Sholto spoke as if in response. “Ivar is right. The looks on all your faces
make it clear—none of you knew. On the one hand, I feel less betrayed; on the
other, what it tells me about the politics at work here says it’s more
dangerous for our court—for both our courts.” I stepped toward him, slowly, the way you’d approach a wounded
animal. Slowly, so you don’t scare him more. “Who did this?” I asked. “The golden court did this.” “You mean the Seelie?” He gave a small nod. Doyle said, “Only Taranis himself might be able to wrest you away
from your sluagh. No other noble at his court is powerful enough to take you
like that.” Sholto looked at Doyle, a long, considering look. “That is high
praise from the Queen’s Darkness.” “It is truth. The princess said it best: The sluagh are the last of
the wild hunts. The last left in all of faerie. You and your people alone still
have the wild magic running through your veins. It is not a small power, King
Sholto.” “We should have heard the battle even inside our own sithen,” Frost
said, and there was a question in his voice. Sholto’s eyes flicked to him, then away again, as if he suddenly
found that he didn’t want to meet anyone’s eyes. Segna the Gold’s voice whined from out of her dirty yellow hood.
“What cannot be taken with force of arms, can easily be won with soft flesh.” Sholto didn’t tell her to be quiet. He actually hung his head, so
that a sweep of his own pale hair shadowed his face. I didn’t understand what
Segna meant, but it had clearly hit home for him. “I would not ask this of you,” Doyle said, “but if Taranis’s people
have harmed you, then it is a direct challenge to our queen’s authority. Either
he believes we will not retaliate, or he believes we are not strong enough to
retaliate.” Sholto looked up then. “Now do you understand why I thought Queen
Andais had to know?” Doyle nodded. “Because if she had not given her permission, then
this attack makes even less sense.” “Wars have begun over less,” Mistral said. The comment earned him a glance from Sholto. “The last time I saw
you, you sat in the consort’s chair, at the feet of Princess Meredith.” Mistral bowed. “I was so honored.” “I have sat in the chair, and it was an empty honor. Have you found
it so?” Mistral hesitated, then said, “I have found it everything I would
hope it to be, and more.” I fought not to glance back at him. His voice was so careful, I
knew he saw something in the king before us that I hadn’t seen until now. He
was desperate to know the touch of another sidhe; he wanted to have another’s
glow of high magic to match his own. It hadn’t occurred to me that Sholto had
been here in his own kingdom pining for me to keep my promise and offer him my
body. Assassination attempts, murders, and more political machinations than I
could keep track of had kept me from fulfilling it. But I hadn’t meant to
ignore Sholto. “I did not mean it to be an empty honor, King Sholto,” I said. “I
mean to keep my promise to you.” “Now—you will bed him now.” Segna’s voice again, like a grating
whine. “It’s what the Seelie bitch said, too, that once he healed up, she’d bed
him.” I stared up at him. “You allowed someone to do this to you?” He shook his head. “Never.” Agnes’s voice, more cultured, more human than her sister hag’s.
“Sholto, you have dreamt of being sidhe, completely sidhe, since you were
small. Do not lie to someone who helped raise you.” “I also wanted the wings of a nightflyer to come out of my back
when I was small—do you remember that?” She nodded, that head seeming too large for the narrow shoulders.
“You cried when you realized you would never have wings.” “We want many things when we are children. I admit that there were
times when I wished they were gone.” He made a motion as if he would touch what
was no longer there, the way an amputee will try to scratch a ghost limb. His
hand fell away before it made contact with the raw ruin of his stomach. “How did they trap you, and why did they do this?” Doyle asked. “I am a king in my own right, not just a noble of the queen’s
guard. If the Seelie did not see me as an unclean thing, I could have bedded
one of their sidhe women long ago. But I am considered a worse crime than a
mere Unseelie sidhe. Queen Andais calls me her Perverse Creature, and the
Seelie truly believe that. I am a creature, a thing, an abomination to them.” “Sholto,” I whispered. “Don’t, Princess—I have seen you flinch away from me, too.” I moved toward him. “At first, yes. But since then I have seen you
shining in your power, with a play of colors in those extras so that they shone
like jewels in the sun. I have felt your body thrumming with magic and power,
your nakedness inside my body.” I touched his arm. He didn’t pull away. “You did not fuck him,” Segna said. “No, but I’ve held him in my mouth, and if you hadn’t interrupted
that night, we might have done more.” I had not enjoyed Sholto’s extra bits,
but once he had started to glow with power, his magic responding to my touch, I
had seen him clearly for a shining moment. Seen him as handsome and seen that
nest of tentacles not as a deformity but just as another part of him. I doubted
I could have slept in the same bed with him, but sex…sex had seemed like a good
idea in that moment. I tried to let him see that in my face now, but perhaps it
showed, because he drew away and began to tell the story of the deception. “I should have known it was a lie,” he said. “Lady Clarisse offered
to meet with me. She sent a note saying that she had glimpsed me without my
shirt, and had not been able to stop fantasizing about it. I leapt at the
chance, not stopping to question. I wanted so much to be with another sidhe,
even if it was for only a night.” I didn’t feel guilty very often—few in faerie do—but in that moment
I knew that if I had taken him to my bed, he wouldn’t have been vulnerable to
the Seelie’s trick. Or maybe he would have been more vulnerable—we’d never
know. I tried to hug him without hurting the front of his body. Segna reached
around and shoved me away. “Do not touch her again,” Sholto snapped at Segna, and his voice
was full of a choking anger. “Now she’ll cuddle you,” Segna whined, “now she’ll touch you,
because the icky bits are gone. Now she wants you, just like the other sidhe
bitch.” “She would have touched me that night in Los Angeles if you had
left us alone,” he said. Agnes reached to the other hag and drew her back. “He is right,
Segna. We bear blame in this atrocity, too.” A tear trailed down out of the sickly yellow of Agnes’s eye. She
turned away so I wouldn’t see. Most of faerie cried when we cried, and
displayed any emotion out in the open. It was only when we got close to a
throne that we learned to hide what we felt. We were meant to be a freer people
than this. “Lady Clarisse,” Sholto continued, “took me inside the Seelie
sithen. She led me cloaked through back ways to her room. Then she told me that
although the tentacles fascinated her, she also feared them. She said she could
not bear to have the tentacles touch her while we made love. Here I was truly a
fool—I let her tie me up, so I would not accidentally brush her with the parts
she feared, and said she craved.” He wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes again. I
watched his face redden even through the strands of his white hair. He burned
with embarrassment. “When I was helpless, other sidhe slipped into the room.
They did to me what you see.” “Was their king with them?” Doyle asked. Sholto shook his head. “He is not a king who does his own dirty
work. You know that, Darkness.” “Did the king know?” Doyle said. “They would not have done this without his knowledge,” I said.
“They fear him too much.” “But by not being present, he has left himself room to deny it,”
Sholto said. “If I could see what he hoped to gain from this, I would believe
it of him. But what does this accomplish?” “Some of your people believed that Queen Andais did this to you,
allowed it to be done. Perhaps this atrocity was committed with that as the
intent. You are her strongest ally, King Sholto. If you had left her side, what
then?” Doyle asked. “The only reason for the king to want our queen shorn of her allies
is that he means to make war. And if any of faerie make war on another, our
treaty with America is breached. We will all be cast out of the last country
that would take us in. If Taranis caused that, the rest of faerie would rise up
against him, and he would be destroyed.” We knew that Taranis had done something almost as bad earlier in
the year. He had released the Nameless, a formless being. It had been made of
the discarded power that all the fey had been forced to shed in order to be
allowed to remain in America—one of the restrictions placed on us when
President Jefferson allowed us to immigrate. The faerie had done two weirding
spells in Europe, trying to control ourselves enough to live peaceably with the
humans, but we had done one more here. I don’t think any of the sidhe
understood what we were giving up. I was born long after the spell, so that I
knew our glorious past as stories, legends, rumors. Taranis had released that trapped magic, tried to use it to kill
Maeve Reed. Reed was the golden goddess of Hollywood—and once upon a time, the
goddess of cinema. She had known his secret, that he was infertile, that the
problem of his childlessness wasn’t in the long string of wives that he kept
replacing. It was him, and he had suspected it for a hundred years, when he
cast Maeve Reed out of faerie for refusing his bed. She had done so on the
grounds that the last wife he’d put aside had gotten pregnant by someone else.
She’d told the king to his face that she thought he was infertile, and these
many years later, he’d tried to take his revenge. One of the things that prompted Queen Andais to call me back from
exile had been her discovery from human doctors that she was infertile. The
ruler of a faerie land is the land, and if they are not fertile—not
healthy—the land and people die. It is a very old magic, and a true one. If
Taranis had known about his infertility for a hundred years without revealing
it, then he had condemned his people to death, knowingly. They killed rulers
for such crimes in faerie. “You are all entirely too quiet,” Sholto said to us. “You know
something. Something that I need to know.” “We are not free to discuss it, not openly,” Doyle said. “You will not be allowed to be alone with him,” Agnes said. “We are
not such fools as that.” “I cannot argue with Agnes on this,” Sholto said. Again he made
that gesture as if he would stroke the missing bits. “I have put myself at the
mercy of the sidhe once too often of late.” “We cannot tell this tale without our queen’s permission,” Doyle
said. “It would earn us, at the very least, a trip to the Hallway of
Mortality.” “I would not ask that of anyone,” Sholto said. He lowered his head,
and a sound escaped him. It was almost a sob. I wanted to hug him, but I didn’t
want to anger his hags any further. Besides, they were partially right—I could
touch him now without flinching. Still, I saw it for what it was, something
cruelly done—an amputation. I had felt those muscular tentacles on my body—just
a touch, but they had been real—and they’d had uses, which he now had lost. Sholto spoke low. “The Seelie said they were doing me a favor. That
if I healed without the deformity coming back, the lady in question would keep
her word and bed me for a night.” In sympathy, I started to touch him where the bits had been, then
stopped because the wound was bleeding and raw, and touching it must hurt. “But
the tentacles are part of you. It is like cutting off an arm, or worse.” “Do you know how often I have dreamt of looking like them?” He
motioned at the men at my back. “Agnes is right. I have dreamt of looking fully
sidhe for so long, and now it is as you say, I have lost pieces of myself. I
have lost arms, and more.” “The queen does not know this,” Doyle said. “Are you certain of that, Darkness? Beyond doubt?” Doyle started to simply say yes, then stopped himself. “No,
I am not certain, but she has not told us otherwise; nor have rumors to the
contrary touched our court.” “Wars have begun over less than this, Darkness. Wars between the
courts of faerie.” Doyle nodded. “I know.” “Agnes says that Andais had to have given Taranis her approval—even
if just tacitly—or Taranis would not have risked it. Do you think my hag is
right? Do you think the queen allowed this to happen?” “The sluagh are too important to the queen, King Sholto. I cannot
imagine a set of circumstances in which Andais would risk such hurt to the
sluagh’s vows to her court. I think it more likely that this was done, at least
partially, in a bid to strip our queen of your might. Why didn’t you tell the
queen, the court?” “I thought she must know. That she must have given permission. I
agreed with the hags—I did not think even Taranis would dare to do this without
Andais’s knowledge.” “I cannot argue your reasoning, but I do not believe she knows,”
Doyle said. “Why didn’t you tell me, Sholto?” I asked. “You once said to me
that only the two of us understand what it is like to be almost sidhe.
Almost tall enough, slender enough, almost—but not quite pure enough to be
accepted.” He almost smiled, almost. “We may have had that in common, but as I
told you in Los Angeles, no man had ever complained about your body; only
envious women.” I smiled at him. “About my breasts, you were right.” That earned me
a smile in return, which, given that awful wound, made me breathe more easily.
“But I am too short, too human looking for most of the sidhe, male or female,
to let me forget it.” “I told you then: They were fools,” Sholto said. He took my hand in
his and raised it up for a kiss, but when he tried to bend over me, the pain
stopped him in midmotion. I pressed his hand to my cheek. “Sholto, oh, Sholto.” “I had hoped to hear tenderness in your voice, but not for this
reason. Don’t pity me, Meredith, I could not bear it.” I didn’t know how to respond. I just held his hand against my face,
and tried to think of anything I could say that wouldn’t make him feel worse.
How could I not feel pity? “When did this happen, King Sholto?” Doyle asked. Sholto looked past me to the other man. “Two days ago, just before
your second press conference.” “The one during which two murders were committed,” Rhys said. Sholto looked at him. “You caught your murderer, though the human
police don’t know it yet. I hear you’re trying to let him heal from the torture
before showing him to the human police.” “Our queen made a mess of him,” Rhys said. “He is guilty?” Sholto made it a question. “We believe so,” Doyle said. “But you are not certain?” “What was done to your stomach, Queen Andais did to every inch of
Lord Gwennin.” Sholto winced, and nodded. “One would do much to stop such pain.” “Even confess to something you did not do,” Doyle said. I looked at Doyle then. “Do you think Gwennin is innocent?” “No. Nor do I believe he acted completely alone. Andais was using
his own intestines as a leash on him, Meredith. He would have been a fool not
to confess.” Sholto pressed my hand to his face. Segna tried to interfere but
Agnes stopped her, and the other two guards moved between Sholto and the hags.
I caught a glimpse of one of the guard’s faces. Oblong eyes full of nothing but
color, thin lipless mouth, and a face that was a strange mix of humanoid and
nightflyer. They were like Sholto, but no one would have ever have mistaken
them for sidhe. The eyes, though—the eyes were goblin eyes. The guard stared at
me with his face that looked only half formed, the nostrils mere slits. I did
not look away. I stared, memorized his face, for I had never seen another quite
like it. “You do not find me ugly.” The guard’s voice held that edge of
twittering—almost bird-like, but deeper. “No,” I said. “Do you know what I am?” “The eyes are goblin blood, but the face is nightflyer. I’m not
sure about the rest,” I said. “I am half-goblin and half-nightflyer.” “Ivar and Fyfe are my uncles on my father’s side,” Sholto said. The second guard spoke for the first time. His voice was deeper,
more “human.” He gave me the full gaze of his face. His eyes were the same
oblongs of color, a deep rich blue, but he had more nose, more lower jaw. If
he’d been taller, he might have passed for a goblin. But the skin wasn’t quite
the right texture. “I am Fyfe, brother to Ivar.” He gave the hags an unfriendly
look. “Our king felt the need of some male guards, who were not conflicted
about what to do with his body. We guard it, and that is all.” “This insult was not for lack of our ability to guard,” Agnes said.
“You, too, will be helpless when he chases his next bit of sidhe flesh. He
won’t want an audience, and he will go with her alone.” “Enough, Agnes. Enough, all of you.” Sholto pressed my hand tighter
against his face. “Why didn’t I tell you, Princess? How could I admit that
Seelie did this to me? That I was not warrior enough to save myself? That I
fell into their trap, because they offered me what you had promised? Agnes is
right in one thing: I am near blinded by my desire to be with another sidhe, so
blinded that I let a Seelie woman bind me. So blinded I believed her lie that
she was fascinated with my bits, but afraid of them, too.” He shook his head.
“I am King of the Sluagh, and even bound I should have had enough magic to save
myself from this.” He let go of me, stepped back. “The Seelie have magic that we do not,” Frost said. “The sluagh have magic that the Seelie have never possessed,” I
said. I touched Sholto’s arm. He flinched, but didn’t pull away. I squeezed his
arm, and wanted so badly to hold him, to try to chase this pain away. I rested
my head against his bare arm. My throat closed up, and I was suddenly choking
on tears. I began to weep, clutching at his arm. I couldn’t stop. He pulled me away from him enough to see my face. “You waste tears
on me—why?” I had to struggle to speak. “You are beautiful, Sholto, you
are—don’t let them make you think otherwise.” “Beautiful now that he’s butchered,” Segna said, looming over us,
pushing her way past the uncles. I shook my head. “You broke in on us in Los Angeles. You saw what I
was doing with him. Why would I have been doing those things if he was less
than beautiful to me?” “All I remember from that night, white flesh, is that you killed my
sister.” I had, but by accident. That night, in fear for my life, I had
lashed out with magic I hadn’t known I had. It had been the first night that my
hand of flesh had manifested. It was a terrible power—the ability to turn
living beings inside out, but they did not die. They lived on, impossibly on,
with their mouths lost inside a ball of flesh, and still they screamed. I’d had
to cut her to bits with a magical weapon to finally end her agony. I don’t know what shadows showed on my face, but Sholto reached for
me. Reached for me, to hold me, to give comfort, and it was too much for Segna.
She shoved the other two guards away as if they were straw before a storm wind.
She struck at me, shrieking her rage. Suddenly there was movement behind me, and in front of me. All the
guards moved at once, but Sholto was closest. He used his own body to shield
me, so Segna’s razor claws sliced his own white skin. He took the brunt of the
blow meant for me, and even what was left of that strike staggered me backward,
numbing my arm from shoulder to elbow. It didn’t hurt, because I couldn’t feel
it. Sholto pushed me into Doyle’s arms, and pivoted in the same
movement. The movement was so fast that it surprised Segna, made her stumble
nearer the edge of the lake. Sholto’s good arm was a pale blur as he smashed
into her. The blow sent her over the edge. She seemed to hang there in midair,
her nearly naked body revealed by the wings of her cape. Then she fell. SHE LAY JUST ABOVE THE LOW WATER, IMPALED ON A
SERIES OF spiked bones jutting out of her from throat to stomach. She
hung there, caught, bleeding, like a fish caught on some terrible hook. I think Sholto’s guards expected her to simply draw herself off the
spined ridge of the boned creature. Agnes, especially, seemed to be waiting,
patient, unworried. “Come on, Segna, get up.” Her voice was impatient. Segna lay there and bled, her legs flailing, exposing her most
intimate parts as she struggled. The hags wore a leather belt from which hung a
sword and a pouch, but that, and their cloaks, were all. Her body was both
larger than a human’s and more wizened, as if she were a shrunken giant. I saw the wide eyes, the fright on her face. She wasn’t going to
just get up. Sometimes, being mortal, I recognized real damage faster, because
on a visceral level, I knew it was a possibility. Creatures who are immortal,
or nearly so, don’t understand the disasters that could befall them. “Ivar, Fyfe, go to her.” “With due respect, King Sholto,” Fyfe said, “I would stay here, and
send Agnes down.” Sholto started to argue, but Ivar joined the argument. “We do not
dare leave Agnes up here with you alone. The princess will have guards, but you
will be unprotected.” “Agnes would not hurt me,” Sholto said, but he was staring at Segna
as if he were finally realizing just how bad it might be. “We are your guards, and your uncles. We would be poor at both
duties if we left you alone with Agnes now,” Ivar said in his bird-like voice.
People always expected the nightflyers to have hissing, ugly voices, but Ivar
sounded like a songbird—or how a songbird might sound if it could speak as
humans do. Most of the nightflyers sounded like that. “Segna is a night-hag,” Agnes said. “A mere bone will not bring her
down.” “I tripped on such a bone coming into your garden,” Abe said, and
raised his cloth-wrapped arm at her. Blood had soaked through much of the
cloth. “The bones hold old magic,” Doyle said. “Some of them are things
that hunted the sidhe and the other sluagh before they were tamed by your early
kings.” “Do not lecture me about my own people,” Agnes said. “I remember a time when Black Agnes was not a part of the sluagh,”
Rhys said, softly. She glared at him. “And I remember a time when you had other names,
white knight.” She spat in his direction. “We have both fallen far from what we
once were.” “Go with Ivar, Agnes. Go see to your sister,” Sholto said. She glared at him. “Do you not trust me?” “I once trusted the three of you more than any other, but you
bloodied me before the Seelie got hold of me. You cut me up first.” “Because you sought to betray us with some white-fleshed slut.” “I am king here, or I am not, Agnes. You either obey me, or you do
not. You will go down with Ivar to help Segna, or I will see it as a direct
challenge to my authority.” “You are gravely wounded, Sholto,” said the hag. “You cannot win
against me in this weakened state.” “It is not about winning, Agnes. It is about being king. Either I
am your king, or I am not. If I am your king, then you will do as I say.” “Do not do this, Sholto,” she whispered. “You raised me to be king, Agnes. You told me that if the sluagh do
not respect my threat, then I will not be king for long.” “I did not mean—” “Go with Ivar, now, or it ends between us.” She reached out to him, as if to touch his hair. He jerked back and yelled, “Now, Agnes, go now, or it will end
badly between us.” Fyfe threw back his cloak, revealing his weapons, and each of his
hands touched a sword hilt, ready for a cross-draw. Agnes gave Sholto one last look that was more despair than anger.
Then she followed Ivar down the steep slope of the lake, using her claws to dig
into the soil, so she wouldn’t slide into the bones that spiked the earth. Ivar was already wading through the still water. It came above his
waist, which meant the water was deeper than it had looked. He had to strain to
lay a hand over Segna’s heart between the hanging weight of her breasts. He
turned that lipless, unfinished face to look at Sholto, and the look did not
communicate good news. Agnes was taller than Ivar, and had an easier time in the water—it
came only to her thighs. She waded to the other hag, and when she reached her
let out a wail of despair. Sholto collapsed to his knees on the side of the lake. “Segna,” he
said, and there was real grief in his voice. I knelt beside him, touched his arm. He jerked away. “Every time I
am with you, someone I care about dies, Meredith.” Ivar called up, “I am not certain she is dying. Gravely injured.
She may yet live.” Agnes was petting her sister’s face. But I could see the gaping
mouth, the labored breathing. Blood bubbled from the chest wound when she
breathed, poured down her mouth. It would have been death to most. “Can she survive it?” I asked, softly. “I do not know,” Sholto said. “Once it would not have been a
killing blow, but we have lost much of what we were.” “Abeloec’s wound from the bones is still bleeding,” Doyle said. Sholto’s head drooped, hiding his face in a curtain of that white
hair. I was close enough to hear him crying, though so softly that I doubted
anyone else would hear it. I pretended not to notice, as was only respectful
for a king. Segna reached out to him. She spoke in a voice thick and bubbling
with her own blood, “My lord, mercy.” He raised his face, but kept his hair like a shield on either side,
so only I, kneeling beside him, could see the tracks of tears on his face. His
voice came clear and unemotional; you would never have known the pain in his
eyes from that voice. “Do you ask for healing, or for death, Segna?” “Healing,” she managed to say. He shook his head. “Get her off the bones.” He looked at Fyfe. “Go
help them.” Fyfe hesitated for a moment then slid, carefully, down the slope to
join his brother in the still, thick water. The three of them managed to slide
Segna free of most of the bones. One of them seemed caught on Segna’s own ribs,
and Agnes snapped that spine so that they could lower her into their arms. She
was writhing in pain, and coughing blood. Agnes raised a tearstained face. “We are not the people we once
were, King Sholto. She dies.” Segna reached a shaking hand out to him. “Mercy.” “We cannot save you, Segna. I am sorry,” said Sholto, for it now
seemed clear that this was the case. “Mercy,” she said again. Agnes said, “There is more than one kind of mercy, Sholto. Would
you leave her to a slow death?” Her voice managed to be both tear-choked and
hot with hatred. Such words should burn coming out. Sholto shook his head. Ivar’s high-pitched voice came. “It is your kill, Sholto.” “Their kill—the king’s and the princess’s,” Agnes said,
giving me a look of such venom that I fought not to flinch. If a look could
still kill among us, I would have died from that look in her eyes. She spat
into the water. “She did not strike the blow, I did,” Sholto said as he came to his
feet. He actually stumbled, and I caught him, helped him stand. He didn’t jerk
away, which let me know he was badly hurt. I could see the bleeding wound that
Segna had made, but I didn’t think it was that wound that made me him stumble.
Nor was it the amputation that weakened him now. There are wounds that never
show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. “My apologies, Sholto, but the hag is right,” Ivar’s high voice
said reluctantly, “Segna bled you both. If the princess was not a warrior, then
she would be free of this, but she is a sidhe of the Unseelie Court, and all
who claim that are warriors.” “The princess has killed more than once in challenge,” Fyfe said. “If she will not help finish Segna, then she will never be
acknowledged as queen of the sluagh,” Agnes said. She stroked Segna’s face, a
surprisingly gentle gesture given her dagger-like talons. I heard Doyle sigh. He moved close enough to whisper to me, “If you
do not help make this kill, Agnes will spread the rumor that you are not a
warrior.” “And that would mean what?” I whispered back. “It could mean that when you sit on the throne of the Unseelie Court, the sluagh will not come to your call, for they are a warrior people. They
will not be led by someone who is unbloodied in battle.” “I’ve been bloodied,” I said. The numbness was sliding away, and
now the pain was sharp and tearing. The wound was bleeding freely. What I
needed was to get medical attention, not to wade around in slimy water. “I’ll
need a dose of antibiotics after this.” “What?” Doyle and Sholto both asked. “I’m mortal. Unlike the rest of you, I can get an infection, blood
poisoning. So after we crawl around in that water, I’ll need antibiotics.” “You can truly catch all that?” Sholto asked. “I’ve had the flu, and my father made sure I had all my childhood
immunizations—he wasn’t sure how much I could withstand or heal.” Sholto gazed at me, studying my face. “You are fragile.” I nodded. “Yes, I am, by the standards of faerie.” I looked up at
Doyle. “You know, there are times when I’m not sure I want to be in charge
here.” “Do you mean that?” “If there was a better alternative than my cousin, yes, I mean it.
I’m tired, Doyle, tired. As much as I wanted to come back home to faerie, I’m
beginning to miss L.A. almost as much. To put some distance between me and all
this killing.” “I told you once, Meredith, that if I could bear to give the court
to Cel, I would leave with you.” “Darkness,” Mistral said, “you cannot mean that.” “You have not been outside faerie except for small trips. You have
not seen that there are wonders outside our hills.” He touched my face. “There
are some wonders that will not fade when we leave here.” He had told me that he would give up everything and follow me into
exile. Frost and he, both. When they first thought that the queen’s ring, a
relic of power, had chosen Mistral as my king Doyle had broken down and said he
could not bear it, to watch me with another. He had pulled himself together and
remembered his duty, as I’d remembered mine. Would-be queens and kings did not
run away and hide, and give their countries over to insane tyrants like my
cousin Cel. He was crazier than his mother, Andais. I stared up into Doyle’s face and I wanted him. Wanted to run away
with him. Frost came up beside us. I gazed at my two men. I wanted to wrap them
around me like a blanket. I did not want to climb down into that stinking hole
and wade through razor-sharp bones and dirty water to kill someone I hadn’t
meant to even hurt. “I don’t want this kill.” “It must be your choice,” Doyle said softly. Rhys joined us. “If we’re talking about running away to L.A. permanently, can I come, too?” I smiled at him, touched his face. “Yes, you come, too.” “Good, because once Cel’s on the throne, the Unseelie Court won’t
be safe for anyone.” I closed my eyes, rested my forehead against Doyle’s bare chest for
a minute. I pressed my cheek against him, held him tight, so I could listen to
the slow, steady beat of his heart. Abeloec, who had been quiet, spoke next to my face: “You have drunk
deep of the cup, of both cups, Meredith. Wherever you go, faerie will follow
you.” I looked at him, trying to hear all the double meanings in what
he’d said. “I don’t want this kill.” “You must choose,” Abeloec said. I clung to Doyle for a moment more, then tore myself away. I forced
myself to stand straight, shoulders back, though the shoulder Segna had torn
ached and stung. If my body didn’t heal itself, I’d need stitches. If we could
ever get back to the Unseelie Court, there were healers who could fix me up.
But it was as if something, or someone, didn’t want me getting back there. I
didn’t think it was political enemies, either—I was beginning to feel the hand
of deity pushing firmly in my back. I’d wanted the Goddess and the God to move among us again—all of us
had wanted that. But I was beginning to realize that when the gods move, you
either get out of the way or get swept along for the ride. I wasn’t sure
getting out of the way was an option for me. I caught the faintest scent of apple blossoms, a small…what?
Warning, reassurance? The fact that I wasn’t sure if it was a warning of danger
or a spiritual embrace pretty much summed up my feelings about being the
Goddess’s instrument: Be careful what you wish for. I looked at Sholto, with his wound seeping blood onto his bandages.
He and I had both wanted to belong, truly belong, to the sidhe. To be honored
and accepted among them. Look where it had gotten us. I held my hand out to him, and he took it. He took it, and squeezed
it tight. Even in all this horror and death, I felt in that one touch how much
it meant to him to touch me at all. Somehow, the fact that he still wanted me
so much made it all the worse. “I tried to share life with you, Meredith, but I am King of the
Sluagh, and death is all I have to offer.” I squeezed his hand. “We are both sidhe, Sholto, and that is a
thing of life. We are Unseelie sidhe, and that is a thing of death, but Rhys
reminded me what I’d forgotten.” “What had you forgotten?” “That the deities among us who brought death also once brought
life. We are not meant to be split apart like this. We are not light and dark,
evil and good; we are both and neither. We have all forgotten what we are.” “What I am in this moment,” said Sholto, “is a man who is about to
slay a woman who was my lover, and my friend. I can think of nothing beyond
this moment—as if when she dies at my hand, I will die with her.” I shook my head. “You won’t die, but you may wish you could, for a
moment.” “Only for a moment?” he asked. “Life is a selfish thing,” I said. “If you pass through the sorrow,
outrun the horror, you will begin to want to live again. You will be glad you
didn’t die.” He swallowed hard enough for me to hear it. “I don’t want to pass
through this.” “I’ll help you.” He almost smiled, and it was like a ghost flitting across his face.
“I think you’ve helped enough.” With that he let go of my hand and eased
himself over the edge, using his good hand to keep himself from sliding through
the bones. I didn’t look back at anyone. I just eased myself over the edge and
followed. Looking back wouldn’t make me feel better. Looking back would simply
make me want to ask for help. Some things you have to do yourself. Sometimes
what it means to lead is simply that you can’t ask for help. I found that the bones weren’t sharp on every point—it was mostly
the spines on the tops that were vicious. I grasped softer, rounder-looking
bones, using them as handholds. It took all my concentration to get down to the
water without losing my grip or cutting my hand. The water was surprisingly warm, like bathwater. The soil
underneath it was soft, and mushy, silt rather than mud. The footing was
uncertain, and again I let myself sink into concentration on the task at hand.
I focused on finding footing, avoiding anything that felt like a bone. I did
not want to think about what I was about to do. Segna had tried to kill me twice now, but I couldn’t hate her. It
would have been so much easier if I could have hated her. IF I HADN’T BEEN AFRAID OF GETTING STABBED ON
THE BONES, I would have swum out to where Sholto and Agnes stood holding
Segna. The other two guards, Ivar and Fyfe, were still in the water, still
close, but not holding the fallen woman. The water reached to my shoulders,
stinging in the claw marks that Segna had made on me, and plenty deep enough to
swim in, if it hadn’t hidden those bones beneath its surface. My blood trailed
into the black water, lost. Sholto was cradling Segna’s head and upper body as well as he could
with only one good arm. Agnes was still beside him, helping hold her sister hag
above the water. I stumbled on the soft bottom and went under. I came up
sputtering. Agnes’s voice came clear to me as she said to Sholto, “How can you
want that weak thing? How can that be what you want?” I heard earth sliding, water moving. I turned to find Doyle and
Frost in the water, wading toward me. Agnes yelled, “It is her kill or she will never be queen.” “We do not come to kill for her,” Doyle said. Frost said, “We come to guard her, as your king’s guard protects
him.” His face was an arrogant mask. His pale, expensive suit soaked up the
dirty water. His long silver hair trailed in the water. Somehow, he seemed more
dirtied by the water than anyone else, as if it spoiled his white-and-silver
beauty more grievously. Doyle’s blackness just seemed to melt into the water. The fact that
his long braid trailed in the water didn’t bother him. The only thing he
worried about keeping clean was his gun. Modern guns shoot just fine wet, but
he’d begun using firearms when dry powder meant life or death, and old habits
die hard. I waited for them to reach me, because I wanted the comfort of
their presence while I did this. What I really wanted to do was fall into their
arms and start screaming. I didn’t want to kill anymore—I wanted life for my
people. I wanted to bring life back to faerie, not death. Not death. I waited, and let their hands give me solace. Let them lift me
above the soft, treacherous bottom and guide me through the water. I didn’t
collapse against them, but I let myself take courage from the strength of their
hands. A bone brushed my leg. “Bone,” I said. “A ridge of bone, by the feel of it,” Doyle said. “Are you hoping Segna dies before you get here?” Agnes asked, voice
derisive. The tears shining on her face made me discount the tone. She was
losing someone she had lived with, fought beside, loved, for centuries. She’d
hated me before this; now she’d hate me even more. I did not want her as my
enemy, but it seemed as if no matter what I did, I couldn’t avoid it. “I’m trying not to share her fate,” I said. “I hope you do,” Agnes said. Sholto, tears plain on his face, looked at her. “If you ever raise
a hand to Meredith again, I will be done with you.” Agnes stared at him, searched his face, as she held Segna’s body.
She stared into the face of the man she loved. Whatever she saw there made her
bow her head. “I will do as my king bids.” The words were bitter; it seemed to
tighten my own throat just to hear them. They must have burned in Agnes’s
throat. “Swear it,” Sholto said. “What oath would you have of me?” she asked, head still bowed. “The oath that Meredith gave, that will do.” She shivered, and it wasn’t from cold. “I swear by the darkness
that eats all things that I will not harm the princess here and now.” “No,” Sholto said, “swear that you will never harm her.” She bowed lower, dry black hair trailing into the water. “I cannot
make that oath, my king.” “Why can you not?” “Because I mean her harm.” “You will not swear to never hurt her?” He sounded surprised. “I will not; cannot.” Ivar of the bird voice said, “May I suggest, Your Highness, that
she swear the oath to not harm the princess now, so we can all move about
freely. We can deal with her treachery later, once we’ve dealt with the
urgencies of the present moment.” Sholto clutched Segna to him, and her yellowed hands with their
broken claws grasped at him. “You are right,” he said. He looked at Agnes, who
was still bent over the water and Segna’s body. “Make what oath you will,
Agnes.” She straightened up, the water streaming from her hair. “I swear by
the darkness that eats all things that I will not harm the princess in this
moment.” “May I suggest something, King Sholto?” Doyle asked. “Yes,” Sholto answered, though his eyes were on the dying woman in
his arms. “Black Agnes should add to her oath that she will not harm the princess
while we are here in your garden.” Sholto just nodded and whispered, “Do as he says, Agnes.” “Do the sidhe guards give orders to our king now?” she said. “Do it, Agnes!” he screamed at her, and the scream ended in a sob.
He folded his body over Segna and wept openly. She glared at me, not Doyle, while she spoke, and each word seemed
dragged out of her. “I swear by the darkness that eats all things that I will
not harm the princess while we stand in the dead gardens.” “I think that is as good as we get from her,” Frost said, voice
low. Doyle nodded. “Aye.” They both looked at me, as if they knew this was a bad idea. I
addressed their look aloud. “There’s no way around this, only through it. We
have to live through this moment to get to the next.” Sholto raised his face enough to say, “Segna will not live through
this moment.” He hadn’t been this upset in Los Angeles when I’d done something
much more horrible to Nerys the Grey, his other hag. I didn’t point this out,
but I couldn’t help noting it. They had both been his lovers—but then again, I
knew better than most that you don’t feel for your lovers all the same. Segna
meant something to him, and Nerys had not. Simple, painful, true. I looked past the dying hag to Black Agnes, who watched Sholto
intently. I realized in that moment that she didn’t just weep for Segna’s
death, but like me remembered that he hadn’t wept for Nerys. Was she wondering
if he would weep for her? Or did she already know that he had loved Segna more?
I wasn’t sure, but I could tell it was a raw and painful thought that cut
across her features. She stared at the weeping king, and her thoughts carved
loss across her face. She would not come out of this night’s work simply
mourning Segna. She seemed to feel the weight of my gaze, because she turned. She
looked at me, the grief in her face changing into a fine, burning hatred. I saw
my death in her eyes. Agnes would kill me, if she could. Doyle’s hand tightened on my arm. Frost stepped over the bones in
front of us, hidden by the water, and put his broad shoulders in the way of
Agnes’s look, as if her look alone could somehow hurt me. That time was past.
But there would be more nights, and more ways of making one mortal princess
dead. “She has given her oath,” Sholto said in a choked voice. “It is all
we can do tonight.” That last was some acknowledgment that he saw what we saw
in Agnes’s face. I’d liked to have believed that he could keep a tight enough
rein on the hag, but her look said there would not be a leash of honor, or
love, stronger than her hate. I didn’t want to kill Segna, didn’t want to end her life while
Sholto wept for her. And now I knew that I must also kill Agnes or she’d see me
dead. I might not do the deed myself, and it might not happen today, but I
would have to call for her death. She was too dangerous, too well placed among
the sluagh to be allowed to live. As I let the thought come all the way up to the front of my mind, I
didn’t know whether to laugh, or weep. I didn’t want to kill one hag, and had
hated killing the first, yet I was already planning the death of the third. Frost and Doyle lifted me over the hidden ridge of bones. They half
floated me to Sholto, where he cried over the hag. They tried to let me go, but
I sank to my chin when they released me. They grabbed me in the same moment,
both fishing me higher above the black water. “She must stand on her own two feet for this kill,” Agnes said, her
voice holding some of the deadly heat of her look. “I don’t know if I’m tall enough,” I said. “I have to agree with the hag,” Fyfe said. “The princess must stand
on her own for the kill to be hers.” Frost and Doyle exchanged glances, still holding me between them.
“Let me down slowly,” I said. “I think I can touch bottom.” They did what I asked. If I kept my chin pointed up, I could just
barely keep the dirty water out of my mouth. “We have no weapons with us that will kill the immortal,” Doyle
said. “Nor we,” Ivar said. Sholto looked at me, his face raw with grief, and I fought to meet
that look. He moved, and a tiny wave slapped my face. I began treading water,
so I could keep my head above the surface. As I did so, my leg brushed
something—I thought it was a bone, but it moved. It was Segna’s arm, limp in
the water. My leg brushed it again, and the arm convulsed. “The bones are a killing thing,” I said. Then Segna said in a rattling voice, thick with things that should
never be in the throat of the living, “Kiss me one…last…time.” Sholto leaned over her with a sob. Ivar moved everyone back to give us room. He made certain that
Agnes moved back, too, which meant that Segna’s body began to sink below the
water. I moved forward, tried to help catch her, as I treaded water. I got a
hand on her body, felt the weight of her cloak wrap around my legs. I felt her
tense a heartbeat before her arm, which was behind me now, swept forward. I had
time to turn and put both hands on her arm, to keep the claws from my side. “Merry!” Doyle yelled. I had time to see her other arm sweeping up behind me. I let go of
the arm I was already fending off, and tried to sweep the second arm away from
me. Segna’s body rolled under the water, and took me with her. I HAD TIME TO TAKE A BREATH, THEN WE WERE
UNDERWATER. Segna’s face loomed under the dirty water. Her mouth opened,
screaming at me, blood blossoming from her mouth. My hands dug desperately into
her arms, too small to encircle them, as I forced them away from me and she
dragged me deeper into the water. Too late I realized that there were other ways to kill me than
claws—she was trying to impale me on submerged bone. I kicked my feet to stay
above the bone, to not let her spit me upon it. The point of bone held me on
its tip, and I kicked and pushed to keep it from piercing my skin. Segna pushed
and fought against me. The strength in her arms and body was almost too much
for me. She was wounded, dying, and it was all I could do to keep her from
killing me. My chest was tight; I needed to breathe. Claws, bones, and even the
water itself could kill. If I couldn’t push her off me, all she had to do was
simply hold me underwater. I prayed, “Goddess help me!” A pale hand shone in the water, and Segna was pulled backward, my
grip on her arms pulling me with her. We broke the surface together, both of us
gasping for breath. Her breath ended in a spattering cough that covered my face
in her blood. For a moment I couldn’t see who had pulled her back. I had to
blink her blood out of my eyes to see Sholto with his arm across her upper
body. He held her one-armed and yelled, “Get out, Meredith, get out!” I did what he said: I let her go and pushed backward, trusting that
there were no bones just behind me. Segna didn’t try to catch me. She used her newly freed hands to
claw down Sholto’s arm, making a crimson ruin of his white flesh. I treaded water, looking around for Doyle and Frost, and the
others. There were no others. I was paddling in a lake—a deep, cold lake—no
longer the shallow, stagnant pool we’d been wading in before. There was a small
island close at hand, but the shore was far away, and it was not a shore I
knew. I screamed, “Doyle!” But there was no answer. In truth, I hadn’t expected
one, for I could already see that we were either in a vision, or somewhere else
in faerie. I didn’t know which, and I didn’t know where. Sholto cried out behind me. I turned in time to see him go under in
a wash of red. Segna struck at the water where he’d vanished with the dagger
from her belt. Did she realize it was him she attacked now, or did she still
think she was killing me? I screamed, “Segna!” The sound seemed to reach her, because she hesitated. She turned in
the water and blinked at me. I pushed myself high enough out of the water so she could see me.
Sholto had not yet resurfaced. Segna screamed at me, the sound ending in a wet cough. Blood poured
down her chin, but she started moving toward me. I screamed, “Sholto!” hoping Segna would realize what she’d done
and turn back to rescue him. But she kept swimming, weakly, toward me. “He is only white flesh now,” she growled, in that too thick, too
wet voice. “He is only sidhe, not sluagh.” So much for her helping Sholto—obviously it was up to me. I took a
good breath and dived. The water was clearer here, and I saw Sholto like a pale
shadow sinking toward the bottom, blood trailing upward in a cloud. I screamed his name, and the sound echoed through the water. His
body jerked, and just then something grabbed my hair and yanked me upward. Segna pulled me through the water. I could see that she was making
for the bare island. My naked back hit the rocks, scraped along them, as she
struggled from the lake. She pulled me with her, until both of us were free of
the water. She lay panting on the rock, her hand still tangled in my hair. I
tried to ease away from that hand, but it convulsed tighter, wrenching my hair
as if she meant to take it out by the roots. She started dragging me closer to
where she lay. I fought to get up on all fours so she wouldn’t scrape more of my
skin off on the bare rock. In order to do so, I had to take my gaze off her for
an instant. It was a mistake. She jerked me down with that strength that could
have torn a horse apart. Jerked me down, onto my stomach. I wedged an arm under
my body to keep me off the rocks. Then I saw that she still held the dagger. She pressed it to my cheek.
I gazed at her along the line of the blade. She was lying down, almost flat
against the rocks. “I’ll scar you,” she said. “Ruin that pretty face.” “Sholto is drowning.” “The sluagh cannot die by water. If he is sidhe enough to drown,
then let him.” “He loves you,” I said. She made a harsh sound that spattered her chin with more blood.
“Not as much as he loves the thought of sidhe flesh in his bed.” I couldn’t argue with that. The tip of her blade wavered above my cheek. “How much sidhe are
you? How well do you heal?” I thought it was a rhetorical question, so I didn’t answer it.
Would she die of her wounds before she hurt me, or would she heal? She coughed blood onto the stones, and it was as if she wondered
the same thing. She used her grip on my hair to force me onto my back, dragging
me closer as she did it. I couldn’t stop her—I could not fight against such
strength. She crawled on top of me and put her blade tip over my throat. I
grabbed her hand, wrapped both my hands around it, and still trembled with the
effort to hold her off me. “So weak,” she gasped above me. “Why do we follow the sidhe? If I
were not dying, you could not hold me off.” My voice came out tight with strain as I said, “I’m only part
sidhe.” “But you’re sidhe enough for him to want you,” she growled. “Glow
for me, sidhe! Show me that precious Seelie magic. Show me the magic that makes
us follow the sidhe.” Her words were fatal. She was right. I had magic. Magic that no one
else had. I called my hand of blood. As I summoned it, I tried not to think
about the fact that I could have done it sooner—before she hurt Sholto. I wielded the hand of blood. I could have made her bleed out from
just a tiny cut, and these were not tiny cuts. I started to glow under the
press of her body. My body shone through the blood she was dripping on me. I
whispered, “Not Seelie magic, Segna, Unseelie magic. Bleed for me.” She didn’t understand at first. She kept trying to shove the blade
into my throat, and I kept holding her just off me. She dug her hand into my
hair so that her claws raked my scalp, bloodied me. I called blood, and her
wounds gushed. The blood poured over me, hot—hotter than my own skin. I turned my
head away to keep my eyes clear of it. My hands grew slippery with her blood,
and I was afraid that her knife would slip past my defenses before I could
bleed her out. So much blood; it poured and poured and poured. Could a
night-hag bleed to death? Could they even be killed this way? I didn’t know, I
just didn’t know. The tip of her knife pierced my skin like a sharp bite. My arms
were shaking with the effort to keep her off me. I screamed, “Bleed for me!” I
spat her blood out of my mouth, and still her knife wormed another fraction
into my throat. Barely, barely below the skin—I wasn’t hurt yet, but I would be
soon. Then her hand hesitated, pulled backward. I blinked up at her
through a mask of her own blood. Her eyes were wide and startled. There was a
white spear sticking out through her throat. Sholto stood above her, bandages gone, his wound bare to the air,
both hands gripping the spear. He pulled the spear out with a wrenching motion.
A fountain of blood spilled out of her neck. I whispered, “Bleed.” She
collapsed in a pool of crimson, the knife still clasped in her hand. Sholto stood over her and drove the white spear into her back. She
spasmed underneath him, her mouth opening and closing, hands and feet
scrabbling at the bare rock. Only when she stopped moving completely did he take the spear out.
He stood swaying, but used the tip to send her dagger spinning into the lake.
Then he collapsed to his knees beside her, leaning on the spear like a crutch. By the time I staggered to him, I wasn’t glowing. I was tired, and
hurt, and covered in my enemy’s blood. I fell to my knees beside him on the
bloody rock, and I touched his shoulder, as if I wasn’t sure he was real. “I
saw you drown,” I said. He seemed to have trouble focusing on me, but said, “I am sidhe and
sluagh. We cannot die by drowning.” He coughed hard enough that he doubled
over, throwing up water onto the rock, as he clung to the white shaft of the
spear. “But it hurts as if it were death.” I embraced him, and he winced, covered in wounds new and old. I
held him more carefully, clinging to him, covering his upper body in Segna’s
blood. His voice came rough with coughing. “I’m holding the spear of bone.
It was one of the signs of kingship once for my people.” “Where did it come from?” I asked. “It was in the bottom of the lake, waiting for me.” “Where are we?” I asked. “It’s the Island of Bones. It used to be in the middle of our
garden, but it has become the stuff of legend.” I touched what I’d thought was rock, and found he was right. It was
rock, but the rock had once been bone. The island was made up of fossils. “It
feels awfully solid for a legend,” I said. He managed a smile. “What in the name of Danu is going on,
Meredith? What is happening?” I smelled roses, thick and sweet. He raised his head, looked around him. “I smell herbs.” “I smell roses,” I said, softly. He looked at me. “What is happening, Meredith? How did we get
here?” “I prayed.” He frowned at me. “I don’t understand.” The smell of roses grew thicker, as if I were standing in a summer
meadow. A chalice appeared in my hand, where it lay against Sholto’s naked
back. He startled away from the touch of it as if it had burned him. He
tried to turn too quickly, and it must have pained the open wound on his
stomach, for he winced, sucking in his breath sharply. He fell back onto his
side, the spear still gripped in one hand. I held up the gold-and-silver cup so that it caught the light. It
was really only then that it sank in that there was light here. It was
sunlight, glinting on the cup, and warm on my skin. For my life, I couldn’t remember if there had been sun a moment
ago. I might have asked Sholto, but he was focused on what was in my hand, and
whispered, “It can’t be what I think it is.” “It is the chalice.” He gave a small shake of his head. “How?” “I dreamt of it, as I dreamt of Abeloec’s horn cup, and when I woke
it was beside me.” He leaned heavily on the spear, and reached toward the shining cup.
I held it out toward him, but his fingers stopped just short of it, as if he
feared to touch it. His reluctance reminded me that things could happen if I touched
one of the men with the chalice. But weren’t we in vision? And if so, would
that hold true? I looked at Segna’s body, felt her blood drying on my skin. Was
this vision, or was it real? “And is not vision real?” came a woman’s voice. “Who said that?” Sholto asked. A figure appeared. She was hidden completely behind the grey of a
hooded cloak. She stood in the clear sunlight, but it was like looking at a
shadow—a shadow with nothing to give it form. “Do not fear the touch of the Goddess,” the figure said. “Who are you?” Sholto whispered. “Who do you think I am?” came the voice. In the past, she had
always either appeared more solid or been only a voice, a scent on the wind. Sholto licked his lips and whispered, “Goddess.” My hand rose of its own accord. I held the chalice out to him, but
it was as if someone else were moving my hand. “Touch the chalice,” I
whispered. He kept his grip on the spear, leaning on it, as he stretched out
his other hand. “What will happen when I touch it?” “I don’t know,” I said. “Then why do you want me to do it?” “She wants you to,” I said. He hesitated again with his fingers just above the shining surface.
The Goddess’s voice breathed around us with the scent of summer roses:
“Choose.” Sholto took in a sharp breath and blew it out, like a sprinter,
then touched the gold of the cup. I smelled herbs, as if I had brushed against
a border of thyme and lavender around my roses. A black-cloaked figure appeared
beside the grey. Taller, broader of shoulders, and somehow—even shrouded by the
cloak—male. As the cloak could not hide the Goddess’s femininity, so the cloak
could not hide the God’s masculinity. Sholto’s hand wrapped around the chalice, covering my hand with
his, so that we both held the cup. The voice came deep, and rich, and ever changing. I knew the voice
of the God, always male, but never the same. “You have spilled your blood,
risked your lives, killed on this ground,” he intoned. That dark hood turned
toward Sholto, and for a moment I thought I saw a chin, lips, but they changed
even as I saw them. It was dizzying. “What would you give to bring life back to
your people, Sholto?” “Anything,” he whispered. “Be careful what you offer,” the Goddess said, and her voice, too,
was every woman’s, and none. “I would give my life to save my people,” Sholto said. “I do not wish to take it,” I responded, because the Goddess had
offered me a similar choice once. Amatheon had bared his neck for a blade, so
that life could return to the land of faerie. I had refused, because there were
other ways to give life to the land. I was descended from fertility deities,
and I knew well that blood was not the only thing that made the grass grow. “This is not your choice,” she said to me. Was there a note of
sorrow in her voice? A dagger appeared in the air in front of Sholto. Its hilt and blade
were all white, and gleamed oddly in the light. Sholto’s hand left the chalice
and grabbed for the knife, almost by reflex. “The hilt is bone. It is the match
to the spear,” Sholto said, and there was soft wonder in his voice as he gazed
at the dagger. “Do you remember what the dagger was used for?” said the God. “It
was used to slay the old king. To spill his blood on this island,” Sholto
replied obediently. “Why?” the God asked. “This dagger is the heart of the sluagh, or was once.” “What does a heart need?” “Blood, and lives,” Sholto answered, as if he were taking a test. “You spilled blood and life on the island, but it is not alive.” Sholto shook his head. “Segna was not a suitable sacrifice for this
place. It needs a king’s blood.” He held the knife out toward the God’s shadowy
figure. “Spill my blood, take my life, bring the heart of the sluagh back to
life.” “You are the king, Sholto. If you die, who will take back the
spear, and bring the power back to your people?” I knelt there, the blood growing tacky on my skin. I cradled the
chalice in my hands, and had a bad feeling that I knew where this talk was
going. Sholto lowered the knife and asked, “What do you want of me, Lord?” The figure pointed at me. “There is royal blood to spill. Do it,
and the heart of the sluagh will live once more.” Sholto stared at me, the look on his face full of shock. I wondered
if my face had looked that way when the choice had been mine. “You mean for me
to kill Meredith?” “She is royal blood, a fit sacrifice for this place.” “No,” Sholto said. “You said you would do anything,” the Goddess said. “I can offer my life, but I cannot offer hers,” Sholto said. “It
isn’t mine to give.” His hand was mottled with the force of his grip on the
hilt of the knife. “You are king,” the God said. “A king tends his people, he doesn’t butcher them.” “You would condemn your people to a slow death for the life of one
woman?” Emotions chased over Sholto’s face, but finally he dropped the
knife on the rock. It rang as if it were the hardest metal rather than bone. “I
cannot, will not harm Meredith.” “Why will you not?” “She is not sluagh. She should not have to die to bring us back to
life. It is not her place.” “If she wishes to be queen over all of faerie, then she will be
sluagh.” “Then let her be queen. If she dies here, she will not be queen,
and that will leave us with only Cel. I would bring life back to the sluagh and
destroy all of faerie in one blow. She holds the chalice. The chalice, my lord.
The chalice after all these years is returned. I do not understand how you can
ask me to destroy the only hope we have.” “Is she your hope, Sholto?” the God asked. “Yes,” he whispered. There was so much emotion in that one word. The dark figure looked at the grey. The Goddess spoke. “There is no
fear in you, Meredith. Why not?” I tried to put it into words. “Sholto is right, my lady. The
chalice has returned to us, and magic is returning to the sidhe. You use my
body as your vessel. I do not think you would waste all that on one bloody
sacrifice.” I glanced at Sholto. “And I have felt his hand in mine. I have felt
his desire for me. I think it would destroy something in him to kill me. I do
not believe my God and Goddess so heartless as that.” “Does he love you then, Meredith?” “I do not know, but he loves the idea of holding me in his arms.
That I know.” “Do you love this woman, Sholto?” the God asked. Sholto opened his mouth, closed it, then said, “It is not a
gentleman’s place to answer such questions in front of a lady.” “This is a place for truth, Sholto.” “It’s all right, Sholto,” I said. “Answer true. I won’t hold it
against you.” “That’s what I’m afraid of,” he said softly. The look on his face made me laugh. The laughter echoed on the air
like the song of birds. “Joy will suffice to bring this place back to life,” the Goddess
said. “If you bring life to this place with joy, then you will change the
very heart of the sluagh. Do you understand that, Sholto?” the God said. “Not exactly.” “The heart of the sluagh is based on death, blood, combat, and
terror. Laughter, joy, and life will make a different heart for the sluagh.” “I am sorry, my lord, but I do not understand.” “Meredith,” the Goddess said, “explain it to him.” The Goddess was
beginning to fade, like a dream as dawn’s light steals through the window. “I do not understand,” Sholto said. “You are sluagh and Unseelie sidhe,” the God said; “you are a
creature of terror and darkness. It is what you are, but it is not all you
are.” With that, the dark shape began to fade, too. Sholto reached out to him. “Wait, I don’t understand.” The God and Goddess vanished, as if they’d never been, and the
sunlight dimmed with them. We were left in gloom. It was the twilight of the
underground of faerie these days—not the aberration of the momentous sunlight
that had bathed us moments ago. Sholto yelled, “My God, wait!” “Sholto,” I said. I had to say it twice more before he looked at
me. His face was stricken. “I don’t know what they want from me. What
am I to do? How do I bring the heart of my people back with joy?” I smiled at him, the mask of blood cracking with it. I had to clean
off this mess. “Oh, Sholto, you get your wish.” “My wish? What wish?” “Let me clean off some of this blood beforehand.” “Before what?” I touched his arm. “Sex, Sholto, they meant sex.” “What?” The look on his face, so astonished, made me laugh again.
The sound echoed across the lake, and again I thought I heard birdsong. “Did you hear that?” “I heard your laughter, like music.” “This place is ready to come back to life, Sholto, but if we use
laughter and joy and sex to make it happen, then it will be a different place
than it was before. Do you understand that?” “I’m not sure. We are going to have sex here, now?” “Yes. Let me wash off some of the blood, and then yes.” I wasn’t
sure he’d heard anything else I’d said. “Have you seen the new garden outside
the throne room doors in the Unseelie sithen?” He seemed to have to fight to concentrate, but finally he nodded.
“It’s a meadow with a stream now, not the torture area the queen had made of
it.” “Exactly,” I said. “It was a place of pain and now it’s a meadow
with butterflies and bunnies. I’m part Seelie Court, Sholto, do you understand
what I’m saying? That part of me will impact the magic we do here and now.” “What magic will we perform here and now?” he asked, smiling. He
was still leaning heavily on the spear, the raw wound of what the Seelie had
done to him bare to the air. I’d had enough of my own injuries to know that
just the touch of air hurt when the skin was abraded. The bone knife lay next
to Sholto’s knees. Truthfully, I’d thought it might vanish when the God and
Goddess went—for he had refused to use it for its true purpose. Nevertheless,
Sholto was still surrounded by major relics of the sluagh. He’d been visited by
deity. We knelt in a place of legend, with the possibility of bringing his
people to a rebirth of their powers. And all he seemed to be able to think of
was the fact that we might be having sex. I looked in his face. I tried to see past the almost shy
anticipation there. He seemed afraid to be too eager. He was a good king, yet
the promise of sex with another sidhe had chased all the cautions from his
mind. I could not allow him to leap in, though, until I was sure he understood
what might happen to his people. He had to understand or…or what? “Sholto,” I said. He reached out to me. I took his hand to keep him from touching my
face. “I need you to hear me, Sholto, to truly hear me.” “I will listen to anything you say.” He was willing to follow my lead. I’d noticed that about him in L.A.—that the dominant, frightening king of the sluagh became submissive in intimate
situations. Had Black Agnes taught him that, or Segna? Or was he just wired
that way? I patted his hand, more friendly than sexual. “What I bring to sex
magic is meadows and butterflies. Some of the corridors in the Unseelie mound
are turning to white marble with veins of gold.” His face became a little more serious, less amused. “Yes, the queen
was most upset,” he said. “She accused you of remaking her sithen in the image
of the Seelie Court.” “Exactly,” I said. His eyes widened. “I didn’t do it on purpose,” I said. “I don’t control what the
energy does with the sithen. Sex magic isn’t like other magicks—it’s wilder,
and has more a mind of its own.” “The sluagh are wild magic, Meredith.” “Yes, but wild sluagh and wild Seelie magic aren’t the same.” He turned my hand palm-up. “You bear the hand of flesh and the hand
of blood. Those are not Seelie powers.” “No. In combat I seem to be all Unseelie, but in sex magic it is
the Seelie in my blood that comes out. Do you understand what that might mean
for your sluagh?” All the light seemed to drain from his face, so somber now. “If we
have sex, and the sluagh are reborn, you might remake the sluagh in your
image.” “Yes,” I said. He stared at my hand as if he’d never seen it before. “If I had
taken your life, then the sluagh would have remained what they are: a terrible
darkness to sweep all before us. If we use sex to bring life back to my people,
then they may become more like the sidhe, or even the Seelie sidhe.” “Yes,” I said, “yes.” I was relieved that he finally understood. “Would it be so terrible if we were more sidhe?” He almost
whispered it, as if he spoke to himself. “You are their king, Sholto. Only you can make this choice for your
people.” “They would hate me for making this choice.” He stared at me. “But
what other choice is there? I will not spill your life away, not even to bring
life back to all of my kingdom.” He closed his eyes and let go of my hand. He
began to glow, soft, and white like the moon rising through his skin. He opened
his eyes, and the triple gold of his irises gleamed. He traced a glowing
fingertip across the palm of my hand, and it drew a line of cold white fire
across my skin. I shuddered from that small touch. He smiled. “I am sidhe, Meredith. I understand that now. I am
sluagh, too, but I am also sidhe. I want to be sidhe, Meredith. I want to be
fully sidhe. I want to know what it feels like to be what I am.” I drew my hand back from him, so I could think without the press of
his power against my skin. “You are king here. You must make this choice.” My
voice was a little hoarse. “It is no choice,” he said. “You dead, and lost to all of faerie—or
you in my arms? It is no choice.” He laughed then, and his laughter, too,
echoed across the lake. I heard chimes, or birds, or both. “Besides, Darkness
and Frost would kill me if I took you as a sacrifice.” “They would not slay the king of the sluagh and bring war to
faerie,” I said. “If you truly believe that their loyalties are still to faerie
rather than to you alone, then you do not see their eyes when they look at you.
Their vengeance would be terrible, Meredith. The fact that there are still
assassination attempts against you only shows that some of the sidhe do not yet
understand how short-leashed the queen has kept Darkness and Frost. Especially
Darkness,” he said, his voice going low. His face looked haunted. He shook the
thought away and looked back at me. “I have seen the Darkness hunt. If Hell
Hounds, Yeth Hounds, still existed among us, they would belong to the sluagh,
to the wild hunt, and the blood of that wild hunt still runs through Doyle’s
veins, Meredith.” “So you do not kill me for fear of Doyle and Frost?” He looked at me, and for a moment let the veil drop from those
glowing eyes. He let me see his need, such need, as if it should have been
carved in letters across the air. “It is not fear that impels me to spare your
life,” he whispered. I gave him a smile, and the chalice still gripped in my hand pulsed
once against my skin. The chalice would be part of what we did. “Let me wash
some of this blood away. Then I will put my glow against yours.” His own glow began to fade a little, his burning eyes cooling to as
normal as they ever got. It was hard to call his triple-gold irises normal,
even by sidhe standards, though. “I am hurt, Meredith. I would have had our
first time together be perfect. I’m not certain how much good I’m going to be
to you tonight.” “I’m hurt, too,” I said, “but we’ll both do our best.” I stood up
and found my body stiff with injuries I hadn’t even realized I’d suffered—small
wounds that I must have received in the fight. “I will not be able to make love the way you wish it,” he said. “How do you know what I wish?” I asked as I made my way slowly
across the rough and smooth of the rock. “You had quite an audience for Mistral’s turn with you. The rumors
have grown, but if even part of it is true, I will not be able to dominate you
as he did.” I slid into the water. It found every small cut and scrape. The
water was cool and soothing, but at the same time it made the wounds burn. “I
don’t want to be dominated right now, Sholto. Make love to me—let it be gentle
between us, if that is what we want.” He laughed again, and I heard bells. “I think gentle is all I’m
capable of tonight.” “I do not always want rough, Sholto. My tastes are more varied than
that.” I was shoulder-deep in the water now, trying to get the blood off me.
The blood began to dissolve in the water, washing away almost more easily than
it should have. “How varied are your tastes?” he asked. I smiled at him. “Very.” I dunked under the water in a bid to get
the blood off my face, out of my hair. I came up gasping, wiping the runnels of
pinkish water from my face. I went under two more times until the water ran
clear. Sholto was at the edge of the island when I came up the last time.
He was standing, using the spear like a crutch. The white knife was tucked
carefully through the cloth of his pants, the way you’d stick a pin through:
in, then out, so the point was exposed to the air. He offered me his hand. I
took it, though I could have gotten out by myself, and I knew that bending over
must hurt him. He lifted me out of the water, but his eyes never got to my face.
His gaze stayed on my body, my breasts, as the water ran down them. There are
women who would have taken offense, but I wasn’t one of them. In that moment he
wasn’t a king, he was a man—and that was just fine with me. SHOLTO LAY NAKED BEFORE ME. I’D NEVER SEEN HIM
LIKE THAT, lying naked, and waiting, knowing that we didn’t have to
stop. The first and only time I’d seen him completely nude he’d still had
extras. But he had used his own personal magic then to make his stomach look
like the perfect six-pack abs. Even to the touch, I hadn’t been able to feel
what I’d known was there. He was very good at personal glamour, but then he’d
spent years hiding that bit of deformity. Now he lay back, using his own pants as some small cushion against
the stone. The Seelie had skinned him from just below his ribs to just above
his groin. I’d seen the wound, but now it loomed larger. The pain must have
been a fearsome thing. He had laid the white spear and the bone knife to one side of him.
I had set the chalice on the other side of him. We would make love between the
chalice, symbol of the Goddess, and two symbols that were oh, so masculine. The air above his body wavered, like heat off a road, and the next
moment there was no wound. He was back to creating the illusion of that perfect
six-pack. Of all my lovers, only Rhys had it for real. “You don’t need to hide,
Sholto,” I said. “The look on your face is not the look I want to see the first time
we make love, Meredith.” “Take the glamour away, Sholto, let me truly see you.” “It is no more beautiful than what used to be there.” His voice was
sad. I touched the smooth skin of his shoulder. “You were beautiful. You
are beautiful.” He gave me a smile as sad as his tone. “Meredith, no lies, please.” I studied his face. He was as fair of face as Frost, who was one of
the most perfect men I’d ever seen. I said out loud, “The queen once called you
the most perfect sidhe body she had ever seen. You are wounded, you will heal;
it has not changed the perfection of you.” “The queen said that it was a pity that one of the most perfect
sidhe bodies she’d ever seen was ruined by such deformity.” Okay, maybe mentioning the queen’s words hadn’t been a good idea. I
tried again. I crawled to his face and leaned over to touch his lips with mine.
But it was a cold kiss, and he barely responded. I drew back. “What is wrong?” “In Los Angeles, even the sight of you clothed hardened my body.
Tonight I am weak.” I gazed down the long length of his body to find that he was still
soft, and as small as he got. He was one of those men that wasn’t truly small
even when soft; a shower, not a grower. I had magic in me that could bring a man to life, as it were, but
it was Seelie magic. I wanted to use less Seelie magic in this union, not more.
Although Sholto had made the decision to accept the risk, I feared for the
sluagh. I feared them losing their identity as a people. Of course, there were other ways to bring a man to life besides
magic. I crawled, carefully, on the bare rocks, until I knelt by his hip.
“You aren’t weak, Sholto, you’re hurt. There is no shame in that.” “To see you nude and not to react is shameful.” I gave him the smile he needed and said, “I think we can fix that.” “Magic?” he said, staring down his body at me. I shook my head. “No magic, Sholto, just this.” I traced my hand
over his thighs, reveling in the smooth skin. The fey didn’t have much body
hair, but I think the fact that he was part nightflyer—a creature that had no
hair—made him utterly smooth. Smooth as a woman and so soft, yet terribly male
from the bottoms of his feet to the top of his head. I traced along the inside
of his thighs and he spread them for me, so that I could sweep upward and touch
the silken skin between his legs. He was still soft and loose as I rolled those
delicate balls in my hand. The touch bowed his spine, sending his head back, eyes closed. But
with the pleasure came a sound of pain. The movement had hurt the butchered
skin across the middle of his body. What progress I’d made wilted in the face
of such pain. He threw his arm across his eyes and made a sound between a sob and
a yell. “I will be useless to you tonight, Meredith. I will be useless to my
people. I will not bring us back to life with death, and I cannot bring us back
with life.” “I would wait until you were healed, Sholto, if I could. But this
night is about bringing life back to faerie. Console yourself—we will have
other nights, or days. Other times, after you are healed, to do what we want to
do. Tonight, we do what we must.” He uncovered his eyes and gazed down at me. His face held such
despair. “I can’t think of any intercourse position that isn’t going to hurt
you, and you don’t like pain,” I said. “I did not say I did not like pain, but not this much.” I stored that away for future reference. “I know. There are limits
for most of us beyond which pain is just pain.” “I am sorry, Meredith, but I fear I have reached that point with
these wounds.” “We’ll see,” I said. I leaned back over his body until I could kiss
the front of him. I drew him, gently, into my mouth. The only other time I’d
had him in my mouth he had been long and hard, and eager. Tonight his body was
quiet, loose, and still. At first, I was almost impatient, but I let that go. This was not a
moment for impatience, or hurrying—this was Sholto’s first time with another
sidhe. This was one of his most treasured dreams, and he was coming to it hurt,
and not at his best. He’d probably fantasized this moment, and now none of his
fantasies was coming true. Reality was a harsher mistress than imagination. I let go of the impatience. I stopped wondering what Doyle and
Frost and the others must be thinking. I let go the thought that my powers were
growing and I had no idea what they would do next. I let all the worries go,
and gave myself over to this moment. I gave myself over to the sensation of him
in my mouth. I had been denied the chance to give oral sex to most of my lovers.
They didn’t want to risk spilling their seed anywhere but between my legs,
wasting a chance to father the next heir to the throne—a chance to make
themselves king to my queen. I didn’t blame them, but I loved oral sex, and I’d
missed performing it. The few times I’d been able to persuade anyone, he had
already been excited—big, hard, which was a pleasure all its own—but I liked
the feel of a man when he was small. So much easier to take all of him in my
mouth. No straining, no fighting all that length or width. I rolled him in my mouth, sucking gently, at first. But I wanted to
enjoy all the sensation I could while he remained small, so I increased in
intensity. I could feel him moving in my mouth, the skin sliding, the meat of
him so easy to work with. I sucked him fast and faster, until he cried out,
“Enough, enough.” I moved to the loose roll of his balls, licking along the skin,
sliding all that silkiness between my lips and tongue. I watched him grow
larger as I played with his balls. I rolled one testicle, carefully, into my
mouth so I could play with all of it. He was too big for me to try to take both
in at the same time; it would be too easy to injure such tender parts. The last
thing I wanted to do was cause him any new pain. His eyes were wild as they looked down his body at me. The gold of
his eyes started to glow—molten gold in the center, amber shot through with
sun, then a pale yellow-gold like elm leaves in fall. One moment his eyes were
all that glowed, and the next that light exploded down his body, as if white
light were liquid running just under his skin. His skin glowed even underneath
the red ruin, as if he were carved of rubies set in ivory, with the sun glowing
through the white and red of his body. I moved over his body, not with him inside, but with a knee on
either side of his hips. I gazed down at him, wanting to remember the beauty of
him the first time. The glow had spread to the tips of his hair, as if every
strand were dipped in moonlight. He was a thing of light and magic, but as I
used my hand to help slide him inside me, he was all silken skin, and muscle. I slipped the head of him inside me, and found I was almost too
tight. I’d performed all the foreplay on him, and received none for myself. I
was wet from the pleasure, but tight, so very tight. He managed to gasp out, “You’re not open enough.” “Is it hurting you?” My own voice sounded whispery. “No,” he whispered. “Then I want to feel you force your way into me. I want to feel
each inch push inside while I’m this tight.” I wriggled my hips a little lower,
fighting for each delicious inch. I was so tight that he touched every bit of
me, sliding heavy and slow over that spot inside me. I meant to have him inside me as deep as he’d go before my release,
but my body had other ideas. It was as if my body being so tight around his
made his body press just right, just exactly right against that one spot. One
moment I was trying to be so careful, easing him inside me, and the next I was
screaming my orgasm, my body bucking around his, the movement forcing more of
me down the shaft of him faster than I would have managed without it. And as
long as I could keep pushing him inside me the orgasm kept going. It kept on as
I shoved him inside me, and somewhere before the last inch of him went inside,
he started helping to push. I sat on top of him with our bodies wedded as close as man and
woman could be, the orgasm dancing me above him. I was aware, vaguely, that my
skin was glowing—a moon shine to match his own. The wind of my own power blew
my hair around my face, garnets sparkling in fire. My eyes glowed so brightly
that I could see the colored shadows of the green and gold of my own eyes at
the edges of my vision. I screamed and writhed above him on wave after wave of
pleasure. This had not been planned, or achieved with skill, but more by luck; a
key sliding into a lock at the perfect moment. Our bodies took that moment and
rode it. I heard him scream my name, felt his body buck under mine, felt him
drive himself home as hard and as fast as he could. He hit the end of me, and
that orgasmed me again. I threw my head back and screamed his name to the
heavens. He went still underneath me, but I couldn’t focus my eyes enough to
see him, not really. My vision ran in streamers of colors. I collapsed forward,
and forgot. Forgot that he was still hurt. Forgot that I was wearing the
queen’s ring on my right hand; the ring that had once belonged to a real
fertility goddess. I had a second to realize that the skin of his stomach under my
hands was no longer raw, but felt smooth and perfect. I blinked down, fighting
through pleasure’s afterglow to see him. His stomach was as flat and perfect as
his illusion once had been, but this was no illusion. He had his tentacles
back, but as a tattoo so bright and life-like that a glance made them seem
real. They were a picture, drawn upon his skin. I saw all that in three blinks of an eye, but there was no next
blink, for the ring suddenly came to life. It was like being plunged into water
with an electric current in it. It was not enough to kill, but enough to hurt. Sholto yelled under me, and not from pleasure. I tried to take the ring away from his body, but my hand seemed
glued to his newly decorated skin. The power blew out from us, as if the magic
spilled away over the bare rock. I could breathe again. Sholto gasped, “What was that?” “The ring.” He gazed down his body at me, and my hand pressed to his abdomen.
His fingers touched the tattoo, a look on his face of wonder, and of loss. It
was as if he’d been given his dearest wish, and in the same moment experienced
a loss that would haunt him forever. I heard metal rolling along rock. The sound made me turn. The
chalice was rolling toward us, though the ground was utterly flat. I looked to
the other side and found the spear of bone rolling from the other side. They
were going to touch us at the same time. “Hold on,” I said. “To what?” “To me.” He grabbed my arms, and my hand was freed from his stomach. I
grabbed his arms without thinking, putting the ring against his bare skin,
again. Sometimes Goddess pulls us by the hand down our path, and sometimes she
gets behind us and pushes off the cliff edge. We were about to be pushed. WOOD, METAL, FLESH; ALL OF IT HIT US AT ONCE.
WE WERE LEFT clinging to each other in the center of a blast of power
that splashed the lake up over the island. We drowned for a moment, then the
world literally moved. It felt as if the island bucked up and dropped down
again. The water cleared, the earth stopped moving, and the chalice and
spear were gone. We were left wet and gasping, huddled naked together. I was
afraid to let go, as if our arms around each other—our bodies still wedded
together—were all that kept us from falling off the face of the earth. Voices came, yells, shouts. I picked out Doyle’s voice, Frost, and
Agnes’s harsh call. The voices made us both turn, blinking water out of our
eyes. On the shore, which was a lot farther away than it had been before, were
all our guards. We were back in the dead gardens of the sluagh, but the lake
was full of water now, and the Island of Bones was in the middle of it. Doyle dived into the water, his dark body cutting the surface.
Frost followed him. The other guards did the same. Sholto’s uncles discarded
their cloaks and hit the water after my guards. Only Black Agnes stayed on the
shore. I looked down at Sholto; I was still on top of him. “We’re about to
be rescued.” He smiled up at me. “Do we need rescuing?” “I’m not sure,” I said. He laughed then, and the sound echoed against the bare stone of the
cavern. He hugged me tight, and laid a gentle kiss on my cheek. He breathed his
words against my skin: “Thank you, Meredith.” I pressed my cheek against his and whispered back, “You are most
welcome, Sholto.” He buried his hand in my wet hair and said, softly, “I have long
desired you to whisper my name like that.” “Like what?” I asked, face still pressed against his. “Like a lover.” I heard movement behind us, and Sholto released his hold on my
hair. I kissed him on the lips, before I lifted my body to see who had made the
island first. Doyle—of course it was Doyle—walked toward us. He gleamed black and
shining, water dripping down his nakedness. The light caught blue and purple
gleams from his skin as he moved toward us. The light seemed to dazzle on his
skin and on the water—reflected brilliance. My skin was warm in the light.
Sunlight, it was sunlight again. Like noonday come to this shadowy place. There was a green haze to the bare rock where Sholto and I lay.
That haze took the shape of tiny stems, reaching out over the rock, anchoring
themselves as Doyle came to stand beside us. His face struggled for an expression, and finally settled on that
stern face, the one that had frightened me as a child when he stood at my
aunt’s side. Somehow the expression wasn’t nearly as frightening with him naked,
and given my now so intimate knowledge of him. The Queen’s Darkness was my
lover, and I could never again see him as that threatening figure, simply the
queen’s assassin, her black dog to fetch and kill. I stared up at him, still pressed tight in Sholto’s arms. I sat up,
and his arms fell away from me, reluctantly. Since I was still riding his body,
it wasn’t as if he stopped touching me. His hands slid down my arms, staying in
contact. I glanced at Sholto’s face and found him looking not at me, but at
Doyle. Sholto’s face was defiant, almost triumphant. I didn’t understand
the look. I glanced at Doyle, and saw behind that stern face a flash of anger.
For the first time in weeks I remembered how they had both found me in Los Angeles. They had fought, both convinced that the queen had sent each of them to kill
me. But there had been something personal about that fight. I couldn’t
remember what they had said to each other that made me think they had some kind
of bad history, but I had felt it. The looks they gave each other now confirmed
that I was missing something. Some disagreement, or challenge, or even grudge
between these two men. Not good. Rhys came up the slope of the rock, dripping like wet ivory. He
stopped short of us all, as if he also sensed, or saw, the tension. What do you do when you’re naked with one lover, and another lover
is standing there? Sholto was not my king, or husband. I took my hand from him
and offered it to Doyle. Doyle hesitated a moment, his gaze on his rival and
not on me. Then those black eyes moved to me. His expression never truly
changed, but some breath of harshness left him. Or perhaps some touch of
gentleness returned to him. There was movement behind him, and Frost and Mistral struggled up
the slope. They were dressed, and weapons bulged everywhere. Frost actually
caught Mistral’s arm as the other man slipped. The clothes and weapons had
slowed them down. Now they stood there, Frost’s hand on Mistral’s arm. Mistral was
almost on his knees, from his slip, but they had frozen, staring at us. They
hadn’t just caught a whiff of tension. Their reaction said clearly that there
was bad blood between Sholto and Doyle. Doyle took my hand in his. The moment he touched me the tightness
in my chest, which I hadn’t even known was there, loosened. He lifted me upward, off the other man. Sholto’s hands, all of his
body, let me go with such reluctance. The sensation of him drawing out of deep
within my body shivered through me. Only Doyle’s grip kept my knees from
buckling. Sholto raised his arms to help catch me, his hands on my thighs.
Doyle pulled me in against his body, half lifting me over Sholto’s body. Sholto
let me go; otherwise it would have been like a tug-of-war, not seemly behavior
for a king. I stood there wrapped in Doyle’s arms, staring up at his face,
trying to decipher what he was thinking. Around me the tiny plants unfurled
tiny leaves, and the world suddenly smelled of thyme, that sweet, green herb
scent that Sholto had said he sensed when I was smelling roses. The delicate herbs tickled along my foot, as if reminding me that
there were some things more important than love. Staring up into Doyle’s face,
I wasn’t sure that was right. In that moment I wanted him happy. I wanted him
to know that I wanted him happy. I wanted to explain that Sholto had been
lovely, and the power had been immense, but that in the end, he meant nothing
to me, not when I had Doyle’s arms around me. But you can’t say that out loud, not with the other man lying
behind you. So many hearts to juggle, including my own. The herbs touched me again, wound around my ankle. I glanced down
at the greenery, and thought of my favorite thymes. My gran had grown them in
the herb garden behind the house where my father raised me—so many varieties.
Lemon thyme, silver thyme, golden thyme. At that thought, the plants around my
ankle were suddenly tinged with yellow. Some of the leaves on some of the
plants turned silver, others became pale yellow, and some that bright sunny
yellow. There was a scent of faint lemon on the air, as if I had crushed one of
the pale yellow leaves between my fingertips. “What did you do?” Doyle whispered, his deep voice thrumming along
my spine so that I shivered against him. My voice was soft, as if I didn’t want to say it too loudly: “I just
thought that there is more than one kind of thyme.” “And the plants changed,” he said. I nodded, staring at them. “I didn’t say it out loud, Doyle. I only
thought it.” He hugged me. “I know.” Mistral and Frost were with Rhys now. They did not approach us, and
again I wasn’t sure why. They waited, as if they needed permission to come
closer—the way they would have waited to approach Queen Andais. I thought it was me they waited on, but I should have known better.
Sholto said behind me, “The sidhe do not usually stand on ceremony, but if you
need permission, then I give it. Come closer.” Mistral said, “If you could see yourself, King Sholto, you would
not ask why we stand on ceremony.” The comment made me look back at Sholto. He was sitting up, but
where he had been lying was an outline of herbs. Peppermint, basil—as I
recognized them, I smelled their perfumes. But the herbs spreading out from
where he had lain, where we had lain, wasn’t what made the men stop. Sholto was
wearing a crown; a crown of herbs. Even as we watched, the delicate plants wove
like living fingers through his hair, creating a wreath of thyme and mint. Only
the most delicate of the plants, entwining themselves as we watched. He raised a hand, and the moving plants touched his fingers as they
had touched my ankle. I was wearing an anklet of living thyme, gold-flecked
leaves, smelling of green life and lemons. The tendril wrapped around his
fingers like a happy pet. He lowered his hand and stared at it. The plant wove
itself into a ring as we watched—a ring that bloomed on his hand, the delicate
spray of white blossoms more precious than any jewel. Then his crown burst into
bloom, shades of white, blue, lavender. Finally, the blooms spread across the
island, so that the ground was nearly solid with tiny, airy flowers, moving not
in a breeze—for there was none—but nodding as if the flowers were speaking to
one another. “A crown of flowers is not a crown for the king of the sluagh!”
Agnes shouted, harsh, from the shore. She was on hands and knees, hidden
completely under her black cloak. I saw the flash of her eyes, as if there was
a glow to them; then she lowered her head, hiding from the light. She was a
night-hag. They didn’t travel at noon. Ivar spoke, but I couldn’t see him. “Sholto, King, we cannot
approach you in this burning light.” His uncles were half-goblin—which, depending on the type of goblin,
might make sunlight a problem. But they were also half-night-flyer, and that
definitely made sunlight a problem. “I would that you could come to me, Uncles,” Sholto said. Doyle’s arms tightened around me, a warning. “Be careful what you
say, Sholto; you do not understand the power of the words of someone whom
faerie itself has crowned.” “I do not need advice from you, Darkness,” Sholto said, and again
there was bitterness in his voice. The sunlight faded, and a soft twilight began to fall. There was
the sound of splashing, then Ivar and Fyfe came up upon the island. They were
nude except for enough clothing to hold their weapons. They fell to one knee
before him, heads bowed. “King Sholto,” Ivar said, “we thank you for sending
the light away.” Sholto said, “I didn’t…” “You are crowned by faerie,” Doyle said again. “Your words, perhaps
even your thoughts, will shape what will happen this night.” I said, “I thought—only thought—that there is more than one variety
of thyme, and it changed the herbs. What I thought about became real, Sholto.” Agnes called from the shore, “You have freed us from the light,
King Sholto. You have given us back the Lost Lake and the Island of Bones. Will you stop there, or will you give us back our power? Will you remake the sluagh
while the magic of creation still burns through you, or will you hesitate and
lose this chance to bring us back into ourselves?” “The hag is right, Your Highness,” Fyfe said. “You have brought us
back the magic of making, wild magic, creation magic. Will you use it for us?” In the dying light I watched Sholto lick his lips. “What would you
have of me?” he asked carefully. I heard in his voice what was beginning to be
in my mind, a touch of fear. You could police your words, but policing your own
thoughts—that was harder, so much harder. “Call the wild magic,” Ivar said. “It is here already,” Doyle said, “can you not feel it?” His heart
sped under my cheek. I wasn’t sure I understood exactly what was happening, but
Doyle seemed both frightened and excited. Even his body was beginning to react,
pressed against the front of mine. The two kneeling figures looked at Doyle. “Do not look to
Darkness,” Sholto said. “I am king here.” They looked back at him, and bowed again. “You are our king,” said
Ivar. “But there are places we cannot follow you. If the wild magic is real
again, then you have two choices, king of ours: You can remake us into a thing
of flowered crowns and noonday suns, or you can call the old magic, and remake
us into what we once were.” “Darkness is right,” Fyfe said. “I can feel it like a growing
weight inside me. You can change us into what she wants us to be”—he pointed at
me—“or you can give us back what we have lost.” Sholto then asked something that made me think even better of him
than I already did. “What would you have of me, Uncles, what would you have me
do?” They glanced first at him, then at each other, then carefully down
at the ground again. “We want to be what we once were. We want to hunt as we
once did. Give us back what has been lost, Sholto.” Ivar held out his hand
toward his king. “Do not remake us in the sidhe bitch’s image,” Agnes yelled from
the shore. It was a mistake. Sholto yelled back at her, “I am king here. I rule here. I thought
you loved me once. But I know now that you only raised me to take the throne
because you wished to sit upon it. You cannot rule, but you thought you could
rule through me. You and your sisters thought to make me your puppet.” He stood
and screamed at her. “I am no one’s puppet. I am King Sholto of the Sluagh, I
am the Lord of That Which Passes Between, Lord of Shadows. Long have I been
lonely among my own people. Long have I wanted some to look as I do.” He
slammed a hand into his chest. It made a thick, meaty sound. “Now you tell me I
have the power to do just that. You have envied the sidhe their smooth skin,
their beauty that turns my head. So have what you envy.” A wail came from Agnes, but it was too dark to see what was
happening on the shore. She screamed, a horrible sound—a sound of loss, and
pain, as if whatever was happening to her hurt. I heard Sholto say, softly, “Agnes.” The sound in that one word let
me know that he wasn’t so terribly certain of what he wanted, or what he had
done. What had he done? His uncles abased themselves, faces pressed to the herbs. “Please,
King Sholto, we beg you, do not remake us into sidhe. Do not make us only
lesser versions of the Unseelie. We are sluagh, and that is a proud thing.
Would you strip us of all that we have kept over the years?” “No,” Sholto said, and there was no anger in his voice now. The
screams from the shore had taken away his anger. He understood now how
dangerous he was in this moment. “I want the sluagh to be powerful again. I
want us to be a force to be reckoned with, negotiated with. I want us to be a
fearsome thing.” I spoke before I could think: “Not just fearsome, surely.” “I want us to have a terrible beauty then,” he said, and it was as
if the world held its breath, as if the whole of faerie had been waiting for
him to say those words. I felt it in the pit of my stomach like the chime of a
great bell. It was a beautiful sound, but so large, so heavy, that it could
crush you with the music of its voice. “What have you done?” Doyle asked, and I wasn’t sure whom he had
asked it of. Sholto answered him. “What I had to do.” He stood there, stark and
pale in the growing dark. The tattoo of his tentacles glowed as if outlined with
phosphorus. The flowers of his crown looked ghostly pale, and I thought they
would have attracted honeybees, if it had not been dark. Bees are not nighttime
creatures. The darkness began to lighten. “What did you just think of?” Doyle
asked. “That if the sunlight had remained, there would have been bees to
feed on the flowers.” “No, it will be night here,” Sholto said, and the darkness began to
thicken again. I tried for a more neutral thought. What could come to his flowers
in the dark? Moths appeared among the flowers, small ones, ones to match the
moth on my stomach. Small flashes of light showed above the island, as if
jewels had been thrown into the air. Fireflies, dozens of them, so that they
actually glowed enough to drive back some of the dark. “Did you call them?” Sholto said. “Yes,” I said. “You raised the wild magic together,” Ivar said. “She is not sluagh,” Fyfe said. “But she is queen to his king for tonight; the magic is hers, as
well,” Ivar said. “Will you fight me for the heart of my people, Meredith?” Sholto
said. “I will try not to,” I said softly. “I rule here, Meredith, not you.” “I do not want to take your throne, Sholto. But I can’t help being
what I am.” “What are you?” “I am sidhe.” “Then if you are sidhe and not sluagh, run.” “What?” I asked, trying to move a little away from Doyle and closer
to Sholto. Doyle held me tight and wouldn’t let me do it. “Run,” Sholto said again. “Why?” I asked. “I am going to call the wild hunt, Meredith. If you are not sluagh,
then you will be prey.” “No, Sholto! Let us take the princess to safety first, I beg this
of you,” Doyle said urgently. “The Darkness does not usually beg. I am flattered, but if she can
call back the sun to drive away the night, I must call the hunt now. She must
be the prey. You know that.” I was startled. Was this the same man who had refused to sacrifice
me just moments ago? Who had looked on me with such tenderness? The magic was
indeed working powerfully in him, to make this change. Rhys’s voice came, cautious: “You wear a crown of flowers, King
Sholto. Are you so certain that the wild hunt will recognize you as sluagh?” “I am their king.” “You look sidhe enough to be welcome in the queen’s bed right now,”
Rhys said. Sholto touched his flat stomach with its healed flesh and tattoo.
He hesitated, then shook his head. “I will call the wild magic. I will call the
hunt. If they see me as prey and not as sluagh, then so be it.” He smiled, and
even in the uncertain light it didn’t look particularly happy. He laughed, and
the night echoed with it. There was the call of some sweet-voiced bird, sleepy
from the distant shore. Sholto spoke again. “It is a long tradition among us, Lord Rhys, to
slay our kings to bring back life to the land. If by my life, or my death, I
can bring my people back to their power, I will do it.” “Sholto,” I said, “don’t. Don’t say that.” “It is done,” he said. Doyle started moving us toward the other side of the island. “Short
of killing him, we cannot stop him,” he told me. “You both reek of the oldest
of magicks. I am not certain that he can be killed right now.” “We need to leave then,” Rhys said. Abeloec was finally pulling himself up on the shore. He still had
his cup in his hand, and it seemed as if the weight of it had kept him from
coming sooner. “Don’t tell me I have to get back in the lake,” he said. “If
she’s touched with the magic of creation, let her create a bridge.” I didn’t wait. I said, “I want a bridge to the shore.” A graceful
white bridge appeared, just like that. “Cool,” Rhys said. “Let’s go.” Sholto spoke in a ringing voice. “I call the wild hunt, by Herne
and huntsman, by horn and hound, by wind and storm, and wreck of winter, I call
us home.” The dark near the roof of the cavern split open as if someone had
cut it with a knife. It split open and things boiled out of it. Doyle turned my face away and said, “Do not look back.” He began to
run, dragging me with him. We all began to run. Only Sholto and his uncles
stayed on the island as the night itself ripped open and poured nightmares
behind us. WE MADE THE FAR SHORE, BUT I TRIPPED ON A
SKELETON buried in the ground. Doyle picked me up and kept running.
Gunshots echoed, and I saw Frost firing at Agnes as she threw herself on top of
him. I had a glimpse of her face; something was wrong with it, as if her bones
were sliding around under her skin. I screamed, “Frost,” as a glint of metal
showed in her hand. More shots sounded. Mistral was beside Frost, blades
flashing. “Doyle, stop!” I shouted. He ignored me, and kept running with me in his arms. Abe and Rhys
were with him. “We can’t leave Frost behind!” I said. Doyle said, “We cannot risk you, not for anyone.” “Call a door,” Abe said. Doyle glanced behind us, but not at Mistral and Frost’s fight with
the night-hag. He glanced higher than that. It made me look up, too. At first my eyes perceived clouds, black and grey rolling clouds,
or smoke—but that was only my mind trying to make sense of it. I thought I had
seen all the sluagh had to offer, but I was wrong. What was pouring down toward
the island where Sholto stood was nothing my mind could accept. When I worked
for the investigative agency…sometimes at a crime scene—if it’s bad
enough—sometimes your mind refuses to make an image out of it. It’s just a
jumble. Your mind gives you a moment to not see this horrible thing. If you
have the chance to close your eyes and not look a second time, you can save
yourself. This horror will not go into your mind and stain your soul. At most
crime scenes I didn’t have the choice of not seeing. But this; I looked away.
If we didn’t get away, then I’d have to look. We had to get away. Doyle yelled, “Don’t look. Call the door.” I did what he asked. “I need a door to the Unseelie sithen.” The
door appeared, hanging in the middle of nowhere, just like before. “No doors,” Sholto screamed behind us. The door vanished. Rhys cursed. Frost and Mistral were with us now. There was blood on their
swords. I glanced back at the shore, and saw Agnes—a dark, still shape on the
ground. Doyle started running again, and the others joined us. “Call
something else,” Abe said, near breathless trying to keep up with Doyle’s pace.
“And do it quietly, so Sholto can’t hear what you’re doing.” “What?” I asked. “You have the power of creation,” he panted. “Use it.” “How?” My brain wasn’t working under the pressure. “Conjure something,” he said, and stumbled, falling. He rejoined
us, blood pouring down his chest from a new cut. “Let the ground be grass and gentle to our feet.” Grass flowed at
our feet like green water. It didn’t spread over everything like the herbs on
the island. The grass sprang up in a path where we ran, and nowhere else. “Try something else,” Rhys said from the other side of us. He was
shorter than the rest, and his voice showed the strain of keeping up with the longer
legs of the others. What could I call from the ground, from the grass, that could save
us? I thought it and had my answer; one of the most magical of plants. “Give me
a field of four-leaf clover.” The grass spread out before us wide and smooth,
then white clover began to grow through the grass, until we stood in the center
of a field of it. White globes of sweet-smelling flowers burst like stars
across all the green. Doyle slowed, and the others slowed with him. Rhys said it out
loud: “Not bad, not bad at all. You think well in a crisis.” “The wild hunt is of ill intent,” Frost said. “They should be
stopped at the field’s edge.” Doyle sat me down amid the ankle-high clover. The plants brushed
against me as if they were little hands. “Four-leaf clover is the most powerful
plant protection from faerie,” I said. “Aye,” Abe said, “but some of what is coming does not have to walk,
Princess.” “Make us a roof, Meredith,” Doyle said. “A roof of what?” “Rowan, thorn, and ash,” Frost said. “Of course,” I said. Anywhere that the three trees grew together
was a magical place—a place both of protection and of a weakening in the
reality between worlds. Such a place would save you from faerie, or call faerie
to you—like so many things with us, there was never a yes, or no, but a yes, a
no, and a sometimes. The earth underneath us trembled as if an earthquake were coming;
then the trees blasted out of the ground, showering rock and dirt and clover
over us. The trees stretched to the sky with a sound like a storm or a train,
barreling down, but with a scream of wood to it. It was like nothing I’d ever
heard before. While the trees knit themselves together above our heads, I
looked back. I could not help it. Sholto was covered in the nightmares he had called. Tentacles writhed;
bits and pieces that I had no word for flowed and struck. There were teeth
everywhere, as if wind could be made solid and given fangs to tear and destroy.
Sholto’s uncles attacked the creatures with blade and muscle, but they were
losing. Losing, but fighting hard enough that they had given us time to make
our sanctuary. Frost moved to stand so that his broad chest blocked my view. “It
is not good to gaze too long upon them.” There was a bloody furrow down one
side of his face, as if Agnes had tried to claw his eyes out. I made as if to
touch the wound, and he pulled away, catching my hand in his. “I will heal.” He didn’t want me to fuss over him in front of Mistral. If it had
just been Doyle and Rhys, he might have allowed it. But he would not have Mistral
see him weak. I wasn’t sure how he felt about Abe, but I knew he viewed Mistral
as a threat. Men don’t like to look weak in front of their rivals. Whatever I
thought of Mistral, that was how Frost and Doyle saw him. I took Frost’s hand and tried not to act concerned about his
wounds. “He called the hunt. Why are they attacking him?” I asked. “I warned him that he looked too sidhe,” Rhys said. “I wasn’t
saying that just to stop him from doing something dangerous to us.” Something warm dripped over my hand. I looked down to find Frost’s
blood painting my skin. I fought the spurt of panic and asked calmly, “How
badly are you hurt?” The blood was coming steadily—not good. “I will heal,” Frost said, voice tight. The trees closed overhead with a sound like the ocean waves rushing
along a shore. Leaves tore and rained down on us as the branches wove a shield
of leaves, thorns, and bright red berries above. The shadow it cast made
Frost’s skin look grey for a moment, and it frightened me. “You heal gunshot wounds if the bullet goes through and through.
You heal nonmagical blades. But Black Agnes was a night-hag and once a goddess.
Is your wound of blade, or claw?” Frost tried to take his hand back, but I wouldn’t let him. Unless
he wanted to be appear undignified, he couldn’t break free. Our hands were
covered in his blood, sticky and warm. Doyle was at Frost’s side. “How badly are you hurt?” “We do not have time to tend my wounds,” Frost said. He wouldn’t
look at Doyle, or any of us. He arranged his face in that arrogant mask, the
one that made him impossibly handsome, and as cold as his namesake. But the
terrible wounds on the right side of that face ruined the mask. It was like a
chink in armor; he could not hide behind it. “Nor do we have time to lose my strong right arm,” Doyle said, “not
if there is time to save it.” Frost looked at him, surprise showing through the mask. I wondered
if Doyle had never, in all these long years, called Frost the strong right arm
of the Darkness. The look on his face suggested so. And maybe it was as close
as Doyle would come to apologizing for abandoning him to the fight with Agnes
in order to save me. Had Frost thought Doyle left him behind on purpose? A world of emotion seemed to pass between the two men. If they’d
been human men, they might have exchanged some profanity or sports metaphor,
which is what seems to pass for terms of deepest affection between friends. But
they were who they were, and Doyle said, simply, “Remove enough weapons so we
can see the wound.” He smiled when he said it, because of all the guards Frost
would be the one carrying the most weapons, with Mistral a distant second. “Whatever you’re going to do, do it fast,” Rhys said. We all looked at him, and then beyond him. The air boiled black,
grey, white, and horrible. The hunt was coming toward us like a ribbon of
nightmares. It took my eyes a moment to find Sholto on the island. He was a
small, pale figure running—running full out—with that sidhe swiftness. But fast
as he was, he wouldn’t be fast enough—what chased him moved with the swiftness
of birds, of wind, of water. It was like trying to outrun the wind; you just
couldn’t do it. Doyle turned back to Frost. “Take off your jacket. I’ll make a
compress. We’re not going to have time for more.” I glanced back toward the island. Sholto’s guards, his uncles,
tried to buy him time. They offered themselves as a sacrifice to slow the hunt.
It worked, for a while. Some of that fearful boil of shapes slowed and covered
them. I think I heard one of them scream over the high bird-like chittering of
the creatures. But most of the wild hunt stayed on target. That target was
Sholto. He crossed the bridge and kept running. “Goddess help us,” Rhys
said, “he’s coming here.” “He finally understands what he’s called into being,” Mistral said.
“He runs in terror now. He runs to the only sanctuary he can see.” “We stand in the middle of four-leaf clovers, rowan, ash, and
thorn. The wild hunt cannot touch us here,” I said, but my voice was soft, and
didn’t hold the certainty I wished it had. Doyle had ripped Frost’s shirt away and torn Frost’s own jacket
into pieces small enough to be used as compresses. “How bad is it?” I asked. Doyle shook his head, pressing the cloth in an area that seemed to
run under Frost’s arm and into his shoulder. “Get us out of here, Meredith. I
will tend Frost. But only you can get us out.” “The wild hunt will pass us by,” I said. “We stand in the middle of
things that they cannot pass through.” “If we were not its prey, then I would agree,” Doyle said. He was
trying to get Frost to lie down on the clover, but the other man was arguing.
Doyle pressed harder on the wound, which made Frost draw a sharp breath. He
continued, “But Sholto told us to run, if we were sidhe. He has conjured it to
hunt us.” I started to turn away, but couldn’t quite tear my eyes from Frost.
Once he had been the Killing Frost: cold, frightening, arrogant, untouched, and
untouchable. Now he was Frost, and he wasn’t frightening, or cold, and I knew
the touch of his body in almost every possible way. I wanted to go to him, to
hold his hand while Doyle tended his wound. “Merry,” Doyle said, “if you do not get us out of here, Frost will
not be the only one hurt.” I caught Frost’s gaze. Pain, I saw there, but also something
hopeful, or good. I think he liked that I was so worried about him. “Get us
out, Merry,” Frost said between gritted teeth. “I am fine.” I didn’t call him a liar, but I did turn away so I couldn’t watch.
It would have distracted me too much, and I didn’t have time to be weak. “I need a door to the Unseelie Court.” I said it clearly, but
nothing happened. “Try again,” Rhys said. I tried again, and again nothing happened. “Sholto said No doors,” Mistral said. “Apparently his word
stands.” Sholto’s feet had touched the edge of the field I’d made. He was
only yards away from the first of the clover. The air above him was thick with
tentacles and mouths and claws. I looked away from it, because I couldn’t think
while I was staring into it. “Call something else,” Abe said. “What?” I asked. It was Rhys who said, “Where rowan, ash, and thorn grow close
together, the veil between worlds is thinner.” I looked up at the circle of trees that I’d called into being.
Their branches had formed a lace of roof above us. They still hushed and moved
above us the way the roses in the Unseelie Court moved, as if they had more
life than an ordinary tree. I began to walk the inside of the circle of trees, searching not
with my hands, but with that part of me that sensed magic. Most human psychics
have to do something to get themselves in the mood for magic, but I had to
shield constantly not to be overwhelmed by it. Especially in faerie—there was
so much of it that it became like the engine noise of some great ship, and you
ceased to “hear” it after a while, though it was always there thrumming along
your skin, making your bones vibrate to its rhythm. I reached out from behind those shields and searched for a place in
the trees that felt…thin. I couldn’t look simply for magic; there was too much
of it around me. Too much power flowing toward us. I needed to cast out for
something more specific. “The clover has slowed them,” Mistral called. This made me glance back, away from the trees. The cloud of
nightmares rolled above the clover like a pack of hounds that had lost the
scent. Sholto just kept running, his hair flying behind him, the nude
beauty of him beautiful in motion, like watching a horse run across a field. It
was a beauty that transcended sex; simply beautiful for its own sake. “Concentrate, Merry,” Rhys said. “I’ll help you look for a door.” I nodded and went back to looking only at the trees. They thrummed
with power, inherently magical and invested with further power because they had
been called into being by one of the oldest magicks. Rhys called from across the clearing. “Here!” I ran to him, the clover tapping at my legs and feet as if patting
me with soft green hands. I passed Frost on the ground, where Doyle sat holding
his wound. Frost was hurt, very hurt, but there was no time to help—Doyle would
take care of him. I had to take care of us all. Rhys was standing by a group of three of the trees that looked no
different from the others, really. But when I put my hand out toward them, it
was as if reality had been rubbed thin here, like a good-luck penny rubbed in
your pocket. “You feel it?” Rhys asked. I nodded. “How do we open it?” “You just walk through,” Rhys said. He looked back at the others.
“Everybody gather around. We need to walk through together.” “Why?” I asked. He grinned at me. “Because naturally occurring doorways like this
don’t lead to the same place every time. It’d be bad if we were separated.” “Bad’s one way of putting it,” I said. Doyle had to help Frost to his feet. Even so, he stumbled. Abe came
and offered his shoulder to lean on, still grasping the horn cup in one hand,
as if it was the most important thing in the world. It occurred to me then that
the Goddess’s chalice had gone back to wherever it went when it wasn’t mucking
about with me. I had never held on to it the way Abe did with his, but then, I
had been afraid of its power. Abe wasn’t afraid of his cup’s power; he was
afraid of losing it again. Mistral was backing toward us. “Are we waiting for the Lord of
Shadows or leaving him to his fate?” It took me a second to realize he meant Sholto. I looked toward the
lake. Sholto was almost here, almost to the tree line. The sky behind him was
totally black, as if the father of all storms was about to break, except that
instead of lightning there were tentacles, and mouths that shrieked. “He can escape the same way,” Rhys said. “The door won’t close
behind us.” I looked at him. “Don’t we want it to?” “I don’t know if we can close it, but if we can, Merry, he would be
trapped.” There was a very serious look in his one eye—a measuring look. It was
the look that I was beginning to dread from all the men. A look that said: The
decision is yours. Could I leave Sholto to die? He had called the wild hunt. He’d
offered himself as prey. He’d trapped us here with his no doors. Did I
owe him? I looked at what chased him. “I couldn’t leave anyone to that.” “So be it,” Doyle said from beside me. “But we can go through ahead of him,” Mistral said. “We don’t have
to wait.” “You’re sure he’ll sense the door?” I asked. Everyone answered at once. Mistral said, “Yes.” Rhys said,
“Probably.” Doyle and Frost said, “I do not know.” Abe just shrugged. I shook my head and whispered, “Goddess guide me, but I can’t leave
him. I can still taste his skin on my mouth.” I stepped in front of the men, closer
to the farther edge of the trees. I yelled, “Sholto, we’re leaving, hurry,
hurry!” He stumbled, fell in the clover, and rolled to his feet again in a
blur of motion. He dived through the trees, and I thought he’d made it, but
something long and white whipped around his ankle just before it cleared the
magical circle. It caught him in that instant when his body was airborne, not
touching the clover, not inside the trees. The tentacle tried to lift him
skyward, but his hands reached desperately for the trees. He caught a limb with
his hands, and he was left suspended, feet above the ground. I was running forward before I had time to think. I don’t know what
I planned to do when I got there, but I didn’t have to worry, because a blur of
movement rushed past me. Mistral and Doyle were there before me. Doyle had Frost’s sword in his hands. He leapt into the air in an
impossibly graceful arc, and cut the tentacle in two. I smelled ozone a second
before lightning crashed from Mistral’s hand. The lightning hit the cloud and
seemed to bounce from one creature to another, illuminating them. It was too
much light. I screamed and covered my eyes, but it was as if the images were
carved inside my lids. Strong hands were on mine, pulling my hands away from my eyes. I kept
my eyes tight shut, and Doyle’s deep voice came. “Clawing your eyes out won’t
help, Meredith. It’s inside you now. You can’t unsee it.” I opened my mouth and screamed. I screamed and screamed and
screamed. Doyle picked me up in his arms and started running toward the others.
I knew Mistral and Sholto were behind us. Whimpers replaced my screams—I have
no words for what I’d seen. They were things that should not have been. Things
that could not have been alive, but they had moved. I had seen them. If I had been alone, I would have fallen to the ground and shrieked
until the wild hunt caught me. Instead I clung to Doyle and buried my nose and
mouth against the curve of his neck, keeping my eyes fixed on the clover, and
the trees, and my men. I wanted to replace the images that were burned inside
me—it was as if I had to clean my eyes of the sight of the hunt. I breathed in
the scent of Doyle’s neck, his hair, and it helped calm me. He was real, and
solid, and I was safe in his arms. Rhys moved to help Abe with Frost. Doyle still had Frost’s sword
naked and bloody in his hand, held away from me. The blood smelled the way all
blood smells: red, slightly metallic, sweet. If these creatures bled real
blood, then they couldn’t be what I had seen; they weren’t nightmares. What I
had seen in that lightning-kissed moment was nothing that would ever bleed real
blood. Doyle told Mistral to enter first, because we didn’t know where the
doorway led. The Storm Lord didn’t argue, he just did what he was told. All of
us, including Sholto, followed his broad back between the trees. One moment we
were in the clover circle; the next we were in moonlight, at the edge of a
snowbanked parking lot. THERE WAS A MARKED CAR AND SEVERAL UNMARKED
CARS SITTING there. Inside, cops and FBI stared at us, eyes wide. We had
simply appeared out of thin air; I guess it was worth a stare or two. “How are we going to explain this?” Rhys asked softly. The car doors started opening. Police of all flavors poured out
into the cold. Then there was wind at our backs…warm wind, and a sound like
birds, if birds could be too large, and too frightening for words. “Oh, God,” Rhys said, “they’re coming through.” “Mistral, Sholto, hold the door closed if you can. Give us time,”
Doyle said. Mistral and Sholto turned to face that warm, seeking wind. Doyle
ran toward the cars; I was still in his arms. The others followed, though
Frost’s wounds caused him to follow slowly behind us. The police were calling to us. “What’s wrong?” “Is the princess
hurt?” “Stay in your cars and you’ll be safe,” Doyle yelled. The closest car held two dark-suited men. One was young and dark,
the other older and balding. “Charles, FBI,” the younger one said. “You don’t
give us orders.” “If the princess is in danger, I can, by your own laws,” said
Doyle. The older one said, “Special Agent Bancroft, what’s happening?
That’s not geese I’m hearing.” A uniform that was St. Louis city, one Illinois state trooper, and
a local precinct cop joined us. Apparently, when the rest of the police went
away after we’d last dealt with them here, they’d left a little bit of
everybody behind. No one wanted to be left out, I guess. “If you all stay in your cars, you will be safe,” Doyle repeated. One of the younger uniforms said, “We’re cops. We’re not paid to be
safe.” “Spoken like someone who is not even close to his pension,” another
officer said, one with more weight around his middle. “Jesus,” one of them said. I didn’t have to glance back, for now
Frost had caught up with us. He’d bled all over Rhys, so that it looked like
Rhys was hurt worse. Abe was still bleeding from falling among the bones. One of the uniforms touched his shoulder radio and started
requesting an ambulance. Doyle yelled above the growing sound of wind and
birds, “There is no time. They will be upon us in moments.” “Who?” Bancroft asked. Doyle shook his head and moved around the agent. He laid me in the
passenger seat of the car, then opened the backseat door, saying, “Put Frost
inside, Rhys.” “I will not leave you,” Frost said. The men laid him in the seat
even as he protested. Doyle grabbed Frost’s shoulder and said, “If I die, if all of us
die, if the others are gone into the ground for good, then you must survive.
You must take her back to Los Angeles and not return.” I started to get out of the car then. “I won’t leave you.” Doyle pushed me back into the seat. He knelt down and gave me the
full weight of his dark eyes. “Meredith, Merry, we cannot win this fight.
Unless help arrives, we will all die. You have never seen this wild hunt, but I
have. We will give them sidhe to hunt, and they will ignore this car. You and
Frost will be safe.” I gripped his arms, so smooth, so muscled, so solid. “I won’t leave
you.” “Nor I,” Frost said, struggling to sit up in the backseat. “Frost,” Doyle almost yelled it, “I do not trust anyone but you and
me to keep her safe. If it is not to be me, then it must be you.” Bancroft said, “Get in and drive, Charlie.” The younger agent didn’t argue this time; he got behind the wheel.
I was still holding on to Doyle, shaking my head over and over. One of the
other cops had gotten a first-aid kit out of the car. Bancroft took it and
crawled into the back with Frost. “No,” I said to Doyle. “I am princess here, not you.” “Your duty is to live,” Doyle said. I shook my head. “If you die, I’m not sure I want to.” He kissed me then, hard and fierce. I tried to melt into that kiss,
but he tore himself away and slammed the door in my face. The doors locked. I glanced at the agent, who said, “We have to get
you to safety, Princess.” “Unlock the door,” I demanded. He ignored me and started the engine, hit the gas. Just then wind
slammed into the car, so hard that it skidded the vehicle to the side. Charlie
fought to keep the car in the parking lot and out of the trees. “Drive,” Bancroft yelled, “drive like a son of a bitch!” I looked then, because I had to. The wild hunt had broken through,
and it was like the moment in the cave—as if the darkness had split open and
was spilling out nightmares. But the nightmares were even more solid now. Or
maybe, now that I’d seen them, I couldn’t unsee them. A coat flew over my face, and I was left scrambling at it. “Don’t
look, Merry,” Frost said, his voice choked, “don’t look.” “Put on the coat, Princess,” Bancroft said. “We’ll get you to the
hospital.” I held the coat in my arms, but turned to look back. The police were shooting at the hunt. Mistral lit the sky with
lightning, and one of the police crumbled to the ground. Was he screaming? The
horror spilled over Sholto, and he was lost to it. Doyle leapt toward the
tentacles and teeth, the sword glittering in the moonlight. I screamed his
name, but the last thing I saw before we drove into the dark was Doyle lost
under a weight of nightmares. FROST’S HAND GRABBED MY SHOULDER, PRESSING ME
AGAINST the seat. “Merry, please, don’t make Doyle’s sacrifice in vain.” I touched his hand, pressed it against me, and there was more blood
on it. “How can I let them drive us to safety and not fight it?” “You must. I am too hurt to help, and you are too fragile. I would
willingly die with them, but you must not die.” Agent Charlie had us on the narrow road, driving a little too fast
for the darkness and the snow. He hit ice and skidded. “Slow down or you’re going to put us in a ditch,” Bancroft said.
“And you, Frost, right, you need to lie back and let me finish putting pressure
on this wound. You bleed to death and you can’t keep the princess safe.” “Did you see it?” Charlie said as he slowed down. “Did you see it?” “I saw it,” Bancroft said in a strained voice. He pulled on Frost.
“Let me take care of the wound like your captain ordered.” Frost let go of me, slowly, his hand pulling away. I started
drawing the trench coat over me. I didn’t know whose coat it was, but I was
cold. Cold in a way that the coat wouldn’t help, yet it was all I had. Agent Charlie slowed at a sharp turn, and I caught a glimpse of
something in the trees. It wasn’t the wild hunt, and it wasn’t our men. “Stop,” I said. He slowed further, almost stopped. “What? What is it?” I saw them in the trees: goblins. Goblins walking in single file,
cloaked for the cold, bristling with weapons in the cold light of the moon.
They were walking away from the fight, though some of them glanced back. That
was enough to tell me they knew what was happening, and they were leaving my
men to die. “Drive,” Bancroft said. “Stop,” I ordered. Agent Charlie ignored me. The car picked up speed. “Stop,” I repeated. “There are goblins out there. They can tip the
balance. They can save my men.” “We’re doing what your guard demanded,” Bancroft said. “We’re going
to a hospital.” I had to stop the car. I had to talk to the goblins—they were my
allies. They had to help, if I asked it, or be forsworn. I reached over, touched the agent’s face, and thought about sex.
I’d never done this to a human before, never used that part of my heritage for
evil. And it was evil—I didn’t know him, didn’t want him, but I made him want
me. The agent slammed on the brakes, throwing me into the dash, and
throwing the men in the back into the floorboards. Bancroft yelled, “What the
hell are you doing?” Agent Charlie threw the car into park, skewing halfway across the
road. He unbuckled his seat belt, pulled me toward him, and started trying to
kiss me, his hands everywhere. I didn’t care, as long as the car was stopped. Bancroft came over the seat. “Charlie, for God’s sake, Charlie.
Stop!” I took advantage of the fight to reach across and unlock the door
while the men fought almost on top of me. I opened the door and fell backward
into the road. Charlie tried to crawl after me. Bancroft slid over the seat and
on top of his partner. I got to my feet on the icy road, huddling under the coat. The goblins were there in the dark, just outside the headlight
beams. Two faces looked at me, two nearly identical faces: Ash and Holly. The
wind blew their yellow hair from their hoods. I couldn’t tell which twin was
which in the uncertain light—the only difference was eye color. “Hail, goblins,” I called. One of them touched the other and nodded toward the dark. They
began to turn and leave. I yelled, “I call on you as allies. To deny me is to
be forsworn. The wild hunt is abroad, and oathbreakers are sweet meat to them.” The twins turned back to us, and the goblins who were only dark
shapes behind them shifted in the dimness. “We did not make this oath,” one of
them called. “Kurag, Goblin King, did, and you are his people. Do you call your
king a liar? Are you king now among the goblins, Holly?” I had taken a chance on that. I wasn’t certain which brother it
was, but I’d guessed based on the fact that Holly had the worse attitude of the
two. He bowed his head in acknowledgment. “The princess sees well in the dark.” “She merely has good ears,” his brother said. “You complain more.” Ash started down the side of the road, ignoring my plea, and some
of the others followed. Most stayed in the shadows along the road’s edge. There
had to be nearly twenty of them. It was enough to make a difference, enough,
maybe, to save…my men. I heard a car door open behind me. Frost crawled out and fell into
the snow and ice of the road. I went to him but kept my gaze on the goblins. “This is not our fight,” Holly said. “I need your help as my allies; that makes it your fight,” I said.
“Or have the goblins lost their taste for battle?” “You do not battle the wild hunt, Princess. You run from it, you
join it, you hide from it. But you don’t fight it,” Ash said. I could see his
green eyes now. His hood framed a face as handsome as any at the Unseelie Court, golden-haired; only the pure, pupil-less green of his eyes and a bulkier
body under the cloak betrayed his mixed heritage. “Will you be forsworn?” I asked. I clung to Frost’s hand in the
snow. “No,” Ash said. But he was not happy about it. “We came out to see what the fuss was,” one of the other goblins
said, “not get ourselves killed for a bunch of sidhe.” The goblin was almost
twice as broad as any sidhe. He turned into the light a face that was covered
in hard, round bumps. “Get a good look, Princess.” He threw back his cloak so I
could see more of him. His arms were as covered as his face in bumps and
growths, marks of beauty among the goblins. But these bumps were pastel
colors—pink, lavender, mint green—not a skin tone that the goblins could boast. “That’s right, I’m half sidhe,” he said. “Just like them, but I’m
not so pretty, am I?” “By goblin standards you are the more handsome,” I said. He blinked eyes that bulged slightly from his face. “But you don’t
judge by goblin standards, do you, Princess?” “I ask as your ally for your aid. I ask as a blood-oathed ally to
your king that the goblins aid me. Call Kurag and summon more goblins.” “Why don’t you call the sidhe?” the bumpy goblin asked. Truth was, I wasn’t certain there was anyone left who would risk themselves
against the great hunt for me. Nor was I sure whether the queen would let them.
She had been so unhappy with me when last we met. “Are you saying that a goblin is a lesser warrior than a sidhe?” I
asked, avoiding the question. “No one is a greater warrior than the goblins,” he said. Ash said, “You don’t know if the sidhe will come.” I was out of time to prevaricate further. “No, I don’t,” I
admitted. “Aid me, Ash, help me, as my ally, help us.” “Beg,” Holly said, “beg for our aid.” “The goblins seek to delay,” Frost said, voice hoarse, “they seek
to delay until the fight is over. Cowards!” I gazed up at the three tall goblins, and the others waiting in the
shadows. I did the only thing I could think of. I searched Frost until I found
a gun. I pulled it free of the holster and got to my feet. Bancroft had finally handcuffed his partner to the steering wheel,
though Agent Charlie was still trying to get free and get to me. Bancroft
joined us in the snow. “What are you going to do, Princess?” “I’m going to go back and fight.” I hoped that in the face of my
determination, the goblins could do naught but join. “No,” Bancroft said, and started to reach across Frost toward me. I pointed the gun at him and clicked off the safety. “I have no
quarrel with you, Agent Bancroft.” He had gone very still. “Glad to hear it. Now give me the gun.” I started to back away from him. “I’m going back to help my men.” “She’s bluffing,” the warty goblin said. “No,” Frost said, “she’s not.” He struggled to his feet, then fell
back into the snow. “Merry!” “Bancroft, get him to the hospital.” I aimed the gun skyward and
started running back the way we’d come. I tried to think of summer’s heat.
Tried to bring the idea of warmth to my shields, but all I could feel was the
ice under my feet. If I was human enough to get frostbite, I’d lose feeling
soon. Ash and Holly came up beside me, one on either side. They loped
along while I ran my fastest. They could have outdistanced me and gotten to the
fight sooner, but they’d only obey the letter of our agreement. If I fought and
asked for help, then they had to help me, but they didn’t have to get to the
fight one second before I did. I prayed, “Goddess, help me and my allies to arrive in time to save
my people.” I felt someone pounding up behind us, but did not glance back—it
was just one of the larger goblins. Then hands, silver-grey in the moonlight. Before I knew it I was
cradled against a chest almost as wide as I was tall. Jonty, the Red Cap, was
ten feet of goblin muscle. He glanced down at me with eyes that in good light
would be as red as if he looked at the world through a spill of fresh blood.
His eyes were a match for Holly’s. It had made me wonder if the goblin half of
the twins was a Red Cap. The blood that dripped continuously from the cap on
his head shone in the light. Little drops of it were flung behind him as he
picked up speed and raced toward the fight. The Red Caps had earned their name
by dipping their caps in the blood of enemies. Once, to be warlord among them
you had to have enough magic to keep the blood dripping indefinitely. Jonty was
the only Red Cap I’d ever met who could do the trick, though he wasn’t a
warlord, because the Red Caps were no longer a kingdom unto themselves. Ash and Holly were forced to stretch to keep up with the much
bigger man; Jonty was a small giant even among them. They had been in charge of
this expedition, but goblins are a tough lot. If they let Jonty reach the fight
first—if they showed themselves weaker, slower, than him—then they might not be
in charge at the end of the night. Goblin society is survival of the fittest. I cradled the gun carefully, pointing it away from Jonty. No one
got ahead of us—no one else had the length of leg—and the others were fighting
just to keep pace. Such a big creature, but he ran with the grace and speed of
something lithe and beautiful. I asked him, “Why help me?” In his deep voice, like gravel, he said, “I swore a personal oath
to protect you. I will not be forsworn.” He leaned over me, so that a drop of
that magical blood fell upon my face. He whispered, “The Goddess and God still
speak to me.” I whispered back, “You heard my prayer.” He gave a small nod. I touched his face, and my hand came away
covered in blood, warm blood. I cuddled closer into the warmth of him. He
raised his eyes again, and ran faster. THE SKY BOILED WITH STORM CLOUDS OVER THE
SMALL WOODS that bordered the parking lot. The wild hunt wasn’t a
tentacled nightmare anymore. It looked like a storm, if storms could hover against
the tops of trees and drape like black silk dripping between the trunks. Lightning flashed from the ground into the clouds—Mistral was still
alive and fighting back. Who else? Green flame flickered through the trees, and
something hard and tight in my chest eased—that flame was Doyle’s hand of
power. He was alive as well. In that moment nothing else really mattered to me.
Not crown, not kingdom, not faerie itself; nothing mattered except that Doyle
was alive and not so hurt he could not fight. Ash and Holly put on a burst of speed so that they were ahead of
Jonty and me as we neared the open area closest the trees. There wasn’t enough
cover to hide anything in the open field, until from thin shadows, goblins
appeared. They didn’t materialize, but emerged like a sniper hidden in his
gillie suit in the field—except that the only camouflage the goblins had was
their own skin and clothes. Ash had called Kurag, Goblin King, as we ran to this place. To do
so, he had bared his sword and put a hand on my shoulder to come away with
blood to smear upon the blade. Blood and blade: old magic that worked long
before cell phones were a dream in a human’s mind. Personally I wouldn’t have
wanted to run on the icy road with a bared blade. But Ash wasn’t human, and he
made it all look easy. Ash and his brother ran ahead of Jonty—whoever got to the
rendezvous first would lead the goblins without argument. But I didn’t care—as
long as we saved my men, I didn’t care who led. I would have followed anyone in
that moment to save them. One of the brothers fell to talking with the waiting force. It
wasn’t until the other brother got close enough for his eyes to flash crimson
that I knew it was Holly come back to Jonty and me. Holly was struggling to
breathe normally. Outrunning someone whose legs were almost as tall as he was
took more effort than was pretty, even for a warrior as formidable as he. His
voice held only a hint of the breathlessness that made his shoulders and chest
rise and fall so rapidly. “The archers will be ready in moments. We need the
princess.” “I am not much of an archer,” I said, still cradled in the heat of
Jonty’s body, and the blood. The blood that flowed from his cap down to my body
was warm. Warm as if it spilled from a freshly opened wound. Holly gave me a look that appeared irritated even in the forgiving
glow of moonlight. “You carry the hand of blood,” he said. He let that anger
that was always just below the surface for him fall into his voice. I nearly asked what that had to do with archers. But the moment
before I said it, I did know. “Oh,” I said. “Unless Kitto exaggerated what you did in Los Angeles to the
Nameless,” Holly added. I shook my head, the warm blood creeping down my neck between my
skin and the borrowed trench coat. The blood should have been disturbing, but
it wasn’t—it felt like a warm blanket on a cold night: comforting. “No, Kitto
didn’t exaggerate,” I said. I didn’t like that Kitto had borne tales to the
goblins, but forced myself to accept that he was half theirs and still had to answer
to their king. He’d probably had little choice in what he told them. “The full hand of blood,” Holly said, and his voice wasn’t so much
angry as skeptical. “Hard to believe it lies in such a fragile creature.” “Look at my cap, if you doubt her power,” Jonty rumbled. Holly gazed upward, but his eyes didn’t stay on the cap long. His
gaze slid down to me, and something in that look was both sexual and predatory.
I could feel the blood plastering the back of my hair, my shoulders, arms; I
must have looked like an accident victim. Most men would have found it
frightening, but Holly looked at me as if I’d covered myself with perfume and
lingerie. One man’s nightmare, another’s fantasy. He reached a hand up, tentatively, as if he thought either Jonty or
I would protest. When we didn’t, he touched my shoulder. I think he meant to
merely get a touch of blood on his fingers, but the moment his fingers brushed
me, a look of wonder came over his face. He leaned in toward me, the wonder
being eaten by something that was part desire, and part violence. “What have
you been doing, Princess, to feel like this?” “I don’t know what you’re feeling, so I don’t know how to answer.”
My voice was small. Of all the men I’d agreed to have sex with, Holly and his
brother were the ones who gave me the most pause. Jonty’s arms tightened around me, almost possessively. That was
both good and bad. If all of Jonty was in proportion, then I could not satisfy
him and live to tell the tale. But it was hard to tell with the Red Cap; his
possessiveness might have had nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with
the blood magic. Holly drew his hand from my shoulder. He began to lick the blood
from his hand like a cat that has dipped its paw in your glass of milk. His
eyes fluttered closed as he licked. “She calls your blood,” he said, in a low
voice better suited for a bedroom than a battlefield. “Yes,” Jonty said, and that one word from him had the same overly
intimate tone. I was missing something, but did not want to admit that I didn’t know
what was happening, or why they were so fascinated with the fact that touching
me made the Red Cap bleed more. At a loss, I changed the subject. “If you want
me to call blood from our enemies, we need to get closer to the archers.” I
fought to keep my voice matter-of-fact, as if I knew exactly what was happening
and either didn’t care or took it completely in stride. “And who will hold you while you call blood, so those dainty feet
do not touch the cold ground?” Holly said. “I will stand on my own.” “I will hold you,” Jonty said. “You are a goblin, Jonty. Goblins fight among themselves as sport,
which means it is likely there is at least a nick somewhere on your body. If
you have a wound, even a small one, when I call blood, I will bleed you, too.” “I am no Red Cap to brawl for the sake of brawling. I save my flesh
for other things,” Holly said. He licked the last of the blood from his hand in
a long smooth movement that should have been sensual, but managed to be mostly
just unnerving. “I will stand on my own,” I repeated. “Your brother waves to get our attention,” Jonty said then to
Holly, and moved forward. Holly hesitated, as if he would block our way, but then moved
aside, speaking as Jonty passed him. “I will see you survive this night,
Princess, for I mean to have you.” “I remember our bargain, Holly,” I called back. The smaller goblin hurried to keep up with Jonty’s longer strides.
It was like a child running after an adult, though Holly wouldn’t have thanked
me for the comparison. “I hear reluctance in your voice, Princess, and the sex
will be all the sweeter for it.” “Do not torment her on the edge of battle, Holly,” Jonty said. Holly didn’t argue; he just abandoned the topic for the time being.
“The archers will cut them for you, but you have to weaken them enough to bring
them down,” he said to me. “I know what you want me to do.” “You don’t sound certain.” I didn’t voice my doubts, but this was a wild hunt. A true wild
hunt, which meant it was the essence of faerie. The creatures could bleed, but
how do you kill something that is formed of pure magic? This was ancient magic,
chaos magic, primeval and horrible. How do you kill such things? Even if I bled
them enough to bring them to earth, could they be truly slain by blade and ax?
I had never heard of anyone fighting and winning against such a hunt. Of course, I had never heard that the spectral hunts could bleed if
cut. Sholto had called this one into being, using magic that he and I had
raised as a couple. Was it my mortal blood that had made the hunt vulnerable to
bleeding? Was my mortality truly contagious, as some of my enemies claimed? Following this idea to its logical extension meant that if I sat on
the throne of our court, it would condemn all of the sidhe to age and die. But
at this moment if my mortal flesh had made this hunt mortal in turn, I was
grateful for it. It meant they could bleed and die, and I needed them to die.
We needed to win this battle. I would not spread my mortality through all of
faerie, but to have shared it with these creatures—well, that would be a
blessing. THE ARROWS CUT THE NIGHT SKY LIKE BLACK WOUNDS
ACROSS the stars, vanishing into the boiling black silk of the clouds.
We waited in the winter night for screams to let us know the bolts had found
their mark, but there was nothing but silence. I stood on the ground, pulling the borrowed trench coat around me.
I stood on Holly’s cloak, which he had thrown on the ground to keep my bare
feet from the rough ground and the cold. “The cloak gets in the way of my ax,”
he’d said, as if he were afraid that I might think he was being gentlemanly.
Then he moved forward to be with his brother and the other warriors. Only Jonty and one other Red Cap stayed back with me, though every
Red Cap who had come out tonight—a dozen of them—had touched me before they
went to take their place in the ranks. They had laid their mouths, in a strange
sort of kiss, against my shoulder where the coat hung heavy with blood from
Jonty’s cap. One had caught the coat in his pointed teeth and torn it before
Jonty had slapped him away. The ones who came after had widened the hole until
the lips of the last few touched my bare shoulder where the blood had begun to
dry to my skin. I had neither offered the Red Caps the familiarity, nor been asked;
Jonty had called them, and spoken in a Gaelic so old that I could not follow
it. Whatever Jonty had said to them had turned their faces to me, and
the look in their eyes was that odd mix of sex, hunger, and eagerness that I’d
seen in Holly. I hadn’t understood the look—and hadn’t had time to question
it—but because it cost me nothing to have their lips pressed to my shoulder, I
allowed it. Then I noticed that each of the Red Caps who touched me began
bleeding afresh after touching Jonty’s blood on my body. I was fighting an urge to scream my impatience at them, but the Red
Caps weren’t the ones delaying; the other goblins squabbled about who would go
where. If Kurag, Goblin King, had come, there would have been no arguments, but
Ash and Holly, though feared warriors, were not kings, and all other leadership
among the goblins is a constant state of struggle. The goblin society
represented the ultimate in Darwinian evolution: only the strongest survive,
and only the very strongest lead. If I had been truly queen enough to lead them, they would have done
what I ordered, but I didn’t have their respect yet, so I knew better than to
try to lead here. It would have undermined Ash and Holly, and gained me
nothing. Besides, battlefield tactics wasn’t my strongest suit, and I knew
that. My father had drilled into me from an early age to know my strengths and
weaknesses. Find allies who complement you, he’d said. True friendship is a
type of love, and all love has power. Jonty leaned over me and said, “Call your hand of power, Princess.” “How do you know they are hurt?” “We are goblins,” he said, as if that settled it. Another line of green flame flickered through the trees, and I was
close enough now to see the black tendrils back away from it. I didn’t argue
again, but called the hand of blood. I concentrated on my left hand. It didn’t emit a beam of power, or
anything like you see in the movies; it was simply that the mark, or key, to
the hand of blood lay in the palm of my left hand. Or maybe doorway was
a better term. I opened the mark in the palm of that hand, and though there was
nothing to see with the naked eye, there was plenty to feel. It was as if the blood in my veins had suddenly turned to molten
metal. My blood tried to boil with the power of it. I screamed, and thrust my
hand toward the cloud. I projected that burning, tearing power outward. I
realized in that moment that it wasn’t just the archers who were shooting
blind—I had never before tried to use the hand of blood on a target I could not
see. For a heartbeat the power turned back on me, and every small scrape
I’d accumulated in the past twenty-four hours bled. Each tiny wound bled like a
fountain, and I fought my body, fought my own magic to keep it from destroying
me. Lightning struck the cloud, and illuminated it, as it had inside
the sluagh’s mound. But I wasn’t horrified this time, I was joyous; a fierce
triumphant joy. If I could see it, I could make it bleed. I had the blink of an eye to spot my targets. A breath to see that
the tentacled mass was white and silver and gold, not the black and grey and
white it had been. I had an instant to note that the hunt had a terrible beauty
before I thrust my power toward that shining mass and screamed, “Bleed!” Green flame climbed up the trees and lightning flared behind it so
that both powers met mine in the cloud at the same instant. The cloud flashed
green in reflected color. I called for blood and black fountains of it exploded
into the green-yellow flare. The light died, leaving the night blacker than before. My night
vision had been ruined from staring into the light. Something spattered against
the left side of my face, something that felt wet, but carried no shock of
temperature difference. Only two things feel like that: water at body
temperature, and very fresh blood. If I had been a warrior, I would have
whirled, gun up, but I turned slowly, like a character in a horror movie who
doesn’t really want to see the blow before it falls. All that met my eyes was the shortest of my Red Cap guards, Bithek.
Someone had sliced open his scalp to spill blood in a gory mask down his face,
so that even his eyes were lost to the dark flow of it. Then he shook his head
like a wet dog, spattering me with warm drops. I closed my eyes, put up a
protecting hand. Jonty’s chided Bithek. “You’re wasting the blood.” “But so much, can’t keep it out of my eyes. I’d forgotten that it
was ever like this,” Bithek growled. I looked behind me at Jonty and found him as bloody as the other
guard. It made me look around at all of them. They were all covered in blood,
but even by moonlight and starlight, I could see now that the blood welled from
the caps on their heads. “Your magic brings our blood, Princess,” Jonty said. “I don’t understand…” “Make them bleed for us,” the last Red Cap said. I looked at him. “I can’t remember your name,” I said. “For this magic, I would follow you nameless, Princess Meredith.
Bleed our enemies, and cover us in their blood.” I turned away from the Red Caps. I didn’t understand completely,
but trusted. One mystery at a time—later, later I would unravel it all. Even facing away from the Red Caps, I could still feel them. It was
as if their power complemented mine, fed it. No; our powers fed each other;
they were like a warm battery at my back, comforting, energizing. I threw that warmth, that weight of power against our enemies. I
called their blood by the flash of lightning and the flicker of green-gold
flame. I called their blood and knew that the Red Caps at my back bled with
them. I could feel it. The ones who waited ahead of us bled, too. A goblin came running toward us in a blurring speed that would have
done any sidhe proud. He was no taller than me, but had four arms to my two,
and a face that was noseless and strangely unfinished. He dropped to his knees,
and would not meet my eyes. He actually put two of his arms on the ground and
abased himself—striking, because in goblin society the lower you go, the more
respect you feel for the person you’re addressing. I didn’t usually get that
kind of greeting from anybody. He said, “A message from Ash and Holly: “‘Aim
your magic better, Princess, before you bleed us all to death.’” Now I understood why he was abasing himself—he had been afraid I’d
take the message badly. “Tell them I’ll aim better,” I said wryly. He ducked his head, bumping his forehead to the earth, then sprang
to his feet and raced back the way he had come. I drew my magic back, swallowed
the hand of blood. The pain was instantaneous, grinding, and sharp, like broken
glass flowing through my veins. I screamed my pain, wordlessly, but kept the
magic inside me. I fought to visualize the creatures inside the cloud. Tentacles,
veined with silver and gold, white and pure, muscled magic. I fell to my knees
with the pain. Jonty reached for me, and I hissed, “No, don’t touch me.” The
magic wanted to bleed someone, anyone, and his touch would make him the target. I closed my eyes so I could mentally draw the picture of what I
sought. When I could see it, shining and writhing across the inside of my eyes,
I reached my left hand out again, and threw that broken-glass pain into the
image. My pain intensified for a shining, breathless moment—all there was in
that second was the pain, so much pain. Then it eased, and I could breathe
again…and I knew the hand of blood was busy elsewhere. I kept my eyes closed so nothing else could catch my eye. I was
afraid that if I saw the goblin warriors again, I’d bleed them by accident. I
knew what I wanted to bleed, and that was above their heads in the sky. I
thought about all the beautiful things that could have flown above their heads.
Did it have to be frightening? There was such beauty in faerie, why did it have
to be nightmarish? I heard the sound of wings whistling overhead, and opened my eyes.
I’d fallen to the ground on top of Ash’s cloak, though I didn’t remember
falling. Above us, so close that the great white wings brushed Jonty’s head,
were swans. Swans gleaming white in the moonlight: There had to be more than
twenty of them, and had I seen what I thought I saw on their necks and
shoulders? Chains and collars of gold? It couldn’t be—this was the stuff of
legends. It was the nameless Red Cap who voiced my thought: “They had chains
on their necks.” I heard the wild call of geese next. They flew just overhead, following
the line the swans had taken. I got to my feet, stumbling on the edge of the
borrowed trench coat. Jonty caught me, but it didn’t seem to hurt him or me. I
felt light and airy, as if the hand of blood had become something else. What
had I been thinking just before the swans flew overhead? That the beauty in
faerie was too often nightmarish? There was a flight of cranes then: my father’s bird, one of his
symbols. The cranes flew low and seemed to dip their wings at us, almost in a
salute. “They fall!” shouted Bithek. I looked where he pointed. The storm cloud had vanished, and with
it most of the creatures. There had been so many, a writhing mass of them, but
now there were only a few—less than ten, maybe—and one of them had already
crashed through the trees. A second fell earthward, and I heard the sharp crack
of the trees breaking under the weight like a cannon shot, and men scattered,
too far away for me to know who was who. Was Doyle safe? Was Mistral? Had the
magic worked in time? Inside my head, I could finally admit, it was Doyle I most needed
to survive. I loved Rhys, but not like I loved Doyle. I let myself own that. I
let myself admit, at least inside my own head, that if Doyle died, part of me
would die as well. It had been the moment at the car, when he’d shoved Frost
and me inside and given me to Frost. “If not me, it must be you,” he’d said to
Frost. I loved Frost, too, but I’d had my revelation. If I could have chosen my
king this moment, I knew who it would be. Pity that I wasn’t the one doing the choosing. Figures started toward us, and the goblins parted to form a
corridor for my guards. When I finally recognized that tall, dark figure,
something in my chest eased, and I was suddenly crying. I started walking
toward him, then. I didn’t feel the frozen grass under my bare feet. I didn’t
feel when broken stubble cut me. Then I was running, with the Red Caps jogging
beside me. I picked up the edges of the borrowed coat like a dress, and held it
out of my way so I could run to him. Doyle wasn’t alone; dogs, huge black dogs milled around his legs.
Suddenly I remembered a vision I’d had of him with dogs like this, and the
ground tilted under my feet, vision and reality melding before my eyes. The
dogs reached me first, pressing warm muscled fur against me where I knelt,
their great panting breath hot on my face as I held my hands out to touch them.
Their black fur ran with a tingling rush of magic. The bodies writhed under my hand, the fur growing less coarse,
smoothing, the bodies less dense. I looked up into the face of a racing hound,
white and sleek, with ears a shining red. The other hound’s face was half red
and half white, as if some hand had drawn a line down the center of it. I’d
never seen anything so beautiful as that face. Then Doyle was standing in front of me, and I threw myself into his
arms. He lifted me off the ground and hugged me so hard it almost hurt. But I
wanted him to hold me hard. I wanted to feel the reality of his body against
me. I wanted to know he was alive. I needed to touch him to know it was true. I
needed him to touch me, and let me know that he was still my Darkness, still my
Doyle. He whispered into my hair, “Merry, Merry, Merry.” I clung to him, wordless, and wept. EVERYONE LIVED, EVEN THE HUMAN POLICEMEN,
THOUGH some were driven mad by what they had seen. Abeloec fed them from
his cup of horn and they fell into a magical sleep, destined to wake with no
memory of the horrors they had seen. Magic isn’t always bad. The black dogs were a miracle: They changed depending on who
touched them. Abe’s touch turned the great black dogs into lapdogs to lie
before a cozy fire, white with red markings—faerie dogs. Mistral’s touch turned
them to huge Irish wolfhounds, not the pale, slender ones of today, but the giants
that the Romans had feared so much—these were the hounds that could snap the
spine of a horse with their bite. Someone else’s touch turned a dog into a
green-furred Cu Sith that loped off toward the Seelie mound. What would their
king, Taranis, think of its return? He’d probably try to take credit for it,
claim it as proof of his power. In the midst of the return of so much that was lost, other things
much more precious were returned to me. Galen’s voice shouting my name turned
me in Doyle’s arms. He was running across the snowy field with flowers
following in his wake, as if wherever he stepped, spring returned. All the rest
who had vanished into the dead gardens were with him. Nicca appeared with a
following of the winged demifey. Amatheon was there with the tattoo of a plow
gleaming like neon blood on his chest. I saw Hawthorne, his dark hair starred
with living blossoms. Adair’s hair burned around him like a halo of fire, so
bright it obscured his face as he moved. Aisling walked in a cloud of singing
birds. He was nude, except for a piece of black gauze that he’d wrapped around
his face. Onilwyn was the only one who did not come. I thought the garden had
kept him, until I heard another voice shrieking my name in the distance. Then I
heard Onilwyn’s frantic cry: “No, my lord, no!” “It cannot be,” I whispered, looking up at Doyle, watching fear
cross his face, too. “It is he,” Nicca said. Galen wrapped himself around me as if I were the last solid thing
in the world. Doyle moved so he could embrace me as well. “It’s my fault,”
Galen whispered, “I didn’t mean to do it.” Aisling spoke, and the flock of birds sang as if they were moved to
joy by the sound of his voice. “We reemerged in the Hallway of Mortality.” “Major magic doesn’t work there; that’s why we’re all so helpless
to stop the torture,” Rhys said. “We came out of the walls and floors—and trees and flowers, and
shining marble came with us,” Aisling said. “The hallway is forever changed.” Galen started to shake, and I held him as hard as I could. “I was
buried alive,” he said. “I couldn’t breathe, I didn’t need to breathe, but my
body kept trying to do it. I came up through the floor screaming.” He collapsed
to his knees while I fought to hold him. “The queen was walling up Nerys’s clan alive,” Amatheon said.
“Galen did not take well to that after his time in the earth.” Galen shook as if he were having a fit, as if every muscle were
fighting itself, as if he were cold, though fevered. It was too much power and
too much fear. Adair’s glow had dimmed enough so that I could see his eyes. “Galen
said ‘No prisoners, no walls.’ The walls melted away, and flowers sprang up in
the cells. He hadn’t understood how much power he had gained.” Another shriek approached in the distance. “Cousin!” Doyle said, “Galen’s exhortation, ‘No prisoners,’ freed Cel.” Galen started to cry. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Onilwyn and the queen herself—and some of her guard—are wrestling
Cel even now,” Hawthorne said, “or he would be here already, trying to harm the
princess.” “He is quite mad,” Aisling said, “and he is intent on hurting all
of us. But most especially you, Princess.” “The queen told us to run back to the Western Lands. She’s hoping
he’ll grow more calm with time,” Hawthorne said. Even by starlight, he looked
doubtful. “She has admitted before her nobles that she cannot guarantee your
safety,” Aisling said. “We should flee, if we are going to,” Hawthorne said. I realized what he meant. If Cel attacked me now, here, like this,
we would be within our rights to kill him, if we could. My guards were sworn to
protect, and Cel was no match for the strength and magic that stood with me
now. Not alone, he wasn’t. “If I thought the queen would allow his death to go unpunished, I
would say, Stay, fight,” Doyle said. One of the great black mastiffs nudged Galen. He reached for it,
almost automatically, and it changed before my eyes. It became a sleek white
hound with one red ear. It licked the tears from Galen’s face and he stared at
it in wonder, as if he hadn’t seen the dogs until that moment. Then came Cel’s voice, broken, almost unrecognizable. “Merry!” His
screams broke off abruptly. The silence was almost more frightening than the
shouting, and my heart was suddenly pounding hard in my chest. “What happened?” I called out. Andais walked over the rise of the last gentle hill, following
Galen’s trail of flowers. She was alone, save for her consort, Eamon. They were
almost the same height, their long black hair streaming out behind them in a
wind that came from nowhere. Andais was dressed as if she were going to a
Halloween ball—and you were meant to fear her beauty. Eamon’s clothes were more
sedate, and also all black. The fact that Andais arrived with only him at her
side meant she didn’t want extra witnesses. Eamon was the only one who knew all
her secrets. “Cel will sleep for a time,” she called, as if in answer to a
question we hadn’t asked. Galen fought to stand while I steadied him. Doyle moved a little in
front of me. Some of the others did, too. The rest looked behind us into the
night, as if they suspected their queen of treachery. Eamon might be on my side
some of the time—he might even hate Cel—but he would never go against his
queen. Andais and Eamon stopped far enough away that they were out of easy
weapon range. The goblins watched them, and us, from a tight huddled knot, as
if they weren’t sure whose side they were on. I didn’t blame them, for I’d be
going back to L.A. and they would be staying here. I could force Kurag, their
king, to lend me warriors, but I couldn’t expect his men to follow me into
exile. “Meredith, niece of mine, child of my brother Essus, greetings.”
She’d chosen a greeting that acknowledged I was her bloodline. She was trying
to be reassuring; she was just so bad at it. I stepped forward until she could see me, but not beyond the
protective circle of the men. “Queen Andais, aunt of mine, sister of my father,
Essus, greetings.” “You must go back to the Western Lands tonight, Meredith,” said
Andais. “Yes,” I answered. Andais looked at the hounds that still milled among the men. Rhys
finally let himself touch them, and they became terriers of breeds long
forgotten, some white and red, others a good solid black and tan. The queen tried to call one of the dogs to her. The big mastiffs
were what the humans called Hell Hounds, though they had nothing to do with the
Christian devil. The big black dogs would have matched the queen’s costume, but
they ignored her. These wish hounds, the hounds of faerie, would not go to the
hand of the Queen of Air and Darkness. Had I been her, I would have knelt in the snow and coaxed them, but
Andais did not kneel to anyone, or anything. She stood straight and beautiful,
and colder than the snow around her feet. Two other hounds had come to my hands, and they now bumped against
me on either side, leaning in to be petted. I did it, because in faerie, we
touch someone when they ask. The moment I stroked that silken fur, I felt
better: braver, more confident, a little less afraid of what was about to
happen. “Dogs, Meredith? Couldn’t you return our horses to us, or our
cattle, instead?” “There were pigs in my vision,” I said. “Not dogs,” she said, her voice matter-of-fact, as if nothing
special had happened. “I saw dogs in a different vision, when I was still in the Western
Lands.” “True vision then,” she said, her voice still bland and faintly
condescending. “Apparently so,” I said, ruffling the ear of the taller of the
hounds. “You must leave now, Meredith, and take this wild magic with you.” “Wild magic is not so easily tamed, Aunt Andais,” I said. “I will
take back with me what will go, but some of it is flying free, even as we
speak.” “I saw the swans,” Andais said, “but no crows. You are so terribly
Seelie.” “The Seelie would say otherwise,” I said. “Go, go back to where you came from. Take your guards and your
magic, and leave me the wreck of my son.” It was tantamount to admitting that
if Cel fought me tonight, he would die. “I will go only if I can take all the guards who would come with
me.” I said it as firmly and bravely as I could. “You cannot have Mistral,” she said. I fought not to look for him at my back, fought not to see his big
hands touching the huge hounds that his caress had brought into being. “Yes, I
said. I remember what you told me in the dead gardens: that I could not keep
him.” “You will not argue with me?” she asked. “Would it do any good?” The tiniest hint of anger seeped into my
voice. The hounds tucked themselves tighter against my legs, leaning in for all
they were worth, as if they would remind me not to lose control. “The only thing that will call Mistral from my side to yours in the
Western Lands is if you come up pregnant. If you become with child, I will have
to let go of any who could be the father.” “If I become with child, I will send word,” I said, and fought to
keep my voice even. Mistral was going to suffer for being with me, I could see
it in her face, feel it in her voice. “I do not know what to wish for anymore, Meredith. Your magic runs
through my sithen, changing it into something bright and cheerful. There is a
field of flowers in my torture chamber.” “What do you want me to say, Aunt Andais?” “I wanted the magic of faerie to be reborn, but you are not enough
my brother’s daughter. You will make of us only another Seelie Court to dance
and parade before the human press. You will make us beautiful, but destroy that
which makes us different.” “I would humbly disagree with that,” said a voice from the crowd of
my men. Sholto stepped forward. His tattoo had become a nest of real tentacles
again, glowing and pale, and strangely beautiful, like some underwater sea
creature, some anemone or jellyfish. It was the first time I’d ever seen him
display his extra bits with pride. He stood tall with the spear and knife of
bone in his hands; at his side was a huge white hound with different red
markings on each of its three heads. Sholto used the side of the hand that held
the knife to rub the top of one of the huge heads. Sholto spoke again. “Merry makes us beautiful, yes, my queen. But
the beauty is stranger than anything the Seelie Court would allow within their
doors.” Andais gazed at Sholto, and for a moment I thought I saw regret.
Sholto’s magic rode him, and power breathed off him into the night. “You had him,” she said to me, simply. “Yes,” I said. “How was it?” “It was our coming together that raised the wild hunt.” She shivered, and there was a hunger on her face that frightened
me. “Amazing. Perhaps I will try him some night.” Sholto spoke again. “There was a time, my queen, when the thought
of a chance at your bed would have filled me with joy. But I truly know now
that I am King Sholto of the Sluagh, the Lord of That Which Passes Between,
Lord of Shadows. I will no longer take crumbs from the table of any sidhe.” She made a sharp sound, almost a hiss. “You must be an amazing bit
of ass, Meredith. One fuck with you and they all turn against me.” To that, there was no safe answer, so I said nothing. I stood in
the midst of my men, with the weight and press of the hounds milling around us.
Would she have been more aggressive if the dogs—war dogs, most of them—had not
been there? Was she afraid of the magic—or the more solid form the magic had
taken? One of the small terriers growled, and it was like a signal to the
others. The night was suddenly thick with growls, a low chorus that shivered
down my spine. I petted the heads of those I could touch, hushing them. The
Goddess had sent me guardians, I understood that now. I thanked her for it. “Cel’s guards who did not take oath to him—you promised they could go
with me,” I said. “I will not strip him of all signs of my favor,” she answered, and
her anger seemed to crackle on the cold air. “You gave your word,” I insisted. The dogs gave another low chorus of growls. The terriers began to
bark, as terriers will. I realized in that moment that the wild hunt was not
gone, only changed. These were the hounds of the wild hunt. These were the
hounds of legend that hunted oathbreakers through the winter wood. “Do not dare to threaten!” said Andais. Eamon touched her arm. She
jerked away from him, but seemed chastened. The wild hunt had been a great
leveler of the mighty. Once you became their prey, the hunt did not end until
the quarry was dead. “I do not believe I am the huntsman,” I said. “It would be a bad night, Queen Andais, to be an oathbreaker.”
Doyle’s deep molasses voice seemed to hang on the night, as if his words had
more weight on the still, winter air than they should have. “Are you the huntsman, Darkness? Would you punish me for breaking
faith?” “It is wild magic, Your Majesty; there is sometimes little choice
when it fills you. You become an instrument of the magic, and it uses you for
its own ends.” “Magic is a tool to be wielded, not some force one allows oneself
to be overcome by.” “As you will, Queen Andais, but I ask that you do not test these
hounds tonight.” Somehow it seemed Doyle wasn’t talking about just the dogs. “I will honor my word,” she said in a voice that made it clear that
she did so only because she had no choice. She had never been a gracious loser,
not in anything, large or small. “But you must leave now, Meredith, this
moment.” “We need time to send for the other guards,” I said. “I will bring all those who wish to come to you, Meredith,” Sholto
said. I turned, and there was an assurance in him, a strength that had
not been there before. He stood there with his “deformity” plain to see. He now
made it seem just another part of him, though, a part that would have been as
surely missed as an arm, or a leg if it were gone. Had being stripped of his
extra bits made him realize he valued them? Maybe. It was his revelation, not
mine. “You would side with her,” Andais said. “I am King of the Sluagh; I will see that an oath given and
accepted is honored. Remember, Queen Andais, that the sluagh was the only wild
hunt left in faerie until tonight. And I am the huntsman of the sluagh.” She took a step toward him, as if in threat, but Eamon pulled her
back. He whispered urgently against her cheek. I could not hear what he said,
but the tension left her body, until she allowed herself to lean back against
him. She let him hold her; in the face of those who were not her friends, she
let Eamon’s arms hold her. “Go, Meredith, take all that is yours, and go.” Her voice was
almost neutral, almost free of that rage that always seemed to bubble just
underneath her skin. “Your Majesty,” Rhys said, “we cannot go to the human airport like
this.” His gesture seemed to note how many of the guards were naked, and
bloody. The terriers at his feet gave happy barks, as if it looked all right to
them. Sholto spoke again. “I will take you to the edge of the Western Sea, just as I took the sluagh when we hunted Meredith in Los Angeles.” I looked at him and shook my head. “I thought you came by plane.” He laughed, and it was a joyous sound. “Did you picture the dark
host of the sluagh on some human airplane sipping wine and ogling the flight
attendants?” I laughed with him. “I hadn’t thought about it that clearly. You
are the sluagh—I didn’t question how you got to me.” “I will walk the edge of the field where it touches the woods. It
is an in-between place, neither field nor forest. I will walk, you will all
follow, and we will be at the edge of the Western Sea, where it touches the
shore. I am the lord of the between places, Meredith.” “I didn’t think any royals could still travel so far,” Rhys said. “I am the King of the Sluagh, Cromm Cruach, master of the last wild
hunt of faerie. I have certain gifts.” “Indeed,” the queen said, drily, “use those gifts, Shadowspawn, and
take these rabble from my sight.” She’d used the nickname that the sidhe called
him behind his back, but that even she had never used to his face before. “Your disdain cannot touch me tonight, for I have seen wonders.” He
held up the weapons of bone, as if she had missed them before. “I hold the
bones of my people. I know my worth.” If I’d been closer to him I would have embraced him. Probably just
as well that I wasn’t, as it might have ruined the power of the moment, but I
promised myself to give him a hug the moment we had some privacy. I loved
seeing that he valued himself at last. I heard a sound like the breaking of ice. “Frost,” I said. “We
can’t leave him behind.” “Didn’t the FBI take him to the hospital?” Doyle asked. I shook my head. “I don’t think so.” I looked out across the snow.
I couldn’t see anything, but…I started moving, and the hounds followed at my
side. I started to run across the snow, and felt the first sharp pain in my cut
feet. I ignored it, and ran faster. Time and distance shortened—as they never
before had outside the sithen. One minute I was with the others, the next I was
miles away, in the fields beside the road. My twin hounds had stayed with me,
and half a dozen of the black mastiffs were there, too. Frost lay in the snow, unmoving, as if he couldn’t feel the dogs
snuffling at him or my hands turning him over. The drifts underneath him were
soaked with blood, and his eyes were closed. His face was so cold. I lowered my
lips to his and whispered his name: “Frost, please, please, don’t leave me.” His body convulsed, and his breath rattled back into his chest.
Death seemed to be reversed. His eyes fluttered open, and he tried to reach for
me, but his hand fell back into the snow, too weak. I lifted his hand to my
face and held it there. I held his hand there while it grew warm against my
skin. I cried, and he found his voice, hoarse. He whispered, “The cold
cannot kill me.” “Oh, Frost.” He raised his other hand and touched the tears on my face. “Do not
weep for me, Merry. You love me, I heard it. I was leaving, but I heard your
voice, and I couldn’t leave, not if you loved me.” I cradled his head in my lap and wept. His other hand, the one that
I wasn’t clutching, brushed the fur of one of the huge black dogs. The dog
stretched and grew tall and white. A shining white stag stood over us. It had a
collar of holly, and looked like some Yule card brought to life. It pranced in
the snow, then ran in a white blur across the snow until it was lost to sight. “What magic is abroad this night?” Frost whispered. “The magic that will take you home.” Doyle spoke from behind us. He
fell to his knees in the snow beside Frost, and took his hand. “The next time I
send you to a hospital, you are to go.” Frost managed a wan smile. “I could not leave her.” Doyle nodded as if that made perfect sense. “I don’t think the magic will last until morning,” Rhys said. They
were all there, trailing behind, except Mistral. He was with the queen, I
supposed. I hadn’t even gotten to say good-bye. “But for tonight,” Rhys said, “I am Cromm Cruach, and I can help.”
He knelt on the other side of Frost and laid hands on him, above where his
clothing was black with blood. Rhys was suddenly formed of white light, not just his hands, but
all of him glowing. His hair moved in the wind of his own magic. Frost’s body
jerked upward, leaving my lap and our hands. He fell back against Doyle and me,
and said in a voice that was almost his own, “That hurt.” “Sorry about that,” said Rhys, “but I’m not a healer, not really.
There is too much of death in my power to make it painless.” Frost touched his own shoulder and chest, taking his hands from out
of Doyle’s and mine. “If you are not a healer, then why do I feel healed?” “Old magic,” Rhys said. “The morning light will find this magic
gone.” “How can you be certain?” Doyle asked. “The voice of the God in my head tells me so.” No one questioned after that. We just accepted it as true. Sholto led us to the edge of the field and forest. The dogs moved
around us, some choosing their masters, others making it plain that they did
not belong to anyone here. The ones that chose among us followed as Sholto
walked, but the other black dogs began to fall back and vanish into the night,
as if we had imagined them. The hound at my side bumped my hand for a pat, as
if to remind me that it was real. I wasn’t certain the hounds would stay, but they seemed magically
to give each of us what we needed tonight. Galen walked surrounded by dogs,
circled by sleek-looking greyhounds and a trio of small dogs dancing at his
feet. They made him smile, and helped chase the shadows from his face. Doyle
moved in a circle of black dogs; they fawned and capered about him like
puppies. The terriers followed Rhys like a small army of fur. Frost held my
hand over the back of the smallest of the greyhounds. He had no dog at his
side—only the white stag that had run into the night. But he seemed perfectly
content with my hand in his. The air was warm, and I looked from Frost’s face to Sholto, and
found that Sholto was walking on sand. One moment we were walking in
snow-covered fields at the edge of the trees, and the next moment sand sucked
at my feet. Water swirled over my bare toes, and the bite of salt let me know
that I was bleeding. I must have made some small sound, because Frost picked me up. I
protested, but it did me no good. The greyhounds stayed at his side, dancing
around us, half afraid of the curl of ocean, and seemingly worried that they
couldn’t stay in contact with me. Sholto led us up on dry land. The three-headed dog and the bone
weapons had vanished, but somehow I didn’t think they were any more gone than
the chalice was from me. True magic cannot be lost or stolen; it can only be
given away. We stood in the darkness, hours before dawn. I could hear the
rushing of cars on the highway nearby. We were hidden by cliffs, but that would
change as the dawn grew near. Surfers and fishermen would come down to the sea,
and we needed to be gone before then. “Use glamour to hide your appearance,” Sholto said. “I have sent
for taxis. They will arrive very soon.” “What magic is it,” I asked, “that lets you find taxis in L.A. at a moment’s notice?” “I am the Lord of That Which Passes Between, Merry, and taxis are
always going between one place and another.” It made perfect sense, but it made me smile all the same. I reached
for Sholto, and Frost let him take me, though not just with his arms. The thick
muscular tentacles wrapped around my body, the smaller ones playing along my
thighs, somehow finding their way under the borrowed trench coat. “Next time you are in my bed, I will not be half a man.” I kissed him, and whispered against his lips, “If that was you as
only half a man, King Sholto, then I can hardly wait to have you in all your
glory.” He laughed, that joyous sound that had brought the singing of birds
in the sluagh’s dead garden. I thought there would be no answer here, but
suddenly over the sighing of surf came singing, one birdsong after another,
sliding in joyous celebration in the dark. It was a mockingbird, singing for
Sholto’s laughter. We stood for a moment on the edge of the Western Sea with the mockingbird’s song pouring over us, as if happiness could have a sound. Sholto kissed me back, hard and thorough, leaving me breathless.
Then he handed me back, not to Frost, but to Doyle. “I will return so I can
bring the rest of the guards who wish to come into exile with you.” Doyle cuddled me in against his body and said, “Beware the queen.” Sholto nodded. “I will be wary.” He began to walk back the way we
had come. Somewhere before he vanished from sight I saw the white shine of a
dog at his side. “Everybody remember that the glamour is supposed to hide the fact
that we’re naked, and bloody,” Rhys said. “Anyone who doesn’t have enough
glamour to pull it off, stand next to someone who does.” “Yes, Teacher,” I said. He grinned at me. “I can cause death with a touch and a word; I can
heal with my hands for tonight. But damn, conjuring this many taxis out of thin
air—now, that’s impressive.” We walked up to the line of waiting taxis, laughing. The drivers
all seemed a little puzzled to find themselves in the middle of nowhere,
waiting beside an empty beach, but they let us get in. We gave the taxis the address of Maeve Reed’s Holmby Hills house,
and they drove. They didn’t even complain about the dogs. Now, that was magic. LAURELL K. HAMILTON
is the New York Times bestselling author of the Meredith Gentry novels A
Kiss of Shadows, A Caress of Twilight, Seduced by Moonlight, and A
Stroke of Midnight, as well as fourteen acclaimed Anita Blake, Vampire
Hunter, novels. She lives in St. Louis, Missouri. Visit the author’s official website at www.laurellkhamilton.org. By Laurell K. Hamilton A KISS OF SHADOWS A CARESS OF TWILIGHT SEDUCED BY MOONLIGHT A STROKE OF MIDNIGHT TO JONATHON Worrying about the perfect words makes me miss the perfect
moment. You remind me it’s not perfection I’m seeking but happiness. Mistral’s Kiss is a work of fiction. Names, characters,
places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or
dead, is entirely coincidental. Copyright © 2006 by Laurell K. Hamilton All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of
The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York. BALLANTINE and colophon are registered
trademarks of Random House, Inc. eISBN-13: 978-0-345-49546-4 eISBN-10: 0-345-49546-2 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION
DATA Hamilton, Laurell K. Mistral’s kiss : a novel / Laurell K. Hamilton. p. cm. 1. Gentry, Meredith (Fictitious character)—Fiction. 2. Women
private investigators—Fiction. 3. Supernatural—Fiction. 4. Fairies—Fiction. I.
Title. PS3558.A443357M57 2006 813'.54—dc22 2006042944 v1.0 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS To Darla Cook and Sherry Ganey, who keep so much running smoothly.
Mary Schuermann, best mother-in-law in the world. To my writing group, The
Alternate Historians: Deborah Milletello, Mark Sumner, Rett MacPherson, Marella
Sands, Tom Drennan, and Sharon Shinn. Our tenth anniversary as a group with its
current members is coming in 2006. It’s eighteen years from the group’s
inception; in 2008, we will celebrate twenty years. Can you believe it? Party,
party, party. Okay, our kind of party. No drinking, certainly no drugs, just us
sitting around talking, eating Debbie’s amazing desserts, just us doing what
we’ve done for a decade, being friends and helping each other succeed. I DREAMT OF WARM FLESH AND COOKIES. THE SEX I
UNDERSTOOD, but the cookies…Why cookies? Why not cake, or meat? But
that’s what my subconscious chose as I dreamt. We were eating in the tiny
kitchen of my Los Angeles apartment—an apartment I didn’t live in anymore,
outside of dreams. The we were me, Princess Meredith—the only faerie
royal ever born on American soil—and my royal guards, more than a dozen of
them. They moved around me with skin the color of darkest night, whitest
snow, the pale of newborn leaves, the brown of leaves that have gone down to
die on the forest floor, a rainbow of men moving nude around the kitchen. The real apartment kitchen would have barely held three of us, but
in the dream everyone walked through that narrow space between sink and stove
and cabinets as if there were all the room in the world. We were having cookies because we’d just had sex and it was hungry
work, or something like that. The men moved around me graceful and perfectly
nude. Several of the men were ones I’d never seen nude. They moved with skin
the color of summer sunshine, the transparent white of crystals, colors I had
no name for, for the colors did not exist outside of faerie. It should have
been a good dream, but it wasn’t. I knew something was wrong, that feeling of
unease that you get in dreams when you know that the happy sights are just a
disguise, an illusion to hide the ugliness to come. The plate of cookies was so innocent, so ordinary, but it bothered
me. I tried to pay attention to the men, touching their bodies, holding them,
but each of them in turn would pick up a cookie and take a bite, as if I
weren’t there. Galen with his pale, pale green skin and greener eyes bit into a
cookie, and something squirted out the side. Something thick and dark. The dark
liquid dripped down the edge of his kissable mouth and fell onto the white
countertop. That single drop splattered and spread and was red, so red, so
fresh. The cookies were bleeding. I slapped it from Galen’s hand. I picked up the tray to keep the
men from eating any more. The tray was full of blood. It dripped down the
edges, poured over my hands. I dropped the tray, which shattered, and the men
bent as if they would eat from the floor and the broken glass. I pushed them
back, screaming, “No!” Doyle looked up at me with his black eyes and said, “But it is all
we have had to eat for so long.” The dream changed, as dreams will. I stood in an open field with a
ring of distant trees encircling it. Beyond the trees, hills rode up into the
paleness of a moonlit winter’s night. Snow lay like a smooth blanket across the
ground. I was standing ankle-deep in snow. I was wearing a loose sweeping gown
as white as the snow. My arms were bare to the cold night. I should have been
freezing, but I wasn’t. Dream, just a dream. Then I noticed something in the center of the clearing. It was an
animal, a small white animal, and I thought, That’s why I didn’t see it,
for it was white, whiter than the snow. Whiter than my gown, than my skin, so
white that it seemed to glow. The animal raised its head, sniffing the air. It was a small pig,
but its snout was longer, and its legs taller, than those of any pig I’d ever
seen. Though it stood in the middle of the snowy field, there were no
hoofprints in that smooth snow, no way for the piglet to have walked to the
center of the field. As if the animal had simply appeared there. I glanced at the circle of trees, for only a moment, and when I
looked again at the piglet, it was bigger. A hundred pounds heavier, and taller
than my knees. I didn’t look away again, but the pig just got bigger. I
couldn’t see it happening, it was like trying to watch a flower bloom, but it
was growing bigger. As tall at the shoulder as my waist, long and broad, and
furry. I’d never seen a pig so fuzzy before, as if it had a thick winter coat.
It looked positively pettable, that pelt. It raised that strangely long-snouted
face toward me, and I saw tusks curving from its mouth, small tusks. The moment
I saw them, gleaming ivory in the snow light, another whisper of unease washed
through me. I should leave this place, I thought. I turned to walk out
through that ring of trees. A ring of trees that now looked entirely too even,
too well planned, to be accidental. A woman stood behind me, so close that when the wind blew through
the dead trees her hooded cloak brushed against the hem of my gown. I formed my
lips to say, Who? but never finished the word. She held out a hand that
was wrinkled and colored with age, but it was a small, slender hand, still
lovely, still full of a quiet strength. Not full of the remnants of youthful
strength, but full of the strength that comes only with age. A strength born of
knowledge accumulated, wisdom pondered over many a long winter’s night. Here
was someone who held the knowledge of a lifetime—no, several lifetimes. The crone, the hag, has been vilified as ugly and weak. But that is
not what the true crone aspect of the Goddess is, and it was not what I saw.
She smiled at me, and that smile held all the warmth you would ever need. It
was a smile that held a thousand fireside chats, a hundred dozen questions
asked and answered, endless lifetimes of knowledge collected and remembered.
There was nothing she would not know, if only I could think of the questions to
ask. I took her hand, and the skin was so soft, soft the way a baby’s
is. It was wrinkled, but smooth is not always best, and there is beauty in age
that youth knows not. I held the crone’s hand and felt safe, completely and utterly safe,
as if nothing could ever disturb this sense of quiet peace. She smiled at me,
the rest of her face lost in the shadow of her hood. She drew her hand out of
mine, and I tried to hold on, but she shook her head and said, though her lips
did not move, “You have work to do.” “I don’t understand,” I said, and my breath steamed in the cold
night, though hers had not. “Give them other food to eat.” I frowned. “I don’t understand…” “Turn around,” she said, and this time her lips did move, but still
her breath did not color the night. It was as if she spoke but did not breathe,
or as if her breath were as cold as the winter night. I tried to remember if
her hand had been warm or cold, but could not. All I remembered was the sense
of peace and rightness. “Turn around,” she said again, and this time I did. A white bull stood in the center of the clearing—at least that’s
what it looked like at first glance. Its shoulder stood as tall as the top of
my head. It must have been more than nine feet long. Its shoulders were a huge
broad spread of muscle humped behind its lowered head. The head raised,
revealing a snout framed by long, pointed tusks. This was no bull, but a huge
boar—the thing that had begun as a little pig. Tusks like ivory blades gleamed
as it looked at me. I glanced back, but knew the crone was gone. I was alone in the
winter night. Well, not as alone as I wanted to be. I looked back and found the
monstrous boar still standing there, still staring at me. The snow was cold
under my bare feet now. My arms ran with goose bumps, and I wasn’t sure if I
shivered from cold, or fear. I recognized the thick white hair on the boar now. It still looked
so soft. But its tail stuck straight out from its body, and it raised that long
snout skyward. Its breath smoked in the air as it sniffed. That was bad. That
meant it was real—or real enough to hurt me, anyway. I stood as still as I could. I don’t think I moved at all, but
suddenly it charged. Snow plumed underneath its hooves as it came for me. It was like watching some great machine barreling down. Too big to
be real, too huge to be possible. I had no weapon. I turned and ran. I heard the boar behind me. Its hooves sliced the frozen ground. It
let out a sound that was almost a scream. I glanced back; I couldn’t help it.
The gown tangled under my feet, and I went down. I rolled in the snow, fighting
to come to my feet, but the gown tangled around my legs. I couldn’t get free of
it. Couldn’t stand. Couldn’t run. The boar was almost on top of me. Its breath steamed in clouds.
Snow spilled around its legs, bits of frozen black earth sliced up in all that
white. I had one of those interminable moments where you have all the time in
the world to watch death come for you. White boar, white snow, white tusks, all
aglow in the moonlight, except for the rich black earth that marred the
whiteness with dark scars. The boar gave that horrible screaming squeal again. Its thick winter coat looked so soft. It was going to look soft
while it gored me to death and trampled me into the snow. I reached behind me, feeling for a tree branch, anything to pull
myself up out of the snow. Something brushed my hand, and I grabbed it. Thorns
cut into my hand. Thorn-covered vines filled the space between the trees. I
used the vines to drag myself to my feet. The thorns were biting into my hands,
my arms, but they were all I could grasp. The boar was so close, I could smell
its scent, sharp and acrid on the cold air. I would not die lying in the snow. The thorns bled me, spattered the white gown with blood, the snow
covered in minute crimson drops. The vines moved under my hands like something
more alive than a plant. I felt the boar’s breath like heat on the back of my
body, and the thorny vines opened like a door. The world seemed to spin, and
when I could see again, be sure of where I was again, I was standing on the
other side of the thorns. The white boar hit the vines hard and fast, as if it
expected to tear its way through. For a moment I thought it would do just that;
then it was in the thorns, slowing. It stopped rushing forward and started
slashing at the vines with its great snout and tusks. It would tear them out,
trample them underfoot, but its white coat was bedecked with tiny bloody
scratches. It would break through, but the thorns bled it. I’d never owned any magic in dream, or vision, that I didn’t own in
waking life. But I had magic now. I wielded the hand of blood. I put my
bleeding hand out toward the boar and thought, Bleed. I made all those
small scratches pour blood. But still the beast fought through the thorns. The
vines ripped from the earth. I thought, More. I made a fist of my hand,
and when I opened it wide, the scratches slashed wide. Hundreds of red mouths,
gaping on that white hide. Blood poured down its sides, and now its squeal was
not a scream of anger, or challenge. It was a squeal of pain. The vines tightened around it of their own accord. The boar’s knees
buckled, and the vines roped it to the frozen ground. It was no longer a white
boar, but a red one. Red with blood. There was a knife in my hand. It was a shining white blade that
glowed like a star. I knew what I needed to do. I walked across the
blood-spattered snow. The boar rolled its eyes at me, but I knew that if it
could, even now, it would kill me. I plunged the knife into its throat, and when the blade came out,
blood gushed into the snow, over my gown, onto my skin. The blood was hot. A
crimson fountain of heat and life. The blood melted the snow down to rich black earth. From that earth
came a tiny piglet, not white this time, but tawny and striped with gold. It
was colored more like a fawn. The piglet cried, but I knew there would be no
answer. I picked it up, and it curled up in my arms like a puppy. It was so
warm, so alive. I wrapped the hooded cloak I now wore around us both. My gown
was black now, not black with blood, but simply black. The piglet settled into
the soft warm cloth. I had boots that were lined with fur, soft and warm. The
white knife was still in my hand, but it was clean, as if the blood had burned
away. I smelled roses. I turned back and found that the white boar’s body
was gone. The thorny vines were covered in green leaves and flowers. The
flowers were white and pink, from palest blush to dark salmon. Some of the
roses were so deeply pink, they were almost purple. The wonderful sweet scent of wild roses filled the air. The dead
trees in the circle were dead no more, but began to bud and leaf as I watched.
The thaw spread from the boar’s death and that spill of warm blood. The tiny piglet was heavier. I looked down and found that it had
doubled in size. I put it onto the melting snow, and as the boar had gotten
bigger, so now this piglet grew. Again, I could not see the change, but like a
flower unfurling undetectably, it changed all the same. I began to walk over the snow, and the rapidly growing pig came at
my side like an obedient dog. Where we stepped the snow melted, and life
returned to the land. The pig lost its baby stripes, and grew black and as tall
at the shoulder as my waist, and still it grew. I touched its back, and the
hair was not soft, but coarse. I stroked its side, and it nestled against me.
We walked the land, and where we walked, the world became green once more. We came to the crest of a small hill, where a slab of stone lay
grey and cold in the growing light. Dawn had come, breaking like a crimson
wound across the eastern sky. The sun returns in blood, and dies in blood. The boar had tusks now, small curling things, but I wasn’t afraid.
He nuzzled my hand, and his snout was softer, and more nimble, more like a
great finger, than any pig’s snout I’d ever touched. He made a sound that was
pleasant and made me smile. Then he turned and ran down the other side of the
hill, with his tail straight out behind him like a flag. Everywhere his hooves touched,
the earth sprang green. A robed figure was beside me on the hill, but it was not the
grey-robed figure of the crone Goddess in winter. This was a male figure taller
than I, broad of shoulder, and cloaked in a hood as black as the boar that was
growing small in the distance. He held out his hands, and in them was a horn. The curved tusk of a
great boar. It was white and fresh, with blood still on it, as if he had just
that moment cut it from the white boar. But as I moved over toward him, the
horn became clean and polished, as if with many years of use, as if many hands
had touched it. The horn was no longer white, but a rich amber color that spoke
of age. Just before I touched his hands, I realized the horn was set in gold,
formed into a cup. I laid my hands on either side of his and found that his hands were
as dark as his cloak, but I knew this was not my Doyle, my Darkness. This was
the God. I looked up into his hood and saw for an instant the boar’s head; then
I saw a human mouth that smiled at me. His face, like the face of the Goddess,
was covered in shadow—for the face of deity was ever a mystery. He wrapped my hands around the smooth horn of the cup, the carved
gold almost soft under my fingers. He pressed my hands to the cup. I wondered,
where had the white knife gone? A deep voice that was no man’s voice and every man’s voice said,
“Where it belongs.” The knife appeared in the cup, blade-down, and it was
shining again, as if a star had fallen into that cup of horn and gold. “Drink
and be merry.” He laughed then at his own pun. He raised the shining cup to my
lips and vanished to the warm sound of his own laughter. I drank from the horn and found it full of the sweetest mead I had
ever drunk, thick with honey, and warm as if the heat of the summer itself
slipped across my tongue, caressed my throat. I swallowed and it was more
intoxicating than any mere drink. Power is the most intoxicating drink of all. I WOKE SURROUNDED BY A CIRCLE OF FACES, IN A
BED THAT WAS not mine. Faces the color of darkest night, whitest snow,
the pale green of new leaves, the gold of summer sunshine, the brown of leaves
trodden underfoot destined to be rich earth. But there was no pale skin that
held all the colors of a brilliant crystal, like a diamond carved into flesh. I
blinked up at all of them, and wondered—remembering my dream—where were the
cookies? Doyle’s voice, deep and thick, as if it came from a great distance,
said, “Princess Meredith, are you well?” I sat up, nude in the bed with black silk sheets, cold against my
skin. The queen had loaned us her room for the night. Real fur, soft and nearly
alive, pressed against my hip. The fur covering moved, and Kitto’s face blinked
up at me. His huge blue eyes dominated his pale face and held no white in all
that color. The color was Seelie sidhe, but the eyes themselves were goblin. He
had been a child of the last great goblin–sidhe war. His pale perfect body was
barely four feet tall, a delicate man, the only one of my men who was shorter
than I was. He looked child-like cuddled down in the fur, his face framed like
some cherub for a Valentine’s Day card. He had been more than a thousand years
old before Christianity was a word. He’d been part of my treaty with the
goblins. They were my allies because he shared my bed. His hand found my arm and stroked up and down my skin, seeking
comfort as we all did when we were nervous. He didn’t like me staring at him
without saying anything. He had been curled up close to me, and the power of
the Goddess and the God in my dream must have slipped across his skin. The
faces of the fifteen men standing in their circle around the bed showed clearly
that they had felt something, too. Doyle repeated his question: “Princess Meredith, are you well?” I looked at my captain of the guard, my lover, his face as black as
the cloak I had worn in vision, or the fur of the boar that had run out into
the snow and brought spring back to the land. I had to close my eyes and
breathe deeply, trying to break free of the last vestiges of vision and dream.
Trying to be in the here and now. I raised my hands from the tangle of sheets. In my right hand was a
cup formed of horn, the horn ancient and yellowed, held in gold that bore
symbols that few outside faerie could read now. In my left hand I expected to
find the white knife, but it was not there. My left hand was empty. I stared at
it for a moment, then raised the cup with both hands. “My God,” Rhys whispered, though the whisper was strangely loud. “Yes,” Doyle said, “that is exactly what it is.” “What did he say when he gave you the cup of horn?” It was Abe who
asked. Abe with his hair striped in shades of pale grey, dark grey, black, and
white, perfect strands of color. His eyes were a few shades darker grey than
most human eyes, but not otherworldly, not really. If you dressed him like a
modern Goth, he’d be the hit of any club scene. His eyes were strangely solemn. He’d been the drunk and joke of the
court for more years than I could remember. But now there was a different
person looking out from his face, a glimpse of what he might once have been.
Someone who thought before he spoke, someone who had other preoccupations than
getting drunk as quickly and as often as he could. Abe swallowed hard and asked again, “What did he say?” I answered him this time. “Drink and be merry.” Abe smiled, wistful, sorrow-filled. “That sounds like him.” “Like who?” I asked. “The cup used to be mine. My symbol.” I crawled to the edge of the bed and knelt on it. I held the cup up
with both hands toward him. “Drink and be merry, Abeloec.” He shook his head. “I do not deserve the God’s favor, Princess. I
do not deserve anyone’s favor.” I suddenly knew—not by way of a vision—I just suddenly possessed
the knowledge. “You weren’t thrown out of the Seelie Court for seducing the
wrong woman, as everyone believes. You were thrown out because you lost your
powers, and once you could no longer make the courtiers merry with drink and
revelry, Taranis kicked you out of the golden court.” A tear trembled on the edge of one eye. Abeloec stood there,
straight and proud in a way that I had never seen him. I’d never seen him
sober, as he appeared to be now. Clearly he’d drunk to forget, but he was still
immortal and sidhe, which meant that no drug, no drink, could ever truly help
him find oblivion. He could be clouded, but never truly know the rush of any
drug. He finally nodded, and that was enough to spill the tear onto his
cheek. I caught the tear on the edge of the horn cup. That tiny drop seemed to
race down the inside of the cup faster than gravity should pull it. I don’t
know if the others could see what was happening, but Abe and I watched the tear
race for the bottom of that cup. The tear slid inside the dark curve of the
bottom, and suddenly there was liquid spilling up, bubbling up like a spring
from the dark inner curve of the horn. Deep gold liquid filled the cup to its brim, and the smell of honey
and berries and the pungent smell of alcohol filled the room. Abe’s hands cupped over mine in the same way I had held the cup in
the vision with the God. I raised it up, and as Abeloec’s lips touched the rim,
I said, “Drink and be merry. Drink and be mine.” He hesitated before he drank, and I observed an intelligence in
those grey eyes that I’d never glimpsed before. He spoke with his lips brushing
the edge of the cup. He wanted to drink. I could feel it in the eager tremble
in his hands as they covered mine. “I belonged to a king once. When I was no longer his court fool, he
cast me out.” The trembling in his hands slowed, as if each word steadied him.
“I belonged to a queen once. She hated me, always, and made certain by her
words and her deeds that I knew just how much she hated me.” His hands were
warm and firm against mine. His eyes were deep, dark grey, charcoal grey, with
a hint of black somewhere in the center. “I have never belonged to a princess,
but I fear you. I fear what you will do to me. What you will make me do to
others. I fear taking this drink and binding myself to your fate.” I shook my head but never lost the concentration of his eyes. “I do
not bind you to my fate, Abeloec, nor me to yours. I merely say, drink of the
power that was once yours to wield. Be what you once were. This is not my gift
to give to you. This cup belongs to the God, the Consort. He gave it to me and
bid me share it with you.” “He spoke of me?” “No, not you specifically, but he bid me to share it with others.
The Goddess told me to give you all something else to eat.” I frowned, unsure
how to explain everything I’d seen, or done. Vision is always more sensible
inside your head than on your tongue. I tried to put into words what I felt in my heart. “The first drink
is yours, but not the last. Drink, and we will see what happens.” “I am afraid,” he whispered. “Be afraid, but take your drink, Abeloec.” “You do not think less of me for being afraid.” “Only those who have never known fear are allowed to think less of
others for being afraid. Frankly, I think anyone who has never been afraid of
anything in their entire life is either a liar or lacks imagination.” It made him smile, then laugh, and in that laughter I heard the
echo of the God. Some piece of Abeloec’s old godhead had kept this cup safe for
centuries. Some shadow of his old power had waited and kept watch. Watched for
someone who could find their way through vision to a hill on the edge of winter
and spring; on the edge of darkness and dawn; a place between, where mortal and
immortal could touch. His laughter made me smile, and there were answering chuckles from
around the room. It was the kind of laughter that would be infectious. He would
laugh and you would have to laugh with him. “Just by holding the cup in your hand,” Rhys said, “your laughter
makes me smile. You haven’t been that amusing in centuries.” He turned his
boyishly handsome face to us, with its scars where his other tricolored blue
eye would have been. “Drink, and see what is left of who you thought you were,
or don’t drink, and go back to being shadow and a joke.” “A bad joke,” Abeloec said. Rhys nodded and came to stand close to us. His white curls fell to
his waist, framing a body that was the most seriously muscled of any of the
guards. He was also the shortest of them, a full-blooded sidhe who was only
five foot six—unheard of. “What do you have to lose?” “I would have to try again. I would have to care again,” said Abe.
He stared at Rhys as completely as he had at me, as if what we were saying
meant everything. “If all you want is to crawl back into another bottle or another
bag of powder, then do it. Step away from the cup and let someone else drink,”
Rhys said. A look of pain crossed Abeloec’s face. “It’s mine. It’s part of who
I was.” “The God didn’t mention you by name, Abe,” Rhys said. “He told her
to share, not who with.” “But it’s mine.” “Only if you take it,” Rhys said, and his voice was low and clear,
and somehow gentle, as if he understood more than I did why Abe was afraid. “It’s mine,” Abe said again. “Then drink,” Rhys said, “drink and be merry.” “Drink and be damned,” Abeloec said. Rhys touched his arm. “No, Abe, say it, and do your best to believe
it. Drink and be merry. I’ve seen more of us come back into our power than you
have. The attitude affects it, or can.” Abeloec started to let go of the cup, but I moved off the bed and
came to stand in front of him. “You will bring everything you learned in this
long sad time with you, but you will still be you. You will be who you were,
just older and wiser. Wisdom bought at great cost is nothing to regret.” He stared down at me with his eyes a dark and perfect grey. “You
bid me drink.” I shook my head. “No. It must be your choice.” “You will not command me?” I shook my head again. “The princess has some very American views on freewill,” Rhys said. “I take that as a compliment,” I said. “But…,” Abe said, softly. “Yes,” Rhys said, “it means it’s all on you. Your choice. Your
fate. All in your hands. Enough rope to hang yourself, as they say.” “Or save yourself,” Doyle said, and he came to stand on the other
side, like a taller darkness to Rhys’s white. Abeloec and I stood with white on
one side, black on the other. Rhys had once been Cromm Cruach, a god of death
and life. Doyle was the queen’s chief assassin, but once he had been Nodons, a
god of healing. We stood between them, and when I looked up at Abeloec
something moved in his eyes, some shadow of that person I had glimpsed on the
hill inside the hood of a cloak. Abeloec raised the cup, taking my hands with it. We raised the cup
together and he lowered his head. His lips hesitated for a breath on the edge
of that smooth horn, then he drank. He kept tipping the cup back, until he had to drop to his knees so
that my hands stayed on the cup while he upended it. He drank it down in one
long swallow. On his knees, releasing the cup, he threw his head back, eyes
closed. His body bent backward, until he lay in a pool of his own striped hair,
his knees still bent underneath him. He lay for a moment so still, so very
still, that I feared for him. I waited for his chest to rise and fall. I willed
him to breathe, but he didn’t. He lay like one asleep, except for the odd angle of his legs—no one
slept like that. His face had smoothed out, and I realized that Abe was one of
the few sidhe who had permanent worry lines, tiny wrinkles at eye and mouth.
They smoothed in his sleep, if it was sleep. I dropped to my knees beside him, the cup still in my hands. I
leaned over him, touched the side of his face. He never moved. I placed my hand
on the side of his face and whispered his name: “Abeloec.” His eyes flew open wide. It startled me. Drew a soft gasp from my
lips. He grabbed my wrist at his face, and his other arm wrapped around my
waist. He sat up, or knelt up, in one powerful movement, with me in his arms.
He laughed, and it wasn’t a mere echo of what I’d heard in my vision. The laughter
filled the room, and the other men laughed with him. The room rang with joyous
masculine laughter. I laughed with him, them. It was impossible not to laugh with the
pure joy in his face so close to mine. He leaned in, closing the last inches
between our mouths. I knew he was going to kiss me, and I wanted him to. I
wanted to feel that laughter inside me. His mouth pressed against mine. A great cry went up among the men,
joyous and rough. His tongue licked light along my bottom lip, and I opened my
mouth to him. He thrust himself inside my mouth, and suddenly all I could taste
was honey and fruit, and mead. It wasn’t just his symbol. He was the cup, or
what it contained. His tongue shoved inside me until I had to open my mouth
wide or choke. And it was like swallowing the thick, golden honeyed mead. He
was the intoxicating cup. I was on the floor with him on top of me, but he was too tall to
kiss me deeply and press much of anything else against my naked body at the
same time. Beneath us was a fur throw that lay on the stone floor. It tickled
along my skin, helped every movement he made be something more, as if the fur
were helping caress me. Our skin began to glow as if we’d swallowed the moon at her ripe
bursting fullness, and her light was shining out from our skin. The white
streaks in his hair showed a pale luminous blue. His charcoal-grey eyes stayed
strangely dark. I knew that my eyes glowed, each circle of color, green of
grass, pale green jade, and that molten gold. I knew that every circle of my iris
glowed. My hair cast a reddish light around my vision: It shone like spun
garnets with fire inside them when I glowed. His eyes were like some deep, dark cave where the light could not
go. Abruptly, I realized that for a long while, we hadn’t been kissing.
We’d simply been staring into each other’s faces. I leaned up toward him,
wrapped my hands around him. I’d forgotten I still held the cup in one hand,
and it touched his bare back. His spine bowed, and liquid poured across his
skin; though the cup had been emptied before, it was full again. Heavy, cool
liquid rushed down his body and over mine, drenching us in that thick golden
flow. Pale blue lines danced across his skin. I couldn’t tell if they
were under his skin, inside his body, or on the surface of his glowing torso.
He kissed me. He kissed me deep and long, and this time he didn’t taste like
mead. He tasted of flesh, of lips and mouth and tongue, and the graze of teeth
along my lower lip. And still the mead ran down our bodies, spreading out, out into
a golden pool. The fur underneath us flattened in the tide of it. He spilled his mouth and hands down my body, over my breasts. He
held them in his hands, gently, caressed my nipples with his lips and tongue
until I cried out, and I felt my body grow wet, but not from the spreading
golden pool of mead. I watched the pale blue lines on his arm flow into shapes, flowers
and vines, and move down his hand and across my skin. It felt as if someone
traced a feather across my skin. A voice cried out, and it wasn’t me, and it wasn’t Abeloec. Brii
had fallen to his hands and knees, his long yellow hair spilling down into the
growing pool of mead. Abeloec sucked harder on my breast, forcing my attention back to
him. His eyes still didn’t glow, but there was that intensity in them that is a
kind of magic, a kind of power. The power that all men have when they spill
themselves down your body with skilled hands and mouth. He moved his mouth over me, drinking where the mead had pooled in
the hollow of my stomach. He licked the tender skin just above the hair that
curled between my legs. His tongue pressed in long sure strokes over such
innocent skin. It made me wonder what it would be like when he dropped lower to
things that weren’t so innocent. A man’s strangled cry made me look away from Abeloec’s dark eyes. I
knew that voice. Galen had fallen to his knees. His skin was a green so pale it
was white, but now green lines traced his skin, glowing, writhing under his
skin. Forming vines and flowers, pictures. Other cries drew my attention to the
rest of the room. Of the fifteen guards, most were on their knees, or worse.
Some had fallen flat to the floor to writhe on their stomachs, as if they were
trapped in the flowing golden liquid, as if it were liquid amber and they were
insects about to be caught forever. And they fought against their fate. Lines of blue, or green, or red, traced their bodies. I caught
glimpses of animals, vines, images drawn over their skin, like tattoos that
were alive and growing. Doyle and Rhys stood in the growing tide and seemed unmoved. But
Doyle stared at his hands and arms, at lines tracing those strong arms, crimson
against that blackness. Rhys’s body was painted with palest blue, but he didn’t
watch the lines; he watched me and Abeloec. Frost, also, stood in the writhing
spill of liquid, but he, like Doyle, stared at the tracing of lines that glowed
over his skin. Nicca stood tall and straight with his brown hair and the
brilliant spill of his wings, like the sails of some faerie ship, but no lines
covered his skin: He remained untouched. It was Barinthus, tallest of all the sidhe, who had moved to the
door. He stood pressed to it, avoiding the spill of mead that seemed to creep
like a thing alive across the floor. He held on to the door handle as if it
would not open. As if we were trapped here until the magic had its way with us. A small sound drew me back to gaze at the bed, and Kitto still
perched there, safe above the flowing mead. His eyes were wide, as if he was
afraid, regardless. He was afraid of so much. Abeloec rubbed his cheek across my thigh. It brought me back to
him. Back to gazing into those dark, almost human eyes. The glow of his skin
and mine had dimmed. I realized that he’d paused to let me look around the
room. Now his hands slid under my thighs, and he lowered his face,
hesitating, as if he were coming in for a chaste kiss. But what he did with his
mouth wasn’t chaste. He plunged his tongue thick and sure across me. The
sensation threw my head back, bowed my spine. Upside down, I saw the door open, saw the surprised look on the
face of Barinthus as Mistral, the queen’s new captain of the guard, strode in.
His hair the grey of rain clouds. Once he had been the master of storms, a sky
god. Now he strode into the room and slipped on the mead, started to fall. Then
it was as if the world blinked. One moment he was falling near the door; the
next he was above me, falling toward me. He put his hands out to try to catch
himself, and I put my arms up to keep him from falling on top of me. His hand caught the floor, but my hand touched his chest. He
shuddered above me on his knees and one hand, as if I had made his heart
stutter. I touched him through the tough softness of leather armor. He was safe
behind it, but the look on his face was that of a stricken man, eyes wide. He was close enough now that I could see his eyes were the swimming
green of the sky before a great storm breaks, destroying all in its path. Only
great anxiety could bring his eyes to that color, or great anger. Long ago, the
sky itself had changed with the color of Mistral’s eyes. My skin sang to life, glowing like a white-hot star. Abeloec glowed
with me. For the first time, I saw the lines on my own skin, and the writhing
lines of color marched over us, neon blue in the glow. I watched a thorny vine
crawl blue and alive down my hand to unfurl across Mistral’s pale skin. Mistral’s body convulsed above me, and it was as if the lines of
color drew him down toward me; as if they were ropes pulling him down, down.
His eyes stayed unwilling, his body fighting with muscle and might. Only when
he was nearly on top of me and Abeloec, and only the force of his shoulders
held his face above mine, did his eyes change. I watched that frightening storm
green fade from his eyes, replaced with a blue as swimming and pure as a summer
sky. I’d never known his eyes could be that blue. The blue lines in his skin painted a lightning bolt across his
cheek; then his face was too close to mine for me to see details. His mouth was
upon mine, and I kissed Mistral for the second time ever. He kissed me, as if he would breathe the air he needed to live from
my mouth, as if, if his mouth did not touch mine, it would be death. His hands
slid down my body, and when he touched my breasts he made a sound deep in his
throat that was eager—almost a sound of pain. Abeloec chose that moment to remind me that there was more than one
mouth against my body. He fed between my legs with tongue and lips and,
lightly, teeth, so that I made my own eager sounds into Mistral’s mouth. It
drew another of those sounds from him that was both eager and pain-filled, as
if he wanted this so badly that it hurt. His hand convulsed on my breast. Hard
enough that it did hurt, but in that way that pain can feed into pleasure. I writhed
under both their mouths, plunging lips to Mistral, hips to Abeloec. It was at
that moment that the world swam. I THOUGHT AT FIRST IT WAS SIMPLY THE INSIDE OF
MY OWN head, caught in pleasure. But then I realized there was no longer
a fur rug, heavy with mead, under my body. I lay instead on dry twigs that
poked and prodded my bare skin. The shift of surroundings was enough to draw the attention of us
all away from mouths and hands. We were in a dark place, for the only light was
the glow of our bodies. But it was a brighter glow than just the three of us
held. It made me look beyond the men touching me. Frost, Rhys, and Galen were
like pale ghosts of themselves. Doyle was almost invisible except for the lines
of power. There were others glowing in the dark, almost all the vegetative
deities and Nicca, standing with his wings glowing around him. They’d gone back
to being a tattoo on his back until tonight. I didn’t remember Nicca touching
the mead. I looked for Barinthus and Kitto, but they weren’t here. It was as if
the magic had picked and chosen among my men. By the glow of our bodies I saw
dead plants. Withered things. We were in the dead gardens—those once magical underground lands
where legend had it that faerie had its own sun and moon, rain and weather. But
I had never known any of that. The power of the sidhe had faded long before I
was born. The gardens were simply dead now, and the sky overhead was only bare,
empty rock. I heard someone say, “How?” Then those lines of color flared
bright: crimson, neon blue, emerald green in the dark. It forced cries from the
dark, and sent Abeloec’s mouth back between my legs. Mistral’s mouth pressed
into mine, his hands eager on my body. It was a sweet trap, but trap it was,
laid for us by something that cared little for what we wanted. The magic of
faerie held us, and we would not be free until that magic was satisfied. I tried to be afraid, but I couldn’t. There was nothing but the
feel of Abeloec’s and Mistral’s bodies on mine, and the push of the dead earth
underneath me. ABELOEC’S TONGUE MADE LONG, SURE STROKES
AROUND THE edge of my opening, then a caress at the top as he moved
downward again. Mistral’s hands played with my breasts in the same way he
kissed, as if he could not fill his hands with enough of my body, as if the
sensation was something that he had to have. He rolled my nipples between his
fingers, and finally moved his mouth from mine to join his hands at my breasts.
He took one breast into his mouth, as far as he could, as if he would truly eat
my flesh. He sucked hard, and harder, until his teeth began to press into me. Abeloec moved up to that sweet place at the top of my opening and
began to roll his tongue over and around it. Mistral’s teeth pressed in slowly,
as if he were waiting for me to say stop, but I didn’t. The combination of
Abeloec’s mouth, sure and gentle between my legs, and the inexorable pressure
of Mistral’s mouth on my breast, tight and tighter, was exquisite. A soft breeze danced across my skin. A trickle of wind pushed
strands of Mistral’s hair across my body, pulling strands free from his long
ponytail. His teeth continued their relentless press. He was crushing my breast
between his teeth, and it felt so good. Abeloec’s tongue flicked fast and
faster over that one sweet point. The wind blew harder, sending dead leaves skittering across our
bodies. Mistral’s teeth were almost met in my breast, and it hurt now. I
opened my mouth to tell him to stop, but in that moment Abeloec flicked that
one last time I needed. He brought me screaming, my hands flinging outward,
upward, searching for something to hold on to, while Abeloec built the orgasm
with tongue and mouth. My hands found Mistral. I dug nails into his bare arms, and only
when one of my hands reached for his thigh did he grab my wrist. To do it, he
had to release my breast from the prison of his mouth. He pinned my hands into
the dry earth, while I screamed and strained to reach him with nails and teeth.
He stayed just above me, pressing my wrists into the ground. He stared down at
me with eyes flickering with light. My last sight of his eyes, before Abeloec
made me fling my head from side to side, fighting against the pleasure, was
that they were full of lightning, flickering, dancing, so bright it made shadows
on the glow of my skin. Abeloec’s hands dug into my thighs, holding me in place, while I
struggled to break free. It felt so good—so good—that I thought I would lose my
mind if he didn’t stop. So good that I wanted him both to stop, and never to
stop. The wind blew harder. Dried, woody vines screeched in the growing
wind, and trees creaked with protest, as if their dead limbs would not last the
wind. The lines of color that fed out from Abeloec, red and blue and
green, grew brighter with the wind. The colors pulsed bright and brighter.
Maybe because the light was so intensely colored, it didn’t so much push back
the darkness as make the darkness glow—as if the endless night had been brushed
with neon lights. Abeloec let go of my thighs, and the moment he did the lights
dimmed, just a little. He knelt between my legs and began unlacing his
breeches. His modern clothes had been ruined in last night’s assassination
attempt, and he, like most of the men who rarely left faerie, had few things
with zippers or metal buttons. I started to say no, because he hadn’t asked, and because the magic
was receding. I could think again, as if the orgasm had cleared my mind. I was supposed to be having as much sex as I could, for if I didn’t
get with child soon, not only would I never be queen, but I’d probably be dead.
If my cousin Cel got someone with child before I got pregnant, he would be
king, and he would kill me, and all who were loyal to me. It was an incentive
to fuck that no aphrodisiac could match. But there was something sharp under my back, and more smaller pains
up and down my body. Dead branches and bits of plant poking and biting at me. I
hadn’t noticed it until after the orgasm, when the endorphins were receding at
a rapid rate. There’d been almost no afterglow, just mind-blowing orgasm, and
then this feeling of fading, of being aware of every discomfort. If Abeloec had
missionary position in mind, we needed a blanket. It wasn’t like me to lose interest so quickly. If Abeloec was as
talented with other things as he was with his mouth, then he was someone I
wanted to bed, just for sheer pleasure. So why did I suddenly find myself with no
upon my lips and a desire to get up off the ground? THEN A VOICE CAME OUT OF THE GROWING DARK AS
THE LINES of color faded—a voice that froze us all where we were and
sent my heart pounding into my throat. “Well, well, well, I call for my captain
of the guard, Mistral, and he is nowhere to be found. My healer tells me that
you all vanished from the bedroom. I searched for you in the dark, and here you
are.” Andais, Queen of Air and Darkness, stepped out from the far wall. Her
pale skin was a whiteness in the growing dark, but there was light around her,
light as if black could be a flame and give illumination. “If you had stood in the light, I would have not found you, but you
stand in the dark, the deep dark of the dead gardens. You cannot hide from me
here, Mistral.” “No one was hiding from you, my queen,” Doyle said—the first any of
us had spoken since we’d all been brought here. She waved him silent and walked over the dry grass. The wind that
had been whipping the leaves was dying now, as the colors died. The last of the wind fluttered the hem of her black robe. “Wind?”
She made it a question. “There has not been wind in here for centuries.” Mistral had left me to drop to his knees before her. His skin faded
as he moved away from me and Abeloec. I wondered if his eyes still flashed with
lightning, but was betting they did not. “Why did you leave my side, Mistral?” She touched his chin with
long pointed nails, raised his face so he had to look at her. “I sought guidance,” he said in a voice that both was low and
seemed to carry in the growing dark. Now that Abeloec and I had stopped having
sex, all the light was fading, all the flow on everyone’s skin was dying away.
Soon we would stand in a darkness so absolute that you could touch your own
eyeball without first blinking. A cat would be blind in here; even a cat’s eyes
need some light. “Guidance for what, Mistral?” She made of his name an evil whine
that held the threat of pain, as a smell on the wind can promise rain. He tried to bow his head, but she kept her fingertips under his
chin. “You sought guidance from my Darkness?” Abeloec helped me to my feet and held me close, not for romance,
but the way all the fey do when they’re nervous. We touch one another, huddling
in the dark, as if the touch of another’s hand will keep the great bad thing
from happening. “Yes,” Mistral said. “Liar,” the queen said, and the last thing I saw before the
darkness swallowed the world was the gleam of a blade in her other hand. It
flashed from her robe, where she’d hidden it. I spoke before I could think: “No!” Her voice crawled out of the darkness and seemed to creep along my
skin. “Meredith, niece, do you actually forbid me from punishing one of my own
guards? Not one of your guards, but mine, mine!” The darkness was heavier, thicker, and it took more effort to
breathe. I knew she could make the very air so heavy that it would crush the
life out of me. She could make the air so thick that my mortal lungs couldn’t
draw it in. She’d nearly killed me just yesterday, when I interfered in one of
her “entertainments.” “There was wind in the dead gardens.” Doyle’s deep voice came so
low, so deep, that it seemed to vibrate along my spine. “You felt the wind. You
remarked upon the wind.” “Yes, I did, but now it is gone. Now the gardens are dead, dead as
they will always be.” A pale green light sprang from the darkness. Doyle holding a cup of
sickly greenish flames in his hands. It was one of his hands of power. I’d seen
the touch of that fire crawl over other sidhe and make them wish for death. But
as so many things in faerie, it had other uses. It was a welcome light in the
dark. The light showed that it was no longer her fingertips that held
Mistral’s chin upward, but the edge of a blade. Her blade, Mortal Dread. One of
the few things left that could bring true death to the immortal sidhe. “What if the gardens could live again?” Doyle asked. “As the roses
outside the throne room live again.” She smiled most unpleasantly. “Do you propose to spill more of
Meredith’s precious blood? That was the price for the roses’ renewal.” “There are ways to give life that do not require blood,” he said. “You think you can fuck the gardens back to life?” she asked. She
used the edge of the blade to raise Mistral up high on his knees. Doyle said, “Yes.” “This, I would like to see,” she said. “I don’t think it will work if you are here,” Rhys said. A pale
white light appeared over his head. Small, round, a gentle whiteness that
illumined where he walked. It was the light that most of the sidhe, and many of
the lesser fey, could make at will; a small magic that most possessed. If I
wanted light in the dark, I had to find a flashlight or a match. Rhys moved, in his soft circle of light, slowly, toward the queen. She spoke: “A little fucking after a few centuries of celibacy
makes you bold, one-eye.” “The fucking makes me happy,” he said. “This makes me bold.” He
raised his right arm, showing her the underside of it. The light was not strong
enough, and the angle not right, for me to see what was so interesting. She frowned; then, as he moved closer, her eyes widened. “What is
that?” But her hand had lowered enough that Mistral was no longer trying to
raise himself up on his knees to keep from being cut. “It is exactly what you think it is, my queen,” Doyle said. He
began to move closer to her, as well. “Close enough, both of you.” She emphasized her words by forcing
Mistral back high on his knees. “We mean you no harm, my queen,” Doyle said. “Perhaps I mean you harm, Darkness.” “That is your privilege,” he said. I opened my mouth to correct him, because he was my captain of the
guard now. She wasn’t allowed to simply hurt him for the hell of it, not
anymore. Abeloec tightened his hand on my arm. He whispered against my hair,
“Not yet, Princess. The Darkness does not need your help yet.” I wanted to argue, but his reasoning was sound, as far as it went.
I opened my mouth to argue, but as I looked up into his face, the argument fell
away from me. His suggestion just seemed so reasonable. Something bumped my hip, and I realized he was holding the horn
cup. He was the cup, and the cup was him, in some mystical way, but when he
touched it, he became more. More…reasonable. Or rather his suggestions did. I wasn’t sure I liked that he could do that to me, but I let it go.
We had enough problems without getting sidetracked. I whispered, “What is on
Rhys’s arm?” But Abeloec and I stood in the dark, and the Queen of Air and
Darkness could hear anything that was spoken into the air in the dark. She
answered me, “Show her, Rhys. Show her what has made you bold.” Rhys didn’t turn his back on her, but moved sort of sideways toward
us. The soft, white sourceless light moved with him, outlining his upper body.
In a battle it would have been worse than useless; it would have made him a
target. But the immortal don’t sweat things like that—if you can’t die, I guess
you can make as obvious a target of yourself as you like. The light touched us first, like that first white breath of dawn
that slides across the sky, so white, so pure, when dawn is nothing more than
the fading of darkness. As Rhys got closer to us, the white light seemed to
expand, sliding down his body, showing that he was still nude. He held his arm out toward me. There was a pale blue outline of a
fish that stretched from just above his wrist almost to his elbow. The fish was
head-down toward his hand and seemed oddly curved, like a half circle waiting
for its other half. Abeloec touched it much as the queen had done, lightly, with just
his fingertips. “I have not seen that on your arm since I stopped being a pub
keeper.” “I know Rhys’s body,” I said. “It’s never been there before.” “Not in your lifetime,” Abeloec said. I glanced from him to Rhys. To him, I said, “It’s a fish, why…” “A salmon,” he said, “to be exact.” I closed my mouth so I wouldn’t say something stupid. I tried to do
what my father had always taught me to do, think. I thought out loud…“A salmon
means knowledge. One of our legends says that because the salmon is the oldest
living creature, it has all the knowledge since the world began. It means
longevity, because of the same legend.” “Legend, is it?” Rhys said with a smile. “I have a degree in biology, Rhys; nothing you say will convince me
that a salmon predated the trilobites, or even the dinosaurs. Modern fish is
just that, modern, on a geological scale.” Abeloec was looking at me curiously. “I’d forgotten Prince Essus
insisted on you being educated among the humans.” He smiled. “When you’re
reasoning things out, you aren’t as easy to distract.” He tightened his other
hand, with the cup still gripped in it. I frowned, and finally stepped away from him. “Stop that.” “You drank from his cup,” Rhys said. “He should be able to persuade
you of almost anything.” He grinned as he said it. “If you were human.” “I guess she’s not human enough,” Abeloec said. “You’re all acting as if that pale tattoo is important. I don’t
understand why.” “Didn’t Essus ever tell you about it?” asked Rhys. I frowned. “My father didn’t mention anything about a tattoo on
your arm.” The queen made a derisive noise. “Essus didn’t think you were
important enough to be told.” “He didn’t tell her,” Doyle said, “for the same reason that Galen
doesn’t know.” Galen was still lying in the dead garden. All the other men who had
fallen to the ground were still kneeling or sitting in the dead vegetation. A
soft greenish white glow began to form above Galen’s head. Not a nimbus like
that of Rhys, but more of a small ball of light above his head. Galen found his voice, hoarse, and had to clear it sharply before
he said, “I don’t know about any tattoos on Rhys, either.” “None of us has told the younger ones, Queen Andais,” Doyle said.
“Everyone knows that our followers painted themselves with symbols and went
into battle with only those symbols to shield them.” “They eventually learned to wear armor,” Andais said. Her arm had
lowered enough for Mistral to be comfortable on his knees again. “Yes, and only the last few fanatical tribes kept trying to seek
our favor and blessing. They died for that devotion,” Doyle said. “What are you talking about?” I asked. “Once we, the sidhe, their gods, were painted with symbols that
were our sign of blessing from the Goddess and the God. But as our power faded,
so did the marks upon our bodies.” Doyle said it all in his thick-as-molasses
voice. Rhys picked up the story. “Once, if our followers painted their
bodies to mimic us, they gained some of the protection, the magic, that we had.
It was a sign of devotion, yes, but once long, long ago, it literally could
call us to their aid.” He looked at the faint blue fish on his arm. “I have not
held this mark for nearly four thousand years.” “It is faint and incomplete,” the queen said from the far wall. “Yes.” Rhys nodded and looked at her. “But it is a beginning.” Nicca’s voice came soft, and I’d almost forgotten him, standing so
still to one side. His wings began to gleam in the dark, as if their veins had
begun to pulse with light instead of blood. He fanned those huge wings. They
had been only a birthmark on the back of his body until a few days ago, when
they had sprung from his back, real and true at last. They began to glow as if
the individual colors were stained glass gleaming in sunlight that we could not
see. He held out his right hand, and showed us a mark on the outer part
of the wrist, almost on the hand itself. The light was too uncertain for me to
be sure of what it was, but Doyle said, “A butterfly.” “I have never held a mark of favor from the Goddess,” Nicca said in
his soft voice. The queen lowered her blade completely, so that it went back to
being invisible in the full black skirt of her robe. “What of the rest of you?” “You’ll be able to feel it, if you think about it,” Rhys said to
the others. Frost called a ball of light that was a dim silver-grey. It held
above his head much as Galen’s greenish light had. Frost began unbuttoning his
shirt. He rarely went nude if he could avoid it, so I knew before he bared the
perfect curve of his right shoulder that there would be something there. He turned his arm so he could see it. The queen said, “Show us.” He let her see first, then turned in a slow half circle to us. It
was as pale and blue as Rhys’s had been, a small dead tree, leafless, naked,
and the ground underneath it seemed to hint at a snowbank. Like Rhys’s salmon
it was dim, and not drawn in completely, as if someone had begun the job but
not finished. “Killing Frost has never held a sign of favor,” the queen said, and
her voice was strangely unhappy. “No,” Frost said, “I have not. I was not fully sidhe when last the
sidhe held such favors.” He shrugged back into his shirt and began to button it
into place. He wasn’t just dressed, he was armed. Most of the others held a
sword and dagger, but only Doyle and Frost had guns. Rhys had left his gun
behind with his clothes in the bedroom. I noticed a bulge here and there under Frost’s shirt, which meant
he held more weapons than could be easily seen. He liked being armed, but this
many weapons meant something had made him nervous. The assassination attempts,
maybe, or maybe something else. His handsome face was closed to me, hidden
behind the arrogance that he used as a mask. Perhaps he was just hiding his
thoughts and feelings from the queen, but then again…Frost tended to be moody. Rhys said, “Let Abeloec and Merry finish what they began. Let us
all finish it.” Queen Andais took in a deep breath, so that even across the dimly
lit chamber I could see the rise and fall of the V of white flesh in her robe.
“Very well, finish it. Then come to me, for we have much to discuss.” She held
out her hand to Mistral. “Come, my captain, let us leave them to their
pleasures.” Mistral did not question. He stood and took her pale hand. “We need him,” Rhys said. “No,” Andais said, “no, I have given Meredith my green men. She
does not need the whole world.” “Does grass grow without wind and rain?” Doyle asked. “No,” she said, and her voice was unfriendly again, as if she would
like to be angry but couldn’t afford to be right now. Andais was a creature of
her temper; she always indulged it. This much self-restraint from her was rare. “To make spring, you need many things, my queen,” said Doyle.
“Without warmth and water, plants wither and die.” They stared at each other,
the queen and her Darkness. It was the queen who looked away first. “Mistral may stay.” She released his hand, then looked across the
cavern at me. “But let this be understood between us, niece. He is not yours.
He is mine. He is yours only for this space of time. Is that clear to all of
you?” We all nodded. “And you, Mistral,” the queen said. “Do you understand?” “My geas is lifted for this space of time with the princess alone.” “Clearly put, as always,” she said. She turned her back as if she
would walk through the wall, then turned and looked over her shoulder. “I will
finish what I was doing when I noticed your absence, Mistral.” He dropped to his knees. “My queen, please do not do this…” She turned back with a smile that was almost pleasant—except for
the look in her eyes, which even from here was frightening. “You mean, do not
leave you with the princess?” “No, my queen, you know that is not what I mean.” “Do I?” she said, danger in her voice. She glided over the dead
brush and placed the point of Mortal Dread under his chin. “You didn’t come to
ask the advice of my Darkness. You came to bid the princess to intercede for
Nerys’s clan.” Mistral’s shoulders moved as if he’d breathed deeply, or swallowed
hard. “Answer me, Mistral,” she said, a whine of rage like a razor’s edge
in her voice. “Nerys gave her life on your word that you would not kill her
people. You—” He stopped talking abruptly, as if she’d nudged the point close
enough that he couldn’t speak without cutting himself. “Aunt Andais,” I said, “what have you done to Nerys’s people?” “They tried to kill you and me last night, or have you forgotten?” “I remember, but I also remember that Nerys asked you to take her
life, so that you might spare her house. You gave your word that you would let
them live if she died in their place.” “I have not harmed a single one,” she said, and she looked entirely
too pleased with herself. “What does that mean?” I asked. “I merely offered the men a chance to serve their queen as a member
of my royal guard. I need my Ravens at full strength.” “Joining your guard means giving up all family loyalties and
becoming celibate. Why would they agree to either of those things?” I asked. She took the blade away from Mistral’s throat. “You were so eager
to tattle on me. Tell her now.” “May I rise, my queen?” he asked. “Rise, cartwheel—I care not—just tell her.” Mistral rose cautiously, and when she made no move toward him, he
began to ease across the room toward us. His throat was dark in the flickering
lights. She’d bled him. Any sidhe could heal such a small cut, but because
Mortal Dread had done the damage, he would heal mortal slow; human slow. Mistral’s eyes were wide, frightened, but he moved easily across
the dead ground, as if he weren’t worried that she would do something to him as
he walked away from her. I know that my shoulder blades would have been aching
with the fear of the blow. Only when he was out of reach of her sword did some
of the panic leave his eyes. Even then, they were that shade of tornado green.
Anxiety. “Far enough,” she said. “Meredith can hear you from there.” He stopped obediently, but he swallowed hard, as if he didn’t like
that she’d stopped him before he got back to us. I didn’t blame him. The queen
had magic that could destroy from this distance. She’d probably made him stop
just so he would worry. She might intend him no more harm, but she wanted him
to be afraid. She liked for people to be afraid of her. “She has put metal chains of binding on all of the house of Nerys,
so they can do no magic,” said Mistral. “I can’t argue with that,” I said. “They attacked us at court, all
of them. They should lose their magic for a time.” “She has given the men the chance to become her Ravens. The women
she has offered to the prince’s guard, his Cranes.” “Cel is in seclusion, locked away. He needs no guard,” I said. “Most of the women would not agree to it, anyway,” Mistral said.
“But the queen had to be seen giving them all a choice.” “A choice between becoming guards and what?” I asked. I was almost
afraid of the answer. She’d been carrying Mortal Dread. I prayed that she
hadn’t executed them. She would be forsworn before the entire court. And I
needed Andais on the throne until she confirmed me as her heir. “The queen has bid Ezekiel and his helpers to wall them up alive,”
said Mistral. I blinked at him. I couldn’t quite follow it all. My first thought
was to protest that the queen was forsworn; then I realized she wasn’t.
“They’re immortal, so they won’t die,” I said, softly. “They will know terrible hunger and thirst, and they will wish to
die,” Mistral said, “but no, they are immortal, and they will not die.” I looked past him to my aunt. “Tricksy you,” I said. “Very damn
clever.” She gave a little bow from the neck. “So glad you appreciate the
delicate reasoning of it.” “Oh, I do,” and I meant it. “You’ve broken no oath. In fact,
technically, you’re doing exactly what Nerys gave her life for. Her clan, her
house, her bloodline will live.” “That is not living,” Mistral said. “Did you really think that the princess had enough influence with
me to save them from their fate?” asked Andais. “Once I would have gone to Essus, to ask his help with you,”
Mistral said. “So I sought the princess.” “She is not my brother,” Andais snarled. “No, she is not Essus,” Mistral said, “but she is his child. She is
your blood.” “And what does that mean, Mistral? That she can bargain for Nerys’s
people? They have already been bargained for, by Nerys herself.” “You are pixieing on the spirit of that bargain,” Rhys said. “But not breaking it,” she said. “No,” he said, and he looked so sad. “No, the sidhe never lie, and
we always keep our word. Except our version of the truth can be more dangerous
than any lie, and you’d better think through every word of any oath we give our
word to, because we will find a way to make you regret you ever met us.” He
sounded more angry than sad. “Do you dare to criticize your queen?” she asked. I touched Rhys’s arm, squeezed. He looked first at my hand, then at
my face. Whatever he saw there made him take a deep breath and shake his head.
“No one would dare to do that, Queen Andais.” His voice was resigned again. “What would you give for a sign that life was returning to the
gardens?” Doyle asked. “What do you mean by sign?” she asked, and her voice held
all the suspicion of someone who knew us all too well. “What would you give for some hint of life here in the gardens?” “A
little wind is not a sign,” she said. “But would the beginnings of life here in the gardens be worth
nothing to you, my queen?” “Of course it would be worth something.” “It could mean that our power was returning,” Doyle said. She motioned with the sword, silver gleaming dully in the light. “I
know what it would mean, Darkness.” “And a return of our power, what would that be worth to you,
Queen?” “I know where you are going, Darkness. Do not try to play such
games with me. I invented these games.” “Then I will not play. I will state plainly. If we can bring some
hint of life to these underground worlds, then you will wait to punish, in any
way, Nerys’s people. Or anyone else.” A smile as cruel and cold as a winter morning curved her lips.
“Good catch, Darkness, good catch.” My throat was tight with the realization that if he’d forgotten the
last phrase, others would have paid for her anger. Someone who would have
mattered to Doyle, or me, or both, if she could have found them. Rhys was
right: This was a dangerous game, this game of words. “For what shall I wait?” she asked. “For us to bring life to the dead gardens, of course,” he said. “And if you do not bring life to the dead gardens, then what?” “Then when we are all convinced that the princess and her men
cannot bring life back to the gardens, you are free to do with Nerys’s people as
you intended.” “And if you do bring life to the gardens, what then?” she asked. “If we bring even a hint of life back to the gardens, you will let
Princess Meredith choose the punishment of those who tried to have her
assassinated.” She shook her head. “Clever, Darkness, but not clever enough. If
you bring a hint of life back to the gardens, then I will allow Meredith to
punish Nerys’s people.” It was his turn to shake his head. “If the Princess Meredith and
some of her men bring even a hint of life back to these gardens, then Meredith
alone decides what punishment shall be meted out to Nerys’s people.” She seemed to think about that for a moment or two, then nodded.
“Agreed.” “You give your word, the word of the queen of the Unseelie Court?” he asked. She nodded. “I do.” “Witnessed,” Rhys said. She waved her hand dismissively. “Fine, fine, you have your
promise. But remember, I have to agree that there is at least a hint of life.
It better be some evidence impressive enough that I can’t pixie out of it, Darkness,
because you know I will, if I can.” “I know,” he said. She looked at me, then. It was not a friendly look. “Enjoy Mistral,
Meredith. Enjoy him and know that he comes back to me when this is done.” “Thank you for loaning him to me,” I said, and kept my voice
absolutely empty. She made a face at me. “Don’t thank me, Meredith—not yet. You’ve
only bedded him once.” She motioned at me with the sword. “Though I see that
you have found what he considers pleasure: He likes to cause pain.” “I would have thought that he would be your ideal lover then, Aunt
Andais.” “I like to cause pain, niece Meredith, not be on the receiving
end.” I swallowed hard, so I wouldn’t say what I was thinking. I finally
managed, “I did not know that you were a pure sadist, Aunt Andais.” She frowned at me. “Pure sadist—that’s an odd phrase.” “I meant only that I didn’t know you didn’t like pain on your own
body at all.” “Oh, I like a little teeth, a little nails, but not like that.”
Again she motioned at my breast. It ached where he’d bitten me, and I had a
near-perfect imprint of his teeth, though he hadn’t broken the skin. I would be
bruised, but nothing more. She shook her head, as if to chase away a thought, then turned, and
the motion caused her black robe to swirl wide. She grabbed the edge of it, to
pull it around herself. She looked back over her shoulder one last time before
she stepped into the darkness and traveled back the way she’d come. Her last
words were not a comfort. “After Mistral’s had his way with her, do not come
crying to me that he’s broken your little princess.” And the piece of darkness
where she had been was empty. So many of us let out a sigh of relief at the same time that it was
like the sound of wind in the trees. Someone gave a nervous laugh. “She is right about one thing,” Mistral said, and his eyes held
regret. “I like causing a little pain. I am sorry if I hurt you, but it has
been so long since…” He spread his hands wide. “I forgot myself. I am sorry for
that.” Rhys laughed, and Doyle joined him, and finally even Galen and
Frost joined in that soft masculine sound. “Why do you laugh?” Mistral asked. Rhys turned to me, his face still shining with laughter. “Do you
want to tell him, or do we?” I actually blushed, which I almost never do. I kept Abe’s hand in
mine and drew us both across the dry, brittle grass until I stood in front of
Mistral. I looked at the blood that trickled dark across his pale neck and
gazed up into his eyes, so anxious. I had to smile. “I like what you did to my
breast. That’s just about as hard as I like it, just this side of drawing blood
with teeth.” He frowned at me. “You like the nail work to be harder than the teeth,” Rhys said.
“You don’t mind bleeding a little from nails.” “But only if you’ve done the preliminaries,” I said. “Preliminaries?” Mistral said, and sounded puzzled. “Foreplay,” Abeloec said. The puzzled look faded, and something else entirely filled his
eyes. Something warm and sure of itself, something that made me shiver just
from him looking at me. “I can do that,” he said. “Then take off the armor,” I said. “What?” he asked. “Get naked,” Rhys called. “I can speak for myself, thank you,” I said, glancing back at him. He made a little motion as if to say, Be my guest. I turned
back to Mistral. I gazed up into his face, and found that his eyes were already
beginning to fade to a soft grey, like rain clouds. I smiled at him, and he
smiled back, a little uncertainly, as if he wasn’t used to smiling much. “Get naked,” I said. He grinned, a brief flash of it. “Then what?” “We have sex.” “I’m first,” Abeloec said, hugging me from behind. I nodded. “Agreed.” Mistral’s face darkened; I could almost see clouds in his eyes. Not
just the color of the irises, but the actual image of clouds floating in the
pupils. “Why is he first?” he asked. “Because he can be part of the foreplay,” I said. “She means, once I’ve fucked her, then you can do it rougher,” said
Abeloec. Mistral smiled again, but this smile was different. This was a
smile that made me breathe harder. “You really liked what I did to your
breast?” he asked. I swallowed hard, pressing myself against Abeloec’s body, almost as
if I were afraid of the taller man in front of me. I nodded and whispered,
“Yes.” “Good,” he said, and he reached for the leather fastenings that held
his armor in place. “Very good,” he whispered. THE MOMENT ABELOEC LAID ME DOWN ON A BED OF
CASTOFF clothes, our skin began to glow. It was a thin layer of my
guards’ shirts and tunics, just enough so that I wouldn’t pierce my body on the
dead vegetation. It amounted to all the clothing the men were wearing, which
hadn’t been much—and it left them all nude. I could still feel the dry sticks,
crumbling leaves, dry and withered, crushed underneath me. It wasn’t the feel of the ground in winter. No matter how cold the
winter, how deep the snow, there is a feeling of waiting in the ground then—a
sense that the land is merely asleep, and the sun will wake it, and spring will
come. Not here. It was like the difference between a body that is deeply asleep
and one that is dead. At a glance, your eyes may see no difference, but if you
touch it, you know. The ground that Abeloec’s body pressed me into held
nothing—no warmth, breath, life. Empty, like the eyes of the dead that but a
moment ago held personality, and now are like dark mirrors. The gardens weren’t
waiting for reawakening; they were just dead. But we weren’t dead. Abeloec laid his naked body against mine and kissed me. The height
difference meant that all he could do was kiss me, but it was enough. Enough to
conjure that moonglow inside our bodies. He raised up on his arms to stare down at my face. His skin glowed
so bright that again his eyes became like dark grey caves in his face. I’d
never met any sidhe whose eyes did not glow when their power came upon them.
His long hair spilled out around us, and the white lines in his hair began to
glow softly blue, like before. He raised higher on his arms, almost in a
push-up, so that his body was suspended above mine on hands and toes. Pale blue lines glowed through the white of his skin. Flowing
images of vines and flowers, and trees, and animals. Nothing stayed, nothing
lasted. There weren’t that many lines, and they didn’t move that fast. I should
have been able to tell what kind of vine, what fruit, what animal, but beyond
small, or large, it was as if my mind couldn’t hold the images. I traced the blue with my fingers, and it trailed over my hand,
tickled and teased across the white glow of my own skin. And even staring at my
own hand, I couldn’t tell you what plant it was that grew and flowered there.
It was as if I weren’t meant to see it, or at least not to understand it. Not
yet, maybe not ever. I stopped trying to make sense of the flowing lines, and gazed down
the length of Abeloec’s body where it stretched above mine. He held himself
above me like a shelter, as if he could have stayed there forever and never
tired. I reached down his body, worming underneath his steady strength, until I
could wrap my hand around the hard length of him. He shuddered above me. “I should be touching you.” His voice was
strained, thick with effort, but effort for what? His arms and shoulders, and
legs, were utterly still above me as if he were stone instead of flesh. It
wasn’t his strength that gave his voice that thick sound. At least not strength
of body. Maybe strength of will. I squeezed gently around his shaft, and he was hard, so terribly
hard. His breathing changed, and I could see his stomach fluttering with the
effort to stay steady above me. “How long has it been?” I asked. “I don’t remember,” he said. I stroked my hand up and over the head of him. His spine bowed
downward, and he almost fell on top of me, but then his arms and legs went back
to their firm stance. “I thought the sidhe did not lie.” “I do not remember exactly,” he said. His voice was breathy
now. I slid my other hand down to cup his balls and gently play with
them. He swallowed hard enough for me to hear it, and said, “If you keep
doing that, I’ll go, and that’s not how I want to go the first time.” I continued to play with him, gently. He was so hard, quiveringly
hard. Just holding him in my hands, I knew that the phrase aching with need
wasn’t merely words. He glowed and I could feel the power in him, but he did
not throb with it the way the others did. It was a quieter power, this. “What do you want the first time?” I asked, and my voice had gone
deeper, thickening with the feel of him in my hands. “I want to be inside you, between your legs—I want to make you come
before I do. But I do not know if I still have that kind of discipline.” “Then don’t be disciplined. This time, the first time, don’t worry
about it.” He shook his head, and the blue lines in his hair seemed to pulse
brighter. “I want to bring you such pleasure that you will want me in your bed
every night. So many men, Meredith, so many men in your bed. I don’t want to
wait my turn. I want you to come to me again and again, because no one brings
you as much pleasure as I do.” A sound made us both turn our heads; we found Mistral kneeling
beside us. “Hurry up and finish this, Abeloec, or I will not wait to be
second.” “Would you not worry, as I do, that you pleasure the princess?”
Abeloec asked. “Unlike you, I’ll have no second chance here, Abeloec. The queen
has decreed that this time is all I will ever have with the princess. So no, I
am not so worried about my performance.” He ran his hand through my hair,
pushing deep so that his fingers brushed my scalp. It made me cuddle my head
against his hand. He closed his fingers into a fist, and was suddenly jerking
my hair tight in his hand. It sped my pulse in my throat, tearing a sound from
my mouth that was not pain. My skin blazed to white-hot life. “We do not have to be gentle,” Mistral said. He leaned his face
near mine. “Do we, Princess?” I whispered, “No.” He pulled my hair tighter, and I cried out. I felt rather than saw
some of the other men move toward us. Mistral pulled my hair tight again,
bending my neck to one side, moving my body a little out from under Abeloec. “I
am not hurting you, am I, Princess?” “No.” All I could do was whisper. “I don’t think they heard you,” he said. He twisted his hand tight
and sudden in my hair. He put his lips against my cheek and whispered, “Scream
for me.” The blue lines crawled from my skin to his, and again I saw that
outline of lightning on his cheek. I whispered, “What will you do, if I don’t scream?” He kissed me, ever so gently against my cheek. “Hurt you.” My breath came out in a shudder. “Please,” I sighed. Mistral laughed, a wonderful deep laugh, with his face pressed
against mine and his hand still tight in my hair. “Hurry, Abeloec, hurry, or we
will have to fight to see who is first.” He let go of my hair so abruptly that
this motion, too, hurt a little, and forced a sound from me. Mistral turned me
back over to Abeloec with my eyes unfocused, and my breath either coming too
fast or nearly stopping for a moment—I couldn’t quite tell. My pulse seemed
uncertan if I was afraid or thrilled. But it was as if now that Mistral touched
me again, he could not quite give up touching me. He kept his fingers against
the side of my neck, as if he wanted to help my pulse decide. “I do not like to cause pain,” Abeloec said. His body was not quite
as happy as it had been. “Pain is not the only way to pleasure,” I said. His dark eyes narrowed at me from the shine of his face. “You do
not have to have pain to be pleasured?” I shook my head, feeling the lingering ache where Mistral’s hand
had been. “No.” Doyle’s deep voice came out of the dark. “Meredith likes violence,
but she also likes gentleness. It depends on her mood, and yours.” Both Abe and Mistral looked at him. “The queen cares nothing for
our moods,” Mistral said. “This one will,” Doyle said. Abeloec looked down at me and began to slowly lower himself toward
my body, for all the world like a push-up, except that I was in the way. His
mouth found mine before his body pressed into me. He kissed me, and the blue
was neon-bright and flared with lines of crimson and emerald. The lines of
color flared down Mistral’s hand, and it felt as if those lines were made of
rope, drawing his mouth to mine, and drawing Abeloec down my body. He half
knelt and half lay across my lower body. He spread my legs so that his body
spilled between them. But it was his finger that found me first—testing the
waters, I think. His voice was strangled as he said, “You’re still wet.” I would have answered but Mistral’s mouth found mine, and I gave
the only answer I could. I raised my hips toward Abeloec’s searching hand. The
next thing I felt was his hands moving to my hips. The tip of him of him
rubbing against my opening. Mistral raised his mouth from mine and half whispered, half
groaned, “Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her, please,” and the last word was drawn
out into a long sigh that ended in something close to a scream. Abeloec pushed himself inside me, and only then did he begin to
throb with power. It was almost like some huge vibrator, except this vibrator
was warm and alive, and had a mind and a body behind it. That mind moved the body in rhythms that no mere mechanical aid
could ever have produced. I watched Abeloec push in and out of my body like
some shining shaft of light, though it was undoubtedly flesh that went in and
out of me. Soft, firm, vibrating flesh. Mistral grabbed my hair again, pulled my head back so that I could
no longer watch Abeloec work his magic in my body. The look on Mistral’s face
would have frightened me if we’d been alone. He kissed me hard, so hard that it
was bruising. I had a choice of opening my mouth to him or cutting my lips on
my own teeth. I opened my mouth. His tongue plunged inside me, as if he were trying to do to my
mouth what Abeloec was doing between my legs. It was only his tongue, but he
kept pushing inside, pushing until he shoved my mouth so wide that my jaw began
to ache. He shoved his tongue so far down my throat that I gagged, and he drew
back. I thought he did it to let me swallow and catch my breath, but he drew
back so he could laugh. He let loose a roll of masculine pleasure that spilled
from his mouth and danced over my skin. There was an echo to it, that
laughter—an echo like distant thunder. His pausing gave me a chance to concentrate on Abeloec. He had
found a rhythm that plunged to the end of me, and out, in a rolling slide, a rhythm
that would have brought me eventually. But even beyond that, his body pulsed
inside mine. It was as if his magic throbbed with the rhythm of his body, so
that each time he plunged deep inside me the magic throbbed harder, and
vibrated faster. I took the chance Mistral had given me to say, “Abeloec, are you
making your magic pulse in time to your lovemaking?” His voice came tight with concentration. “Yes.” I started to say, Oh, Goddess, but Mistral’s mouth found
mine again, and I got only as far as, “Oh, God—” Mistral thrust his tongue so deep and hard into my mouth that it
was like oral sex when the man is too big for comfort. If you fight it, it
hurts, but if you relax, sometimes, you can do it. You can let the man have his
way with your mouth without breaking your jaw. I’d never had anyone kiss me
like this, and even as I fought to let him do it, I thought about him being
this forceful with other things, and the thought made me open wider to him,
wider to them both. They were both so skilled, but in such opposite ways that I
wondered what it would be like to have their full attention one at a time. But
there was no way to ask Mistral to wait, to give us room, because I could
barely breathe with his tongue down my throat, let alone speak. I wanted to speak;
I wanted to stop having to fight him to breathe. My jaw was aching hard enough
to distract me from Abeloec’s amazing fucking. Mistral had crossed that line
from feels good to fucking stop. We hadn’t arranged a sign that would let him know I wanted him to
stop. When you can’t speak, you usually have some prearranged way to tap out. I
started pushing at his shoulders, pushing like I meant it. I wasn’t as strong
as a full-blooded sidhe, but I had once put my hand through a car door to scare
away some would-be muggers, if that’s an indication. I had bloodied my hand,
but not broken it. So I pushed, and he pushed back. He had his mouth so far inside mine that I couldn’t even bite him.
I was choking, and he didn’t care. I could feel the orgasm beginning to build. I did not want
Abeloec’s good work spoiled by the fact that I was choking. Nails could be used for pleasure, or to make a point. I set my
nails in the firm flesh of Mistral’s neck and dug them in. I carved bloody
furrows in his skin. He jerked back from me, and seeing the rage on his face,
again, I was glad we weren’t alone. “When I say stop, you stop,” I said. And I realized that I was
angry, too. “You didn’t say stop.” “Because you made certain I couldn’t.” “You said you liked pain.” I was having trouble controlling my breathing, because Abeloec was
still vibrating and moving inside me. I was close. “I like pain to a point, but
not a broken jaw. We’ll need to lay some ground rules before…you…get…your
turn,” and the last word was a scream as I threw my head back and my body
spasmed. Mistral caught my head or I would have smashed it against the hard
ground. Abeloec’s pleasure spread through me, over me, in me, in waves.
Waves of pleasure, waves of power, over and over, as if here, too, he was able
to control what was happening. As if he could control my release the way he’d
controlled everything else. The orgasm would roll over me from my groin to
every inch of my body, then it would start again, spreading from between my
legs over my skin in a rush that sent my hands seeking something to hold on to,
my body thrashing. My entire upper body left the ground and smashed back, over
and over, while Abeloec held my hips and legs trapped against his body. Someone was behind me, catching me, trying to hold me down, but the
pleasure was too much. I could do nothing but struggle and scream, one long
ragged scream after another. My fingers found flesh to tear, and strong hands
held my wrist tight. My other hand found my own body, and tore at it. Another
hand found that wrist, pinned it to the floor. I heard voices over my screams: “Go, Abeloec, just finish it!” “Now, Abeloec!” urged Mistral. And he did, and suddenly the world was made of white light, and it
was as if I could feel his release between my legs, feel it hot and thick, and
him buried as deep inside me as he could go. I floated in that white light, and
found starbursts of red and green and blue. Then there was nothing, nothing but
white, white light. I DIDN’T PASS OUT, NOT COMPLETELY, NOT REALLY,
BUT IT WAS as if I were boneless, helpless in the afterglow of Abeloec’s
power. My eyes fluttered open when the lap my head was resting in moved. I
found Mistral above me, his hands still holding my wrists, still cuddling my
head. “I want you hurt, not broken,” he said, as if he saw something in my face
that he had to answer. It took me three tries to answer. “Glad to hear it,” I finally
said. He laughed then, and began to move carefully from under me. He laid
my head on the dead earth, gently. Apparently, I’d disarranged our makeshift
blanket, because I could feel other patches of dry, scratchy vegetation here
and there against my skin. I turned my head and looked for the others. Abeloec was crawling a
little shakily toward my head, as if he and Mistral were going to change
places. It took me a moment to focus past Abe, farther into the dark beyond. The darkness was shot with neon glow, blue, green, and red. The
colors were everywhere, some individual burning lines and some entwined like
string wound into rope—stronger, thicker for being joined. Doyle knelt closest
to us, as if he’d tried to come to me. His sword was drawn as if there was
something among us that metal could slay. His dark skin was covered in lines of
blue and crimson. Rhys was just beyond him, covered in blue and red lines, too—and
there were other figures in the dark covered in green and blue lines, and
images of flowering plants. I caught a shine of long pale hair. Ivi was covered
in dead vines and green lines of power. Brii stood near a tree, hugging it, or
tied to it with green and blue lines. But it was as if the tree had bent toward
him, its thin, lifeless branches embracing his naked body like arms. Adair had
climbed a tree and stood on one of the thick upper branches. He was reaching up
into it, as if he saw things there that I did not. I caught glimpses of other
bodies on the ground, covered in dead vegetation. Frost and Nicca were kneeling farther away. They had lines of blue
only, snaking over their bodies. They were holding someone’s arms and legs. It
took me a moment to realize it was Galen. He was so covered in the bright green
glow that he was nearly hidden from sight. The others seemed to be enjoying the
power, or at least not to be in pain, but Galen’s body seemed to be convulsing,
almost as I had when Abeloec brought me, but even more violently. Mistral’s face appeared above mine, and I realized that he was
holding himself above my body, much as Abeloec had earlier. But he didn’t kiss
me, as the other man had. He made sure that the only thing I could see was his
face. “My turn,” he said, and the look in his eyes was enough to make me
frightened. Not in fear of Mistral, but fear of what was happening. Something
powerful—and what would be the price? One thing I had learned early was that
all power comes with a price. “Mistral,” I said, but he was already moving down my body. The wind
was back, a thin, seeking wind that touched my body like invisible fingers. The
dead leaves rustled, and the vines seemed to sigh in the growing wind. I raised up enough to look down my body at Mistral. I called his
name again. He looked up at the sound of his name, but there was nothing in his
face that really heard me. This was his one chance in a thousand years to have
a woman. When we left the gardens, his opportunity would be gone. If I’d known the others were safe, then I wouldn’t even have tried
to argue with the look in his eyes. But I wasn’t sure they were. I wasn’t sure
any of us were. I didn’t like not knowing what was happening. He smoothed his hands along the inside of my thighs, gentle,
caressing, but that gentle movement spread my legs with him kneeling between
them. “What’s happening, Mistral?” “Are you afraid?” he asked, but he wasn’t looking at my face when
he said it. “Yes,” I said, and my voice was soft in the growing wind. “Good,” he said. Abeloec answered me, “I am the intoxicating cup like Medb for the
kings of old. You have drunk deep.” I turned my head back to look at him where
he knelt behind me. I knew that medb had been a word for “mead,” a sovereign
goddess whom nine kings of Ireland had had to mate with before she would let
them rule. But most of that was only stories; no one would speak of her among
the sidhe, as if she were a real goddess, a real person. I had asked, and been told
only that she was the cup that intoxicates. Which had been another way of
saying that she was mead. I’d been left to believe she’d never been real. “I don’t understand,” I said. Abeloec smoothed his hand along my face. “I give the power of
sovereignty to the queen, as Medb gave power to the kings. I was forgotten,
because the world turned to chauvinism and there were no more votes for queens.
I was just Accasbel. Denied my purpose. Some human literature says I am an
ancient deity of wine and beer. I founded the first pub in Ireland, and was a follower of Partholon. That is all I am now to history.” He leaned in
close to my face, and I lay back against the ground with his hands on either
side of my face. “Until today. I have new duties.” Just then, Mistral’s fingers found my opening, and I would have
turned to look at him, but Abeloec’s hands tightened on my face, kept me
looking at him while Mistral began to explore me with his hand. Abeloec
whispered, above my face, “There was a time when without me, or Medb, no one
ruled in Ireland, or faerie, or anywhere in the isles. The sithen brought us
here for a reason. It brought everyone here for a reason, including Mistral.” Dried leaves rushed across my body like brittle fingers tapping my
stomach and breasts. “Let us have our reason back, Meredith,” Abeloec said. It wasn’t a finger touching me down there anymore, though Mistral
hadn’t entered me. For someone who liked to cause pain, he was being patient,
and gentle. I whispered, “Reason, what reason?” to Abeloec’s face. “Reason to be, Meredith. A man without a duty is only half a man.” Mistral shoved himself inside me in one long hard movement. It
spilled my upper body up off the ground, tore a scream from my mouth. Abeloec
released me, and I could finally stare down my body at Mistral. Mistral’s head was flung back, eyes closed. His body was married
into mine as deep as he could make it. There were no lines of color on him
anymore and I realized there were none on any of the three of us. But there was
something in the shining of his skin. It took me a moment to realize that
something was moving inside his skin. It looked like a reflection of
something, but it was not a reflection of anything around us. He stayed there, frozen above me, with his lower body as snug to me
as he could get it, and his upper body raised back on his hands and arms. He
opened his eyes and looked down at me, and I saw clouds glide inside his eyes
like windows onto some distant sky. The clouds moved as if hurried by some
great wind, and I realized that that was what I was seeing inside his skin.
Clouds, storm clouds roiling inside his skin. The wind was growing, spilling my hair across my face, sending dead
leaves in small whirlwinds. A storm was coming, and I was watching it grow
inside Mistral’s body. Mistral was the master of the winds, master of the sky,
a storm god once upon a time. The first lightning flash showed in his eyes. Once upon a time wasn’t as long ago as it used to be. MISTRAL DREW OUT OF ME WITH A SIGHING SHUDDER
THAT RAN down the length of his body. Seeing him affected to that degree
made my breath short and fast. At first I thought he had rain in his eyes to
match the lightning; then he blinked, and I realized it was tears. If we had been alone I would have questioned it, talked about it,
but with this many other men around us, I could not. I could not point out that
he was crying in front of them, nor could I ask him why and hope to get a
truthful answer. But it meant a great deal to me that Mistral, master of
storms, cried after he tasted my body. Abeloec said, softly, “It’s been too long.” Mistral looked at him, and he simply nodded with the shine of those
few hard tears gliding down his cheeks. He looked down at me, and there was a
gentleness on his face, a raw pain in his eyes. He kissed me, and this time it
was gentle. “I have forgotten my manners, Princess, forgive me.” “You can kiss me with force, just don’t choke me.” He gave a small smile, and an even smaller nod. Then he laid his
body carefully along the length of mine so that his testicles pressed against
my groin, and the hard length of him touched me from groin to my upper stomach.
He let his weight settle on top of me with a sigh, then wrapped his arms around
me. He put his face to one side of mine, and it was as if he let some great
tension fall away from him. It was almost as if he grew lighter at the same
time that his actual weight became heavier. I laid a soft kiss against the
curve of his ear, because it was the spot I could reach. He shuddered against me again, but because he was pressed so hard
against the front of my body it made me shudder, too. The wind trailed his hair
and mine across my face, mingling the red and grey strands together, almost in
the way the neon glow of power had wound itself together. Stronger together
than apart. The clouds in his eyes spun so fast across them that it was almost
dizzying to watch. He unwound his arms from me and raised up enough to see my face. “I
don’t want to kiss down the front of your body. I want to bite my way down it.” I had to swallow hard before I could answer, in a breathy voice,
“No blood, no permanent marks, and nothing as hard as what you did to my
breast. You haven’t done enough prep work for that.” “Prep work?” He made it a question. Abeloec said, “Foreplay.” He had been kneeling above my head, so
still that I had forgotten he was there. We both looked at him. “Give us a little more room,” Mistral asked.
“I am the only one inside this circle with you, and I must remain.” Circle, I thought, then I realized that he was right. The
lines of blue, green, and red encircled the three of us. Everyone else was
covered in them, but they formed a barrier around the three of us. It was a
barrier that the wind could cross at will, but there would be other things that
could not cross it. I wasn’t sure what those other things would be, but I knew
enough of magical circles to know that they were meant to keep some things in,
and some things out. It was their nature, and tonight was all about the nature
of things. I ran my hands up Mistral’s back, tracing the line of his spine,
playing along the muscles that held him just above me. He closed his eyes and
swallowed before he looked down at me. “You wanted something?” “You,” I said. That earned me a smile. A real smile, not about sex, or pain, or
sorrow, just a smile. I valued that smile the way I valued Frost’s smile, and
Doyle’s. They had all come to me without a real smile, as if they had forgotten
how to do it. By the standards that the other two men had set, Mistral was a
fast learner. I moved one hand around so I could trace his lower lip with my
finger. “Do what you wanted to do. Just remember the rules.” His smile held an edge of something that wasn’t happy now, and I
wasn’t sure if the parameters that I’d put on him were actually that taxing, or
if I’d reminded him of something sad. “No blood, no permanent marks, nothing as
hard as what I did on your breast, because I have not done enough foreplay for
that, yet.” It was almost word for word what I’d said to him. “Good memory.” “Memory is all I have.” As he said it, that raw pain was back in
his eyes. I thought I understood now. He was enjoying himself, and determined
to enjoy himself, but when he was finished, there would be no more. The queen
would put him back in the lonely cell of her rules, her jealousy, her sadism.
Would it be worse to have had this moment and then be denied again? Would it
cause him pain to watch me with my men, and not be a part of it? It wasn’t that
I was so special to him, or to them. It was simply that I was the only woman
with whom the guards could break their long celibacy. I raised myself off the ground and kissed him. “I am yours.” He kissed me, gently at first, then harder. His tongue thrust
between my lips. I opened my mouth and let him explore my mouth. He thrust deep
inside, then backed off a little, enough so that it was just a good deep kiss.
The feel of his mouth drew my mouth closer to his, made my body rise up to
press tighter against him, sent my arms across his back, pressed my breasts
firm against his chest. He made a small sound low in his throat, and the wind suddenly felt
cool against my skin. He drew his mouth from mine, and the expression in his
eyes was wild. Storm clouds rode in his eyes, but they had slowed, so that it
was no longer dizzying. If I hadn’t known what I was looking at, I might simply
have thought his eyes were the grey of rain clouds. He laid his face in the curve of my neck. He didn’t so much kiss me
as lay his lips against my skin. His breath went out in a heavy sigh that
spread warmth across my skin. It made me shiver, and that was it. He set his
teeth in the side of my neck, and bit me. It made me cry out and tense my
fingers along his back, to trail an edge of nail across his skin. He bit my shoulder, quick and hard. I cried out for him, and he
moved again. I don’t think he trusted himself to hold my flesh in his mouth for
very long. I knew he wanted to bite down harder, and I could feel the effort
required to fight that urge in his lips, his hands, his entire body. He was
enjoying himself, but he was struggling to keep his impulses in check. He put his mouth into the side of the breast he had not marked and
barely laid teeth. I grabbed the side of his face, not hard, but it stopped
him. He lifted his gaze to mine, his mouth half opened, and I watched his
expression fall. I think he expected me to tell him to stop. Even if that had
been what I meant to do, I wouldn’t have had the heart to say it. But
regardless, it hadn’t. “Harder,” I said instead. He gave me a wolfish grin, and again I got that glimpse of
something in him that would have made me hesitate to be alone with him. But I
was no longer certain if that was truly Mistral’s nature, or whether centuries
of denial had made him wild with need. He set his teeth into my side and bit down hard, hard enough that I
writhed under him. He moved just a little farther down my side, to my waist,
and this time when I felt him begin to let go, I said, “Harder.” He bit me deeper this time, bit me until I felt his teeth almost
meet in my skin. I cried out and said, “Enough, enough.” He lifted his face as if to stop completely. I smiled at him. “I
didn’t say stop, I just meant that was hard enough.” He moved to the other side of my body and bit me again without
urging, hard enough that I had to tell him, almost immediately, not to go
farther. He looked up at me, and whatever he saw on my face satisfied him,
because he bit next to my belly button, setting his teeth so hard and fast that
I had to tell him to stop. He’d left a press of red teeth marks on my stomach. There were red
marks here and there on my body, but nothing as perfect as that. A perfect set
of his teeth marks in the white flesh of my body. Looking at it made me shiver. “You like it,” he whispered. “Yes,” I said. The wind held an edge of dampness as it trailed across my skin. He
licked low on my stomach, and the wind seemed to blow across that wet line,
almost as if the wind had a mouth, too, and could blow where it wished. Mistral pressed his mouth where he had licked, and bit me. Hard and
sharp, enough to make me startle, and raise my upper body off the ground.
“Enough,” I said, and my voice was almost a yell. The wind began to pick up, blowing more dead leaves across my body.
Streaming my hair across my face, so that for a moment I couldn’t see what
Mistral was doing. The wind was damp, as if it rode an edge of rain. But it
never rained in the dead gardens. I felt his mouth laid on the mound between my legs, resting on the
tight, curling hair. I couldn’t see, but I knew what he was doing. He bit me,
and I yelled, “Enough.” I used one hand to push my hair out of the way, so I could look
down my body and see him. He gave one quick flick of his tongue between my
legs. That one small touch sped my pulse and opened my mouth in a silent O. “You know what I want to do,” he said. He spoke with his hands
around my thighs, fingers digging in just a little, his face just above my
groin, so close that his breath touched me there. I nodded, because I didn’t trust my voice. On the one hand, I
didn’t want him to hurt me; on the other, I did want him to come just to that
edge of truly hurting me. I liked that edge. I liked it a lot. I finally found my voice, and it almost didn’t sound like me, so
breathy, so eager. “Go slow, and when I say enough, you stop.” He gave that smile again that filled his cloud-dazed eyes with a
fierce light, and I realized it wasn’t my imagination. Lightning played through
the heavy grey clouds of his eyes. It had gone away, but now it was back, and
it filled them with a flashing white, white light, so that his eyes looked
blind for a second. The wind slowed, and the air felt heavy, thick, and I felt
an edge of electricity in the air. He spread me wide, using his fingers, so strong, so thick. He
licked the length of me, back and forth until I writhed under his mouth and
hands. Only then did he press his mouth over me. Only then did he let me feel
the edge of his teeth around the most intimate parts of my body. He bit down slowly, so slowly, so carefully. I breathed out, “Harder.” He obeyed. He took as much of my flesh down there into his mouth as he could
fit, and bit me. Bit me so hard that it raised my upper body completely off the
ground, and I screamed for him. But I didn’t scream stop, or enough.
I just screamed, full-throated, spine bowing, staring down at him with wide
eyes and opened mouth. I orgasmed for him, from the feel of his teeth in my
most intimate flesh. I orgasmed for him, and even through the pleasure of it I
changed my scream to “Stop, stop, oh, God, stop!” Even through that most
overwhelming of pleasures, I could feel his teeth going just a little too far.
When something hurts in the middle of orgasm, you need to stop—things usually
only hurt when the afterglow begins to fade. Again I screamed, “Stop,” and he stopped. I fell back onto the ground, eyes unable to focus, fighting to
breathe, unable to move. But even while my body lay helpless with the
afterglow, I began to ache. I ached where his teeth had touched me there, and I
knew that it was just going to hurt more later. I’d let my desire—and
Mistral’s—send us too far over that fine edge. His voice came. “I did not bleed you, and I did not bite you as
hard there as I did on your breast.” I nodded, because I couldn’t speak yet. The air was so dense with
the coming storm that it made it harder to breathe, almost in the way the queen
could make the air too thick to breathe. “Are you hurt?” he asked. I found my voice. “A little.” The ache was becoming sharper. I had
only a limited time before it was simply going to hurt. I wanted him to finish
before the pleasure truly did become pain. He crawled over my body on all fours, so that he wasn’t actually
touching me, but he could see my face. “Are you all right, Princess?” I nodded. “Help me turn over.” “Why?” “Because if we finish this with you on top, it’s going to hurt too
much.” “I was too rough,” he said, and he sounded so sad. Lightning
flashed first in one eye then the other, as if it traveled from one side of his
mind to the other. The light blue lightning bolt on his cheek paled in the
brightness of it. He started to crawl off me as if he were going to stop. I grabbed
his arm. “Don’t stop, bright Goddess, don’t stop. Just help me roll over. If
you take me from behind, you won’t be brushing up against the part of me you
bruised.” “If I have hurt you so badly, we must stop.” My fingers tightened on his arm. “If I wanted to stop, I would say
so. Everyone else has been too afraid of hurting me, and even if you went too
far, I do like it. Mistral, I like it a great deal.” He gave an almost shy smile. “I did notice.” I smiled back at him. “Then let us finish what we started.” “If you are sure.” In the moment he said it, and meant it, I knew
that I would be safe alone with him. If he was willing to pass up some of the
first intercourse he’d been offered in centuries for fear of my being hurt,
then he had the discipline to control himself in private. Consort preserve us,
but he had more discipline than I would have had. How many men would have
turned down the finish, after a start like that? Not many, not many at all. “I am sure,” I said. He smiled again, and something moved above us. Something grey was
in motion near the high domed ceiling. Clouds—there was a tiny knot of clouds
up near the ceiling. I looked into Mistral’s face and said, “Fuck me, Mistral.” “Is that an order, my princess?” He smiled when he said it, but
there was an edge of something that wasn’t happy in his voice. “Only if you want it to be.” He looked down at me, then said, “I would rather do the ordering.” “Then do it,” I said. “Turn over,” he said. His voice did not have quite the firmness it
had had earlier, as if he wasn’t sure I would obey. I had recovered enough to roll over, though I was slow. He moved
back until he knelt by my feet. “I want you on your hands and knees.” I did what he asked, or ordered. It put me looking at Abeloec, who
still knelt, motionless, at the top of our makeshift blanket. I expected to see
lust, or something to let me know he was enjoying the show, but that wasn’t
what was in his face. His smile was gentle, peaceful. It didn’t match what we
were doing, at least not to me. Mistral’s hands stroked my ass, and I felt him rub against my
opening. The front of me was sore, but the rest of me was eager. “You’re wet,” Mistral said. “I know,” I said. “You really did enjoy it.” “Yes.” “You really do like it that rough.” “Sometimes,” I said. The tip of him rubbed around the edge, so
close, but not inside. “Now?” He made it a question. I lowered my upper body, so that my lower body lifted toward him,
pushing against the feel of him. Only his slight movement backward kept me from
taking him into my body. I made a small sound of protest. The wind held the
smell of rain, the press of silent thunder. The storm was coming, and I wanted
him inside me when it came. He laughed, that wonderful masculine sound. “I take that as a yes?” “Yes,” I said. I pressed my cheek into the brittle leaves, my face,
and hands, touching the dry ground. I had to close my eyes against the push of
dead leaves and plants. I pushed my ass up at him, and asked, wordlessly, that
he take me. I didn’t realize I was saying anything out loud, but I must have
been. For then I heard my own voice chanting, “Please, please, please,” over
and over, soft under my breath, my lips closer to the dead earth than to the
man I was begging. He pushed just the tip of himself inside me, and the wind changed
instantly. It felt almost hot. I could still smell rain, but there was also a
metallic smell. The scent of ozone, lightning. The air was hot and close, and I
knew in that moment that it wasn’t that I wanted Mistral inside me when the
storm broke, but that the storm would not come until he was inside me. He was
the storm, as Abeloec had been the cup. Mistral was the heavy press of the air,
and that neck-ruffling promise of lightning. I raised up and shoved my body onto him. He actually stopped me
with his hands on my hips. “No,” he said, “no, I will say when.” I went back to pressing my upper body to the dry ground. I said,
“Mistral, please, don’t you feel it? Don’t you feel it?” “Storm,” he said, and his voice seemed lower than it had been, a
growling roll, as if his voice held an echo of thunder in it. I raised up, but not to try to control him. I wanted to see him. I
wanted to see if there had been other changes besides the growl of thunder in
his voice. He still glowed with power, but it was as if dark grey clouds had
moved in over that glow, so that I saw only the shine of his power through the
veil of clouds. He stared down at me, and his eyes flashed bright, so bright that
for a moment his face was half obscured by that white, white light. The
brilliance faded, leaving afterimages in my vision. But without the lightning,
his eyes weren’t the grey of rain clouds; they were black. That blackness that
rolls across the sky at midday, and sends us all running for cover, because
just by looking at the sky, you know that something dangerous is coming.
Something that will drown you, burn you, concuss you with the power that is
about to fall from the sky. I shivered, gazing down my body at him, shivered, because I
wondered…was I too mortal to survive this? Was his power going to burn along my
flesh, and hurt me in ways that I did not want? It was as if Abeloec heard me thinking. He spoke, in a low, soft
voice that made me look at him. He was still kneeling in front of us, but it
was as if his pale skin were fading into the growing dark, as if he, himself,
were dissipating into the circle of power. His hair was shot through with lines
of blue, red, and green, and those lines traced the circle that held us, and on
into the dark to the men beyond. His eyes held sparks of all those colors, but
it was as if his power grew. He began to be that power, and not be as much Abeloec.
I could tell that if he were not careful, he would become only the lines of
power that traced out into the dark. “Earth and sky is a very old dance, Meredith,” he said. “Do not
fear the power. It has waited too long for you to allow you to be harmed now.” I found my voice in a hoarse whisper. “Look at him.” “Yes,” Abeloec said, “he is the storm come to life.” “I am mortal.” I thought he smiled, but I couldn’t be certain. I could not see his
face clearly, though I knew he was only a few feet in front of me. “In this time and place, you are the Goddess, the earth to meet the
strike of the sky. Does that sound like someone who is merely mortal?” Mistral chose that moment to remind me that he was there. He bent
over my body, and bit me on the back, as his body shoved inside me. The
combination of the two made me push myself tighter against him. He bit me
harder, and I writhed against him, trapped between his body and his mouth. His mouth let go, and he wrapped his arms around me. His weight lay
along the back of my body, in a warm, solid line. I was supporting most of his
weight, for his hands played lightly over my breasts and stomach. He was inside
me, but as he had done the first time, once he was in, he had stopped moving.
He spoke with his face next to mine. “It has been too long. I will not last if
you move like that.” I turned my head, and he was close enough that when the light
flashed in his eyes, I was blinded for a second. I closed my eyes and saw white
and black explosions against my eyelids. I spoke with my eyes still closed. “I
can’t help moving.” He sighed, and didn’t so much push himself farther inside me as
writhe while he was inside me. That made me writhe, and drew a sound from him
that was half pleasure, half protest. Thunder rolled through the cavern, echoing against the bare rock
walls, like some gigantic drumroll that seemed to thrum across my skin. “Hush, Meredith, quiet. If you move, I will not last.” “How can I not move with you inside me?” He hugged me then, and said, “So long since anyone reacted to my
body.” He moved off my back, so that he was again on his knees, still with his
body sheathed inside mine. But he pushed his hips against me and let me know
that, bent over my body, he had not been completely sheathed inside me, because
now the tip of him found the end of me, and I realized he might be too long for
this position. If the man was too long, entering from behind could hurt. It
didn’t hurt yet, but it held the promise of it as he pushed gently against the
inner limits of my body. The thought of what he could do to me was exciting,
and a little frightening. I both wanted to feel him pound himself into me, and
didn’t. The thought was exciting, but it was one of those pains that worked
better in fantasy than real life. He pushed the head of himself inside me, gentle at first, then more
firmly, as if he were trying to find a way deeper. He pushed slow, and firm,
and tight, until I made a sound of protest. Thunder rumbled again, and the wind gusted. I could smell rain and
ozone, as if lightning had struck somewhere near, though the only lightning had
been in Mistral’s eyes. “How much do you like pain?” he asked, and his voice held thunder
the way that Doyle’s could hold the growl of a dog. I thought I knew what he was asking, and I hesitated. How much do I
like pain? I decided honesty was safest. I gazed back over my body until I
could see him, and whatever words of caution I was about to utter died in my
throat. He was something elemental. His body still held an outline, a
solidness, but inside that solid line of skin were clouds, grey and black and
white, boiling and writhing. The lightning flashed in his eyes again, and this
time it rode down his body, a jagged line of brilliance that filled the world
with the metallic smell of ozone. But it didn’t affect my body like real
lightning would have. Instead it was just a brilliant dance of light. His eyes glowed in his face, lit by strike after strike of bright,
white light. About every third flash, the lightning shot down his body and
decorated his skin. His hair had come free of its ponytail, and that grey sheet
of hair danced in the wind of his power, like some soft grey blanket trapped on
a wash line as the storm thunders closer. As many times as I’d made love to warriors of the sidhe, to
creatures of faerie, the sight of him behind me still stole my words. I’d seen
many wonders, but nothing quite like Mistral. He asked again, “How much do you like pain?” But as he spoke, the
lightning flashed, the glow filling his mouth and pouring out with his words. I said the only thing I could think of: “Finish.” He smiled, and his lips held an edge of that glow. “Finish; just
finish?” I nodded. “Yes.” “Will you enjoy it?” “I don’t know.” His smile widened, and his eyes flashed, and that line of light sparkled
down his body. I was blind for a moment in the brilliance of it. He began to
draw himself out of me. “So be it,” he said in that deep, rolling voice.
Thunder echoed him along the roof, and for a moment it seemed as if the very
walls thrummed with him. He shoved himself inside me as fast and hard as he could, and he
was too long. I screamed, and it wasn’t all pleasure. I tried not to, but I
began to writhe, not closer, but farther away, crawling away from that hard,
sharp pain. He grabbed my hair, tight. Held me in place while he pounded
himself into me. I screamed, and this time, it held words. “Finish, Goddess, please
finish. Go, just go.” He jerked me up on my knees, using my hair like a lever to press
our bodies against each other. He was still buried in me, but the position was
better. It was a little less deep and didn’t hurt. He wrapped his other arm around the front of my body, and held me
tight against the front of his. He tightened the hand in my hair, drawing a
sound from me that wasn’t pain. He spoke with his mouth pressed against the side of my face. “I
know that I hurt you before, but already your body forgives me. So soon, and
you make pleasure noises for me.” He jerked my head back with his handful of my
hair. It did hurt, but I liked it anyway. I just did. “You like this,” he whispered against my face, and I felt wind
against my face. “Yes,” I said. “But not the other,” he said, and the wind buffeted us, hard enough
that we swayed for a moment. I rolled my eyes past him and found the ceiling
crawling with clouds. Clouds that could have been the twins of the ones moving
under his skin. He jerked my hair again, brought me back to his face. “I thought I
would come too soon, and now I am taking too long.” “You will not come until the storm does.” It was Abeloec’s voice,
but strangely not. Mistral loosened his hold on my hair, so we could both look at the
other man. What I saw was eyes that spun with crimson, emerald, and sapphire,
as if they were full of liquid jewels. His hair was flared out around him, but
not because the wind pulled it—more like the tail of a bird, or a cloak held
carefully out by some invisible hands. The lines of color glowed through that
hair, and went out into the dark like rope. The ropes of glowing color found
dark shapes outside our circle of power. All the men out there in the dead
gardens were covered in those lines. I tried to see if they were all right, but
the thunder rolled through us, and it was as if the world itself shook with it. Mistral shuddered around me, inside me, and that made me shudder.
He hugged me tight with both of his strong arms. Not hurting me for a moment,
not trying to. “If taking you from behind is too much, then what else is left?
I have hurt you in front, as well.” I leaned back against his body, letting myself rest against him
completely. “If you’re strong enough to keep yourself up off my body while we
fuck, you won’t brush the front of me.” “Off your body?” He sounded puzzled. “I will be facing up, you on top, but the only thing that touches
me is what is inside me now.” “If you are flat, I will not be able to get as much inside you.” “I’ll rise up to meet you.” Then I asked, “Are you?” “Am I what?” he asked, and the lightning in his eyes blinded me for
a moment. “Strong enough,” I said with my vision full of bright white spots. He laughed, then, and it was like a low rumble of thunder not just
in my ear, but along my body, as if the sound traveled through his very bones
and into mine. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I am strong enough.” “Prove it,” I said, and my voice was a whisper that was almost lost
in the sound of wind and thunder. He let me move off him and helped me to lie down on what was left
of our makeshift blanket. If we had been about to make love in standard
missionary position, then I would have been more concerned about the blanket.
But if we did this right, very little of me would be touching the ground. I lay back against the hard, dry ground for a moment, my knees
bent. Mistral hesitated, kneeling between them. Lightning flashed in his eyes,
danced down his body, so that it looked for a moment as if the jagged bolt went
from his eyes and out his leg into the ground. I heard a more distant crackle,
and saw the first lightning bolt dance in the clouds at the ceiling. The smell
of ozone came faint; the scent of close rain was stronger. “Mistral,” I said, “now—enter me now.” “I will brush against the front of your body,” he said. “It will
hurt.” “Enter me, and I’ll show you.” He lowered himself to me, keeping his arms locked and his body above
mine. He slid himself inside me, and before he was finished, I moved up to meet
him. I raised my upper body in a sort of sit-up, more like an abdominal
crunch. I couldn’t hold the position forever, but I could hold it a long time,
if I put my hands on either side of my thighs and held on. It held me
simultaneously in position and open wide. I watched him push himself inside me by the white moonlight glow of
my own skin, and the distant flash of lightning that he’d released into the
clouds above. It was almost as if now that the lighting was up there, there
wasn’t so very much inside him. He began to pump his body into mine. Just the long shaft of him in
and out of my body, while I held myself in a tight little ball, and he held the
rest of his body above mine. “I love watching your body move in and out of mine,” I said. He lowered his head so that his hair trailed over me, and he could
watch his own body work in and out of mine. “Yesss,” he breathed, “yesss.” He started to lose his rhythm and had to look away from the sight
of our bodies locked together. Soon he resumed his long sure strokes. Thunder
pounded the world, lightning crackled and smashed into the ground. The storm
was coming. He began to go faster, harder, smashing himself into me. But from this
position, it didn’t hurt. From this position, it felt wonderful. I could feel
the beginnings of my own pleasure growing inside me. “I’m going to come soon,”
I said, and it was almost a yell over the sound of wind and storm. “Not yet,” he said, “not yet.” I wasn’t sure if he was talking to
me or himself, but he suddenly seemed to give himself permission to fuck me as
hard as he wanted. He drove himself in and out of me with a force that rocked
my body, ground my ass into the leaves, and made me cry out with purest joy. Lightning began to rain down from the clouds. One white-hot bolt
after another, as if the clouds were screaming, and this was as fast as they
could throw lightning down upon us. The ground shuddered with the beating of
the lightning and the roll of the thunder. It was as if the lightning was
hitting the ground as often as Mistral’s body hit into mine. Over and over and
over again, he rammed inside me, and over and over and over again, the
lightning struck the earth. The world smelled metallic with ozone, and every
hair stood to attention with the electric dance of it. He brought me screaming, fingers digging into my own thighs,
holding my place, holding my place, while the orgasm shook me, took me, and my
body spasmed around his. My screams were lost in the violence of the storm, but
I heard Mistral cry out above me, a second before his body thrust inside mine
one last time. He came inside me, and the lightning struck the earth like a
huge white hand. I was blinded with white light. I dug my nails into my thighs to
remind myself where I was, and what I was doing. I wanted his release to be
everything he wished. But finally, I had to collapse to the ground, had to let
my legs unbend. I lay on the dry ground, panting, trying to relearn how to breathe. He collapsed on top of me, still inside my body. His heart was
beating so fast that it felt as if it would spill out his body and touch me.
Rain began to fall, gently. His first words were breathless. “Am I hurting you?” I tried to raise my arm to touch him, but still couldn’t move.
“Nothing hurts right now,” I said. He let out his breath in a long sigh. “Good.” His heart began to
slow as the rain fell harder. I turned my face to the side so the drops
wouldn’t be hitting me full on. I’d thought the weather inside the cavern would stop with Mistral’s
orgasm. But though the storm had ended, there was still a sky above us. A
cloudy, rainy sky. It had not rained underground in faerie for at least four
hundred years. We had a sky and rain, and we were still underground. It was
impossible, but the rain on my face was warm. A spring rain, something gentle,
to coax the flowers out. He raised himself up enough to pull himself out of my body and lie
by my side. I felt moisture on his face, and thought at first that it was rain.
Then I realized it was tears. Had the rain come because he cried, or did one
thing have nothing to do with the other? I did not know. I only knew that he
cried, and I held out my arms to him. He buried his face against my breasts, and wept. ABELOEC, MISTRAL, AND I GOT TO OUR FEET IN THE
SOFT SPRING rain. It took me a moment to realize that there was light
now. Not the colored shine of magic but a dim, pale light, as if there were a
moon somewhere up near the stone roof of the cavern. I couldn’t see the ceiling
anymore. It was lost in a soft mist of clouds where the stone had been. “Sky,” someone whispered, “there’s sky above us.” I turned to look at the other men who had been held outside the
glowing circle of Abeloec’s magic. I turned to find out who had spoken, but the
moment I saw the others, I didn’t care. I didn’t even care that it was raining,
or that there was sky, or some phantom moon. All I could think was that we were
missing people: a lot of people. Frost and Rhys were white shadows in the dimness, and Doyle a
darker presence by their side. “Doyle, where are the others?” It was Rhys who answered. “The garden took them.” “What does that mean?” I asked. I took a step toward them, but
Mistral held me back. “Until we find out what is happening, we cannot risk you,
Princess.” “He is right,” Doyle said. He walked toward us, gliding graceful
and nude, but there was something in the way he moved that said the fight
wasn’t over. He moved as if he expected the ground itself to open up and
attack. Just watching him move like that scared me. Something was horribly
wrong. “Stay with Mistral and Abe. Frost with Merry. Rhys with me.” I thought someone would argue with him, but they didn’t. They
followed him as they had followed him for a thousand years. My pulse was
thudding in my throat, and I didn’t understand what was happening, but I was
almost certain in that moment that the men would never obey me as they obeyed
him. I understood, as he stalked over the softening ground—with Rhys like a
small, pale shadow at his side—why my aunt Andais had never made love to Doyle.
Never given him a chance to fill her belly with child. She did not share power,
and Doyle was a man whom other men followed. He had the stuff of kings in him.
I had known that, but I hadn’t been certain until this second that the other
men knew it, too. Maybe not in the front of their heads, but in the very bones
of their bodies, they understood what he was, what he could be. He and Rhys moved toward a fringe of tall trees, their branches
stark and dead against the soft, rainy twilight. Doyle was looking up into the
trees, as if he saw something in the empty branches. “What is that?” Mistral asked. “I don’t see…,” Abe began; then I heard his breath draw in sharp. “What, what is it?” I asked. “Aisling, I think,” Frost whispered. I glanced at Frost. I could remember some of the other men who had
been touching the trees. Adair, for example, had climbed a tree. I remembered
seeing him up in the branches in the middle of all the sex and magic. But I
didn’t remember seeing Aisling after the magic hit us. “I saw Adair climbing a tree, but I don’t remember Aisling,” I
said. “He vanished once we entered the garden,” Frost said. “I thought he had been left behind in the room with Barinthus and
the others,” I said. “No, he was not left behind,” Mistral said. “I can’t see what Doyle is looking at.” “You may not wish to,” Abe said. “I know I don’t.” “Don’t treat me like a child. What do you see? What’s happened to
Aisling?” I pulled away from Mistral. But he and Abe were still between me and
the line of trees. “Move aside,” I said. They glanced at each other, but didn’t move. They would not obey me
as they obeyed Doyle. “I am Princess Meredith NicEssus, wielder of the hand of flesh and
blood. You are royal guards, but not royal. Don’t let the sex go to your heads,
gentlemen—move!” “Do as she says,” Frost said. They glanced at each other, but then parted so I could see. Unlike
Frost, Doyle would have known not to help me, because now they weren’t obeying
me. They were obeying Frost. But that was a problem for another night. This
night, this night, I wanted to see what everyone else had already seen. There was a pale shape hanging from the tallest branch of the
tallest tree. I thought at first that Aisling was hanging by his hands,
dangling from the branch on purpose; then I realized that his hands were by his
sides. He was dangling from the branch, yes, but not by his hands. The rain
started to fall harder. “The branch…,” I whispered, “it’s pierced his chest.” “Yes,” Mistral said. I swallowed hard enough that it hurt. There weren’t many things
that could bring death to the high court of faerie. There were tales of the
immortal sidhe standing up after a beheading, still alive. But there were no stories
about living on after your heart was gone. Some of the other guards hadn’t wanted Aisling to sleep in the
bedroom with us, feeling he was too dangerous. To look upon his face had once
been to fall instantly, hopelessly in love with him. Even goddesses and some
gods had fallen to his power, once, or so the old stories said. So he had
voluntarily kept most of his clothes on, including the gauzy veil that he wore
wrapped around his face. Only his eyes were left bare. He was a man so beautiful that all who saw him, loved him. I had
ordered him to use that power on one of our enemies. She had tried to kill
Galen, and almost succeeded. But I hadn’t understood what I asked of him, or
what I condemned her to see. She had given us information, but she had also clawed
out her own eyes so she would no longer be under his power. He had been afraid to even take off his shirt in front of me, for
fear that I was too mortal to look upon his flesh, let alone his face. I hadn’t
been bespelled, but staring at the pale form, hanging lifeless, lost to
twilight and rain, I remembered him. I remembered his skin, golden, golden as
if someone had shaken gold dust across his pale, perfect body. He had sparkled
in the light, not just with magic, but the way a jewel catches the light. He
had glittered with the beauty of what he was. Now he hung in the rain, dead or
dying. And I had no idea why. THE GROUND WAS SOFT UNDER OUR FEET AS WE
WALKED toward Aisling’s body. The sharp, dry vegetation had melted into
the softening earth. Much more of this downpour and it would be mud. I had to
shield my eyes with my hand to gaze up at the body in the tree. Body, just a body. I was already distancing myself from him.
Already I was making that mental switch that had allowed me to work murder
cases in Los Angeles. Body, it, not he, and absolutely not
Aisling. The it hung there, with a black branch thicker than my arm
sticking out through the chest. There had to be two feet worth of branch on
this side of the body. Such force it would have taken to pierce the chest of
any man like that, a warrior of the Unseelie Court. A nearly immortal being,
once worshipped as a god. Such beings do not die easily. He hadn’t even cried
out…or had he? Had he cried his death on the air, and I been deaf to it? Had my
screams of pleasure drowned out his cries of despair? No, no, I had to stop thinking like that, or I would run screaming. “Is he…,” Abe began. None of the men answered him or finished his sentence. We all
stared up, wordless, as if by not saying it, we’d keep it from being true. He
hung so limp, like a broken puppet, but thick, and meaty, and more real than
any doll. He was utterly still and limp in that heavy-limbed way that not even
the deepest sleep can duplicate. I spoke into that rain-soaked silence. “Dead.” And that one word
seemed louder than it actually was. “How? Why?” Abe asked. “The how is pretty apparent,” Rhys said. “The why is a mystery.” I looked away from what hung in the tree, out into the twilight of
the gardens. I wasn’t looking away from Aisling, but rather looking for the
others. I tried to ignore the tightness of my throat, the speeding of my pulse.
I tried not to finish the thought that had made me turn and search the dimness.
Were there other men dead, or dying, in the dimness? Who else was pierced
through by some magical tree? There was nothing to see but the dead branches stretching naked
toward the clouds—none of the other trees held a gruesome trophy. The tightness
in my chest eased when I was sure that all the trees were empty except this
one. I barely knew Aisling. He had never been my lover, and had only
been one of my guards for a day. I was sorry for the loss of him, but there
were others among my guards that I cared about more, and they were still
missing. I was happy they weren’t decorating the trees, but that left me
wondering what else might have become of them. Where were they? Doyle spoke so close to me that I jumped. “I do not see any of the
others in the trees.” I shook my head. “No, no.” I looked for Frost. He stood close, but
not close enough to hold me. I wanted to be comforted by one of them, but it
was a child’s wish. A child’s wish for lies in the dark, that the monster isn’t
under the bed. I had grown up in a world where the monsters were very real. “You were holding Galen, and Nicca was with you,” I said. “What
happened to them?” Frost brushed his sodden hair from his face, the silver looking as
grey as Mistral’s in the dim light. “Galen was swallowed up by the ground.” His
eyes showed pain. “I could not hold on to him. It was as if some great force
wrenched him away.” I was suddenly cold, and the warm rain wasn’t enough to keep it at
bay. I said, “When Amatheon did the same thing in my vision, he went willingly.
He just sank into the mud. There was no wrenching force.” “I can only report what happened, Princess.” His voice had gone
sullen. If he thought I’d criticized him, then so be it; I didn’t have time to
hold his hand. “That was vision,” Mistral said. “Sometimes on this side of the
veil, it’s not so gentle.” “What’s not so gentle?” I asked. “Being consumed by your power,” he said. I shook my head, wiping impatiently at the rain on my face. I was
beginning to be irritated. The miracle of it raining in the dead gardens wasn’t
enough to calm the cold fear. “I wish this rain would let up,” I said without
thinking. Angry and afraid, and the rain was something I could be angry at
without hurting its feelings. The rain slackened. It went from a downpour to a light drizzle. My
pulse was in my throat again, but not for the same reason. It was a miracle
that there was rain here, and I hadn’t meant to make it go away. Doyle touched my mouth with a callused fingertip. “Hush,
Meredith—do not destroy the blessing of this rain.” I nodded to let him know I understood. He took his finger away,
slowly. “I forgot that the sithen listens to everything I say.” I swallowed
hard enough that it hurt. “I don’t want the rain to stop.” We stood there, everyone tense, waiting. Yes, Aisling was dead, and
many more missing, but the dead gardens had been the heart of our faerie mound
once, and were more important than any one life. They had been the heart of our
power. When this place had died, our power had begun to die. I saw with relief that the warm spring drizzle kept falling. Slowly,
we all let out a breath. “Be careful what you say, Princess,” Mistral
whispered. I just nodded. “Nicca stood up, staring at his hands,” Frost said, as if I’d
asked. “He reached out to me, but before I could touch him he vanished.” “Vanished how?” Abe asked. “Just vanished, as if he became air.” “He was taken by his sphere of influence,” Mistral said. “What does that mean?” I asked. “Air, earth.” I shook my hands at him, as if waving away smoke between us. “I
don’t understand.” “Hawthorne was engulfed by the trunk of that tree over there,” Rhys
said. He pointed to a large greyish-barked tree. “He didn’t fight it. He went
smiling. I’d bet almost anything that if we could identity it, it would be a
hawthorn tree.” “Galen and Nicca did not go smiling,” Frost said. “They have never been worshipped as deities,” Doyle said, “so they
do not know to relax into the power. If you fight it, it will fight back. If
you let it take you, then it is more gentle.” “I know that once upon a time, some of the sidhe could travel
through ground, trees, the air. But forgive me, guys, that was a thousand years
before I was born. A thousand years before Galen was born. Nicca is older, but
he was always too weak to be a god.” “That may have changed,” Abe said. “Just as Abe’s power returned,” Doyle said. Abe nodded. “Once, so long ago that I don’t want to remember, I
didn’t just make queens. I made goddesses.” “What are you saying?” I asked. He brought the horn cup in front of him. “The Greeks believed in
it, too, Princess. That the drink of the gods could make you immortal; could
make you a god.” “But they didn’t drink from it.” “The drinking is—” He seemed to search for a word. “—more
metaphorical, at times. It was my power, and Medb’s, that gave the gods and
goddesses of our pantheon their marks of power. The colored lines, Princess,
they paint the skin.” Rhys looked down at his arm, where there had been that one faint
fish. Now there were two, one swimming down, another swimming upward. It formed
a circle, like a fish version of yin and yang. The blue lines weren’t faint
now—they were bright, clear blue, deeper than a summer sky. Rhys’s curls had
been plastered flat by the rain, so the face he turned to us seemed startled
and unfinished. “You bear both marks now,” Doyle said. With his hair in a tight
braid, he looked as he always looked. He stood in the middle of all the
disarray like some dark rock I might cling to. Rhys looked up at him. “It can’t be that easy.” “Try,” he said. “Try what?” I asked. The men were all exchanging some knowledge from look to look. I
didn’t understand. “Rhys was a deity of death,” Frost said. “I know that; he was Cromm Cruach.” “Don’t you remember the story he told you?” Doyle asked. In that moment I couldn’t remember. All I could think was that
Galen and Nicca might be dead, or hurting, and it was somehow my fault. “Once I brought more than just death, Merry,” Rhys said, still
gazing down at his arm with its new mark. My mind started working finally. “Celtic death deities are also
healing deities, according to legend,” I said. “According to legend,” Rhys said. He gazed up at Aisling. “Try,” Doyle said to Rhys, again. I looked at Rhys. “Are you saying you can bring him back from the
dead?” “The last time I had both symbols on my arm, I could.” He looked at
me, and there was such pain on his face. I remembered what he had told me now.
Once his followers had worshipped him by cutting and hurting themselves,
sacrificing their blood and pain, but he had been able to heal them. Then he
lost the ability to heal, and his followers thought he was displeased. They
decided he wanted the deaths of others, and they began the sacrifices. He had
slaughtered them all to stop the atrocities. Slain his own people to save the
rest. He had never lost the ability to kill small creatures with a touch.
In Los Angeles he’d recovered the ability to kill other faerie creatures with a
touch and a word. He’d killed a goblin that way, at least. Rhys gazed up at Aisling’s still form. “I’ll try.” He handed his
weapons to Doyle and Frost, then touched the tree. He seemed to wait a moment,
to see what the tree would do. For the first time I realized that he was
wondering if the tree would kill him, too—that hadn’t occurred to me. “Is it safe for Rhys to do this?” I asked. Rhys looked back at me. He grinned. “If I were taller, I wouldn’t
have to climb.” “I mean it, Rhys. I don’t want to trade you for Aisling. And I
really don’t want two of you hanging up there.” “If I really thought you loved me, I might not chance it.” “Rhys…” “It’s all right, Merry, I know where I stand.” He turned to the
tree and started climbing. Doyle touched my shoulder. “You cannot love us all equally. There
is no dishonor in that.” I nodded, and believed him, but it still hurt my heart. Rhys looked like some white phantom against the blackness of the
tree. He was right underneath where Aisling hung. He was just about to reach
out toward him when magic crawled across my skin, stopped my breath in my
throat. Doyle felt it, too, and yelled, “Wait! Don’t touch him!” Rhys started climbing back down the tree, sliding on the
rain-slicked bark. “Rhys! Hurry!” I screamed. The air around Aisling’s body shimmered, like a heat haze, then
exploded. Not in a rain of flesh and blood and bone, but in a cloud of birds.
Tiny birds, smaller, more delicate than sparrows. Dozens of songbirds flew over
our heads. We all fell to the ground, guarding our heads. Frost put his body
over mine, protecting me from the fluttering, twittering mob. The birds looked
charming, but looks can be deceiving. When Frost raised up enough for me to see clearly again, the birds
had vanished into the dimness of the trees. I stretched upward, trying to see.
“Is the cavern wall farther away than it was?” I asked. “Yes,” Doyle said. “The forest stretches for miles now,” Mistral said, and his voice
held awe. “They call it the dead gardens, not the dead forest,” I said. “It was both once,” Doyle said, softly. Rhys explained, “This was a world at one time, Merry, a whole
underground world. There were forests and streams, and lakes, and wonders to
behold. But it whittled down, as our power was whittled away. Until, at the
end, it was just what you saw when we entered—a bare patch where a flower
garden once grew, surrounded by a fringe of dead trees.” He motioned toward the
spreading trees. “The last time I saw anything like this inside any faerie
mound was centuries ago.” Abe hugged me from behind. It startled me, and I tensed. He started
to pull away from me, but I patted his arm and said, “You startled me, that’s
all.” He hesitated, then hugged me close. “You’ve done this, Princess.” I turned enough to see his face. He was smiling. “I think you
helped, too,” I said. “And Mistral,” Doyle added. His deep voice tried for neutral and
almost made it, as much as it hurt him to say those words. He’d been convinced
that the queen’s ring, which now sat on my hand, had chosen Mistral for my
king. Only later had I been able to convince him it wasn’t so much Mistral as
the fact that he was simply the first sex I’d had inside faerie while wearing
the ring. Doyle had accepted that, but now he seemed to be wondering again. “Doyle,” I said. He shook his head at me. “For miracles such as this, what is one
person’s happiness, Princess?” I’d almost broken him of calling me princess. I had finally been
Meredith, or Merry, to him, but no longer, apparently. I touched his arm. He
pulled away from my touch, gently but firmly. “You give up too easily, my friend,” Frost said. “There is sky above us, Frost.” Doyle motioned outward with the gun
in his hand. “There is forest to walk through.” He raised his face upward, and
let the warm rain fall on his closed eyes. “It rains inside the sithen once
more.” Doyle opened his eyes and looked at Frost, grabbing his arm, dark
against light. “How clear do you need your messages to be, Frost? It seems that
Mistral did this.” “I will not give up my hope, Darkness. I will not lose it, when it
is so freshly won. You should not, either.” “I’ve missed something,” Rhys said. Doyle shook his head. “You have missed nothing.” “Now, that’s too close to a lie, and we never lie,” said Rhys. “I will not discuss this with you, here,” Doyle said. He looked
past Rhys to Mistral’s tall figure. It was a small look, but enough to tell me
of his jealousy. “Look to your own power, Darkness,” Abe said. “Enough,” said Doyle. “We must tell the queen what has happened.” “Look at your chest, Darkness,” Abe said. Doyle frowned at him, then looked down. My gaze followed his. It
was hard to see against the black of his skin, and in the uncertain light,
but…“There are lines on your skin, red lines.” I moved closer, trying to
decipher what Abe’s power had drawn on Doyle’s skin. I started to reach out, to trace the lines on his chest. Doyle
moved out of reach. “I cannot bear much more, Princess.” “Your body is painted with your symbol again,” Abe said. “It is not
just Mistral who is returning.” “But it is he who is returning faerie to itself,” Doyle
said. “And I was ready to stand in the way of it, for my heart would not let me
lose this fight. But that was before this wonder of the dead gardens come back
to life, and my sign of power returning. I have served this court century after
century as we lost all that we were. How could I do less than serve the court
as we begin to win back what was lost? Either my oath to serve means something,
or it never meant anything at all. Either I can do this for the good of our
people, or I have never been the Queen’s Darkness. I either do this, or I am
nothing, do you not see that?” Abe went to him, touched his arm. “I hear you, so honorable
Darkness, but I tell you that this power is a generous thing. Goddess is a
generous Goddess. God is a generous God. They do not give with one hand and
take with the other. They are not so cruel.” “I have found their service most cruel.” “Nay, you have found Andais’s service cruel,” Abe said, voice soft. A bird twittered out in the twilight woods—a sound of settling in
for the night, sleepy and questioning. A voice came out of the dimness: “I thought you a drunken fool,
Abeloec, but now I realize that it wasn’t the drink making you so. It’s simply
your natural state.” We all whirled toward the voice. Queen Andais stepped from the far
wall, where she had emerged earlier. We had been more than careless not to
realize she might come back. Abe dropped to one knee in the mud. “I meant no offense, my queen.” “Yes, you did.” She walked only a little way toward us, then
stopped, grimacing. “I am happy to see the rain and clouds, but the mud, I
could have done without.” “We are sorry that you are displeased, my queen,” Mistral said. “The apology would sound better if you were on your knees,” she
said. Mistral dropped to his knees in the mud beside Abe. Their hair was
too long, wet and heavy; it trailed into the mud. I didn’t like seeing them
like that. It made me afraid for them. She waded through the now ankle-deep mud until she could have
touched them, but she walked past. Instead, she reached out to trace her
fingers across Doyle’s chest. “Puppy dogs,” she said, smiling. Doyle stood impassive under the caress of her hand, though Andais
had made a torture of caresses. She would tease and torment, then deny them
release. She’d made a game of it for centuries. She touched Frost’s arm. “Your tree is dark against your skin now.”
She moved to Rhys, touching the dual fish. She moved to me, and I fought not to
cringe away from her. She put her hand on my stomach where the exact imprint of
a moth stood, like the world’s most perfect tattoo. “A few hours ago this moth
fluttered, struggling to escape your skin.” I looked down at where she touched, hoping she wouldn’t go lower.
She didn’t like me, but she might touch my intimate parts because she knew I
loathed her. Sex and hatred always mixed well for my aunt. “My guards told me that it would become like a tattoo.” “Did they tell you what it was?” “A mark of power.” She shook her head. “The others have the outline of a creature, or
an image, but your moth looks real. It is more like a photograph imprinted on
your skin. That is not something that Abeloec’s magic can give you. This”—she
pressed hard against my stomach—“means you can mark others. It means that those
you mark are lesser powers flocking to the warmth of your fire.” She curled her
arm around my waist, and pressed my body against the black robe of hers. She
whispered against my ear, “The men don’t like this, no, they don’t. They don’t
like me touching you, not one…” she licked the edge of my ear, “little…” she
licked down the curve of my neck, “bit.” She bit me, hard and sudden, not to
draw blood, but to make me jerk. She drew her head up and said quietly, “I thought you liked pain,
Meredith.” “Not straight out of the box, no.” “That’s not what I heard.” She let me go and walked around the
group of us. “Where are all the other men who vanished from the bedroom with
you?” “The garden has taken them,” Doyle said. “Taken them, how?” “Taken them into tree and flower and ground,” he said, not meeting
her eyes. “As Amatheon rose from the dirt, will they return to us, or was
their death the price for this miracle?” She whispered it, but her voice seemed
to echo. “We don’t know,” Doyle said. A bird began to sing again. A high, trilling cascade of music fell
from the sky, dancing over us. And as if sound could be touch, it wrapped us
around in something beautiful, something just out of sight. It seemed a
reminder that the dawn would come and death would not be forever. It was the
sound of hope that comes each spring to let you know that winter will not last,
and the land is not dead. I could not help but smile. Mistral and Abe raised their faces
upward, as if turning gratefully into a spill of warm sunshine. Andais began to back away as the last sweet note fell upon the air.
She backed toward the part of the wall that still held darkness, as if the
magic’s return could not touch it. “You will make of the Unseelie Court a pale
imitation of the golden court that your uncle rules, Meredith. You will fill
the darkness that is our purpose with light and music, and we will die as a
people.” “Once there were many courts,” Abeloec said, “some dark, some
light, but all faerie. We did not divide ourselves into good and bad as the
Christians do for their religion. We were everything at once, as we were meant
to be.” Andais did not bother to respond. Instead she simply said, “You
have brought life to the dead gardens. I will not try to pixie on my promise.
Come to the Hallway of Mortality and save Nerys’s people if you can. Bring that
bright Seelie magic into the other heart of the Unseelie Court and see how long
it survives.” With that she was gone. We waited for a few heartbeats; then Mistral and Abe stood, mud
coating their lower legs. No voice from the dark told them to get back on their
knees. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “What did she mean when she said that our court has two hearts?” I
asked. Abe answered, “Once every faerie mound had a garden or forest or
lake at its heart. But every court also had another heart of power—one that
would reflect the kind of magic the court specialized in.” “You have brought one heart back to life,” Mistral said, “but I am
not certain it is wise to reawaken the other.” “The hallway is a torture chamber, where most magic does not work.
It’s a null place,” I said. “But once, Meredith, it was more.” I looked at the men. “More how?” “Things that were older than faerie, older than us, were imprisoned
there. Remnants of power from the peoples we had defeated.” “I’m not sure I understand, Mistral.” He looked at Doyle. “Help me explain this.” “Once there were creatures in the Hallway of Mortality that could
bring true death to even the sidhe. They were kept there to serve as methods of
execution, or torture, or simply the threat of those things. The queen did not
care for them because, as you well know, she likes to do her own torturing.
Watching some other being tear us limb from limb was not half so amusing to her
as doing it herself.” “And we healed better if she did it,” Rhys said. Doyle nodded. “Yes, she could torture us longer and more often if
the things did not help.” “What kind of things?” I asked. I didn’t like how serious they’d
gotten. “Terrible things. A glimpse of them would drive a mortal mad,” he
said. “How long ago did these things vanish from the sithen?” “A thousand years, maybe more,” he said. “The forests haven’t been gone so long as that,” I said. “No, not quite that long.” “Why are you all so worried?” “Because if you, or the Goddess’s power through you, can bring this
about,” Abe said, motioning at the ever-expanding forest, “then we must prepare
for the fact that the second heart of our court can come back to full life, as
well.” “Perhaps Merry is too Seelie to bring back such horrors?” Mistral
said, almost hopefully. “Her two hands of power are flesh and blood,” Doyle said. “Those
are not Seelie magicks.” “I came to the princess for aid for Nerys’s people, but I would not
risk her now, not for a house full of traitors,” said Mistral. “If we save them, they won’t be traitors,” I said. “They still believe that your mortality is contagious,” Rhys said.
“They still think that if you sit on the throne, we will all begin to age and
die.” “Do you think that Nerys’s court still has enough honor to realize
that I’m trying to ensure that their rulers’ sacrifice wasn’t for nothing?
Nerys gave her life so her house would not die, and I want that to mean
something.” The men seemed to think about it for a moment. Finally Doyle said,
“They have honor, but I do not know if they have gratitude.” “DEITY MAGIC BROUGHT US HERE,” RHYS SAID, “BUT HOW DO WE get out?
There’s no door anymore to the dead gardens.” “Meredith,” Frost said. I looked at him. “Ask the sithen to give us a door leading out of here.” “Do you think it will be that easy?” Rhys said. “If the sithen wishes Merry to save Nerys’s people, yes,” said
Frost. “And if it doesn’t wish them saved, or if it doesn’t care?” Frost shrugged. “If you have a better suggestion, I am listening.” Rhys spread his hands as if to say no. I looked out at the dark wall and said, “I need a door that leads
out of here.” The darkness grew less, and a door—a large golden door—appeared in
the cave wall. I almost said, Thank you, but some of the older magicks
don’t like to be thanked—they take insult from it. I swallowed, and whispered,
“It’s a lovely door.” Carving appeared around the door frame, vines drawn through the
wood as if by an invisible finger. “That’s new,” Rhys whispered. “Let us go through, before it decides to vanish,” Frost said. He was right. He was most certainly right. But strangely, none of
us wanted to pass through the door until the invisible finger had finished
drawing its vines. Only when the wood had stopped moving did Doyle touch the
golden handle, and turn it. He led the way into a hallway that was almost as
black as his own skin. If he stood still, he’d blend into the background. Rhys touched the wall. “We haven’t had a black corridor like this
in the sithen for years.” “It’s made of the same rock as the queen’s chamber,” I whispered.
I’d had so many bad experiences in the queen’s shiny black-walled room that seeing
the sithen turn black like that room frightened me. Mistral was the last one through the door. When he stepped through,
the door vanished, leaving a smooth black wall, untouched and unyielding. “The hallway where Mistral and Merry had sex is turning to white
marble,” Frost said. “What caused this corridor to change to black?” “I do not know,” Doyle said. He was looking up and down the black
hallway. “It has changed too much. I do not know where we are in the sithen.” “Look at this,” Frost said. He was staring up at the wall across
from us. Doyle moved to stand beside him, staring at what, to me, looked
like blank wall. Doyle made a harsh, hissing sound. “Meredith, call the door
back.” “Why?” “Just do it.” His voice was quiet, but it vibrated with urgency, as
if he were forcing himself to whisper when what he wanted to do was scream. I didn’t argue with that tone in his voice. I called out, “I would
like a door back into the dead gardens.” The door appeared again, all gold and pale wood, and carved vines.
Doyle motioned Mistral to take the lead. Mistral reached for the golden handle,
a naked sword in his other hand. What was happening? Why were they frightened?
What had I missed? Mistral went through with Abe behind him, me in the middle, and
Rhys and Doyle following. Frost came last. But before I passed thorugh the
doorway, Abe stopped, and Mistral’s voice came urgent from inside the dead
gardens, “Back, go back!” Doyle said, “We cannot stay here in the black hallway.” Rhys was
pressed against my back, Abe pressed against my front. We were frozen between
the two captains of the guards, each trying to get us moving in the opposite
direction. “We cannot have two captains, Mistral,” Frost said. “Without a
single leader we are indecisive and endangered.” “What is wrong?” I asked. There was a sound from down the hallway—a heavy, slithering sound
that froze my heart in my chest. I was afraid I recognized it. No, I had to be
wrong. Then a second sound came: a high chittering sound—one that could be
mistaken for birds, but wasn’t. “Oh, Goddess,” I whispered. “Forward, Mistral, now, or we are lost,” Doyle said. “It is not our garden beyond the door,” Mistral said. The high-pitched bird-like sounds were coming closer, outpacing the
heavy slithering weight. The sluagh, the nightmares of the Unseelie Court and a
kingdom in their own right, moved fast but the nightflyers always moved faster
than the rest of the sluagh. We were inside the sluagh’s hollow hill; somehow
we had crossed to their sithen. If they found us here…we might survive, or not. “Do sluagh wait on the other side of the door?” Doyle asked Mistral
urgently. “No,” Mistral called back. “Then go, now!” Doyle ordered. Abe stumbled forward as if Mistral had moved suddenly out of the
way. We came through the door in a rush with Doyle pushing from behind. He was
like some kind of elemental force at our backs. It put us in a heap on the
ground. I couldn’t see anything but white flesh, and I felt the muscled weight
of them all around me. “Where are we?” Frost asked. Rhys moved, drawing me to my feet with him. Doyle, Mistral, and
Frost were all on alert, weapons out, searching for something to fight. The
door had vanished, leaving us on the shore of a dark lake. Lake may have been too strong a word. The depression was dry
except for a slimy skim of water at the very bottom. Bones littered the floor
of the dying lake, and the shore where we stood. The bones shone dully in the
dim light that fell from the stone ceiling, as if the moon had been rubbed into
the rock. All around the shore, the stone walls of the cavern rose steeply up
into the gloom, surrounded only by a narrow ledge before a steep drop-off into
the lake bed. “Call the door again, Meredith,” Doyle said, his dark face still
searching the dead land. “Yes, and be more specific about our destination this time,”
Mistral said. Abe was still on the ground. I heard a sharp intake of breath, and
glanced over at him. His hand was black and shiny in the dim light. “What are
these bones that they could cut sidhe flesh?” Doyle answered him. “They are the bones of the most magical of the
sluagh. Things so fantastical that when the sluagh began to fade in power,
there was not enough magic to sustain their lives.” I clung to Rhys and whispered, “We’re in the sluagh’s dead gardens.” “Yes. Call the door, now.” Doyle glanced at me, then back to the
dim landscape. Rhys had one arm around me, the other hand full of his gun. “Do it,
Merry.” “I need a door to the Unseelie sithen.” On the far side of the dead
lake, the door appeared. “Well, that’s inconvenient,” Rhys whispered wryly, but he tucked me
closer against his body. “There is room to walk the edge, if we are careful,” Mistral said.
“We can make our way between the cavern walls and the lake bed, if we pick our
way carefully around the bones.” “Be very careful,” Abe said. He was on his feet now, but his left
hand and arm were coated with blood. He still held the horn cup in his right
hand, though nothing else—he’d left all his weapons behind in the bedroom.
Mistral had dressed and rearmed. Frost was as armed as he had begun the night.
Doyle had only what he had been able to grab—no clothes limited how much you
could carry. “Frost, bind Abeloec’s wound,” said Doyle. “Then we will start for
the door.” “It is not that bad, Darkness,” Abe said. “This is a place of power for the sluagh, not for us,” Doyle said.
“I would not take the chance that you bleed to death for want of a bandage.” Frost didn’t argue, but went to the other man with a strip of cloth
torn from his own shirt. He began to bind Abe’s hand. “Why does everything hurt more sober?” Abe asked. “Things feel better sober, too,” Rhys said. I looked up at him. “You say that like you know that for certain.
I’ve never seen you drunk.” “I spent most of the fifteen hundreds as drunk as my constitution
would let me get. You’ve seen Abe working hard at it—we don’t stay drunk
long—but I tried. Goddess knows, I tried.” “Why then? Why that century?” “Why not?” he asked, making a joke of it, but that was what Rhys
did when he was hiding something. Frost’s arrogance, Doyle’s blankness, Rhys’s
humor: different ways to hide. “His wound will need a healer,” Frost said, “but I have done what I
can.” “Very well,” said Doyle, and he began to lead the way around the
edge of the lake, toward the soft, gold shine of the door that had come because
I called it. Why had it appeared all the way across the lake? Why not beside
us, like the last two times? But then, why had it come at all? Why was the
sluagh’s sithen, as well as the Unseelie sithen, obeying my wishes? The shore was so narrow that Doyle had to put his back to the wall
and edge along, for his shoulders were too broad. I actually fit better on the
narrow path than the men, but even I had to press my naked back to the smooth
cave wall. The stones weren’t cold as they would have been in an ordinary cave,
but strangely warm. The lip of shore we inched across was meant for smaller
things to travel, or perhaps not meant to be walked at all. The skeletons
littering the shore were those of things that would have swum, or crawled, but
nothing that walked upright. The bones looked like the jumbled-together remains
of fish, snakes, and things that normally didn’t have skeletons in the oceans
of mortal earth. Things that looked like squid, except that squid did not have
internal skeletons. We were halfway around that narrow, bone-studded shore when the air
wavered on its far side next to the door. For a moment the air swam, and then
Sholto, King of the Sluagh, Lord of That Which Passes Between, was standing
there. SHOLTO WAS TALL, MUSCLED, HANDSOME, AND LOOKED
EVERY bit a highborn sidhe of the Seelie Court. His long hair was even a
pale yellow, like winter sunshine with an edge of snow to it. His arm was in a
sling, and as he turned his head to the light, a faint darkness—like a stain of
bruises—touched his face. Kitto had said Sholto’s own court had attacked him.
They were afraid that bedding me would make Sholto completely sidhe and no
longer sluagh enough to be their king. Four robed figures stood behind him. They fanned out, some toward
the golden door, some toward us. Doyle said, “King Sholto, we are not here of
our own choice. We ask forgiveness for entering your kingdom uninvited.” I would have dropped to my knees, if there had been room, but the
crumbling edge of black earth was only inches from my feet, and my back was
plastered against the stone wall. There was no room for niceties on this path.
There was also precious little room for the guards to fight—if they attacked us
now, we were going to lose. A blade glimmered from the edge of one of the shorter cloaked
guards as he spoke. “You are nude and nearly weaponless: Only something
desperate would bring you here like this, with the princess in tow.” “It is the beginning of their invasion,” came a female voice from
one of the tallest guards. I knew that voice. It was Black Agnes, Sholto’s
chief bodyguard, and chief among his lovers at this court. She had tried to
kill me once before for jealousy’s sake. Sholto turned enough to look at her. The movement revealed that
wide, pale bandages were all he was wearing on his upper body. Whatever they
covered must have been a terrible wound. “Enough, Agnes, enough!” Sholto silenced her, rumbling echoes
around the cavern. The black-robed figure of Agnes that loomed over him glanced at me.
I had a moment to see the gleam of her eyes in the dark ugliness of her face.
The night-hags were ugly; it was part of what they were. One of the shorter, robed guards leaned into Sholto, as if
whispering, but the echoes that hissed along the cave walls were not human
speech. The high-pitched tittering of a nightflyer was coming from the
human-size figure—though it couldn’t be a nightflyer, for it walked upright. Sholto turned back to us. “Are you saying that your queen sent you
here?” “No,” Doyle said. “Princess Meredith,” Sholto called, “we are within our rights to
slay your guards and keep you here until your aunt ransoms you back. Darkness
knows this, as does the Killing Frost. On the other hand, Mistral might have
let his temper lead him astray, and Abeloec can turn up anywhere when he’s lost
in drink, can’t he, Segna?” The figure in the pale yellow cloak spoke in a rough voice. “Aye,
he were unhappy when he sobered up, weren’t you, cup bearer?” I’d heard Abe
called that before as a term of derision, but I’d never understood until
tonight. It was a reminder of what he had once been; a way of rubbing his face
in what he had lost. “You taught me to be more cautious about where I passed out,
ladies,” Abe said, and his voice was his usual casual, amused, bitter tone. The two hags laughed. The other guards joined in a chorus of
hissing laughter, which let me know that whatever the two shorter guards were,
they were the same kind of creature. Sholto spoke. “Don’t worry, Darkness, the hags didn’t help Abe
break his vow of celibacy, for that is a death sentence to all. The tearing of
white sidhe flesh amuses them almost as much as sex.” The high twittering voice came faintly again. Sholto nodded at what
it had said. “Ivar makes a good point. You are all wet and muddy, and that did
not happen here in our garden.” He motioned with his good hand at the caked,
drying earth and the water trapped feet below us, clearly inaccessible. “I would ask permission to bring the princess off this ledge,”
Doyle said. “No,” Sholto said, “she is safe enough there. Answer the question,
Darkness…or Princess…or whoever. How did you get wet and muddy? I know that it
is snowing aboveground; do not use that to lie.” “The sidhe never lie,” Mistral said. Sholto and his guards all laughed. The high tittering mixed with
the rumbling bass/alto of the hags and Sholto’s open, joyous laughter. “The
sidhe never lie: Spare us that, the biggest lie of all,” said Sholto. “We are not allowed to lie,” Doyle said. “No, but the sidhe version of the truth is so full of holes that it
is worse than a lie. We, the sluagh, would prefer a good honest lie to the
half-truths that the court we are supposed to belong to feeds us. We starve on
a diet of near lies. So tell us true, if you can, how came you wet and muddy,
and here?” “It rained in the dead gardens, in our sithen,” Doyle said. “More lies,” Agnes said. I had an idea. “I swear by my honor—” I began. One of the hags
laughed at that, but I kept going. “—and the darkness that devours all things
that it was raining in the Unseelie gardens when we left them.” I’d given not
just an oath that no sidhe would willingly break—because of the curse that went
with the breaking—but the oath that I’d demanded of Sholto weeks ago when he
found me in California. He’d sworn the oath that he meant me no harm, and I’d
believed him. The severity of the oath silenced even the night-hags. “Be careful
what you say, Princess,” Sholto said. “Some magicks still live.” “I know what I swore, and I know what it means, King Sholto, Lord
of That Which Passes Between. I am wet with the first rain to fall upon the
dead gardens in centuries. My skin is decorated with soil reborn, dry no more.” “How is this possible?” Sholto demanded. “It is not possible,” Agnes said. She pointed one dark,
muscled arm at the door. “This is Seelie magic, not Unseelie. They conspire
together to destroy us. I told you, the golden court would never have dared if
they did not have the full support of the Queen of Air and Darkness.” She pointed
a little dramatically at the shiny door. “This proves it.” “Meredith,” Doyle said softly, “make the door go away.” “Whispering will not make you my friend, Darkness,” Sholto said. “I told the princess to make the door go away, so that you would
understand this is not Seelie business.” Agnes turned so suddenly that her hood fell back to reveal the dry
black straw of her hair, the ruin of her complexion, covered in bumps and
sores. The hags hid their ugliness, which was an exception among the sluagh. Most
of them saw every oddity as a mark of beauty, or power. The hags hid
themselves, though—as did the two shorter guards. Agnes pointed the long hand with its black-taloned claws at me.
“She did not conjure this door. She is mortal, and mortal hand never made this
doorway.” “Princess, if you would,” Doyle said low but clear, so that he
couldn’t be accused of whispering. I spoke loudly, so they’d hear me, and the cave caught the echo of
my voice, so that it seemed to bounce along the walls. “I need the door to go
away now, please.” There was a moment’s hesitation, as if the door wanted to give me a
second to reconsider; then, when I didn’t, the door vanished. Sholto’s guards
shifted, and Agnes startled as if something had goosed her. “Mortal flesh
cannot control the sithen. Any sithen.” “I would have agreed with you, until a few hours ago,” I said. “How did you come here?” Sholto asked. “I asked for a door to the dead gardens. It never occurred to me
that any door I could conjure would bring me to your home, Sholto.” “King Sholto,” Agnes corrected me. “King Sholto,” I said dutifully. “Why would that request bring you to our garden, Princess
Meredith?” Sholto asked. “Doyle told me to get us back to the dead gardens. I did just that:
I called a door to the dead gardens. But I did not specify which garden, and
you know the rest.” Sholto stared at me. The triple gold of his irises—molten metal,
autumn leaves, and pale sunshine—made his face beautiful, but it did not make
the look one bit less intense. He stared at me as if he would weigh me with a
look. “This cannot be true,” Agnes said. “If it was a lie, they’d have a better one than this,” Sholto said. “Do you still believe everything that a piece of white sidhe flesh
tells you, King Sholto? Have you learned nothing from what they did to you?”
Agnes asked. I wasn’t sure what she meant, but I guessed it had to do with the
bandages he wore. “Silence,” Sholto said, but there was something in his face, the
way he turned, that spoke of embarrassment. The last time I’d seen Sholto, he
had hidden behind a mask of arrogance, much as Frost did. Whatever mask he had
built to hide behind in court seemed to have shredded, so that he now had
nothing for his emotions to hide behind. “May we approach you, King Sholto?” I asked, and my voice was
clear, but softer. The tall, elegant, arrogant man whom I’d met in Los Angeles wasn’t the same man who stood before me now, shoulders slightly hunched. “No, you may not,” Agnes said, in her strangely rich voice. Most
night-hags spoke in a cackling voice, as if they’d swallowed gravel. Sholto turned on her, and the movement cost him, for he nearly
stumbled. It seemed to feed his anger. “I am king here, Agnes, not you. Me!” He
thumped himself in the upper chest. “Me, Agnes, not you, me! I am still king
here!” He turned to us. The front of his bandages showed fresh blood, as
if he’d torn stitches. Sholto was half highborn sidhe and half of the sluagh,
and the sluagh were even harder to injure than the sidhe. What could have hurt
him this badly? “Bring her onto solid land, Darkness,” Sholto said. Doyle led me forward, carefully. Rhys’s hand never left my other
arm. They eased me out onto the broader shoreline. The others followed, mincing
their way onto secure ground. Doyle took my hand and led me forward, very formally, toward the
waiting sluagh. We had to come forward slowly, because of the bones. We’d seen
what they’d done to Abe, and we were both barefoot. We’d had enough injuries
for the night. “How I hate you, Princess,” Agnes said. Sholto spoke without turning around to look at her. “I am very
close to losing my patience with you, Agnes. You don’t want that.” “They move like shadow and light, so graceful through the bone
field that is our garden,” Agnes said, “and you watch her as if she were food
and drink, and you were starving.” The comment made me look up, away from the dangerous bones. “Do not
do this, Agnes,” he said, but his face was naked to his need. She was right
about that look on his face. It was more than just lust, though it wasn’t love,
either. There was pain in his gaze, like a man watching something that he knew
he could not have, and he wanted that thing more than anything else in the
world. What had laid Sholto bare to the eyes of the world? What had stripped
him to this? Doyle stopped in a space of ground mostly clear of bones, just out
of reach of the sluagh—or as far out of reach as we would get here. The other
men had followed a few steps behind us, as if Doyle had given them some signal
that I hadn’t seen, so they wouldn’t crowd Sholto and his guards. We were in
the wrong. We had invaded their land, not the other way around, so we needed to
be the more polite. I understood that, but looking into Sholto’s face I felt
like we had walked into the middle of something that had nothing to do with us. I began to kneel and pulled Doyle down with me. I bowed my head,
not just to show respect, but because I couldn’t bear the look on Sholto’s face
anymore. I didn’t deserve such a look. I was wet, splattered with mud. I must
have looked like something the cat dragged in out of the storm, yet he stared
at me with a desire that was painful to see. I’d already agreed to have sex
with him, as he was part of the royal guard for the queen, as well as a king in
his own right. He would have me, so why did he look at me the way Tantalus must
have looked in Hades? “You are princess of the Unseelie Court, in line to be queen. Why
do you bow to me?” Sholto’s voice tried to be neutral, and almost achieved it. I spoke, still gazing at the ground, my hand still resting in
Doyle’s. “We came to your lands accidentally, but uninvited. It is we who have
trespassed. We who owe you an apology. You are King of the Sluagh, and though
you are a part of the Unseelie Court, you are still a kingdom in your own right.
I am only a royal princess—perhaps heir to a throne that rules over your
lands—but you, Sholto, you are already a king. A king of the dark host itself.
You and your people are the last great host, the last wild hunt. They are a
wondrous and fearsome thing, the people that call you king. They, and you,
deserve respect in your own lands from anyone less than another high ruler.” I heard someone shift behind me, as if one of the other guards
would have protested some of what I said, but Doyle’s hand was peaceful under
mine. He understood that we were still in danger; besides, what I said was
true. There had been a time when the sidhe understood that you respected all
the kingdoms in your care, not just the ones that were blood of your blood. “Get up, get up, and do not mock me!” Sholto’s words were
inexplicably rage-filled. I looked up to find that handsome face consumed with anger, twisted
with it. “I do not understand—” I began, but he didn’t give me time to finish
the sentence. He strode forward, grabbed my hand, and jerked me to my feet.
Doyle came with me, tightening his grip on my other hand. Sholto’s fingers dug into my upper arm as he pulled me closer and
raged inches from my face. “I did not believe Agnes. I did not believe that
Andais would allow such outrage, but now I do. Now I believe it!” He shook me
hard enough to make me stumble. Only Doyle’s hand kept me from falling. I fought to keep my voice even as I said, “I don’t know what you
are talking about.” “Don’t you, don’t you!” He let go of me abruptly, sending me
stumbling back against Doyle. Sholto dug his uninjured hand into the bandages
at his chest and stomach, tearing at them. Doyle turned his body so that I was on the other side of him, and
his body would be between me and whatever was about to happen. I didn’t argue
with him. Sholto was moody, but I’d never seen him like this. “Did you come so you could see what they did? Did you want to see
it?” He screamed the last, filling the cave with echoes, as if the walls
themselves screamed back. I could see what was under the bandages now. Sholto’s mother had
been a noble lady of the Unseelie Court, but his father had been a nightflyer.
The last time I’d seen Sholto’s upper body bare, without him wasting magic to
make it look smooth and muscled, and fully sidhe, there had been a nest of
tentacles starting a few inches below the breast area to stop just above his
groin. He had the full set of tentacles that the nightflyers used as arms and
legs, as well as the tiny suction-tipped tentacles that were secondary sexual
organs. It had been these little extras that had made me avoid taking him to my
bed—Goddess help me, I’d seen them as a deformity. But that wasn’t a problem
now. The skin where the tentacles had been was now just raw, red, naked flesh.
Whoever had done it hadn’t just chopped the tentacles off, they had shaved them
away, along with most of his skin. “THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE, MEREDITH—YOU DIDN’T
KNOW. YOU really didn’t know.” His voice sounded calmer, half relieved,
half reinjured, as if he hadn’t expected it. I forced myself to look away from the wound, and at his face. The
eyes were too wide, his mouth open, as if he were panting. He looked like he
was in shock. I found my voice, but it was a hoarse whisper. “I did not know.”
I licked my lips and tried to get hold of myself. I was Princess Meredith
NicEssus, wielder of two hands of power, trying to be queen; I had to do better
than this. I was huddled against Doyle, but pulled myself away. If Sholto could
survive such a wound, then the least I could do was not cower in the face of
it. The high-pitched voice came from one of the shorter guards again,
and Sholto spoke as if in response. “Ivar is right. The looks on all your faces
make it clear—none of you knew. On the one hand, I feel less betrayed; on the
other, what it tells me about the politics at work here says it’s more
dangerous for our court—for both our courts.” I stepped toward him, slowly, the way you’d approach a wounded
animal. Slowly, so you don’t scare him more. “Who did this?” I asked. “The golden court did this.” “You mean the Seelie?” He gave a small nod. Doyle said, “Only Taranis himself might be able to wrest you away
from your sluagh. No other noble at his court is powerful enough to take you
like that.” Sholto looked at Doyle, a long, considering look. “That is high
praise from the Queen’s Darkness.” “It is truth. The princess said it best: The sluagh are the last of
the wild hunts. The last left in all of faerie. You and your people alone still
have the wild magic running through your veins. It is not a small power, King
Sholto.” “We should have heard the battle even inside our own sithen,” Frost
said, and there was a question in his voice. Sholto’s eyes flicked to him, then away again, as if he suddenly
found that he didn’t want to meet anyone’s eyes. Segna the Gold’s voice whined from out of her dirty yellow hood.
“What cannot be taken with force of arms, can easily be won with soft flesh.” Sholto didn’t tell her to be quiet. He actually hung his head, so
that a sweep of his own pale hair shadowed his face. I didn’t understand what
Segna meant, but it had clearly hit home for him. “I would not ask this of you,” Doyle said, “but if Taranis’s people
have harmed you, then it is a direct challenge to our queen’s authority. Either
he believes we will not retaliate, or he believes we are not strong enough to
retaliate.” Sholto looked up then. “Now do you understand why I thought Queen
Andais had to know?” Doyle nodded. “Because if she had not given her permission, then
this attack makes even less sense.” “Wars have begun over less,” Mistral said. The comment earned him a glance from Sholto. “The last time I saw
you, you sat in the consort’s chair, at the feet of Princess Meredith.” Mistral bowed. “I was so honored.” “I have sat in the chair, and it was an empty honor. Have you found
it so?” Mistral hesitated, then said, “I have found it everything I would
hope it to be, and more.” I fought not to glance back at him. His voice was so careful, I
knew he saw something in the king before us that I hadn’t seen until now. He
was desperate to know the touch of another sidhe; he wanted to have another’s
glow of high magic to match his own. It hadn’t occurred to me that Sholto had
been here in his own kingdom pining for me to keep my promise and offer him my
body. Assassination attempts, murders, and more political machinations than I
could keep track of had kept me from fulfilling it. But I hadn’t meant to
ignore Sholto. “I did not mean it to be an empty honor, King Sholto,” I said. “I
mean to keep my promise to you.” “Now—you will bed him now.” Segna’s voice again, like a grating
whine. “It’s what the Seelie bitch said, too, that once he healed up, she’d bed
him.” I stared up at him. “You allowed someone to do this to you?” He shook his head. “Never.” Agnes’s voice, more cultured, more human than her sister hag’s.
“Sholto, you have dreamt of being sidhe, completely sidhe, since you were
small. Do not lie to someone who helped raise you.” “I also wanted the wings of a nightflyer to come out of my back
when I was small—do you remember that?” She nodded, that head seeming too large for the narrow shoulders.
“You cried when you realized you would never have wings.” “We want many things when we are children. I admit that there were
times when I wished they were gone.” He made a motion as if he would touch what
was no longer there, the way an amputee will try to scratch a ghost limb. His
hand fell away before it made contact with the raw ruin of his stomach. “How did they trap you, and why did they do this?” Doyle asked. “I am a king in my own right, not just a noble of the queen’s
guard. If the Seelie did not see me as an unclean thing, I could have bedded
one of their sidhe women long ago. But I am considered a worse crime than a
mere Unseelie sidhe. Queen Andais calls me her Perverse Creature, and the
Seelie truly believe that. I am a creature, a thing, an abomination to them.” “Sholto,” I whispered. “Don’t, Princess—I have seen you flinch away from me, too.” I moved toward him. “At first, yes. But since then I have seen you
shining in your power, with a play of colors in those extras so that they shone
like jewels in the sun. I have felt your body thrumming with magic and power,
your nakedness inside my body.” I touched his arm. He didn’t pull away. “You did not fuck him,” Segna said. “No, but I’ve held him in my mouth, and if you hadn’t interrupted
that night, we might have done more.” I had not enjoyed Sholto’s extra bits,
but once he had started to glow with power, his magic responding to my touch, I
had seen him clearly for a shining moment. Seen him as handsome and seen that
nest of tentacles not as a deformity but just as another part of him. I doubted
I could have slept in the same bed with him, but sex…sex had seemed like a good
idea in that moment. I tried to let him see that in my face now, but perhaps it
showed, because he drew away and began to tell the story of the deception. “I should have known it was a lie,” he said. “Lady Clarisse offered
to meet with me. She sent a note saying that she had glimpsed me without my
shirt, and had not been able to stop fantasizing about it. I leapt at the
chance, not stopping to question. I wanted so much to be with another sidhe,
even if it was for only a night.” I didn’t feel guilty very often—few in faerie do—but in that moment
I knew that if I had taken him to my bed, he wouldn’t have been vulnerable to
the Seelie’s trick. Or maybe he would have been more vulnerable—we’d never
know. I tried to hug him without hurting the front of his body. Segna reached
around and shoved me away. “Do not touch her again,” Sholto snapped at Segna, and his voice
was full of a choking anger. “Now she’ll cuddle you,” Segna whined, “now she’ll touch you,
because the icky bits are gone. Now she wants you, just like the other sidhe
bitch.” “She would have touched me that night in Los Angeles if you had
left us alone,” he said. Agnes reached to the other hag and drew her back. “He is right,
Segna. We bear blame in this atrocity, too.” A tear trailed down out of the sickly yellow of Agnes’s eye. She
turned away so I wouldn’t see. Most of faerie cried when we cried, and
displayed any emotion out in the open. It was only when we got close to a
throne that we learned to hide what we felt. We were meant to be a freer people
than this. “Lady Clarisse,” Sholto continued, “took me inside the Seelie
sithen. She led me cloaked through back ways to her room. Then she told me that
although the tentacles fascinated her, she also feared them. She said she could
not bear to have the tentacles touch her while we made love. Here I was truly a
fool—I let her tie me up, so I would not accidentally brush her with the parts
she feared, and said she craved.” He wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes again. I
watched his face redden even through the strands of his white hair. He burned
with embarrassment. “When I was helpless, other sidhe slipped into the room.
They did to me what you see.” “Was their king with them?” Doyle asked. Sholto shook his head. “He is not a king who does his own dirty
work. You know that, Darkness.” “Did the king know?” Doyle said. “They would not have done this without his knowledge,” I said.
“They fear him too much.” “But by not being present, he has left himself room to deny it,”
Sholto said. “If I could see what he hoped to gain from this, I would believe
it of him. But what does this accomplish?” “Some of your people believed that Queen Andais did this to you,
allowed it to be done. Perhaps this atrocity was committed with that as the
intent. You are her strongest ally, King Sholto. If you had left her side, what
then?” Doyle asked. “The only reason for the king to want our queen shorn of her allies
is that he means to make war. And if any of faerie make war on another, our
treaty with America is breached. We will all be cast out of the last country
that would take us in. If Taranis caused that, the rest of faerie would rise up
against him, and he would be destroyed.” We knew that Taranis had done something almost as bad earlier in
the year. He had released the Nameless, a formless being. It had been made of
the discarded power that all the fey had been forced to shed in order to be
allowed to remain in America—one of the restrictions placed on us when
President Jefferson allowed us to immigrate. The faerie had done two weirding
spells in Europe, trying to control ourselves enough to live peaceably with the
humans, but we had done one more here. I don’t think any of the sidhe
understood what we were giving up. I was born long after the spell, so that I
knew our glorious past as stories, legends, rumors. Taranis had released that trapped magic, tried to use it to kill
Maeve Reed. Reed was the golden goddess of Hollywood—and once upon a time, the
goddess of cinema. She had known his secret, that he was infertile, that the
problem of his childlessness wasn’t in the long string of wives that he kept
replacing. It was him, and he had suspected it for a hundred years, when he
cast Maeve Reed out of faerie for refusing his bed. She had done so on the
grounds that the last wife he’d put aside had gotten pregnant by someone else.
She’d told the king to his face that she thought he was infertile, and these
many years later, he’d tried to take his revenge. One of the things that prompted Queen Andais to call me back from
exile had been her discovery from human doctors that she was infertile. The
ruler of a faerie land is the land, and if they are not fertile—not
healthy—the land and people die. It is a very old magic, and a true one. If
Taranis had known about his infertility for a hundred years without revealing
it, then he had condemned his people to death, knowingly. They killed rulers
for such crimes in faerie. “You are all entirely too quiet,” Sholto said to us. “You know
something. Something that I need to know.” “We are not free to discuss it, not openly,” Doyle said. “You will not be allowed to be alone with him,” Agnes said. “We are
not such fools as that.” “I cannot argue with Agnes on this,” Sholto said. Again he made
that gesture as if he would stroke the missing bits. “I have put myself at the
mercy of the sidhe once too often of late.” “We cannot tell this tale without our queen’s permission,” Doyle
said. “It would earn us, at the very least, a trip to the Hallway of
Mortality.” “I would not ask that of anyone,” Sholto said. He lowered his head,
and a sound escaped him. It was almost a sob. I wanted to hug him, but I didn’t
want to anger his hags any further. Besides, they were partially right—I could
touch him now without flinching. Still, I saw it for what it was, something
cruelly done—an amputation. I had felt those muscular tentacles on my body—just
a touch, but they had been real—and they’d had uses, which he now had lost. Sholto spoke low. “The Seelie said they were doing me a favor. That
if I healed without the deformity coming back, the lady in question would keep
her word and bed me for a night.” In sympathy, I started to touch him where the bits had been, then
stopped because the wound was bleeding and raw, and touching it must hurt. “But
the tentacles are part of you. It is like cutting off an arm, or worse.” “Do you know how often I have dreamt of looking like them?” He
motioned at the men at my back. “Agnes is right. I have dreamt of looking fully
sidhe for so long, and now it is as you say, I have lost pieces of myself. I
have lost arms, and more.” “The queen does not know this,” Doyle said. “Are you certain of that, Darkness? Beyond doubt?” Doyle started to simply say yes, then stopped himself. “No,
I am not certain, but she has not told us otherwise; nor have rumors to the
contrary touched our court.” “Wars have begun over less than this, Darkness. Wars between the
courts of faerie.” Doyle nodded. “I know.” “Agnes says that Andais had to have given Taranis her approval—even
if just tacitly—or Taranis would not have risked it. Do you think my hag is
right? Do you think the queen allowed this to happen?” “The sluagh are too important to the queen, King Sholto. I cannot
imagine a set of circumstances in which Andais would risk such hurt to the
sluagh’s vows to her court. I think it more likely that this was done, at least
partially, in a bid to strip our queen of your might. Why didn’t you tell the
queen, the court?” “I thought she must know. That she must have given permission. I
agreed with the hags—I did not think even Taranis would dare to do this without
Andais’s knowledge.” “I cannot argue your reasoning, but I do not believe she knows,”
Doyle said. “Why didn’t you tell me, Sholto?” I asked. “You once said to me
that only the two of us understand what it is like to be almost sidhe.
Almost tall enough, slender enough, almost—but not quite pure enough to be
accepted.” He almost smiled, almost. “We may have had that in common, but as I
told you in Los Angeles, no man had ever complained about your body; only
envious women.” I smiled at him. “About my breasts, you were right.” That earned me
a smile in return, which, given that awful wound, made me breathe more easily.
“But I am too short, too human looking for most of the sidhe, male or female,
to let me forget it.” “I told you then: They were fools,” Sholto said. He took my hand in
his and raised it up for a kiss, but when he tried to bend over me, the pain
stopped him in midmotion. I pressed his hand to my cheek. “Sholto, oh, Sholto.” “I had hoped to hear tenderness in your voice, but not for this
reason. Don’t pity me, Meredith, I could not bear it.” I didn’t know how to respond. I just held his hand against my face,
and tried to think of anything I could say that wouldn’t make him feel worse.
How could I not feel pity? “When did this happen, King Sholto?” Doyle asked. Sholto looked past me to the other man. “Two days ago, just before
your second press conference.” “The one during which two murders were committed,” Rhys said. Sholto looked at him. “You caught your murderer, though the human
police don’t know it yet. I hear you’re trying to let him heal from the torture
before showing him to the human police.” “Our queen made a mess of him,” Rhys said. “He is guilty?” Sholto made it a question. “We believe so,” Doyle said. “But you are not certain?” “What was done to your stomach, Queen Andais did to every inch of
Lord Gwennin.” Sholto winced, and nodded. “One would do much to stop such pain.” “Even confess to something you did not do,” Doyle said. I looked at Doyle then. “Do you think Gwennin is innocent?” “No. Nor do I believe he acted completely alone. Andais was using
his own intestines as a leash on him, Meredith. He would have been a fool not
to confess.” Sholto pressed my hand to his face. Segna tried to interfere but
Agnes stopped her, and the other two guards moved between Sholto and the hags.
I caught a glimpse of one of the guard’s faces. Oblong eyes full of nothing but
color, thin lipless mouth, and a face that was a strange mix of humanoid and
nightflyer. They were like Sholto, but no one would have ever have mistaken
them for sidhe. The eyes, though—the eyes were goblin eyes. The guard stared at
me with his face that looked only half formed, the nostrils mere slits. I did
not look away. I stared, memorized his face, for I had never seen another quite
like it. “You do not find me ugly.” The guard’s voice held that edge of
twittering—almost bird-like, but deeper. “No,” I said. “Do you know what I am?” “The eyes are goblin blood, but the face is nightflyer. I’m not
sure about the rest,” I said. “I am half-goblin and half-nightflyer.” “Ivar and Fyfe are my uncles on my father’s side,” Sholto said. The second guard spoke for the first time. His voice was deeper,
more “human.” He gave me the full gaze of his face. His eyes were the same
oblongs of color, a deep rich blue, but he had more nose, more lower jaw. If
he’d been taller, he might have passed for a goblin. But the skin wasn’t quite
the right texture. “I am Fyfe, brother to Ivar.” He gave the hags an unfriendly
look. “Our king felt the need of some male guards, who were not conflicted
about what to do with his body. We guard it, and that is all.” “This insult was not for lack of our ability to guard,” Agnes said.
“You, too, will be helpless when he chases his next bit of sidhe flesh. He
won’t want an audience, and he will go with her alone.” “Enough, Agnes. Enough, all of you.” Sholto pressed my hand tighter
against his face. “Why didn’t I tell you, Princess? How could I admit that
Seelie did this to me? That I was not warrior enough to save myself? That I
fell into their trap, because they offered me what you had promised? Agnes is
right in one thing: I am near blinded by my desire to be with another sidhe, so
blinded that I let a Seelie woman bind me. So blinded I believed her lie that
she was fascinated with my bits, but afraid of them, too.” He shook his head.
“I am King of the Sluagh, and even bound I should have had enough magic to save
myself from this.” He let go of me, stepped back. “The Seelie have magic that we do not,” Frost said. “The sluagh have magic that the Seelie have never possessed,” I
said. I touched Sholto’s arm. He flinched, but didn’t pull away. I squeezed his
arm, and wanted so badly to hold him, to try to chase this pain away. I rested
my head against his bare arm. My throat closed up, and I was suddenly choking
on tears. I began to weep, clutching at his arm. I couldn’t stop. He pulled me away from him enough to see my face. “You waste tears
on me—why?” I had to struggle to speak. “You are beautiful, Sholto, you
are—don’t let them make you think otherwise.” “Beautiful now that he’s butchered,” Segna said, looming over us,
pushing her way past the uncles. I shook my head. “You broke in on us in Los Angeles. You saw what I
was doing with him. Why would I have been doing those things if he was less
than beautiful to me?” “All I remember from that night, white flesh, is that you killed my
sister.” I had, but by accident. That night, in fear for my life, I had
lashed out with magic I hadn’t known I had. It had been the first night that my
hand of flesh had manifested. It was a terrible power—the ability to turn
living beings inside out, but they did not die. They lived on, impossibly on,
with their mouths lost inside a ball of flesh, and still they screamed. I’d had
to cut her to bits with a magical weapon to finally end her agony. I don’t know what shadows showed on my face, but Sholto reached for
me. Reached for me, to hold me, to give comfort, and it was too much for Segna.
She shoved the other two guards away as if they were straw before a storm wind.
She struck at me, shrieking her rage. Suddenly there was movement behind me, and in front of me. All the
guards moved at once, but Sholto was closest. He used his own body to shield
me, so Segna’s razor claws sliced his own white skin. He took the brunt of the
blow meant for me, and even what was left of that strike staggered me backward,
numbing my arm from shoulder to elbow. It didn’t hurt, because I couldn’t feel
it. Sholto pushed me into Doyle’s arms, and pivoted in the same
movement. The movement was so fast that it surprised Segna, made her stumble
nearer the edge of the lake. Sholto’s good arm was a pale blur as he smashed
into her. The blow sent her over the edge. She seemed to hang there in midair,
her nearly naked body revealed by the wings of her cape. Then she fell. SHE LAY JUST ABOVE THE LOW WATER, IMPALED ON A
SERIES OF spiked bones jutting out of her from throat to stomach. She
hung there, caught, bleeding, like a fish caught on some terrible hook. I think Sholto’s guards expected her to simply draw herself off the
spined ridge of the boned creature. Agnes, especially, seemed to be waiting,
patient, unworried. “Come on, Segna, get up.” Her voice was impatient. Segna lay there and bled, her legs flailing, exposing her most
intimate parts as she struggled. The hags wore a leather belt from which hung a
sword and a pouch, but that, and their cloaks, were all. Her body was both
larger than a human’s and more wizened, as if she were a shrunken giant. I saw the wide eyes, the fright on her face. She wasn’t going to
just get up. Sometimes, being mortal, I recognized real damage faster, because
on a visceral level, I knew it was a possibility. Creatures who are immortal,
or nearly so, don’t understand the disasters that could befall them. “Ivar, Fyfe, go to her.” “With due respect, King Sholto,” Fyfe said, “I would stay here, and
send Agnes down.” Sholto started to argue, but Ivar joined the argument. “We do not
dare leave Agnes up here with you alone. The princess will have guards, but you
will be unprotected.” “Agnes would not hurt me,” Sholto said, but he was staring at Segna
as if he were finally realizing just how bad it might be. “We are your guards, and your uncles. We would be poor at both
duties if we left you alone with Agnes now,” Ivar said in his bird-like voice.
People always expected the nightflyers to have hissing, ugly voices, but Ivar
sounded like a songbird—or how a songbird might sound if it could speak as
humans do. Most of the nightflyers sounded like that. “Segna is a night-hag,” Agnes said. “A mere bone will not bring her
down.” “I tripped on such a bone coming into your garden,” Abe said, and
raised his cloth-wrapped arm at her. Blood had soaked through much of the
cloth. “The bones hold old magic,” Doyle said. “Some of them are things
that hunted the sidhe and the other sluagh before they were tamed by your early
kings.” “Do not lecture me about my own people,” Agnes said. “I remember a time when Black Agnes was not a part of the sluagh,”
Rhys said, softly. She glared at him. “And I remember a time when you had other names,
white knight.” She spat in his direction. “We have both fallen far from what we
once were.” “Go with Ivar, Agnes. Go see to your sister,” Sholto said. She glared at him. “Do you not trust me?” “I once trusted the three of you more than any other, but you
bloodied me before the Seelie got hold of me. You cut me up first.” “Because you sought to betray us with some white-fleshed slut.” “I am king here, or I am not, Agnes. You either obey me, or you do
not. You will go down with Ivar to help Segna, or I will see it as a direct
challenge to my authority.” “You are gravely wounded, Sholto,” said the hag. “You cannot win
against me in this weakened state.” “It is not about winning, Agnes. It is about being king. Either I
am your king, or I am not. If I am your king, then you will do as I say.” “Do not do this, Sholto,” she whispered. “You raised me to be king, Agnes. You told me that if the sluagh do
not respect my threat, then I will not be king for long.” “I did not mean—” “Go with Ivar, now, or it ends between us.” She reached out to him, as if to touch his hair. He jerked back and yelled, “Now, Agnes, go now, or it will end
badly between us.” Fyfe threw back his cloak, revealing his weapons, and each of his
hands touched a sword hilt, ready for a cross-draw. Agnes gave Sholto one last look that was more despair than anger.
Then she followed Ivar down the steep slope of the lake, using her claws to dig
into the soil, so she wouldn’t slide into the bones that spiked the earth. Ivar was already wading through the still water. It came above his
waist, which meant the water was deeper than it had looked. He had to strain to
lay a hand over Segna’s heart between the hanging weight of her breasts. He
turned that lipless, unfinished face to look at Sholto, and the look did not
communicate good news. Agnes was taller than Ivar, and had an easier time in the water—it
came only to her thighs. She waded to the other hag, and when she reached her
let out a wail of despair. Sholto collapsed to his knees on the side of the lake. “Segna,” he
said, and there was real grief in his voice. I knelt beside him, touched his arm. He jerked away. “Every time I
am with you, someone I care about dies, Meredith.” Ivar called up, “I am not certain she is dying. Gravely injured.
She may yet live.” Agnes was petting her sister’s face. But I could see the gaping
mouth, the labored breathing. Blood bubbled from the chest wound when she
breathed, poured down her mouth. It would have been death to most. “Can she survive it?” I asked, softly. “I do not know,” Sholto said. “Once it would not have been a
killing blow, but we have lost much of what we were.” “Abeloec’s wound from the bones is still bleeding,” Doyle said. Sholto’s head drooped, hiding his face in a curtain of that white
hair. I was close enough to hear him crying, though so softly that I doubted
anyone else would hear it. I pretended not to notice, as was only respectful
for a king. Segna reached out to him. She spoke in a voice thick and bubbling
with her own blood, “My lord, mercy.” He raised his face, but kept his hair like a shield on either side,
so only I, kneeling beside him, could see the tracks of tears on his face. His
voice came clear and unemotional; you would never have known the pain in his
eyes from that voice. “Do you ask for healing, or for death, Segna?” “Healing,” she managed to say. He shook his head. “Get her off the bones.” He looked at Fyfe. “Go
help them.” Fyfe hesitated for a moment then slid, carefully, down the slope to
join his brother in the still, thick water. The three of them managed to slide
Segna free of most of the bones. One of them seemed caught on Segna’s own ribs,
and Agnes snapped that spine so that they could lower her into their arms. She
was writhing in pain, and coughing blood. Agnes raised a tearstained face. “We are not the people we once
were, King Sholto. She dies.” Segna reached a shaking hand out to him. “Mercy.” “We cannot save you, Segna. I am sorry,” said Sholto, for it now
seemed clear that this was the case. “Mercy,” she said again. Agnes said, “There is more than one kind of mercy, Sholto. Would
you leave her to a slow death?” Her voice managed to be both tear-choked and
hot with hatred. Such words should burn coming out. Sholto shook his head. Ivar’s high-pitched voice came. “It is your kill, Sholto.” “Their kill—the king’s and the princess’s,” Agnes said,
giving me a look of such venom that I fought not to flinch. If a look could
still kill among us, I would have died from that look in her eyes. She spat
into the water. “She did not strike the blow, I did,” Sholto said as he came to his
feet. He actually stumbled, and I caught him, helped him stand. He didn’t jerk
away, which let me know he was badly hurt. I could see the bleeding wound that
Segna had made, but I didn’t think it was that wound that made me him stumble.
Nor was it the amputation that weakened him now. There are wounds that never
show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. “My apologies, Sholto, but the hag is right,” Ivar’s high voice
said reluctantly, “Segna bled you both. If the princess was not a warrior, then
she would be free of this, but she is a sidhe of the Unseelie Court, and all
who claim that are warriors.” “The princess has killed more than once in challenge,” Fyfe said. “If she will not help finish Segna, then she will never be
acknowledged as queen of the sluagh,” Agnes said. She stroked Segna’s face, a
surprisingly gentle gesture given her dagger-like talons. I heard Doyle sigh. He moved close enough to whisper to me, “If you
do not help make this kill, Agnes will spread the rumor that you are not a
warrior.” “And that would mean what?” I whispered back. “It could mean that when you sit on the throne of the Unseelie Court, the sluagh will not come to your call, for they are a warrior people. They
will not be led by someone who is unbloodied in battle.” “I’ve been bloodied,” I said. The numbness was sliding away, and
now the pain was sharp and tearing. The wound was bleeding freely. What I
needed was to get medical attention, not to wade around in slimy water. “I’ll
need a dose of antibiotics after this.” “What?” Doyle and Sholto both asked. “I’m mortal. Unlike the rest of you, I can get an infection, blood
poisoning. So after we crawl around in that water, I’ll need antibiotics.” “You can truly catch all that?” Sholto asked. “I’ve had the flu, and my father made sure I had all my childhood
immunizations—he wasn’t sure how much I could withstand or heal.” Sholto gazed at me, studying my face. “You are fragile.” I nodded. “Yes, I am, by the standards of faerie.” I looked up at
Doyle. “You know, there are times when I’m not sure I want to be in charge
here.” “Do you mean that?” “If there was a better alternative than my cousin, yes, I mean it.
I’m tired, Doyle, tired. As much as I wanted to come back home to faerie, I’m
beginning to miss L.A. almost as much. To put some distance between me and all
this killing.” “I told you once, Meredith, that if I could bear to give the court
to Cel, I would leave with you.” “Darkness,” Mistral said, “you cannot mean that.” “You have not been outside faerie except for small trips. You have
not seen that there are wonders outside our hills.” He touched my face. “There
are some wonders that will not fade when we leave here.” He had told me that he would give up everything and follow me into
exile. Frost and he, both. When they first thought that the queen’s ring, a
relic of power, had chosen Mistral as my king Doyle had broken down and said he
could not bear it, to watch me with another. He had pulled himself together and
remembered his duty, as I’d remembered mine. Would-be queens and kings did not
run away and hide, and give their countries over to insane tyrants like my
cousin Cel. He was crazier than his mother, Andais. I stared up into Doyle’s face and I wanted him. Wanted to run away
with him. Frost came up beside us. I gazed at my two men. I wanted to wrap them
around me like a blanket. I did not want to climb down into that stinking hole
and wade through razor-sharp bones and dirty water to kill someone I hadn’t
meant to even hurt. “I don’t want this kill.” “It must be your choice,” Doyle said softly. Rhys joined us. “If we’re talking about running away to L.A. permanently, can I come, too?” I smiled at him, touched his face. “Yes, you come, too.” “Good, because once Cel’s on the throne, the Unseelie Court won’t
be safe for anyone.” I closed my eyes, rested my forehead against Doyle’s bare chest for
a minute. I pressed my cheek against him, held him tight, so I could listen to
the slow, steady beat of his heart. Abeloec, who had been quiet, spoke next to my face: “You have drunk
deep of the cup, of both cups, Meredith. Wherever you go, faerie will follow
you.” I looked at him, trying to hear all the double meanings in what
he’d said. “I don’t want this kill.” “You must choose,” Abeloec said. I clung to Doyle for a moment more, then tore myself away. I forced
myself to stand straight, shoulders back, though the shoulder Segna had torn
ached and stung. If my body didn’t heal itself, I’d need stitches. If we could
ever get back to the Unseelie Court, there were healers who could fix me up.
But it was as if something, or someone, didn’t want me getting back there. I
didn’t think it was political enemies, either—I was beginning to feel the hand
of deity pushing firmly in my back. I’d wanted the Goddess and the God to move among us again—all of us
had wanted that. But I was beginning to realize that when the gods move, you
either get out of the way or get swept along for the ride. I wasn’t sure
getting out of the way was an option for me. I caught the faintest scent of apple blossoms, a small…what?
Warning, reassurance? The fact that I wasn’t sure if it was a warning of danger
or a spiritual embrace pretty much summed up my feelings about being the
Goddess’s instrument: Be careful what you wish for. I looked at Sholto, with his wound seeping blood onto his bandages.
He and I had both wanted to belong, truly belong, to the sidhe. To be honored
and accepted among them. Look where it had gotten us. I held my hand out to him, and he took it. He took it, and squeezed
it tight. Even in all this horror and death, I felt in that one touch how much
it meant to him to touch me at all. Somehow, the fact that he still wanted me
so much made it all the worse. “I tried to share life with you, Meredith, but I am King of the
Sluagh, and death is all I have to offer.” I squeezed his hand. “We are both sidhe, Sholto, and that is a
thing of life. We are Unseelie sidhe, and that is a thing of death, but Rhys
reminded me what I’d forgotten.” “What had you forgotten?” “That the deities among us who brought death also once brought
life. We are not meant to be split apart like this. We are not light and dark,
evil and good; we are both and neither. We have all forgotten what we are.” “What I am in this moment,” said Sholto, “is a man who is about to
slay a woman who was my lover, and my friend. I can think of nothing beyond
this moment—as if when she dies at my hand, I will die with her.” I shook my head. “You won’t die, but you may wish you could, for a
moment.” “Only for a moment?” he asked. “Life is a selfish thing,” I said. “If you pass through the sorrow,
outrun the horror, you will begin to want to live again. You will be glad you
didn’t die.” He swallowed hard enough for me to hear it. “I don’t want to pass
through this.” “I’ll help you.” He almost smiled, and it was like a ghost flitting across his face.
“I think you’ve helped enough.” With that he let go of my hand and eased
himself over the edge, using his good hand to keep himself from sliding through
the bones. I didn’t look back at anyone. I just eased myself over the edge and
followed. Looking back wouldn’t make me feel better. Looking back would simply
make me want to ask for help. Some things you have to do yourself. Sometimes
what it means to lead is simply that you can’t ask for help. I found that the bones weren’t sharp on every point—it was mostly
the spines on the tops that were vicious. I grasped softer, rounder-looking
bones, using them as handholds. It took all my concentration to get down to the
water without losing my grip or cutting my hand. The water was surprisingly warm, like bathwater. The soil
underneath it was soft, and mushy, silt rather than mud. The footing was
uncertain, and again I let myself sink into concentration on the task at hand.
I focused on finding footing, avoiding anything that felt like a bone. I did
not want to think about what I was about to do. Segna had tried to kill me twice now, but I couldn’t hate her. It
would have been so much easier if I could have hated her. IF I HADN’T BEEN AFRAID OF GETTING STABBED ON
THE BONES, I would have swum out to where Sholto and Agnes stood holding
Segna. The other two guards, Ivar and Fyfe, were still in the water, still
close, but not holding the fallen woman. The water reached to my shoulders,
stinging in the claw marks that Segna had made on me, and plenty deep enough to
swim in, if it hadn’t hidden those bones beneath its surface. My blood trailed
into the black water, lost. Sholto was cradling Segna’s head and upper body as well as he could
with only one good arm. Agnes was still beside him, helping hold her sister hag
above the water. I stumbled on the soft bottom and went under. I came up
sputtering. Agnes’s voice came clear to me as she said to Sholto, “How can you
want that weak thing? How can that be what you want?” I heard earth sliding, water moving. I turned to find Doyle and
Frost in the water, wading toward me. Agnes yelled, “It is her kill or she will never be queen.” “We do not come to kill for her,” Doyle said. Frost said, “We come to guard her, as your king’s guard protects
him.” His face was an arrogant mask. His pale, expensive suit soaked up the
dirty water. His long silver hair trailed in the water. Somehow, he seemed more
dirtied by the water than anyone else, as if it spoiled his white-and-silver
beauty more grievously. Doyle’s blackness just seemed to melt into the water. The fact that
his long braid trailed in the water didn’t bother him. The only thing he
worried about keeping clean was his gun. Modern guns shoot just fine wet, but
he’d begun using firearms when dry powder meant life or death, and old habits
die hard. I waited for them to reach me, because I wanted the comfort of
their presence while I did this. What I really wanted to do was fall into their
arms and start screaming. I didn’t want to kill anymore—I wanted life for my
people. I wanted to bring life back to faerie, not death. Not death. I waited, and let their hands give me solace. Let them lift me
above the soft, treacherous bottom and guide me through the water. I didn’t
collapse against them, but I let myself take courage from the strength of their
hands. A bone brushed my leg. “Bone,” I said. “A ridge of bone, by the feel of it,” Doyle said. “Are you hoping Segna dies before you get here?” Agnes asked, voice
derisive. The tears shining on her face made me discount the tone. She was
losing someone she had lived with, fought beside, loved, for centuries. She’d
hated me before this; now she’d hate me even more. I did not want her as my
enemy, but it seemed as if no matter what I did, I couldn’t avoid it. “I’m trying not to share her fate,” I said. “I hope you do,” Agnes said. Sholto, tears plain on his face, looked at her. “If you ever raise
a hand to Meredith again, I will be done with you.” Agnes stared at him, searched his face, as she held Segna’s body.
She stared into the face of the man she loved. Whatever she saw there made her
bow her head. “I will do as my king bids.” The words were bitter; it seemed to
tighten my own throat just to hear them. They must have burned in Agnes’s
throat. “Swear it,” Sholto said. “What oath would you have of me?” she asked, head still bowed. “The oath that Meredith gave, that will do.” She shivered, and it wasn’t from cold. “I swear by the darkness
that eats all things that I will not harm the princess here and now.” “No,” Sholto said, “swear that you will never harm her.” She bowed lower, dry black hair trailing into the water. “I cannot
make that oath, my king.” “Why can you not?” “Because I mean her harm.” “You will not swear to never hurt her?” He sounded surprised. “I will not; cannot.” Ivar of the bird voice said, “May I suggest, Your Highness, that
she swear the oath to not harm the princess now, so we can all move about
freely. We can deal with her treachery later, once we’ve dealt with the
urgencies of the present moment.” Sholto clutched Segna to him, and her yellowed hands with their
broken claws grasped at him. “You are right,” he said. He looked at Agnes, who
was still bent over the water and Segna’s body. “Make what oath you will,
Agnes.” She straightened up, the water streaming from her hair. “I swear by
the darkness that eats all things that I will not harm the princess in this
moment.” “May I suggest something, King Sholto?” Doyle asked. “Yes,” Sholto answered, though his eyes were on the dying woman in
his arms. “Black Agnes should add to her oath that she will not harm the princess
while we are here in your garden.” Sholto just nodded and whispered, “Do as he says, Agnes.” “Do the sidhe guards give orders to our king now?” she said. “Do it, Agnes!” he screamed at her, and the scream ended in a sob.
He folded his body over Segna and wept openly. She glared at me, not Doyle, while she spoke, and each word seemed
dragged out of her. “I swear by the darkness that eats all things that I will
not harm the princess while we stand in the dead gardens.” “I think that is as good as we get from her,” Frost said, voice
low. Doyle nodded. “Aye.” They both looked at me, as if they knew this was a bad idea. I
addressed their look aloud. “There’s no way around this, only through it. We
have to live through this moment to get to the next.” Sholto raised his face enough to say, “Segna will not live through
this moment.” He hadn’t been this upset in Los Angeles when I’d done something
much more horrible to Nerys the Grey, his other hag. I didn’t point this out,
but I couldn’t help noting it. They had both been his lovers—but then again, I
knew better than most that you don’t feel for your lovers all the same. Segna
meant something to him, and Nerys had not. Simple, painful, true. I looked past the dying hag to Black Agnes, who watched Sholto
intently. I realized in that moment that she didn’t just weep for Segna’s
death, but like me remembered that he hadn’t wept for Nerys. Was she wondering
if he would weep for her? Or did she already know that he had loved Segna more?
I wasn’t sure, but I could tell it was a raw and painful thought that cut
across her features. She stared at the weeping king, and her thoughts carved
loss across her face. She would not come out of this night’s work simply
mourning Segna. She seemed to feel the weight of my gaze, because she turned. She
looked at me, the grief in her face changing into a fine, burning hatred. I saw
my death in her eyes. Agnes would kill me, if she could. Doyle’s hand tightened on my arm. Frost stepped over the bones in
front of us, hidden by the water, and put his broad shoulders in the way of
Agnes’s look, as if her look alone could somehow hurt me. That time was past.
But there would be more nights, and more ways of making one mortal princess
dead. “She has given her oath,” Sholto said in a choked voice. “It is all
we can do tonight.” That last was some acknowledgment that he saw what we saw
in Agnes’s face. I’d liked to have believed that he could keep a tight enough
rein on the hag, but her look said there would not be a leash of honor, or
love, stronger than her hate. I didn’t want to kill Segna, didn’t want to end her life while
Sholto wept for her. And now I knew that I must also kill Agnes or she’d see me
dead. I might not do the deed myself, and it might not happen today, but I
would have to call for her death. She was too dangerous, too well placed among
the sluagh to be allowed to live. As I let the thought come all the way up to the front of my mind, I
didn’t know whether to laugh, or weep. I didn’t want to kill one hag, and had
hated killing the first, yet I was already planning the death of the third. Frost and Doyle lifted me over the hidden ridge of bones. They half
floated me to Sholto, where he cried over the hag. They tried to let me go, but
I sank to my chin when they released me. They grabbed me in the same moment,
both fishing me higher above the black water. “She must stand on her own two feet for this kill,” Agnes said, her
voice holding some of the deadly heat of her look. “I don’t know if I’m tall enough,” I said. “I have to agree with the hag,” Fyfe said. “The princess must stand
on her own for the kill to be hers.” Frost and Doyle exchanged glances, still holding me between them.
“Let me down slowly,” I said. “I think I can touch bottom.” They did what I asked. If I kept my chin pointed up, I could just
barely keep the dirty water out of my mouth. “We have no weapons with us that will kill the immortal,” Doyle
said. “Nor we,” Ivar said. Sholto looked at me, his face raw with grief, and I fought to meet
that look. He moved, and a tiny wave slapped my face. I began treading water,
so I could keep my head above the surface. As I did so, my leg brushed
something—I thought it was a bone, but it moved. It was Segna’s arm, limp in
the water. My leg brushed it again, and the arm convulsed. “The bones are a killing thing,” I said. Then Segna said in a rattling voice, thick with things that should
never be in the throat of the living, “Kiss me one…last…time.” Sholto leaned over her with a sob. Ivar moved everyone back to give us room. He made certain that
Agnes moved back, too, which meant that Segna’s body began to sink below the
water. I moved forward, tried to help catch her, as I treaded water. I got a
hand on her body, felt the weight of her cloak wrap around my legs. I felt her
tense a heartbeat before her arm, which was behind me now, swept forward. I had
time to turn and put both hands on her arm, to keep the claws from my side. “Merry!” Doyle yelled. I had time to see her other arm sweeping up behind me. I let go of
the arm I was already fending off, and tried to sweep the second arm away from
me. Segna’s body rolled under the water, and took me with her. I HAD TIME TO TAKE A BREATH, THEN WE WERE
UNDERWATER. Segna’s face loomed under the dirty water. Her mouth opened,
screaming at me, blood blossoming from her mouth. My hands dug desperately into
her arms, too small to encircle them, as I forced them away from me and she
dragged me deeper into the water. Too late I realized that there were other ways to kill me than
claws—she was trying to impale me on submerged bone. I kicked my feet to stay
above the bone, to not let her spit me upon it. The point of bone held me on
its tip, and I kicked and pushed to keep it from piercing my skin. Segna pushed
and fought against me. The strength in her arms and body was almost too much
for me. She was wounded, dying, and it was all I could do to keep her from
killing me. My chest was tight; I needed to breathe. Claws, bones, and even the
water itself could kill. If I couldn’t push her off me, all she had to do was
simply hold me underwater. I prayed, “Goddess help me!” A pale hand shone in the water, and Segna was pulled backward, my
grip on her arms pulling me with her. We broke the surface together, both of us
gasping for breath. Her breath ended in a spattering cough that covered my face
in her blood. For a moment I couldn’t see who had pulled her back. I had to
blink her blood out of my eyes to see Sholto with his arm across her upper
body. He held her one-armed and yelled, “Get out, Meredith, get out!” I did what he said: I let her go and pushed backward, trusting that
there were no bones just behind me. Segna didn’t try to catch me. She used her newly freed hands to
claw down Sholto’s arm, making a crimson ruin of his white flesh. I treaded water, looking around for Doyle and Frost, and the
others. There were no others. I was paddling in a lake—a deep, cold lake—no
longer the shallow, stagnant pool we’d been wading in before. There was a small
island close at hand, but the shore was far away, and it was not a shore I
knew. I screamed, “Doyle!” But there was no answer. In truth, I hadn’t expected
one, for I could already see that we were either in a vision, or somewhere else
in faerie. I didn’t know which, and I didn’t know where. Sholto cried out behind me. I turned in time to see him go under in
a wash of red. Segna struck at the water where he’d vanished with the dagger
from her belt. Did she realize it was him she attacked now, or did she still
think she was killing me? I screamed, “Segna!” The sound seemed to reach her, because she hesitated. She turned in
the water and blinked at me. I pushed myself high enough out of the water so she could see me.
Sholto had not yet resurfaced. Segna screamed at me, the sound ending in a wet cough. Blood poured
down her chin, but she started moving toward me. I screamed, “Sholto!” hoping Segna would realize what she’d done
and turn back to rescue him. But she kept swimming, weakly, toward me. “He is only white flesh now,” she growled, in that too thick, too
wet voice. “He is only sidhe, not sluagh.” So much for her helping Sholto—obviously it was up to me. I took a
good breath and dived. The water was clearer here, and I saw Sholto like a pale
shadow sinking toward the bottom, blood trailing upward in a cloud. I screamed his name, and the sound echoed through the water. His
body jerked, and just then something grabbed my hair and yanked me upward. Segna pulled me through the water. I could see that she was making
for the bare island. My naked back hit the rocks, scraped along them, as she
struggled from the lake. She pulled me with her, until both of us were free of
the water. She lay panting on the rock, her hand still tangled in my hair. I
tried to ease away from that hand, but it convulsed tighter, wrenching my hair
as if she meant to take it out by the roots. She started dragging me closer to
where she lay. I fought to get up on all fours so she wouldn’t scrape more of my
skin off on the bare rock. In order to do so, I had to take my gaze off her for
an instant. It was a mistake. She jerked me down with that strength that could
have torn a horse apart. Jerked me down, onto my stomach. I wedged an arm under
my body to keep me off the rocks. Then I saw that she still held the dagger. She pressed it to my cheek.
I gazed at her along the line of the blade. She was lying down, almost flat
against the rocks. “I’ll scar you,” she said. “Ruin that pretty face.” “Sholto is drowning.” “The sluagh cannot die by water. If he is sidhe enough to drown,
then let him.” “He loves you,” I said. She made a harsh sound that spattered her chin with more blood.
“Not as much as he loves the thought of sidhe flesh in his bed.” I couldn’t argue with that. The tip of her blade wavered above my cheek. “How much sidhe are
you? How well do you heal?” I thought it was a rhetorical question, so I didn’t answer it.
Would she die of her wounds before she hurt me, or would she heal? She coughed blood onto the stones, and it was as if she wondered
the same thing. She used her grip on my hair to force me onto my back, dragging
me closer as she did it. I couldn’t stop her—I could not fight against such
strength. She crawled on top of me and put her blade tip over my throat. I
grabbed her hand, wrapped both my hands around it, and still trembled with the
effort to hold her off me. “So weak,” she gasped above me. “Why do we follow the sidhe? If I
were not dying, you could not hold me off.” My voice came out tight with strain as I said, “I’m only part
sidhe.” “But you’re sidhe enough for him to want you,” she growled. “Glow
for me, sidhe! Show me that precious Seelie magic. Show me the magic that makes
us follow the sidhe.” Her words were fatal. She was right. I had magic. Magic that no one
else had. I called my hand of blood. As I summoned it, I tried not to think
about the fact that I could have done it sooner—before she hurt Sholto. I wielded the hand of blood. I could have made her bleed out from
just a tiny cut, and these were not tiny cuts. I started to glow under the
press of her body. My body shone through the blood she was dripping on me. I
whispered, “Not Seelie magic, Segna, Unseelie magic. Bleed for me.” She didn’t understand at first. She kept trying to shove the blade
into my throat, and I kept holding her just off me. She dug her hand into my
hair so that her claws raked my scalp, bloodied me. I called blood, and her
wounds gushed. The blood poured over me, hot—hotter than my own skin. I turned my
head away to keep my eyes clear of it. My hands grew slippery with her blood,
and I was afraid that her knife would slip past my defenses before I could
bleed her out. So much blood; it poured and poured and poured. Could a
night-hag bleed to death? Could they even be killed this way? I didn’t know, I
just didn’t know. The tip of her knife pierced my skin like a sharp bite. My arms
were shaking with the effort to keep her off me. I screamed, “Bleed for me!” I
spat her blood out of my mouth, and still her knife wormed another fraction
into my throat. Barely, barely below the skin—I wasn’t hurt yet, but I would be
soon. Then her hand hesitated, pulled backward. I blinked up at her
through a mask of her own blood. Her eyes were wide and startled. There was a
white spear sticking out through her throat. Sholto stood above her, bandages gone, his wound bare to the air,
both hands gripping the spear. He pulled the spear out with a wrenching motion.
A fountain of blood spilled out of her neck. I whispered, “Bleed.” She
collapsed in a pool of crimson, the knife still clasped in her hand. Sholto stood over her and drove the white spear into her back. She
spasmed underneath him, her mouth opening and closing, hands and feet
scrabbling at the bare rock. Only when she stopped moving completely did he take the spear out.
He stood swaying, but used the tip to send her dagger spinning into the lake.
Then he collapsed to his knees beside her, leaning on the spear like a crutch. By the time I staggered to him, I wasn’t glowing. I was tired, and
hurt, and covered in my enemy’s blood. I fell to my knees beside him on the
bloody rock, and I touched his shoulder, as if I wasn’t sure he was real. “I
saw you drown,” I said. He seemed to have trouble focusing on me, but said, “I am sidhe and
sluagh. We cannot die by drowning.” He coughed hard enough that he doubled
over, throwing up water onto the rock, as he clung to the white shaft of the
spear. “But it hurts as if it were death.” I embraced him, and he winced, covered in wounds new and old. I
held him more carefully, clinging to him, covering his upper body in Segna’s
blood. His voice came rough with coughing. “I’m holding the spear of bone.
It was one of the signs of kingship once for my people.” “Where did it come from?” I asked. “It was in the bottom of the lake, waiting for me.” “Where are we?” I asked. “It’s the Island of Bones. It used to be in the middle of our
garden, but it has become the stuff of legend.” I touched what I’d thought was rock, and found he was right. It was
rock, but the rock had once been bone. The island was made up of fossils. “It
feels awfully solid for a legend,” I said. He managed a smile. “What in the name of Danu is going on,
Meredith? What is happening?” I smelled roses, thick and sweet. He raised his head, looked around him. “I smell herbs.” “I smell roses,” I said, softly. He looked at me. “What is happening, Meredith? How did we get
here?” “I prayed.” He frowned at me. “I don’t understand.” The smell of roses grew thicker, as if I were standing in a summer
meadow. A chalice appeared in my hand, where it lay against Sholto’s naked
back. He startled away from the touch of it as if it had burned him. He
tried to turn too quickly, and it must have pained the open wound on his
stomach, for he winced, sucking in his breath sharply. He fell back onto his
side, the spear still gripped in one hand. I held up the gold-and-silver cup so that it caught the light. It
was really only then that it sank in that there was light here. It was
sunlight, glinting on the cup, and warm on my skin. For my life, I couldn’t remember if there had been sun a moment
ago. I might have asked Sholto, but he was focused on what was in my hand, and
whispered, “It can’t be what I think it is.” “It is the chalice.” He gave a small shake of his head. “How?” “I dreamt of it, as I dreamt of Abeloec’s horn cup, and when I woke
it was beside me.” He leaned heavily on the spear, and reached toward the shining cup.
I held it out toward him, but his fingers stopped just short of it, as if he
feared to touch it. His reluctance reminded me that things could happen if I touched
one of the men with the chalice. But weren’t we in vision? And if so, would
that hold true? I looked at Segna’s body, felt her blood drying on my skin. Was
this vision, or was it real? “And is not vision real?” came a woman’s voice. “Who said that?” Sholto asked. A figure appeared. She was hidden completely behind the grey of a
hooded cloak. She stood in the clear sunlight, but it was like looking at a
shadow—a shadow with nothing to give it form. “Do not fear the touch of the Goddess,” the figure said. “Who are you?” Sholto whispered. “Who do you think I am?” came the voice. In the past, she had
always either appeared more solid or been only a voice, a scent on the wind. Sholto licked his lips and whispered, “Goddess.” My hand rose of its own accord. I held the chalice out to him, but
it was as if someone else were moving my hand. “Touch the chalice,” I
whispered. He kept his grip on the spear, leaning on it, as he stretched out
his other hand. “What will happen when I touch it?” “I don’t know,” I said. “Then why do you want me to do it?” “She wants you to,” I said. He hesitated again with his fingers just above the shining surface.
The Goddess’s voice breathed around us with the scent of summer roses:
“Choose.” Sholto took in a sharp breath and blew it out, like a sprinter,
then touched the gold of the cup. I smelled herbs, as if I had brushed against
a border of thyme and lavender around my roses. A black-cloaked figure appeared
beside the grey. Taller, broader of shoulders, and somehow—even shrouded by the
cloak—male. As the cloak could not hide the Goddess’s femininity, so the cloak
could not hide the God’s masculinity. Sholto’s hand wrapped around the chalice, covering my hand with
his, so that we both held the cup. The voice came deep, and rich, and ever changing. I knew the voice
of the God, always male, but never the same. “You have spilled your blood,
risked your lives, killed on this ground,” he intoned. That dark hood turned
toward Sholto, and for a moment I thought I saw a chin, lips, but they changed
even as I saw them. It was dizzying. “What would you give to bring life back to
your people, Sholto?” “Anything,” he whispered. “Be careful what you offer,” the Goddess said, and her voice, too,
was every woman’s, and none. “I would give my life to save my people,” Sholto said. “I do not wish to take it,” I responded, because the Goddess had
offered me a similar choice once. Amatheon had bared his neck for a blade, so
that life could return to the land of faerie. I had refused, because there were
other ways to give life to the land. I was descended from fertility deities,
and I knew well that blood was not the only thing that made the grass grow. “This is not your choice,” she said to me. Was there a note of
sorrow in her voice? A dagger appeared in the air in front of Sholto. Its hilt and blade
were all white, and gleamed oddly in the light. Sholto’s hand left the chalice
and grabbed for the knife, almost by reflex. “The hilt is bone. It is the match
to the spear,” Sholto said, and there was soft wonder in his voice as he gazed
at the dagger. “Do you remember what the dagger was used for?” said the God. “It
was used to slay the old king. To spill his blood on this island,” Sholto
replied obediently. “Why?” the God asked. “This dagger is the heart of the sluagh, or was once.” “What does a heart need?” “Blood, and lives,” Sholto answered, as if he were taking a test. “You spilled blood and life on the island, but it is not alive.” Sholto shook his head. “Segna was not a suitable sacrifice for this
place. It needs a king’s blood.” He held the knife out toward the God’s shadowy
figure. “Spill my blood, take my life, bring the heart of the sluagh back to
life.” “You are the king, Sholto. If you die, who will take back the
spear, and bring the power back to your people?” I knelt there, the blood growing tacky on my skin. I cradled the
chalice in my hands, and had a bad feeling that I knew where this talk was
going. Sholto lowered the knife and asked, “What do you want of me, Lord?” The figure pointed at me. “There is royal blood to spill. Do it,
and the heart of the sluagh will live once more.” Sholto stared at me, the look on his face full of shock. I wondered
if my face had looked that way when the choice had been mine. “You mean for me
to kill Meredith?” “She is royal blood, a fit sacrifice for this place.” “No,” Sholto said. “You said you would do anything,” the Goddess said. “I can offer my life, but I cannot offer hers,” Sholto said. “It
isn’t mine to give.” His hand was mottled with the force of his grip on the
hilt of the knife. “You are king,” the God said. “A king tends his people, he doesn’t butcher them.” “You would condemn your people to a slow death for the life of one
woman?” Emotions chased over Sholto’s face, but finally he dropped the
knife on the rock. It rang as if it were the hardest metal rather than bone. “I
cannot, will not harm Meredith.” “Why will you not?” “She is not sluagh. She should not have to die to bring us back to
life. It is not her place.” “If she wishes to be queen over all of faerie, then she will be
sluagh.” “Then let her be queen. If she dies here, she will not be queen,
and that will leave us with only Cel. I would bring life back to the sluagh and
destroy all of faerie in one blow. She holds the chalice. The chalice, my lord.
The chalice after all these years is returned. I do not understand how you can
ask me to destroy the only hope we have.” “Is she your hope, Sholto?” the God asked. “Yes,” he whispered. There was so much emotion in that one word. The dark figure looked at the grey. The Goddess spoke. “There is no
fear in you, Meredith. Why not?” I tried to put it into words. “Sholto is right, my lady. The
chalice has returned to us, and magic is returning to the sidhe. You use my
body as your vessel. I do not think you would waste all that on one bloody
sacrifice.” I glanced at Sholto. “And I have felt his hand in mine. I have felt
his desire for me. I think it would destroy something in him to kill me. I do
not believe my God and Goddess so heartless as that.” “Does he love you then, Meredith?” “I do not know, but he loves the idea of holding me in his arms.
That I know.” “Do you love this woman, Sholto?” the God asked. Sholto opened his mouth, closed it, then said, “It is not a
gentleman’s place to answer such questions in front of a lady.” “This is a place for truth, Sholto.” “It’s all right, Sholto,” I said. “Answer true. I won’t hold it
against you.” “That’s what I’m afraid of,” he said softly. The look on his face made me laugh. The laughter echoed on the air
like the song of birds. “Joy will suffice to bring this place back to life,” the Goddess
said. “If you bring life to this place with joy, then you will change the
very heart of the sluagh. Do you understand that, Sholto?” the God said. “Not exactly.” “The heart of the sluagh is based on death, blood, combat, and
terror. Laughter, joy, and life will make a different heart for the sluagh.” “I am sorry, my lord, but I do not understand.” “Meredith,” the Goddess said, “explain it to him.” The Goddess was
beginning to fade, like a dream as dawn’s light steals through the window. “I do not understand,” Sholto said. “You are sluagh and Unseelie sidhe,” the God said; “you are a
creature of terror and darkness. It is what you are, but it is not all you
are.” With that, the dark shape began to fade, too. Sholto reached out to him. “Wait, I don’t understand.” The God and Goddess vanished, as if they’d never been, and the
sunlight dimmed with them. We were left in gloom. It was the twilight of the
underground of faerie these days—not the aberration of the momentous sunlight
that had bathed us moments ago. Sholto yelled, “My God, wait!” “Sholto,” I said. I had to say it twice more before he looked at
me. His face was stricken. “I don’t know what they want from me. What
am I to do? How do I bring the heart of my people back with joy?” I smiled at him, the mask of blood cracking with it. I had to clean
off this mess. “Oh, Sholto, you get your wish.” “My wish? What wish?” “Let me clean off some of this blood beforehand.” “Before what?” I touched his arm. “Sex, Sholto, they meant sex.” “What?” The look on his face, so astonished, made me laugh again.
The sound echoed across the lake, and again I thought I heard birdsong. “Did you hear that?” “I heard your laughter, like music.” “This place is ready to come back to life, Sholto, but if we use
laughter and joy and sex to make it happen, then it will be a different place
than it was before. Do you understand that?” “I’m not sure. We are going to have sex here, now?” “Yes. Let me wash off some of the blood, and then yes.” I wasn’t
sure he’d heard anything else I’d said. “Have you seen the new garden outside
the throne room doors in the Unseelie sithen?” He seemed to have to fight to concentrate, but finally he nodded.
“It’s a meadow with a stream now, not the torture area the queen had made of
it.” “Exactly,” I said. “It was a place of pain and now it’s a meadow
with butterflies and bunnies. I’m part Seelie Court, Sholto, do you understand
what I’m saying? That part of me will impact the magic we do here and now.” “What magic will we perform here and now?” he asked, smiling. He
was still leaning heavily on the spear, the raw wound of what the Seelie had
done to him bare to the air. I’d had enough of my own injuries to know that
just the touch of air hurt when the skin was abraded. The bone knife lay next
to Sholto’s knees. Truthfully, I’d thought it might vanish when the God and
Goddess went—for he had refused to use it for its true purpose. Nevertheless,
Sholto was still surrounded by major relics of the sluagh. He’d been visited by
deity. We knelt in a place of legend, with the possibility of bringing his
people to a rebirth of their powers. And all he seemed to be able to think of
was the fact that we might be having sex. I looked in his face. I tried to see past the almost shy
anticipation there. He seemed afraid to be too eager. He was a good king, yet
the promise of sex with another sidhe had chased all the cautions from his
mind. I could not allow him to leap in, though, until I was sure he understood
what might happen to his people. He had to understand or…or what? “Sholto,” I said. He reached out to me. I took his hand to keep him from touching my
face. “I need you to hear me, Sholto, to truly hear me.” “I will listen to anything you say.” He was willing to follow my lead. I’d noticed that about him in L.A.—that the dominant, frightening king of the sluagh became submissive in intimate
situations. Had Black Agnes taught him that, or Segna? Or was he just wired
that way? I patted his hand, more friendly than sexual. “What I bring to sex
magic is meadows and butterflies. Some of the corridors in the Unseelie mound
are turning to white marble with veins of gold.” His face became a little more serious, less amused. “Yes, the queen
was most upset,” he said. “She accused you of remaking her sithen in the image
of the Seelie Court.” “Exactly,” I said. His eyes widened. “I didn’t do it on purpose,” I said. “I don’t control what the
energy does with the sithen. Sex magic isn’t like other magicks—it’s wilder,
and has more a mind of its own.” “The sluagh are wild magic, Meredith.” “Yes, but wild sluagh and wild Seelie magic aren’t the same.” He turned my hand palm-up. “You bear the hand of flesh and the hand
of blood. Those are not Seelie powers.” “No. In combat I seem to be all Unseelie, but in sex magic it is
the Seelie in my blood that comes out. Do you understand what that might mean
for your sluagh?” All the light seemed to drain from his face, so somber now. “If we
have sex, and the sluagh are reborn, you might remake the sluagh in your
image.” “Yes,” I said. He stared at my hand as if he’d never seen it before. “If I had
taken your life, then the sluagh would have remained what they are: a terrible
darkness to sweep all before us. If we use sex to bring life back to my people,
then they may become more like the sidhe, or even the Seelie sidhe.” “Yes,” I said, “yes.” I was relieved that he finally understood. “Would it be so terrible if we were more sidhe?” He almost
whispered it, as if he spoke to himself. “You are their king, Sholto. Only you can make this choice for your
people.” “They would hate me for making this choice.” He stared at me. “But
what other choice is there? I will not spill your life away, not even to bring
life back to all of my kingdom.” He closed his eyes and let go of my hand. He
began to glow, soft, and white like the moon rising through his skin. He opened
his eyes, and the triple gold of his irises gleamed. He traced a glowing
fingertip across the palm of my hand, and it drew a line of cold white fire
across my skin. I shuddered from that small touch. He smiled. “I am sidhe, Meredith. I understand that now. I am
sluagh, too, but I am also sidhe. I want to be sidhe, Meredith. I want to be
fully sidhe. I want to know what it feels like to be what I am.” I drew my hand back from him, so I could think without the press of
his power against my skin. “You are king here. You must make this choice.” My
voice was a little hoarse. “It is no choice,” he said. “You dead, and lost to all of faerie—or
you in my arms? It is no choice.” He laughed then, and his laughter, too,
echoed across the lake. I heard chimes, or birds, or both. “Besides, Darkness
and Frost would kill me if I took you as a sacrifice.” “They would not slay the king of the sluagh and bring war to
faerie,” I said. “If you truly believe that their loyalties are still to faerie
rather than to you alone, then you do not see their eyes when they look at you.
Their vengeance would be terrible, Meredith. The fact that there are still
assassination attempts against you only shows that some of the sidhe do not yet
understand how short-leashed the queen has kept Darkness and Frost. Especially
Darkness,” he said, his voice going low. His face looked haunted. He shook the
thought away and looked back at me. “I have seen the Darkness hunt. If Hell
Hounds, Yeth Hounds, still existed among us, they would belong to the sluagh,
to the wild hunt, and the blood of that wild hunt still runs through Doyle’s
veins, Meredith.” “So you do not kill me for fear of Doyle and Frost?” He looked at me, and for a moment let the veil drop from those
glowing eyes. He let me see his need, such need, as if it should have been
carved in letters across the air. “It is not fear that impels me to spare your
life,” he whispered. I gave him a smile, and the chalice still gripped in my hand pulsed
once against my skin. The chalice would be part of what we did. “Let me wash
some of this blood away. Then I will put my glow against yours.” His own glow began to fade a little, his burning eyes cooling to as
normal as they ever got. It was hard to call his triple-gold irises normal,
even by sidhe standards, though. “I am hurt, Meredith. I would have had our
first time together be perfect. I’m not certain how much good I’m going to be
to you tonight.” “I’m hurt, too,” I said, “but we’ll both do our best.” I stood up
and found my body stiff with injuries I hadn’t even realized I’d suffered—small
wounds that I must have received in the fight. “I will not be able to make love the way you wish it,” he said. “How do you know what I wish?” I asked as I made my way slowly
across the rough and smooth of the rock. “You had quite an audience for Mistral’s turn with you. The rumors
have grown, but if even part of it is true, I will not be able to dominate you
as he did.” I slid into the water. It found every small cut and scrape. The
water was cool and soothing, but at the same time it made the wounds burn. “I
don’t want to be dominated right now, Sholto. Make love to me—let it be gentle
between us, if that is what we want.” He laughed again, and I heard bells. “I think gentle is all I’m
capable of tonight.” “I do not always want rough, Sholto. My tastes are more varied than
that.” I was shoulder-deep in the water now, trying to get the blood off me.
The blood began to dissolve in the water, washing away almost more easily than
it should have. “How varied are your tastes?” he asked. I smiled at him. “Very.” I dunked under the water in a bid to get
the blood off my face, out of my hair. I came up gasping, wiping the runnels of
pinkish water from my face. I went under two more times until the water ran
clear. Sholto was at the edge of the island when I came up the last time.
He was standing, using the spear like a crutch. The white knife was tucked
carefully through the cloth of his pants, the way you’d stick a pin through:
in, then out, so the point was exposed to the air. He offered me his hand. I
took it, though I could have gotten out by myself, and I knew that bending over
must hurt him. He lifted me out of the water, but his eyes never got to my face.
His gaze stayed on my body, my breasts, as the water ran down them. There are
women who would have taken offense, but I wasn’t one of them. In that moment he
wasn’t a king, he was a man—and that was just fine with me. SHOLTO LAY NAKED BEFORE ME. I’D NEVER SEEN HIM
LIKE THAT, lying naked, and waiting, knowing that we didn’t have to
stop. The first and only time I’d seen him completely nude he’d still had
extras. But he had used his own personal magic then to make his stomach look
like the perfect six-pack abs. Even to the touch, I hadn’t been able to feel
what I’d known was there. He was very good at personal glamour, but then he’d
spent years hiding that bit of deformity. Now he lay back, using his own pants as some small cushion against
the stone. The Seelie had skinned him from just below his ribs to just above
his groin. I’d seen the wound, but now it loomed larger. The pain must have
been a fearsome thing. He had laid the white spear and the bone knife to one side of him.
I had set the chalice on the other side of him. We would make love between the
chalice, symbol of the Goddess, and two symbols that were oh, so masculine. The air above his body wavered, like heat off a road, and the next
moment there was no wound. He was back to creating the illusion of that perfect
six-pack. Of all my lovers, only Rhys had it for real. “You don’t need to hide,
Sholto,” I said. “The look on your face is not the look I want to see the first time
we make love, Meredith.” “Take the glamour away, Sholto, let me truly see you.” “It is no more beautiful than what used to be there.” His voice was
sad. I touched the smooth skin of his shoulder. “You were beautiful. You
are beautiful.” He gave me a smile as sad as his tone. “Meredith, no lies, please.” I studied his face. He was as fair of face as Frost, who was one of
the most perfect men I’d ever seen. I said out loud, “The queen once called you
the most perfect sidhe body she had ever seen. You are wounded, you will heal;
it has not changed the perfection of you.” “The queen said that it was a pity that one of the most perfect
sidhe bodies she’d ever seen was ruined by such deformity.” Okay, maybe mentioning the queen’s words hadn’t been a good idea. I
tried again. I crawled to his face and leaned over to touch his lips with mine.
But it was a cold kiss, and he barely responded. I drew back. “What is wrong?” “In Los Angeles, even the sight of you clothed hardened my body.
Tonight I am weak.” I gazed down the long length of his body to find that he was still
soft, and as small as he got. He was one of those men that wasn’t truly small
even when soft; a shower, not a grower. I had magic in me that could bring a man to life, as it were, but
it was Seelie magic. I wanted to use less Seelie magic in this union, not more.
Although Sholto had made the decision to accept the risk, I feared for the
sluagh. I feared them losing their identity as a people. Of course, there were other ways to bring a man to life besides
magic. I crawled, carefully, on the bare rocks, until I knelt by his hip.
“You aren’t weak, Sholto, you’re hurt. There is no shame in that.” “To see you nude and not to react is shameful.” I gave him the smile he needed and said, “I think we can fix that.” “Magic?” he said, staring down his body at me. I shook my head. “No magic, Sholto, just this.” I traced my hand
over his thighs, reveling in the smooth skin. The fey didn’t have much body
hair, but I think the fact that he was part nightflyer—a creature that had no
hair—made him utterly smooth. Smooth as a woman and so soft, yet terribly male
from the bottoms of his feet to the top of his head. I traced along the inside
of his thighs and he spread them for me, so that I could sweep upward and touch
the silken skin between his legs. He was still soft and loose as I rolled those
delicate balls in my hand. The touch bowed his spine, sending his head back, eyes closed. But
with the pleasure came a sound of pain. The movement had hurt the butchered
skin across the middle of his body. What progress I’d made wilted in the face
of such pain. He threw his arm across his eyes and made a sound between a sob and
a yell. “I will be useless to you tonight, Meredith. I will be useless to my
people. I will not bring us back to life with death, and I cannot bring us back
with life.” “I would wait until you were healed, Sholto, if I could. But this
night is about bringing life back to faerie. Console yourself—we will have
other nights, or days. Other times, after you are healed, to do what we want to
do. Tonight, we do what we must.” He uncovered his eyes and gazed down at me. His face held such
despair. “I can’t think of any intercourse position that isn’t going to hurt
you, and you don’t like pain,” I said. “I did not say I did not like pain, but not this much.” I stored that away for future reference. “I know. There are limits
for most of us beyond which pain is just pain.” “I am sorry, Meredith, but I fear I have reached that point with
these wounds.” “We’ll see,” I said. I leaned back over his body until I could kiss
the front of him. I drew him, gently, into my mouth. The only other time I’d
had him in my mouth he had been long and hard, and eager. Tonight his body was
quiet, loose, and still. At first, I was almost impatient, but I let that go. This was not a
moment for impatience, or hurrying—this was Sholto’s first time with another
sidhe. This was one of his most treasured dreams, and he was coming to it hurt,
and not at his best. He’d probably fantasized this moment, and now none of his
fantasies was coming true. Reality was a harsher mistress than imagination. I let go of the impatience. I stopped wondering what Doyle and
Frost and the others must be thinking. I let go the thought that my powers were
growing and I had no idea what they would do next. I let all the worries go,
and gave myself over to this moment. I gave myself over to the sensation of him
in my mouth. I had been denied the chance to give oral sex to most of my lovers.
They didn’t want to risk spilling their seed anywhere but between my legs,
wasting a chance to father the next heir to the throne—a chance to make
themselves king to my queen. I didn’t blame them, but I loved oral sex, and I’d
missed performing it. The few times I’d been able to persuade anyone, he had
already been excited—big, hard, which was a pleasure all its own—but I liked
the feel of a man when he was small. So much easier to take all of him in my
mouth. No straining, no fighting all that length or width. I rolled him in my mouth, sucking gently, at first. But I wanted to
enjoy all the sensation I could while he remained small, so I increased in
intensity. I could feel him moving in my mouth, the skin sliding, the meat of
him so easy to work with. I sucked him fast and faster, until he cried out,
“Enough, enough.” I moved to the loose roll of his balls, licking along the skin,
sliding all that silkiness between my lips and tongue. I watched him grow
larger as I played with his balls. I rolled one testicle, carefully, into my
mouth so I could play with all of it. He was too big for me to try to take both
in at the same time; it would be too easy to injure such tender parts. The last
thing I wanted to do was cause him any new pain. His eyes were wild as they looked down his body at me. The gold of
his eyes started to glow—molten gold in the center, amber shot through with
sun, then a pale yellow-gold like elm leaves in fall. One moment his eyes were
all that glowed, and the next that light exploded down his body, as if white
light were liquid running just under his skin. His skin glowed even underneath
the red ruin, as if he were carved of rubies set in ivory, with the sun glowing
through the white and red of his body. I moved over his body, not with him inside, but with a knee on
either side of his hips. I gazed down at him, wanting to remember the beauty of
him the first time. The glow had spread to the tips of his hair, as if every
strand were dipped in moonlight. He was a thing of light and magic, but as I
used my hand to help slide him inside me, he was all silken skin, and muscle. I slipped the head of him inside me, and found I was almost too
tight. I’d performed all the foreplay on him, and received none for myself. I
was wet from the pleasure, but tight, so very tight. He managed to gasp out, “You’re not open enough.” “Is it hurting you?” My own voice sounded whispery. “No,” he whispered. “Then I want to feel you force your way into me. I want to feel
each inch push inside while I’m this tight.” I wriggled my hips a little lower,
fighting for each delicious inch. I was so tight that he touched every bit of
me, sliding heavy and slow over that spot inside me. I meant to have him inside me as deep as he’d go before my release,
but my body had other ideas. It was as if my body being so tight around his
made his body press just right, just exactly right against that one spot. One
moment I was trying to be so careful, easing him inside me, and the next I was
screaming my orgasm, my body bucking around his, the movement forcing more of
me down the shaft of him faster than I would have managed without it. And as
long as I could keep pushing him inside me the orgasm kept going. It kept on as
I shoved him inside me, and somewhere before the last inch of him went inside,
he started helping to push. I sat on top of him with our bodies wedded as close as man and
woman could be, the orgasm dancing me above him. I was aware, vaguely, that my
skin was glowing—a moon shine to match his own. The wind of my own power blew
my hair around my face, garnets sparkling in fire. My eyes glowed so brightly
that I could see the colored shadows of the green and gold of my own eyes at
the edges of my vision. I screamed and writhed above him on wave after wave of
pleasure. This had not been planned, or achieved with skill, but more by luck; a
key sliding into a lock at the perfect moment. Our bodies took that moment and
rode it. I heard him scream my name, felt his body buck under mine, felt him
drive himself home as hard and as fast as he could. He hit the end of me, and
that orgasmed me again. I threw my head back and screamed his name to the
heavens. He went still underneath me, but I couldn’t focus my eyes enough to
see him, not really. My vision ran in streamers of colors. I collapsed forward,
and forgot. Forgot that he was still hurt. Forgot that I was wearing the
queen’s ring on my right hand; the ring that had once belonged to a real
fertility goddess. I had a second to realize that the skin of his stomach under my
hands was no longer raw, but felt smooth and perfect. I blinked down, fighting
through pleasure’s afterglow to see him. His stomach was as flat and perfect as
his illusion once had been, but this was no illusion. He had his tentacles
back, but as a tattoo so bright and life-like that a glance made them seem
real. They were a picture, drawn upon his skin. I saw all that in three blinks of an eye, but there was no next
blink, for the ring suddenly came to life. It was like being plunged into water
with an electric current in it. It was not enough to kill, but enough to hurt. Sholto yelled under me, and not from pleasure. I tried to take the ring away from his body, but my hand seemed
glued to his newly decorated skin. The power blew out from us, as if the magic
spilled away over the bare rock. I could breathe again. Sholto gasped, “What was that?” “The ring.” He gazed down his body at me, and my hand pressed to his abdomen.
His fingers touched the tattoo, a look on his face of wonder, and of loss. It
was as if he’d been given his dearest wish, and in the same moment experienced
a loss that would haunt him forever. I heard metal rolling along rock. The sound made me turn. The
chalice was rolling toward us, though the ground was utterly flat. I looked to
the other side and found the spear of bone rolling from the other side. They
were going to touch us at the same time. “Hold on,” I said. “To what?” “To me.” He grabbed my arms, and my hand was freed from his stomach. I
grabbed his arms without thinking, putting the ring against his bare skin,
again. Sometimes Goddess pulls us by the hand down our path, and sometimes she
gets behind us and pushes off the cliff edge. We were about to be pushed. WOOD, METAL, FLESH; ALL OF IT HIT US AT ONCE.
WE WERE LEFT clinging to each other in the center of a blast of power
that splashed the lake up over the island. We drowned for a moment, then the
world literally moved. It felt as if the island bucked up and dropped down
again. The water cleared, the earth stopped moving, and the chalice and
spear were gone. We were left wet and gasping, huddled naked together. I was
afraid to let go, as if our arms around each other—our bodies still wedded
together—were all that kept us from falling off the face of the earth. Voices came, yells, shouts. I picked out Doyle’s voice, Frost, and
Agnes’s harsh call. The voices made us both turn, blinking water out of our
eyes. On the shore, which was a lot farther away than it had been before, were
all our guards. We were back in the dead gardens of the sluagh, but the lake
was full of water now, and the Island of Bones was in the middle of it. Doyle dived into the water, his dark body cutting the surface.
Frost followed him. The other guards did the same. Sholto’s uncles discarded
their cloaks and hit the water after my guards. Only Black Agnes stayed on the
shore. I looked down at Sholto; I was still on top of him. “We’re about to
be rescued.” He smiled up at me. “Do we need rescuing?” “I’m not sure,” I said. He laughed then, and the sound echoed against the bare stone of the
cavern. He hugged me tight, and laid a gentle kiss on my cheek. He breathed his
words against my skin: “Thank you, Meredith.” I pressed my cheek against his and whispered back, “You are most
welcome, Sholto.” He buried his hand in my wet hair and said, softly, “I have long
desired you to whisper my name like that.” “Like what?” I asked, face still pressed against his. “Like a lover.” I heard movement behind us, and Sholto released his hold on my
hair. I kissed him on the lips, before I lifted my body to see who had made the
island first. Doyle—of course it was Doyle—walked toward us. He gleamed black and
shining, water dripping down his nakedness. The light caught blue and purple
gleams from his skin as he moved toward us. The light seemed to dazzle on his
skin and on the water—reflected brilliance. My skin was warm in the light.
Sunlight, it was sunlight again. Like noonday come to this shadowy place. There was a green haze to the bare rock where Sholto and I lay.
That haze took the shape of tiny stems, reaching out over the rock, anchoring
themselves as Doyle came to stand beside us. His face struggled for an expression, and finally settled on that
stern face, the one that had frightened me as a child when he stood at my
aunt’s side. Somehow the expression wasn’t nearly as frightening with him naked,
and given my now so intimate knowledge of him. The Queen’s Darkness was my
lover, and I could never again see him as that threatening figure, simply the
queen’s assassin, her black dog to fetch and kill. I stared up at him, still pressed tight in Sholto’s arms. I sat up,
and his arms fell away from me, reluctantly. Since I was still riding his body,
it wasn’t as if he stopped touching me. His hands slid down my arms, staying in
contact. I glanced at Sholto’s face and found him looking not at me, but at
Doyle. Sholto’s face was defiant, almost triumphant. I didn’t understand
the look. I glanced at Doyle, and saw behind that stern face a flash of anger.
For the first time in weeks I remembered how they had both found me in Los Angeles. They had fought, both convinced that the queen had sent each of them to kill
me. But there had been something personal about that fight. I couldn’t
remember what they had said to each other that made me think they had some kind
of bad history, but I had felt it. The looks they gave each other now confirmed
that I was missing something. Some disagreement, or challenge, or even grudge
between these two men. Not good. Rhys came up the slope of the rock, dripping like wet ivory. He
stopped short of us all, as if he also sensed, or saw, the tension. What do you do when you’re naked with one lover, and another lover
is standing there? Sholto was not my king, or husband. I took my hand from him
and offered it to Doyle. Doyle hesitated a moment, his gaze on his rival and
not on me. Then those black eyes moved to me. His expression never truly
changed, but some breath of harshness left him. Or perhaps some touch of
gentleness returned to him. There was movement behind him, and Frost and Mistral struggled up
the slope. They were dressed, and weapons bulged everywhere. Frost actually
caught Mistral’s arm as the other man slipped. The clothes and weapons had
slowed them down. Now they stood there, Frost’s hand on Mistral’s arm. Mistral was
almost on his knees, from his slip, but they had frozen, staring at us. They
hadn’t just caught a whiff of tension. Their reaction said clearly that there
was bad blood between Sholto and Doyle. Doyle took my hand in his. The moment he touched me the tightness
in my chest, which I hadn’t even known was there, loosened. He lifted me upward, off the other man. Sholto’s hands, all of his
body, let me go with such reluctance. The sensation of him drawing out of deep
within my body shivered through me. Only Doyle’s grip kept my knees from
buckling. Sholto raised his arms to help catch me, his hands on my thighs.
Doyle pulled me in against his body, half lifting me over Sholto’s body. Sholto
let me go; otherwise it would have been like a tug-of-war, not seemly behavior
for a king. I stood there wrapped in Doyle’s arms, staring up at his face,
trying to decipher what he was thinking. Around me the tiny plants unfurled
tiny leaves, and the world suddenly smelled of thyme, that sweet, green herb
scent that Sholto had said he sensed when I was smelling roses. The delicate herbs tickled along my foot, as if reminding me that
there were some things more important than love. Staring up into Doyle’s face,
I wasn’t sure that was right. In that moment I wanted him happy. I wanted him
to know that I wanted him happy. I wanted to explain that Sholto had been
lovely, and the power had been immense, but that in the end, he meant nothing
to me, not when I had Doyle’s arms around me. But you can’t say that out loud, not with the other man lying
behind you. So many hearts to juggle, including my own. The herbs touched me again, wound around my ankle. I glanced down
at the greenery, and thought of my favorite thymes. My gran had grown them in
the herb garden behind the house where my father raised me—so many varieties.
Lemon thyme, silver thyme, golden thyme. At that thought, the plants around my
ankle were suddenly tinged with yellow. Some of the leaves on some of the
plants turned silver, others became pale yellow, and some that bright sunny
yellow. There was a scent of faint lemon on the air, as if I had crushed one of
the pale yellow leaves between my fingertips. “What did you do?” Doyle whispered, his deep voice thrumming along
my spine so that I shivered against him. My voice was soft, as if I didn’t want to say it too loudly: “I just
thought that there is more than one kind of thyme.” “And the plants changed,” he said. I nodded, staring at them. “I didn’t say it out loud, Doyle. I only
thought it.” He hugged me. “I know.” Mistral and Frost were with Rhys now. They did not approach us, and
again I wasn’t sure why. They waited, as if they needed permission to come
closer—the way they would have waited to approach Queen Andais. I thought it was me they waited on, but I should have known better.
Sholto said behind me, “The sidhe do not usually stand on ceremony, but if you
need permission, then I give it. Come closer.” Mistral said, “If you could see yourself, King Sholto, you would
not ask why we stand on ceremony.” The comment made me look back at Sholto. He was sitting up, but
where he had been lying was an outline of herbs. Peppermint, basil—as I
recognized them, I smelled their perfumes. But the herbs spreading out from
where he had lain, where we had lain, wasn’t what made the men stop. Sholto was
wearing a crown; a crown of herbs. Even as we watched, the delicate plants wove
like living fingers through his hair, creating a wreath of thyme and mint. Only
the most delicate of the plants, entwining themselves as we watched. He raised a hand, and the moving plants touched his fingers as they
had touched my ankle. I was wearing an anklet of living thyme, gold-flecked
leaves, smelling of green life and lemons. The tendril wrapped around his
fingers like a happy pet. He lowered his hand and stared at it. The plant wove
itself into a ring as we watched—a ring that bloomed on his hand, the delicate
spray of white blossoms more precious than any jewel. Then his crown burst into
bloom, shades of white, blue, lavender. Finally, the blooms spread across the
island, so that the ground was nearly solid with tiny, airy flowers, moving not
in a breeze—for there was none—but nodding as if the flowers were speaking to
one another. “A crown of flowers is not a crown for the king of the sluagh!”
Agnes shouted, harsh, from the shore. She was on hands and knees, hidden
completely under her black cloak. I saw the flash of her eyes, as if there was
a glow to them; then she lowered her head, hiding from the light. She was a
night-hag. They didn’t travel at noon. Ivar spoke, but I couldn’t see him. “Sholto, King, we cannot
approach you in this burning light.” His uncles were half-goblin—which, depending on the type of goblin,
might make sunlight a problem. But they were also half-night-flyer, and that
definitely made sunlight a problem. “I would that you could come to me, Uncles,” Sholto said. Doyle’s arms tightened around me, a warning. “Be careful what you
say, Sholto; you do not understand the power of the words of someone whom
faerie itself has crowned.” “I do not need advice from you, Darkness,” Sholto said, and again
there was bitterness in his voice. The sunlight faded, and a soft twilight began to fall. There was
the sound of splashing, then Ivar and Fyfe came up upon the island. They were
nude except for enough clothing to hold their weapons. They fell to one knee
before him, heads bowed. “King Sholto,” Ivar said, “we thank you for sending
the light away.” Sholto said, “I didn’t…” “You are crowned by faerie,” Doyle said again. “Your words, perhaps
even your thoughts, will shape what will happen this night.” I said, “I thought—only thought—that there is more than one variety
of thyme, and it changed the herbs. What I thought about became real, Sholto.” Agnes called from the shore, “You have freed us from the light,
King Sholto. You have given us back the Lost Lake and the Island of Bones. Will you stop there, or will you give us back our power? Will you remake the sluagh
while the magic of creation still burns through you, or will you hesitate and
lose this chance to bring us back into ourselves?” “The hag is right, Your Highness,” Fyfe said. “You have brought us
back the magic of making, wild magic, creation magic. Will you use it for us?” In the dying light I watched Sholto lick his lips. “What would you
have of me?” he asked carefully. I heard in his voice what was beginning to be
in my mind, a touch of fear. You could police your words, but policing your own
thoughts—that was harder, so much harder. “Call the wild magic,” Ivar said. “It is here already,” Doyle said, “can you not feel it?” His heart
sped under my cheek. I wasn’t sure I understood exactly what was happening, but
Doyle seemed both frightened and excited. Even his body was beginning to react,
pressed against the front of mine. The two kneeling figures looked at Doyle. “Do not look to
Darkness,” Sholto said. “I am king here.” They looked back at him, and bowed again. “You are our king,” said
Ivar. “But there are places we cannot follow you. If the wild magic is real
again, then you have two choices, king of ours: You can remake us into a thing
of flowered crowns and noonday suns, or you can call the old magic, and remake
us into what we once were.” “Darkness is right,” Fyfe said. “I can feel it like a growing
weight inside me. You can change us into what she wants us to be”—he pointed at
me—“or you can give us back what we have lost.” Sholto then asked something that made me think even better of him
than I already did. “What would you have of me, Uncles, what would you have me
do?” They glanced first at him, then at each other, then carefully down
at the ground again. “We want to be what we once were. We want to hunt as we
once did. Give us back what has been lost, Sholto.” Ivar held out his hand
toward his king. “Do not remake us in the sidhe bitch’s image,” Agnes yelled from
the shore. It was a mistake. Sholto yelled back at her, “I am king here. I rule here. I thought
you loved me once. But I know now that you only raised me to take the throne
because you wished to sit upon it. You cannot rule, but you thought you could
rule through me. You and your sisters thought to make me your puppet.” He stood
and screamed at her. “I am no one’s puppet. I am King Sholto of the Sluagh, I
am the Lord of That Which Passes Between, Lord of Shadows. Long have I been
lonely among my own people. Long have I wanted some to look as I do.” He
slammed a hand into his chest. It made a thick, meaty sound. “Now you tell me I
have the power to do just that. You have envied the sidhe their smooth skin,
their beauty that turns my head. So have what you envy.” A wail came from Agnes, but it was too dark to see what was
happening on the shore. She screamed, a horrible sound—a sound of loss, and
pain, as if whatever was happening to her hurt. I heard Sholto say, softly, “Agnes.” The sound in that one word let
me know that he wasn’t so terribly certain of what he wanted, or what he had
done. What had he done? His uncles abased themselves, faces pressed to the herbs. “Please,
King Sholto, we beg you, do not remake us into sidhe. Do not make us only
lesser versions of the Unseelie. We are sluagh, and that is a proud thing.
Would you strip us of all that we have kept over the years?” “No,” Sholto said, and there was no anger in his voice now. The
screams from the shore had taken away his anger. He understood now how
dangerous he was in this moment. “I want the sluagh to be powerful again. I
want us to be a force to be reckoned with, negotiated with. I want us to be a
fearsome thing.” I spoke before I could think: “Not just fearsome, surely.” “I want us to have a terrible beauty then,” he said, and it was as
if the world held its breath, as if the whole of faerie had been waiting for
him to say those words. I felt it in the pit of my stomach like the chime of a
great bell. It was a beautiful sound, but so large, so heavy, that it could
crush you with the music of its voice. “What have you done?” Doyle asked, and I wasn’t sure whom he had
asked it of. Sholto answered him. “What I had to do.” He stood there, stark and
pale in the growing dark. The tattoo of his tentacles glowed as if outlined with
phosphorus. The flowers of his crown looked ghostly pale, and I thought they
would have attracted honeybees, if it had not been dark. Bees are not nighttime
creatures. The darkness began to lighten. “What did you just think of?” Doyle
asked. “That if the sunlight had remained, there would have been bees to
feed on the flowers.” “No, it will be night here,” Sholto said, and the darkness began to
thicken again. I tried for a more neutral thought. What could come to his flowers
in the dark? Moths appeared among the flowers, small ones, ones to match the
moth on my stomach. Small flashes of light showed above the island, as if
jewels had been thrown into the air. Fireflies, dozens of them, so that they
actually glowed enough to drive back some of the dark. “Did you call them?” Sholto said. “Yes,” I said. “You raised the wild magic together,” Ivar said. “She is not sluagh,” Fyfe said. “But she is queen to his king for tonight; the magic is hers, as
well,” Ivar said. “Will you fight me for the heart of my people, Meredith?” Sholto
said. “I will try not to,” I said softly. “I rule here, Meredith, not you.” “I do not want to take your throne, Sholto. But I can’t help being
what I am.” “What are you?” “I am sidhe.” “Then if you are sidhe and not sluagh, run.” “What?” I asked, trying to move a little away from Doyle and closer
to Sholto. Doyle held me tight and wouldn’t let me do it. “Run,” Sholto said again. “Why?” I asked. “I am going to call the wild hunt, Meredith. If you are not sluagh,
then you will be prey.” “No, Sholto! Let us take the princess to safety first, I beg this
of you,” Doyle said urgently. “The Darkness does not usually beg. I am flattered, but if she can
call back the sun to drive away the night, I must call the hunt now. She must
be the prey. You know that.” I was startled. Was this the same man who had refused to sacrifice
me just moments ago? Who had looked on me with such tenderness? The magic was
indeed working powerfully in him, to make this change. Rhys’s voice came, cautious: “You wear a crown of flowers, King
Sholto. Are you so certain that the wild hunt will recognize you as sluagh?” “I am their king.” “You look sidhe enough to be welcome in the queen’s bed right now,”
Rhys said. Sholto touched his flat stomach with its healed flesh and tattoo.
He hesitated, then shook his head. “I will call the wild magic. I will call the
hunt. If they see me as prey and not as sluagh, then so be it.” He smiled, and
even in the uncertain light it didn’t look particularly happy. He laughed, and
the night echoed with it. There was the call of some sweet-voiced bird, sleepy
from the distant shore. Sholto spoke again. “It is a long tradition among us, Lord Rhys, to
slay our kings to bring back life to the land. If by my life, or my death, I
can bring my people back to their power, I will do it.” “Sholto,” I said, “don’t. Don’t say that.” “It is done,” he said. Doyle started moving us toward the other side of the island. “Short
of killing him, we cannot stop him,” he told me. “You both reek of the oldest
of magicks. I am not certain that he can be killed right now.” “We need to leave then,” Rhys said. Abeloec was finally pulling himself up on the shore. He still had
his cup in his hand, and it seemed as if the weight of it had kept him from
coming sooner. “Don’t tell me I have to get back in the lake,” he said. “If
she’s touched with the magic of creation, let her create a bridge.” I didn’t wait. I said, “I want a bridge to the shore.” A graceful
white bridge appeared, just like that. “Cool,” Rhys said. “Let’s go.” Sholto spoke in a ringing voice. “I call the wild hunt, by Herne
and huntsman, by horn and hound, by wind and storm, and wreck of winter, I call
us home.” The dark near the roof of the cavern split open as if someone had
cut it with a knife. It split open and things boiled out of it. Doyle turned my face away and said, “Do not look back.” He began to
run, dragging me with him. We all began to run. Only Sholto and his uncles
stayed on the island as the night itself ripped open and poured nightmares
behind us. WE MADE THE FAR SHORE, BUT I TRIPPED ON A
SKELETON buried in the ground. Doyle picked me up and kept running.
Gunshots echoed, and I saw Frost firing at Agnes as she threw herself on top of
him. I had a glimpse of her face; something was wrong with it, as if her bones
were sliding around under her skin. I screamed, “Frost,” as a glint of metal
showed in her hand. More shots sounded. Mistral was beside Frost, blades
flashing. “Doyle, stop!” I shouted. He ignored me, and kept running with me in his arms. Abe and Rhys
were with him. “We can’t leave Frost behind!” I said. Doyle said, “We cannot risk you, not for anyone.” “Call a door,” Abe said. Doyle glanced behind us, but not at Mistral and Frost’s fight with
the night-hag. He glanced higher than that. It made me look up, too. At first my eyes perceived clouds, black and grey rolling clouds,
or smoke—but that was only my mind trying to make sense of it. I thought I had
seen all the sluagh had to offer, but I was wrong. What was pouring down toward
the island where Sholto stood was nothing my mind could accept. When I worked
for the investigative agency…sometimes at a crime scene—if it’s bad
enough—sometimes your mind refuses to make an image out of it. It’s just a
jumble. Your mind gives you a moment to not see this horrible thing. If you
have the chance to close your eyes and not look a second time, you can save
yourself. This horror will not go into your mind and stain your soul. At most
crime scenes I didn’t have the choice of not seeing. But this; I looked away.
If we didn’t get away, then I’d have to look. We had to get away. Doyle yelled, “Don’t look. Call the door.” I did what he asked. “I need a door to the Unseelie sithen.” The
door appeared, hanging in the middle of nowhere, just like before. “No doors,” Sholto screamed behind us. The door vanished. Rhys cursed. Frost and Mistral were with us now. There was blood on their
swords. I glanced back at the shore, and saw Agnes—a dark, still shape on the
ground. Doyle started running again, and the others joined us. “Call
something else,” Abe said, near breathless trying to keep up with Doyle’s pace.
“And do it quietly, so Sholto can’t hear what you’re doing.” “What?” I asked. “You have the power of creation,” he panted. “Use it.” “How?” My brain wasn’t working under the pressure. “Conjure something,” he said, and stumbled, falling. He rejoined
us, blood pouring down his chest from a new cut. “Let the ground be grass and gentle to our feet.” Grass flowed at
our feet like green water. It didn’t spread over everything like the herbs on
the island. The grass sprang up in a path where we ran, and nowhere else. “Try something else,” Rhys said from the other side of us. He was
shorter than the rest, and his voice showed the strain of keeping up with the longer
legs of the others. What could I call from the ground, from the grass, that could save
us? I thought it and had my answer; one of the most magical of plants. “Give me
a field of four-leaf clover.” The grass spread out before us wide and smooth,
then white clover began to grow through the grass, until we stood in the center
of a field of it. White globes of sweet-smelling flowers burst like stars
across all the green. Doyle slowed, and the others slowed with him. Rhys said it out
loud: “Not bad, not bad at all. You think well in a crisis.” “The wild hunt is of ill intent,” Frost said. “They should be
stopped at the field’s edge.” Doyle sat me down amid the ankle-high clover. The plants brushed
against me as if they were little hands. “Four-leaf clover is the most powerful
plant protection from faerie,” I said. “Aye,” Abe said, “but some of what is coming does not have to walk,
Princess.” “Make us a roof, Meredith,” Doyle said. “A roof of what?” “Rowan, thorn, and ash,” Frost said. “Of course,” I said. Anywhere that the three trees grew together
was a magical place—a place both of protection and of a weakening in the
reality between worlds. Such a place would save you from faerie, or call faerie
to you—like so many things with us, there was never a yes, or no, but a yes, a
no, and a sometimes. The earth underneath us trembled as if an earthquake were coming;
then the trees blasted out of the ground, showering rock and dirt and clover
over us. The trees stretched to the sky with a sound like a storm or a train,
barreling down, but with a scream of wood to it. It was like nothing I’d ever
heard before. While the trees knit themselves together above our heads, I
looked back. I could not help it. Sholto was covered in the nightmares he had called. Tentacles writhed;
bits and pieces that I had no word for flowed and struck. There were teeth
everywhere, as if wind could be made solid and given fangs to tear and destroy.
Sholto’s uncles attacked the creatures with blade and muscle, but they were
losing. Losing, but fighting hard enough that they had given us time to make
our sanctuary. Frost moved to stand so that his broad chest blocked my view. “It
is not good to gaze too long upon them.” There was a bloody furrow down one
side of his face, as if Agnes had tried to claw his eyes out. I made as if to
touch the wound, and he pulled away, catching my hand in his. “I will heal.” He didn’t want me to fuss over him in front of Mistral. If it had
just been Doyle and Rhys, he might have allowed it. But he would not have Mistral
see him weak. I wasn’t sure how he felt about Abe, but I knew he viewed Mistral
as a threat. Men don’t like to look weak in front of their rivals. Whatever I
thought of Mistral, that was how Frost and Doyle saw him. I took Frost’s hand and tried not to act concerned about his
wounds. “He called the hunt. Why are they attacking him?” I asked. “I warned him that he looked too sidhe,” Rhys said. “I wasn’t
saying that just to stop him from doing something dangerous to us.” Something warm dripped over my hand. I looked down to find Frost’s
blood painting my skin. I fought the spurt of panic and asked calmly, “How
badly are you hurt?” The blood was coming steadily—not good. “I will heal,” Frost said, voice tight. The trees closed overhead with a sound like the ocean waves rushing
along a shore. Leaves tore and rained down on us as the branches wove a shield
of leaves, thorns, and bright red berries above. The shadow it cast made
Frost’s skin look grey for a moment, and it frightened me. “You heal gunshot wounds if the bullet goes through and through.
You heal nonmagical blades. But Black Agnes was a night-hag and once a goddess.
Is your wound of blade, or claw?” Frost tried to take his hand back, but I wouldn’t let him. Unless
he wanted to be appear undignified, he couldn’t break free. Our hands were
covered in his blood, sticky and warm. Doyle was at Frost’s side. “How badly are you hurt?” “We do not have time to tend my wounds,” Frost said. He wouldn’t
look at Doyle, or any of us. He arranged his face in that arrogant mask, the
one that made him impossibly handsome, and as cold as his namesake. But the
terrible wounds on the right side of that face ruined the mask. It was like a
chink in armor; he could not hide behind it. “Nor do we have time to lose my strong right arm,” Doyle said, “not
if there is time to save it.” Frost looked at him, surprise showing through the mask. I wondered
if Doyle had never, in all these long years, called Frost the strong right arm
of the Darkness. The look on his face suggested so. And maybe it was as close
as Doyle would come to apologizing for abandoning him to the fight with Agnes
in order to save me. Had Frost thought Doyle left him behind on purpose? A world of emotion seemed to pass between the two men. If they’d
been human men, they might have exchanged some profanity or sports metaphor,
which is what seems to pass for terms of deepest affection between friends. But
they were who they were, and Doyle said, simply, “Remove enough weapons so we
can see the wound.” He smiled when he said it, because of all the guards Frost
would be the one carrying the most weapons, with Mistral a distant second. “Whatever you’re going to do, do it fast,” Rhys said. We all looked at him, and then beyond him. The air boiled black,
grey, white, and horrible. The hunt was coming toward us like a ribbon of
nightmares. It took my eyes a moment to find Sholto on the island. He was a
small, pale figure running—running full out—with that sidhe swiftness. But fast
as he was, he wouldn’t be fast enough—what chased him moved with the swiftness
of birds, of wind, of water. It was like trying to outrun the wind; you just
couldn’t do it. Doyle turned back to Frost. “Take off your jacket. I’ll make a
compress. We’re not going to have time for more.” I glanced back toward the island. Sholto’s guards, his uncles,
tried to buy him time. They offered themselves as a sacrifice to slow the hunt.
It worked, for a while. Some of that fearful boil of shapes slowed and covered
them. I think I heard one of them scream over the high bird-like chittering of
the creatures. But most of the wild hunt stayed on target. That target was
Sholto. He crossed the bridge and kept running. “Goddess help us,” Rhys
said, “he’s coming here.” “He finally understands what he’s called into being,” Mistral said.
“He runs in terror now. He runs to the only sanctuary he can see.” “We stand in the middle of four-leaf clovers, rowan, ash, and
thorn. The wild hunt cannot touch us here,” I said, but my voice was soft, and
didn’t hold the certainty I wished it had. Doyle had ripped Frost’s shirt away and torn Frost’s own jacket
into pieces small enough to be used as compresses. “How bad is it?” I asked. Doyle shook his head, pressing the cloth in an area that seemed to
run under Frost’s arm and into his shoulder. “Get us out of here, Meredith. I
will tend Frost. But only you can get us out.” “The wild hunt will pass us by,” I said. “We stand in the middle of
things that they cannot pass through.” “If we were not its prey, then I would agree,” Doyle said. He was
trying to get Frost to lie down on the clover, but the other man was arguing.
Doyle pressed harder on the wound, which made Frost draw a sharp breath. He
continued, “But Sholto told us to run, if we were sidhe. He has conjured it to
hunt us.” I started to turn away, but couldn’t quite tear my eyes from Frost.
Once he had been the Killing Frost: cold, frightening, arrogant, untouched, and
untouchable. Now he was Frost, and he wasn’t frightening, or cold, and I knew
the touch of his body in almost every possible way. I wanted to go to him, to
hold his hand while Doyle tended his wound. “Merry,” Doyle said, “if you do not get us out of here, Frost will
not be the only one hurt.” I caught Frost’s gaze. Pain, I saw there, but also something
hopeful, or good. I think he liked that I was so worried about him. “Get us
out, Merry,” Frost said between gritted teeth. “I am fine.” I didn’t call him a liar, but I did turn away so I couldn’t watch.
It would have distracted me too much, and I didn’t have time to be weak. “I need a door to the Unseelie Court.” I said it clearly, but
nothing happened. “Try again,” Rhys said. I tried again, and again nothing happened. “Sholto said No doors,” Mistral said. “Apparently his word
stands.” Sholto’s feet had touched the edge of the field I’d made. He was
only yards away from the first of the clover. The air above him was thick with
tentacles and mouths and claws. I looked away from it, because I couldn’t think
while I was staring into it. “Call something else,” Abe said. “What?” I asked. It was Rhys who said, “Where rowan, ash, and thorn grow close
together, the veil between worlds is thinner.” I looked up at the circle of trees that I’d called into being.
Their branches had formed a lace of roof above us. They still hushed and moved
above us the way the roses in the Unseelie Court moved, as if they had more
life than an ordinary tree. I began to walk the inside of the circle of trees, searching not
with my hands, but with that part of me that sensed magic. Most human psychics
have to do something to get themselves in the mood for magic, but I had to
shield constantly not to be overwhelmed by it. Especially in faerie—there was
so much of it that it became like the engine noise of some great ship, and you
ceased to “hear” it after a while, though it was always there thrumming along
your skin, making your bones vibrate to its rhythm. I reached out from behind those shields and searched for a place in
the trees that felt…thin. I couldn’t look simply for magic; there was too much
of it around me. Too much power flowing toward us. I needed to cast out for
something more specific. “The clover has slowed them,” Mistral called. This made me glance back, away from the trees. The cloud of
nightmares rolled above the clover like a pack of hounds that had lost the
scent. Sholto just kept running, his hair flying behind him, the nude
beauty of him beautiful in motion, like watching a horse run across a field. It
was a beauty that transcended sex; simply beautiful for its own sake. “Concentrate, Merry,” Rhys said. “I’ll help you look for a door.” I nodded and went back to looking only at the trees. They thrummed
with power, inherently magical and invested with further power because they had
been called into being by one of the oldest magicks. Rhys called from across the clearing. “Here!” I ran to him, the clover tapping at my legs and feet as if patting
me with soft green hands. I passed Frost on the ground, where Doyle sat holding
his wound. Frost was hurt, very hurt, but there was no time to help—Doyle would
take care of him. I had to take care of us all. Rhys was standing by a group of three of the trees that looked no
different from the others, really. But when I put my hand out toward them, it
was as if reality had been rubbed thin here, like a good-luck penny rubbed in
your pocket. “You feel it?” Rhys asked. I nodded. “How do we open it?” “You just walk through,” Rhys said. He looked back at the others.
“Everybody gather around. We need to walk through together.” “Why?” I asked. He grinned at me. “Because naturally occurring doorways like this
don’t lead to the same place every time. It’d be bad if we were separated.” “Bad’s one way of putting it,” I said. Doyle had to help Frost to his feet. Even so, he stumbled. Abe came
and offered his shoulder to lean on, still grasping the horn cup in one hand,
as if it was the most important thing in the world. It occurred to me then that
the Goddess’s chalice had gone back to wherever it went when it wasn’t mucking
about with me. I had never held on to it the way Abe did with his, but then, I
had been afraid of its power. Abe wasn’t afraid of his cup’s power; he was
afraid of losing it again. Mistral was backing toward us. “Are we waiting for the Lord of
Shadows or leaving him to his fate?” It took me a second to realize he meant Sholto. I looked toward the
lake. Sholto was almost here, almost to the tree line. The sky behind him was
totally black, as if the father of all storms was about to break, except that
instead of lightning there were tentacles, and mouths that shrieked. “He can escape the same way,” Rhys said. “The door won’t close
behind us.” I looked at him. “Don’t we want it to?” “I don’t know if we can close it, but if we can, Merry, he would be
trapped.” There was a very serious look in his one eye—a measuring look. It was
the look that I was beginning to dread from all the men. A look that said: The
decision is yours. Could I leave Sholto to die? He had called the wild hunt. He’d
offered himself as prey. He’d trapped us here with his no doors. Did I
owe him? I looked at what chased him. “I couldn’t leave anyone to that.” “So be it,” Doyle said from beside me. “But we can go through ahead of him,” Mistral said. “We don’t have
to wait.” “You’re sure he’ll sense the door?” I asked. Everyone answered at once. Mistral said, “Yes.” Rhys said,
“Probably.” Doyle and Frost said, “I do not know.” Abe just shrugged. I shook my head and whispered, “Goddess guide me, but I can’t leave
him. I can still taste his skin on my mouth.” I stepped in front of the men, closer
to the farther edge of the trees. I yelled, “Sholto, we’re leaving, hurry,
hurry!” He stumbled, fell in the clover, and rolled to his feet again in a
blur of motion. He dived through the trees, and I thought he’d made it, but
something long and white whipped around his ankle just before it cleared the
magical circle. It caught him in that instant when his body was airborne, not
touching the clover, not inside the trees. The tentacle tried to lift him
skyward, but his hands reached desperately for the trees. He caught a limb with
his hands, and he was left suspended, feet above the ground. I was running forward before I had time to think. I don’t know what
I planned to do when I got there, but I didn’t have to worry, because a blur of
movement rushed past me. Mistral and Doyle were there before me. Doyle had Frost’s sword in his hands. He leapt into the air in an
impossibly graceful arc, and cut the tentacle in two. I smelled ozone a second
before lightning crashed from Mistral’s hand. The lightning hit the cloud and
seemed to bounce from one creature to another, illuminating them. It was too
much light. I screamed and covered my eyes, but it was as if the images were
carved inside my lids. Strong hands were on mine, pulling my hands away from my eyes. I kept
my eyes tight shut, and Doyle’s deep voice came. “Clawing your eyes out won’t
help, Meredith. It’s inside you now. You can’t unsee it.” I opened my mouth and screamed. I screamed and screamed and
screamed. Doyle picked me up in his arms and started running toward the others.
I knew Mistral and Sholto were behind us. Whimpers replaced my screams—I have
no words for what I’d seen. They were things that should not have been. Things
that could not have been alive, but they had moved. I had seen them. If I had been alone, I would have fallen to the ground and shrieked
until the wild hunt caught me. Instead I clung to Doyle and buried my nose and
mouth against the curve of his neck, keeping my eyes fixed on the clover, and
the trees, and my men. I wanted to replace the images that were burned inside
me—it was as if I had to clean my eyes of the sight of the hunt. I breathed in
the scent of Doyle’s neck, his hair, and it helped calm me. He was real, and
solid, and I was safe in his arms. Rhys moved to help Abe with Frost. Doyle still had Frost’s sword
naked and bloody in his hand, held away from me. The blood smelled the way all
blood smells: red, slightly metallic, sweet. If these creatures bled real
blood, then they couldn’t be what I had seen; they weren’t nightmares. What I
had seen in that lightning-kissed moment was nothing that would ever bleed real
blood. Doyle told Mistral to enter first, because we didn’t know where the
doorway led. The Storm Lord didn’t argue, he just did what he was told. All of
us, including Sholto, followed his broad back between the trees. One moment we
were in the clover circle; the next we were in moonlight, at the edge of a
snowbanked parking lot. THERE WAS A MARKED CAR AND SEVERAL UNMARKED
CARS SITTING there. Inside, cops and FBI stared at us, eyes wide. We had
simply appeared out of thin air; I guess it was worth a stare or two. “How are we going to explain this?” Rhys asked softly. The car doors started opening. Police of all flavors poured out
into the cold. Then there was wind at our backs…warm wind, and a sound like
birds, if birds could be too large, and too frightening for words. “Oh, God,” Rhys said, “they’re coming through.” “Mistral, Sholto, hold the door closed if you can. Give us time,”
Doyle said. Mistral and Sholto turned to face that warm, seeking wind. Doyle
ran toward the cars; I was still in his arms. The others followed, though
Frost’s wounds caused him to follow slowly behind us. The police were calling to us. “What’s wrong?” “Is the princess
hurt?” “Stay in your cars and you’ll be safe,” Doyle yelled. The closest car held two dark-suited men. One was young and dark,
the other older and balding. “Charles, FBI,” the younger one said. “You don’t
give us orders.” “If the princess is in danger, I can, by your own laws,” said
Doyle. The older one said, “Special Agent Bancroft, what’s happening?
That’s not geese I’m hearing.” A uniform that was St. Louis city, one Illinois state trooper, and
a local precinct cop joined us. Apparently, when the rest of the police went
away after we’d last dealt with them here, they’d left a little bit of
everybody behind. No one wanted to be left out, I guess. “If you all stay in your cars, you will be safe,” Doyle repeated. One of the younger uniforms said, “We’re cops. We’re not paid to be
safe.” “Spoken like someone who is not even close to his pension,” another
officer said, one with more weight around his middle. “Jesus,” one of them said. I didn’t have to glance back, for now
Frost had caught up with us. He’d bled all over Rhys, so that it looked like
Rhys was hurt worse. Abe was still bleeding from falling among the bones. One of the uniforms touched his shoulder radio and started
requesting an ambulance. Doyle yelled above the growing sound of wind and
birds, “There is no time. They will be upon us in moments.” “Who?” Bancroft asked. Doyle shook his head and moved around the agent. He laid me in the
passenger seat of the car, then opened the backseat door, saying, “Put Frost
inside, Rhys.” “I will not leave you,” Frost said. The men laid him in the seat
even as he protested. Doyle grabbed Frost’s shoulder and said, “If I die, if all of us
die, if the others are gone into the ground for good, then you must survive.
You must take her back to Los Angeles and not return.” I started to get out of the car then. “I won’t leave you.” Doyle pushed me back into the seat. He knelt down and gave me the
full weight of his dark eyes. “Meredith, Merry, we cannot win this fight.
Unless help arrives, we will all die. You have never seen this wild hunt, but I
have. We will give them sidhe to hunt, and they will ignore this car. You and
Frost will be safe.” I gripped his arms, so smooth, so muscled, so solid. “I won’t leave
you.” “Nor I,” Frost said, struggling to sit up in the backseat. “Frost,” Doyle almost yelled it, “I do not trust anyone but you and
me to keep her safe. If it is not to be me, then it must be you.” Bancroft said, “Get in and drive, Charlie.” The younger agent didn’t argue this time; he got behind the wheel.
I was still holding on to Doyle, shaking my head over and over. One of the
other cops had gotten a first-aid kit out of the car. Bancroft took it and
crawled into the back with Frost. “No,” I said to Doyle. “I am princess here, not you.” “Your duty is to live,” Doyle said. I shook my head. “If you die, I’m not sure I want to.” He kissed me then, hard and fierce. I tried to melt into that kiss,
but he tore himself away and slammed the door in my face. The doors locked. I glanced at the agent, who said, “We have to get
you to safety, Princess.” “Unlock the door,” I demanded. He ignored me and started the engine, hit the gas. Just then wind
slammed into the car, so hard that it skidded the vehicle to the side. Charlie
fought to keep the car in the parking lot and out of the trees. “Drive,” Bancroft yelled, “drive like a son of a bitch!” I looked then, because I had to. The wild hunt had broken through,
and it was like the moment in the cave—as if the darkness had split open and
was spilling out nightmares. But the nightmares were even more solid now. Or
maybe, now that I’d seen them, I couldn’t unsee them. A coat flew over my face, and I was left scrambling at it. “Don’t
look, Merry,” Frost said, his voice choked, “don’t look.” “Put on the coat, Princess,” Bancroft said. “We’ll get you to the
hospital.” I held the coat in my arms, but turned to look back. The police were shooting at the hunt. Mistral lit the sky with
lightning, and one of the police crumbled to the ground. Was he screaming? The
horror spilled over Sholto, and he was lost to it. Doyle leapt toward the
tentacles and teeth, the sword glittering in the moonlight. I screamed his
name, but the last thing I saw before we drove into the dark was Doyle lost
under a weight of nightmares. FROST’S HAND GRABBED MY SHOULDER, PRESSING ME
AGAINST the seat. “Merry, please, don’t make Doyle’s sacrifice in vain.” I touched his hand, pressed it against me, and there was more blood
on it. “How can I let them drive us to safety and not fight it?” “You must. I am too hurt to help, and you are too fragile. I would
willingly die with them, but you must not die.” Agent Charlie had us on the narrow road, driving a little too fast
for the darkness and the snow. He hit ice and skidded. “Slow down or you’re going to put us in a ditch,” Bancroft said.
“And you, Frost, right, you need to lie back and let me finish putting pressure
on this wound. You bleed to death and you can’t keep the princess safe.” “Did you see it?” Charlie said as he slowed down. “Did you see it?” “I saw it,” Bancroft said in a strained voice. He pulled on Frost.
“Let me take care of the wound like your captain ordered.” Frost let go of me, slowly, his hand pulling away. I started
drawing the trench coat over me. I didn’t know whose coat it was, but I was
cold. Cold in a way that the coat wouldn’t help, yet it was all I had. Agent Charlie slowed at a sharp turn, and I caught a glimpse of
something in the trees. It wasn’t the wild hunt, and it wasn’t our men. “Stop,” I said. He slowed further, almost stopped. “What? What is it?” I saw them in the trees: goblins. Goblins walking in single file,
cloaked for the cold, bristling with weapons in the cold light of the moon.
They were walking away from the fight, though some of them glanced back. That
was enough to tell me they knew what was happening, and they were leaving my
men to die. “Drive,” Bancroft said. “Stop,” I ordered. Agent Charlie ignored me. The car picked up speed. “Stop,” I repeated. “There are goblins out there. They can tip the
balance. They can save my men.” “We’re doing what your guard demanded,” Bancroft said. “We’re going
to a hospital.” I had to stop the car. I had to talk to the goblins—they were my
allies. They had to help, if I asked it, or be forsworn. I reached over, touched the agent’s face, and thought about sex.
I’d never done this to a human before, never used that part of my heritage for
evil. And it was evil—I didn’t know him, didn’t want him, but I made him want
me. The agent slammed on the brakes, throwing me into the dash, and
throwing the men in the back into the floorboards. Bancroft yelled, “What the
hell are you doing?” Agent Charlie threw the car into park, skewing halfway across the
road. He unbuckled his seat belt, pulled me toward him, and started trying to
kiss me, his hands everywhere. I didn’t care, as long as the car was stopped. Bancroft came over the seat. “Charlie, for God’s sake, Charlie.
Stop!” I took advantage of the fight to reach across and unlock the door
while the men fought almost on top of me. I opened the door and fell backward
into the road. Charlie tried to crawl after me. Bancroft slid over the seat and
on top of his partner. I got to my feet on the icy road, huddling under the coat. The goblins were there in the dark, just outside the headlight
beams. Two faces looked at me, two nearly identical faces: Ash and Holly. The
wind blew their yellow hair from their hoods. I couldn’t tell which twin was
which in the uncertain light—the only difference was eye color. “Hail, goblins,” I called. One of them touched the other and nodded toward the dark. They
began to turn and leave. I yelled, “I call on you as allies. To deny me is to
be forsworn. The wild hunt is abroad, and oathbreakers are sweet meat to them.” The twins turned back to us, and the goblins who were only dark
shapes behind them shifted in the dimness. “We did not make this oath,” one of
them called. “Kurag, Goblin King, did, and you are his people. Do you call your
king a liar? Are you king now among the goblins, Holly?” I had taken a chance on that. I wasn’t certain which brother it
was, but I’d guessed based on the fact that Holly had the worse attitude of the
two. He bowed his head in acknowledgment. “The princess sees well in the dark.” “She merely has good ears,” his brother said. “You complain more.” Ash started down the side of the road, ignoring my plea, and some
of the others followed. Most stayed in the shadows along the road’s edge. There
had to be nearly twenty of them. It was enough to make a difference, enough,
maybe, to save…my men. I heard a car door open behind me. Frost crawled out and fell into
the snow and ice of the road. I went to him but kept my gaze on the goblins. “This is not our fight,” Holly said. “I need your help as my allies; that makes it your fight,” I said.
“Or have the goblins lost their taste for battle?” “You do not battle the wild hunt, Princess. You run from it, you
join it, you hide from it. But you don’t fight it,” Ash said. I could see his
green eyes now. His hood framed a face as handsome as any at the Unseelie Court, golden-haired; only the pure, pupil-less green of his eyes and a bulkier
body under the cloak betrayed his mixed heritage. “Will you be forsworn?” I asked. I clung to Frost’s hand in the
snow. “No,” Ash said. But he was not happy about it. “We came out to see what the fuss was,” one of the other goblins
said, “not get ourselves killed for a bunch of sidhe.” The goblin was almost
twice as broad as any sidhe. He turned into the light a face that was covered
in hard, round bumps. “Get a good look, Princess.” He threw back his cloak so I
could see more of him. His arms were as covered as his face in bumps and
growths, marks of beauty among the goblins. But these bumps were pastel
colors—pink, lavender, mint green—not a skin tone that the goblins could boast. “That’s right, I’m half sidhe,” he said. “Just like them, but I’m
not so pretty, am I?” “By goblin standards you are the more handsome,” I said. He blinked eyes that bulged slightly from his face. “But you don’t
judge by goblin standards, do you, Princess?” “I ask as your ally for your aid. I ask as a blood-oathed ally to
your king that the goblins aid me. Call Kurag and summon more goblins.” “Why don’t you call the sidhe?” the bumpy goblin asked. Truth was, I wasn’t certain there was anyone left who would risk themselves
against the great hunt for me. Nor was I sure whether the queen would let them.
She had been so unhappy with me when last we met. “Are you saying that a goblin is a lesser warrior than a sidhe?” I
asked, avoiding the question. “No one is a greater warrior than the goblins,” he said. Ash said, “You don’t know if the sidhe will come.” I was out of time to prevaricate further. “No, I don’t,” I
admitted. “Aid me, Ash, help me, as my ally, help us.” “Beg,” Holly said, “beg for our aid.” “The goblins seek to delay,” Frost said, voice hoarse, “they seek
to delay until the fight is over. Cowards!” I gazed up at the three tall goblins, and the others waiting in the
shadows. I did the only thing I could think of. I searched Frost until I found
a gun. I pulled it free of the holster and got to my feet. Bancroft had finally handcuffed his partner to the steering wheel,
though Agent Charlie was still trying to get free and get to me. Bancroft
joined us in the snow. “What are you going to do, Princess?” “I’m going to go back and fight.” I hoped that in the face of my
determination, the goblins could do naught but join. “No,” Bancroft said, and started to reach across Frost toward me. I pointed the gun at him and clicked off the safety. “I have no
quarrel with you, Agent Bancroft.” He had gone very still. “Glad to hear it. Now give me the gun.” I started to back away from him. “I’m going back to help my men.” “She’s bluffing,” the warty goblin said. “No,” Frost said, “she’s not.” He struggled to his feet, then fell
back into the snow. “Merry!” “Bancroft, get him to the hospital.” I aimed the gun skyward and
started running back the way we’d come. I tried to think of summer’s heat.
Tried to bring the idea of warmth to my shields, but all I could feel was the
ice under my feet. If I was human enough to get frostbite, I’d lose feeling
soon. Ash and Holly came up beside me, one on either side. They loped
along while I ran my fastest. They could have outdistanced me and gotten to the
fight sooner, but they’d only obey the letter of our agreement. If I fought and
asked for help, then they had to help me, but they didn’t have to get to the
fight one second before I did. I prayed, “Goddess, help me and my allies to arrive in time to save
my people.” I felt someone pounding up behind us, but did not glance back—it
was just one of the larger goblins. Then hands, silver-grey in the moonlight. Before I knew it I was
cradled against a chest almost as wide as I was tall. Jonty, the Red Cap, was
ten feet of goblin muscle. He glanced down at me with eyes that in good light
would be as red as if he looked at the world through a spill of fresh blood.
His eyes were a match for Holly’s. It had made me wonder if the goblin half of
the twins was a Red Cap. The blood that dripped continuously from the cap on
his head shone in the light. Little drops of it were flung behind him as he
picked up speed and raced toward the fight. The Red Caps had earned their name
by dipping their caps in the blood of enemies. Once, to be warlord among them
you had to have enough magic to keep the blood dripping indefinitely. Jonty was
the only Red Cap I’d ever met who could do the trick, though he wasn’t a
warlord, because the Red Caps were no longer a kingdom unto themselves. Ash and Holly were forced to stretch to keep up with the much
bigger man; Jonty was a small giant even among them. They had been in charge of
this expedition, but goblins are a tough lot. If they let Jonty reach the fight
first—if they showed themselves weaker, slower, than him—then they might not be
in charge at the end of the night. Goblin society is survival of the fittest. I cradled the gun carefully, pointing it away from Jonty. No one
got ahead of us—no one else had the length of leg—and the others were fighting
just to keep pace. Such a big creature, but he ran with the grace and speed of
something lithe and beautiful. I asked him, “Why help me?” In his deep voice, like gravel, he said, “I swore a personal oath
to protect you. I will not be forsworn.” He leaned over me, so that a drop of
that magical blood fell upon my face. He whispered, “The Goddess and God still
speak to me.” I whispered back, “You heard my prayer.” He gave a small nod. I touched his face, and my hand came away
covered in blood, warm blood. I cuddled closer into the warmth of him. He
raised his eyes again, and ran faster. THE SKY BOILED WITH STORM CLOUDS OVER THE
SMALL WOODS that bordered the parking lot. The wild hunt wasn’t a
tentacled nightmare anymore. It looked like a storm, if storms could hover against
the tops of trees and drape like black silk dripping between the trunks. Lightning flashed from the ground into the clouds—Mistral was still
alive and fighting back. Who else? Green flame flickered through the trees, and
something hard and tight in my chest eased—that flame was Doyle’s hand of
power. He was alive as well. In that moment nothing else really mattered to me.
Not crown, not kingdom, not faerie itself; nothing mattered except that Doyle
was alive and not so hurt he could not fight. Ash and Holly put on a burst of speed so that they were ahead of
Jonty and me as we neared the open area closest the trees. There wasn’t enough
cover to hide anything in the open field, until from thin shadows, goblins
appeared. They didn’t materialize, but emerged like a sniper hidden in his
gillie suit in the field—except that the only camouflage the goblins had was
their own skin and clothes. Ash had called Kurag, Goblin King, as we ran to this place. To do
so, he had bared his sword and put a hand on my shoulder to come away with
blood to smear upon the blade. Blood and blade: old magic that worked long
before cell phones were a dream in a human’s mind. Personally I wouldn’t have
wanted to run on the icy road with a bared blade. But Ash wasn’t human, and he
made it all look easy. Ash and his brother ran ahead of Jonty—whoever got to the
rendezvous first would lead the goblins without argument. But I didn’t care—as
long as we saved my men, I didn’t care who led. I would have followed anyone in
that moment to save them. One of the brothers fell to talking with the waiting force. It
wasn’t until the other brother got close enough for his eyes to flash crimson
that I knew it was Holly come back to Jonty and me. Holly was struggling to
breathe normally. Outrunning someone whose legs were almost as tall as he was
took more effort than was pretty, even for a warrior as formidable as he. His
voice held only a hint of the breathlessness that made his shoulders and chest
rise and fall so rapidly. “The archers will be ready in moments. We need the
princess.” “I am not much of an archer,” I said, still cradled in the heat of
Jonty’s body, and the blood. The blood that flowed from his cap down to my body
was warm. Warm as if it spilled from a freshly opened wound. Holly gave me a look that appeared irritated even in the forgiving
glow of moonlight. “You carry the hand of blood,” he said. He let that anger
that was always just below the surface for him fall into his voice. I nearly asked what that had to do with archers. But the moment
before I said it, I did know. “Oh,” I said. “Unless Kitto exaggerated what you did in Los Angeles to the
Nameless,” Holly added. I shook my head, the warm blood creeping down my neck between my
skin and the borrowed trench coat. The blood should have been disturbing, but
it wasn’t—it felt like a warm blanket on a cold night: comforting. “No, Kitto
didn’t exaggerate,” I said. I didn’t like that Kitto had borne tales to the
goblins, but forced myself to accept that he was half theirs and still had to answer
to their king. He’d probably had little choice in what he told them. “The full hand of blood,” Holly said, and his voice wasn’t so much
angry as skeptical. “Hard to believe it lies in such a fragile creature.” “Look at my cap, if you doubt her power,” Jonty rumbled. Holly gazed upward, but his eyes didn’t stay on the cap long. His
gaze slid down to me, and something in that look was both sexual and predatory.
I could feel the blood plastering the back of my hair, my shoulders, arms; I
must have looked like an accident victim. Most men would have found it
frightening, but Holly looked at me as if I’d covered myself with perfume and
lingerie. One man’s nightmare, another’s fantasy. He reached a hand up, tentatively, as if he thought either Jonty or
I would protest. When we didn’t, he touched my shoulder. I think he meant to
merely get a touch of blood on his fingers, but the moment his fingers brushed
me, a look of wonder came over his face. He leaned in toward me, the wonder
being eaten by something that was part desire, and part violence. “What have
you been doing, Princess, to feel like this?” “I don’t know what you’re feeling, so I don’t know how to answer.”
My voice was small. Of all the men I’d agreed to have sex with, Holly and his
brother were the ones who gave me the most pause. Jonty’s arms tightened around me, almost possessively. That was
both good and bad. If all of Jonty was in proportion, then I could not satisfy
him and live to tell the tale. But it was hard to tell with the Red Cap; his
possessiveness might have had nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with
the blood magic. Holly drew his hand from my shoulder. He began to lick the blood
from his hand like a cat that has dipped its paw in your glass of milk. His
eyes fluttered closed as he licked. “She calls your blood,” he said, in a low
voice better suited for a bedroom than a battlefield. “Yes,” Jonty said, and that one word from him had the same overly
intimate tone. I was missing something, but did not want to admit that I didn’t know
what was happening, or why they were so fascinated with the fact that touching
me made the Red Cap bleed more. At a loss, I changed the subject. “If you want
me to call blood from our enemies, we need to get closer to the archers.” I
fought to keep my voice matter-of-fact, as if I knew exactly what was happening
and either didn’t care or took it completely in stride. “And who will hold you while you call blood, so those dainty feet
do not touch the cold ground?” Holly said. “I will stand on my own.” “I will hold you,” Jonty said. “You are a goblin, Jonty. Goblins fight among themselves as sport,
which means it is likely there is at least a nick somewhere on your body. If
you have a wound, even a small one, when I call blood, I will bleed you, too.” “I am no Red Cap to brawl for the sake of brawling. I save my flesh
for other things,” Holly said. He licked the last of the blood from his hand in
a long smooth movement that should have been sensual, but managed to be mostly
just unnerving. “I will stand on my own,” I repeated. “Your brother waves to get our attention,” Jonty said then to
Holly, and moved forward. Holly hesitated, as if he would block our way, but then moved
aside, speaking as Jonty passed him. “I will see you survive this night,
Princess, for I mean to have you.” “I remember our bargain, Holly,” I called back. The smaller goblin hurried to keep up with Jonty’s longer strides.
It was like a child running after an adult, though Holly wouldn’t have thanked
me for the comparison. “I hear reluctance in your voice, Princess, and the sex
will be all the sweeter for it.” “Do not torment her on the edge of battle, Holly,” Jonty said. Holly didn’t argue; he just abandoned the topic for the time being.
“The archers will cut them for you, but you have to weaken them enough to bring
them down,” he said to me. “I know what you want me to do.” “You don’t sound certain.” I didn’t voice my doubts, but this was a wild hunt. A true wild
hunt, which meant it was the essence of faerie. The creatures could bleed, but
how do you kill something that is formed of pure magic? This was ancient magic,
chaos magic, primeval and horrible. How do you kill such things? Even if I bled
them enough to bring them to earth, could they be truly slain by blade and ax?
I had never heard of anyone fighting and winning against such a hunt. Of course, I had never heard that the spectral hunts could bleed if
cut. Sholto had called this one into being, using magic that he and I had
raised as a couple. Was it my mortal blood that had made the hunt vulnerable to
bleeding? Was my mortality truly contagious, as some of my enemies claimed? Following this idea to its logical extension meant that if I sat on
the throne of our court, it would condemn all of the sidhe to age and die. But
at this moment if my mortal flesh had made this hunt mortal in turn, I was
grateful for it. It meant they could bleed and die, and I needed them to die.
We needed to win this battle. I would not spread my mortality through all of
faerie, but to have shared it with these creatures—well, that would be a
blessing. THE ARROWS CUT THE NIGHT SKY LIKE BLACK WOUNDS
ACROSS the stars, vanishing into the boiling black silk of the clouds.
We waited in the winter night for screams to let us know the bolts had found
their mark, but there was nothing but silence. I stood on the ground, pulling the borrowed trench coat around me.
I stood on Holly’s cloak, which he had thrown on the ground to keep my bare
feet from the rough ground and the cold. “The cloak gets in the way of my ax,”
he’d said, as if he were afraid that I might think he was being gentlemanly.
Then he moved forward to be with his brother and the other warriors. Only Jonty and one other Red Cap stayed back with me, though every
Red Cap who had come out tonight—a dozen of them—had touched me before they
went to take their place in the ranks. They had laid their mouths, in a strange
sort of kiss, against my shoulder where the coat hung heavy with blood from
Jonty’s cap. One had caught the coat in his pointed teeth and torn it before
Jonty had slapped him away. The ones who came after had widened the hole until
the lips of the last few touched my bare shoulder where the blood had begun to
dry to my skin. I had neither offered the Red Caps the familiarity, nor been asked;
Jonty had called them, and spoken in a Gaelic so old that I could not follow
it. Whatever Jonty had said to them had turned their faces to me, and
the look in their eyes was that odd mix of sex, hunger, and eagerness that I’d
seen in Holly. I hadn’t understood the look—and hadn’t had time to question
it—but because it cost me nothing to have their lips pressed to my shoulder, I
allowed it. Then I noticed that each of the Red Caps who touched me began
bleeding afresh after touching Jonty’s blood on my body. I was fighting an urge to scream my impatience at them, but the Red
Caps weren’t the ones delaying; the other goblins squabbled about who would go
where. If Kurag, Goblin King, had come, there would have been no arguments, but
Ash and Holly, though feared warriors, were not kings, and all other leadership
among the goblins is a constant state of struggle. The goblin society
represented the ultimate in Darwinian evolution: only the strongest survive,
and only the very strongest lead. If I had been truly queen enough to lead them, they would have done
what I ordered, but I didn’t have their respect yet, so I knew better than to
try to lead here. It would have undermined Ash and Holly, and gained me
nothing. Besides, battlefield tactics wasn’t my strongest suit, and I knew
that. My father had drilled into me from an early age to know my strengths and
weaknesses. Find allies who complement you, he’d said. True friendship is a
type of love, and all love has power. Jonty leaned over me and said, “Call your hand of power, Princess.” “How do you know they are hurt?” “We are goblins,” he said, as if that settled it. Another line of green flame flickered through the trees, and I was
close enough now to see the black tendrils back away from it. I didn’t argue
again, but called the hand of blood. I concentrated on my left hand. It didn’t emit a beam of power, or
anything like you see in the movies; it was simply that the mark, or key, to
the hand of blood lay in the palm of my left hand. Or maybe doorway was
a better term. I opened the mark in the palm of that hand, and though there was
nothing to see with the naked eye, there was plenty to feel. It was as if the blood in my veins had suddenly turned to molten
metal. My blood tried to boil with the power of it. I screamed, and thrust my
hand toward the cloud. I projected that burning, tearing power outward. I
realized in that moment that it wasn’t just the archers who were shooting
blind—I had never before tried to use the hand of blood on a target I could not
see. For a heartbeat the power turned back on me, and every small scrape
I’d accumulated in the past twenty-four hours bled. Each tiny wound bled like a
fountain, and I fought my body, fought my own magic to keep it from destroying
me. Lightning struck the cloud, and illuminated it, as it had inside
the sluagh’s mound. But I wasn’t horrified this time, I was joyous; a fierce
triumphant joy. If I could see it, I could make it bleed. I had the blink of an eye to spot my targets. A breath to see that
the tentacled mass was white and silver and gold, not the black and grey and
white it had been. I had an instant to note that the hunt had a terrible beauty
before I thrust my power toward that shining mass and screamed, “Bleed!” Green flame climbed up the trees and lightning flared behind it so
that both powers met mine in the cloud at the same instant. The cloud flashed
green in reflected color. I called for blood and black fountains of it exploded
into the green-yellow flare. The light died, leaving the night blacker than before. My night
vision had been ruined from staring into the light. Something spattered against
the left side of my face, something that felt wet, but carried no shock of
temperature difference. Only two things feel like that: water at body
temperature, and very fresh blood. If I had been a warrior, I would have
whirled, gun up, but I turned slowly, like a character in a horror movie who
doesn’t really want to see the blow before it falls. All that met my eyes was the shortest of my Red Cap guards, Bithek.
Someone had sliced open his scalp to spill blood in a gory mask down his face,
so that even his eyes were lost to the dark flow of it. Then he shook his head
like a wet dog, spattering me with warm drops. I closed my eyes, put up a
protecting hand. Jonty’s chided Bithek. “You’re wasting the blood.” “But so much, can’t keep it out of my eyes. I’d forgotten that it
was ever like this,” Bithek growled. I looked behind me at Jonty and found him as bloody as the other
guard. It made me look around at all of them. They were all covered in blood,
but even by moonlight and starlight, I could see now that the blood welled from
the caps on their heads. “Your magic brings our blood, Princess,” Jonty said. “I don’t understand…” “Make them bleed for us,” the last Red Cap said. I looked at him. “I can’t remember your name,” I said. “For this magic, I would follow you nameless, Princess Meredith.
Bleed our enemies, and cover us in their blood.” I turned away from the Red Caps. I didn’t understand completely,
but trusted. One mystery at a time—later, later I would unravel it all. Even facing away from the Red Caps, I could still feel them. It was
as if their power complemented mine, fed it. No; our powers fed each other;
they were like a warm battery at my back, comforting, energizing. I threw that warmth, that weight of power against our enemies. I
called their blood by the flash of lightning and the flicker of green-gold
flame. I called their blood and knew that the Red Caps at my back bled with
them. I could feel it. The ones who waited ahead of us bled, too. A goblin came running toward us in a blurring speed that would have
done any sidhe proud. He was no taller than me, but had four arms to my two,
and a face that was noseless and strangely unfinished. He dropped to his knees,
and would not meet my eyes. He actually put two of his arms on the ground and
abased himself—striking, because in goblin society the lower you go, the more
respect you feel for the person you’re addressing. I didn’t usually get that
kind of greeting from anybody. He said, “A message from Ash and Holly: “‘Aim
your magic better, Princess, before you bleed us all to death.’” Now I understood why he was abasing himself—he had been afraid I’d
take the message badly. “Tell them I’ll aim better,” I said wryly. He ducked his head, bumping his forehead to the earth, then sprang
to his feet and raced back the way he had come. I drew my magic back, swallowed
the hand of blood. The pain was instantaneous, grinding, and sharp, like broken
glass flowing through my veins. I screamed my pain, wordlessly, but kept the
magic inside me. I fought to visualize the creatures inside the cloud. Tentacles,
veined with silver and gold, white and pure, muscled magic. I fell to my knees
with the pain. Jonty reached for me, and I hissed, “No, don’t touch me.” The
magic wanted to bleed someone, anyone, and his touch would make him the target. I closed my eyes so I could mentally draw the picture of what I
sought. When I could see it, shining and writhing across the inside of my eyes,
I reached my left hand out again, and threw that broken-glass pain into the
image. My pain intensified for a shining, breathless moment—all there was in
that second was the pain, so much pain. Then it eased, and I could breathe
again…and I knew the hand of blood was busy elsewhere. I kept my eyes closed so nothing else could catch my eye. I was
afraid that if I saw the goblin warriors again, I’d bleed them by accident. I
knew what I wanted to bleed, and that was above their heads in the sky. I
thought about all the beautiful things that could have flown above their heads.
Did it have to be frightening? There was such beauty in faerie, why did it have
to be nightmarish? I heard the sound of wings whistling overhead, and opened my eyes.
I’d fallen to the ground on top of Ash’s cloak, though I didn’t remember
falling. Above us, so close that the great white wings brushed Jonty’s head,
were swans. Swans gleaming white in the moonlight: There had to be more than
twenty of them, and had I seen what I thought I saw on their necks and
shoulders? Chains and collars of gold? It couldn’t be—this was the stuff of
legends. It was the nameless Red Cap who voiced my thought: “They had chains
on their necks.” I heard the wild call of geese next. They flew just overhead, following
the line the swans had taken. I got to my feet, stumbling on the edge of the
borrowed trench coat. Jonty caught me, but it didn’t seem to hurt him or me. I
felt light and airy, as if the hand of blood had become something else. What
had I been thinking just before the swans flew overhead? That the beauty in
faerie was too often nightmarish? There was a flight of cranes then: my father’s bird, one of his
symbols. The cranes flew low and seemed to dip their wings at us, almost in a
salute. “They fall!” shouted Bithek. I looked where he pointed. The storm cloud had vanished, and with
it most of the creatures. There had been so many, a writhing mass of them, but
now there were only a few—less than ten, maybe—and one of them had already
crashed through the trees. A second fell earthward, and I heard the sharp crack
of the trees breaking under the weight like a cannon shot, and men scattered,
too far away for me to know who was who. Was Doyle safe? Was Mistral? Had the
magic worked in time? Inside my head, I could finally admit, it was Doyle I most needed
to survive. I loved Rhys, but not like I loved Doyle. I let myself own that. I
let myself admit, at least inside my own head, that if Doyle died, part of me
would die as well. It had been the moment at the car, when he’d shoved Frost
and me inside and given me to Frost. “If not me, it must be you,” he’d said to
Frost. I loved Frost, too, but I’d had my revelation. If I could have chosen my
king this moment, I knew who it would be. Pity that I wasn’t the one doing the choosing. Figures started toward us, and the goblins parted to form a
corridor for my guards. When I finally recognized that tall, dark figure,
something in my chest eased, and I was suddenly crying. I started walking
toward him, then. I didn’t feel the frozen grass under my bare feet. I didn’t
feel when broken stubble cut me. Then I was running, with the Red Caps jogging
beside me. I picked up the edges of the borrowed coat like a dress, and held it
out of my way so I could run to him. Doyle wasn’t alone; dogs, huge black dogs milled around his legs.
Suddenly I remembered a vision I’d had of him with dogs like this, and the
ground tilted under my feet, vision and reality melding before my eyes. The
dogs reached me first, pressing warm muscled fur against me where I knelt,
their great panting breath hot on my face as I held my hands out to touch them.
Their black fur ran with a tingling rush of magic. The bodies writhed under my hand, the fur growing less coarse,
smoothing, the bodies less dense. I looked up into the face of a racing hound,
white and sleek, with ears a shining red. The other hound’s face was half red
and half white, as if some hand had drawn a line down the center of it. I’d
never seen anything so beautiful as that face. Then Doyle was standing in front of me, and I threw myself into his
arms. He lifted me off the ground and hugged me so hard it almost hurt. But I
wanted him to hold me hard. I wanted to feel the reality of his body against
me. I wanted to know he was alive. I needed to touch him to know it was true. I
needed him to touch me, and let me know that he was still my Darkness, still my
Doyle. He whispered into my hair, “Merry, Merry, Merry.” I clung to him, wordless, and wept. EVERYONE LIVED, EVEN THE HUMAN POLICEMEN,
THOUGH some were driven mad by what they had seen. Abeloec fed them from
his cup of horn and they fell into a magical sleep, destined to wake with no
memory of the horrors they had seen. Magic isn’t always bad. The black dogs were a miracle: They changed depending on who
touched them. Abe’s touch turned the great black dogs into lapdogs to lie
before a cozy fire, white with red markings—faerie dogs. Mistral’s touch turned
them to huge Irish wolfhounds, not the pale, slender ones of today, but the giants
that the Romans had feared so much—these were the hounds that could snap the
spine of a horse with their bite. Someone else’s touch turned a dog into a
green-furred Cu Sith that loped off toward the Seelie mound. What would their
king, Taranis, think of its return? He’d probably try to take credit for it,
claim it as proof of his power. In the midst of the return of so much that was lost, other things
much more precious were returned to me. Galen’s voice shouting my name turned
me in Doyle’s arms. He was running across the snowy field with flowers
following in his wake, as if wherever he stepped, spring returned. All the rest
who had vanished into the dead gardens were with him. Nicca appeared with a
following of the winged demifey. Amatheon was there with the tattoo of a plow
gleaming like neon blood on his chest. I saw Hawthorne, his dark hair starred
with living blossoms. Adair’s hair burned around him like a halo of fire, so
bright it obscured his face as he moved. Aisling walked in a cloud of singing
birds. He was nude, except for a piece of black gauze that he’d wrapped around
his face. Onilwyn was the only one who did not come. I thought the garden had
kept him, until I heard another voice shrieking my name in the distance. Then I
heard Onilwyn’s frantic cry: “No, my lord, no!” “It cannot be,” I whispered, looking up at Doyle, watching fear
cross his face, too. “It is he,” Nicca said. Galen wrapped himself around me as if I were the last solid thing
in the world. Doyle moved so he could embrace me as well. “It’s my fault,”
Galen whispered, “I didn’t mean to do it.” Aisling spoke, and the flock of birds sang as if they were moved to
joy by the sound of his voice. “We reemerged in the Hallway of Mortality.” “Major magic doesn’t work there; that’s why we’re all so helpless
to stop the torture,” Rhys said. “We came out of the walls and floors—and trees and flowers, and
shining marble came with us,” Aisling said. “The hallway is forever changed.” Galen started to shake, and I held him as hard as I could. “I was
buried alive,” he said. “I couldn’t breathe, I didn’t need to breathe, but my
body kept trying to do it. I came up through the floor screaming.” He collapsed
to his knees while I fought to hold him. “The queen was walling up Nerys’s clan alive,” Amatheon said.
“Galen did not take well to that after his time in the earth.” Galen shook as if he were having a fit, as if every muscle were
fighting itself, as if he were cold, though fevered. It was too much power and
too much fear. Adair’s glow had dimmed enough so that I could see his eyes. “Galen
said ‘No prisoners, no walls.’ The walls melted away, and flowers sprang up in
the cells. He hadn’t understood how much power he had gained.” Another shriek approached in the distance. “Cousin!” Doyle said, “Galen’s exhortation, ‘No prisoners,’ freed Cel.” Galen started to cry. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Onilwyn and the queen herself—and some of her guard—are wrestling
Cel even now,” Hawthorne said, “or he would be here already, trying to harm the
princess.” “He is quite mad,” Aisling said, “and he is intent on hurting all
of us. But most especially you, Princess.” “The queen told us to run back to the Western Lands. She’s hoping
he’ll grow more calm with time,” Hawthorne said. Even by starlight, he looked
doubtful. “She has admitted before her nobles that she cannot guarantee your
safety,” Aisling said. “We should flee, if we are going to,” Hawthorne said. I realized what he meant. If Cel attacked me now, here, like this,
we would be within our rights to kill him, if we could. My guards were sworn to
protect, and Cel was no match for the strength and magic that stood with me
now. Not alone, he wasn’t. “If I thought the queen would allow his death to go unpunished, I
would say, Stay, fight,” Doyle said. One of the great black mastiffs nudged Galen. He reached for it,
almost automatically, and it changed before my eyes. It became a sleek white
hound with one red ear. It licked the tears from Galen’s face and he stared at
it in wonder, as if he hadn’t seen the dogs until that moment. Then came Cel’s voice, broken, almost unrecognizable. “Merry!” His
screams broke off abruptly. The silence was almost more frightening than the
shouting, and my heart was suddenly pounding hard in my chest. “What happened?” I called out. Andais walked over the rise of the last gentle hill, following
Galen’s trail of flowers. She was alone, save for her consort, Eamon. They were
almost the same height, their long black hair streaming out behind them in a
wind that came from nowhere. Andais was dressed as if she were going to a
Halloween ball—and you were meant to fear her beauty. Eamon’s clothes were more
sedate, and also all black. The fact that Andais arrived with only him at her
side meant she didn’t want extra witnesses. Eamon was the only one who knew all
her secrets. “Cel will sleep for a time,” she called, as if in answer to a
question we hadn’t asked. Galen fought to stand while I steadied him. Doyle moved a little in
front of me. Some of the others did, too. The rest looked behind us into the
night, as if they suspected their queen of treachery. Eamon might be on my side
some of the time—he might even hate Cel—but he would never go against his
queen. Andais and Eamon stopped far enough away that they were out of easy
weapon range. The goblins watched them, and us, from a tight huddled knot, as
if they weren’t sure whose side they were on. I didn’t blame them, for I’d be
going back to L.A. and they would be staying here. I could force Kurag, their
king, to lend me warriors, but I couldn’t expect his men to follow me into
exile. “Meredith, niece of mine, child of my brother Essus, greetings.”
She’d chosen a greeting that acknowledged I was her bloodline. She was trying
to be reassuring; she was just so bad at it. I stepped forward until she could see me, but not beyond the
protective circle of the men. “Queen Andais, aunt of mine, sister of my father,
Essus, greetings.” “You must go back to the Western Lands tonight, Meredith,” said
Andais. “Yes,” I answered. Andais looked at the hounds that still milled among the men. Rhys
finally let himself touch them, and they became terriers of breeds long
forgotten, some white and red, others a good solid black and tan. The queen tried to call one of the dogs to her. The big mastiffs
were what the humans called Hell Hounds, though they had nothing to do with the
Christian devil. The big black dogs would have matched the queen’s costume, but
they ignored her. These wish hounds, the hounds of faerie, would not go to the
hand of the Queen of Air and Darkness. Had I been her, I would have knelt in the snow and coaxed them, but
Andais did not kneel to anyone, or anything. She stood straight and beautiful,
and colder than the snow around her feet. Two other hounds had come to my hands, and they now bumped against
me on either side, leaning in to be petted. I did it, because in faerie, we
touch someone when they ask. The moment I stroked that silken fur, I felt
better: braver, more confident, a little less afraid of what was about to
happen. “Dogs, Meredith? Couldn’t you return our horses to us, or our
cattle, instead?” “There were pigs in my vision,” I said. “Not dogs,” she said, her voice matter-of-fact, as if nothing
special had happened. “I saw dogs in a different vision, when I was still in the Western
Lands.” “True vision then,” she said, her voice still bland and faintly
condescending. “Apparently so,” I said, ruffling the ear of the taller of the
hounds. “You must leave now, Meredith, and take this wild magic with you.” “Wild magic is not so easily tamed, Aunt Andais,” I said. “I will
take back with me what will go, but some of it is flying free, even as we
speak.” “I saw the swans,” Andais said, “but no crows. You are so terribly
Seelie.” “The Seelie would say otherwise,” I said. “Go, go back to where you came from. Take your guards and your
magic, and leave me the wreck of my son.” It was tantamount to admitting that
if Cel fought me tonight, he would die. “I will go only if I can take all the guards who would come with
me.” I said it as firmly and bravely as I could. “You cannot have Mistral,” she said. I fought not to look for him at my back, fought not to see his big
hands touching the huge hounds that his caress had brought into being. “Yes, I
said. I remember what you told me in the dead gardens: that I could not keep
him.” “You will not argue with me?” she asked. “Would it do any good?” The tiniest hint of anger seeped into my
voice. The hounds tucked themselves tighter against my legs, leaning in for all
they were worth, as if they would remind me not to lose control. “The only thing that will call Mistral from my side to yours in the
Western Lands is if you come up pregnant. If you become with child, I will have
to let go of any who could be the father.” “If I become with child, I will send word,” I said, and fought to
keep my voice even. Mistral was going to suffer for being with me, I could see
it in her face, feel it in her voice. “I do not know what to wish for anymore, Meredith. Your magic runs
through my sithen, changing it into something bright and cheerful. There is a
field of flowers in my torture chamber.” “What do you want me to say, Aunt Andais?” “I wanted the magic of faerie to be reborn, but you are not enough
my brother’s daughter. You will make of us only another Seelie Court to dance
and parade before the human press. You will make us beautiful, but destroy that
which makes us different.” “I would humbly disagree with that,” said a voice from the crowd of
my men. Sholto stepped forward. His tattoo had become a nest of real tentacles
again, glowing and pale, and strangely beautiful, like some underwater sea
creature, some anemone or jellyfish. It was the first time I’d ever seen him
display his extra bits with pride. He stood tall with the spear and knife of
bone in his hands; at his side was a huge white hound with different red
markings on each of its three heads. Sholto used the side of the hand that held
the knife to rub the top of one of the huge heads. Sholto spoke again. “Merry makes us beautiful, yes, my queen. But
the beauty is stranger than anything the Seelie Court would allow within their
doors.” Andais gazed at Sholto, and for a moment I thought I saw regret.
Sholto’s magic rode him, and power breathed off him into the night. “You had him,” she said to me, simply. “Yes,” I said. “How was it?” “It was our coming together that raised the wild hunt.” She shivered, and there was a hunger on her face that frightened
me. “Amazing. Perhaps I will try him some night.” Sholto spoke again. “There was a time, my queen, when the thought
of a chance at your bed would have filled me with joy. But I truly know now
that I am King Sholto of the Sluagh, the Lord of That Which Passes Between,
Lord of Shadows. I will no longer take crumbs from the table of any sidhe.” She made a sharp sound, almost a hiss. “You must be an amazing bit
of ass, Meredith. One fuck with you and they all turn against me.” To that, there was no safe answer, so I said nothing. I stood in
the midst of my men, with the weight and press of the hounds milling around us.
Would she have been more aggressive if the dogs—war dogs, most of them—had not
been there? Was she afraid of the magic—or the more solid form the magic had
taken? One of the small terriers growled, and it was like a signal to the
others. The night was suddenly thick with growls, a low chorus that shivered
down my spine. I petted the heads of those I could touch, hushing them. The
Goddess had sent me guardians, I understood that now. I thanked her for it. “Cel’s guards who did not take oath to him—you promised they could go
with me,” I said. “I will not strip him of all signs of my favor,” she answered, and
her anger seemed to crackle on the cold air. “You gave your word,” I insisted. The dogs gave another low chorus of growls. The terriers began to
bark, as terriers will. I realized in that moment that the wild hunt was not
gone, only changed. These were the hounds of the wild hunt. These were the
hounds of legend that hunted oathbreakers through the winter wood. “Do not dare to threaten!” said Andais. Eamon touched her arm. She
jerked away from him, but seemed chastened. The wild hunt had been a great
leveler of the mighty. Once you became their prey, the hunt did not end until
the quarry was dead. “I do not believe I am the huntsman,” I said. “It would be a bad night, Queen Andais, to be an oathbreaker.”
Doyle’s deep molasses voice seemed to hang on the night, as if his words had
more weight on the still, winter air than they should have. “Are you the huntsman, Darkness? Would you punish me for breaking
faith?” “It is wild magic, Your Majesty; there is sometimes little choice
when it fills you. You become an instrument of the magic, and it uses you for
its own ends.” “Magic is a tool to be wielded, not some force one allows oneself
to be overcome by.” “As you will, Queen Andais, but I ask that you do not test these
hounds tonight.” Somehow it seemed Doyle wasn’t talking about just the dogs. “I will honor my word,” she said in a voice that made it clear that
she did so only because she had no choice. She had never been a gracious loser,
not in anything, large or small. “But you must leave now, Meredith, this
moment.” “We need time to send for the other guards,” I said. “I will bring all those who wish to come to you, Meredith,” Sholto
said. I turned, and there was an assurance in him, a strength that had
not been there before. He stood there with his “deformity” plain to see. He now
made it seem just another part of him, though, a part that would have been as
surely missed as an arm, or a leg if it were gone. Had being stripped of his
extra bits made him realize he valued them? Maybe. It was his revelation, not
mine. “You would side with her,” Andais said. “I am King of the Sluagh; I will see that an oath given and
accepted is honored. Remember, Queen Andais, that the sluagh was the only wild
hunt left in faerie until tonight. And I am the huntsman of the sluagh.” She took a step toward him, as if in threat, but Eamon pulled her
back. He whispered urgently against her cheek. I could not hear what he said,
but the tension left her body, until she allowed herself to lean back against
him. She let him hold her; in the face of those who were not her friends, she
let Eamon’s arms hold her. “Go, Meredith, take all that is yours, and go.” Her voice was
almost neutral, almost free of that rage that always seemed to bubble just
underneath her skin. “Your Majesty,” Rhys said, “we cannot go to the human airport like
this.” His gesture seemed to note how many of the guards were naked, and
bloody. The terriers at his feet gave happy barks, as if it looked all right to
them. Sholto spoke again. “I will take you to the edge of the Western Sea, just as I took the sluagh when we hunted Meredith in Los Angeles.” I looked at him and shook my head. “I thought you came by plane.” He laughed, and it was a joyous sound. “Did you picture the dark
host of the sluagh on some human airplane sipping wine and ogling the flight
attendants?” I laughed with him. “I hadn’t thought about it that clearly. You
are the sluagh—I didn’t question how you got to me.” “I will walk the edge of the field where it touches the woods. It
is an in-between place, neither field nor forest. I will walk, you will all
follow, and we will be at the edge of the Western Sea, where it touches the
shore. I am the lord of the between places, Meredith.” “I didn’t think any royals could still travel so far,” Rhys said. “I am the King of the Sluagh, Cromm Cruach, master of the last wild
hunt of faerie. I have certain gifts.” “Indeed,” the queen said, drily, “use those gifts, Shadowspawn, and
take these rabble from my sight.” She’d used the nickname that the sidhe called
him behind his back, but that even she had never used to his face before. “Your disdain cannot touch me tonight, for I have seen wonders.” He
held up the weapons of bone, as if she had missed them before. “I hold the
bones of my people. I know my worth.” If I’d been closer to him I would have embraced him. Probably just
as well that I wasn’t, as it might have ruined the power of the moment, but I
promised myself to give him a hug the moment we had some privacy. I loved
seeing that he valued himself at last. I heard a sound like the breaking of ice. “Frost,” I said. “We
can’t leave him behind.” “Didn’t the FBI take him to the hospital?” Doyle asked. I shook my head. “I don’t think so.” I looked out across the snow.
I couldn’t see anything, but…I started moving, and the hounds followed at my
side. I started to run across the snow, and felt the first sharp pain in my cut
feet. I ignored it, and ran faster. Time and distance shortened—as they never
before had outside the sithen. One minute I was with the others, the next I was
miles away, in the fields beside the road. My twin hounds had stayed with me,
and half a dozen of the black mastiffs were there, too. Frost lay in the snow, unmoving, as if he couldn’t feel the dogs
snuffling at him or my hands turning him over. The drifts underneath him were
soaked with blood, and his eyes were closed. His face was so cold. I lowered my
lips to his and whispered his name: “Frost, please, please, don’t leave me.” His body convulsed, and his breath rattled back into his chest.
Death seemed to be reversed. His eyes fluttered open, and he tried to reach for
me, but his hand fell back into the snow, too weak. I lifted his hand to my
face and held it there. I held his hand there while it grew warm against my
skin. I cried, and he found his voice, hoarse. He whispered, “The cold
cannot kill me.” “Oh, Frost.” He raised his other hand and touched the tears on my face. “Do not
weep for me, Merry. You love me, I heard it. I was leaving, but I heard your
voice, and I couldn’t leave, not if you loved me.” I cradled his head in my lap and wept. His other hand, the one that
I wasn’t clutching, brushed the fur of one of the huge black dogs. The dog
stretched and grew tall and white. A shining white stag stood over us. It had a
collar of holly, and looked like some Yule card brought to life. It pranced in
the snow, then ran in a white blur across the snow until it was lost to sight. “What magic is abroad this night?” Frost whispered. “The magic that will take you home.” Doyle spoke from behind us. He
fell to his knees in the snow beside Frost, and took his hand. “The next time I
send you to a hospital, you are to go.” Frost managed a wan smile. “I could not leave her.” Doyle nodded as if that made perfect sense. “I don’t think the magic will last until morning,” Rhys said. They
were all there, trailing behind, except Mistral. He was with the queen, I
supposed. I hadn’t even gotten to say good-bye. “But for tonight,” Rhys said, “I am Cromm Cruach, and I can help.”
He knelt on the other side of Frost and laid hands on him, above where his
clothing was black with blood. Rhys was suddenly formed of white light, not just his hands, but
all of him glowing. His hair moved in the wind of his own magic. Frost’s body
jerked upward, leaving my lap and our hands. He fell back against Doyle and me,
and said in a voice that was almost his own, “That hurt.” “Sorry about that,” said Rhys, “but I’m not a healer, not really.
There is too much of death in my power to make it painless.” Frost touched his own shoulder and chest, taking his hands from out
of Doyle’s and mine. “If you are not a healer, then why do I feel healed?” “Old magic,” Rhys said. “The morning light will find this magic
gone.” “How can you be certain?” Doyle asked. “The voice of the God in my head tells me so.” No one questioned after that. We just accepted it as true. Sholto led us to the edge of the field and forest. The dogs moved
around us, some choosing their masters, others making it plain that they did
not belong to anyone here. The ones that chose among us followed as Sholto
walked, but the other black dogs began to fall back and vanish into the night,
as if we had imagined them. The hound at my side bumped my hand for a pat, as
if to remind me that it was real. I wasn’t certain the hounds would stay, but they seemed magically
to give each of us what we needed tonight. Galen walked surrounded by dogs,
circled by sleek-looking greyhounds and a trio of small dogs dancing at his
feet. They made him smile, and helped chase the shadows from his face. Doyle
moved in a circle of black dogs; they fawned and capered about him like
puppies. The terriers followed Rhys like a small army of fur. Frost held my
hand over the back of the smallest of the greyhounds. He had no dog at his
side—only the white stag that had run into the night. But he seemed perfectly
content with my hand in his. The air was warm, and I looked from Frost’s face to Sholto, and
found that Sholto was walking on sand. One moment we were walking in
snow-covered fields at the edge of the trees, and the next moment sand sucked
at my feet. Water swirled over my bare toes, and the bite of salt let me know
that I was bleeding. I must have made some small sound, because Frost picked me up. I
protested, but it did me no good. The greyhounds stayed at his side, dancing
around us, half afraid of the curl of ocean, and seemingly worried that they
couldn’t stay in contact with me. Sholto led us up on dry land. The three-headed dog and the bone
weapons had vanished, but somehow I didn’t think they were any more gone than
the chalice was from me. True magic cannot be lost or stolen; it can only be
given away. We stood in the darkness, hours before dawn. I could hear the
rushing of cars on the highway nearby. We were hidden by cliffs, but that would
change as the dawn grew near. Surfers and fishermen would come down to the sea,
and we needed to be gone before then. “Use glamour to hide your appearance,” Sholto said. “I have sent
for taxis. They will arrive very soon.” “What magic is it,” I asked, “that lets you find taxis in L.A. at a moment’s notice?” “I am the Lord of That Which Passes Between, Merry, and taxis are
always going between one place and another.” It made perfect sense, but it made me smile all the same. I reached
for Sholto, and Frost let him take me, though not just with his arms. The thick
muscular tentacles wrapped around my body, the smaller ones playing along my
thighs, somehow finding their way under the borrowed trench coat. “Next time you are in my bed, I will not be half a man.” I kissed him, and whispered against his lips, “If that was you as
only half a man, King Sholto, then I can hardly wait to have you in all your
glory.” He laughed, that joyous sound that had brought the singing of birds
in the sluagh’s dead garden. I thought there would be no answer here, but
suddenly over the sighing of surf came singing, one birdsong after another,
sliding in joyous celebration in the dark. It was a mockingbird, singing for
Sholto’s laughter. We stood for a moment on the edge of the Western Sea with the mockingbird’s song pouring over us, as if happiness could have a sound. Sholto kissed me back, hard and thorough, leaving me breathless.
Then he handed me back, not to Frost, but to Doyle. “I will return so I can
bring the rest of the guards who wish to come into exile with you.” Doyle cuddled me in against his body and said, “Beware the queen.” Sholto nodded. “I will be wary.” He began to walk back the way we
had come. Somewhere before he vanished from sight I saw the white shine of a
dog at his side. “Everybody remember that the glamour is supposed to hide the fact
that we’re naked, and bloody,” Rhys said. “Anyone who doesn’t have enough
glamour to pull it off, stand next to someone who does.” “Yes, Teacher,” I said. He grinned at me. “I can cause death with a touch and a word; I can
heal with my hands for tonight. But damn, conjuring this many taxis out of thin
air—now, that’s impressive.” We walked up to the line of waiting taxis, laughing. The drivers
all seemed a little puzzled to find themselves in the middle of nowhere,
waiting beside an empty beach, but they let us get in. We gave the taxis the address of Maeve Reed’s Holmby Hills house,
and they drove. They didn’t even complain about the dogs. Now, that was magic. LAURELL K. HAMILTON
is the New York Times bestselling author of the Meredith Gentry novels A
Kiss of Shadows, A Caress of Twilight, Seduced by Moonlight, and A
Stroke of Midnight, as well as fourteen acclaimed Anita Blake, Vampire
Hunter, novels. She lives in St. Louis, Missouri. Visit the author’s official website at www.laurellkhamilton.org. By Laurell K. Hamilton A KISS OF SHADOWS A CARESS OF TWILIGHT SEDUCED BY MOONLIGHT A STROKE OF MIDNIGHT |
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