"Hansen, Michael - The Step Off" - читать интересную книгу автора (Hansen Michael)

Esteban couldn't look at him or Bear. "It's different, man," he said sullenly. "This guy's all awake and shit. It's not like with the other guy."

Jose shook his head and shrugged. "Awake, out cold, so what? Don't wuss out on me, hermano."

Esteban didn't say anything more as he squatted next to the Asian kid again. He glanced at the guy's face once more, hoping that hitting the road like that had knocked him out. No such luck: the moonlight made the Asian kid's face look like a round mask carved from ivory, and his almond eyes were open and filled with tears as he stared pleadingly back. Angry at himself for looking again, Esteban glanced quickly away.

Bear took his position and they hoisted the Asian kid up to the rail once more. He didn't fight this time. Instead he shook in fear like a wet dog, a bone-deep trembling that Esteban could feel through his hands where he held him upright on the edge of this final, fatal drop off. It was if all the life inside this guy, soon to be snuffed out and grow cold in the dark waters below, as if all that life were shivering out of him like leaking electricity. Was he the only one here that could feel it? Esteban wondered. For the first time Esteban could see beyond business and family obligation to what was actually going on here. There was some horrible energy at work on this bridge that made whatever this kid had done, whatever petty rip-off he and his dead crime partner had tried to inflict on Jose, seem like nothing. And Esteban was right in the middle of it, here and now. But he didn't know how to stop it, he couldn't see how to escape this deed. He stooped like a robot next to Bear, trapped by the process, a prisoner of circumstance.

A prisoner of his brother, he realized for the first time in his life. The insight hit him like a club, and he froze there for a moment, stooping at the feet of the man he was about to help murder. "Lift, Esteban, goddamit!" Bear hissed at him furiously. Obeying without thinking, as he had obeyed his whole life, Esteban stood with Bear and heaved up on the Asian kid's feet, regretting his action the instant he made it. No! he screamed silently, wishing he could take it back, wishing he could undo it. Despite his fear of heights he watched as the chain bound figure toppled end over end through the air in seeming slow motion. The moonlight beamed directly onto the figure's face for an instant. To Esteban's horror he saw, not the Asian kid's round features, but his own face peering back at him, as if they had switched places and he were the one spinning off into outer darkness. Then the body hit the river and was gone.

Esteban thrust himself frantically away from the rail. He felt light headed, as if he were about to faint. Almost he wanted to laugh, but he was afraid he would never stop. He went to church regularly, and he wondered now, if he went to confession and told the priest of this night's work, how many Hail Mary's he would be given, how many acts of contrition? What act of atonement could remove the stain he had just willingly put on his own soul? He was afraid there was none. He felt as if he was damned, damned beyond redemption.

"Get your ass in gear, Esteban!" he heard Jose yell from behind him. Esteban whirled to face him. Bear was already in the back seat of the Coupe de Ville, and Jose stood impatient by the open passenger door.

Esteban studied his big brother as if seeing him for the first time. His big brother, all the family he had left in the world. His big brother, who had taken care of him since they were both little. He'd always loved his big brother Jose.

But now something had curdled in Esteban's heart. Coldly studying his brother like a bug he was about to crush, Esteban admitted to himself just how much fear had come to be mixed in with that love. How much hatred.

This drug business had changed Jose, had made his brother something Esteban didn't even recognize anymore, something dark and evil, that delighted in pain and death. Esteban had to ask himself, if he stepped far enough out of line, would Jose wrap him in chains and drive him up to the river? He was afraid he already knew the answer.

He slowly walked around the Coupe de Ville to the driver's side, his mind racing. His brother had led his immortal soul into damnation tonight. He could never forgive Jose for that. As he opened the door, Esteban realized with a thrill that his brother could die just as easily as the Asian kid and the other punk had. It would be simple. After all, his brother himself had taught Esteban to kill.

"You getting in or what?" his brother rasped from the darkness inside the car.

Esteban smiled for the first time that evening as he slid into the driver's seat, his mind turning like a wheel as he began planning. There was going to be hell to pay for this night's work.



Copyright й 2000 Michael Hansen