"HARRISON, Harry - 04 - The Stainless Steel Rat Wants You(V1.0)" - читать интересную книгу автора (Harrison Harry)

"You should. They have vanished without a trace. So has the satellite. We haven't the slightest idea of what happened to them."

"Will they be missed? I should think that a certain amount of jubilation will be beard below decks--"

"Save the humor, diGriz. If the press gets ahold of this just think of the political repercussions. Not to mention the disorganized state of our defenses."

"That shouldn't worry you too much. I don't see any intergalactic warfare looming on the horizon just now. In any case--let me call home with a censored version of this information and off we go."


Behind the air intake in the wall the creature hung, supported by sucker-equipped tentacles. It blinked large green eyes in the darkness and made muffled chomping sounds as it worked its needle sharp red teeth against its bony palate. It stank, too.


"There is something fishy here, Slippery Jim, and I don't like it," my Angelina said, eyes flashing fire from the viewplate. How I loved her fire.

"Never, my sweet!" I lied. "A sudden assignment, that's all. A few days' work. I'll be back as soon as it is done. Now that the boys have graduated you must get out the old travel brochures and find a nice spot for us all to go for a holiday."

"I'm glad you mentioned the boys. They slunk in a few minutes ago all bashed and dirty and tired and would not say a word as to what had happened."

"They will. Tell them Dad says All Operations Go and they should tell you the entire story of our evening's interesting adventures. See you soon, my sweet!" I blew her a kiss and switched off before she could protest again. By the time she had heard of the night's nonsense I would be off planet and finishing this intriguing new assignment. Not that I cared much what happened to a few hundred admirals, but the mechanics of their disappearance should prove interesting.

It did. As soon as we were en route to Kakalak-two I cracked open the file, poured a large glass of Syrian Panther Sweat, a guaranteed coronary in every bottle, and sat down for a good read. I did this slowly, then a second time a little faster--then a third just to hit the high points. When I dropped the folder I saw that Inskipp was seated across from me, glaring, chewing his lip, tapping his fingers on the table and swinging his toe up and down

"Nervous?" I asked. "Try a glass of this--"

"Shut up! Just tell me what you think, what you've found out."

"I've found out that we are going to the wrong place, for openers. Change course for Special Corps Main Station so I can have a chat with my old friend, Professor Coypu."

"But the investigation--"

"Will accomplish nothing on the spot." I tapped the file. "It's all been done already. All of your military types assembled, usual radio traffic-then the warning shouts and the cryptic cry of 'The teeth!,' then nothing more. Your highly trained investigating team went there and found empty space and no remnant of the satellite nor any trace of what had happened. If I go there I would find the same thing. So take me to Coypu?"

"Why?"

"Because Coypu is the master of the time-helix. In order to find out what happened I am going to slip back in time just long enough to see what occurred on that fateful day."

"I never thought of that," Inskipp mused.

"Of course not. Because you fly a desk and I am the best field agent in the Corps. I will take one of your cigars as a reward for my sterling qualities, so often displayed."

Prof Coypu was not interested. He clattered his impressive yellow buck teeth against his lower lip, shook his head no so emphatically that the few remaining long strands of gray hair dropped over his eyes, while at the same time making pushing motions with his hands.

"Are you trying to tell us you don't like the idea?" I suggested.

"Madness! No, never. Since the last time we used the time-helix there has been nothing but temporal feedback along the static synergy curves . . ."

"Please, Professor Coypu," I begged. "Simplify, if you please. Treat me and your good master, Inskipp here, as if we were scientific imbeciles."

"Which you are. I was forced to use the time-helix once to save us all from dissolution, then was prevailed upon to use it again to rescue you from the past. It shall not be used again--you have my word!"