"Harry Harrison & David Bischoff - Bill the Galactic Hero 6 -" - читать интересную книгу автора (Harrison Harry)

69.
Which was, of course, Some Godforsaken Planet any bowbing way you sliced it.
There it was! The way out!
A form reared before Bill, blocking the exit. "Outta the way, you mother bowber!" shouted Bill politely.
"I gotta get off this tub!"
The form solidified into a shaggy, bearded man covered with a mass of rags. "Slowly I turn," the man
rumbled with a deep, ominous voice. "Step by step ... inch by inch...." The man lifted his leg, from which
an old broken chain depended. "I'm free! I don't believe it! You've freed me! I've been in this starship,
forgotten, for years! And you've freed me! How ever can I thank you?"
"You can just move it! I've gotta get down this ladder!"
A loudspeaker rattled. "One minute till closing of hatch. Next stop: Some Godforsaken Planet!"
"Oh no! That's Deathworld 69! There is death, only death there!" The man fell to his knees, blubbering
miserably before Bill. "Oh, please good buddy! Please take me with you!"
"Get outta my way!"
"Please sir! I'll give you the Secret to the Universe! I know the meaning of Life itself!"
"Look, butt-head, I don't care if you've got the keys to the Captain's liquor cabinet. This boat's gonna blow
soon, and I'm not going to be on it!"
"I'm not lying!"
"Thirty seconds to hatch closing.... Last chance for flight insurance. A mere ten million credits per head.


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 Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of The Hippies From Hell

Twenty-nine seconds...."
Bill was starting to panic. He gave the guy a hard, quick shove. The ragged man fell backward, rolled and
fell straight back and down the hatchway. He grabbed at the ladder which clattered and jerked тАФ
тАФ and then collapsed, cutting Bill off from egress.
Bill stared, horrified.
"Twenty-five seconds. Kiss your Trooper butts good-bye!" came the reassuring rasp of the loudspeaker.
Now, Bill had been in the deep end before, so he knew exactly what worked best in such clearly difficult
situations.
Total and complete, mind-destroying panic!
Not thinking about the immediate danger, only thinking about getting stuck on a planet like Veniola
again, Bill screamed shrilly and dived headfirst down the hatchway.
He landed surprisingly softly.
"Ooof!" came a cry. "Ouch!" came another. "Hey buddy! You wanna get off us! Like it's not bad enough
we're doomed, we gotta get landed on by some fat goofball!"
Fortunately he'd landed on a communal Trooper mattress, complete with communal Troopers.
Bill would have taken exception to the word "fat" but the loudspeaker was reminding everybody smugly
that they had exactly ten тАФ no, nine seconds till the hatch closed.
Bill scrambled off the mattress, impeded by various Trooper limbs and faces. "Hey bud, why don't you
stick around!"
"Yeah! We could use some company."
Bill distributed a few punches and broke loose of the tangle. He struggled toward the smudgy bar of light
that was the hatchway.
"Four seconds. Two seconds."
"Hey wait a minute!" screamed Bill. "You missed 'Three seconds.'"
"Three seconds?" said the intercom voice. "Did I miss three seconds, Madge? I could have sworn I hit
three. Oh well, Three seconds. One seconds."