"Harry Harrison & David Bischoff - Bill, The Galactic Hero 4 " - читать интересную книгу автора (Harrison Harry)

swirl of a gently plonking musical instrument. All these things were very nice, and Bill felt relaxed and
calm. He could have just lain there for languid hours, but for the sweet acrid smell that suddenly wafted to
his nostrils.
Boing! went his eyelids as they sprang wide open.
Wine!
In Bill's top ten list of favorite libations containing CO2HO2O, wine was maybe number nine, with Sterno
as number ten and good old brain-destroying grain alcohol with all its varied applications leading the
pack. But then, when did a Trooper get to dally with fancy stuff like el vino? Bill had gotten drunk on
dingleberry wine on Squat IV once in a particularly rancid cantina on leave from Latrine Attendant
Qualifying Training, and the hangover the next day was a memory that still disturbed him when he was
distressed. But this stuff he was smelling smelled real good, and hey! Alcohol was alcohol and the only
time that Bill was uninterested in alcohol was when he had to drive a starship. (Footnote: Free Public
Service Announcement from Galactic Troopers Against Drunk Driving.) But then, since Bill wasn't a
starship pilot, had no intention of being one, and was frightened bowbless at the thought, he very seldom
had to worry.
His eyes rolled about. His stomach clutch engaged, then ground into gear. Saliva gushed into his mouth,
drooling down and dripping off one of Deathwish Drang's fangs.
"Hi there, you-all!" he croaked. "Anybody got something to drink here?"
The sight that met his eyes, however, stopped all thoughts of gross guzzling.
He lay sprawled in an olive grove, lightly kissed by gentle lightbeams radiating warmly from a stylized
sun in the heavens. This same sky was bluer than a robin's egg in deep depression. In the distance mighty

file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Har...the%20Planet%20of%20Tasteless%20Pleasures.htm (10 of 95) [10/14/2004 11:58:11 PM]
 Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Tasteless Pleasure

mountains reached skyward, while, just yards away, he discerned the tell-tale flora of a vineyard. He was
lying on luxurious soft grass, even more cushiony than the Porta-lawns in the Officer's deck on Imperial
battle cruisers. Flowers speckled the green with vibrant colors worthy of an Impressionist painter's most
blobbily intense splatters.
But it was not the overwhelming beauty of the scenery that surprised Bill most, but rather the festivities,
the caprices capering about him. Scantily clad women giggled as they darted amongst the bushes. Horned
furry satyrs frenetically pursued these young women тАФ or lounged about, being fed grapes from
glistening purple bunches. Philosophical types in toga-like folds of white cloth, wearing laurel leaves
upon their aged brows, spouted metaphysical theory тАФ while ogling young boys from the corner of their
eyes тАФ pausing in their orations only to grab the occasional passing ephebe buttock.
And all of these merry-makers held huge jeweled goblets aswim with fragrant purple liquid, constantly
being topped off by leafy dryads carrying pitchers of wine.
By the eternal benevolence of Ahura Mazda in all his magnificence, though Bill really hadn't been to
church lately, this was something! What an incredible party!
"What a brave new world, that hast such creatures in it!" came a voice, sweet as Bill's favorite childhood
cereal, CORNDOG CRUNCHIES, with an entire dog in every stick.
"Huh?" he susurrated vibrantly. The words had come from behind him, and Bill swiveled his head.
"Oh sweet prince!" the voice sounded again, as vibrant as a silver bell. "Never have I looked upon a
visage so lovely. May I dare request humble permission to kiss an ivory fang!"
Bill found himself staring into a set of the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen. These were sticking
out of a face that would have launched a thousand starships! As well as a body that would have launched
a thousand starship Troopers! All of this fascinating femaleness clothed in the barest minimum of silken
gowns, the maximum of blonde hair and honey-soft skin!
What a package of palpitating pulchritude!
He was about to hurl himself upon her, wrap her in the generosity of his embrace, rain kisses on those