"Harry Harrison & Robert Sheckley - Bill the Galactic Hero 3 " - читать интересную книгу автора (Harrison Harry)

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 Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Bottled Brains

"Not particularly. But I suppose there is no stopping you. Let's see what you can do."
Immediately the figure seated at the desk vanished. The opalescent hue of the domelike wall changed to
red shot through with streaks of black. An unpleasant exudant oozed from the walls. Regurgitant sounds
came from speakers that suddenly extruded themselves from the walls. From hidden entranceways little
black imps complete with forked tails and bearing tiny pitchforks flew in and circled Bill's head like a
flock of mites, not managing to bite him, of course, since his corporeal extension was missing, but
managing to act plenty annoying and to block his field of vision. At the same time one of the walls
opened to reveal a fiery furnace, complete with wrought iron horses standing in the middle of it bearing
huge blazing logs. The gusts of heat the furnace let out would have frightened the bejeezus out of a
creature with a lot less imagination than Bill. At the same time the wall on the other side opened to reveal
an Arctic wilderness with a double gale blowing across sending great flurries of razor-sharp ice crystals
flying around the room. Both of these creations were going full blast at the same time, and Bill, no matter
where he moved, seemed to be caught between them. He perceived a tiny passageway in one wall and ran
to it. It led him to a pit full of excrement. And then the walls started shaking.
Bill was teetering on the single plank that ran across the side of the excremental ordure shaking with fear
and knowing that he was going to fall into it. At this moment, when all appeared to be lost, a voice came
to him from somewhere close by:
"Don't let the bastards get you down!"
"Who's that?" Bill asked tremulously.
"It's me. The Squoll. I just wanted to see how you were doing."
"As you can see," Bill screamed, "not too goddamned well!"
"I fail to perceive the difficulty."
"You do do you, you moronic two-tailed animal! Just take a good look. I've got a fire on one side and a
snowstorm on the other side and a pit of shit blocking the only exit."
"Really? That's quite interesting," the Squoll said admiringly. "I can't see any of those things, of course,
because they're computer simulations and therefore don't work on simpler creatures such as myself."
"You can't see them?"
"I'm afraid not. Take your word for it, though."
"If you can't see them, that means they're not there!" Bill cried out excitedly. And at that very instant the
hallucinations or visions or whatever the hell they were тАФ computer simulations maybe тАФ ceased. Or
rather, they may very well have continued, because Bill could see various shadows dancing and
interweaving, but they had no meaning for him because he had refused to understand them out of miffed
pride at being outdone by a simple-minded Squoll.
With the hallucinations or whatever ended, Bill could see that the interior of the computer was also a
simulated space, and that he need no longer be bound by the walls. He walked through several of them.
Behind him came an angry voice: "And just what do you think you're up to?"
"Goodbye, computer," Bill said. "I'm going to take a little vacation from all this."
No matter what the computer said, there didn't seem to be anything he could do. It called after Bill,
"You'll be sorry," but Bill ignored that and, with the Squoll close behind, went back to the fields where he
had tended the valves and first met the Squoll and found salvation.


Chapter 4

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 Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Bottled Brains