"Harry Harrison - SSR 05 - The Stainless Steel Rat For Presid" - читать интересную книгу автора (Harrison Harry)

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The Stainless Steel Rat for President
by Harry Harrison


"Can you think of a special toast?" I asked, watching closely as the waiter filled our glasses
with the sparkling vintage wine. ~
"I certainly can," my dear Angelina said, raising her glass and looking across it straight into
my eyes. "To my husband, Jim diGriz, who has just saved the universe. Again." I was touched.
Particularly by the again. Since I am by nature extremely modest, it is always a pleasure to have
my personal feelings about my abilities supported by an unsolicited testimonial. Particularly from
one as lovely, charming, intelligent, and dangerously ruthless as my Angelina. She had also been
present during the entire affair with the Slimeys, had even been an active participant while I was
stopping them from taking over our galaxy, so I treasured her opinion

even more.
"You are too kind," I murmured. "But truth will out. However it is all over now and we will
forget the grim parts, drink to the victoriesтАФand enjoy the best meal that this restaurant can
provide."
We touched glasses and drank deep. Over my wife's shoulder I admired the orange Blodgett sun
setting behind the purple skyline, the sunlight striking reflections from the canal outside. And
out of the comers of my eyes I kept close watch

on the two heavies seated by the door who had our table under subtle surveillance. I didn't know
who they wereтАФbut I did know that they were packing large guns in their damp armpits.
I would not let them spoil the occasion! Angelina and I made light talk, drank the wine, gorged
ourselves on the curried mastodon. The string quartet played, darkness fell,

we lingered over coffee and liqueurтАФand Angelina took out a tiny mirror as she touched up her
lipstick.

2 The Stainless Steel Rat for President

"You do know that there are two thugs by the entrance who have been watching us closely ever
since we arrived." I sighed and nodded and took out my cigar case. "Unhappily, my sweet, I do.
I did not mention them for fear they would spoil the meal." "Nonsense! It just added a little
spice to the dinner." "Most perfect wife," I enthused, smiling as I lit my cigar. "This planet
radiates boredom. Anything with the slightest whiff of interest can only be an improvement." "I'm
glad you feel like that . . ." She glanced into her mirror. "Because they are on their way over
here now. Is there anything I can do to help? I only have this tiny evening bag,

so I'm not really prepared. Just a few grenades, a sonic bomb or two, nothing important."
"Is that all?" I asked, eyebrows reaching for my hairline. My Angelina never ceases to amaze.
"No. This lipstick is a one-shot pistol, deadly at fifty meters..."
"We won't need that," I said hurriedly. "Not for just two of them. You sit and watch. A little
exercise to aid my digestion." "Four. They've been joined by some friends." "The odds are still in
my favor."
I could hear them thudding up behind me nowтАФand I relaxed. From the weight of their steps they
could only be police. Criminals might have given me some trouble. But the local police! I could