"Heinlein, Robert A - Magic, Inc" - читать интересную книгу автора (Heinlein Robert A)
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by Robert Heinlein
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MAGIC, INC
'Whose spells are you
using, buddy?' That was the first thing this bird said after coming into
my place of business, He had hung around maybe twenty minutes, until I was
alone, looking at samples of waterproof pigment, fiddling with plumbing
catalogues, and monkeying with the hardware display. I didn't like his manner.
I don't mind a legitimate business inquiry from a customer_ but I resent
gratuitus snooping. Various of the local licensed
practitioners of thaumaturgy,' I told him in a tone that was chilly but polite.
Why do you ask?' You didn't answer my question,'
he pointed out. Come on - speak up. I ain't got all day.' I restrained myself. I require
my clerks to he polite, and, while I was pretty sure this chap would never be a
customer, I didn't want to break my own rules. If you are thinking of buying
anything,' I said, I will be happy to tell you what magic, if any, is used in
producing it, and who the magician is. Now you're not being
cooperative,' he complained. We like for people to be cooperative. You never
can tell what bad luck you may run into not cooperating.' Who d'you mean by we, I
snapped, dropping all pretence of politeness, and what do you mean by bad
luck?' 'Now we're getting somewhere,'
he said with a nasty grin, and settled himself on the edge of the counter so
that he breathed into my face He was short and swarthy - Sicilian, I judged and
dressed in a suit that was overtailered. His clothes and haberdashery matched
perfectly in a color scheme that I didn't like. 'I'll tell you what I mean
by "we"; I'm a field representative for an organization that protects
people. from bad luck - if they're smart, and cooperative. That's why I asked
you whose charms you're usin'. Some of the magicians around here aren't
cooperative; it spoils their luck, and that bad luck follows their products. 'Go on.' I said. I wanted him to
commit himself as far as he would. I knew you were smart,' he
answered. F'rinstance - how would you like for a salamander to get loose in
your shop, setting fire to your goods and maybe scaring your customers? Or you
sell the materials to build a house, and it turns out there's a Poltergeist living
in it, breaking the dishes and souring the milk and kicking the furniture
around. That's what can come of dealing with the wrong magicians. A little of
that and your business is ruined. We wouldn't want that to happen, would
we?' He favoured me with another leer. I said nothing; he went on, Now,
we maintain a staff of the finest demonologists in the business, expert
magicians themselves, who can report on how a magician conducts himself in the
Half World, and whether or not he's likely to bring his clients bad luck. Then
we advise our clients whom to deal with, and keep them from having bad luck.
See?' I saw all right. I wasn't born
yesterday. The magicians I dealt with were local men that I had known for
years, men with established reputations both here and in the Half World. They
didn't do anything to stir up the elementals against them, and they did not
have bad luck. What this slimy item meant was
that I should deal only with the magicians they selected at whatever fees they
chose to set, and they would take a cut on the fees and also on the profits of
my business. If I didn't choose to cooperate', I'd be persecuted by elementals
they had an arrangement with - renegades, probably, with human vices - my stock
in trade spoiled and my customers frightened away. If I still held out, I could
expect some really dangerous black magic that would injure or kill me. All this
under the pretence of selling me protection from men I knew and liked. A neat racket! I had heard of something of the
sort back East, but had not expected it in a city as small as ours. He sat
there, smirking at me, waiting for my reply, and twisting his neck in his
collar, which was too tight. That caused me to notice something. In spite of
his foppish clothes a thread showed on his neck just above the collar in back.
It seemed likely that it was there to support something next to his skin - an
amulet. If so, he was superstitious, even in this day and age. There's something you've
omitted,' I told him. I'm a seventh son, born under a caul, and I've got second
sight. My luck's all right, but I can see bad luck hovering over you like
cypress over a grave!' I reached out and snatched at the thread. It snapped and
came loose in my hand. There was an amulet on it, right enough, an unsavoury
little wad of nothing in particular and about as appetizing as the bottom of a
bird cage. I dropped it on the floor and ground it into the dirt. He had jumped off the counter
and stood facing me, breathing hard. A knife showed up in his right hand; with
his left hand he was warding off the evil eye, the first and little fingers
pointed at me, making the horns of Asmodeus. I knew I had him - for the time
being. Here's some magic you may not
have heard of,' I rapped out, and reached into a drawer behind the counter. I
hauled Out a pistol and pointed it at his face. Cold iron! Now go back to your
owner and tell him there's cold iron waiting for him, too - both ways!' He backed away, never taking his
eyes off my face. If looks could kill, and so forth. At the door he paused and
spat on the doorsill, then got out of sight very quickly. I put the gun away and went
about my work, waiting on two customers who came in just as Mr Nasty Business
left. But I will admit that I was worried. A man's reputation is his most
valuable asset. I've built up a name, while still a young man, for dependable
products. It was certain that this bird and his pals would do all they could to
destroy that name - which might be plenty if they were hooked in with black
magicians! Of course the building-materials
game does not involve as much magic as other lines dealing in less durable
goods. People like to know, when they are building a home, that the bed won't
fall into the basement some night, or the roof disappear and leave them out in
the rain. Besides, building involves quite
a lot of iron, and there are very few commercial sorcerers who can cope with
cold iron. The few that can are so expensive it isn't economical to use them in
building. Of course if one of the cafй-society crowd, or somebody like that,
wants to boast that they have a summerhouse or a swimming pool built entirely
by magic, I'll accept the contract, charging accordingly, and sublet it to one
of the expensive, first-line magicians. But by and large my business uses magic
only in the side issues - perishable items and doodads which people like to buy
cheap and change from time to time. So I was not worried about magic
in my business, but about what magic could do to my business - if
someone set out deliberately to do me mischief. I had the subject of magic on
my mind, anyhow, because of an earlier call from a chap named Ditworth - not a
matter of vicious threats, just a business proposition that I was undecided
about. But it worried me, just the same, I closed up a few minutes early
and went over to see Jedson - a friend of mine in the cloak-and-suit business.
He is considerably older than I am, and quite a student, without holding a
degree, in all forms of witchcraft, white and black magic, necrology,
demonology, spells, charms, and the more practical forms of divination. Besides
that, Jedson is a shrewd, capable man in every way, with a long head on him. I
set a lot of store by his advice. I expected to find him in his
office, and more or less free, at that hour, but he wasn't. His office boy
directed me up to a room he used for sales conferences. I knocked and then
pushed the door. Hello, Archie,' he called out as
soon as he saw who it was. Come on in. I've got something.' And he turned away.
I came in and looked around.
Besides Joe Jedson there was a handsome, husky woman about thirty years old in
a nurse's uniform, and a fellow named August Welker, Jedson's foreman. He was a
handy all-around man with a magician's licence, third class. Then I noticed a
fat little guy, Zadkiel Feldstein, who was agent for a good many of the
second-rate magicians along the street, and some few of the first-raters.
Naturally, his religion prevented him from practicing magic himself, but, as I
understand it, there was no theological objection to his turning an honest
commission. I had had dealings with him; he was all right. This ten-percenter was clutching
a cigar that had gone out, and watching intently Jedson and another party, who
was slumped in a chair. This other party was a girl, not
over twenty-five, maybe not that old. She was blonde, and thin to the point
that you felt that light would shine through her. She had big, sensitive hands
with long fingers, and a big, tragic mouth. Her hair was silver-white, but she
was not an albino. She lay back in the chair, awake but apparently done in. The
nurse was chafing her wrists. What's up?' I asked. The kid
faint?' Oh no,' Jedson assured me,
turning around. She's a white witch - works in a trance. She's a little tired
now, that's all.' What's her specialty?' I inquired.
Whole garments.' Huh?' I had a right to be
surprised. It's one thing to create yard goods; another thing entirely to turn
out a dress, or a suit, all finished and ready to wear. Jedson produced and
merchandised a full line of garments in which magic was used throughout. They
were mostly sportswear, novelty goods, ladies' fashions, and the like, in which
style, rather than wearing qualities, was the determining factor. Usually they
were marked One Season Only', but they were perfectly satisfactory for that one
season, being backed up by the consumers' groups. But they were not turned out in
one process. The yard goods involved were made first, usually by Welker. Dyes
and designs were added separately. Jedson had some very good connexions among
the Little People, and could obtain shades and patterns from the Half World
that were exclusive with him. He used both the old methods and magic in
assembling garments, and employed some of the most talented artists in the
business. Several of his dress designers free-lanced their magic in Hollywood
under an arrangement with him. All he asked for was screen credit.
But to get back to the blonde girl- That's what I said,' Jedson answered, whole
garments, with good wearing qualities too. There's no doubt that she is the
real McCoy; she was under contract to a textile factory in Jersey City. But I'd
give a thousand dollars to see her do that whole-garment stunt of hers just
once. We haven't had any luck, though I've tried everything but red-hot
pincers.' The kid looked alarmed at this,
and the nurse looked indignant. Feldstein started to expostulate, but Jedson
cut him short. That was just a figure of speech; you know I don't hold with
black magic. Look, darling,' he went on, turning back to the girl, do you feel
like trying again?' She nodded, and he added, All right - sleepy time now!' And she tried again, going into
her act with a minimum of groaning and spitting. The ectoplasm came out freely
and, sure enough, it formed into a complete dress instead of yard goods. It was
a neat- little dinner frock, about a size sixteen, sky blue in a watered silk.
It had class in a refined way, and I knew that any jobber who saw it would be
good for a sizeable order. Jedson grabbed it, cut off a
swatch of cloth and applied his usual tests, finishing by taking the swatch out
of the microscope and touching a match to it. He swore. Damn it,' he said,
there's no doubt about it. It's not a new integration at all; she's just
reanimated an old rag!' Come again,' I said. What of
it?' huh? Archie, you really ought to
study up a bit. What she just did isn't really creative magic at all. This
dress' - he picked it up and shook it - had a real existence someplace at some
time. She's gotten hold of a piece of it, a scrap or maybe just a button, and
applied the laws of homeopathy and contiguity to produce a simulacrum of it.' I understood him, for I had used
it in my own business. I had once had a section of bleachers, suitable for
parades and athletic events, built on my own grounds by old methods, using
skilled master mechanics and the best materials - no iron, of course. Then I
cut it to pieces. Under the law of contiguity, each piece remained part of the
structure it had once been in. Under the law of homeopathy, each piece was
potentially the entire structure. I would contract to handle a Fourth of July
crowd, or the spectators for a circus parade, and send out a couple of
magicians armed with as many fragments of the original stands as we needed
sections of bleachers. They .would bind a spell to last twenty-four hours
around each piece. That way the stands cleared themselves away automatically. I had had only one mishap with
it; an apprentice magician, who had the chore of being on hand as each section
vanished and salvaging the animated fragment for further use, happened one day
to pick up the wrong piece of wood from where one section had stood. The next
time we used it, for the Shrine convention, we found we had thrown up a
brand-new four- room bungalow at the corner of Fourteenth and Vine instead of a
section of bleachers. It could have been embarrassing, but I stuck a sign on it
MODEL HOME NOW ON DISPLAY and ran up another section on
the end. An out-of-town concern tried to
chisel me out of the business one season, but one of their units fell, either
through faulty workmanship on the pattern or because of unskilled magic, and
injured several people. Since then I've had the field pretty much to myself. I could not understand Joe
Jedson's objection to reanimation. What difference does it make?' I persisted.
It's a dress, isn't it?' Sure, it's a dress, hut it's not
a new one. That style is registered somewhere and doesn't belong to me. And
even if it were one of my numbers she had used, reanimation isn't what I'm
after. I can make better merchandise cheaper without it; otherwise I'd be using
it now.' The blonde girl came to, saw the
dress, and said, Oh, Mr Jedson, did I do it?' He explained what had happened.
Her face fell, and the dress melted away at once. Don't you feel bad about it,
kid,' he added, patting her on the shoulder, you were tired. We'll try again
tomorrow. I know you can do it when you're not nervous and overwrought.' She thanked him and left with
the nurse. Feldstein was full of explanations, but Jedson told him to forget
it, and to have them all back there at the same time tomorrow. When we were
alone I told him what had happened to me. He listened in silence, his face
serious, except when I told him how I had kidded my visitor into thinking I had
second sight. That seemed to amuse him. You may wish that you really had
it - second sight, I mean,' he said at last, becoming solemn again. This is an
unpleasant prospect. Have you notified the Better Business Bureau?' I told him I hadn't. Very well then. I'll give them a
ring and the Chamber of Commerce too. They probably can't help much, but they
are entitled to notification, so they can be on the lookout for it.' I asked him if he thought I
ought to notify the police. He shook his head. Not just yet. Nothing illegal
has been done, and, anyhow, all the chief could think of to cope with the
situation would be to haul in all the licensed magicians in town and sweat
them. That wouldn't do any good, and would just cause hard feeling to be
directed against you by the legitimate members of the profession. There isn't a
chance in ten that the sorcerers connected with this outfit are licensed to
perform magic; they are almost sure to be clandestine. If the police know about
them, it's because they are protected. If they don't know about them, then they
probably can't help you.' What do you think I ought to
do?' Nothing just yet. Go home and
sleep on it. This Charlie may be playing a lone hand, making small-time
shakedowns purely on bluff. I don't really think so; his type sounds like a
mobster. But we need more data; we can't do anything until they expose their
hand a little more.' We did not have long to wait.
When I got down to my place of business the next morning I found a surprise
waiting for me - several of them, all unpleasant. It was as if it had been
ransacked by burglars, set fire to, then gutted by a flood. I called up Jedson
at once. He came right over. He didn't have anything to say at first, but went
poking through the ruins, examining a number of things. He stopped at the point
where the hardware storeroom had stood, reached down and gathered up a handful
of the wet ashes and muck. Notice anything?' he asked, working his fingers so
that the debris sloughed off and left in his hand some small metal objects -
nails, screws, and the like. Nothing in particular. This is
where the hardware bins were located; that's some of the stuff that didn't
burn.' Yes, I know,' he said
impatiently, but don't you see anything else? Didn't you stock a lot of brass
fittings?' Yes.' Well, find one!' I poked around with my toe in a
spot where there should have been a lot of brass hinges and drawer pulls mixed
in with the ashes. I did not find anything but the nails that had held the bins
together. I oriented myself by such landmarks as I could find, and tried again.
There were plenty of nuts and bolts, casement hooks, and similar junk, but no
brass. Jedson watched me with a
sardonic grin on his face. Well?' I said, somewhat annoyed
at his manner. Don't you see?' he answered.
It's magic, all right. In this entire yard there is not one scrap of metal
left, except cold iron!' It was plain enough. I should
have seen it myself. He messed around awhile longer.
Presently we came across an odd thing. It was a slimy, wet track that meandered
through my property, and disappeared down one of the drains. It looked as if a
giant slug, about the size of a Crosley car, had wandered through the place. Undine,' Jedson announced, and wrinkled
his nose at the smell. I once saw a movie, a Megapix super production called
the Water King's Daughter. According to it undines were luscious enough
to have interested Earl Carroll, but if they left trails like that I wanted
none of them. He took out his handkerchief and
spread it for a clean place to sit down on what had been sacks of cement - a
fancy, quick- setting variety, with a trade name of Hydrolith. I had been
getting eighty cents a sack for the stuff; now it was just so many big
boulders. He ticked the situation off on
his fingers. Archie, you've been kicked in the teeth by at least three of the
four different types of elementals - earth, fire, and water. Maybe there was a
sylph of the air in on it, too, but I can't prove it. First the gnomes came and
cleaned out everything you had that came out of the ground, except cold iron. A
salamander followed them and set fire to the place, burning everything that was
burnable, and scorching and smoke-damaging the rest. Then the undine turned the
place into a damned swamp, ruining anything that wouldn't burn, like cement and
lime. You're insured?' Naturally.' But then I starred
to think. I carried the usual fire, theft, and flood insurance, but
business-risk insurance comes pretty high; I was not covered against the
business I would lose in the meantime, nor did I have any way to complete
current contracts. It was going to cost me quite a lot to cover those
contracts; if I let them slide it would ruin the good will of my business, and
lay me open to suits for damage. The situation was worse than I
had thought, and looked worse still the more I thought about it. Naturally I
could not accept any new business until the mess was cleaned up, the place
rebuilt, and new stock put in. Luckily most of my papers were in a fireproof
steel safe; but not all, by any means. There would be accounts receivable that
I would never collect because I had nothing to show for them. I work on a slim
margin of profit, with all of my capital at work. It began to look as if the
firm of Archibald Fraser, Merchant and Contractor, would go into involuntary
bankruptcy. I explained the situation to
Jedson. Don't get your wind up too
fast,' he reassured me. What magic can do, magic can undo. What we need is the
best wizard in town.' Who's going to pay the fee?' I
objected. Those boys don't work for nickels, and I'm cleaned out.' Take it easy, son,' he advised,
the insurance outfit that carries your risks is due to take a bigger loss than
you are. If we can show them a way to save money on this, we can do business.
Who represents them here?' I told him - a firm of lawyers
downtown in the Professional Building. I got hold of my office girl and
told her to telephone such of our customers as were due for deliveries that
day. She was to stall where possible and pass on the business that could not
wait to a firm that I had exchanged favours with in the past. I sent the rest
of my help home - they had been standing around since eight o'clock, making
useless remarks and getting in the way - and told them not to come back until I
sent for them. Luckily it was Saturday; we had the best part of forty- eight
hours to figure out some answer. We flagged a magic carpet that
was cruising past and headed for the Professional Building. I settled back and
determined to enjoy the ride and forget my troubles. I like taxicabs - they
give me a feeling of luxury - and I've liked them even better since they took
the wheels off them. This happened to be one of the new Cadillacs with the
teardrop shape and air cushions. We went scooting down the boulevard, silent as
thought, not six inches off the ground. Perhaps I should explain that we
have a local city ordinance against apportation unless it conforms to traffic
regulations - ground traffic, I mean, not air. That may surprise you, but it
came about as a result of a mishap to a man in my own line of business. He had
an order for eleven-odd tons of glass brick to be delivered to a restaurant
being remodeled on the other side of town from his yard. He employed a magician
with a common carrier's licence to deliver for him. I don't know whether he was
careless or just plain stupid, but he dropped those eleven tons of brick
through the roof of the Prospect Boulevard Baptist Church. Anybody knows that
magic won't work over consecrated ground; if he had consulted a map he would
have seen that the straight-line route took his load over the church. Anyhow,
the janitor was killed, and it might just as well have been the whole
congregation. It caused such a commotion that apportation was limited to the
streets, near the ground. It's people like that who make
it inconvenient for everybody else. Our man was in - Mr Wiggin, of
the firm of Wiggin, Snead, McClatchey & Wiggin. He had already heard about
my fire', but when Jedson explained his conviction that magic was at the bottom
of it he baulked. It was, he said, most irregular. Jedson was remarkably
patient. Are you an expert in magic, Mr
Wiggin?' he asked. I have not specialized in
thaumaturgic jurisprudence, if that is what you mean, sir.' Well, I don't hold a licence
myself, but it has been my hobby for a good many years. I'm sure of what I say
in this case; you can call in all the independent experts you wish - they'll
confirm my opinion. Now suppose we stipulate, for the sake of argument, that
this damage was caused by magic. If that is true, there is a possibility that
we may be able to save much of the loss. You have authority to settle claims,
do you not?' Well, I think I may say yes to
that - bearing in mind the legal restrictions and the terms of the contract.' I
don't believe he would have conceded that he had five fingers on his right hand
without an auditor to back him up. Then it is your business to hold
your company's losses down to a minimum. If I find a wizard who can undo a
part, or all, of the damage, will you guarantee the fee, on behalf of your
company, up to a reasonable amount, say twenty-five per cent of the indemnity?'
He hemmed and hawed some more,
and said he did not see how he could possibly do it, and that if the fire had
been magic, then to restore by magic might be compounding a felony, as we could
not be sure what the connexions of the magicians involved might be in the Half
World. Besides that, my claim had not been allowed as yet; I had failed to
notify the company of my visitor of the day before, which possibly might
prejudice my claim. In any case, it was a very serious precedent to set; he
must consult the home office. Jedson stood up. I can see that
we are simply wasting each other's time, Mr Wiggin. Your contention about Mr
Fraser's possible responsibility is ridiculous, and you know it. There is no
reason under the contract to notify you, and even if there were, he is within
the twenty-four hours allowed for any notification. I think it best that we
consult the home office ourselves.' He reached for his hat. Wiggin put up his hand.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, please! Let's not be hasty. Will Mr Fraser agree to pay
half of the fee?' No. Why should he? It's your
loss, not his. You insured him. Wiggin tapped his teeth with his
spectacles, then said, We must make the fee contingent on results.' Did you ever hear of anyone in
his right mind dealing with a wizard on any other basis?' Twenty minutes later we walked
out with a document which enabled us to hire any witch or wizard to salvage my
place of business on a contingent fee not to exceed twenty-five per cent of the
value reclaimed. I thought you were going to throw up the whole matter,' I told
Jedson with a sigh of relief. He grinned. Not in the wide
world, old son. He was simply trying to horse you into paying the cost of
saving them some money. I just let him know that I knew.' It took some time to decide whom
to consult. Jedson admitted frankly that he did not know of a man nearer than
New York who could, with certainty, be trusted to do the job, and that was out
of the question for the fee involved. We stopped in a bar, and he did some
telephoning while I had a beer. Presently he came back and said, I think I've
got the man. I've never done business with him before, but he has the
reputation and the training, and everybody I talked to seemed to think that he
was the one to see.' Who is it?' I wanted to know. Dr Fortescue Biddle. He's just
down the street - the Railway Exchange Building. Come on, we'll walk it.' I gulped down the rest of my
beer and followed him. Dr Biddle's place was
impressive. He had a corner suite on the fourteenth floor, and he had not
spared expense in furnishing and decorating it. The style was modern; it had
the austere elegance of a society physician's layout. There was a frieze around
the wall of the signs of the zodiac done in intaglio glass, backed up by aluminum.
That was the only decoration of any sort, the rest of the furnishing being very
plain, but rich, with lots of plate glass and chromium. We had to wait about thirty
minutes in the outer office; I spent the time trying to estimate what I could
have done the suite for, subletting what I had to and allowing ten per cent.
Then a really beautiful girl with a hushed voice ushered us in. We found
ourselves in another smaller room, alone, and had to wait about ten minutes
more. It was much like the waiting room, but had some glass bookcases and an
old print of Aristotle. I looked at the bookcases with Jedson to kill time.
They were filled with a lot of rare old classics on magic. Jedson had just
pointed out the Red Grimoire when we heard a voice behind us. Amusing, aren't they? The
ancients knew a surprising amount. Not scientific, of course, but remarkably
clever-' The voice trailed off. We turned around; he introduced him- sell as Dr
Biddle. He was a nice enough looking
chap, really handsome in a spare, dignified fashion. He was about ten years
older than I am - fortyish, maybe - with iron-grey hair at the temples and a
small, stiff, British major's moustache. His clothes could have been out of the
style pages of Esquire. There was no reason for me not to like him; his
manners were pleasant enough. Maybe it was the supercilious twist of his expression.
He led us into his private
office, sat us down, and offered us cigarettes before business was mentioned.
He opened up with, You're Jedson, of course. I suppose Mr Ditworth sent you?' I cocked an ear at him; the name
was familiar. But Jedson simply answered, Why, no. Why would you think that he
had?' Biddle hesitated for a moment,
then said, half to himself, That's strange. I was certain that I had heard him
mention your name. Do either one of you,' he added, know Mr Ditworth?' We both nodded at once and
surprised each other, Biddle seemed relieved and said, No doubt that accounts
for it. Still - I need some more information. Will you gentlemen excuse me
while I call him?' With that he vanished. I had
never seen it done before. Jedson says there are two ways to do it, one is
hallucination, the other is an actual exit through the Half World. Whichever
way it's done, I think it's bad manners. About this chap Ditworth,' I
started to say to Jedson. I had intended to ask you-' Let it wait,' he cut me off,
there's not time now.' At this Biddle reappeared. It's
all right,' he announced, speaking directly to me. I can take your case. I
suppose you've come about the trouble you had last night with your
establishment?' Yes,' I agreed. How did you
know?' Methods,' he replied, with a
deprecatory little smile. My profession has its means. Now, about your problem.
What is it you desire?' I looked at Jedson; he explained
what he thought had taken place and why he thought so. Now I don't know whether
you specialize in demonology or not,' he concluded, but it seems to me that it
should be possible to evoke the powers responsible and force them to repair the
damage. If you can do it, we are prepared to pay any reasonable fee.' Biddle smiled at this and
glanced rather self-consciously at the assortment of diplomas hanging on the
walls of his office. I feel that there should be reason to reassure you,' he
purred. Permit me to look over the ground-' And he was gone again. I was beginning to be annoyed.
It's all very well for a man to be good at his job, but there is no reason to
make a side show out of it. But I didn't have time to grouse about it before he
was back. Examination seems to confirm Mr
Jedson's opinion; there should be no unusual difficulties,' he said. Now as to
the . ah . . . business arrangements-'
He coughed politely and gave a little smile, as if he regretted having to deal
with such vulgar matters. Why do some people act as if
making money offended their delicate minds? I am out for a legitimate profit,
and not ashamed of it; the fact that people will pay money for my goods and
services shows that my work is useful. However, we made a deal without
much trouble, then Biddle told us to meet him at my place in about fifteen
minutes. Jedson and I left the building and flagged another cab. Once inside I
asked him about Ditworth. Where'd you run across him?' I
said. Came to me with a proposition. Hm-m-m-' This interested me;
Ditworth had made me a proposition, too, and it had worried me. What kind of a
proposition?' Jedson screwed up his forehead.
Well, that's hard to say - there was so much impressive sales talk along with
it. Briefly, he said he was the local executive secretary of a nonprofit
association which had as its purpose the improvement of standards of practising
magicians.' I nodded. It was the same story
I had heard. Go ahead.' He dwelt on the inadequacy of
the present licensing laws and pointed out that anyone could pass the
examinations and hang out his shingle after a couple of weeks' study of a grimoire
or black book without any fundamental knowledge of the arcane laws at all.
His organization would be a sort of bureau of standards to improve that, like
the American Medical Association, or the National Conference of Universities
and Colleges, or the Bar Association. If I signed an agreement to patronize
only those wizards who complied with their requirements. I could display their
certificate of quality and put their seal of approval on my goods.' Joe, I've heard the same story.'
I cut in. and I didn't know quite what to make of it. It sounds all right, but
I wouldn't want to stop doing business with men who have given me good value in
the past, and I've no way of knowing that the association would approve them.' What answer did you give him?' I stalled him a bit - told him
that I couldn't sign anything as binding as that without discussing it with my
attorney.' Good boy! What did he say to
that?' Well, he was really quite decent
about it, and honestly seemed to want to be helpful. Said he thought I was wise
and left me some stuff to look over. Do you know anything about him? Is he a
wizard himself?' No, he's not. But I did find out
some things about him. I knew vaguely that he was something in the Chamber of
Commerce; what I didn't know is that he is on the board of a dozen or more
blue-ribbon corporations. He's a lawyer, but not in practice. Seems to spend
all his time on his business interests. He sounds like a responsible
man.' I would say so. He seems to have
had considerably less publicity than you would expect of a man of his business
importance - probably a retiring sort. I ran across something that seemed to
confirm that.' What was it?' I asked. I looked up the incorporation
papers for his association on file with the Secretary of State. There were just
three names, his own and two others. I found that both of the others were
employed in his office - his secretary and his receptionist. Dummy setup?' Undoubtedly. But there is
nothing unusual about that. What interested me was this: I recognized one of
the names.' Huh?' You know, I'm on the auditing
committee for the state committee of my party. I looked up the name of his
secretary where I thought I had seen it. It was there all right. His secretary,
a chap by the name of Mathias, was down for a whopping big contribution to the
governor's personal campaign fund.' We did not have any more time to
talk just then, as the cab had pulled up at my place. Dr Biddle was there
before us and had already started his preparations. He had set up a little
crystal pavilion, about ten feet square, to work in. The entire lot was blocked
off from spectators on the front by an impalpable screen. Jedson warned me not
to touch it. I must say he worked without any
of the usual hocus-pocus. He simply greeted us and entered the pavilion, where
he sat down on a chair and took a loose-leaf notebook from a pocket and
commenced to read. Jedson says he used several pieces of paraphernalia too. If
so, I didn't see them. He worked with his clothes on. Nothing happened for a few
minutes. Gradually the walls of the shed became cloudy, so that everything
inside was indistinct. It was about then that I became aware that there was
something else in the pavilion besides Biddle. I could not see clearly what it
was, and, to tell the truth, I didn't want to. We could not hear anything that
was said on the inside, but there was an argument going on - that was evident.
Biddle stood up and began sawing the air with his hands. The thing threw back
its head and laughed. At that Biddle threw a worried look in our direction and
made a quick gesture with his right hand. The walls of the pavilion became
opaque at once and we didn't see any more. About five minutes later Biddle
walked out of his workroom, which promptly disappeared behind him. He was a
sight -, his hair all mussed, sweat dripping from his face, and his collar
wrinkled and limp. Worse than that, his aplomb was shaken. Well?' said Jedson. There is nothing to be done
about it, Mr Jedson - nothing at all.' Nothing you can do about it,
eh?' He stiffened a bit at this.
Nothing anyone can do about it, gentlemen. Give it up. Forget about it.
That is my advice.' Jedson said nothing, just looked
at him speculatively. I kept quiet. Biddle was beginning to regain his
self-possession. He straightened his hat, adjusted his necktie, and added, I
must return to my office. The survey fee will be five hundred dollars. I was stonkered speechless at
the barefaced gall of the man, but Jedson acted as if he hadn't understood him.
No doubt it would be,' he observed. Too bad you didn't earn it. I'm sorry. Biddle turned red, but preserved
his urbanity. Apparently you misunderstand me, sir. Under the agreement I have
signed with Mr Ditworth, thaumaturgists approved by the association are not
permitted to offer free consultation. It lowers the standards of the
profession. The fee I mentioned is the minimum fee for a magician of my
classification, irrespective of services rendered.' I see,' Jedson answered calmly;
that's what it costs to step inside your office. But you didn't tell us that,
so it doesn't apply. As for Mr Ditworth, an agreement you sign with him does
not bind us in any way. I advise you to return to your office and reread our
contract. We owe you nothing.' I thought this time that Biddle
would lose his temper, but all he answered was, I shan't bandy words with you.
You will hear from me later.' He vanished then without so much as a
by-your-leave. I heard a snicker behind me and
whirled around, ready to bite somebody's head off. I had had an upsetting day
and didn't like to be laughed at behind my back. There was a young chap there,
about my own age. Who are you, and what are you laughing at?' I snapped. This
is private property.' Sorry, bud,' he apologized with
a disarming grin. I wasn't laughing at you; I was laughing at the stuffed
shirt. Your friend ticked him off properly.' What are you doing here?' asked
Jedson. Me? I guess I owe you an
explanation. You see, I'm in the business myself-' Building?' No - magic. Here's my card.' He
handed it to Jedson, who glanced at it and passed it onto me. It read: JACK BODIE LICENSED MAGICIAN, 1ST CLASS TELEPHONE CREST 3840 You see, I heard a rumour in the
Half World that one of the big shots was going to do a hard one here today. I
just stopped in to see the fun. But how did you happen to pick a false alarm
like Biddle? He's not up to this sort of thing.' Jedson reached over and took the
card back. Where did you take your training, Mr Bodie?' Huh? I took my bachelor's degree
at Harvard and finished up postgraduate at Chicago. But that's not important;
my old man taught me everything I know, but he insisted on my going to college
because he said a magician can't get a decent job these days without a degree.
He was right.'
Do you think you could handle this job?' I asked. Probably not, but I wouldn't
have made the fool of myself that Biddle did. Look here - you want to find
somebody who can do this job?'
Naturally,' I said. What do you think we're here for?'
Well, you've gone about it the wrong way. Biddle's got a reputation simply
because he's studied at Heidelberg and Vienna. That doesn't mean a thing. I'll
bet it never occurred to you to look up an old-style witch for the job.'
Jedson answered this one. That's not quite true. I inquired around among my
friends in the business, but didn't find anyone who was willing to take it on.
But I'm willing to learn; whom do you suggest?'
Do you know Mrs Amanda Todd Jennings? Lives over in the old part of town,
beyond the Congregational cemetery.'
Jennings ... Jennings. Hm-m-m - no, can't say that I do. Wait a minute! Is she
the old girl they call Granny Jennings? Wears Queen Mary hats and does her own
marketing?'
That's the one.'
But she's not a witch; she's a fortune-teller.'
That's what you think. She's not in regular commercial practice, it's true,
being ninety years older than Santa Claus, and feeble to boot. But she's got
more magic in her little finger than you'll find in Solomon's Book.'
Jedson looked at me. I nodded, and he said:
Do you think you could get her to attempt this case?'
Well, I think she might do it, if she liked you.'
What arrangement do you want?' I asked. Is ten per cent satisfactory?'
He seemed rather put out at this. Hell,' he said, I couldn't take a cut; she's
been good to me all my life.'
If the tip is good, it's worth paying for.' I insisted. Oh, forget it. Maybe
you boys will have some work in my line someday. That's enough.'
Pretty soon we were off again, without Bodie. He was tied up elsewhere, but promised
to let Mrs Jennings know that we were coming. The place wasn't too hard to
find. It was on an old street, arched over with elms, and the house was a
one-storey cottage, set well back. The veranda had a lot of that old scroll-saw
gingerbread. The yard was not very well taken care of, but there was a lovely
old climbing rose arched over the steps. Jedson gave a twist to the hand
bell set in the door, and we waited for several minutes. I studied the
coloured-glass tri- angles set in the door's side panels and wondered if there
was anyone left who could do that sort of work. Then she let us in. She really
was something incredible. She was so tiny that I found myself staring down at
the crown of her head, and noting that the clean pink scalp showed plainly
through the scant, neat threads of hair. She couldn't have weighed seventy
pounds dressed for the street, but stood proudly erect in lavender alpaca and
white collar, and sized us up with lively black eyes that would have fitted
Catherine the Great or Calamity Jane. Good morning to you,' she said.
Come in.' She led us through a little
hall, between beaded portieres, said, Scat, Seraphin!' to a cat on a chair, and
sat us down in her parlour. The cat jumped down, walked away with an un- hurried
dignity, then sat down, tucked his tail neatly around his carefully placed
feet, and stared at us with the same calm appraisal as his mistress. My boy Jack told me that you
were coming,' she began. You are Mr Fraser and you are Mr Jedson,' getting us
sorted out correctly. It was not a question; it was a statement. You want your
futures read, I suppose. What method do you prefer - your palms, the stars, the
sticks?' I was about to correct her
misapprehension when Jedson cut in ahead of me. I think we'd best leave the
method up to you, Mrs Jennings.' All right, we'll make it tea
leaves then. I'll put the kettle on; twon't take a minute.' She bustled out. We
could hear her in the kitchen, her light footsteps clicking on the linoleum,
utensils scraping and clattering in a busy, pleasant disharmony. When she returned I said, I hope
we aren't putting you out, Mrs Jennings.' Not a bit of it,' she assured
me. I like a cup of tea in the morning; it does a body comfort. I just had to
set a love philter off the fire.- that's what took me so long.' I'm sorry-' Twon't hurt it to wait.' The Zekerboni formula?' Jedson
inquired. My goodness gracious, no!' She
was plainly upset by the suggestion. I wouldn't kill all those harmless little
creatures. Hares and swallows and doves - the very idea! I don't know what
Pierre Mora was thinking about when he set that recipe down. I'd like to box
his cars! No, I use Emula campana, orange,
and ambergris. It's just as effective.' Jedson then asked if she had
ever tried the juice of vervain. She looked closely into his face before
replying, You have the sight yourself, son. Am I not right?' A little, mother,' he answered
soberly, a little, perhaps.' It will grow. Mind how you use
it. As for vervain, it is efficacious, as you know.' Wouldn't it be simpler?' Of course it would. But if that
easy a method became generally known, anyone and everyone would be making it
and using it promiscuously - a bad thing. And witches would starve for want of
clients - perhaps a good thing!' She flicked up one white eyebrow. But if it is
simplicity you want, there is no need to bother even with vervain. Here-' She
reached out and touched me on the hand. "Bestarberto corrum pit viscera
e)us virilis. ' That is as near as I can reproduce her words. I may have
misquoted it. But I had no time to think about
the formula she had pronounced. I was fully occupied with the startling thing
that had come over me. I was in love, ecstatically, deliciously in love - with
Granny Jennings! I don't mean that she suddenly looked like a beautiful young
girl - she didn't. I still saw her as a little, old, shrivelled-up woman with
the face of a shrewd monkey, and ancient enough to be my great-grandmother. It
didn't matter. She was she - the Helen that all men desire, the object of
romantic adoration. She smiled into my face with a
smile that was warm and full of affectionate understanding. Everything was all
right, and I was perfectly happy. Then she said, I would not mock you, boy,' in
a gentle voice, and touched my hand a second time while whispering something
else. At once it was all gone. She was
just any nice old woman, the sort that would bake a cake for a grandson or sit
up with a sick neighbour. Nothing was changed, and the cat had not even
blinked. The romantic fascination was an emotionless memory. But I was poorer
for the difference. The kettle was boiling. She
trotted out to attend to it, and returned shortly with a tray of things, a
plate of seed cake, and thin slices of homemade bread spread with sweet butter.
When we had drunk a cup apiece
with proper ceremony, she took Jedson's cup from him and examined the dregs.
Not much money there,' she announced, but you shan't need much; it's a fine
full life.' She touched the little pool of tea with the tip of her spoon and
sent tiny ripples across it. Yes, you have the sight, and the need for
understanding that should go with it, but I find you in business instead of
pursuing the great art, or even the lesser arts. Why is that?' Jedson shrugged his shoulders
and answered half apologetically, There is work at hand that needs to be done.
I do it. She nodded. That is well. There
is understanding to be gained in any job, and you will gain it. There is no
hurry; time is long. When your own work comes you will know it and be ready for
it. Let me see your cup,' she finished, turning to me. I handed it to her. She studied
it for a moment and said, Well, you have not the clear sight such as your
friend has, but you have the insight you need for your proper work. Any more
would make you dissatisfied, for I see money here. You will make much money,
Archie Fraser.' Do you see any immediate setback
in my business?' I said quickly. No. See for yourself.' She
motioned towards the cup. I leaned forward and stared at it. For a matter of
seconds it seemed as if I looked through the surface of the dregs into a living
scene beyond. I recognized it readily enough. It was my own place of business,
even to the scars on the driveway gate- posts where clumsy truck drivers had clipped
the corner too closely. But there was a new annex wing
on the east side of the lot, and there were two beautiful new five-ton dump
trucks drawn up in the yard with my name painted on them! While I watched I saw myself
step out of the office door and go walking down the street. I was wearing a new
hat, but the suit was the one I was wearing in Mrs Jennings's parlour, and so
was the necktie - a plaid one from the tartan of my clan. I reached up and
touched the original. Mrs Jennings said, That will do
for now,' and I found myself staring at the bottom of the teacup. You have
seen,' she went on, your business need not worry you. As for love and marriage
and children, sickness and health and death - let us look.' She touched the
surface of the dregs with a fingertip; the tea leaves moved gently. She
regarded them closely for a moment. Her brow puckered; she started to speak,
apparently thought better of it, and looked again. Finally she said, I do not
fully understand this. It is not clear; my own shadow falls across it. Perhaps I can see,' offered
Jedson. Keep your peace!' She surprised
me by speaking tartly, and placed her hand over the cup. She turned back to me
with compassion in her eyes. It is not clear. You have two possible futures.
Let your head rule your heart, and do not fret your soul with that which cannot
be. Then you will marry, have children, and be content.' With that she
dismissed the matter, for she said at once to both of us, You did not come here
for divination; you came here for help of another sort.' Again it was a
statement, not a question. What sort of help, mother?'
Jedson inquired. For this.' She shoved my cup
under his nose. He looked at it and answered,
Yes, that is true. Is there help?' I looked into the cup, too, but saw nothing
but tea leaves. She answered, I think so. You
should not have employed Biddle, but the mistake was natural. Let us be going.'
Without further parley she fetched her gloves and purse and coat, perched a
ridiculous old hat on the top of her head, and bustled us out of the house.
There was no discussion of terms; it didn't seem necessary. When we got back to the lot her
workroom was already up. It was not anything fancy like Biddle's, but simply an
old, square tent, like a gypsy's pitch, with a peaked top and made in several
gaudy colours. She pushed aside the shawl that closed the door and invited us
inside. It was gloomy, but she took a
big candle, lighted it and stuck it in the middle of the floor. By its light
she inscribed five circles on the ground .- first a large one, then a somewhat
smaller one in front of it. Then she drew two others, one on each side of the
first and biggest circle. These were each big enough for a man to stand in, and
she told us to do so. Finally she made one more circle off to one side and not
more than a foot across. I've never paid much attention
to the methods of magicians, feeling about them the way Thomas Edison said he
felt about mathematicians - when he wanted one he could hire one. but Mrs Jennings
was different. I wish I could understand the things she did - and why. I know she drew a lot of
cabalistic signs in the dirt within the circles. There were pentacles of
various shapes, and some writing in what I judged to be Hebraic script, though Jedson
says not. In particular there was, I remember, a sign like a long flat Z, with
a loop in it, woven in and out of a Maltese cross. Two more candles were
lighted and placed on each side of this. Then she jammed the dagger -
arthame, Jedson called it - with which she had scribed the figures into the
ground at the top of the big circle so hard that it quivered. It continued to
vibrate the whole time. She placed a little folding
stool in the centre of the biggest circle, sat down on it, drew out a small
book, and commenced to read aloud in a voiceless whisper. I could not catch the
words, and presume I was not meant to. This went on for some time. I glanced
around and saw that the little circle off to one side was now occupied - by
Seraphin, her cat. We had left him shut up in her house. He sat quietly,
watching everything that took place with dignified interest. Presently she shut the book and
threw a pinch of powder into the flame of the largest candle. It flared up and
threw out a great puff of smoke. I am not quite sure what happened next, as the
smoke smarted my eyes and made me blink, besides which, Jedson says I don't
understand the purpose of fumigations at all. But I prefer to believe my eyes.
Either that cloud of smoke solidified into a body or it covered up an entrance,
one or the other. Standing in the middle of the
circle in front of Mrs Jennings was a short, powerful man about four feet high
or less. His shoulders were inches broader than mine, and his upper arms were
thick as my thighs, knotted and bowed with muscle. He was dressed in a
breechcloth, buskins, and a little hooded cap. His skin was hairless, but rough
and earthy in texture. It was dull, lustreless. Everything about him was the
same dull monotone, except his eyes, which shone green with repressed fury. Well!' said Mrs Jennings
crisply, you've been long enough getting here! What have you to say for
yourself?' He answered sullenly, like an
incorrigible boy caught but not repentant, in a language filled with rasping
gutturals and sibilants. She listened awhile, then cut him off. I don't care who told you to;
you'll account to me! I require this harm repaired - in less time than it takes
to tell it!' He answered back angrily, and
she dropped into his language, so that I could no longer follow the meaning.
But it was clear that I was concerned in it; he threw me several dirty looks,
and finally glared and spat in my direction. Mrs Jennings reached out and
cracked him across the mouth with the back of her hand. He looked at her, killing
in his eye, and said something. So?' she answered, put out a
hand and grabbed him by the nape of the neck and swung him across her lap, face
down. She snatched off a shoe and whacked him soundly with it. He let out one
yelp, then kept silent, but jerked every time she struck him. When she was through she stood
up, spilling him to the ground. He picked himself up and hurriedly scrambled
back into his own circle, where he stood, rubbing himself. Mrs Jennings's eyes
snapped and her voice crackled; there was nothing feeble about her now. You
gnomes are getting above yourselves,' she scolded. I never heard of such a
thing! One more slip on your part and I'll fetch your people to see you
spanked! Get along with you. Fetch your people for your task, and summon your
brother and your brother's brother. By the great Tetragrammaton, get hence to
the place appointed for you!' He was gone. Our next visitant came almost at
once. It appeared first as a tiny spark hanging in the air. It grew into a
living flame, a fireball, six inches or more across. It floated above the
centre of the second circle at the height of Mrs Jennings's eyes. It danced and
whirled and flamed, feeding on nothing. Although I had never seen one, I knew
it to be a salamander. It couldn't be anything else. Mrs Jennings watched it for a
little time before speaking. I could see that she was enjoying its dance, as I
was. It was a perfect and beautiful thing, with no fault in it. There was life
in it, a singing joy, with no concern for - with no relation to -
matters of right and wrong, or anything human. Its harmonies of colour and
curve were their own reason for being. I suppose I'm pretty
matter-of-fact. At least I've always lived by the principle of doing my job and
letting other things take care of themselves. But here was something that was
worth while in itself, no matter what harm it did by my standards. Even the cat
was purring. Mrs Jennings spoke to it in a
clear, singing soprano that had no words to it. It answered back in pure liquid
notes while the colours of its nucleus varied to suit the pitch. She turned to
me and said, It admits readily enough that it burned your place, but it was
invited to do so and is not capable of appreciating your point of view. I
dislike to compel it against its own nature. Is there any boon you can offer
it?' I thought for a moment. Tell it
that it makes me happy to watch it dance.' She sang again to it. It spun and
leaped, its flame tendrils whirling and floating in intricate, delightful
patterns. That was good, but not
sufficient. Can you think of anything else?' I thought hard. Tell it that if
it likes, I will build a fireplace in my house where it will be welcome to live
whenever it wishes.' She nodded approvingly and spoke
to it again. I could almost understand its answer, but Mrs Jennings translated.
It likes you. Will you let it approach you?' Can it hurt me?' Not here.' All right then.' She drew a T between our two
circles. It followed closely behind the arthame, like a cat at an opening door.
Then it swirled about me and touched me lightly on my hands and face. Its touch
did not burn, but tingled, rather, as if I felt its vibrations directly instead
of sensing them as heat. It flowed over my face. I was plunged into a world of
light, like the heart of the aurora borealis. I was afraid to breathe at first,
but finally had to. No harm came to me, though the tingling was increased. It's an odd thing, but I have
not had a single cold since the salamander touched me. I used to sniffle all
winter. Enough, enough,' I heard Mrs
Jennings saying. The cloud of flame withdrew from me and returned to its
circle. The musical discussion resumed, and they reached an agreement almost at
once, for Mrs Jennings nodded with satisfaction and said: Away with you then, fire child,
and return when you are needed. Get hence-' She repeated the formula she had
used on the gnome king. The undine did not show up at
once. Mrs Jennings took out her book again and read from it in a monotonous
whisper. I was beginning to be a bit sleepy - the tent was stuffy - when the
cat commenced to spit. It was glaring at the centre circle, claws out, back
arched, and tail made big. There was a shapeless something
in that circle, a thing that dripped and spread its slimy moisture to the limit
of the magic ring. It stank of fish and kelp and iodine, and shone with a wet
phosphorescence. You're late,' said Mrs Jennings.
You got my message; why did you wait until I compelled you?' It heaved with a sticky, sucking
sound, but made no answer. Very well,' she said firmly, I
shan't argue with you. You know what I want. You will do it!' She stood up and
grasped the big centre candle. Its flame flared up into a torch a yard high,
and hot. She thrust it past her circle at the undine. There was a hiss, as when water
strikes hot iron, and a burbling scream. She jabbed at it again and again. At
last she stopped and stared down at it, where it lay, quivering and drawing
into itself. That will do,' she said. Next time you will heed your mistress.
Get hence!' It seemed to sink into the ground, leaving the dust dry behind it. When it was gone she motioned
for us to enter her circle, breaking our own with the dagger to permit us.
Seraphin jumped lightly from his little circle to the big one and rubbed
against her ankles, buzzing loudly. She repeated a meaningless series of
syllables and clapped her hands smartly together. There was a rushing and roaring.
The sides of the tent billowed and cracked. I heard the chuckle of water and
the crackle of flames, and, through that, the bustle of hurrying footsteps. She
looked from side to side, and wherever her gaze fell the wall of the tent
became transparent. I got hurried glimpses of unintelligible confusion. Then it all ceased with a
suddenness that was startling. The silence rang in our ears. The tent was gone;
we stood in the loading yard outside my main warehouse. It was there! It was back - back
unharmed, without a trace of damage by fire or water. I broke away and ran out
the main gate to where my business office had faced on the street. It was
there, just as it used to be, the show windows shining in the sun, the Rotary
Club emblem in one corner, and up on the roof my big two-way sign: ARCHIBALD FRASER BUILDING MATERIALS & GENERAL
CONTRACTING Jedson strolled out presently
and touched me on the arm. What are you bawling about, Archie?' I stared at him. I wasn't aware
that I had been. We were doing business as usual
on Monday morning. I thought everything was back to normal and that my troubles
were over. I was too hasty in my optimism. It was nothing you could put
your finger on at first - just the ordinary vicissitudes of business, the
little troubles that turn up in any line of work and slow up production. You
expect them and charge them off to overhead. No one of them would be worth
mentioning alone, except for one thing: they were happening too frequently. You see, in any business run
under a consistent management policy the losses due to unforeseen events should
average out in the course of a year to about the same percentage of total cost.
You allow for that in your estimates. But I started having so many small
accidents and little difficulties that my margin of profit was eaten up. One morning two of my trucks
would not start. We could not find the trouble; I had to put them in the shop
and rent a truck for the day to supplement my one remaining truck. We got our
deliveries made, but I was out the truck rent, the repair bill, and four hours'
overtime for drivers at time and a half. I had a net loss for the day. The very next day I was just
closing a deal with a man I had been trying to land for a couple of years. The
deal was not important, but it would lead to a lot more business in the future,
for he owned quite a bit of income property - some courts and an apartment
house or two, several commercial corners, and held title or options on
well-located lots all over town. He always had repair jobs to place and very
frequently new building jobs. If I satisfied him, he would be a steady customer
with prompt payment, the kind you can afford to deal with on a small margin of
profit. We were standing in the showroom
just outside my office, and talking, having about reached an agreement. There
was a display of Sunprufe paint about three feet from us, the cans stacked in a
neat pyramid. I swear that neither one of us touched it, but it came crashing
to the floor, making a din that would sour milk. That was nuisance enough, but
not the pay-off. The cover flew off one can, and my prospect was drenched with
red paint. He let out a yelp; I thought he was going to faint. I managed to get
him back into my office, where I dabbed futilely at his suit with my
handkerchief, while trying to calm him down. He was in a state, both mentally
and physically. Fraser,' he raged, you've got to fire the clerk that knocked
over those cans! Look at me! Eighty-five dollars' worth of suit ruined!' Let's not be hasty,' I said
soothingly, while holding my own temper in. I won't discharge a man to suit a
customer, and don't like to be told to do so. There wasn't anyone near those
cans but ourselves.' I suppose you think I did it?' Not at all. I know you didn't.'
I straightened up, wiped my hands, and went over to my desk and got out my
chequebook. Then you must have done it!' I don't think so,' I answered
patiently. How much did you say your suit was worth?' Why?' I want to write you a cheque for
the amount.' I was quite willing to; I did not feel to blame, but it had
happened through no fault of his in my shop. You can't get out of it as
easily as that!' he answered unreasonably. It isn't the cost of the suit I
mind-' He jammed his hat on his head and stumped out. I knew his reputation;
I'd seen the last of him. That is the sort of thing I
mean. Of course it could have been an accident caused by clumsy stacking of the
cans. But it might have been a Poltergeist. Accidents don't make
themselves. Ditworth came to see me a day or
so later about Biddle's phony bill. I had been subjected night and morning to
this continuous stream of petty annoyances, and my temper was wearing thin.
Just that day a gang of coloured bricklayers had quit one of my jobs because
some moron had scrawled some chalk marks on some of the bricks. Voodoo marks,'
they said they were, and would not touch a brick. I was in no mood to be held
up by Mr Ditworth; I guess I was pretty short with him. Good day to you, Mr Fraser,' he
said quite pleasantly, can you spare me a few minutes?' Ten minutes, perhaps,' I
conceded, glancing at my wristwatch. He settled his briefcase against
the legs of his chair and took out some papers. I'll come to the point at once
then. It's about Dr Biddle's claim against you. You and I are both fair men; I
feel sure that we can come to some equitable agreement.' Biddle has no claim against me.'
He nodded. I know just how you
feel. Certainly there is nothing in the written contract obligating you to pay
him. But there can be implied contracts just as binding as written contracts.' I don't follow you. All my
business is done in writing' Certainly,' he agreed; that's
because you are a businessman. In the professions the situation is somewhat
different. If you go to a dental surgeon and ask him to pull an aching tooth,
and he does, you are obligated to pay his fee, even though a fee has never been
mentioned-' That's true,' I interrupted, but
there is no parallel. Biddle didn't "pull the tooth .' In a way he did:' Ditworth
persisted. The claim against you is for the survey, which was a service
rendered you before this contract was written. But no mention was made of a.
service fee.' That is where the implied
obligation comes in, Mr Fraser; you told Dr Biddle that you had talked with me.
He assumed quite correctly that I had previously explained to you the standard
system of fees under the association-' But I did not join the
association!' I know, I know. And I explained
that to the other directors, but they insist that some sort of an adjustment
must be made. I don't feel myself that you are fully to blame: but you will
understand our position, I am sure. We are unable to accept you for membership
in the association until this matter is adjusted - in fairness to Dr Biddle.' What makes you think I intend to
join the association?' He looked hurt. I had not expected
you to take that attitude, Mr Fraser. The association needs men of your
calibre. But in your own interest, you will necessarily join, for presently it
will be very difficult to get efficient thaumaturgy except from members of the
association. We want to help you. Please don't make it difficult for us.' I stood up. I am afraid you had
better sue me and let a court decide the matter, Mr Ditworth. That seems to be
the only satisfactory solution.' I am sorry,' he said, shaking
his head. It will prejudice your position when you come up for membership.' Then it will just have to do
so,' I said shortly, and showed him out. After he had gone I crabbed at
my office girl for doing something I told her to do the day before, and then
had to apologize. I walked up and down a bit, stewing, although there was
plenty of work I should have been doing. I was nervous; things had begun to get
my goat - a dozen things that I haven't mentioned - and this last unreasonable
demand from Ditworth seemed to be the last touch needed to upset me completely.
Not that he could collect by suing me - that was preposterous - but it was an
annoyance just the same. They say the Chinese have a torture that consists in
letting one drop of water fall on the victim every few minutes. That's the way
I felt. Finally I called up Jedson and
asked him to go to lunch with me. I felt better after lunch.
Jedson soothed me down, as he always does, and I was able to forget and put in
the past most of the things that had been annoying me simply by telling him
about them. By the time I had had a second cup of coffee and smoked a cigarette
I was almost fit for polite society. We strolled back towards my
shop, discussing his problems for a change. It seems the blonde girl, the white
witch from Jersey City, had finally managed to make her synthesis stunt work on
footgear. But there was still a hitch; she had turned out over eight hundred
left shoes - and no right ones. We were just speculating as to
the probable causes of such a contretemps when Jedson said, Look, Archie. The candid
camera fans are beginning to take an interest in you.' I looked. There was a chap
standing at the curb directly across from my place of business and focusing a
camera on the shop. Then I looked again. Joe,' I snapped, that's the bird I
told you about, the one that came into my shop and started the trouble!' Are you sure?' he asked,
lowering his voice. Positive.' There was no doubt
about it; he was only a short distance away on the same side of the street that
we were. It was the same racketeer who had tried to blackmail me into buying
protection', the same Mediterranean look to him, the same flashy clothes. We've got to grab him,'
whispered Jedson. But I had already thought of
that. I rushed at him and had grabbed him by his coat collar and the slack of
his pants before he knew what was happening, and pushed him across the street
ahead of me. We were nearly run down, but I was so mad I didn't care. Jedson
came pounding after us. The yard door of my office was open.
I gave the mug a final heave that lifted him over the threshold and sent him
sprawling on the floor, Jedson was right behind; I bolted the door as soon as
we were both inside. Jedson strode over to my desk,
snatched open the middle drawer, and rummaged hurriedly through the stuff that
accumulates in such places. He found what he wanted, a carpenter's blue pencil,
and was back alongside our gangster before he had collected himself sufficiently
to scramble to his feet. Jedson drew a circle around him on the floor, almost
tripping over his own feet in his haste, and closed the circle with an
intricate flourish. Our unwilling guest screeched
when he saw what Joe was doing, and tried to throw himself out of the circle
before it could be finished. But Jedson had been too fast for him - the circle
was closed and sealed; he bounced back from the boundary as if he had struck a
glass wall, and stumbled again to his knees. He remained so for the time, and
cursed steadily in a language that I judged to be Italian, although. I think
there were bad words in it from several other languages - certainly some
English ones. He was quite fluent. Jedson pulled out a cigarette,
lighted it, and handed me one. Let's sit down, Archie,' he said, and rest
ourselves until our boy friend composes himself enough to talk business.' I did so, and we smoked for
several minutes while the flood of invective continued. Presently Jedson cocked
one eyebrow at the chap and said, Aren't you beginning to repeat yourself?' That checked him. He just sat
and glared. Well,' Jedson continued, haven't you anything to say for yourself?'
He growled under his breath and
said, I want to call my lawyer.' Jedson looked amused. You don't understand
the situation,' he told him. You're not under arrest, and we don't give a damn
about your legal rights. We might just conjure up a hole and drop you in it,
then let it relax.' The guy paled a little under his swarthy skin. Oh yes,'
Jedson went on, we are quite capable of doing that - or worse. You see, we
don't like you. Of course,' he added
meditatively, we might just turn you over to the police. I get a soft streak
now and then.' The chap looked sour. You don't like that either? Your fingerprints,
maybe?' Jedson jumped to his feet and in two quick strides was standing over
him, just outside the circle. All right then,' he rapped, answer up and make em
good! Why were you taking photographs?' The chap muttered something, his
eyes lowered. Jedson brushed it aside. Don't give me that stuff - we aren't
children! Who told you to do it?' He looked utterly panic-stricken
at that and shut up completely. Very well,' said Jedson, and
turned to me. Have you some wax, or modeling clay, or anything of the sort?' How would putty do?' I
suggested. Just the thing.' I slid out to
the shed where we stow glaziers' supplies and came back with a five-pound can.
Jedson pried it open and dug out a good big handful, then sat at my desk and
worked the linseed oil into it until it was soft and workable. Our prisoner
watched him with silent apprehension. There! That's about right,' Jedson
announced at length, and slapped the soft lump down on my blotter pad. He
commenced to fashion it with his fingers, and it took shape slowly as a little
doll about ten inches high. It did not look like much of anything or anybody -
Jedson is no artist - but Jedson kept glancing from the figurine to the man in
the circle and back again, like a sculptor making a clay sketch directly from a
model. You could see the chap's nervous terror increase by the minute. Now!' said Jedson, looking once
more from the putty figure to his model. It's just as ugly as you are. Why did
you take that picture?' He did not answer, but slunk
farther back in the circle, his face nastier than ever. Talk!' snorted Jedson, and
twisted a foot of the doll between a thumb and forefinger. The corresponding
foot of our prisoner jerked out from under him and twisted violently. He fell
heavily to the floor with a yelp of pain. You were going to cast a spell
on this place, weren't you?' He made his first coherent answer. No, no, mister!
Not me!' Not you? I see. You were just the errand boy. Who was to do the
magic?' I don't know- Ow! Oh, God!' He
grabbed at his left calf and nursed it. Jedson had jabbed a pen point into the
leg of the doll. I really don't know. Please, please!' Maybe you don't,' Jedson
grudged, but at least you know who gives you your orders, and who some of the
other members of your gang are. Start talking.' He rocked back and forth and
covered his face with his hands. I don't dare, mister,' he groaned. Please
don't try to make me-' Jedson jabbed the doll with the pen again; he jumped and
flinched, but this time he bore it silently with a look of grey determination. OK,' said Jedson, if you
insist-' He took another drag from his cigarette, then brought the lighted end
slowly towards the face of the doll. The man in the circle tried to shrink away
from it, his hands up to protect his face, but his efforts were futile. I could
actually see the skin turn red and angry and the blisters blossom under his
hide. It made me sick to watch it, and, while I didn't feel any real sympathy
for the rat, I turned to Jedson and was about to ask him to stop when he took
the cigarette away from the doll's face. Ready to talk?' he asked. The
man nodded feebly, tears pouring down his scorched cheeks. He seemed about to
collapse. Here - don't faint,' Jedson added, and slapped the face of the doll
with a finger tip. I could hear the smack land, and the chap's head rocked to
the blow, but he seemed to take a brace from it. All right, Archie, you take it
down.' He turned back. And you, my friend, talk - and talk lots. Tell us
everything you know. If you find your memory failing you, stop to think how you
would like my cigarette poked into dolly's eyes!' And he did talk - babbled, in
fact. His spirit seemed to be completely broken, and he even seemed anxious to
talk, stopping only occasionally to sniffle, or wipe at his eyes. Jedson
questioned him to bring out points that were not clear. There were five others in the
gang that he knew about, and the setup was roughly as we had guessed. It was
their object to levy tribute on everyone connected with magic in this end of
town, magicians and their customers alike. No, they did not have any real
protection to offer except from their own mischief. Who was his boss? He told
us. Was his boss the top man in the racket? No, but he did not know who the top
man was. He was quite sure that his boss worked for someone else, but he did
not know who. Even if we burned him again he could not tell us. But it was a
big organization - he was sure of that. He himself had been brought from a city
in the East to help organize here. Was he a magician? So help him,
no! Was his section boss one? No - he was sure; all that sort of thing was
handled from higher up. That was all he knew, and could he go now? Jedson
pressed him to remember other things; he added a number of details, most of
them insignificant, but I took them all down. The last thing he said was that
he thought both of us had been marked down for special attention because we had
been successful in overcoming our first lesson'. Finally Jedson let up on him.
I'm going to let you go now,' he told him. You'd better get out of town. Don't
let me see you hanging around again. But don't go too far; I may want you
again. See this?' He held up the doll and squeezed it gently around the middle.
The poor devil immediately commenced to gasp for breath as if he were being
compressed in a strait jacket. Don't forget that I've got you any time I want
you.' He let up on the pressure, and his victim panted his relief. I'm going to
put your alter ego - doll to you! - where it will be safe, behind cold iron. When
I want you, you'll feel a pain like that' - he nipped the doll's left shoulder
with his fingernails; the man yelped - then you telephone me, no matter where
you are.' Jedson pulled a penknife from
his vest pocket and cut the circle three times, then joined the cuts. Now get
Out!' I thought he would bolt as soon
as he was released, but he did not. He stepped hesitantly over the pencil mark,
stood still for a moment, and shivered. Then he stumbled towards the door. He
turned just before he went through it and looked back at us, his eyes wide with
fear. There was a look of appeal in them, too, and he seemed about to speak.
Evidently he thought better of it, for he turned and went on out. When he was gone I looked back
at Jedson. He had picked up my notes and was glancing through them. I don't
know,' he mused, whether it would be better to turn this stuff at once over to
the Better Business Bureau and let them handle it, or whether to have a go at
it ourselves. It's a temptation.' I was not interested just then.
Joe,' I said, I wish you hadn't burned him!' Eh? How's that?' He seemed
surprised and stopped scratchin' his chin. I didn't burn him.' Don't quibble,' I said, somewhat
provoked. You burned him through the doll, I mean with magic.' But I didn't, Archie. Really I
didn't. He did that to himself - and it wasn't magic. I didn't do a thing!' What the hell do you mean?' Sympathetic magic isn't really
magic at all, Archie. It's just an application of neuropsychology and colloidal
chemistry. He did all that to himself, because he believed in it. I simply
correctly judged his mentality.' The discussion was cut short; we
heard an agony-loaded scream from somewhere outside the building. It broke off
sharply, right at the top. What was that?' I said, and gulped. I don't know,' Jedson answered,
and stepped to the door. He looked up and down before continuing. It must be
some distance away. I didn't see anything.' He came back into the room. As I
was saying, it would be a lot of fun to-' This time it was a police siren.
We heard it from far away, but it came rapidly nearer, turned a corner, and
yowled down our street. We looked at each other. Maybe we'd better go see,' we
both said, right together, then laughed nervously. It was our gangster
acquaintance. We found him half a block down the street, in the middle of a
little group of curious passers-by who were being crowded back by cops from the
squad car at the curb. He was quite dead. He lay on his back, but there
was no repose in the position. He had been raked from forehead to waist, laid
open to the bone in three roughly parallel scratches, as if slashed by the
talons of a hawk or an eagle. But the bird that made those wounds must have
been the size of a five-ton truck. There was nothing to tell from
his expression. His face and throat were covered by, and his mouth choked with,
a yellowish substance shot with purple. It was about the consistency of thin
cottage cheese, but it had the most sickening smell I have ever run up against.
I turned to Jedson, who was not
looking any too happy himself, and said, Let's get back to the office.' We did. We decided at last to do a
little investigating on our own before taking up what we had learned with the
Better Business Bureau or with the police. It was just as well that we did;
none of the gang whose names we had obtained was any longer to be found in the
haunts which we had listed. There was plenty of evidence that such persons had
existed and that they had lived at the addresses which Jedson had sweated out
of their pal. But all of them, without exception, had done a bunk for parts
unknown the same afternoon that their accomplice had been killed. We did not go to the police, for
we had no wish to be associated with an especially unsavoury sudden death.
Instead, Jedson made a cautious verbal report to a friend of his at the Better
Business Bureau, who passed it on secondhand to the head of the racket squad and
elsewhere, as his judgment indicated. I did not have any trouble with
my business for some time thereafter, and I was working very hard, trying to
show a profit for the quarter in spite of setbacks. I had put the whole matter
fairly well out of my mind, except that I dropped over to call on Mrs Jennings
occasionally and that I had used her young friend Jack Bodie once or twice in
my business, when I needed commercial magic. He was a good workman - no monkey
business and value received. I was beginning to think I had
the world on a leash when I ran into another series of accidents. This time
they did not threaten my business; they threatened me - and I'm just as
fond of my neck as the next man. In the house where I live the
water heater is installed in the kitchen. It is a storage type, with a pilot
light and a thermostatically controlled main flame. Right alongside it is a
range with a pilot light. I woke up in the middle of the
night and decided that I wanted a drink of water. When I stepped into the kitchen
- don't ask me why I did not look for a drink in the bathroom, because I don't
know - I was almost gagged by the smell of gas. I ran over and threw the window
wide open, then ducked back out the door and ran into the living room, where I
opened a big window to create a cross draught. At that point there was a dull whoosh
and a boom, and I found myself sitting on the living room rug. I was not hurt, and there was no
damage in the kitchen except for a few broken dishes. Opening the windows had
released the explosion, cushioned the effect. Natural gas is not an explosive
unless it is confined. What had happened was clear enough when I looked over
the scene. The pilot light on the heater had gone out; when the water in the
tank cooled, the thermostat turned on the main gas jet, which continued indefinitely
to pour gas into the room. When an explosive mixture was reached, the pilot
light of the stove was waiting, ready to set it off. Apparently I wandered in at the
zero hour. I fussed at my landlord about
it, and finally we made a dicker whereby he installed one of the electrical
water heaters which I supplied at cost and for which I donated the labour. No magic about the whole
incident, eh? That is what I thought. Now I am not so sure. The next thing that threw a
scare into me occurred the same week, with no apparent connection. I keep a dry
mix - sand, rock, gravel - in the usual big bins set up high on concrete
stanchions, so that the trucks can drive under the hoppers for loading. One
evening after closing time I was walking past the bins when I noticed that
someone had left a scoop shovel in the driveway pit under the hoppers. I have had trouble with my men
leaving tools out at night; I decided to put this one in my car and confront
someone with it in the morning. I was about to jump down into the pit when I
heard my name called. Archibald!' it said - and it
sounded remarkably like Mrs Jennings's voice. Naturally I looked around. There
was no one there. I turned back to the pit in time to hear a cracking sound and
to see that scoop covered with twenty tons of medium gravel. A man can live through being
buried alive, but not when he has to wait overnight for someone to miss him and
dig him out. Acrystallized steel forging was the prima-facie cause of the
mishap. I suppose that will do. There was never anything to
point to but natural causes, yet for about two weeks I stepped on banana peels
both figuratively and literally. I saved my skin with a spot of fast footwork
at least a dozen times. I finally broke down and told Mrs Jennings about it. Don't worry too much about it,
Archie,' she reassured me. It is not too easy to kill a man with magic unless
he himself is involved with magic and sensitive to it.' Might as well kill a man as
scare him to death!' I protested. She smiled that incredible smile
of hers and said, I don't think you have been really frightened, lad. At least
you have not shown it.' I caught an implication in that
remark and taxed her with it. You've been watching me and pulling me out of
jams, haven't you?' She smiled more broadly and
replied, That's my business, Archie. It is not well for the young to depend on
the old for help. Now get along with you. I want to give this matter more
thought.' A couple of days' later a note
came in the mail addressed to me in a spidery, Spencerian script. The
penmanship had the dignified flavour of the last century, and was the least bit
shaky, as if the writer were unwell or very elderly. I had never seen the hand
before, but guessed who it was before I opened it. It read: My dear Archibald: This is to
introduce my esteemed friend, Dr Royce Worthington. You will find him staying
at the Belmont Hotel; he is expecting to hear from you. Dr Worthington is
exceptionally well qualified to deal with the matters that have been troubling
you these few weeks past. You may repose every confidence in his judgment,
especially where unusual measures are required. Please to include your
friend, Mr Jedson, in this introduction, if you wish. I am, sir,
Very sincerely yours,
Amanda Todd Jennings I rang up Joe Jedson and read
the letter to him. He said that he would be over at once, and for me to
telephone Worthington. Is Dr Worthington there?' I
asked as soon as the room clerk had put me through. Speaking,' answered a cultured
British voice with a hint of Oxford in it. This is Archibald Fraser,
Doctor. Mrs Jennings has written to me, suggesting that I look you up.' Oh, yes!' he replied, his voice
warming considerably. I shall be delighted. When will be a convenient time?' If you are free, I could come
right over.' Let me see-' He paused about
long enough to consult a watch. I have occasion to go to your side of the city.
Might I stop by your office in thirty minutes, or a little later?' That will be fine, Doctor, if it
does not discommode you-' Not at all. I will be there.' Jedson arrived a little later
and asked me at once about Dr Worthington. I haven't seen him yet,' I said, but
he sounds like something pretty swank in the way of an English-university don.
He'll be here shortly.' My office girl brought in his
card a half hour later. I got up to greet him and saw a tall, heavy-set man
with a face of great dignity and evident intelligence. He was dressed in rather
conservative, expensively tailored clothes and carried gloves, stick, and a
large briefcase. But he was black as draftsman's ink! I tried not to show surprise. I
hope I did not, for I have an utter horror of showing that kind of rudeness.
There was no reason why the man should not be a Negro. I simply had not been
expecting it. Jedson helped me out. I don't
believe he would show surprise if a fried egg winked at him. He took over the conversion
for the first couple of minutes after I introduced him; we all found chairs,
settled down, and spent a few minutes in the polite, meaningless exchanges that
people make when they are sizing up strangers. Worthington opened the matter.
Mrs Jennings gave me to believe,' he observed, that there was some fashion in
which I might possibly be of assistance to one, or both, of you-' I told him that there certainly
was, and sketched out the background for him from the time the racketeer
contact man first showed up at my shop. He asked a few questions, and Jedson
helped me out with some details. I got the impression that Mrs Jennings had
already told him most of it, and that he was simply checking. Very well,' he said at last, his
voice a deep, mellow rumble that seemed to echo in his big chest before it
reached the air, I am reasonably sure that we will find a way to cope with your
problems, but first I must make a few examinations before we can complete the
diagnosis.' He leaned over and commenced to unstrap his briefcase. Uh . . . Doctor,' I suggested,
hadn't we better complete our arrangements before you start to work?' Arrangements?' He looked
momentarily puzzled, then smiled broadly. Oh, you mean payment. My dear sir, it
is a privilege to do a favour for Mrs Jennings.' But . . . but . . . see here,
Doctor, I'd feel better about it. I assure you I am quite in the habit of
paying for magic-' He held up a hand. It is not
possible, my young friend, for two reasons: In the first place, I am not
licensed to practice in your state. In the second place, I am not a magician.' I suppose I looked as inane as I
sounded. Huh? What's that? Oh! Excuse me, Doctor. I guess I just naturally
assumed that since Mrs Jennings had sent you, and your title, and all-' He continued to smile, but it
was a smile of understanding rather than amusement at my discomfiture. That is
not surprising; even some of your fellow citizens of my blood make that
mistake. No, my degree is an honorary doctor of laws of Cambridge University.
My proper pursuit is anthropology, which I sometimes teach at the University of
South Africa. But anthropology has some odd bypaths; I am here to exercise one
of them.' Well, then, may I ask-' Certainly, sir. My avocation,
freely translated from its quite unpronounceable proper name, is "witch
smeller .' I was still puzzled. But doesn't
that involve magic?' Yes and no. In Africa the
hierarchy and the categories in these matters are not the same as in this
continent. I am not considered a wizard, or witch doctor, but rather an
antidote for such.' Something had been worrying
Jedson. Doctor,' he inquired, you were not originally from South Africa?' Worthington gestured towards his
own face. I suppose that Jedson read something there that was beyond my
knowledge. As you have discerned. No, I was born in a bush tribe south of the
Lower Congo.' From there, eh? That's
interesting. By any chance, are you nganga?' Of the Ndembo, but not by
chance.' He turned to me and explained courteously. Your friend asked me if I
was a member of an occult fraternity which extends throughout Africa, but which
has the bulk of its members in my native territory. Initiates are called
nganga.' Jedson persisted in his
interest. It seems likely to me, Doctor, that Worthington is a name of
convenience - that you have another name.' You are again right - naturally.
My tribal name - do you wish to know it?' If you will.' It is' - I cannot reproduce the
odd clicking, lip-smacking noise he uttered - or it is just as proper to state
it in English, as the meaning is what counts - Man-Who-Asks-Inconvenient-
Questions. Prosecuting attorney is another reasonably idiomatic, though not
quite literal, translation, because of the tribal functions implied. But it
seems to me,' he went on, with a smile of unmalicious humour, that the name
fits you even better than it does me. May I give it to you?' Here occurred something that I
did not understand, except that it must have its basis in some African custom
completely foreign to our habits of thought. I was prepared to laugh at the
doctor's witticism, and I am sure he meant it to be funny, but Jedson answered
him quite seriously: I am deeply honoured to accept.'
It is you who honour me,
brother.' From then on, throughout our
association with him, Dr Worthington invariably addressed Jedson by the African
name he had formerly claimed as his own, and Jedson called him brother' or
Royce'. Their whole attitude towards each other underwent a change, as if the
offer and acceptance of a name had in fact made them brothers, with all of the
privileges and obligations of the relationship. I have not left you without a
name,' Jedson added. You had a third name, your real name?' Yes, of course,' Worthington
acknowledged, a name which we need not mention.' Naturally,' Jedson agreed, a
name which must not be mentioned. Shall we get to work, then?' Yes, let us do so.' He turned to
me. Have you some place here where I may make my preparations? It need not be
large-' Will this do?' I offered,
getting up and opening the door of a cloak- and washroom which adjoins my
office. Nicely, thank you,' he said, and
took himself and his briefcase inside, closing the door after him. He was gone
ten minutes at least. Jedson did not seem disposed to
talk, except to suggest that I caution my girl not to disturb us or let anyone
enter from the outer office. We sat and waited. Then he came out of the
cloakroom, and I got my second big surprise of the day. The urbane Dr
Worthington was gone. In his place was an African personage who stood over six
feet tall in his bare black feet, and whose enormous, arched chest was overlaid
with thick, sleek muscles of polished obsidian. He was dressed in a loin skin
of leopard, and carried certain accoutrements, notably a pouch, which hung at
his waist. But it was not his equipment
that held me, nor yet the John Henrylike proportions of that warrior frame, but
the face. The eyebrows were painted white and the hairline had been outlined in
the same colour, but I hardly noticed these things. It was the expression -
humourless, implacable, filled with a dignity and strength which must be felt
to be appreciated. The eyes gave a conviction of wisdom beyond my
comprehension, and there was no pity in them - only a stem justice that I
myself would not care to face. We white men in this country are
inclined to underestimate the black man - I know I do - because we see him out
of his cultural matrix. Those we know have had their own culture wrenched from
them some generations back and a servile pseudo culture imposed on them by
force. We forget that the black man has a culture of his own, older than ours
and more solidly grounded, based on character and the power of the mind rather
than the cheap, ephemeral tricks of mechanical gadgets. But it is a stern,
fierce culture with no sentimental concern for the weak and the unfit, and it
never quite dies out. I stood up in involuntary
respect when Dr Worthington entered the room. Let us begin,' he said in a
perfectly ordinary voice, and squatted down, his great toes spread and grasping
the floor. He took several things out of the pouch - a dog's tail, a wrinkled
black object the size of a man's fist, and other things hard to identify. He
fastened the tail to his waist so that it hung down behind. Then he picked up
one of the things that he had taken from the pouch - a small item, wrapped and
tied in red silk - and said to me, Will you open your safe?' I did so, and stepped back out
of his way. He thrust the little bundle inside, clanged the door shut, and spun
the knob. I looked inquiringly at Jedson. He has his . . . well .. . soul
in that package, and has sealed it away behind cold iron. He does not know what
dangers he may encounter,' Jedson whispered. See?' I looked and saw him pass
his thumb carefully all around the crack that joined the safe to its door. He returned to the middle of the
floor and picked up the wrinkled black object and rubbed it affectionately.
This is my mother's father,' he announced. I looked at it more closely and saw
that it was a mummified human head with a few wisps of hair still clinging to
the edge of the scalp! He is very wise,' he continued in a matter-of-fact
voice, and I shall need his advice. Grandfather, this is your new son and his
friend.' Jedson bowed, and I found myself doing so. They want our help.' He started to converse with the
head in his own tongue, listening from time to time, and then answering. Once
they seemed to get into an argument, but the matter must have been settled
satisfactorily, for the palaver soon quieted down. After a few minutes he
ceased talking and glanced around the room. His eye lit on a bracket shelf
intended for an electric fan, which was quite high off the floor. There!' he said. That will do
nicely. Grandfather needs a high place from which to watch.' He bent over and
placed the little head on the bracket so that it faced out into the room. When he returned to his place in
the middle of the room he dropped to all fours and commenced to cast around
with his nose like a hunting dog trying to pick up a scent. He ran back and
forth, snuffling and whining, exactly like a pack leader worried by mixed
trails. The tail fastened to his waist stood up tensely and quivered, as if
still part of a live animal. His gait and his mannerisms mimicked those of a
hound so convincingly that I blinked my eyes when he sat down suddenly and
announced: I've never seen a place more
loaded with traces of magic. I can pick out Mrs Jennings's very strongly and
your own business magic. But after I eliminate them the air is still crowded.
You must have had everything but a rain dance and a sabbat going on around
you!' He dropped back into his
character of a dog without giving us a chance to reply, and started making his
casts a little wider. Presently he appeared to come to some sort of an impasse,
for he settled back, looked at the head, and whined vigorously. Then he waited.
The reply must have satisfied
him; he gave a sharp bark and dragged open the bottom drawer of a file cabinet,
working clumsily, as if with paws instead of hands. He dug into the back of the
drawer eagerly and hauled out something which he popped into his pouch. After that he trotted very
cheerfully around the place for a short time, until he had poked his nose into
every odd corner. When he had finished he returned to the middle of the floor,
squatted down again, and said, That takes care of everything here for the
present. This place is the centre of their attack, so grandfather has agreed to
stay and watch here until I can bind a cord around your place to keep witches
out.'
I was a little perturbed at
that. I was sure the head would scare my office girl half out of her wits if
she saw it. I said so as diplomatically as possible. How about that?' he asked the head,
then turned back to me after a moment of listening. Grandfather says it's all
right; he won't let anyone see him he has not been introduced to.' It turned
out that he was perfectly correct; nobody noticed it, not even the scrubwoman. Now then,' he went on, I want to
check over my brother's place of business at the earliest opportunity, and I
want to smell out both of your homes and insulate them against mischief. In the
meantime, here is some advice for each of you to follow carefully: Don't let
anything of yourself fall into the hands of strangers - nail parings, spittle,
hair cuttings - guard it all. Destroy them by fire, or engulf them in running
water. It will make our task much simpler. I am finished.' He got up and strode
back into the cloakroom. Ten minutes later the dignified
and scholarly Dr Worthington was smoking a cigarette with us. I had to look up
at his grandfather's head to convince myself that a jungle lord had actually
been there. Business was picking up at that
time, and I had no more screwy accidents after Dr Worthington cleaned out the
place. I could see a net profit for the quarter and was beginning to feel
cheerful again. I received a letter from Ditworth, dunning me about Biddle's
phony claim, but I filed it in the wastebasket without giving it a thought. One day shortly before noon
Feldstein, the magicians' agent, dropped into my place. Hi, Zack!' I said
cheerfully when he walked in. How's business?' Mr Fraser, of all questions,
that you should ask me that one,' he said, shaking his head mournfully from
side to side. Business - it is terrible.' Why do you say that?' I asked. I
see lots of signs of activity around-' Appearances are deceiving,' he
insisted, especially in my business. Tell me - have you heard of a concern
calling themselves "Magic, Incorporated ?' That's funny,' I told him. I
just did, for the first time. This just came in the mail' - and I held up an
unopened letter. It had a return address on it of Magic, Incorporated, Suite
700, Commonwealth Building'. Feldstein took it gingerly, as
if he thought it might poison him, and inspected it. That's the parties I
mean,' he confirmed. The gonophs!' Why, what's the trouble, Zack?' They don't want that a man
should make an honest living - Mr Fraser,' he interrupted himself
anxiously, you wouldn't quit doing business with an old friend who had always
done right by you?' Of course not, Zack, but what's
it all about?' Read it. Go ahead.' He shoved
the letter back at me. I opened it. The paper was a
fine quality, watermarked, rag bond, and the letterhead was chaste and
dignified. I glanced over the stuffed-shirt committee and was quite agreeably
impressed by the calibre of men they had as officers and directors - big men,
all of them, except for a couple of names among the executives that I did not
recognize. The letter itself amounted to an
advertising prospectus. It was a new idea; I suppose you could call it a
holding company for magicians. They offered to provide any and all kinds of
magical service. The customer could dispense with shopping around; he could
call this one number, state his needs, and the company would supply the service
and bill him. It seemed fair enough - no more than an incorporated agency. I glanced on down. -fully
guaranteed service, backed by the entire assets of a responsible company--'
-surprisingly low standard fees, made possible by elimination of fee splitting
with agents and by centralized administration-' The gratifying response from
the members of the great profession enables us to predict that Magic,
Incorporated, will be the natural source to turn to for competent thaumaturgy
in any line - probably the only source of truly first-rate magic-' I put it down. Why worry about
it, Zack? It's just another agency. As for their claims - I've heard you say
that you have all the best ones in your stable. You didn't expect to be
believed, did you?' No,' he conceded, not quite,
maybe - among us two. But this is really serious, Mr Fraser. They've hired away
most of my really first-class operators with salaries and bonuses I can't
match. And now they offer magic to the public at a price that undersells those
I've got left. It's ruin, I'm telling you.' It was hard lines. Feldstein was
a nice little guy who grabbed the nickels the way he did for a wife and five
beady- eyed kids, to whom he was devoted. But I felt he was exaggerating; he
has a tendency to dramatize himself. Don't worry,' I said, I'll stick by you,
and so, I imagine, will most of your customers. This outfit can't get all the
magicians together; they're too independent. Look at Ditworth. He tried with
his association. What did it get him?' Ditworth - aagh!' He started to
spit, then remembered he was in my office. This is Ditworth - this
company!' How do you figure that? He's not
on the letterhead.' I found out. You think he wasn't
successful because you held out. They held a meeting of the directors of the
association - that's Ditworth and his two secretaries - and voted the contracts
over to the new corporation. Then Ditworth resigns and his stooge steps in as
front for the nonprofit association, and Ditworth runs both companies. You will
see! If we could open the books of Magic, Incorporated, you will find he has
voting control. I know it!' It seems unlikely,' I said
slowly. You'll see! Ditworth with all
his fancy talk about a nonprofit service for the improvement of standards
shouldn't be any place around Magic, Incorporated, should he, now? You call up
and ask for him-' I did not answer, but dialed the
number on the letterhead. When a girl's voice said, Good morning - Magic,
Incorporated,' I said: Mr Ditworth, please.' She hesitated quite a long time,
then said, Who is calling, please?' That made it my turn to
hesitate. I did not want to talk to Ditworth; I wanted to establish a fact. I
finally said, Tell him it's Dr Biddle's office.' Whereupon she answered readily
enough, but with a trace of puzzlement in her voice, But Mr Ditworth is not in
the suite just now; he was due in Dr Biddle's office half an hour ago. Didn't he
arrive?' Oh,' I said, perhaps he's with
the chief and I didn't see him come in. Sorry.' And I rang off. I guess you are right,' I
admitted, turning back to Feldstein. He was too worried to be pleased
about it. Look,' he said, I want you should have lunch with me and talk about
it some more.' I was just on my way to the
Chamber of Commerce luncheon. Come along and we'll talk on the way. You're a
member.' All right,' he agreed dolefully.
Maybe I can't afford it much longer.' We were a little late and had to
take separate seats. The treasurer stuck the kitty under my nose and twisted
her tail'. He wanted a ten-cent fine from me for being late. The kitty is an
ordinary frying pan with a mechanical bicycle bell mounted on the handle. We
pay all fines on the spot, which is good for the treasury and a source of
innocent amusement. The treasurer shoves the pan at you and rings the bell
until you pay up. I hastily produced a dime and
dropped it in. Steve Harris, who has an automobile agency, yelled, That's right!
Make the Scotchman pay up!' and threw a roll at me. Ten cents for disorder,'
announced our chairman, Norman Somers, without looking up. The treasurer put
the bee on Steve. I heard the coin clink into the pan, then the bell was rung
again. What's the trouble?' asked
Somers. More of Steve's tricks,' the
treasurer reported in a tired voice. Fairy gold, this time.' Steve had chucked
in a synthetic coin that some friendly magician had made up for him. Naturally,
when it struck cold iron it melted away. Two bits more for
counterfeiting,' decided Somers, then handcuff him and ring up the United
States attorney.' Steve is quite a card, but he does not put much over on
Norman. Can't I finish my lunch first?'
asked Steve, in tones that simply dripped with fake self-pity. Norman ignored
him and he paid up. Steve, better have fun while you
can,' commented Al Donahue, who runs a string of drive-in restaurants. When you
sign up with Magic, Incorporated, you will have to cut out playing tricks with
magic.' I sat up and listened. Who said I was going to sign up
with them?' Huh? Of course you are. It's the
logical thing to do. Don't be a dope.' Why should I?' Why should you? Why, it's the
direction of progress, man. Take my case: I put out the fanciest line of vanishing
desserts of any eating place in town. You can eat three of them if you like,
and not feel full and not gain an ounce. Now I've been losing money on them,
but kept them for advertising because of the way they bring in the women's
trade. Now Magic, Incorporated, comes along and offers me the same thing at a
price I can make money with them too. Naturally, I signed up. You would. Suppose they raise
the prices on you after they have hired, or driven out of business, every
competent wizard in town?' Donahue laughed in a superior,
irritating way. I've got a contract.' So? How long does it run? And
did you read the cancellation clause?' I knew what he was talking
about, even if Donahue didn't; I had been through it. About five years ago a
Portland cement firm came into town and began buying up the little dealers and
cutting prices against the rest. They ran sixty-cent cement down to thirty-five
cents a sack and broke their competitors. Then they jacked it back up by easy
stages until cement sold for a dollar twenty-five. The boys took a whipping
before they knew what had happened to them. We all had to shut up about
then, for the guest speaker, old B. J. Timken, the big subdivider, started in.
He spoke on Cooperation and Service'. Although he is not exactly a
scintillating speaker, he had some very inspiring things to say about how
businessmen could serve the community and help each other; I enjoyed it. After the clapping died down,
Norman Somers thanked B. J. and said, That's all for today, gentlemen, unless
there is some new business to bring before the house-' Jedson got up. I was sitting
with my back to him, and had not known he was present. I think there is, Mr
Chairman - a very important matter. I ask the indulgence of the Chair for a few
minutes of informal discussion. Somers answered, Certainly, Joe,
if you've got something important.' Thanks. I think it is. This is
really an extension of the discussion between Al Donahue and Steve Harris
earlier in the meeting. I think there has been a major change in business
conditions going on in this city right under our noses and we haven't noticed
it, except where it directly affected our own businesses. I refer to the trade
in commercial magic. How many of you use magic in your business? Put your hands
up.' All the hands went up, except for a couple of lawyers'. Personally, I had
always figured they were magicians themselves. OK,' Jedson went on, put them
down. We knew that; we all use it. I use it for textiles. Hank Manning here
uses nothing else for cleaning and pressing, and probably uses it for some of
his dye jobs too. Wally Haight's Maple Shop uses it to assemble and finish fine
furniture. Stan Robertson will tell you that Le Bon Marchй's slick window
displays are thrown together with spells, as well as two thirds of the
merchandise in his store, especially in the kids' toy department. Now I want to
ask you another question: In how many cases is the percentage of your cost
charged to magic greater than your margin of profits? Think about it for a
moment before answering.' He paused, then said: All right - put up your hands.'
Nearly as many hands went up as
before. That's the point of the whole
matter. We've got to have magic to stay in business. If anyone gets a strangle
hold on magic in this community, we are all at his mercy. We would have to pay
any prices that are handed us, charge the prices we are told to, and take what
profits we are allowed to - or go out of business!' The chairman interrupted him.
Just a minute, Joe. Granting that what you say is true - it is, of course - do
you have any reason to feel that we are confronted with any particular
emergency in the matter?' Yes, I do have.' Joe's voice was
low and very serious. Little reasons, most of them, but they add up to convince
me that someone is engaged in a conspiracy in restraint of trade.' Jedson ran
rapidly over the history of Ditworth's attempt to organize magicians and their
clients into an association, presumably to raise the standards of the
profession, and how alongside the nonprofit association had suddenly appeared a
capital corporation which was already in a fair way to becoming a monopoly. Wait a second, Joe,' put in Ed
Parmelee, who has a produce jobbing business. I think that association is a
fine idea. I was threatened by some rat who tried to intimidate me into letting
him pick my magicians. I took it up with the association, and they took care of
it; I didn't have any more trouble. I think an organization which can clamp
down on racketeers is a pretty fine thing.' You had to sign with the
association to get their help, didn't you?' Why, yes, but that's entirely
reasonable-' Isn't it possible that your
gangster got what he wanted when you signed up?' Why, that seems pretty
farfetched.' I don't say,' persisted Joe,
that is the explanation, but it is a distinct possibility. It would not be the
first time that monopolists used goon squads with their left hands to get by
coercion what their right hands could not touch. I wonder whether any of the
rest of you have had similar experiences?' It developed that several of
them had. I could see them beginning to think. One of the lawyers present
formally asked a question through the chairman. Mr Chairman, passing for the
moment from the association to Magic, Incorporated, is this corporation
anything more than a union of magicians? If so, have they a legal right to
organize?' Norman turned to Jedson. Will
you answer that, Joe?' Certainly. It is not a union at
all. It is a parallel to a situation in which all the carpenters in town are
employees of one contractor; you deal with that contractor or you don't build.'
Then it's a simple case of
monopoly - if it is a monopoly. This state has a Little Sherman Act; you can
prosecute.~ I think you will find that it is
a monopoly. Have any of you noticed that there are no magicians present at
today's meet? We all looked around. It was perfectly true. I think you can
expect,' he added, to find magicians represented hereafter in this chamber by
some executive of Magic, Incorporated. With respect to the possibility of
prosecution' - he hauled a folded newspaper out of his hip pocket - have any of
you paid any attention to the governor's call for a special session of the
legislature?' Al Donahue remarked
superciliously that he was too busy making a living to waste any time on the
political game. It was a deliberate dig at Joe, for everybody knew that he was
a committee-man, and spent quite a lot of time on civic affairs. The dig must
have gotten under Joe's skin, for he said pityingly, Al, it's a damn good thing
for you that some of us are willing to spend a little time on government, or
you would wake up some morning to find they had stolen the sidewalks in front
of your house.' The chairman rapped for order;
Joe apologized. Donahue muttered something under his breath about the whole
political business being dirty, and that anyone associated with it was bound to
turn crooked. I reached out for an ashtray and knocked over a glass of water,
which spilled into Donahue's lap. It diverted his mind. Joe went on talking. Of course we knew a special
session was likely for several reasons, but when they published the agenda of
the call last night, I found tucked away towards the bottom an item
"Regulation of Thaumaturgy . I couldn't believe that there was any reason
to deal with such a matter in a special session unless something was up. I got
on the phone last night and called a friend of mine at the capitol, a fellow
committee member. She did not know anything about it, but she called me back
later. Here's what she found out: The item was stuck into the agenda at the
request of some of the governor's campaign backers; he has no special interest
in it himself. Nobody seems to know what it is all about, but one bill on the
subject has already been dropped in the hopper-' There was an interruption;
somebody wanted to know what the bill said. I'm trying to tell you,' Joe
said patiently. The bill was submitted by title alone; we won't be likely to
know its contents until it is taken up in committee. But here is the title:
"A Bill to Establish Professional Standards for Thaumaturgists, Regulate
the Practice of the Thaumaturgic Profession, Provide for the Appointment of a
Commission to Examine, License, and Administer- and so on. As you can see, it
isn't even a proper title; it's just an omnibus on to which they can hang any
sort of legislation regarding magic, including an abridgement of anti- monopoly
regulation if they choose.' There was a short silence after
this. I think all of us were trying to make up our minds on a subject that we
were not really conversant with - politics. Presently someone spoke up and
said, What do you think we ought to do about it?' Well,' he answered, we at least
ought to have our own representative at the capitol to protect us in the
clinches. Besides that, we at least ought to be prepared to submit our own
bill, if this one has any tricks in it, and bargain for the best compromise we
can get. We should at least get an implementing amendment out of it that would
put some real teeth into the state anti-trust act, at least in so far as magic
is concerned.' He grinned. That's four "at leasts , I think.' Why can't the state Chamber of
Commerce handle it for us? They maintain a legislative bureau.' Sure, they have a lobby, but you
know perfectly well that the state chamber doesn't see eye to eye with us
little businessmen. We can't depend on them; we may actually be fighting them.'
There was quite a powwow after
Joe sat down. Everybody had his own ideas about what to do and tried to express
them all at once. It became evident that there was no general agreement,
whereupon Somers adjourned the meeting with the announcement that those
interested in sending a representative to the capitol should stay. A few of the
diehards like Donahue left, and the rest of us reconvened with Somers again in
the chair. It was suggested that Jedson should be the one to go, and he agreed
to do it. Feldstein got up and made a
speech with tears in his eyes. He wandered and did not seem to be getting
anyplace, but finally he managed to get out that Jedson would need a good big
war chest to do any good at the capitol, and also should be compensated for his
expenses and loss of time. At that he astounded us by pulling out a roll of
bills, counting out one thousand dollars, and shoving it over in front of Joe. That display of sincerity caused
him to be made finance chairman by general consent, and the subscriptions came
in very nicely. I held down my natural impulses and matched Feldstein's
donation, though I did wish he had not been quite so impetuous. I think
Feldstein had a slight change of heart a little later, for he cautioned Joe to
be economical and not to waste a lot of money buying liquor for those schlemiels
at the capitol'. Jedson shook his head at this,
and said that while he intended to pay his own expenses, he would have to have
a free hand in the spending of the fund, particularly with respect to
entertainment. He said the time was too short to depend on sweet reasonableness
and disinterested patriotism alone - that some of those lunkheads had no more
opinions than a weather vane and would vote to favour the last man they had had
a drink with. Somebody made a shocked remark
about bribery. I don't intend to bribe anyone,' Jedson answered with a brittle
note in his voice. If it comes to swapping bribes, we're licked to start with.
I am just praying that there are still enough unpledged votes up there to make
a little persuasive talking and judicious browbeating worth while.' He got his own way, but I could
not help agreeing privately with Feldstein. And I made a resolution to pay a
little more attention to politics thereafter; I did not even know the name of
my own legislator. How did I know whether or not he was a high-calibre man or
just a cheap opportunist? And that is how Jedson, Bodie,
and myself happened to find ourselves on the train, headed for the capitol. Bodie went along because Jedson
wanted a first-rate magician to play bird dog for him. He said he did not know
what might turn up. I went along because I wanted to. I had never been to the
capitol before, except to pass through, and was interested to see how this
law-making business is done. Jedson went straight to the
Secretary of State's office to register as a lobbyist, while Jack and I took
our baggage to the Hotel Constitution and booked some rooms. Mrs Logan, Joe's
friend the committee-woman, showed up before he got back. Jedson had told us a great deal
about Sally Logan during the train trip. He seemed to feel that she combined
the shrewdness of Machiavelli with the greathearted integrity of Oliver Wendell
Holmes. I was surprised at his enthusiasm, for I have often heard him grouse
about women in politics. But you don't understand, Archie,'
he elaborated. Sally isn't a woman politician, she is simply a politician, and
asks no special consideration because of her sex. She can stand up and trade
punches with the toughest manipulators on the Hill. What I said about women
politicians is perfectly true, as a statistical generalization, but it proves
nothing about any particular woman. It's like this: Most women in
the United States have a short-sighted, peasant individualism resulting from
the male- created romantic tradition of the last century. They were told that
they were superior creatures, a little nearer to the angels than their
menfolks. They were not encouraged to think, nor to assume social
responsibility. It takes a strong mind to break out of that sort of
conditioning, and most minds simply aren't up to it, male or female. Consequently, women as electors
are usually suckers for romantic nonsense. They can be flattered into misusing
their ballot even more easily than men. In politics their self-righteous
feeling of virtue, combined with their essentially peasant training, resulted
in their introducing a type of cut-rate, petty chiseling that should make Boss
Tweed spin in his coffin. But Sally's not like that. She's
got a tough mind which could reject the hokum.' You're not in love with her, are
you?' Who, me? Sally's happily married
and has two of the best kids I know.' What does her husband do?' Lawyer. One of the governor's
supporters. Sally got started in politics through pinch-hitting for her husband
one campaign.' What is her official position up
here?' None. Right hand for the
governor. That's her strength. Sally has never held a patronage job, nor been
paid for her services.' After this build-up I was
anxious to meet the paragon. When she called I spoke to her over the house
phone and was about to say that I would come down to the lobby when she
announced that she was coming up, and hung up. I was a little startled at the
informality, not yet realizing that politicians did not regard hotel rooms as
bedrooms, but as business offices. When I let her in she said,
You're Archie Fraser, aren't you? I'm Sally Logan. Where's Joe?' He'll be back soon. Won't you
sit down and wait?' Thanks.' She plopped herself
into a chair, took off her hat and shook out her hair. I looked her over. I had unconsciously expected
something pretty formidable in the way of a mannish matron. What I saw was a
young, plump, cheerful-looking blonde, with an untidy mass of yellow hair and
frank blue eyes. She was entirely feminine, not over thirty at the outside, and
there was something about her that was tremendously reassuring. She made me think of county
fairs and well water and sugar cookies. I'm afraid this is going to be a
tough proposition,' she began at once. I didn't think there was much interest
in the matter, and I still don't think so, but just the same someone has a
solid bloc lined up for Assembly Bill 22 - that's the bill I wired Joe about.
What do you boys plan to do, make a straight fight to kill it or submit a
substitute bill?' Jedson drew up a fair-practices
act with the aid of some of our Half World friends and a couple of lawyers.
Would you like to see it?' Please. I stopped by the State
Printing Office and got a few copies of the bill you are against - AB 22. We'll
swap.' I was trying to translate the
foreign language lawyers use when they write statutes when Jedson came in. He
patted Sally's cheek without speaking, and she reached up and squeezed his hand
and went on with her reading. He commenced reading over my shoulder. I gave up
and let him have it. It made a set of building specifications look simple. Sally asked, What do you think
of it, Joe?' Worse than I expected,' he
replied. Take Paragraph 7-' I haven't read it yet.' So? Well, in the first place it
recognizes the association as a semipublic body like the Bar Association or the
Community Chest, and permits it to initiate actions before the commission. That
means that every magician had better by a damn sight belong to Ditworth's
association and be careful not to offend it., But how can that be legal?' I
asked. It sounds unconstitutional to me - a private association like that-' Plenty of precedent, son.
Corporations to promote world's fairs, for example. They're recognized, and
even voted tax money. As for unconstitutionality, you'd have to prove that the
law was not equal in application - which it isn't! - but awfully hard to
prove.' But, anyhow, a witch gets a
hearing before the commission?' Sure, but there is the rub. The
commission has very broad powers, almost unlimited powers over everything
connected with magic. The bill is filled with phrases like "reasonable and
proper , which means the sky's the limit, with nothing but the good sense and
decency of the commissioners to restrain them. That's my objection to
commissions in government - the law can never be equal in application under
them. They have delegated legislative powers, and the law is what they say it
is. You might as well face a drumhead court- martial. There are nine commissioners
provided for in this case, six of which must be licensed magicians,
first-class. I don't suppose it is necessary to point out that a few
ill-advised appointments to the original commission will turn it into a tight
little self-perpetuating oligarchy - through its power to license.' Sally and Joe were going over to
see a legislator whom they thought might sponsor our bill, so they dropped me
off at the capitol. I wanted to listen to some of the debate. It gave me a warm feeling to
climb up the big, wide steps of the statehouse. The old, ugly mass of masonry
seemed to represent something tough in the character of the American people,
the determination of free men to manage their own affairs. Our own current
problem seemed a little smaller, not quite so overpoweringly important - still
worth working on, but simply one example in a long history of the general
problem of self-government. I noticed something else as I
was approaching the great bronze doors; the contractor for the outer
construction of the building must have made his pile; the mix for the mortar
was not richer than one to six! I decided on the Assembly rather
than the Senate because Sally said they generally put on a livelier show. When
I entered the hall they were discussing a resolution to investigate the tarring
and feathering the previous month of three agricultural-worker organizers up
near the town of Six Points. Sally had remarked that it was on the calendar for
the day, but that it would not take long because the proponents of the
resolution did not really want it. However, the Central Labour Council had
passed a resolution demanding it, and the labour- supported members were stuck
with it. The reason why they could only
go through the motions of asking for an investigation was that the organizers
were not really human beings at all, but mandrakes, a fact that the state
council had not been aware of when they asked for an investigation. Since the
making of mandrakes is the blackest kind of black magic, and highly illegal,
they needed some way to drop it quietly. The use of mandrakes has always been
opposed by organized labour, because it displaces real men - men with families
to support. For the same reasons they oppose synthetic facsimiles and
homunculi. But it is well known that the unions are not above using mandrakes,
or mandragoras, as well as facsimiles, when it suits their purpose, such as for
pickets, pressure groups, and the like. I suppose they feel justified in
fighting fire with fire. Homunculi they can't use on account of their size,
since they are too small to be passed off as men. If Sally had not primed me, I
would not have understood what took place. Each of the labour members got up
and demanded in forthright terms a resolution to investigate. When they were
all through, someone proposed that the matter be tabled until the grand jury of
the county concerned held its next meeting. This motion was voted on without
debate and without a roll call; although practically no members were present
except those who had spoken in favour of the original resolution, the motion
passed easily. There was the usual crop of
oil-industry bills on the agenda, such as you read about in the newspapers
every time the legislature is in session. One of them was the next item on the
day's calendar - a bill which proposed that the governor negotiate a treaty
with the gnomes, under which the gnomes would aid the petroleum engineers in
prospecting and, in addition, would advise humans in drilling methods so as to
maintain the natural gas pressure underground needed to raise the oil to the
surface. I think that is the idea, but I am no petroleum engineer. The proponent spoke first. Mr
Speaker,' he said, I ask for a "Yes vote on this bill, A B 79. Its purpose
is quite simple and the advantages obvious. A very large part of the overhead
cost of recovering crude oil from the ground lies in the uncertainties of
prospecting and drilling. With the aid of the Little People this item can be
reduced to an estimated 7 per cent of its present dollar cost, and the price of
gasoline and other petroleum products to the people can be greatly lessened. The matter of underground gas
pressure is a little more technical, but suffice it to say that it takes, in
round numbers, a thousand cubic feet of natural gas to raise one barrel of oil
to the surface. If we can get intelligent supervision of drilling operations
far underground, where no human being can go, we can make the most economical
use of this precious gas pressure. The only rational objection to
this bill lies in whether or not we can deal with the gnomes on favourable
terms. I believe that we can, for the Administration has some excellent
connexions in the Hall World. The gnomes are willing to negotiate in order to
put a stop to the present condition of chaos in which human engineers drill
blindly, sometimes wrecking their homes and not infrequently violating their
sacred places. They not unreasonably claim everything under the surface as
their kingdom, but are willing to make any reasonable concession to abate what
is to them an intolerable nuisance. If this treaty works out well,
as it will, we can expect to arrange other treaties which will enable us to
exploit all of the metal and mineral resources of this state under conditions
highly advantageous to us and not hurtful to the gnomes. Imagine, if you
please, having a gnome with his X-ray eyes peer into a mountainside and locate
a rich vein of gold for you!' It seemed very reasonable,
except that, having once seen the king of the gnomes, I would not trust him
very far, unless Mrs Jennings did the negotiating. As soon as the proponent sat
down, another member jumped up and just as vigorously denounced it. He was
older than most of the members, and I judged him to be a country lawyer. His
accent placed him in the northern part of the state, well away from the oil
country. Mr Speaker,' he bellowed, I ask for a vote of "No! . Who would
dream that an American legislature would stoop to such degrading nonsense? Have
any of you ever seen a gnome? Have you any reason to believe that gnomes exist?
This is just a cheap piece of political chicanery to do the public out of its
proper share of the natural resources of our great state-' He was interrupted by a
question. Does the honourable member from Lincoln County mean to imply that he
has no belief in magic? Perhaps he does not believe in the radio or the
telephone either.' Not at all. If the Chair will
permit, I will state my position so clearly that even my respected colleague on
the other side of the house will understand it. There are certain remarkable
developments in human knowledge in general use which are commonly referred to
by the laity as magic. These principles are well understood and are taught, I
am happy to say, in our great publicly owned institutions for higher learning.
I have every respect for the legitimate practitioners thereof. But, as I
understand it, although I am not myself a practitioner of the great science,
there is nothing in it that requires a belief in the Little People. But let us stipulate, for the
sake of argument, that the Little People do exist. Is that any reason to pay
them blackmail? Should the citizens of this commonwealth pay cumshaw to the
denizens of the underworld-' He waited for his pun to be appreciated. It
wasn't. -for that which is legally and rightfully ours? If this ridiculous
principle is pushed to its logical conclusion, the farmers and dairymen I am
proud to number among my constituents will be required to pay toll to the elves
before they can milk their cows!' Someone slid into the seat
beside me. I glanced around, saw that it was Jedson, and questioned him with my
eyes. Nothing doing now,' he whispered. We've got some time to kill and might
as well do it here' - and he turned to the debate. Somebody had gotten up to reply
to the old duck with the Daniel Webster complex. Mr Speaker, if the honoured
member is quite through with his speech - I did not quite catch what office he
is running for! - I would like to invite the attention of this body to the
precedented standing in jurisprudence of elements of every nature, not only in
Mosaic law, Roman law, the English common law, but also in the appellate court
of our neighbouring state to the south. I am confident that anyone possessing
even an elementary knowledge of the law will recognize the case I have in mind
without citation, but for the benefit of-' Mr Speaker! I move to amend by
striking out the last word.' A stratagem to gain the floor,'
Joe whispered. Is it the purpose of the
honourable member who preceded me to imply-' It went on and on. I turned to
Jedson and asked, I can't figure out this chap who is speaking; a while ago he
was hollering about cows. What's he afraid of, religious prejudices?' Partly that; he's from a very
conservative district. But he's lined up with the independent oilmen. They
don't want the state setting the terms; they think they can do better dealing
with the gnomes directly.' But what interest has he got in
oil? There's no oil in his district.' No, but there is outdoor
advertising. The same holding company that controls the so-called independent
oilmen holds a voting trust in the Countryside Advertising Corporation. And
that can be awfully important to him around election time. The Speaker looked our way, and
an assistant sergeant at arms threaded his way towards us. We shut up. Someone
moved the order of the day, and the oil bill was put aside for one of the magic
bills that had already come out of committee. This was a bill to outlaw every
sort of magic, witchcraft, thaumaturgy. No one spoke for it but the
proponent, who launched into a diatribe that was more scholarly than logical.
He quoted extensively from Blackstone's Commentaries and the records of
the Massachusetts trials, and finished up with his head thrown back, one finger
waving wildly to heaven and shouting,' "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to
live! ' No one bothered to speak against
it; it was voted on immediately without roll call, and, to my complete
bewilderment, passed without a single nay! I turned to Jedson and found him
smiling at the expression on my face. It doesn't mean a thing,
Archie,' he said quietly. Huh?' He's a party wheel horse who had
to introduce that bill to please a certain bloc of his constituents.' You mean he doesn't believe in
the bill himself?' Oh no, he believes in it all
right, but he also knows it is hopeless. It has evidently been agreed to let
him pass it over here in the Assembly this session so that he would have
something to take home to his people. Now it will go to the senate committee
and die there; nobody will ever hear of it again.' I guess my voice carries too
well, for my reply got us a really dirty look from the Speaker. We got up
hastily and left. Once outside I asked Joe what
had happened that he was back so soon. He would not touch it,' he told me. Said
that he couldn't afford to antagonize the association.' Does that finish us?' Not at all. Sally and I are
going to see another member right after lunch. He's tied up in a committee
meeting at the moment.' We stopped in a restaurant where
Jedson had arranged to meet Sally Logan. Jedson ordered lunch, and I had a
couple of cans of devitalized beer, insisting on their bringing it to the booth
in the unopened containers. I don't like to get even a little bit tipsy,
although I like to drink. On another occasion I had paid for wizard-processed
liquor and had received intoxicating liquor instead. Hence the unopened
containers. I sat there, staring into my
glass and thinking about what I had heard that morning, especially about the
bill to outlaw all magic. The more I thought about it the better the notion
seemed. The country had gotten along all right in the old days before magic had
become popular and commercially widespread. It was unquestionably a headache in
many ways, even leaving out our present troubles with racketeers and
monopolists. Finally I expressed my opinion to Jedson. But he disagreed. According to
him prohibition never does work in any field. He said that anything which can
be supplied and which people want will he supplied - law or no law. To prohibit
magic would simply be to turn over the field to the crooks and the black
magicians. I see the drawbacks of magic as
well as you do,' he went on, but it is like firearms. Certainly guns made it
possible for almost anyone to commit murder and get away with it. But once they
were invented the damage was done. All you can do is to try to cope with it.
Things like the Sullivan Act - they didn't keep the crooks from carrying guns
and using them; they simply took guns out of the hands of honest people. It's the same with magic. If you
prohibit it, you take from decent people the enormous boons to be derived from
a knowledge of the great arcane laws, while the nasty, harmful secrets hidden
away in black grimoires and red grimoires will still be
bootlegged to anyone who will pay the price and has no respect for law. Personally, I don't believe
there was any less black magic practiced between, say, 1750 and 1950 than there
is now, or was before then. Take a look at Pennsylvania and the hex country.
Take a look at the Deep South. But since that time we have begun to have the
advantages of white magic too.' Sally came in, spotted us, and
slid into one side of the booth. My,' she said with a sigh of relaxation, I've
just fought my way across the lobby of the Constitution. The "third
house" is certainly out in full force this trip. I've never seen em so
thick, especially the women.' She means lobbyists, Archie,'
Jedson explained. Yes, I noticed them. I'd like to make a small bet that two
thirds of them are synthetic.' I thought I didn't
recognize many of them,' Sally commented. Are you sure, Joe?' Not entirely. But Bodie agrees
with me. He says that the women are almost all mandrakes, or androids of some
sort. Real women are never quite so perfectly beautiful - nor so tractable.
I've got him checking on them now.' In what way?' He says he can spot the work of
most of the magicians capable of that high-powered stuff. If possible we want
to prove that all these androids were made by Magic, Incorporated - though I'm
not sure just what use we can make of the fact. Bodie has even located some
zombies,' he added. Not really!' exclaimed Sally.
She wrinkled her nose and looked disgusted. Some people have odd tastes.' They started discussing aspects
of politics that I know nothing about, while Sally put away a very sizeable
lunch topped off by a fudge ice-cream cake slice. But I noticed that she
ordered from the left-hand side of the menu - all vanishing items, like the
alcohol in my beer. I found out more about the
situation as they talked. When a bill is submitted to the legislature, it is
first referred to a committee for hearings. Ditworth's bill, A B 22, had been
referred to the Committee on Professional Standards. Over in the Senate an
identical bill had turned up and had been referred by the lieutenant governor,
who presides in the Senate, to the Committee on Industrial Practices. Our immediate object was to find
a sponsor for our bill; if possible, one for each house, and preferably
sponsors who were members, in their respective houses, of the committees
concerned. All of this needed to be done before Ditworth's bills came up for
hearing. I went with them to see their
second-choice sponsor for the Assembly. He was not on the Professional
Standards Committee, but he was on the Ways and Means Committee, which meant
that he carried a lot of weight in any committee. He was a pleasant chap named
Spence - Luther B. Spence - and I could see that he was quite anxious to please
Sally - for past favours, I suppose. But they had no more luck with him than
with their first-choice man. He said that he did not have time to fight for our
bill, as the chairman of the Ways and Means Committee was sick and he was
chairman pro tem. Sally put it to him flatly. Look
here, Luther, when you have needed a hand in the past, you've got it from me. I
hate to remind a man of obligations, but you will recall that matter of the
vacancy last year on the Fish and Game Commission. Now I want action on this
matter, and not excuses!' Spence was plainly embarrassed.
Now, Sally, please don't feel like that. You're getting your feathers up over
nothing. You know I'll always do anything I can for you, but you don't really
need this, and it would necessitate my neglecting things that I can't afford to
neglect.' What do you mean, I don't need
it?' I mean you should not worry
about A B 22. It's a cinch bill.' Jedson explained that term to me
later. A cinch bill, he said, was a bill introduced for tactical reasons. The
sponsors never intended to try to get it enacted into law, but simply used it
as a bargaining point. It's like an asking price' in a business deal. Are you sure of that?' Why, yes, I think so. The word
has been passed around that there is another bill coming up that won't have the
bugs in it that this bill has.' After we left Spence's office,
Jedson said, Sally, I hope Spence is right, but I don't trust Ditworth's
intentions. He's out to get a stranglehold on the industry. I know it!' Luther usually has the correct
information, Joe.' Yes, that is no doubt true, but
this is a little out of his line. Anyhow, thanks, kid. You did your best.' Call on me if there is anything
else, Joe. And come Out to dinner before you go; you haven't seen Bill or the
kids yet.' I won't forget.' Jedson finally gave up as
impractical trying to submit our bill, and concentrated on the committees
handling Ditworth's bills. I did not see much of him. He would go out at four
in the afternoon to a cocktail party and get back to the hotel at three in the
morning, bleary-eyed, with progress to report. He woke me up the fourth night
and announced jubilantly, It's in the bag, Archie!' You killed those bills?' Not quite. I couldn't manage
that. But they will be reported out of committee so amended that we won't care
if they do pass. Furthermore, the amendments are different in each committee. Well, what of that?' That means that even if they do
pass their respective houses they will have to go to conference committee to
have their differences ironed out, then back for final passage in each house.
The chances of that this late in a short session are negligible. Those bills
are dead.' Jedson's predictions were
justified. The bills came out of committee with a do pass' recommendation late
Saturday evening. That was the actual time; the statehouse clock had been
stopped forty-eight hours before to permit first and second readings of an
administration must' bill. Therefore it was officially Thursday. I know that
sounds cockeyed, and it is, but I am told that every legislature in the country
does it towards the end of a crowded session. The important point is that,
Thursday or Saturday, the session would adjourn sometime that night. I watched
Ditworth's bill come up in the Assembly. It was passed, without debate, in the
amended form. I sighed with relief. About midnight Jedson joined me and
reported that the same thing had happened in the Senate. Sally was on watch in
the conference committee room, just to make sure that the bills stayed dead. Joe and I remained on watch in
our respective houses. There was probably no need for it, but it made us feel
easier. Shortly before two in the morning Bodie came in and said we were to
meet Jedson and Sally outside the conference committee room. What's that?' I said,
immediately all nerves. Has something slipped?' No, it's all right and it's all
over. Come on.' Joe answered my question, as I
hurried up with Bodie trailing, before I could ask it. It's OK, Archie. Sally
was present when the committee adjourned sine die, without acting on
those bills. It's all over; we've won!' We went over to the bar across
the street to have a drink in celebration. In spite of the late hour the
bar was moderately crowded. Lobbyists, local politicians, legislative attaches,
all the swarm of camp followers who throng the capitol whenever the legislature
is sitting - all such were still up and around, and many of them had picked
this bar as a convenient place to wait for news of adjournment. We were lucky to find a stool at
the bar for Sally. We three men made a tight little cluster around her and
tried to get the attention of the overworked bartender. We had just managed to
place our orders when a young man tapped on the shoulder of the customer on the
stool to the right of Sally. He immediately got down and left. I nudged Bodie
to tell him to take the seat. Sally turned to Joe. Well, it
won't be long now. There go the sergeants at arms.' She nodded towards the
young man, who was repeating the process farther down the line. What does that mean?' I asked
Joe. It means they are getting along
towards the final vote on the bill they were waiting on. They've gone to
"call of the house now, and the Speaker has ordered the sergeant at arms
to send his deputies out to arrest absent members.' Arrest them?' I was a little bit
shocked. Only technically. You see, the
Assembly has had to stall until the Senate was through with this bill, and most
of the members have wandered out for a bite to eat, or a drink. Now they are
ready to vote, so they round them up.' A fat man took a stool near us
which had just been vacated by a member. Sally said, Hello, Don.' He took a cigar from his mouth
and said, How are yuh, Sally? What's new? Say, I thought you were interested in
that bill on magic?' We were all four alert at once.
I am,' Sally admitted. What about it?' Well, then, you had better get
over there. They're voting on it right away. Didn't you notice the "call
of the house ?' I think we set a new record
getting across the street, with Sally leading the field in spite of her
plumpness. I was asking Jedson how it could be possible, and he shut me up
with, I don't know, man! We'll have to see.' We managed to find seats on the
main floor back of the rail. Sally beckoned to one of the pages she knew and
sent him up to the clerk's desk for a copy of the bill that was pending. In
front of the rail the Assembly men gathered in groups. There was a crowd around
the desk of the administration floor leader and a smaller cluster around the
floor leader of the opposition. The whips had individual members buttonholed
here and there, arguing with them in tense whispers. The page came back with the copy
of the bill. It was an appropriation bill for the Middle Counties Improvement
Project - the last of the must' bills for which the session had been called -
but pasted to it, as a rider, was Ditworth's bill in its original, most
damnable form! It had been added as an
amendment in the Senate, probably as a concession to Ditworth's stooges in
order to obtain their votes to make up the two-thirds majority necessary to
pass the appropriation bill to which it had been grafted. The vote came almost at once. It
was evident, early in the roll call, that the floor leader had his majority in
hand and that the bill would pass. When the clerk announced its passage, a
motion to adjourn sine die was offered by the opposition floor leader
and it was carried unanimously. The Speaker called the two floor leaders to his
desk and instructed them to wait on the governor and the presiding officer of
the Senate with notice of adjournment. The crack of his gavel released
us from stunned immobility. We shambled out. We got in to see the governor
late the next morning. The appointment, squeezed into an overcrowded calendar,
was simply a concession to Sally and another evidence of the high regard in
which she was held around the capitol. For it was evident that he did not want
to see us and did not have time to see us. But he greeted Sally affectionately
and listened, patiently while Jedson explained in a few words why we thought
the combined Ditworth-Middle Counties bill should be vetoed. The circumstances were not
favourable to reasoned expostulation. The governor was interrupted by two calls
that he had to take, one from his director of finance and one from Washington.
His personal secretary came in once and shoved a memorandum under his eyes, at
which the old man looked worried, then scrawled something on it and handed it
back. I could tell that his attention was elsewhere for some minutes after
that. When Jedson stopped talking, the
governor sat for a moment, looking down at his blotter pad, an expression of
deep- rooted weariness on his face. Then he answered in slow words, No, Mr
Jedson, I can't see it. I regret as much as you do that this business of the
regulation of magic has been tied in with an entirely different matter. But I cannot
veto part of a bill and sign the rest - even though the bill includes two
widely separated subjects. I appreciate the work you did to
help elect my administration' - I could see Sally's hand in that remark - and
wish that we could agree on this. But the Middle Counties Project is something
that I have worked towards since my inauguration. I hope and believe that it
will be the means whereby the most depressed area in our state can work out its
economic problems without further grants of public money. If I thought that the
amendment concerning magic would actually do a grave harm to the state-' He paused for a moment. But I
don't. When Mrs Logan called me this morning I had my legislative counsel analyze
the bill. I agree that the bill is unnecessary, but it seems to do nothing more
than add a little more bureaucratic red tape. That's not good, but we manage to
do business under a lot of it; a little more can't wreck things.' I butted in - rudely, I suppose
- but I was all worked up. But, Your Excellency, if you would just take time to
examine this matter yourself, in detail, you would see how much damage it will
do!' I would not have been surprised
if he had flared back at me. Instead, he indicated a file basket that was
stacked high and spilling over. Mr Fraser, there you see fifty-seven bills
passed by this session of the legislature. Every one of them has some defect.
Every one of them is of vital importance to some, or all of the people of this
state. Some of them are as long to read as an ordinary novel. In the next nine
days I must decide what ones shall become law and' what ones must wait for
revision at the next regular session. During that nine days at least a thousand
people will want me to see them about some one of those bills-' His aide stuck his head in the
door. Twelve-twenty, chief! You're on the air in forty minutes.' The governor nodded absently and
stood up. You will excuse me? I'm expected at a luncheon.' He turned to his
aide, who was getting out his hat and gloves from a closet. You have the
speech, Jim?' Of course, sir. Just a minute!' Sally had cut
in. Have you taken your tonic?' Not yet.' You're not going off to one of
those luncheons without it!' She ducked into his private washroom and came out
with a medicine bottle. Joe and I bowed out as quickly as possible. Outside I started fuming to
Jedson about the way we had been given the run-around, as I saw it. I made some
remark about dunderheaded, compromising politicians when Joe cut me short. Shut up, Archie! Try running a
state sometime instead of a small business and see how easy you find it!' I shut up. Bodie was waiting for us in the
lobby of the capitol. I could see that he was excited about something, for he
flipped away a cigarette and rushed towards us. Look!' he commanded. Down
there!' We followed the direction of his
finger and saw two figures just going out of the big doors. One was Ditworth,
the other was a well-known lobbyist with whom he had worked. What about it?'
Joe demanded. I was standing here behind this
phone booth, leaning against the wall and catching a cigarette. As you can see,
from here that big mirror reflects the bottom of the rotunda stairs. I kept an
eye on it for you fellows. I noticed this lobbyist, Sims, coming downstairs by
himself, but he was gesturing as if he were talking to somebody. That made me
curious, so I looked around the corner of the booth and saw him directly. He
was not alone; he was with Ditworth. I looked back at the mirror and he
appeared to be alone. Ditworth cast no reflection in the mirror!' Jedson snapped his fingers. A
demon!' he said in an amazed voice. And I never suspected it!' I am surprised that more
suicides don't occur on trains. When a man is down, I know of nothing more
depressing than staring at the monotonous scenery and listening to the
maddening lickety-tock of the rails. In a way I was glad to have this
new development of Ditworth's inhuman status to think about; it kept my mind
off poor old Feldstein and his thousand dollars. Startling as it was to discover
that Ditworth was a demon, it made no real change in the situation except to
explain the efficiency and speed with which we had been outmaneuvered and to
confirm as a certainty our belief that the racketeers and Magic, Incorporated,
were two heads of the same beast. But we had no way of proving that Ditworth
was a Half World monster. If we tried to haul him into court for a test, he was
quite capable of lying low and sending out a facsimile, or a mandrake, built to
look like him and immune to the mirror test. We dreaded going back and
reporting our failure to the committee - at least I did. But at least we were
spared that. The Middle Counties Act carried an emergency clause which put it
into effect the day it was signed. Ditworth's bill, as an amendment, went into
action with the same speed. The newspapers on sale at the station when we got
off the train carried the names of the new commissioners for thaumaturgy. Nor did the commission waste any
time in making its power felt. They announced their intention of raising the
standards of magical practice in all fields, and stated that new and more
thorough examinations would be prepared at once. The association formerly
headed by Ditworth opened a coaching school in which practising magicians could
take a refresher course in thaumaturgic principles and arcane law. In
accordance with the high principles set forth in their charter, the school was
not restricted to members of the association. That sounds bighearted of the
association. It wasn't. They managed to convey a strong impression in their
classes that membership in the association would be a big help in passing the
new examinations. Nothing you could put your finger on to take into court -
just a continuous impression. The association grew. A couple of weeks later all licenses
were cancelled and magicians were put on a day-to-day basis in their practice,
subject to call for re-examination at a day's notice. A few of the outstanding
holdouts against signing up with Magic, Incorporated, were called up, examined,
and licenses refused them. The squeeze was on. Mrs Jennings quietly withdrew
from any practice. Bodie came around to see me; I had an uncompleted contract
with him involving some apartment houses. Here's your contract, Archie,'
he said bitterly. I'll need some time to pay the penalties for noncompletion;
my bond was revoked when they cancelled the licenses.' I took the contract and tore it
in two. Forget that talk about penalties,' I told him. You take your
examinations and we'll write a new contract.~ He laughed unhappily. Don't be a
Pollyanna.' I changed my tack. What are you
going to do? Sign up with Magic, Incorporated?' He straightened himself up. I've
never temporized with demons; I won't start now.' Good boy,' I said. Well, if the
eating gets uncertain, I reckon we can find a job of some sort here for you.' It was a good thing that Bodie
had some money saved, for I was a little too optimistic in my offer. Magic,
Incorporated, moved quickly into the second phase of their squeeze, and it
began to be a matter of speculation as to whether I myself would eat regularly.
There were still quite a number of licensed magicians in town who were not
employed by Magic, Incorporated - it would have been an evident, actionable frame-up
to freeze out everyone - but those available were all incompetent bunglers, not
fit to mix a philter. There was no competent, legal magical assistance to be
got at any price - except through Magic, Incorporated. I was forced to fall back on
old-fashioned methods in every respect. Since I don't use much magic in any
case, it was possible for me to do that, but it was the difference between
making money and losing money. I had put Feldstein on as a
salesman after his agency folded up under him. He turned out to be a crackajack
and helped to reduce the losses. He could smell a profit even farther than I
could - farther than Dr Worthington could smell a witch. But most of the other
businessmen around me were simply forced to capitulate. Most of them used magic
in at least one phase of their business; they had their choice of signing a
contract with Magic, Incorporated, or closing their doors. They had wives and
kids - they signed. The fees for thaumaturgy were
jacked up until they were all the traffic would bear, to the point where it was
just cheaper to do business with magic than without it. The magicians got none
of the new profits; it all stayed with the corporation. As a matter of fact,
the magicians got less of the proceeds than when they had operated
independently, but they took what they could get and were glad of the chance to
feed their families. Jedson was hard hit -
disastrously hit. He held out, naturally, preferring honourable bankruptcy to
dealing with demons, but he used magic throughout his business. He was through.
They started by disqualifying August Welker, his foreman, then cut off the rest
of his resources. It was intimated that Magic, Incorporated, did not care to
deal with him, even had he wished it. We were all over at Mrs
Jennings's late one afternoon for tea - myself, Jedson, Bodie, and Dr Royce
Worthington, the witch smeller. We tried to keep the conversation away from our
troubles, but we just could not do it. Anything that was said led back somehow
to Ditworth and his damnable monopoly. After Jack Bodie had spent ten
minutes explaining carefully and mendaciously that he really did not mind being
out of witchcraft, that he did not have any real talent for it, and had only
taken it up to please his old man, I tried to change the subject. Mrs Jennings
had been listening to Jack with such pity and compassion in her eyes that I
wanted to bawl myself. I turned to Jedson and said
inanely, How is Miss Megeath?' She was the white witch from
Jersey City, the one who did creative magic in textiles. I had no special
interest in her welfare. He looked up with a start.
Ellen? She's ... she's all right. They took her licence away a month ago,' he
finished lamely. That was not the direction I
wanted the talk to go. I turned it again. Did she ever manage to do that
whole-garment stunt?' He brightened a little. Why,
yes, she did - once. Didn't I tell you about it?' Mrs Jennings showed polite
curiosity, for which I silently thanked her. Jedson explained to the others
what they had been trying to accomplish. She really succeeded too well,' he
continued. Once she had started, she kept right on, and we could not bring her
out of her trance. She turned out over thirty thousand little striped sports
dresses, all the same size and pattern. My lofts were loaded with them. Nine
tenths of them will melt away before I dispose of them. But she won't try it again,' he
added. Too hard on her health.' How?' I inquired. Well, she lost ten pounds doing
that one stunt. She's not hardy enough for magic. What she really needs is to
go out to Arizona and lie around in the sun for a year. I wish to the Lord I
had the money. I'd send her.' I cocked an eyebrow at him.
Getting interested, Joe?' Jedson is an inveterate bachelor, but it pleases me
to pretend otherwise. He generally plays up, but this time he was downright
surly. It showed the abnormal state of nerves he was in. Oh, for cripes' sake, Archie!
Excuse me, Mrs Jennings! But can't I take a normal humane interest in a person
without you seeing an ulterior motive in it?' Sorry.' That's all right.' He grinned. I
shouldn't be so touchy. Anyhow, Ellen and I have cooked up an invention between
us that might be a solution for all of us. I'd been intending to show it to all
of you just as soon as we had a working model. Look, folks!' He drew what
appeared to be a fountain pen Out of a vest pocket and handed it to me. What is it? A pen?' No.' A fever thermometer?' No. Open it up.' I unscrewed the cap and found
that it contained a miniature parasol. It opened and closed like a real
umbrella, and was about three inches across when opened. It reminded me of one
of those clever little Japanese favours one sometimes gets at parties, except
that it seemed to be made of oiled silk and metal instead of tissue paper and
bamboo. Pretty,' I said, and very
clever. What's it good for?' Dip it in water.' I looked around for some. Mrs
Jennings poured some into an empty cup, and I dipped it in. It seemed to crawl in my hands. In less than thirty seconds I
was holding a full-sized umbrella in my hands and looking as silly as I felt.
Bodie smacked a palm with a fist. It's a lulu, Joe! I wonder why
somebody didn't think of it before.' Jedson accepted congratulations
with a fatuous grin, then added, That's not all - look.' He pulled a small
envelope out of a pocket and produced a tiny transparent raincoat, suitable for
a six-inch doll. This is the same gag. And this.' He hauled out a pair of
rubber overshoes less than an inch long. A man could wear these as a watch fob,
or a woman could carry them on a charm bracelet. Then, with either the umbrella
or the raincoat, one need never be caught in the rain. The minute the rain hits
them, presto! - full size. When they dry out they shrink up.' We passed them around from hand
to hand and admired them. Joe went on. Here's what I have in mind. This
business needs a magician - that's you, Jack - and a merchandiser - that's you,
Archie. It has two major stockholders: that's Ellen and me. She can go take the
rest cure she needs, and I'll retire and resume my studies, same as I always
wanted to.' My mind immediately started
turning over the commercial possibilities, then I suddenly saw the hitch. Wait
a minute, Joe. We can't set up business in this state.' No.' It will take some capital to
move out of the state. How are you fixed? Frankly, I don't believe I could
raise a thousand dollars if I liquidated.' He made a wry face. Compared
with me you are rich.' I got up and began wandering
nervously around the room. We would just have to raise the money somehow. It
was too good a thing to be missed, and would rehabilitate all of us. It was
clearly patentable, and I could see commercial possibilities that would never
occur to Joe. Tents for camping, canoes, swimming suits, traveling gear of
every sort. We had a gold mine. Mrs Jennings interrupted in her
sweet and gentle voice. I am not sure it will be too easy to find a state in
which to operate.' Excuse me, what did you say?' Dr Royce and I have been making
some inquiries. I am afraid you will find the rest of the country about as well
sewed up as this state.' What! Forty-eight states?' Demons don't have the same
limitations in time that we have.' That brought me up short.
Ditworth again. Gloom settled down on us like
fog. We discussed it from every angle and came right back to where we had
started. It was no help to have a clever, new business; Ditworth had us shut
out of every business. There was an awkward silence. I finally broke it with an
outburst that surprised myself. Look here!' I exclaimed. This situation is
intolerable. Let's quit kidding ourselves and admit it. As long as Ditworth is
in control we're whipped. Why don't we do something?' Jedson gave me a pained smile.
God knows I'd like to, Archie, if I could think of anything useful to do.' But we know who our enemy is -
Ditworth! Let's tackle him - legal or not, fair means or dirty!' But that is just the point. Do
we know our enemy? To be sure, we know he is a demon, but what demon, and
where? Nobody has seen him in weeks.' Huh? But I thought just the
other day-' Just a dummy, a hollow shell.
The real Ditworth is somewhere out of sight.' But, look, if he is a demon,
can't he be invoked, and compelled-' Mrs Jennings answered this time.
Perhaps - though it's uncertain and dangerous. But we lack one essential - his
name. To invoke a demon you must know his real name, otherwise he will not obey
you, no matter how powerful the incantation. I have been searching the Half
World for weeks, but I have not learned that necessary name.' Dr Worthington cleared his
throat with a rumble as deep as a cement mixer, and volunteered, My abilities
are at your disposal, if I can help to abate this nuisance-' Mrs Jennings thanked him. I
don't see how we can use you as yet, Doctor. I knew we could depend on you.' Jedson said suddenly, White
prevails over black.' She answered, Certainly.' Everywhere?' Everywhere, since darkness is
the absence of light.' He went on, It is not good for
the white to wait on the black.' It is not good.' With my brother Royce to help,
we might carry light into darkness.' She considered this. It is
possible, yes. But very dangerous.' You have been there?' On occasion. But you are not I,
nor are these others.' Everyone seemed to be following
the thread of the conversation but me. I interrupted with, Just a minute,
please. Would it be too much to explain what you are talking about?' There was no rudeness intended,
Archibald,' said Mrs Jennings in a voice that made it all right. Joseph has
suggested that, since we are stalemated here, we make a sortie into the Half
World, smell out this demon, and attack him on his home ground.' It took me a moment to grasp the
simple audacity of the scheme. Then I said, Fine! Let's get on with it. When do
we start?' They lapsed back into a
professional discussion that I was unable to follow. Mrs Jennings dragged out
several musty volumes and looked up references on points that were sheer
Sanskrit to me. Jedson borrowed her almanac, and he and the doctor stepped out
into the back yard to observe the moon. Finally it settled down into an
argument - or rather discussion; there could be no argument, as they all
deferred to Mrs Jennings's judgment concerning liaison. There seemed to be no
satisfactory way to maintain contact with the real world, and Mrs Jennings was
unwilling to start until it was worked out. The difficulty was this: not being
black magicians, not having signed a compact with Old Nick, they were not
citizens of the Dark Kingdom and could not travel through it with certain
impunity. Bodie turned to Jedson. How
about Ellen Megeath?' he inquired doubtfully. Ellen? Why, yes, of course. She
would do it. I'll telephone her. Mrs Jennings, do any of your neighbours have a
phone?' Never mind,' Bodie told him,
just think about her for a few minutes so that I can get a line-' He stared at
Jedson's face for a moment, then disappeared suddenly. Perhaps three minutes later Ellen
Megeath dropped lightly out of nothing. Mr Bodie will be along in a few
minutes,' she said. He stopped to buy a packet of cigarettes.' Jedson took her
over and presented her to Mrs Jennings. She did look sickly, and I could
understand Jedson's concern. Every few minutes she would swallow and choke a
little, as if bothered by an enlarged thyroid. As soon as Jack was back they
got right down to details. He had explained to Ellen what they planned to do,
and she was entirely willing. She insisted that one more session of magic would
do her no harm. There was no advantage in waiting; they prepared to depart at
once. Mrs Jennings related the marching orders. Ellen, you will need to follow
me in trance, keeping in close rapport. I think you will find that couch near
the fireplace a good place to rest your body. Jack, you will remain here and
guard the portal.' The chimney of Mrs Jennings's living room fireplace was to
be used as most convenient. You will keep in touch with us through Ellen.' But, Granny, I'll be needed in
the Half-' No, Jack.' She was gently firm.
You are needed here much more. Someone has to guard the way and help us back,
you know. Each to his task.' He muttered a bit, but gave in.
She went on, I think that is all. Ellen and Jack here; Joseph, Royce, and
myself to make the trip. You will have nothing to do but wait, Archibald, but
we won't be longer than ten minutes, world time, if we are to come back.' She
bustled away towards the kitchen, saying something about the unguent and
calling back to Jack to have the candles ready. I hurried after her. 'What do you mean, I demanded,
about me having nothing to do but wait? I'm going along!' She turned and looked at me
before replying, troubled concern in her magnificent eyes. I don't see how that
can be, Archibald.' Jedson had followed us and now
took me by the arm. See here, Archie, do be sensible. It's utterly out of the
question. You're not a magician.' I pulled away from him. Neither
are you.' Not in a technical sense,
perhaps, but I know enough to be useful. Don't be a stubborn fool, man; if you
come, you'll simply handicap us.' That kind of an argument is hard
to answer and manifestly unfair. How?' I persisted. Hell's bells, Archie, you're
young and strong and willing, and there is no one I would rather have at my
back in a roughhouse, but this is not a job for courage, or even intelligence
alone. It calls for special knowledge and experience.' Well,' I answered, Mrs Jennings
has enough of that for a regiment. But - if you'll pardon me, Mrs Jennings! -
she is old and feeble. I'll be her muscles if her strength fails.' Joe looked faintly amused, and I
could have kicked him. But that is not what is required in-' Dr Worthington's double-bass
rumble interrupted him from somewhere behind us. It occurs to me, brother, that
there may possibly be a use for our young friend's impetuous ignorance. There
are times when wisdom is too cautious.' Mrs Jennings put a stop to it.
Wait - all of you,' she commanded, and trotted over to a kitchen cupboard. This
she opened, moved aside a package of rolled oats, and took down a small leather
sack. It was filled with slender sticks. She cast them on the floor, and
the three of them huddled around the litter, studying the patterns. Cast them
again,' Joe insisted. She did so. I saw Mrs Jennings and the
doctor nod solemn agreement to each other. Jedson shrugged and turned away. Mrs
Jennings addressed me, concern in her eyes. You will go,' she said softly. It
is not safe, but you will go.' We wasted no more time. The
unguent was heated and we took turns rubbing it on each other's backbone.
Bodie, as gatekeeper, sat in the midst of his pentacles, mekagrans, and runes,
and intoned monotonously from the great book. Worthington elected to go in his
proper person, ebony in a breechcloth, parasymbols scribed on him from head to
toe, his grandfather's head cradled in an elbow. There was some discussion before
they could decide on a final form for Joe, and the metamorphosis was checked
and changed several times. He finished up with paper-thin grey flesh stretched
over an obscenely distorted skull, a sloping back, the thin flanks of an
animal, and a long, boy tail, which he twitched incessantly. But the whole
composition was near enough to human to create a revulsion much greater than
would be the case for a more outlandish shape. I gagged at the sight of him,
but he was pleased. There!' he exclaimed in a voice like scratched tin. You've
done a beautiful job, Mrs Jennings. Asmodeus would not know me from his own
nephew.' I trust not,' she said. Shall we
go?' How about Archie?' It suits me to leave him as he
is.' Then how about your own
transformation?' I'll take care of that,' she
answered, somewhat tartly. Take your places.' Mrs Jennings and I rode double
on the same broom, with me in front, facing the candle stuck in the straws.
I've noticed All Hallow's Eve decorations which show the broom with the handle
forward and the brush trailing. That is a mistake. Custom is important in these
matters. Royce and Joe were to follow close behind us. Seraphin leaped quickly
to his mistress' shoulder and settled himself, his whiskers quivering with
eagerness. Bodie pronounced the word, our
candle flared up high, and we were off. I was frightened nearly to
panic, but tried not to show it as I clung to the broom. The fireplace gaped at
us, and swelled to a monster arch. The fire within roared up like a burning
forest and swept us along with it. As we swirled up I caught a glimpse of a
salamander dancing among the flames, and felt sure that it was my own - the one
that had honoured me with its approval and sometimes graced my new fireplace.
It seemed a good omen. We had left the portal far
behind - if the word behind' can be used in a place where directions are
symbolic - the shrieking din of the fire was no longer with us, and I was
beginning to regain some part of my nerve. I felt a reassuring hand at my
waist, and turned my head to speak to Mrs Jennings. I nearly fell off the broom. When we left the house there had
mounted behind me an old, old woman, a shrunken, wizened body kept alive by an
indomitable spirit. She whom I now saw was a young woman, strong, perfect, and
vibrantly beautiful. There is no way to describe her; she was without defect of
any sort, and imagination could suggest no improvement. Have you ever seen the bronze
Diana of the Woods? She was something like that, except that metal cannot catch
the live dynamic beauty that I saw. But it was the same woman! Mrs Jennings - Amanda Todd, that
was - at perhaps her twenty-fifth year, when she had reached the full maturity
of her gorgeous womanhood, and before time had softened the focus of
perfection. I forgot to be afraid. I forgot
everything except that I was in the presence of the most compelling and dynamic
female had ever known. I forgot that she was at least sixty years older than
myself, and that her present form was simply a triumph of sorcery. I suppose if
anyone had asked me at that time if I were in love with Amanda Jennings, I
would have answered, Yes!' But at the time my thoughts were much too confused
to be explicit. She was there, and that was sufficient. She smiled, and her eyes were
warm with understanding. She spoke, and her voice was the voice I knew, even though
it was rich contralto in place of the accustomed clear, thin soprano. Is
everything all right, Archie?' Yes,' I answered in a shaky
voice. Yes, Amanda, everything is all right!' As for the Half World- How can I
describe a place that has no single matching criterion with what I have known?
How can I speak of things for which no words have been invented? One tells of
things unknown in terms of things which are known. Here there is no
relationship by which to link; all is irrelevant. All I can hope to do is tell
how matters affected my human senses, how events influenced my human emotions,
knowing that there are two falsehoods involved - the falsehood I saw and felt,
and the falsehood that I tell. I have discussed this matter
with Jedson, and he agrees with me that the difficulty is insuperable, yet some
things may be said with a partial element of truth - truth of a sort, with
respect to how the Half World impinged on me. There is one striking difference
between the real world and the Half World. In the real world there are natural
laws which persist through changes of custom and culture; in the Half World
only custom has any degree of persistence, and of natural law there is none.
Imagine, if you please, a condition in which the head of a state might repeal
the law of gravitation and have his decree really effective - a place where
King Canute could order back the sea and have the waves obey him. A place where
up' and down' were matters of opinion, and directions might read as readily in
days or colours as in miles. And yet it was not a meaningless anarchy, for they
were constrained to obey their customs as unavoidably as we comply with the
rules of natural phenomena. We made a sharp turn to the left
in the formless greyness that surrounded us in order to survey the years for a
sabbat meeting. It was Amanda's intention to face the Old One with the matter
directly rather than to search aimlessly through ever changing mazes of the
Half World for a being hard to identify at best. Royce picked Out the sabbat,
though I could see nothing until we let the ground come up to meet us and
proceeded on foot. Then there was light and form. Ahead of us, perhaps a
quarter of a mile away, was an eminence surmounted by a great throne which
glowed red through the murky air. I could not make out clearly the thing seated
there, but I knew it was himself' - our ancient enemy. We were no longer alone. Life -
sentient, evil undeadness - boiled around us and fogged the air and crept out
of the ground. The ground itself twitched and pulsated as we walked over it.
Faceless things sniffed and nibbled at our heels. We were aware of unseen
presences about us in the fog-shot gloom: beings that squeaked, grunted, and
sniggered; voices that were slobbering whimpers, that sucked and retched and
bleated. They seemed vaguely disturbed by
our presence - Heaven knows that I was terrified by them! - for I could hear
them flopping and shuffling out of our path, then closing cautiously in behind,
as they bleated warnings to one another. A shape floundered into our path
and stopped, a shape with a great bloated head and moist, limber arms. Back!'
it wheezed. Go back! Candidates for witchhood apply on the lower level.' It did
not speak English, but the words were clear. Royce smashed it in the face and
we stamped over it, its chalky bones crunching underfoot. It pulled itself
together again, whining its submission, then scurried out in front of us and
thereafter gave us escort right up to the great throne. That's the only way to treat
these beings,' Joe whispered in my ear. Kick em in the teeth first, and they'll
respect you.' There was a clearing before the throne which was crowded with
black witches, black magicians, demons in every foul guise, and lesser unclean
things. On the left side the cauldron boiled. On the right some of the company
were partaking of the witches' feast. I turned my head away from that. Directly
before the throne, as custom calls for, the witches' dance was being performed
for the amusement of the Goat. Some dozens of men and women, young and old,
comely and hideous, cavorted and leaped in impossible acrobatic adagio. The dance ceased and they gave
way uncertainly before us as we pressed up to the throne. What's this? What's
this?' came a husky, phlegm-filled voice. It's my little sweetheart! Come up
and sit beside me, my sweet! Have you come at last to sign my compact?' Jedson grasped my arm; I checked
my tongue. I'll stay where I am,' answered
Amanda in a voice crisp with contempt. As for your compact, you know better.' Then why are you here? And why
such odd companions.' He looked down at us from the vantage of his
throne, slapped hairy thigh and laughed immoderately. Royce stirred and
muttered; his grandfather's head chattered in wrath. Seraphhi spat. Jedson and Amanda put their
heads together for a moment, then she answered, By the treaty with Adam, I
claim the right to examine. He chuckled, and the little
devils around him covered their ears. You claim privileges here? With no
compact?' Your customs,' she answered
sharply. Ah yes, the customs! Since you
invoke them, so let it be. And whom would you examine?' I do not know his name. He is
one of your demons who has taken improper liberties outside your sphere.' One of my demons, and you know
not his name? I have seven million demons, my pretty. Will you examine them one
by one, or all together?' His sarcasm was almost the match of her contempt. All together.' Never let it be said that I
would not oblige a guest. If you will go forward - let me see - exactly five
months and three days, you will find my gentlemen drawn up for inspection.' I do not recollect how we got
there. There was a great, brown plain, and no sky. Drawn up in military order
for review by their evil lord were all the fiends of the Half World, legion on
legion, wave after wave. The Old One was attended by his cabinet; Jedson
pointed them out to me - Lucifugй, the prime minister; Sataniacha, field
marshal; Beelzebub and Leviathan, wing commanders; Ashtoreth, Abaddon, Mammon,
Theutus, Asmodeus, and Incubus, the Fallen Thrones. The seventy princes each
commanded a division, and each remained with his command, leaving only the
dukes and the thrones to attend their lord, Satan Mekratrig. He himself still appeared as the
Goat, but his staff took every detestable shape they fancied. Asmodeus sported
three heads, each evil and each different, rising out of the hind quarters of a
swollen dragon. Mammon resembled, very roughly, a particularly repulsive
tarantula. Ashtoreth I cannot describe at all. Only the Incubus affected a
semblance of human form, as the only vessel adequate to display his
lecherousness. The Goat glanced our way. Be
quick about it,' he demanded. We are not here for your amusement.' Amanda ignored him, but led us
towards the leading squadron. Come back!' he bellowed. And indeed we were back;
our steps had led us no place. You ignore the custom. Hostages first!' Amanda bit her lip. Admitted,'
she retorted, and consulted briefly with Royce and Jedson. I caught Royce's
answer to some argument. Since I am to go,' he said, it
is best that I choose my companion, for reasons that are sufficient to me. My
grandfather advises me to take the youngest. That one, of course, is Fraser.' What's this?' I said when my
name was mentioned. I had been rather pointedly left out of all the
discussions, but this was surely my business. Royce wants you to go with him
to smell out Ditworth,' explained Jedson. And leave Amanda here with these
fiends? I don't like it.' I can look out for myself,
Archie,' she said quietly. If Dr Worthington wants you, you can help me most by
going with him.' What is this hostage stuff?' Having demanded the right of
examination,' she explained, you must bring back Ditworth - or the hostages are
forfeit.' Jedson spoke up before I could
protest. Don't be a hero, son. This is serious. You can serve us all best by
going. If you two don't come back, you can bet that they'll have a fight on
their hands before they claim their forfeit!' I went. Worthington and I had hardly
left them before I realized acutely that what little peace of mind I had came
from the nearness of Amanda. Once out of her immediate influence the whole
mind-twisting horror of the place and its grisly denizens hit me. I felt
something rub against my ankles and nearly jumped out of my shoes. But when I
looked down I saw that Seraphin, Amanda's cat, had chosen to follow me. After
that things were better with me. Royce assumed his dog pose when
we came to the first rank of demons. He first handed me his grandfather's head.
Once I would have found that mummified head repulsive to touch; it seemed a
friendly, homey thing here. Then he was down on all fours, scalloping in and
out of the ranks of infernal warriors. Seraphin scampered after him, paired up
and hunted with him. The hound seemed quite content to let the cat do half the
work, and I have no doubt he was justified. I walked as rapidly as possible
down the aisles between adjacent squadrons while the animals cast out from side
to side. It seems to me that this went on
for many hours, certainly so long that fatigue changed to a wooden automatism
and horror died down to a dull unease. I learned not to look at the eyes of the
demons, and was no longer surprised at any outre shape. Squadron by squadron, division
by division, we combed them, until at last, coming up the left wing, we reached
the end. The animals had been growing increasingly nervous. When they had
completed the front rank of the leading squadron, the hound trotted up to me
and whined. I suppose he sought his grandfather, but I reached down and patted
his head. Don't despair, old friend,' I
said, we have still these.' I motioned towards the generals, princes all, who
were posted before their divisions. Coming up from the rear as we had, we had
yet to examine the generals of the leading divisions on the left wing. But
despair already claimed me; what were half a dozen possibilities against an
eliminated seven million? The dog trotted away to the post
of the nearest general, the cat close beside him, while I followed as rapidly
as possible. He commenced to yelp before he was fairly up to the demon, and I
broke into a run. The demon stirred and commenced to metamorphose. But even in
this strange shape there was something familiar about it. Ditworth!' I yelled,
and dived for him. I felt myself buffeted by
leather wings, raked by claws. Royce came to my aid, a dog no longer, but two
hundred pounds of fighting Negro. The cat was a ball of fury, teeth, and claws.
Nevertheless, we would have been lost, done in completely, had not an amazing
thing happened. A demon broke ranks and shot towards us. I sensed him rather
than saw him, and thought that he had come to succour his master, though I had
been assured that their customs did not permit it. But he helped us - us, his
natural enemies - and attacked with such vindictive violence that the gauge was
turned to our favour. Suddenly it was all over. I
found myself on the ground, clutching at not a demon prince but Ditworth in his
pseudo- human form - a little mild businessman, dressed with restrained
elegance, complete to briefcase, spectacles, and thinning hair. Take that thing off me,' he said
testily. That thing' was grandfather, who was clinging doggedly with toothless
gums to his neck. Royce spared a hand from the
task of holding Ditworth and resumed possession of his grandfather. Seraphin
stayed where he was, claws dug into our prisoner's leg. The demon who had rescued us was
still with us. He had Ditworth by the shoulders, talons dug into their bases. I
cleared my throat and said, I believe we owe this to you-' I had not the
slightest notion of the proper thing to say. I think the situation was utterly
without precedent. The demon made a grimace that
may have been intended to be friendly, but which I found frightening. Let me
introduce myself,' he said in English. I'm Federal Agent William Kane, Bureau
of Investigation.' I think that was what made me
faint. I came to, lying on my back.
Someone had smeared a salve on my wounds and they were hardly stiff, and not
painful in the least, but I was mortally tired. There was talking going on
somewhere near me. I turned my head and saw all the members of my party
gathered together. Worthington and the friendly demon who claimed to be a G-man
held Ditworth between them, facing Satan. Of all the mighty infernal army I saw
no trace. So it was my nephew Nebiros,'
mused the Goat, shaking his head and clucking. Nebiros, you are a bad lad and
I'm proud of you. But I'm afraid you will have to try your strength against
their champion now that they have caught you.' He addressed Amanda. Who is your
champion, my dear?' The friendly demon spoke up.
That sounds like my job.' I think not,' countered Amanda.
She drew him to one side and whispered intently. Finally he shrugged his wings
and gave in. Amanda rejoined the group. I
struggled to my feet and came up to them. A trial to the death, I think,' she
was saying. Are you ready, Nebiros?' I was stretched between heart-stopping
fear for Amanda and a calm belief that she could do anything she attempted.
Jedson saw my face and shook his head. I was not to interrupt. But Nebiros had no stomach for
it. Still in his Ditworth form and looking ridiculously human, he turned to the
Old One. I dare not, Uncle. The outcome is certain. Intercede for me.' Certainly, Nephew. I had rather
hoped she would destroy you. You'll trouble me someday.' Then to Amanda, Shall
we say... ah.. . ten thousand thousand years?' Amanda gathered our votes with
her eyes, including me, to my proud pleasure, and answered, So be it.' It was
not a stiff sentence as such things go, I'm told - about equal to six months in
jail in the real world - but he had not offended their customs; he had simply
been defeated by white magic. Old Nick brought down one arm in
an emphatic gesture. There was a crashing roar and a burst of light and
DitworthNebiros was spread-eagled before us on a mighty boulder, his limbs
bound with massive iron chains. He was again in demon form. Amanda and
Worthington examined the bonds. She pressed a seal ring against each hasp and
nodded to the Goat. At once the boulder receded with great speed into the
distance until it was gone from sight. That seems to be about all, and
I suppose you will be going now,' announced the Goat. All except this one-' He
smiled at the demon G-man. I have plans for him.' No.' Amanda's tone was flat. What's that, my little one? He
has not the protection of your party, and he has offended our customs.' No!' Really, I must insist.' Satan Mekratrig,' she said
slowly, do you wish to try your strength with me?' With you, madame?' He looked at
her carefully, as if inspecting her for the first time. Well, it's been a
trying day, hasn't it? Suppose we say no more about it. Till another time,
then-' He was gone. The demon faced her. Thanks,' he
said simply. I wish I had a hat to take off.' He added anxiously, Do you know
your way out of here?' Don't you?' No, that's the trouble. Perhaps
I should explain myself. I'm assigned to the antimonopoly division; we got a
line on this chap Ditworth, or Nebiros. I followed him in here, thinking he was
simply a black wizard and that I could use his portal to get back. By the time
I knew better it was too late, and I was trapped. I had about resigned myself to
an eternity as a fake demon.' I was very much interested in
his story. I knew, of course, that all G-men are either lawyers, magicians, or
accountants, but all that I had ever met were accountants. This calm assumption
of incredible dangers impressed me and increased my already high opinion of
Federal agents. You may use our portal to
return,' Anianda said. Stick close to us.' Then to the rest of us, Shall we go
now?' Jack Bodie was still intoning
the lines from the book when we landed. Eight and a half minutes,' he
announced, looking at his wrist watch. Nice work. Did you turn the trick?' Yes, we did,' acknowledged
Jedson, his voice muffled by the throes of his remetamorphosis. Everything
that-' But Bodie interrupted. Bill Kane
- you old scoundrel!' he shouted. How did you get in on this party?' Our demon
had shucked his transformation on the way and landed in his natural form -
lean, young, and hard-bitten, in a quiet grey suit and snap-brim hat. Hi, Jack,' he acknowledged. I'll
look you up tomorrow and tell you all about it. Got to report in now.' With
which he vanished. Ellen was out of her trance, and
Joe was bending solicitously over her to see how she had stood up under it. I
looked around for Amanda. Then I heard her out in the
kitchen and hurried out there. She looked up and smiled at me, her lovely young
face serene and coolly beautiful. Amanda,' I said, Amanda-' I suppose I had the subconscious
intention of kissing her, making love to her. But it is very difficult to start
anything of that sort unless the woman in the case in some fashion indicates
her willingness. She did not. She was warmly friendly, but there was a barrier
of reserve I could not cross. Instead, I followed her around the kitchen,
talking inconsequentially, while she made hot cocoa and toast for all of us. When we rejoined the others I
sat and let my cocoa get cold, staring at her with vague frustration in my
heart while Jedson told Ellen and Jack about our experiences. He took Ellen
home shortly thereafter, and Jack followed them out. When Amanda came back from
telling them goodnight at the door, Dr Royce was stretched out on his back on
the hearthrug, with Seraphin curled up on his broad chest. They were both
snoring softly. I realized suddenly that I was wretchedly tired. Amanda saw it,
too, and said, Lie down on the couch for a little and nap if you can.' I needed no urging. She came
over and spread a shawl over me and kissed me tenderly. I heard her going
upstairs as I fell asleep. I was awakened by sunlight
striking my face. Seraphin was sitting in the window, cleaning himself. Dr
Worthington was gone, but must have just left, for the nap on the hearthrug had
not yet straightened up. The house seemed deserted. Then I heard her light footsteps
in the kitchen. I was up at once and quickly out there. She had her back towards me and
was reaching up to the old-fashioned pendulum clock that hung on her kitchen
wall. She turned as I came in - tiny, incredibly aged, her thin white hair
brushed neatly into a bun. It was suddenly clear to me why
a motherly goodnight kiss was all that I had received the night before; she had
had enough sense for two of us, and had refused to permit me to make a fool of
myself. She looked up at me and said in
a calm, matter-of-fact voice, See, Archie, my old clock stopped yesterday' -
she reached up and touched the pendulum - but it is running again this
morning.' There is not anything more to
tell. With Ditworth gone, and Kane's report, Magic, Incorporated, folded up
almost overnight. The new licensing laws were an unenforced dead letter even
before they were repealed. We all hang around Mrs
Jennings's place just as much as she will let us. I'm really grateful that she
did not let me get involved with her younger self, for our present relationship
is something solid, something to tie to. Just the same, if I had been born
sixty years sooner, Mr Jennings would have had some rivalry to contend with. I helped Ellen and Joe organize
their new business, then put Bodie in as manager, for I decided that I did not
want to give up my old line. I've built the new wing and bought those two
trucks, just as Mrs Jennings predicted. Business is good.
C:\MYDOCU~1\tmpMAGIC INC.HTM
by Robert Heinlein
Version 1.01
MAGIC, INC
'Whose spells are you
using, buddy?' That was the first thing this bird said after coming into
my place of business, He had hung around maybe twenty minutes, until I was
alone, looking at samples of waterproof pigment, fiddling with plumbing
catalogues, and monkeying with the hardware display. I didn't like his manner.
I don't mind a legitimate business inquiry from a customer_ but I resent
gratuitus snooping. Various of the local licensed
practitioners of thaumaturgy,' I told him in a tone that was chilly but polite.
Why do you ask?' You didn't answer my question,'
he pointed out. Come on - speak up. I ain't got all day.' I restrained myself. I require
my clerks to he polite, and, while I was pretty sure this chap would never be a
customer, I didn't want to break my own rules. If you are thinking of buying
anything,' I said, I will be happy to tell you what magic, if any, is used in
producing it, and who the magician is. Now you're not being
cooperative,' he complained. We like for people to be cooperative. You never
can tell what bad luck you may run into not cooperating.' Who d'you mean by we, I
snapped, dropping all pretence of politeness, and what do you mean by bad
luck?' 'Now we're getting somewhere,'
he said with a nasty grin, and settled himself on the edge of the counter so
that he breathed into my face He was short and swarthy - Sicilian, I judged and
dressed in a suit that was overtailered. His clothes and haberdashery matched
perfectly in a color scheme that I didn't like. 'I'll tell you what I mean
by "we"; I'm a field representative for an organization that protects
people. from bad luck - if they're smart, and cooperative. That's why I asked
you whose charms you're usin'. Some of the magicians around here aren't
cooperative; it spoils their luck, and that bad luck follows their products. 'Go on.' I said. I wanted him to
commit himself as far as he would. I knew you were smart,' he
answered. F'rinstance - how would you like for a salamander to get loose in
your shop, setting fire to your goods and maybe scaring your customers? Or you
sell the materials to build a house, and it turns out there's a Poltergeist living
in it, breaking the dishes and souring the milk and kicking the furniture
around. That's what can come of dealing with the wrong magicians. A little of
that and your business is ruined. We wouldn't want that to happen, would
we?' He favoured me with another leer. I said nothing; he went on, Now,
we maintain a staff of the finest demonologists in the business, expert
magicians themselves, who can report on how a magician conducts himself in the
Half World, and whether or not he's likely to bring his clients bad luck. Then
we advise our clients whom to deal with, and keep them from having bad luck.
See?' I saw all right. I wasn't born
yesterday. The magicians I dealt with were local men that I had known for
years, men with established reputations both here and in the Half World. They
didn't do anything to stir up the elementals against them, and they did not
have bad luck. What this slimy item meant was
that I should deal only with the magicians they selected at whatever fees they
chose to set, and they would take a cut on the fees and also on the profits of
my business. If I didn't choose to cooperate', I'd be persecuted by elementals
they had an arrangement with - renegades, probably, with human vices - my stock
in trade spoiled and my customers frightened away. If I still held out, I could
expect some really dangerous black magic that would injure or kill me. All this
under the pretence of selling me protection from men I knew and liked. A neat racket! I had heard of something of the
sort back East, but had not expected it in a city as small as ours. He sat
there, smirking at me, waiting for my reply, and twisting his neck in his
collar, which was too tight. That caused me to notice something. In spite of
his foppish clothes a thread showed on his neck just above the collar in back.
It seemed likely that it was there to support something next to his skin - an
amulet. If so, he was superstitious, even in this day and age. There's something you've
omitted,' I told him. I'm a seventh son, born under a caul, and I've got second
sight. My luck's all right, but I can see bad luck hovering over you like
cypress over a grave!' I reached out and snatched at the thread. It snapped and
came loose in my hand. There was an amulet on it, right enough, an unsavoury
little wad of nothing in particular and about as appetizing as the bottom of a
bird cage. I dropped it on the floor and ground it into the dirt. He had jumped off the counter
and stood facing me, breathing hard. A knife showed up in his right hand; with
his left hand he was warding off the evil eye, the first and little fingers
pointed at me, making the horns of Asmodeus. I knew I had him - for the time
being. Here's some magic you may not
have heard of,' I rapped out, and reached into a drawer behind the counter. I
hauled Out a pistol and pointed it at his face. Cold iron! Now go back to your
owner and tell him there's cold iron waiting for him, too - both ways!' He backed away, never taking his
eyes off my face. If looks could kill, and so forth. At the door he paused and
spat on the doorsill, then got out of sight very quickly. I put the gun away and went
about my work, waiting on two customers who came in just as Mr Nasty Business
left. But I will admit that I was worried. A man's reputation is his most
valuable asset. I've built up a name, while still a young man, for dependable
products. It was certain that this bird and his pals would do all they could to
destroy that name - which might be plenty if they were hooked in with black
magicians! Of course the building-materials
game does not involve as much magic as other lines dealing in less durable
goods. People like to know, when they are building a home, that the bed won't
fall into the basement some night, or the roof disappear and leave them out in
the rain. Besides, building involves quite
a lot of iron, and there are very few commercial sorcerers who can cope with
cold iron. The few that can are so expensive it isn't economical to use them in
building. Of course if one of the cafй-society crowd, or somebody like that,
wants to boast that they have a summerhouse or a swimming pool built entirely
by magic, I'll accept the contract, charging accordingly, and sublet it to one
of the expensive, first-line magicians. But by and large my business uses magic
only in the side issues - perishable items and doodads which people like to buy
cheap and change from time to time. So I was not worried about magic
in my business, but about what magic could do to my business - if
someone set out deliberately to do me mischief. I had the subject of magic on
my mind, anyhow, because of an earlier call from a chap named Ditworth - not a
matter of vicious threats, just a business proposition that I was undecided
about. But it worried me, just the same, I closed up a few minutes early
and went over to see Jedson - a friend of mine in the cloak-and-suit business.
He is considerably older than I am, and quite a student, without holding a
degree, in all forms of witchcraft, white and black magic, necrology,
demonology, spells, charms, and the more practical forms of divination. Besides
that, Jedson is a shrewd, capable man in every way, with a long head on him. I
set a lot of store by his advice. I expected to find him in his
office, and more or less free, at that hour, but he wasn't. His office boy
directed me up to a room he used for sales conferences. I knocked and then
pushed the door. Hello, Archie,' he called out as
soon as he saw who it was. Come on in. I've got something.' And he turned away.
I came in and looked around.
Besides Joe Jedson there was a handsome, husky woman about thirty years old in
a nurse's uniform, and a fellow named August Welker, Jedson's foreman. He was a
handy all-around man with a magician's licence, third class. Then I noticed a
fat little guy, Zadkiel Feldstein, who was agent for a good many of the
second-rate magicians along the street, and some few of the first-raters.
Naturally, his religion prevented him from practicing magic himself, but, as I
understand it, there was no theological objection to his turning an honest
commission. I had had dealings with him; he was all right. This ten-percenter was clutching
a cigar that had gone out, and watching intently Jedson and another party, who
was slumped in a chair. This other party was a girl, not
over twenty-five, maybe not that old. She was blonde, and thin to the point
that you felt that light would shine through her. She had big, sensitive hands
with long fingers, and a big, tragic mouth. Her hair was silver-white, but she
was not an albino. She lay back in the chair, awake but apparently done in. The
nurse was chafing her wrists. What's up?' I asked. The kid
faint?' Oh no,' Jedson assured me,
turning around. She's a white witch - works in a trance. She's a little tired
now, that's all.' What's her specialty?' I inquired.
Whole garments.' Huh?' I had a right to be
surprised. It's one thing to create yard goods; another thing entirely to turn
out a dress, or a suit, all finished and ready to wear. Jedson produced and
merchandised a full line of garments in which magic was used throughout. They
were mostly sportswear, novelty goods, ladies' fashions, and the like, in which
style, rather than wearing qualities, was the determining factor. Usually they
were marked One Season Only', but they were perfectly satisfactory for that one
season, being backed up by the consumers' groups. But they were not turned out in
one process. The yard goods involved were made first, usually by Welker. Dyes
and designs were added separately. Jedson had some very good connexions among
the Little People, and could obtain shades and patterns from the Half World
that were exclusive with him. He used both the old methods and magic in
assembling garments, and employed some of the most talented artists in the
business. Several of his dress designers free-lanced their magic in Hollywood
under an arrangement with him. All he asked for was screen credit.
But to get back to the blonde girl- That's what I said,' Jedson answered, whole
garments, with good wearing qualities too. There's no doubt that she is the
real McCoy; she was under contract to a textile factory in Jersey City. But I'd
give a thousand dollars to see her do that whole-garment stunt of hers just
once. We haven't had any luck, though I've tried everything but red-hot
pincers.' The kid looked alarmed at this,
and the nurse looked indignant. Feldstein started to expostulate, but Jedson
cut him short. That was just a figure of speech; you know I don't hold with
black magic. Look, darling,' he went on, turning back to the girl, do you feel
like trying again?' She nodded, and he added, All right - sleepy time now!' And she tried again, going into
her act with a minimum of groaning and spitting. The ectoplasm came out freely
and, sure enough, it formed into a complete dress instead of yard goods. It was
a neat- little dinner frock, about a size sixteen, sky blue in a watered silk.
It had class in a refined way, and I knew that any jobber who saw it would be
good for a sizeable order. Jedson grabbed it, cut off a
swatch of cloth and applied his usual tests, finishing by taking the swatch out
of the microscope and touching a match to it. He swore. Damn it,' he said,
there's no doubt about it. It's not a new integration at all; she's just
reanimated an old rag!' Come again,' I said. What of
it?' huh? Archie, you really ought to
study up a bit. What she just did isn't really creative magic at all. This
dress' - he picked it up and shook it - had a real existence someplace at some
time. She's gotten hold of a piece of it, a scrap or maybe just a button, and
applied the laws of homeopathy and contiguity to produce a simulacrum of it.' I understood him, for I had used
it in my own business. I had once had a section of bleachers, suitable for
parades and athletic events, built on my own grounds by old methods, using
skilled master mechanics and the best materials - no iron, of course. Then I
cut it to pieces. Under the law of contiguity, each piece remained part of the
structure it had once been in. Under the law of homeopathy, each piece was
potentially the entire structure. I would contract to handle a Fourth of July
crowd, or the spectators for a circus parade, and send out a couple of
magicians armed with as many fragments of the original stands as we needed
sections of bleachers. They .would bind a spell to last twenty-four hours
around each piece. That way the stands cleared themselves away automatically. I had had only one mishap with
it; an apprentice magician, who had the chore of being on hand as each section
vanished and salvaging the animated fragment for further use, happened one day
to pick up the wrong piece of wood from where one section had stood. The next
time we used it, for the Shrine convention, we found we had thrown up a
brand-new four- room bungalow at the corner of Fourteenth and Vine instead of a
section of bleachers. It could have been embarrassing, but I stuck a sign on it
MODEL HOME NOW ON DISPLAY and ran up another section on
the end. An out-of-town concern tried to
chisel me out of the business one season, but one of their units fell, either
through faulty workmanship on the pattern or because of unskilled magic, and
injured several people. Since then I've had the field pretty much to myself. I could not understand Joe
Jedson's objection to reanimation. What difference does it make?' I persisted.
It's a dress, isn't it?' Sure, it's a dress, hut it's not
a new one. That style is registered somewhere and doesn't belong to me. And
even if it were one of my numbers she had used, reanimation isn't what I'm
after. I can make better merchandise cheaper without it; otherwise I'd be using
it now.' The blonde girl came to, saw the
dress, and said, Oh, Mr Jedson, did I do it?' He explained what had happened.
Her face fell, and the dress melted away at once. Don't you feel bad about it,
kid,' he added, patting her on the shoulder, you were tired. We'll try again
tomorrow. I know you can do it when you're not nervous and overwrought.' She thanked him and left with
the nurse. Feldstein was full of explanations, but Jedson told him to forget
it, and to have them all back there at the same time tomorrow. When we were
alone I told him what had happened to me. He listened in silence, his face
serious, except when I told him how I had kidded my visitor into thinking I had
second sight. That seemed to amuse him. You may wish that you really had
it - second sight, I mean,' he said at last, becoming solemn again. This is an
unpleasant prospect. Have you notified the Better Business Bureau?' I told him I hadn't. Very well then. I'll give them a
ring and the Chamber of Commerce too. They probably can't help much, but they
are entitled to notification, so they can be on the lookout for it.' I asked him if he thought I
ought to notify the police. He shook his head. Not just yet. Nothing illegal
has been done, and, anyhow, all the chief could think of to cope with the
situation would be to haul in all the licensed magicians in town and sweat
them. That wouldn't do any good, and would just cause hard feeling to be
directed against you by the legitimate members of the profession. There isn't a
chance in ten that the sorcerers connected with this outfit are licensed to
perform magic; they are almost sure to be clandestine. If the police know about
them, it's because they are protected. If they don't know about them, then they
probably can't help you.' What do you think I ought to
do?' Nothing just yet. Go home and
sleep on it. This Charlie may be playing a lone hand, making small-time
shakedowns purely on bluff. I don't really think so; his type sounds like a
mobster. But we need more data; we can't do anything until they expose their
hand a little more.' We did not have long to wait.
When I got down to my place of business the next morning I found a surprise
waiting for me - several of them, all unpleasant. It was as if it had been
ransacked by burglars, set fire to, then gutted by a flood. I called up Jedson
at once. He came right over. He didn't have anything to say at first, but went
poking through the ruins, examining a number of things. He stopped at the point
where the hardware storeroom had stood, reached down and gathered up a handful
of the wet ashes and muck. Notice anything?' he asked, working his fingers so
that the debris sloughed off and left in his hand some small metal objects -
nails, screws, and the like. Nothing in particular. This is
where the hardware bins were located; that's some of the stuff that didn't
burn.' Yes, I know,' he said
impatiently, but don't you see anything else? Didn't you stock a lot of brass
fittings?' Yes.' Well, find one!' I poked around with my toe in a
spot where there should have been a lot of brass hinges and drawer pulls mixed
in with the ashes. I did not find anything but the nails that had held the bins
together. I oriented myself by such landmarks as I could find, and tried again.
There were plenty of nuts and bolts, casement hooks, and similar junk, but no
brass. Jedson watched me with a
sardonic grin on his face. Well?' I said, somewhat annoyed
at his manner. Don't you see?' he answered.
It's magic, all right. In this entire yard there is not one scrap of metal
left, except cold iron!' It was plain enough. I should
have seen it myself. He messed around awhile longer.
Presently we came across an odd thing. It was a slimy, wet track that meandered
through my property, and disappeared down one of the drains. It looked as if a
giant slug, about the size of a Crosley car, had wandered through the place. Undine,' Jedson announced, and wrinkled
his nose at the smell. I once saw a movie, a Megapix super production called
the Water King's Daughter. According to it undines were luscious enough
to have interested Earl Carroll, but if they left trails like that I wanted
none of them. He took out his handkerchief and
spread it for a clean place to sit down on what had been sacks of cement - a
fancy, quick- setting variety, with a trade name of Hydrolith. I had been
getting eighty cents a sack for the stuff; now it was just so many big
boulders. He ticked the situation off on
his fingers. Archie, you've been kicked in the teeth by at least three of the
four different types of elementals - earth, fire, and water. Maybe there was a
sylph of the air in on it, too, but I can't prove it. First the gnomes came and
cleaned out everything you had that came out of the ground, except cold iron. A
salamander followed them and set fire to the place, burning everything that was
burnable, and scorching and smoke-damaging the rest. Then the undine turned the
place into a damned swamp, ruining anything that wouldn't burn, like cement and
lime. You're insured?' Naturally.' But then I starred
to think. I carried the usual fire, theft, and flood insurance, but
business-risk insurance comes pretty high; I was not covered against the
business I would lose in the meantime, nor did I have any way to complete
current contracts. It was going to cost me quite a lot to cover those
contracts; if I let them slide it would ruin the good will of my business, and
lay me open to suits for damage. The situation was worse than I
had thought, and looked worse still the more I thought about it. Naturally I
could not accept any new business until the mess was cleaned up, the place
rebuilt, and new stock put in. Luckily most of my papers were in a fireproof
steel safe; but not all, by any means. There would be accounts receivable that
I would never collect because I had nothing to show for them. I work on a slim
margin of profit, with all of my capital at work. It began to look as if the
firm of Archibald Fraser, Merchant and Contractor, would go into involuntary
bankruptcy. I explained the situation to
Jedson. Don't get your wind up too
fast,' he reassured me. What magic can do, magic can undo. What we need is the
best wizard in town.' Who's going to pay the fee?' I
objected. Those boys don't work for nickels, and I'm cleaned out.' Take it easy, son,' he advised,
the insurance outfit that carries your risks is due to take a bigger loss than
you are. If we can show them a way to save money on this, we can do business.
Who represents them here?' I told him - a firm of lawyers
downtown in the Professional Building. I got hold of my office girl and
told her to telephone such of our customers as were due for deliveries that
day. She was to stall where possible and pass on the business that could not
wait to a firm that I had exchanged favours with in the past. I sent the rest
of my help home - they had been standing around since eight o'clock, making
useless remarks and getting in the way - and told them not to come back until I
sent for them. Luckily it was Saturday; we had the best part of forty- eight
hours to figure out some answer. We flagged a magic carpet that
was cruising past and headed for the Professional Building. I settled back and
determined to enjoy the ride and forget my troubles. I like taxicabs - they
give me a feeling of luxury - and I've liked them even better since they took
the wheels off them. This happened to be one of the new Cadillacs with the
teardrop shape and air cushions. We went scooting down the boulevard, silent as
thought, not six inches off the ground. Perhaps I should explain that we
have a local city ordinance against apportation unless it conforms to traffic
regulations - ground traffic, I mean, not air. That may surprise you, but it
came about as a result of a mishap to a man in my own line of business. He had
an order for eleven-odd tons of glass brick to be delivered to a restaurant
being remodeled on the other side of town from his yard. He employed a magician
with a common carrier's licence to deliver for him. I don't know whether he was
careless or just plain stupid, but he dropped those eleven tons of brick
through the roof of the Prospect Boulevard Baptist Church. Anybody knows that
magic won't work over consecrated ground; if he had consulted a map he would
have seen that the straight-line route took his load over the church. Anyhow,
the janitor was killed, and it might just as well have been the whole
congregation. It caused such a commotion that apportation was limited to the
streets, near the ground. It's people like that who make
it inconvenient for everybody else. Our man was in - Mr Wiggin, of
the firm of Wiggin, Snead, McClatchey & Wiggin. He had already heard about
my fire', but when Jedson explained his conviction that magic was at the bottom
of it he baulked. It was, he said, most irregular. Jedson was remarkably
patient. Are you an expert in magic, Mr
Wiggin?' he asked. I have not specialized in
thaumaturgic jurisprudence, if that is what you mean, sir.' Well, I don't hold a licence
myself, but it has been my hobby for a good many years. I'm sure of what I say
in this case; you can call in all the independent experts you wish - they'll
confirm my opinion. Now suppose we stipulate, for the sake of argument, that
this damage was caused by magic. If that is true, there is a possibility that
we may be able to save much of the loss. You have authority to settle claims,
do you not?' Well, I think I may say yes to
that - bearing in mind the legal restrictions and the terms of the contract.' I
don't believe he would have conceded that he had five fingers on his right hand
without an auditor to back him up. Then it is your business to hold
your company's losses down to a minimum. If I find a wizard who can undo a
part, or all, of the damage, will you guarantee the fee, on behalf of your
company, up to a reasonable amount, say twenty-five per cent of the indemnity?'
He hemmed and hawed some more,
and said he did not see how he could possibly do it, and that if the fire had
been magic, then to restore by magic might be compounding a felony, as we could
not be sure what the connexions of the magicians involved might be in the Half
World. Besides that, my claim had not been allowed as yet; I had failed to
notify the company of my visitor of the day before, which possibly might
prejudice my claim. In any case, it was a very serious precedent to set; he
must consult the home office. Jedson stood up. I can see that
we are simply wasting each other's time, Mr Wiggin. Your contention about Mr
Fraser's possible responsibility is ridiculous, and you know it. There is no
reason under the contract to notify you, and even if there were, he is within
the twenty-four hours allowed for any notification. I think it best that we
consult the home office ourselves.' He reached for his hat. Wiggin put up his hand.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, please! Let's not be hasty. Will Mr Fraser agree to pay
half of the fee?' No. Why should he? It's your
loss, not his. You insured him. Wiggin tapped his teeth with his
spectacles, then said, We must make the fee contingent on results.' Did you ever hear of anyone in
his right mind dealing with a wizard on any other basis?' Twenty minutes later we walked
out with a document which enabled us to hire any witch or wizard to salvage my
place of business on a contingent fee not to exceed twenty-five per cent of the
value reclaimed. I thought you were going to throw up the whole matter,' I told
Jedson with a sigh of relief. He grinned. Not in the wide
world, old son. He was simply trying to horse you into paying the cost of
saving them some money. I just let him know that I knew.' It took some time to decide whom
to consult. Jedson admitted frankly that he did not know of a man nearer than
New York who could, with certainty, be trusted to do the job, and that was out
of the question for the fee involved. We stopped in a bar, and he did some
telephoning while I had a beer. Presently he came back and said, I think I've
got the man. I've never done business with him before, but he has the
reputation and the training, and everybody I talked to seemed to think that he
was the one to see.' Who is it?' I wanted to know. Dr Fortescue Biddle. He's just
down the street - the Railway Exchange Building. Come on, we'll walk it.' I gulped down the rest of my
beer and followed him. Dr Biddle's place was
impressive. He had a corner suite on the fourteenth floor, and he had not
spared expense in furnishing and decorating it. The style was modern; it had
the austere elegance of a society physician's layout. There was a frieze around
the wall of the signs of the zodiac done in intaglio glass, backed up by aluminum.
That was the only decoration of any sort, the rest of the furnishing being very
plain, but rich, with lots of plate glass and chromium. We had to wait about thirty
minutes in the outer office; I spent the time trying to estimate what I could
have done the suite for, subletting what I had to and allowing ten per cent.
Then a really beautiful girl with a hushed voice ushered us in. We found
ourselves in another smaller room, alone, and had to wait about ten minutes
more. It was much like the waiting room, but had some glass bookcases and an
old print of Aristotle. I looked at the bookcases with Jedson to kill time.
They were filled with a lot of rare old classics on magic. Jedson had just
pointed out the Red Grimoire when we heard a voice behind us. Amusing, aren't they? The
ancients knew a surprising amount. Not scientific, of course, but remarkably
clever-' The voice trailed off. We turned around; he introduced him- sell as Dr
Biddle. He was a nice enough looking
chap, really handsome in a spare, dignified fashion. He was about ten years
older than I am - fortyish, maybe - with iron-grey hair at the temples and a
small, stiff, British major's moustache. His clothes could have been out of the
style pages of Esquire. There was no reason for me not to like him; his
manners were pleasant enough. Maybe it was the supercilious twist of his expression.
He led us into his private
office, sat us down, and offered us cigarettes before business was mentioned.
He opened up with, You're Jedson, of course. I suppose Mr Ditworth sent you?' I cocked an ear at him; the name
was familiar. But Jedson simply answered, Why, no. Why would you think that he
had?' Biddle hesitated for a moment,
then said, half to himself, That's strange. I was certain that I had heard him
mention your name. Do either one of you,' he added, know Mr Ditworth?' We both nodded at once and
surprised each other, Biddle seemed relieved and said, No doubt that accounts
for it. Still - I need some more information. Will you gentlemen excuse me
while I call him?' With that he vanished. I had
never seen it done before. Jedson says there are two ways to do it, one is
hallucination, the other is an actual exit through the Half World. Whichever
way it's done, I think it's bad manners. About this chap Ditworth,' I
started to say to Jedson. I had intended to ask you-' Let it wait,' he cut me off,
there's not time now.' At this Biddle reappeared. It's
all right,' he announced, speaking directly to me. I can take your case. I
suppose you've come about the trouble you had last night with your
establishment?' Yes,' I agreed. How did you
know?' Methods,' he replied, with a
deprecatory little smile. My profession has its means. Now, about your problem.
What is it you desire?' I looked at Jedson; he explained
what he thought had taken place and why he thought so. Now I don't know whether
you specialize in demonology or not,' he concluded, but it seems to me that it
should be possible to evoke the powers responsible and force them to repair the
damage. If you can do it, we are prepared to pay any reasonable fee.' Biddle smiled at this and
glanced rather self-consciously at the assortment of diplomas hanging on the
walls of his office. I feel that there should be reason to reassure you,' he
purred. Permit me to look over the ground-' And he was gone again. I was beginning to be annoyed.
It's all very well for a man to be good at his job, but there is no reason to
make a side show out of it. But I didn't have time to grouse about it before he
was back. Examination seems to confirm Mr
Jedson's opinion; there should be no unusual difficulties,' he said. Now as to
the . ah . . . business arrangements-'
He coughed politely and gave a little smile, as if he regretted having to deal
with such vulgar matters. Why do some people act as if
making money offended their delicate minds? I am out for a legitimate profit,
and not ashamed of it; the fact that people will pay money for my goods and
services shows that my work is useful. However, we made a deal without
much trouble, then Biddle told us to meet him at my place in about fifteen
minutes. Jedson and I left the building and flagged another cab. Once inside I
asked him about Ditworth. Where'd you run across him?' I
said. Came to me with a proposition. Hm-m-m-' This interested me;
Ditworth had made me a proposition, too, and it had worried me. What kind of a
proposition?' Jedson screwed up his forehead.
Well, that's hard to say - there was so much impressive sales talk along with
it. Briefly, he said he was the local executive secretary of a nonprofit
association which had as its purpose the improvement of standards of practising
magicians.' I nodded. It was the same story
I had heard. Go ahead.' He dwelt on the inadequacy of
the present licensing laws and pointed out that anyone could pass the
examinations and hang out his shingle after a couple of weeks' study of a grimoire
or black book without any fundamental knowledge of the arcane laws at all.
His organization would be a sort of bureau of standards to improve that, like
the American Medical Association, or the National Conference of Universities
and Colleges, or the Bar Association. If I signed an agreement to patronize
only those wizards who complied with their requirements. I could display their
certificate of quality and put their seal of approval on my goods.' Joe, I've heard the same story.'
I cut in. and I didn't know quite what to make of it. It sounds all right, but
I wouldn't want to stop doing business with men who have given me good value in
the past, and I've no way of knowing that the association would approve them.' What answer did you give him?' I stalled him a bit - told him
that I couldn't sign anything as binding as that without discussing it with my
attorney.' Good boy! What did he say to
that?' Well, he was really quite decent
about it, and honestly seemed to want to be helpful. Said he thought I was wise
and left me some stuff to look over. Do you know anything about him? Is he a
wizard himself?' No, he's not. But I did find out
some things about him. I knew vaguely that he was something in the Chamber of
Commerce; what I didn't know is that he is on the board of a dozen or more
blue-ribbon corporations. He's a lawyer, but not in practice. Seems to spend
all his time on his business interests. He sounds like a responsible
man.' I would say so. He seems to have
had considerably less publicity than you would expect of a man of his business
importance - probably a retiring sort. I ran across something that seemed to
confirm that.' What was it?' I asked. I looked up the incorporation
papers for his association on file with the Secretary of State. There were just
three names, his own and two others. I found that both of the others were
employed in his office - his secretary and his receptionist. Dummy setup?' Undoubtedly. But there is
nothing unusual about that. What interested me was this: I recognized one of
the names.' Huh?' You know, I'm on the auditing
committee for the state committee of my party. I looked up the name of his
secretary where I thought I had seen it. It was there all right. His secretary,
a chap by the name of Mathias, was down for a whopping big contribution to the
governor's personal campaign fund.' We did not have any more time to
talk just then, as the cab had pulled up at my place. Dr Biddle was there
before us and had already started his preparations. He had set up a little
crystal pavilion, about ten feet square, to work in. The entire lot was blocked
off from spectators on the front by an impalpable screen. Jedson warned me not
to touch it. I must say he worked without any
of the usual hocus-pocus. He simply greeted us and entered the pavilion, where
he sat down on a chair and took a loose-leaf notebook from a pocket and
commenced to read. Jedson says he used several pieces of paraphernalia too. If
so, I didn't see them. He worked with his clothes on. Nothing happened for a few
minutes. Gradually the walls of the shed became cloudy, so that everything
inside was indistinct. It was about then that I became aware that there was
something else in the pavilion besides Biddle. I could not see clearly what it
was, and, to tell the truth, I didn't want to. We could not hear anything that
was said on the inside, but there was an argument going on - that was evident.
Biddle stood up and began sawing the air with his hands. The thing threw back
its head and laughed. At that Biddle threw a worried look in our direction and
made a quick gesture with his right hand. The walls of the pavilion became
opaque at once and we didn't see any more. About five minutes later Biddle
walked out of his workroom, which promptly disappeared behind him. He was a
sight -, his hair all mussed, sweat dripping from his face, and his collar
wrinkled and limp. Worse than that, his aplomb was shaken. Well?' said Jedson. There is nothing to be done
about it, Mr Jedson - nothing at all.' Nothing you can do about it,
eh?' He stiffened a bit at this.
Nothing anyone can do about it, gentlemen. Give it up. Forget about it.
That is my advice.' Jedson said nothing, just looked
at him speculatively. I kept quiet. Biddle was beginning to regain his
self-possession. He straightened his hat, adjusted his necktie, and added, I
must return to my office. The survey fee will be five hundred dollars. I was stonkered speechless at
the barefaced gall of the man, but Jedson acted as if he hadn't understood him.
No doubt it would be,' he observed. Too bad you didn't earn it. I'm sorry. Biddle turned red, but preserved
his urbanity. Apparently you misunderstand me, sir. Under the agreement I have
signed with Mr Ditworth, thaumaturgists approved by the association are not
permitted to offer free consultation. It lowers the standards of the
profession. The fee I mentioned is the minimum fee for a magician of my
classification, irrespective of services rendered.' I see,' Jedson answered calmly;
that's what it costs to step inside your office. But you didn't tell us that,
so it doesn't apply. As for Mr Ditworth, an agreement you sign with him does
not bind us in any way. I advise you to return to your office and reread our
contract. We owe you nothing.' I thought this time that Biddle
would lose his temper, but all he answered was, I shan't bandy words with you.
You will hear from me later.' He vanished then without so much as a
by-your-leave. I heard a snicker behind me and
whirled around, ready to bite somebody's head off. I had had an upsetting day
and didn't like to be laughed at behind my back. There was a young chap there,
about my own age. Who are you, and what are you laughing at?' I snapped. This
is private property.' Sorry, bud,' he apologized with
a disarming grin. I wasn't laughing at you; I was laughing at the stuffed
shirt. Your friend ticked him off properly.' What are you doing here?' asked
Jedson. Me? I guess I owe you an
explanation. You see, I'm in the business myself-' Building?' No - magic. Here's my card.' He
handed it to Jedson, who glanced at it and passed it onto me. It read: JACK BODIE LICENSED MAGICIAN, 1ST CLASS TELEPHONE CREST 3840 You see, I heard a rumour in the
Half World that one of the big shots was going to do a hard one here today. I
just stopped in to see the fun. But how did you happen to pick a false alarm
like Biddle? He's not up to this sort of thing.' Jedson reached over and took the
card back. Where did you take your training, Mr Bodie?' Huh? I took my bachelor's degree
at Harvard and finished up postgraduate at Chicago. But that's not important;
my old man taught me everything I know, but he insisted on my going to college
because he said a magician can't get a decent job these days without a degree.
He was right.'
Do you think you could handle this job?' I asked. Probably not, but I wouldn't
have made the fool of myself that Biddle did. Look here - you want to find
somebody who can do this job?'
Naturally,' I said. What do you think we're here for?'
Well, you've gone about it the wrong way. Biddle's got a reputation simply
because he's studied at Heidelberg and Vienna. That doesn't mean a thing. I'll
bet it never occurred to you to look up an old-style witch for the job.'
Jedson answered this one. That's not quite true. I inquired around among my
friends in the business, but didn't find anyone who was willing to take it on.
But I'm willing to learn; whom do you suggest?'
Do you know Mrs Amanda Todd Jennings? Lives over in the old part of town,
beyond the Congregational cemetery.'
Jennings ... Jennings. Hm-m-m - no, can't say that I do. Wait a minute! Is she
the old girl they call Granny Jennings? Wears Queen Mary hats and does her own
marketing?'
That's the one.'
But she's not a witch; she's a fortune-teller.'
That's what you think. She's not in regular commercial practice, it's true,
being ninety years older than Santa Claus, and feeble to boot. But she's got
more magic in her little finger than you'll find in Solomon's Book.'
Jedson looked at me. I nodded, and he said:
Do you think you could get her to attempt this case?'
Well, I think she might do it, if she liked you.'
What arrangement do you want?' I asked. Is ten per cent satisfactory?'
He seemed rather put out at this. Hell,' he said, I couldn't take a cut; she's
been good to me all my life.'
If the tip is good, it's worth paying for.' I insisted. Oh, forget it. Maybe
you boys will have some work in my line someday. That's enough.'
Pretty soon we were off again, without Bodie. He was tied up elsewhere, but promised
to let Mrs Jennings know that we were coming. The place wasn't too hard to
find. It was on an old street, arched over with elms, and the house was a
one-storey cottage, set well back. The veranda had a lot of that old scroll-saw
gingerbread. The yard was not very well taken care of, but there was a lovely
old climbing rose arched over the steps. Jedson gave a twist to the hand
bell set in the door, and we waited for several minutes. I studied the
coloured-glass tri- angles set in the door's side panels and wondered if there
was anyone left who could do that sort of work. Then she let us in. She really
was something incredible. She was so tiny that I found myself staring down at
the crown of her head, and noting that the clean pink scalp showed plainly
through the scant, neat threads of hair. She couldn't have weighed seventy
pounds dressed for the street, but stood proudly erect in lavender alpaca and
white collar, and sized us up with lively black eyes that would have fitted
Catherine the Great or Calamity Jane. Good morning to you,' she said.
Come in.' She led us through a little
hall, between beaded portieres, said, Scat, Seraphin!' to a cat on a chair, and
sat us down in her parlour. The cat jumped down, walked away with an un- hurried
dignity, then sat down, tucked his tail neatly around his carefully placed
feet, and stared at us with the same calm appraisal as his mistress. My boy Jack told me that you
were coming,' she began. You are Mr Fraser and you are Mr Jedson,' getting us
sorted out correctly. It was not a question; it was a statement. You want your
futures read, I suppose. What method do you prefer - your palms, the stars, the
sticks?' I was about to correct her
misapprehension when Jedson cut in ahead of me. I think we'd best leave the
method up to you, Mrs Jennings.' All right, we'll make it tea
leaves then. I'll put the kettle on; twon't take a minute.' She bustled out. We
could hear her in the kitchen, her light footsteps clicking on the linoleum,
utensils scraping and clattering in a busy, pleasant disharmony. When she returned I said, I hope
we aren't putting you out, Mrs Jennings.' Not a bit of it,' she assured
me. I like a cup of tea in the morning; it does a body comfort. I just had to
set a love philter off the fire.- that's what took me so long.' I'm sorry-' Twon't hurt it to wait.' The Zekerboni formula?' Jedson
inquired. My goodness gracious, no!' She
was plainly upset by the suggestion. I wouldn't kill all those harmless little
creatures. Hares and swallows and doves - the very idea! I don't know what
Pierre Mora was thinking about when he set that recipe down. I'd like to box
his cars! No, I use Emula campana, orange,
and ambergris. It's just as effective.' Jedson then asked if she had
ever tried the juice of vervain. She looked closely into his face before
replying, You have the sight yourself, son. Am I not right?' A little, mother,' he answered
soberly, a little, perhaps.' It will grow. Mind how you use
it. As for vervain, it is efficacious, as you know.' Wouldn't it be simpler?' Of course it would. But if that
easy a method became generally known, anyone and everyone would be making it
and using it promiscuously - a bad thing. And witches would starve for want of
clients - perhaps a good thing!' She flicked up one white eyebrow. But if it is
simplicity you want, there is no need to bother even with vervain. Here-' She
reached out and touched me on the hand. "Bestarberto corrum pit viscera
e)us virilis. ' That is as near as I can reproduce her words. I may have
misquoted it. But I had no time to think about
the formula she had pronounced. I was fully occupied with the startling thing
that had come over me. I was in love, ecstatically, deliciously in love - with
Granny Jennings! I don't mean that she suddenly looked like a beautiful young
girl - she didn't. I still saw her as a little, old, shrivelled-up woman with
the face of a shrewd monkey, and ancient enough to be my great-grandmother. It
didn't matter. She was she - the Helen that all men desire, the object of
romantic adoration. She smiled into my face with a
smile that was warm and full of affectionate understanding. Everything was all
right, and I was perfectly happy. Then she said, I would not mock you, boy,' in
a gentle voice, and touched my hand a second time while whispering something
else. At once it was all gone. She was
just any nice old woman, the sort that would bake a cake for a grandson or sit
up with a sick neighbour. Nothing was changed, and the cat had not even
blinked. The romantic fascination was an emotionless memory. But I was poorer
for the difference. The kettle was boiling. She
trotted out to attend to it, and returned shortly with a tray of things, a
plate of seed cake, and thin slices of homemade bread spread with sweet butter.
When we had drunk a cup apiece
with proper ceremony, she took Jedson's cup from him and examined the dregs.
Not much money there,' she announced, but you shan't need much; it's a fine
full life.' She touched the little pool of tea with the tip of her spoon and
sent tiny ripples across it. Yes, you have the sight, and the need for
understanding that should go with it, but I find you in business instead of
pursuing the great art, or even the lesser arts. Why is that?' Jedson shrugged his shoulders
and answered half apologetically, There is work at hand that needs to be done.
I do it. She nodded. That is well. There
is understanding to be gained in any job, and you will gain it. There is no
hurry; time is long. When your own work comes you will know it and be ready for
it. Let me see your cup,' she finished, turning to me. I handed it to her. She studied
it for a moment and said, Well, you have not the clear sight such as your
friend has, but you have the insight you need for your proper work. Any more
would make you dissatisfied, for I see money here. You will make much money,
Archie Fraser.' Do you see any immediate setback
in my business?' I said quickly. No. See for yourself.' She
motioned towards the cup. I leaned forward and stared at it. For a matter of
seconds it seemed as if I looked through the surface of the dregs into a living
scene beyond. I recognized it readily enough. It was my own place of business,
even to the scars on the driveway gate- posts where clumsy truck drivers had clipped
the corner too closely. But there was a new annex wing
on the east side of the lot, and there were two beautiful new five-ton dump
trucks drawn up in the yard with my name painted on them! While I watched I saw myself
step out of the office door and go walking down the street. I was wearing a new
hat, but the suit was the one I was wearing in Mrs Jennings's parlour, and so
was the necktie - a plaid one from the tartan of my clan. I reached up and
touched the original. Mrs Jennings said, That will do
for now,' and I found myself staring at the bottom of the teacup. You have
seen,' she went on, your business need not worry you. As for love and marriage
and children, sickness and health and death - let us look.' She touched the
surface of the dregs with a fingertip; the tea leaves moved gently. She
regarded them closely for a moment. Her brow puckered; she started to speak,
apparently thought better of it, and looked again. Finally she said, I do not
fully understand this. It is not clear; my own shadow falls across it. Perhaps I can see,' offered
Jedson. Keep your peace!' She surprised
me by speaking tartly, and placed her hand over the cup. She turned back to me
with compassion in her eyes. It is not clear. You have two possible futures.
Let your head rule your heart, and do not fret your soul with that which cannot
be. Then you will marry, have children, and be content.' With that she
dismissed the matter, for she said at once to both of us, You did not come here
for divination; you came here for help of another sort.' Again it was a
statement, not a question. What sort of help, mother?'
Jedson inquired. For this.' She shoved my cup
under his nose. He looked at it and answered,
Yes, that is true. Is there help?' I looked into the cup, too, but saw nothing
but tea leaves. She answered, I think so. You
should not have employed Biddle, but the mistake was natural. Let us be going.'
Without further parley she fetched her gloves and purse and coat, perched a
ridiculous old hat on the top of her head, and bustled us out of the house.
There was no discussion of terms; it didn't seem necessary. When we got back to the lot her
workroom was already up. It was not anything fancy like Biddle's, but simply an
old, square tent, like a gypsy's pitch, with a peaked top and made in several
gaudy colours. She pushed aside the shawl that closed the door and invited us
inside. It was gloomy, but she took a
big candle, lighted it and stuck it in the middle of the floor. By its light
she inscribed five circles on the ground .- first a large one, then a somewhat
smaller one in front of it. Then she drew two others, one on each side of the
first and biggest circle. These were each big enough for a man to stand in, and
she told us to do so. Finally she made one more circle off to one side and not
more than a foot across. I've never paid much attention
to the methods of magicians, feeling about them the way Thomas Edison said he
felt about mathematicians - when he wanted one he could hire one. but Mrs Jennings
was different. I wish I could understand the things she did - and why. I know she drew a lot of
cabalistic signs in the dirt within the circles. There were pentacles of
various shapes, and some writing in what I judged to be Hebraic script, though Jedson
says not. In particular there was, I remember, a sign like a long flat Z, with
a loop in it, woven in and out of a Maltese cross. Two more candles were
lighted and placed on each side of this. Then she jammed the dagger -
arthame, Jedson called it - with which she had scribed the figures into the
ground at the top of the big circle so hard that it quivered. It continued to
vibrate the whole time. She placed a little folding
stool in the centre of the biggest circle, sat down on it, drew out a small
book, and commenced to read aloud in a voiceless whisper. I could not catch the
words, and presume I was not meant to. This went on for some time. I glanced
around and saw that the little circle off to one side was now occupied - by
Seraphin, her cat. We had left him shut up in her house. He sat quietly,
watching everything that took place with dignified interest. Presently she shut the book and
threw a pinch of powder into the flame of the largest candle. It flared up and
threw out a great puff of smoke. I am not quite sure what happened next, as the
smoke smarted my eyes and made me blink, besides which, Jedson says I don't
understand the purpose of fumigations at all. But I prefer to believe my eyes.
Either that cloud of smoke solidified into a body or it covered up an entrance,
one or the other. Standing in the middle of the
circle in front of Mrs Jennings was a short, powerful man about four feet high
or less. His shoulders were inches broader than mine, and his upper arms were
thick as my thighs, knotted and bowed with muscle. He was dressed in a
breechcloth, buskins, and a little hooded cap. His skin was hairless, but rough
and earthy in texture. It was dull, lustreless. Everything about him was the
same dull monotone, except his eyes, which shone green with repressed fury. Well!' said Mrs Jennings
crisply, you've been long enough getting here! What have you to say for
yourself?' He answered sullenly, like an
incorrigible boy caught but not repentant, in a language filled with rasping
gutturals and sibilants. She listened awhile, then cut him off. I don't care who told you to;
you'll account to me! I require this harm repaired - in less time than it takes
to tell it!' He answered back angrily, and
she dropped into his language, so that I could no longer follow the meaning.
But it was clear that I was concerned in it; he threw me several dirty looks,
and finally glared and spat in my direction. Mrs Jennings reached out and
cracked him across the mouth with the back of her hand. He looked at her, killing
in his eye, and said something. So?' she answered, put out a
hand and grabbed him by the nape of the neck and swung him across her lap, face
down. She snatched off a shoe and whacked him soundly with it. He let out one
yelp, then kept silent, but jerked every time she struck him. When she was through she stood
up, spilling him to the ground. He picked himself up and hurriedly scrambled
back into his own circle, where he stood, rubbing himself. Mrs Jennings's eyes
snapped and her voice crackled; there was nothing feeble about her now. You
gnomes are getting above yourselves,' she scolded. I never heard of such a
thing! One more slip on your part and I'll fetch your people to see you
spanked! Get along with you. Fetch your people for your task, and summon your
brother and your brother's brother. By the great Tetragrammaton, get hence to
the place appointed for you!' He was gone. Our next visitant came almost at
once. It appeared first as a tiny spark hanging in the air. It grew into a
living flame, a fireball, six inches or more across. It floated above the
centre of the second circle at the height of Mrs Jennings's eyes. It danced and
whirled and flamed, feeding on nothing. Although I had never seen one, I knew
it to be a salamander. It couldn't be anything else. Mrs Jennings watched it for a
little time before speaking. I could see that she was enjoying its dance, as I
was. It was a perfect and beautiful thing, with no fault in it. There was life
in it, a singing joy, with no concern for - with no relation to -
matters of right and wrong, or anything human. Its harmonies of colour and
curve were their own reason for being. I suppose I'm pretty
matter-of-fact. At least I've always lived by the principle of doing my job and
letting other things take care of themselves. But here was something that was
worth while in itself, no matter what harm it did by my standards. Even the cat
was purring. Mrs Jennings spoke to it in a
clear, singing soprano that had no words to it. It answered back in pure liquid
notes while the colours of its nucleus varied to suit the pitch. She turned to
me and said, It admits readily enough that it burned your place, but it was
invited to do so and is not capable of appreciating your point of view. I
dislike to compel it against its own nature. Is there any boon you can offer
it?' I thought for a moment. Tell it
that it makes me happy to watch it dance.' She sang again to it. It spun and
leaped, its flame tendrils whirling and floating in intricate, delightful
patterns. That was good, but not
sufficient. Can you think of anything else?' I thought hard. Tell it that if
it likes, I will build a fireplace in my house where it will be welcome to live
whenever it wishes.' She nodded approvingly and spoke
to it again. I could almost understand its answer, but Mrs Jennings translated.
It likes you. Will you let it approach you?' Can it hurt me?' Not here.' All right then.' She drew a T between our two
circles. It followed closely behind the arthame, like a cat at an opening door.
Then it swirled about me and touched me lightly on my hands and face. Its touch
did not burn, but tingled, rather, as if I felt its vibrations directly instead
of sensing them as heat. It flowed over my face. I was plunged into a world of
light, like the heart of the aurora borealis. I was afraid to breathe at first,
but finally had to. No harm came to me, though the tingling was increased. It's an odd thing, but I have
not had a single cold since the salamander touched me. I used to sniffle all
winter. Enough, enough,' I heard Mrs
Jennings saying. The cloud of flame withdrew from me and returned to its
circle. The musical discussion resumed, and they reached an agreement almost at
once, for Mrs Jennings nodded with satisfaction and said: Away with you then, fire child,
and return when you are needed. Get hence-' She repeated the formula she had
used on the gnome king. The undine did not show up at
once. Mrs Jennings took out her book again and read from it in a monotonous
whisper. I was beginning to be a bit sleepy - the tent was stuffy - when the
cat commenced to spit. It was glaring at the centre circle, claws out, back
arched, and tail made big. There was a shapeless something
in that circle, a thing that dripped and spread its slimy moisture to the limit
of the magic ring. It stank of fish and kelp and iodine, and shone with a wet
phosphorescence. You're late,' said Mrs Jennings.
You got my message; why did you wait until I compelled you?' It heaved with a sticky, sucking
sound, but made no answer. Very well,' she said firmly, I
shan't argue with you. You know what I want. You will do it!' She stood up and
grasped the big centre candle. Its flame flared up into a torch a yard high,
and hot. She thrust it past her circle at the undine. There was a hiss, as when water
strikes hot iron, and a burbling scream. She jabbed at it again and again. At
last she stopped and stared down at it, where it lay, quivering and drawing
into itself. That will do,' she said. Next time you will heed your mistress.
Get hence!' It seemed to sink into the ground, leaving the dust dry behind it. When it was gone she motioned
for us to enter her circle, breaking our own with the dagger to permit us.
Seraphin jumped lightly from his little circle to the big one and rubbed
against her ankles, buzzing loudly. She repeated a meaningless series of
syllables and clapped her hands smartly together. There was a rushing and roaring.
The sides of the tent billowed and cracked. I heard the chuckle of water and
the crackle of flames, and, through that, the bustle of hurrying footsteps. She
looked from side to side, and wherever her gaze fell the wall of the tent
became transparent. I got hurried glimpses of unintelligible confusion. Then it all ceased with a
suddenness that was startling. The silence rang in our ears. The tent was gone;
we stood in the loading yard outside my main warehouse. It was there! It was back - back
unharmed, without a trace of damage by fire or water. I broke away and ran out
the main gate to where my business office had faced on the street. It was
there, just as it used to be, the show windows shining in the sun, the Rotary
Club emblem in one corner, and up on the roof my big two-way sign: ARCHIBALD FRASER BUILDING MATERIALS & GENERAL
CONTRACTING Jedson strolled out presently
and touched me on the arm. What are you bawling about, Archie?' I stared at him. I wasn't aware
that I had been. We were doing business as usual
on Monday morning. I thought everything was back to normal and that my troubles
were over. I was too hasty in my optimism. It was nothing you could put
your finger on at first - just the ordinary vicissitudes of business, the
little troubles that turn up in any line of work and slow up production. You
expect them and charge them off to overhead. No one of them would be worth
mentioning alone, except for one thing: they were happening too frequently. You see, in any business run
under a consistent management policy the losses due to unforeseen events should
average out in the course of a year to about the same percentage of total cost.
You allow for that in your estimates. But I started having so many small
accidents and little difficulties that my margin of profit was eaten up. One morning two of my trucks
would not start. We could not find the trouble; I had to put them in the shop
and rent a truck for the day to supplement my one remaining truck. We got our
deliveries made, but I was out the truck rent, the repair bill, and four hours'
overtime for drivers at time and a half. I had a net loss for the day. The very next day I was just
closing a deal with a man I had been trying to land for a couple of years. The
deal was not important, but it would lead to a lot more business in the future,
for he owned quite a bit of income property - some courts and an apartment
house or two, several commercial corners, and held title or options on
well-located lots all over town. He always had repair jobs to place and very
frequently new building jobs. If I satisfied him, he would be a steady customer
with prompt payment, the kind you can afford to deal with on a small margin of
profit. We were standing in the showroom
just outside my office, and talking, having about reached an agreement. There
was a display of Sunprufe paint about three feet from us, the cans stacked in a
neat pyramid. I swear that neither one of us touched it, but it came crashing
to the floor, making a din that would sour milk. That was nuisance enough, but
not the pay-off. The cover flew off one can, and my prospect was drenched with
red paint. He let out a yelp; I thought he was going to faint. I managed to get
him back into my office, where I dabbed futilely at his suit with my
handkerchief, while trying to calm him down. He was in a state, both mentally
and physically. Fraser,' he raged, you've got to fire the clerk that knocked
over those cans! Look at me! Eighty-five dollars' worth of suit ruined!' Let's not be hasty,' I said
soothingly, while holding my own temper in. I won't discharge a man to suit a
customer, and don't like to be told to do so. There wasn't anyone near those
cans but ourselves.' I suppose you think I did it?' Not at all. I know you didn't.'
I straightened up, wiped my hands, and went over to my desk and got out my
chequebook. Then you must have done it!' I don't think so,' I answered
patiently. How much did you say your suit was worth?' Why?' I want to write you a cheque for
the amount.' I was quite willing to; I did not feel to blame, but it had
happened through no fault of his in my shop. You can't get out of it as
easily as that!' he answered unreasonably. It isn't the cost of the suit I
mind-' He jammed his hat on his head and stumped out. I knew his reputation;
I'd seen the last of him. That is the sort of thing I
mean. Of course it could have been an accident caused by clumsy stacking of the
cans. But it might have been a Poltergeist. Accidents don't make
themselves. Ditworth came to see me a day or
so later about Biddle's phony bill. I had been subjected night and morning to
this continuous stream of petty annoyances, and my temper was wearing thin.
Just that day a gang of coloured bricklayers had quit one of my jobs because
some moron had scrawled some chalk marks on some of the bricks. Voodoo marks,'
they said they were, and would not touch a brick. I was in no mood to be held
up by Mr Ditworth; I guess I was pretty short with him. Good day to you, Mr Fraser,' he
said quite pleasantly, can you spare me a few minutes?' Ten minutes, perhaps,' I
conceded, glancing at my wristwatch. He settled his briefcase against
the legs of his chair and took out some papers. I'll come to the point at once
then. It's about Dr Biddle's claim against you. You and I are both fair men; I
feel sure that we can come to some equitable agreement.' Biddle has no claim against me.'
He nodded. I know just how you
feel. Certainly there is nothing in the written contract obligating you to pay
him. But there can be implied contracts just as binding as written contracts.' I don't follow you. All my
business is done in writing' Certainly,' he agreed; that's
because you are a businessman. In the professions the situation is somewhat
different. If you go to a dental surgeon and ask him to pull an aching tooth,
and he does, you are obligated to pay his fee, even though a fee has never been
mentioned-' That's true,' I interrupted, but
there is no parallel. Biddle didn't "pull the tooth .' In a way he did:' Ditworth
persisted. The claim against you is for the survey, which was a service
rendered you before this contract was written. But no mention was made of a.
service fee.' That is where the implied
obligation comes in, Mr Fraser; you told Dr Biddle that you had talked with me.
He assumed quite correctly that I had previously explained to you the standard
system of fees under the association-' But I did not join the
association!' I know, I know. And I explained
that to the other directors, but they insist that some sort of an adjustment
must be made. I don't feel myself that you are fully to blame: but you will
understand our position, I am sure. We are unable to accept you for membership
in the association until this matter is adjusted - in fairness to Dr Biddle.' What makes you think I intend to
join the association?' He looked hurt. I had not expected
you to take that attitude, Mr Fraser. The association needs men of your
calibre. But in your own interest, you will necessarily join, for presently it
will be very difficult to get efficient thaumaturgy except from members of the
association. We want to help you. Please don't make it difficult for us.' I stood up. I am afraid you had
better sue me and let a court decide the matter, Mr Ditworth. That seems to be
the only satisfactory solution.' I am sorry,' he said, shaking
his head. It will prejudice your position when you come up for membership.' Then it will just have to do
so,' I said shortly, and showed him out. After he had gone I crabbed at
my office girl for doing something I told her to do the day before, and then
had to apologize. I walked up and down a bit, stewing, although there was
plenty of work I should have been doing. I was nervous; things had begun to get
my goat - a dozen things that I haven't mentioned - and this last unreasonable
demand from Ditworth seemed to be the last touch needed to upset me completely.
Not that he could collect by suing me - that was preposterous - but it was an
annoyance just the same. They say the Chinese have a torture that consists in
letting one drop of water fall on the victim every few minutes. That's the way
I felt. Finally I called up Jedson and
asked him to go to lunch with me. I felt better after lunch.
Jedson soothed me down, as he always does, and I was able to forget and put in
the past most of the things that had been annoying me simply by telling him
about them. By the time I had had a second cup of coffee and smoked a cigarette
I was almost fit for polite society. We strolled back towards my
shop, discussing his problems for a change. It seems the blonde girl, the white
witch from Jersey City, had finally managed to make her synthesis stunt work on
footgear. But there was still a hitch; she had turned out over eight hundred
left shoes - and no right ones. We were just speculating as to
the probable causes of such a contretemps when Jedson said, Look, Archie. The candid
camera fans are beginning to take an interest in you.' I looked. There was a chap
standing at the curb directly across from my place of business and focusing a
camera on the shop. Then I looked again. Joe,' I snapped, that's the bird I
told you about, the one that came into my shop and started the trouble!' Are you sure?' he asked,
lowering his voice. Positive.' There was no doubt
about it; he was only a short distance away on the same side of the street that
we were. It was the same racketeer who had tried to blackmail me into buying
protection', the same Mediterranean look to him, the same flashy clothes. We've got to grab him,'
whispered Jedson. But I had already thought of
that. I rushed at him and had grabbed him by his coat collar and the slack of
his pants before he knew what was happening, and pushed him across the street
ahead of me. We were nearly run down, but I was so mad I didn't care. Jedson
came pounding after us. The yard door of my office was open.
I gave the mug a final heave that lifted him over the threshold and sent him
sprawling on the floor, Jedson was right behind; I bolted the door as soon as
we were both inside. Jedson strode over to my desk,
snatched open the middle drawer, and rummaged hurriedly through the stuff that
accumulates in such places. He found what he wanted, a carpenter's blue pencil,
and was back alongside our gangster before he had collected himself sufficiently
to scramble to his feet. Jedson drew a circle around him on the floor, almost
tripping over his own feet in his haste, and closed the circle with an
intricate flourish. Our unwilling guest screeched
when he saw what Joe was doing, and tried to throw himself out of the circle
before it could be finished. But Jedson had been too fast for him - the circle
was closed and sealed; he bounced back from the boundary as if he had struck a
glass wall, and stumbled again to his knees. He remained so for the time, and
cursed steadily in a language that I judged to be Italian, although. I think
there were bad words in it from several other languages - certainly some
English ones. He was quite fluent. Jedson pulled out a cigarette,
lighted it, and handed me one. Let's sit down, Archie,' he said, and rest
ourselves until our boy friend composes himself enough to talk business.' I did so, and we smoked for
several minutes while the flood of invective continued. Presently Jedson cocked
one eyebrow at the chap and said, Aren't you beginning to repeat yourself?' That checked him. He just sat
and glared. Well,' Jedson continued, haven't you anything to say for yourself?'
He growled under his breath and
said, I want to call my lawyer.' Jedson looked amused. You don't understand
the situation,' he told him. You're not under arrest, and we don't give a damn
about your legal rights. We might just conjure up a hole and drop you in it,
then let it relax.' The guy paled a little under his swarthy skin. Oh yes,'
Jedson went on, we are quite capable of doing that - or worse. You see, we
don't like you. Of course,' he added
meditatively, we might just turn you over to the police. I get a soft streak
now and then.' The chap looked sour. You don't like that either? Your fingerprints,
maybe?' Jedson jumped to his feet and in two quick strides was standing over
him, just outside the circle. All right then,' he rapped, answer up and make em
good! Why were you taking photographs?' The chap muttered something, his
eyes lowered. Jedson brushed it aside. Don't give me that stuff - we aren't
children! Who told you to do it?' He looked utterly panic-stricken
at that and shut up completely. Very well,' said Jedson, and
turned to me. Have you some wax, or modeling clay, or anything of the sort?' How would putty do?' I
suggested. Just the thing.' I slid out to
the shed where we stow glaziers' supplies and came back with a five-pound can.
Jedson pried it open and dug out a good big handful, then sat at my desk and
worked the linseed oil into it until it was soft and workable. Our prisoner
watched him with silent apprehension. There! That's about right,' Jedson
announced at length, and slapped the soft lump down on my blotter pad. He
commenced to fashion it with his fingers, and it took shape slowly as a little
doll about ten inches high. It did not look like much of anything or anybody -
Jedson is no artist - but Jedson kept glancing from the figurine to the man in
the circle and back again, like a sculptor making a clay sketch directly from a
model. You could see the chap's nervous terror increase by the minute. Now!' said Jedson, looking once
more from the putty figure to his model. It's just as ugly as you are. Why did
you take that picture?' He did not answer, but slunk
farther back in the circle, his face nastier than ever. Talk!' snorted Jedson, and
twisted a foot of the doll between a thumb and forefinger. The corresponding
foot of our prisoner jerked out from under him and twisted violently. He fell
heavily to the floor with a yelp of pain. You were going to cast a spell
on this place, weren't you?' He made his first coherent answer. No, no, mister!
Not me!' Not you? I see. You were just the errand boy. Who was to do the
magic?' I don't know- Ow! Oh, God!' He
grabbed at his left calf and nursed it. Jedson had jabbed a pen point into the
leg of the doll. I really don't know. Please, please!' Maybe you don't,' Jedson
grudged, but at least you know who gives you your orders, and who some of the
other members of your gang are. Start talking.' He rocked back and forth and
covered his face with his hands. I don't dare, mister,' he groaned. Please
don't try to make me-' Jedson jabbed the doll with the pen again; he jumped and
flinched, but this time he bore it silently with a look of grey determination. OK,' said Jedson, if you
insist-' He took another drag from his cigarette, then brought the lighted end
slowly towards the face of the doll. The man in the circle tried to shrink away
from it, his hands up to protect his face, but his efforts were futile. I could
actually see the skin turn red and angry and the blisters blossom under his
hide. It made me sick to watch it, and, while I didn't feel any real sympathy
for the rat, I turned to Jedson and was about to ask him to stop when he took
the cigarette away from the doll's face. Ready to talk?' he asked. The
man nodded feebly, tears pouring down his scorched cheeks. He seemed about to
collapse. Here - don't faint,' Jedson added, and slapped the face of the doll
with a finger tip. I could hear the smack land, and the chap's head rocked to
the blow, but he seemed to take a brace from it. All right, Archie, you take it
down.' He turned back. And you, my friend, talk - and talk lots. Tell us
everything you know. If you find your memory failing you, stop to think how you
would like my cigarette poked into dolly's eyes!' And he did talk - babbled, in
fact. His spirit seemed to be completely broken, and he even seemed anxious to
talk, stopping only occasionally to sniffle, or wipe at his eyes. Jedson
questioned him to bring out points that were not clear. There were five others in the
gang that he knew about, and the setup was roughly as we had guessed. It was
their object to levy tribute on everyone connected with magic in this end of
town, magicians and their customers alike. No, they did not have any real
protection to offer except from their own mischief. Who was his boss? He told
us. Was his boss the top man in the racket? No, but he did not know who the top
man was. He was quite sure that his boss worked for someone else, but he did
not know who. Even if we burned him again he could not tell us. But it was a
big organization - he was sure of that. He himself had been brought from a city
in the East to help organize here. Was he a magician? So help him,
no! Was his section boss one? No - he was sure; all that sort of thing was
handled from higher up. That was all he knew, and could he go now? Jedson
pressed him to remember other things; he added a number of details, most of
them insignificant, but I took them all down. The last thing he said was that
he thought both of us had been marked down for special attention because we had
been successful in overcoming our first lesson'. Finally Jedson let up on him.
I'm going to let you go now,' he told him. You'd better get out of town. Don't
let me see you hanging around again. But don't go too far; I may want you
again. See this?' He held up the doll and squeezed it gently around the middle.
The poor devil immediately commenced to gasp for breath as if he were being
compressed in a strait jacket. Don't forget that I've got you any time I want
you.' He let up on the pressure, and his victim panted his relief. I'm going to
put your alter ego - doll to you! - where it will be safe, behind cold iron. When
I want you, you'll feel a pain like that' - he nipped the doll's left shoulder
with his fingernails; the man yelped - then you telephone me, no matter where
you are.' Jedson pulled a penknife from
his vest pocket and cut the circle three times, then joined the cuts. Now get
Out!' I thought he would bolt as soon
as he was released, but he did not. He stepped hesitantly over the pencil mark,
stood still for a moment, and shivered. Then he stumbled towards the door. He
turned just before he went through it and looked back at us, his eyes wide with
fear. There was a look of appeal in them, too, and he seemed about to speak.
Evidently he thought better of it, for he turned and went on out. When he was gone I looked back
at Jedson. He had picked up my notes and was glancing through them. I don't
know,' he mused, whether it would be better to turn this stuff at once over to
the Better Business Bureau and let them handle it, or whether to have a go at
it ourselves. It's a temptation.' I was not interested just then.
Joe,' I said, I wish you hadn't burned him!' Eh? How's that?' He seemed
surprised and stopped scratchin' his chin. I didn't burn him.' Don't quibble,' I said, somewhat
provoked. You burned him through the doll, I mean with magic.' But I didn't, Archie. Really I
didn't. He did that to himself - and it wasn't magic. I didn't do a thing!' What the hell do you mean?' Sympathetic magic isn't really
magic at all, Archie. It's just an application of neuropsychology and colloidal
chemistry. He did all that to himself, because he believed in it. I simply
correctly judged his mentality.' The discussion was cut short; we
heard an agony-loaded scream from somewhere outside the building. It broke off
sharply, right at the top. What was that?' I said, and gulped. I don't know,' Jedson answered,
and stepped to the door. He looked up and down before continuing. It must be
some distance away. I didn't see anything.' He came back into the room. As I
was saying, it would be a lot of fun to-' This time it was a police siren.
We heard it from far away, but it came rapidly nearer, turned a corner, and
yowled down our street. We looked at each other. Maybe we'd better go see,' we
both said, right together, then laughed nervously. It was our gangster
acquaintance. We found him half a block down the street, in the middle of a
little group of curious passers-by who were being crowded back by cops from the
squad car at the curb. He was quite dead. He lay on his back, but there
was no repose in the position. He had been raked from forehead to waist, laid
open to the bone in three roughly parallel scratches, as if slashed by the
talons of a hawk or an eagle. But the bird that made those wounds must have
been the size of a five-ton truck. There was nothing to tell from
his expression. His face and throat were covered by, and his mouth choked with,
a yellowish substance shot with purple. It was about the consistency of thin
cottage cheese, but it had the most sickening smell I have ever run up against.
I turned to Jedson, who was not
looking any too happy himself, and said, Let's get back to the office.' We did. We decided at last to do a
little investigating on our own before taking up what we had learned with the
Better Business Bureau or with the police. It was just as well that we did;
none of the gang whose names we had obtained was any longer to be found in the
haunts which we had listed. There was plenty of evidence that such persons had
existed and that they had lived at the addresses which Jedson had sweated out
of their pal. But all of them, without exception, had done a bunk for parts
unknown the same afternoon that their accomplice had been killed. We did not go to the police, for
we had no wish to be associated with an especially unsavoury sudden death.
Instead, Jedson made a cautious verbal report to a friend of his at the Better
Business Bureau, who passed it on secondhand to the head of the racket squad and
elsewhere, as his judgment indicated. I did not have any trouble with
my business for some time thereafter, and I was working very hard, trying to
show a profit for the quarter in spite of setbacks. I had put the whole matter
fairly well out of my mind, except that I dropped over to call on Mrs Jennings
occasionally and that I had used her young friend Jack Bodie once or twice in
my business, when I needed commercial magic. He was a good workman - no monkey
business and value received. I was beginning to think I had
the world on a leash when I ran into another series of accidents. This time
they did not threaten my business; they threatened me - and I'm just as
fond of my neck as the next man. In the house where I live the
water heater is installed in the kitchen. It is a storage type, with a pilot
light and a thermostatically controlled main flame. Right alongside it is a
range with a pilot light. I woke up in the middle of the
night and decided that I wanted a drink of water. When I stepped into the kitchen
- don't ask me why I did not look for a drink in the bathroom, because I don't
know - I was almost gagged by the smell of gas. I ran over and threw the window
wide open, then ducked back out the door and ran into the living room, where I
opened a big window to create a cross draught. At that point there was a dull whoosh
and a boom, and I found myself sitting on the living room rug. I was not hurt, and there was no
damage in the kitchen except for a few broken dishes. Opening the windows had
released the explosion, cushioned the effect. Natural gas is not an explosive
unless it is confined. What had happened was clear enough when I looked over
the scene. The pilot light on the heater had gone out; when the water in the
tank cooled, the thermostat turned on the main gas jet, which continued indefinitely
to pour gas into the room. When an explosive mixture was reached, the pilot
light of the stove was waiting, ready to set it off. Apparently I wandered in at the
zero hour. I fussed at my landlord about
it, and finally we made a dicker whereby he installed one of the electrical
water heaters which I supplied at cost and for which I donated the labour. No magic about the whole
incident, eh? That is what I thought. Now I am not so sure. The next thing that threw a
scare into me occurred the same week, with no apparent connection. I keep a dry
mix - sand, rock, gravel - in the usual big bins set up high on concrete
stanchions, so that the trucks can drive under the hoppers for loading. One
evening after closing time I was walking past the bins when I noticed that
someone had left a scoop shovel in the driveway pit under the hoppers. I have had trouble with my men
leaving tools out at night; I decided to put this one in my car and confront
someone with it in the morning. I was about to jump down into the pit when I
heard my name called. Archibald!' it said - and it
sounded remarkably like Mrs Jennings's voice. Naturally I looked around. There
was no one there. I turned back to the pit in time to hear a cracking sound and
to see that scoop covered with twenty tons of medium gravel. A man can live through being
buried alive, but not when he has to wait overnight for someone to miss him and
dig him out. Acrystallized steel forging was the prima-facie cause of the
mishap. I suppose that will do. There was never anything to
point to but natural causes, yet for about two weeks I stepped on banana peels
both figuratively and literally. I saved my skin with a spot of fast footwork
at least a dozen times. I finally broke down and told Mrs Jennings about it. Don't worry too much about it,
Archie,' she reassured me. It is not too easy to kill a man with magic unless
he himself is involved with magic and sensitive to it.' Might as well kill a man as
scare him to death!' I protested. She smiled that incredible smile
of hers and said, I don't think you have been really frightened, lad. At least
you have not shown it.' I caught an implication in that
remark and taxed her with it. You've been watching me and pulling me out of
jams, haven't you?' She smiled more broadly and
replied, That's my business, Archie. It is not well for the young to depend on
the old for help. Now get along with you. I want to give this matter more
thought.' A couple of days' later a note
came in the mail addressed to me in a spidery, Spencerian script. The
penmanship had the dignified flavour of the last century, and was the least bit
shaky, as if the writer were unwell or very elderly. I had never seen the hand
before, but guessed who it was before I opened it. It read: My dear Archibald: This is to
introduce my esteemed friend, Dr Royce Worthington. You will find him staying
at the Belmont Hotel; he is expecting to hear from you. Dr Worthington is
exceptionally well qualified to deal with the matters that have been troubling
you these few weeks past. You may repose every confidence in his judgment,
especially where unusual measures are required. Please to include your
friend, Mr Jedson, in this introduction, if you wish. I am, sir,
Very sincerely yours,
Amanda Todd Jennings I rang up Joe Jedson and read
the letter to him. He said that he would be over at once, and for me to
telephone Worthington. Is Dr Worthington there?' I
asked as soon as the room clerk had put me through. Speaking,' answered a cultured
British voice with a hint of Oxford in it. This is Archibald Fraser,
Doctor. Mrs Jennings has written to me, suggesting that I look you up.' Oh, yes!' he replied, his voice
warming considerably. I shall be delighted. When will be a convenient time?' If you are free, I could come
right over.' Let me see-' He paused about
long enough to consult a watch. I have occasion to go to your side of the city.
Might I stop by your office in thirty minutes, or a little later?' That will be fine, Doctor, if it
does not discommode you-' Not at all. I will be there.' Jedson arrived a little later
and asked me at once about Dr Worthington. I haven't seen him yet,' I said, but
he sounds like something pretty swank in the way of an English-university don.
He'll be here shortly.' My office girl brought in his
card a half hour later. I got up to greet him and saw a tall, heavy-set man
with a face of great dignity and evident intelligence. He was dressed in rather
conservative, expensively tailored clothes and carried gloves, stick, and a
large briefcase. But he was black as draftsman's ink! I tried not to show surprise. I
hope I did not, for I have an utter horror of showing that kind of rudeness.
There was no reason why the man should not be a Negro. I simply had not been
expecting it. Jedson helped me out. I don't
believe he would show surprise if a fried egg winked at him. He took over the conversion
for the first couple of minutes after I introduced him; we all found chairs,
settled down, and spent a few minutes in the polite, meaningless exchanges that
people make when they are sizing up strangers. Worthington opened the matter.
Mrs Jennings gave me to believe,' he observed, that there was some fashion in
which I might possibly be of assistance to one, or both, of you-' I told him that there certainly
was, and sketched out the background for him from the time the racketeer
contact man first showed up at my shop. He asked a few questions, and Jedson
helped me out with some details. I got the impression that Mrs Jennings had
already told him most of it, and that he was simply checking. Very well,' he said at last, his
voice a deep, mellow rumble that seemed to echo in his big chest before it
reached the air, I am reasonably sure that we will find a way to cope with your
problems, but first I must make a few examinations before we can complete the
diagnosis.' He leaned over and commenced to unstrap his briefcase. Uh . . . Doctor,' I suggested,
hadn't we better complete our arrangements before you start to work?' Arrangements?' He looked
momentarily puzzled, then smiled broadly. Oh, you mean payment. My dear sir, it
is a privilege to do a favour for Mrs Jennings.' But . . . but . . . see here,
Doctor, I'd feel better about it. I assure you I am quite in the habit of
paying for magic-' He held up a hand. It is not
possible, my young friend, for two reasons: In the first place, I am not
licensed to practice in your state. In the second place, I am not a magician.' I suppose I looked as inane as I
sounded. Huh? What's that? Oh! Excuse me, Doctor. I guess I just naturally
assumed that since Mrs Jennings had sent you, and your title, and all-' He continued to smile, but it
was a smile of understanding rather than amusement at my discomfiture. That is
not surprising; even some of your fellow citizens of my blood make that
mistake. No, my degree is an honorary doctor of laws of Cambridge University.
My proper pursuit is anthropology, which I sometimes teach at the University of
South Africa. But anthropology has some odd bypaths; I am here to exercise one
of them.' Well, then, may I ask-' Certainly, sir. My avocation,
freely translated from its quite unpronounceable proper name, is "witch
smeller .' I was still puzzled. But doesn't
that involve magic?' Yes and no. In Africa the
hierarchy and the categories in these matters are not the same as in this
continent. I am not considered a wizard, or witch doctor, but rather an
antidote for such.' Something had been worrying
Jedson. Doctor,' he inquired, you were not originally from South Africa?' Worthington gestured towards his
own face. I suppose that Jedson read something there that was beyond my
knowledge. As you have discerned. No, I was born in a bush tribe south of the
Lower Congo.' From there, eh? That's
interesting. By any chance, are you nganga?' Of the Ndembo, but not by
chance.' He turned to me and explained courteously. Your friend asked me if I
was a member of an occult fraternity which extends throughout Africa, but which
has the bulk of its members in my native territory. Initiates are called
nganga.' Jedson persisted in his
interest. It seems likely to me, Doctor, that Worthington is a name of
convenience - that you have another name.' You are again right - naturally.
My tribal name - do you wish to know it?' If you will.' It is' - I cannot reproduce the
odd clicking, lip-smacking noise he uttered - or it is just as proper to state
it in English, as the meaning is what counts - Man-Who-Asks-Inconvenient-
Questions. Prosecuting attorney is another reasonably idiomatic, though not
quite literal, translation, because of the tribal functions implied. But it
seems to me,' he went on, with a smile of unmalicious humour, that the name
fits you even better than it does me. May I give it to you?' Here occurred something that I
did not understand, except that it must have its basis in some African custom
completely foreign to our habits of thought. I was prepared to laugh at the
doctor's witticism, and I am sure he meant it to be funny, but Jedson answered
him quite seriously: I am deeply honoured to accept.'
It is you who honour me,
brother.' From then on, throughout our
association with him, Dr Worthington invariably addressed Jedson by the African
name he had formerly claimed as his own, and Jedson called him brother' or
Royce'. Their whole attitude towards each other underwent a change, as if the
offer and acceptance of a name had in fact made them brothers, with all of the
privileges and obligations of the relationship. I have not left you without a
name,' Jedson added. You had a third name, your real name?' Yes, of course,' Worthington
acknowledged, a name which we need not mention.' Naturally,' Jedson agreed, a
name which must not be mentioned. Shall we get to work, then?' Yes, let us do so.' He turned to
me. Have you some place here where I may make my preparations? It need not be
large-' Will this do?' I offered,
getting up and opening the door of a cloak- and washroom which adjoins my
office. Nicely, thank you,' he said, and
took himself and his briefcase inside, closing the door after him. He was gone
ten minutes at least. Jedson did not seem disposed to
talk, except to suggest that I caution my girl not to disturb us or let anyone
enter from the outer office. We sat and waited. Then he came out of the
cloakroom, and I got my second big surprise of the day. The urbane Dr
Worthington was gone. In his place was an African personage who stood over six
feet tall in his bare black feet, and whose enormous, arched chest was overlaid
with thick, sleek muscles of polished obsidian. He was dressed in a loin skin
of leopard, and carried certain accoutrements, notably a pouch, which hung at
his waist. But it was not his equipment
that held me, nor yet the John Henrylike proportions of that warrior frame, but
the face. The eyebrows were painted white and the hairline had been outlined in
the same colour, but I hardly noticed these things. It was the expression -
humourless, implacable, filled with a dignity and strength which must be felt
to be appreciated. The eyes gave a conviction of wisdom beyond my
comprehension, and there was no pity in them - only a stem justice that I
myself would not care to face. We white men in this country are
inclined to underestimate the black man - I know I do - because we see him out
of his cultural matrix. Those we know have had their own culture wrenched from
them some generations back and a servile pseudo culture imposed on them by
force. We forget that the black man has a culture of his own, older than ours
and more solidly grounded, based on character and the power of the mind rather
than the cheap, ephemeral tricks of mechanical gadgets. But it is a stern,
fierce culture with no sentimental concern for the weak and the unfit, and it
never quite dies out. I stood up in involuntary
respect when Dr Worthington entered the room. Let us begin,' he said in a
perfectly ordinary voice, and squatted down, his great toes spread and grasping
the floor. He took several things out of the pouch - a dog's tail, a wrinkled
black object the size of a man's fist, and other things hard to identify. He
fastened the tail to his waist so that it hung down behind. Then he picked up
one of the things that he had taken from the pouch - a small item, wrapped and
tied in red silk - and said to me, Will you open your safe?' I did so, and stepped back out
of his way. He thrust the little bundle inside, clanged the door shut, and spun
the knob. I looked inquiringly at Jedson. He has his . . . well .. . soul
in that package, and has sealed it away behind cold iron. He does not know what
dangers he may encounter,' Jedson whispered. See?' I looked and saw him pass
his thumb carefully all around the crack that joined the safe to its door. He returned to the middle of the
floor and picked up the wrinkled black object and rubbed it affectionately.
This is my mother's father,' he announced. I looked at it more closely and saw
that it was a mummified human head with a few wisps of hair still clinging to
the edge of the scalp! He is very wise,' he continued in a matter-of-fact
voice, and I shall need his advice. Grandfather, this is your new son and his
friend.' Jedson bowed, and I found myself doing so. They want our help.' He started to converse with the
head in his own tongue, listening from time to time, and then answering. Once
they seemed to get into an argument, but the matter must have been settled
satisfactorily, for the palaver soon quieted down. After a few minutes he
ceased talking and glanced around the room. His eye lit on a bracket shelf
intended for an electric fan, which was quite high off the floor. There!' he said. That will do
nicely. Grandfather needs a high place from which to watch.' He bent over and
placed the little head on the bracket so that it faced out into the room. When he returned to his place in
the middle of the room he dropped to all fours and commenced to cast around
with his nose like a hunting dog trying to pick up a scent. He ran back and
forth, snuffling and whining, exactly like a pack leader worried by mixed
trails. The tail fastened to his waist stood up tensely and quivered, as if
still part of a live animal. His gait and his mannerisms mimicked those of a
hound so convincingly that I blinked my eyes when he sat down suddenly and
announced: I've never seen a place more
loaded with traces of magic. I can pick out Mrs Jennings's very strongly and
your own business magic. But after I eliminate them the air is still crowded.
You must have had everything but a rain dance and a sabbat going on around
you!' He dropped back into his
character of a dog without giving us a chance to reply, and started making his
casts a little wider. Presently he appeared to come to some sort of an impasse,
for he settled back, looked at the head, and whined vigorously. Then he waited.
The reply must have satisfied
him; he gave a sharp bark and dragged open the bottom drawer of a file cabinet,
working clumsily, as if with paws instead of hands. He dug into the back of the
drawer eagerly and hauled out something which he popped into his pouch. After that he trotted very
cheerfully around the place for a short time, until he had poked his nose into
every odd corner. When he had finished he returned to the middle of the floor,
squatted down again, and said, That takes care of everything here for the
present. This place is the centre of their attack, so grandfather has agreed to
stay and watch here until I can bind a cord around your place to keep witches
out.' I was a little perturbed at
that. I was sure the head would scare my office girl half out of her wits if
she saw it. I said so as diplomatically as possible. How about that?' he asked the head,
then turned back to me after a moment of listening. Grandfather says it's all
right; he won't let anyone see him he has not been introduced to.' It turned
out that he was perfectly correct; nobody noticed it, not even the scrubwoman. Now then,' he went on, I want to
check over my brother's place of business at the earliest opportunity, and I
want to smell out both of your homes and insulate them against mischief. In the
meantime, here is some advice for each of you to follow carefully: Don't let
anything of yourself fall into the hands of strangers - nail parings, spittle,
hair cuttings - guard it all. Destroy them by fire, or engulf them in running
water. It will make our task much simpler. I am finished.' He got up and strode
back into the cloakroom. Ten minutes later the dignified
and scholarly Dr Worthington was smoking a cigarette with us. I had to look up
at his grandfather's head to convince myself that a jungle lord had actually
been there. Business was picking up at that
time, and I had no more screwy accidents after Dr Worthington cleaned out the
place. I could see a net profit for the quarter and was beginning to feel
cheerful again. I received a letter from Ditworth, dunning me about Biddle's
phony claim, but I filed it in the wastebasket without giving it a thought. One day shortly before noon
Feldstein, the magicians' agent, dropped into my place. Hi, Zack!' I said
cheerfully when he walked in. How's business?' Mr Fraser, of all questions,
that you should ask me that one,' he said, shaking his head mournfully from
side to side. Business - it is terrible.' Why do you say that?' I asked. I
see lots of signs of activity around-' Appearances are deceiving,' he
insisted, especially in my business. Tell me - have you heard of a concern
calling themselves "Magic, Incorporated ?' That's funny,' I told him. I
just did, for the first time. This just came in the mail' - and I held up an
unopened letter. It had a return address on it of Magic, Incorporated, Suite
700, Commonwealth Building'. Feldstein took it gingerly, as
if he thought it might poison him, and inspected it. That's the parties I
mean,' he confirmed. The gonophs!' Why, what's the trouble, Zack?' They don't want that a man
should make an honest living - Mr Fraser,' he interrupted himself
anxiously, you wouldn't quit doing business with an old friend who had always
done right by you?' Of course not, Zack, but what's
it all about?' Read it. Go ahead.' He shoved
the letter back at me. I opened it. The paper was a
fine quality, watermarked, rag bond, and the letterhead was chaste and
dignified. I glanced over the stuffed-shirt committee and was quite agreeably
impressed by the calibre of men they had as officers and directors - big men,
all of them, except for a couple of names among the executives that I did not
recognize. The letter itself amounted to an
advertising prospectus. It was a new idea; I suppose you could call it a
holding company for magicians. They offered to provide any and all kinds of
magical service. The customer could dispense with shopping around; he could
call this one number, state his needs, and the company would supply the service
and bill him. It seemed fair enough - no more than an incorporated agency. I glanced on down. -fully
guaranteed service, backed by the entire assets of a responsible company--'
-surprisingly low standard fees, made possible by elimination of fee splitting
with agents and by centralized administration-' The gratifying response from
the members of the great profession enables us to predict that Magic,
Incorporated, will be the natural source to turn to for competent thaumaturgy
in any line - probably the only source of truly first-rate magic-' I put it down. Why worry about
it, Zack? It's just another agency. As for their claims - I've heard you say
that you have all the best ones in your stable. You didn't expect to be
believed, did you?' No,' he conceded, not quite,
maybe - among us two. But this is really serious, Mr Fraser. They've hired away
most of my really first-class operators with salaries and bonuses I can't
match. And now they offer magic to the public at a price that undersells those
I've got left. It's ruin, I'm telling you.' It was hard lines. Feldstein was
a nice little guy who grabbed the nickels the way he did for a wife and five
beady- eyed kids, to whom he was devoted. But I felt he was exaggerating; he
has a tendency to dramatize himself. Don't worry,' I said, I'll stick by you,
and so, I imagine, will most of your customers. This outfit can't get all the
magicians together; they're too independent. Look at Ditworth. He tried with
his association. What did it get him?' Ditworth - aagh!' He started to
spit, then remembered he was in my office. This is Ditworth - this
company!' How do you figure that? He's not
on the letterhead.' I found out. You think he wasn't
successful because you held out. They held a meeting of the directors of the
association - that's Ditworth and his two secretaries - and voted the contracts
over to the new corporation. Then Ditworth resigns and his stooge steps in as
front for the nonprofit association, and Ditworth runs both companies. You will
see! If we could open the books of Magic, Incorporated, you will find he has
voting control. I know it!' It seems unlikely,' I said
slowly. You'll see! Ditworth with all
his fancy talk about a nonprofit service for the improvement of standards
shouldn't be any place around Magic, Incorporated, should he, now? You call up
and ask for him-' I did not answer, but dialed the
number on the letterhead. When a girl's voice said, Good morning - Magic,
Incorporated,' I said: Mr Ditworth, please.' She hesitated quite a long time,
then said, Who is calling, please?' That made it my turn to
hesitate. I did not want to talk to Ditworth; I wanted to establish a fact. I
finally said, Tell him it's Dr Biddle's office.' Whereupon she answered readily
enough, but with a trace of puzzlement in her voice, But Mr Ditworth is not in
the suite just now; he was due in Dr Biddle's office half an hour ago. Didn't he
arrive?' Oh,' I said, perhaps he's with
the chief and I didn't see him come in. Sorry.' And I rang off. I guess you are right,' I
admitted, turning back to Feldstein. He was too worried to be pleased
about it. Look,' he said, I want you should have lunch with me and talk about
it some more.' I was just on my way to the
Chamber of Commerce luncheon. Come along and we'll talk on the way. You're a
member.' All right,' he agreed dolefully.
Maybe I can't afford it much longer.' We were a little late and had to
take separate seats. The treasurer stuck the kitty under my nose and twisted
her tail'. He wanted a ten-cent fine from me for being late. The kitty is an
ordinary frying pan with a mechanical bicycle bell mounted on the handle. We
pay all fines on the spot, which is good for the treasury and a source of
innocent amusement. The treasurer shoves the pan at you and rings the bell
until you pay up. I hastily produced a dime and
dropped it in. Steve Harris, who has an automobile agency, yelled, That's right!
Make the Scotchman pay up!' and threw a roll at me. Ten cents for disorder,'
announced our chairman, Norman Somers, without looking up. The treasurer put
the bee on Steve. I heard the coin clink into the pan, then the bell was rung
again. What's the trouble?' asked
Somers. More of Steve's tricks,' the
treasurer reported in a tired voice. Fairy gold, this time.' Steve had chucked
in a synthetic coin that some friendly magician had made up for him. Naturally,
when it struck cold iron it melted away. Two bits more for
counterfeiting,' decided Somers, then handcuff him and ring up the United
States attorney.' Steve is quite a card, but he does not put much over on
Norman. Can't I finish my lunch first?'
asked Steve, in tones that simply dripped with fake self-pity. Norman ignored
him and he paid up. Steve, better have fun while you
can,' commented Al Donahue, who runs a string of drive-in restaurants. When you
sign up with Magic, Incorporated, you will have to cut out playing tricks with
magic.' I sat up and listened. Who said I was going to sign up
with them?' Huh? Of course you are. It's the
logical thing to do. Don't be a dope.' Why should I?' Why should you? Why, it's the
direction of progress, man. Take my case: I put out the fanciest line of vanishing
desserts of any eating place in town. You can eat three of them if you like,
and not feel full and not gain an ounce. Now I've been losing money on them,
but kept them for advertising because of the way they bring in the women's
trade. Now Magic, Incorporated, comes along and offers me the same thing at a
price I can make money with them too. Naturally, I signed up. You would. Suppose they raise
the prices on you after they have hired, or driven out of business, every
competent wizard in town?' Donahue laughed in a superior,
irritating way. I've got a contract.' So? How long does it run? And
did you read the cancellation clause?' I knew what he was talking
about, even if Donahue didn't; I had been through it. About five years ago a
Portland cement firm came into town and began buying up the little dealers and
cutting prices against the rest. They ran sixty-cent cement down to thirty-five
cents a sack and broke their competitors. Then they jacked it back up by easy
stages until cement sold for a dollar twenty-five. The boys took a whipping
before they knew what had happened to them. We all had to shut up about
then, for the guest speaker, old B. J. Timken, the big subdivider, started in.
He spoke on Cooperation and Service'. Although he is not exactly a
scintillating speaker, he had some very inspiring things to say about how
businessmen could serve the community and help each other; I enjoyed it. After the clapping died down,
Norman Somers thanked B. J. and said, That's all for today, gentlemen, unless
there is some new business to bring before the house-' Jedson got up. I was sitting
with my back to him, and had not known he was present. I think there is, Mr
Chairman - a very important matter. I ask the indulgence of the Chair for a few
minutes of informal discussion. Somers answered, Certainly, Joe,
if you've got something important.' Thanks. I think it is. This is
really an extension of the discussion between Al Donahue and Steve Harris
earlier in the meeting. I think there has been a major change in business
conditions going on in this city right under our noses and we haven't noticed
it, except where it directly affected our own businesses. I refer to the trade
in commercial magic. How many of you use magic in your business? Put your hands
up.' All the hands went up, except for a couple of lawyers'. Personally, I had
always figured they were magicians themselves. OK,' Jedson went on, put them
down. We knew that; we all use it. I use it for textiles. Hank Manning here
uses nothing else for cleaning and pressing, and probably uses it for some of
his dye jobs too. Wally Haight's Maple Shop uses it to assemble and finish fine
furniture. Stan Robertson will tell you that Le Bon Marchй's slick window
displays are thrown together with spells, as well as two thirds of the
merchandise in his store, especially in the kids' toy department. Now I want to
ask you another question: In how many cases is the percentage of your cost
charged to magic greater than your margin of profits? Think about it for a
moment before answering.' He paused, then said: All right - put up your hands.'
Nearly as many hands went up as
before. That's the point of the whole
matter. We've got to have magic to stay in business. If anyone gets a strangle
hold on magic in this community, we are all at his mercy. We would have to pay
any prices that are handed us, charge the prices we are told to, and take what
profits we are allowed to - or go out of business!' The chairman interrupted him.
Just a minute, Joe. Granting that what you say is true - it is, of course - do
you have any reason to feel that we are confronted with any particular
emergency in the matter?' Yes, I do have.' Joe's voice was
low and very serious. Little reasons, most of them, but they add up to convince
me that someone is engaged in a conspiracy in restraint of trade.' Jedson ran
rapidly over the history of Ditworth's attempt to organize magicians and their
clients into an association, presumably to raise the standards of the
profession, and how alongside the nonprofit association had suddenly appeared a
capital corporation which was already in a fair way to becoming a monopoly. Wait a second, Joe,' put in Ed
Parmelee, who has a produce jobbing business. I think that association is a
fine idea. I was threatened by some rat who tried to intimidate me into letting
him pick my magicians. I took it up with the association, and they took care of
it; I didn't have any more trouble. I think an organization which can clamp
down on racketeers is a pretty fine thing.' You had to sign with the
association to get their help, didn't you?' Why, yes, but that's entirely
reasonable-' Isn't it possible that your
gangster got what he wanted when you signed up?' Why, that seems pretty
farfetched.' I don't say,' persisted Joe,
that is the explanation, but it is a distinct possibility. It would not be the
first time that monopolists used goon squads with their left hands to get by
coercion what their right hands could not touch. I wonder whether any of the
rest of you have had similar experiences?' It developed that several of
them had. I could see them beginning to think. One of the lawyers present
formally asked a question through the chairman. Mr Chairman, passing for the
moment from the association to Magic, Incorporated, is this corporation
anything more than a union of magicians? If so, have they a legal right to
organize?' Norman turned to Jedson. Will
you answer that, Joe?' Certainly. It is not a union at
all. It is a parallel to a situation in which all the carpenters in town are
employees of one contractor; you deal with that contractor or you don't build.'
Then it's a simple case of
monopoly - if it is a monopoly. This state has a Little Sherman Act; you can
prosecute.~ I think you will find that it is
a monopoly. Have any of you noticed that there are no magicians present at
today's meet? We all looked around. It was perfectly true. I think you can
expect,' he added, to find magicians represented hereafter in this chamber by
some executive of Magic, Incorporated. With respect to the possibility of
prosecution' - he hauled a folded newspaper out of his hip pocket - have any of
you paid any attention to the governor's call for a special session of the
legislature?' Al Donahue remarked
superciliously that he was too busy making a living to waste any time on the
political game. It was a deliberate dig at Joe, for everybody knew that he was
a committee-man, and spent quite a lot of time on civic affairs. The dig must
have gotten under Joe's skin, for he said pityingly, Al, it's a damn good thing
for you that some of us are willing to spend a little time on government, or
you would wake up some morning to find they had stolen the sidewalks in front
of your house.' The chairman rapped for order;
Joe apologized. Donahue muttered something under his breath about the whole
political business being dirty, and that anyone associated with it was bound to
turn crooked. I reached out for an ashtray and knocked over a glass of water,
which spilled into Donahue's lap. It diverted his mind. Joe went on talking. Of course we knew a special
session was likely for several reasons, but when they published the agenda of
the call last night, I found tucked away towards the bottom an item
"Regulation of Thaumaturgy . I couldn't believe that there was any reason
to deal with such a matter in a special session unless something was up. I got
on the phone last night and called a friend of mine at the capitol, a fellow
committee member. She did not know anything about it, but she called me back
later. Here's what she found out: The item was stuck into the agenda at the
request of some of the governor's campaign backers; he has no special interest
in it himself. Nobody seems to know what it is all about, but one bill on the
subject has already been dropped in the hopper-' There was an interruption;
somebody wanted to know what the bill said. I'm trying to tell you,' Joe
said patiently. The bill was submitted by title alone; we won't be likely to
know its contents until it is taken up in committee. But here is the title:
"A Bill to Establish Professional Standards for Thaumaturgists, Regulate
the Practice of the Thaumaturgic Profession, Provide for the Appointment of a
Commission to Examine, License, and Administer- and so on. As you can see, it
isn't even a proper title; it's just an omnibus on to which they can hang any
sort of legislation regarding magic, including an abridgement of anti- monopoly
regulation if they choose.' There was a short silence after
this. I think all of us were trying to make up our minds on a subject that we
were not really conversant with - politics. Presently someone spoke up and
said, What do you think we ought to do about it?' Well,' he answered, we at least
ought to have our own representative at the capitol to protect us in the
clinches. Besides that, we at least ought to be prepared to submit our own
bill, if this one has any tricks in it, and bargain for the best compromise we
can get. We should at least get an implementing amendment out of it that would
put some real teeth into the state anti-trust act, at least in so far as magic
is concerned.' He grinned. That's four "at leasts , I think.' Why can't the state Chamber of
Commerce handle it for us? They maintain a legislative bureau.' Sure, they have a lobby, but you
know perfectly well that the state chamber doesn't see eye to eye with us
little businessmen. We can't depend on them; we may actually be fighting them.'
There was quite a powwow after
Joe sat down. Everybody had his own ideas about what to do and tried to express
them all at once. It became evident that there was no general agreement,
whereupon Somers adjourned the meeting with the announcement that those
interested in sending a representative to the capitol should stay. A few of the
diehards like Donahue left, and the rest of us reconvened with Somers again in
the chair. It was suggested that Jedson should be the one to go, and he agreed
to do it. Feldstein got up and made a
speech with tears in his eyes. He wandered and did not seem to be getting
anyplace, but finally he managed to get out that Jedson would need a good big
war chest to do any good at the capitol, and also should be compensated for his
expenses and loss of time. At that he astounded us by pulling out a roll of
bills, counting out one thousand dollars, and shoving it over in front of Joe. That display of sincerity caused
him to be made finance chairman by general consent, and the subscriptions came
in very nicely. I held down my natural impulses and matched Feldstein's
donation, though I did wish he had not been quite so impetuous. I think
Feldstein had a slight change of heart a little later, for he cautioned Joe to
be economical and not to waste a lot of money buying liquor for those schlemiels
at the capitol'. Jedson shook his head at this,
and said that while he intended to pay his own expenses, he would have to have
a free hand in the spending of the fund, particularly with respect to
entertainment. He said the time was too short to depend on sweet reasonableness
and disinterested patriotism alone - that some of those lunkheads had no more
opinions than a weather vane and would vote to favour the last man they had had
a drink with. Somebody made a shocked remark
about bribery. I don't intend to bribe anyone,' Jedson answered with a brittle
note in his voice. If it comes to swapping bribes, we're licked to start with.
I am just praying that there are still enough unpledged votes up there to make
a little persuasive talking and judicious browbeating worth while.' He got his own way, but I could
not help agreeing privately with Feldstein. And I made a resolution to pay a
little more attention to politics thereafter; I did not even know the name of
my own legislator. How did I know whether or not he was a high-calibre man or
just a cheap opportunist? And that is how Jedson, Bodie,
and myself happened to find ourselves on the train, headed for the capitol. Bodie went along because Jedson
wanted a first-rate magician to play bird dog for him. He said he did not know
what might turn up. I went along because I wanted to. I had never been to the
capitol before, except to pass through, and was interested to see how this
law-making business is done. Jedson went straight to the
Secretary of State's office to register as a lobbyist, while Jack and I took
our baggage to the Hotel Constitution and booked some rooms. Mrs Logan, Joe's
friend the committee-woman, showed up before he got back. Jedson had told us a great deal
about Sally Logan during the train trip. He seemed to feel that she combined
the shrewdness of Machiavelli with the greathearted integrity of Oliver Wendell
Holmes. I was surprised at his enthusiasm, for I have often heard him grouse
about women in politics. But you don't understand, Archie,'
he elaborated. Sally isn't a woman politician, she is simply a politician, and
asks no special consideration because of her sex. She can stand up and trade
punches with the toughest manipulators on the Hill. What I said about women
politicians is perfectly true, as a statistical generalization, but it proves
nothing about any particular woman. It's like this: Most women in
the United States have a short-sighted, peasant individualism resulting from
the male- created romantic tradition of the last century. They were told that
they were superior creatures, a little nearer to the angels than their
menfolks. They were not encouraged to think, nor to assume social
responsibility. It takes a strong mind to break out of that sort of
conditioning, and most minds simply aren't up to it, male or female. Consequently, women as electors
are usually suckers for romantic nonsense. They can be flattered into misusing
their ballot even more easily than men. In politics their self-righteous
feeling of virtue, combined with their essentially peasant training, resulted
in their introducing a type of cut-rate, petty chiseling that should make Boss
Tweed spin in his coffin. But Sally's not like that. She's
got a tough mind which could reject the hokum.' You're not in love with her, are
you?' Who, me? Sally's happily married
and has two of the best kids I know.' What does her husband do?' Lawyer. One of the governor's
supporters. Sally got started in politics through pinch-hitting for her husband
one campaign.' What is her official position up
here?' None. Right hand for the
governor. That's her strength. Sally has never held a patronage job, nor been
paid for her services.' After this build-up I was
anxious to meet the paragon. When she called I spoke to her over the house
phone and was about to say that I would come down to the lobby when she
announced that she was coming up, and hung up. I was a little startled at the
informality, not yet realizing that politicians did not regard hotel rooms as
bedrooms, but as business offices. When I let her in she said,
You're Archie Fraser, aren't you? I'm Sally Logan. Where's Joe?' He'll be back soon. Won't you
sit down and wait?' Thanks.' She plopped herself
into a chair, took off her hat and shook out her hair. I looked her over. I had unconsciously expected
something pretty formidable in the way of a mannish matron. What I saw was a
young, plump, cheerful-looking blonde, with an untidy mass of yellow hair and
frank blue eyes. She was entirely feminine, not over thirty at the outside, and
there was something about her that was tremendously reassuring. She made me think of county
fairs and well water and sugar cookies. I'm afraid this is going to be a
tough proposition,' she began at once. I didn't think there was much interest
in the matter, and I still don't think so, but just the same someone has a
solid bloc lined up for Assembly Bill 22 - that's the bill I wired Joe about.
What do you boys plan to do, make a straight fight to kill it or submit a
substitute bill?' Jedson drew up a fair-practices
act with the aid of some of our Half World friends and a couple of lawyers.
Would you like to see it?' Please. I stopped by the State
Printing Office and got a few copies of the bill you are against - AB 22. We'll
swap.' I was trying to translate the
foreign language lawyers use when they write statutes when Jedson came in. He
patted Sally's cheek without speaking, and she reached up and squeezed his hand
and went on with her reading. He commenced reading over my shoulder. I gave up
and let him have it. It made a set of building specifications look simple. Sally asked, What do you think
of it, Joe?' Worse than I expected,' he
replied. Take Paragraph 7-' I haven't read it yet.' So? Well, in the first place it
recognizes the association as a semipublic body like the Bar Association or the
Community Chest, and permits it to initiate actions before the commission. That
means that every magician had better by a damn sight belong to Ditworth's
association and be careful not to offend it., But how can that be legal?' I
asked. It sounds unconstitutional to me - a private association like that-' Plenty of precedent, son.
Corporations to promote world's fairs, for example. They're recognized, and
even voted tax money. As for unconstitutionality, you'd have to prove that the
law was not equal in application - which it isn't! - but awfully hard to
prove.' But, anyhow, a witch gets a
hearing before the commission?' Sure, but there is the rub. The
commission has very broad powers, almost unlimited powers over everything
connected with magic. The bill is filled with phrases like "reasonable and
proper , which means the sky's the limit, with nothing but the good sense and
decency of the commissioners to restrain them. That's my objection to
commissions in government - the law can never be equal in application under
them. They have delegated legislative powers, and the law is what they say it
is. You might as well face a drumhead court- martial. There are nine commissioners
provided for in this case, six of which must be licensed magicians,
first-class. I don't suppose it is necessary to point out that a few
ill-advised appointments to the original commission will turn it into a tight
little self-perpetuating oligarchy - through its power to license.' Sally and Joe were going over to
see a legislator whom they thought might sponsor our bill, so they dropped me
off at the capitol. I wanted to listen to some of the debate. It gave me a warm feeling to
climb up the big, wide steps of the statehouse. The old, ugly mass of masonry
seemed to represent something tough in the character of the American people,
the determination of free men to manage their own affairs. Our own current
problem seemed a little smaller, not quite so overpoweringly important - still
worth working on, but simply one example in a long history of the general
problem of self-government. I noticed something else as I
was approaching the great bronze doors; the contractor for the outer
construction of the building must have made his pile; the mix for the mortar
was not richer than one to six! I decided on the Assembly rather
than the Senate because Sally said they generally put on a livelier show. When
I entered the hall they were discussing a resolution to investigate the tarring
and feathering the previous month of three agricultural-worker organizers up
near the town of Six Points. Sally had remarked that it was on the calendar for
the day, but that it would not take long because the proponents of the
resolution did not really want it. However, the Central Labour Council had
passed a resolution demanding it, and the labour- supported members were stuck
with it. The reason why they could only
go through the motions of asking for an investigation was that the organizers
were not really human beings at all, but mandrakes, a fact that the state
council had not been aware of when they asked for an investigation. Since the
making of mandrakes is the blackest kind of black magic, and highly illegal,
they needed some way to drop it quietly. The use of mandrakes has always been
opposed by organized labour, because it displaces real men - men with families
to support. For the same reasons they oppose synthetic facsimiles and
homunculi. But it is well known that the unions are not above using mandrakes,
or mandragoras, as well as facsimiles, when it suits their purpose, such as for
pickets, pressure groups, and the like. I suppose they feel justified in
fighting fire with fire. Homunculi they can't use on account of their size,
since they are too small to be passed off as men. If Sally had not primed me, I
would not have understood what took place. Each of the labour members got up
and demanded in forthright terms a resolution to investigate. When they were
all through, someone proposed that the matter be tabled until the grand jury of
the county concerned held its next meeting. This motion was voted on without
debate and without a roll call; although practically no members were present
except those who had spoken in favour of the original resolution, the motion
passed easily. There was the usual crop of
oil-industry bills on the agenda, such as you read about in the newspapers
every time the legislature is in session. One of them was the next item on the
day's calendar - a bill which proposed that the governor negotiate a treaty
with the gnomes, under which the gnomes would aid the petroleum engineers in
prospecting and, in addition, would advise humans in drilling methods so as to
maintain the natural gas pressure underground needed to raise the oil to the
surface. I think that is the idea, but I am no petroleum engineer. The proponent spoke first. Mr
Speaker,' he said, I ask for a "Yes vote on this bill, A B 79. Its purpose
is quite simple and the advantages obvious. A very large part of the overhead
cost of recovering crude oil from the ground lies in the uncertainties of
prospecting and drilling. With the aid of the Little People this item can be
reduced to an estimated 7 per cent of its present dollar cost, and the price of
gasoline and other petroleum products to the people can be greatly lessened. The matter of underground gas
pressure is a little more technical, but suffice it to say that it takes, in
round numbers, a thousand cubic feet of natural gas to raise one barrel of oil
to the surface. If we can get intelligent supervision of drilling operations
far underground, where no human being can go, we can make the most economical
use of this precious gas pressure. The only rational objection to
this bill lies in whether or not we can deal with the gnomes on favourable
terms. I believe that we can, for the Administration has some excellent
connexions in the Hall World. The gnomes are willing to negotiate in order to
put a stop to the present condition of chaos in which human engineers drill
blindly, sometimes wrecking their homes and not infrequently violating their
sacred places. They not unreasonably claim everything under the surface as
their kingdom, but are willing to make any reasonable concession to abate what
is to them an intolerable nuisance. If this treaty works out well,
as it will, we can expect to arrange other treaties which will enable us to
exploit all of the metal and mineral resources of this state under conditions
highly advantageous to us and not hurtful to the gnomes. Imagine, if you
please, having a gnome with his X-ray eyes peer into a mountainside and locate
a rich vein of gold for you!' It seemed very reasonable,
except that, having once seen the king of the gnomes, I would not trust him
very far, unless Mrs Jennings did the negotiating. As soon as the proponent sat
down, another member jumped up and just as vigorously denounced it. He was
older than most of the members, and I judged him to be a country lawyer. His
accent placed him in the northern part of the state, well away from the oil
country. Mr Speaker,' he bellowed, I ask for a vote of "No! . Who would
dream that an American legislature would stoop to such degrading nonsense? Have
any of you ever seen a gnome? Have you any reason to believe that gnomes exist?
This is just a cheap piece of political chicanery to do the public out of its
proper share of the natural resources of our great state-' He was interrupted by a
question. Does the honourable member from Lincoln County mean to imply that he
has no belief in magic? Perhaps he does not believe in the radio or the
telephone either.' Not at all. If the Chair will
permit, I will state my position so clearly that even my respected colleague on
the other side of the house will understand it. There are certain remarkable
developments in human knowledge in general use which are commonly referred to
by the laity as magic. These principles are well understood and are taught, I
am happy to say, in our great publicly owned institutions for higher learning.
I have every respect for the legitimate practitioners thereof. But, as I
understand it, although I am not myself a practitioner of the great science,
there is nothing in it that requires a belief in the Little People. But let us stipulate, for the
sake of argument, that the Little People do exist. Is that any reason to pay
them blackmail? Should the citizens of this commonwealth pay cumshaw to the
denizens of the underworld-' He waited for his pun to be appreciated. It
wasn't. -for that which is legally and rightfully ours? If this ridiculous
principle is pushed to its logical conclusion, the farmers and dairymen I am
proud to number among my constituents will be required to pay toll to the elves
before they can milk their cows!' Someone slid into the seat
beside me. I glanced around, saw that it was Jedson, and questioned him with my
eyes. Nothing doing now,' he whispered. We've got some time to kill and might
as well do it here' - and he turned to the debate. Somebody had gotten up to reply
to the old duck with the Daniel Webster complex. Mr Speaker, if the honoured
member is quite through with his speech - I did not quite catch what office he
is running for! - I would like to invite the attention of this body to the
precedented standing in jurisprudence of elements of every nature, not only in
Mosaic law, Roman law, the English common law, but also in the appellate court
of our neighbouring state to the south. I am confident that anyone possessing
even an elementary knowledge of the law will recognize the case I have in mind
without citation, but for the benefit of-' Mr Speaker! I move to amend by
striking out the last word.' A stratagem to gain the floor,'
Joe whispered. Is it the purpose of the
honourable member who preceded me to imply-' It went on and on. I turned to
Jedson and asked, I can't figure out this chap who is speaking; a while ago he
was hollering about cows. What's he afraid of, religious prejudices?' Partly that; he's from a very
conservative district. But he's lined up with the independent oilmen. They
don't want the state setting the terms; they think they can do better dealing
with the gnomes directly.' But what interest has he got in
oil? There's no oil in his district.' No, but there is outdoor
advertising. The same holding company that controls the so-called independent
oilmen holds a voting trust in the Countryside Advertising Corporation. And
that can be awfully important to him around election time. The Speaker looked our way, and
an assistant sergeant at arms threaded his way towards us. We shut up. Someone
moved the order of the day, and the oil bill was put aside for one of the magic
bills that had already come out of committee. This was a bill to outlaw every
sort of magic, witchcraft, thaumaturgy. No one spoke for it but the
proponent, who launched into a diatribe that was more scholarly than logical.
He quoted extensively from Blackstone's Commentaries and the records of
the Massachusetts trials, and finished up with his head thrown back, one finger
waving wildly to heaven and shouting,' "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to
live! ' No one bothered to speak against
it; it was voted on immediately without roll call, and, to my complete
bewilderment, passed without a single nay! I turned to Jedson and found him
smiling at the expression on my face. It doesn't mean a thing,
Archie,' he said quietly. Huh?' He's a party wheel horse who had
to introduce that bill to please a certain bloc of his constituents.' You mean he doesn't believe in
the bill himself?' Oh no, he believes in it all
right, but he also knows it is hopeless. It has evidently been agreed to let
him pass it over here in the Assembly this session so that he would have
something to take home to his people. Now it will go to the senate committee
and die there; nobody will ever hear of it again.' I guess my voice carries too
well, for my reply got us a really dirty look from the Speaker. We got up
hastily and left. Once outside I asked Joe what
had happened that he was back so soon. He would not touch it,' he told me. Said
that he couldn't afford to antagonize the association.' Does that finish us?' Not at all. Sally and I are
going to see another member right after lunch. He's tied up in a committee
meeting at the moment.' We stopped in a restaurant where
Jedson had arranged to meet Sally Logan. Jedson ordered lunch, and I had a
couple of cans of devitalized beer, insisting on their bringing it to the booth
in the unopened containers. I don't like to get even a little bit tipsy,
although I like to drink. On another occasion I had paid for wizard-processed
liquor and had received intoxicating liquor instead. Hence the unopened
containers. I sat there, staring into my
glass and thinking about what I had heard that morning, especially about the
bill to outlaw all magic. The more I thought about it the better the notion
seemed. The country had gotten along all right in the old days before magic had
become popular and commercially widespread. It was unquestionably a headache in
many ways, even leaving out our present troubles with racketeers and
monopolists. Finally I expressed my opinion to Jedson. But he disagreed. According to
him prohibition never does work in any field. He said that anything which can
be supplied and which people want will he supplied - law or no law. To prohibit
magic would simply be to turn over the field to the crooks and the black
magicians. I see the drawbacks of magic as
well as you do,' he went on, but it is like firearms. Certainly guns made it
possible for almost anyone to commit murder and get away with it. But once they
were invented the damage was done. All you can do is to try to cope with it.
Things like the Sullivan Act - they didn't keep the crooks from carrying guns
and using them; they simply took guns out of the hands of honest people. It's the same with magic. If you
prohibit it, you take from decent people the enormous boons to be derived from
a knowledge of the great arcane laws, while the nasty, harmful secrets hidden
away in black grimoires and red grimoires will still be
bootlegged to anyone who will pay the price and has no respect for law. Personally, I don't believe
there was any less black magic practiced between, say, 1750 and 1950 than there
is now, or was before then. Take a look at Pennsylvania and the hex country.
Take a look at the Deep South. But since that time we have begun to have the
advantages of white magic too.' Sally came in, spotted us, and
slid into one side of the booth. My,' she said with a sigh of relaxation, I've
just fought my way across the lobby of the Constitution. The "third
house" is certainly out in full force this trip. I've never seen em so
thick, especially the women.' She means lobbyists, Archie,'
Jedson explained. Yes, I noticed them. I'd like to make a small bet that two
thirds of them are synthetic.' I thought I didn't
recognize many of them,' Sally commented. Are you sure, Joe?' Not entirely. But Bodie agrees
with me. He says that the women are almost all mandrakes, or androids of some
sort. Real women are never quite so perfectly beautiful - nor so tractable.
I've got him checking on them now.' In what way?' He says he can spot the work of
most of the magicians capable of that high-powered stuff. If possible we want
to prove that all these androids were made by Magic, Incorporated - though I'm
not sure just what use we can make of the fact. Bodie has even located some
zombies,' he added. Not really!' exclaimed Sally.
She wrinkled her nose and looked disgusted. Some people have odd tastes.' They started discussing aspects
of politics that I know nothing about, while Sally put away a very sizeable
lunch topped off by a fudge ice-cream cake slice. But I noticed that she
ordered from the left-hand side of the menu - all vanishing items, like the
alcohol in my beer. I found out more about the
situation as they talked. When a bill is submitted to the legislature, it is
first referred to a committee for hearings. Ditworth's bill, A B 22, had been
referred to the Committee on Professional Standards. Over in the Senate an
identical bill had turned up and had been referred by the lieutenant governor,
who presides in the Senate, to the Committee on Industrial Practices. Our immediate object was to find
a sponsor for our bill; if possible, one for each house, and preferably
sponsors who were members, in their respective houses, of the committees
concerned. All of this needed to be done before Ditworth's bills came up for
hearing. I went with them to see their
second-choice sponsor for the Assembly. He was not on the Professional
Standards Committee, but he was on the Ways and Means Committee, which meant
that he carried a lot of weight in any committee. He was a pleasant chap named
Spence - Luther B. Spence - and I could see that he was quite anxious to please
Sally - for past favours, I suppose. But they had no more luck with him than
with their first-choice man. He said that he did not have time to fight for our
bill, as the chairman of the Ways and Means Committee was sick and he was
chairman pro tem. Sally put it to him flatly. Look
here, Luther, when you have needed a hand in the past, you've got it from me. I
hate to remind a man of obligations, but you will recall that matter of the
vacancy last year on the Fish and Game Commission. Now I want action on this
matter, and not excuses!' Spence was plainly embarrassed.
Now, Sally, please don't feel like that. You're getting your feathers up over
nothing. You know I'll always do anything I can for you, but you don't really
need this, and it would necessitate my neglecting things that I can't afford to
neglect.' What do you mean, I don't need
it?' I mean you should not worry
about A B 22. It's a cinch bill.' Jedson explained that term to me
later. A cinch bill, he said, was a bill introduced for tactical reasons. The
sponsors never intended to try to get it enacted into law, but simply used it
as a bargaining point. It's like an asking price' in a business deal. Are you sure of that?' Why, yes, I think so. The word
has been passed around that there is another bill coming up that won't have the
bugs in it that this bill has.' After we left Spence's office,
Jedson said, Sally, I hope Spence is right, but I don't trust Ditworth's
intentions. He's out to get a stranglehold on the industry. I know it!' Luther usually has the correct
information, Joe.' Yes, that is no doubt true, but
this is a little out of his line. Anyhow, thanks, kid. You did your best.' Call on me if there is anything
else, Joe. And come Out to dinner before you go; you haven't seen Bill or the
kids yet.' I won't forget.' Jedson finally gave up as
impractical trying to submit our bill, and concentrated on the committees
handling Ditworth's bills. I did not see much of him. He would go out at four
in the afternoon to a cocktail party and get back to the hotel at three in the
morning, bleary-eyed, with progress to report. He woke me up the fourth night
and announced jubilantly, It's in the bag, Archie!' You killed those bills?' Not quite. I couldn't manage
that. But they will be reported out of committee so amended that we won't care
if they do pass. Furthermore, the amendments are different in each committee. Well, what of that?' That means that even if they do
pass their respective houses they will have to go to conference committee to
have their differences ironed out, then back for final passage in each house.
The chances of that this late in a short session are negligible. Those bills
are dead.' Jedson's predictions were
justified. The bills came out of committee with a do pass' recommendation late
Saturday evening. That was the actual time; the statehouse clock had been
stopped forty-eight hours before to permit first and second readings of an
administration must' bill. Therefore it was officially Thursday. I know that
sounds cockeyed, and it is, but I am told that every legislature in the country
does it towards the end of a crowded session. The important point is that,
Thursday or Saturday, the session would adjourn sometime that night. I watched
Ditworth's bill come up in the Assembly. It was passed, without debate, in the
amended form. I sighed with relief. About midnight Jedson joined me and
reported that the same thing had happened in the Senate. Sally was on watch in
the conference committee room, just to make sure that the bills stayed dead. Joe and I remained on watch in
our respective houses. There was probably no need for it, but it made us feel
easier. Shortly before two in the morning Bodie came in and said we were to
meet Jedson and Sally outside the conference committee room. What's that?' I said,
immediately all nerves. Has something slipped?' No, it's all right and it's all
over. Come on.' Joe answered my question, as I
hurried up with Bodie trailing, before I could ask it. It's OK, Archie. Sally
was present when the committee adjourned sine die, without acting on
those bills. It's all over; we've won!' We went over to the bar across
the street to have a drink in celebration. In spite of the late hour the
bar was moderately crowded. Lobbyists, local politicians, legislative attaches,
all the swarm of camp followers who throng the capitol whenever the legislature
is sitting - all such were still up and around, and many of them had picked
this bar as a convenient place to wait for news of adjournment. We were lucky to find a stool at
the bar for Sally. We three men made a tight little cluster around her and
tried to get the attention of the overworked bartender. We had just managed to
place our orders when a young man tapped on the shoulder of the customer on the
stool to the right of Sally. He immediately got down and left. I nudged Bodie
to tell him to take the seat. Sally turned to Joe. Well, it
won't be long now. There go the sergeants at arms.' She nodded towards the
young man, who was repeating the process farther down the line. What does that mean?' I asked
Joe. It means they are getting along
towards the final vote on the bill they were waiting on. They've gone to
"call of the house now, and the Speaker has ordered the sergeant at arms
to send his deputies out to arrest absent members.' Arrest them?' I was a little bit
shocked. Only technically. You see, the
Assembly has had to stall until the Senate was through with this bill, and most
of the members have wandered out for a bite to eat, or a drink. Now they are
ready to vote, so they round them up.' A fat man took a stool near us
which had just been vacated by a member. Sally said, Hello, Don.' He took a cigar from his mouth
and said, How are yuh, Sally? What's new? Say, I thought you were interested in
that bill on magic?' We were all four alert at once.
I am,' Sally admitted. What about it?' Well, then, you had better get
over there. They're voting on it right away. Didn't you notice the "call
of the house ?' I think we set a new record
getting across the street, with Sally leading the field in spite of her
plumpness. I was asking Jedson how it could be possible, and he shut me up
with, I don't know, man! We'll have to see.' We managed to find seats on the
main floor back of the rail. Sally beckoned to one of the pages she knew and
sent him up to the clerk's desk for a copy of the bill that was pending. In
front of the rail the Assembly men gathered in groups. There was a crowd around
the desk of the administration floor leader and a smaller cluster around the
floor leader of the opposition. The whips had individual members buttonholed
here and there, arguing with them in tense whispers. The page came back with the copy
of the bill. It was an appropriation bill for the Middle Counties Improvement
Project - the last of the must' bills for which the session had been called -
but pasted to it, as a rider, was Ditworth's bill in its original, most
damnable form! It had been added as an
amendment in the Senate, probably as a concession to Ditworth's stooges in
order to obtain their votes to make up the two-thirds majority necessary to
pass the appropriation bill to which it had been grafted. The vote came almost at once. It
was evident, early in the roll call, that the floor leader had his majority in
hand and that the bill would pass. When the clerk announced its passage, a
motion to adjourn sine die was offered by the opposition floor leader
and it was carried unanimously. The Speaker called the two floor leaders to his
desk and instructed them to wait on the governor and the presiding officer of
the Senate with notice of adjournment. The crack of his gavel released
us from stunned immobility. We shambled out. We got in to see the governor
late the next morning. The appointment, squeezed into an overcrowded calendar,
was simply a concession to Sally and another evidence of the high regard in
which she was held around the capitol. For it was evident that he did not want
to see us and did not have time to see us. But he greeted Sally affectionately
and listened, patiently while Jedson explained in a few words why we thought
the combined Ditworth-Middle Counties bill should be vetoed. The circumstances were not
favourable to reasoned expostulation. The governor was interrupted by two calls
that he had to take, one from his director of finance and one from Washington.
His personal secretary came in once and shoved a memorandum under his eyes, at
which the old man looked worried, then scrawled something on it and handed it
back. I could tell that his attention was elsewhere for some minutes after
that. When Jedson stopped talking, the
governor sat for a moment, looking down at his blotter pad, an expression of
deep- rooted weariness on his face. Then he answered in slow words, No, Mr
Jedson, I can't see it. I regret as much as you do that this business of the
regulation of magic has been tied in with an entirely different matter. But I cannot
veto part of a bill and sign the rest - even though the bill includes two
widely separated subjects. I appreciate the work you did to
help elect my administration' - I could see Sally's hand in that remark - and
wish that we could agree on this. But the Middle Counties Project is something
that I have worked towards since my inauguration. I hope and believe that it
will be the means whereby the most depressed area in our state can work out its
economic problems without further grants of public money. If I thought that the
amendment concerning magic would actually do a grave harm to the state-' He paused for a moment. But I
don't. When Mrs Logan called me this morning I had my legislative counsel analyze
the bill. I agree that the bill is unnecessary, but it seems to do nothing more
than add a little more bureaucratic red tape. That's not good, but we manage to
do business under a lot of it; a little more can't wreck things.' I butted in - rudely, I suppose
- but I was all worked up. But, Your Excellency, if you would just take time to
examine this matter yourself, in detail, you would see how much damage it will
do!' I would not have been surprised
if he had flared back at me. Instead, he indicated a file basket that was
stacked high and spilling over. Mr Fraser, there you see fifty-seven bills
passed by this session of the legislature. Every one of them has some defect.
Every one of them is of vital importance to some, or all of the people of this
state. Some of them are as long to read as an ordinary novel. In the next nine
days I must decide what ones shall become law and' what ones must wait for
revision at the next regular session. During that nine days at least a thousand
people will want me to see them about some one of those bills-' His aide stuck his head in the
door. Twelve-twenty, chief! You're on the air in forty minutes.' The governor nodded absently and
stood up. You will excuse me? I'm expected at a luncheon.' He turned to his
aide, who was getting out his hat and gloves from a closet. You have the
speech, Jim?' Of course, sir. Just a minute!' Sally had cut
in. Have you taken your tonic?' Not yet.' You're not going off to one of
those luncheons without it!' She ducked into his private washroom and came out
with a medicine bottle. Joe and I bowed out as quickly as possible. Outside I started fuming to
Jedson about the way we had been given the run-around, as I saw it. I made some
remark about dunderheaded, compromising politicians when Joe cut me short. Shut up, Archie! Try running a
state sometime instead of a small business and see how easy you find it!' I shut up. Bodie was waiting for us in the
lobby of the capitol. I could see that he was excited about something, for he
flipped away a cigarette and rushed towards us. Look!' he commanded. Down
there!' We followed the direction of his
finger and saw two figures just going out of the big doors. One was Ditworth,
the other was a well-known lobbyist with whom he had worked. What about it?'
Joe demanded. I was standing here behind this
phone booth, leaning against the wall and catching a cigarette. As you can see,
from here that big mirror reflects the bottom of the rotunda stairs. I kept an
eye on it for you fellows. I noticed this lobbyist, Sims, coming downstairs by
himself, but he was gesturing as if he were talking to somebody. That made me
curious, so I looked around the corner of the booth and saw him directly. He
was not alone; he was with Ditworth. I looked back at the mirror and he
appeared to be alone. Ditworth cast no reflection in the mirror!' Jedson snapped his fingers. A
demon!' he said in an amazed voice. And I never suspected it!' I am surprised that more
suicides don't occur on trains. When a man is down, I know of nothing more
depressing than staring at the monotonous scenery and listening to the
maddening lickety-tock of the rails. In a way I was glad to have this
new development of Ditworth's inhuman status to think about; it kept my mind
off poor old Feldstein and his thousand dollars. Startling as it was to discover
that Ditworth was a demon, it made no real change in the situation except to
explain the efficiency and speed with which we had been outmaneuvered and to
confirm as a certainty our belief that the racketeers and Magic, Incorporated,
were two heads of the same beast. But we had no way of proving that Ditworth
was a Half World monster. If we tried to haul him into court for a test, he was
quite capable of lying low and sending out a facsimile, or a mandrake, built to
look like him and immune to the mirror test. We dreaded going back and
reporting our failure to the committee - at least I did. But at least we were
spared that. The Middle Counties Act carried an emergency clause which put it
into effect the day it was signed. Ditworth's bill, as an amendment, went into
action with the same speed. The newspapers on sale at the station when we got
off the train carried the names of the new commissioners for thaumaturgy. Nor did the commission waste any
time in making its power felt. They announced their intention of raising the
standards of magical practice in all fields, and stated that new and more
thorough examinations would be prepared at once. The association formerly
headed by Ditworth opened a coaching school in which practising magicians could
take a refresher course in thaumaturgic principles and arcane law. In
accordance with the high principles set forth in their charter, the school was
not restricted to members of the association. That sounds bighearted of the
association. It wasn't. They managed to convey a strong impression in their
classes that membership in the association would be a big help in passing the
new examinations. Nothing you could put your finger on to take into court -
just a continuous impression. The association grew. A couple of weeks later all licenses
were cancelled and magicians were put on a day-to-day basis in their practice,
subject to call for re-examination at a day's notice. A few of the outstanding
holdouts against signing up with Magic, Incorporated, were called up, examined,
and licenses refused them. The squeeze was on. Mrs Jennings quietly withdrew
from any practice. Bodie came around to see me; I had an uncompleted contract
with him involving some apartment houses. Here's your contract, Archie,'
he said bitterly. I'll need some time to pay the penalties for noncompletion;
my bond was revoked when they cancelled the licenses.' I took the contract and tore it
in two. Forget that talk about penalties,' I told him. You take your
examinations and we'll write a new contract.~ He laughed unhappily. Don't be a
Pollyanna.' I changed my tack. What are you
going to do? Sign up with Magic, Incorporated?' He straightened himself up. I've
never temporized with demons; I won't start now.' Good boy,' I said. Well, if the
eating gets uncertain, I reckon we can find a job of some sort here for you.' It was a good thing that Bodie
had some money saved, for I was a little too optimistic in my offer. Magic,
Incorporated, moved quickly into the second phase of their squeeze, and it
began to be a matter of speculation as to whether I myself would eat regularly.
There were still quite a number of licensed magicians in town who were not
employed by Magic, Incorporated - it would have been an evident, actionable frame-up
to freeze out everyone - but those available were all incompetent bunglers, not
fit to mix a philter. There was no competent, legal magical assistance to be
got at any price - except through Magic, Incorporated. I was forced to fall back on
old-fashioned methods in every respect. Since I don't use much magic in any
case, it was possible for me to do that, but it was the difference between
making money and losing money. I had put Feldstein on as a
salesman after his agency folded up under him. He turned out to be a crackajack
and helped to reduce the losses. He could smell a profit even farther than I
could - farther than Dr Worthington could smell a witch. But most of the other
businessmen around me were simply forced to capitulate. Most of them used magic
in at least one phase of their business; they had their choice of signing a
contract with Magic, Incorporated, or closing their doors. They had wives and
kids - they signed. The fees for thaumaturgy were
jacked up until they were all the traffic would bear, to the point where it was
just cheaper to do business with magic than without it. The magicians got none
of the new profits; it all stayed with the corporation. As a matter of fact,
the magicians got less of the proceeds than when they had operated
independently, but they took what they could get and were glad of the chance to
feed their families. Jedson was hard hit -
disastrously hit. He held out, naturally, preferring honourable bankruptcy to
dealing with demons, but he used magic throughout his business. He was through.
They started by disqualifying August Welker, his foreman, then cut off the rest
of his resources. It was intimated that Magic, Incorporated, did not care to
deal with him, even had he wished it. We were all over at Mrs
Jennings's late one afternoon for tea - myself, Jedson, Bodie, and Dr Royce
Worthington, the witch smeller. We tried to keep the conversation away from our
troubles, but we just could not do it. Anything that was said led back somehow
to Ditworth and his damnable monopoly. After Jack Bodie had spent ten
minutes explaining carefully and mendaciously that he really did not mind being
out of witchcraft, that he did not have any real talent for it, and had only
taken it up to please his old man, I tried to change the subject. Mrs Jennings
had been listening to Jack with such pity and compassion in her eyes that I
wanted to bawl myself. I turned to Jedson and said
inanely, How is Miss Megeath?' She was the white witch from
Jersey City, the one who did creative magic in textiles. I had no special
interest in her welfare. He looked up with a start.
Ellen? She's ... she's all right. They took her licence away a month ago,' he
finished lamely. That was not the direction I
wanted the talk to go. I turned it again. Did she ever manage to do that
whole-garment stunt?' He brightened a little. Why,
yes, she did - once. Didn't I tell you about it?' Mrs Jennings showed polite
curiosity, for which I silently thanked her. Jedson explained to the others
what they had been trying to accomplish. She really succeeded too well,' he
continued. Once she had started, she kept right on, and we could not bring her
out of her trance. She turned out over thirty thousand little striped sports
dresses, all the same size and pattern. My lofts were loaded with them. Nine
tenths of them will melt away before I dispose of them. But she won't try it again,' he
added. Too hard on her health.' How?' I inquired. Well, she lost ten pounds doing
that one stunt. She's not hardy enough for magic. What she really needs is to
go out to Arizona and lie around in the sun for a year. I wish to the Lord I
had the money. I'd send her.' I cocked an eyebrow at him.
Getting interested, Joe?' Jedson is an inveterate bachelor, but it pleases me
to pretend otherwise. He generally plays up, but this time he was downright
surly. It showed the abnormal state of nerves he was in. Oh, for cripes' sake, Archie!
Excuse me, Mrs Jennings! But can't I take a normal humane interest in a person
without you seeing an ulterior motive in it?' Sorry.' That's all right.' He grinned. I
shouldn't be so touchy. Anyhow, Ellen and I have cooked up an invention between
us that might be a solution for all of us. I'd been intending to show it to all
of you just as soon as we had a working model. Look, folks!' He drew what
appeared to be a fountain pen Out of a vest pocket and handed it to me. What is it? A pen?' No.' A fever thermometer?' No. Open it up.' I unscrewed the cap and found
that it contained a miniature parasol. It opened and closed like a real
umbrella, and was about three inches across when opened. It reminded me of one
of those clever little Japanese favours one sometimes gets at parties, except
that it seemed to be made of oiled silk and metal instead of tissue paper and
bamboo. Pretty,' I said, and very
clever. What's it good for?' Dip it in water.' I looked around for some. Mrs
Jennings poured some into an empty cup, and I dipped it in. It seemed to crawl in my hands. In less than thirty seconds I
was holding a full-sized umbrella in my hands and looking as silly as I felt.
Bodie smacked a palm with a fist. It's a lulu, Joe! I wonder why
somebody didn't think of it before.' Jedson accepted congratulations
with a fatuous grin, then added, That's not all - look.' He pulled a small
envelope out of a pocket and produced a tiny transparent raincoat, suitable for
a six-inch doll. This is the same gag. And this.' He hauled out a pair of
rubber overshoes less than an inch long. A man could wear these as a watch fob,
or a woman could carry them on a charm bracelet. Then, with either the umbrella
or the raincoat, one need never be caught in the rain. The minute the rain hits
them, presto! - full size. When they dry out they shrink up.' We passed them around from hand
to hand and admired them. Joe went on. Here's what I have in mind. This
business needs a magician - that's you, Jack - and a merchandiser - that's you,
Archie. It has two major stockholders: that's Ellen and me. She can go take the
rest cure she needs, and I'll retire and resume my studies, same as I always
wanted to.' My mind immediately started
turning over the commercial possibilities, then I suddenly saw the hitch. Wait
a minute, Joe. We can't set up business in this state.' No.' It will take some capital to
move out of the state. How are you fixed? Frankly, I don't believe I could
raise a thousand dollars if I liquidated.' He made a wry face. Compared
with me you are rich.' I got up and began wandering
nervously around the room. We would just have to raise the money somehow. It
was too good a thing to be missed, and would rehabilitate all of us. It was
clearly patentable, and I could see commercial possibilities that would never
occur to Joe. Tents for camping, canoes, swimming suits, traveling gear of
every sort. We had a gold mine. Mrs Jennings interrupted in her
sweet and gentle voice. I am not sure it will be too easy to find a state in
which to operate.' Excuse me, what did you say?' Dr Royce and I have been making
some inquiries. I am afraid you will find the rest of the country about as well
sewed up as this state.' What! Forty-eight states?' Demons don't have the same
limitations in time that we have.' That brought me up short.
Ditworth again. Gloom settled down on us like
fog. We discussed it from every angle and came right back to where we had
started. It was no help to have a clever, new business; Ditworth had us shut
out of every business. There was an awkward silence. I finally broke it with an
outburst that surprised myself. Look here!' I exclaimed. This situation is
intolerable. Let's quit kidding ourselves and admit it. As long as Ditworth is
in control we're whipped. Why don't we do something?' Jedson gave me a pained smile.
God knows I'd like to, Archie, if I could think of anything useful to do.' But we know who our enemy is -
Ditworth! Let's tackle him - legal or not, fair means or dirty!' But that is just the point. Do
we know our enemy? To be sure, we know he is a demon, but what demon, and
where? Nobody has seen him in weeks.' Huh? But I thought just the
other day-' Just a dummy, a hollow shell.
The real Ditworth is somewhere out of sight.' But, look, if he is a demon,
can't he be invoked, and compelled-' Mrs Jennings answered this time.
Perhaps - though it's uncertain and dangerous. But we lack one essential - his
name. To invoke a demon you must know his real name, otherwise he will not obey
you, no matter how powerful the incantation. I have been searching the Half
World for weeks, but I have not learned that necessary name.' Dr Worthington cleared his
throat with a rumble as deep as a cement mixer, and volunteered, My abilities
are at your disposal, if I can help to abate this nuisance-' Mrs Jennings thanked him. I
don't see how we can use you as yet, Doctor. I knew we could depend on you.' Jedson said suddenly, White
prevails over black.' She answered, Certainly.' Everywhere?' Everywhere, since darkness is
the absence of light.' He went on, It is not good for
the white to wait on the black.' It is not good.' With my brother Royce to help,
we might carry light into darkness.' She considered this. It is
possible, yes. But very dangerous.' You have been there?' On occasion. But you are not I,
nor are these others.' Everyone seemed to be following
the thread of the conversation but me. I interrupted with, Just a minute,
please. Would it be too much to explain what you are talking about?' There was no rudeness intended,
Archibald,' said Mrs Jennings in a voice that made it all right. Joseph has
suggested that, since we are stalemated here, we make a sortie into the Half
World, smell out this demon, and attack him on his home ground.' It took me a moment to grasp the
simple audacity of the scheme. Then I said, Fine! Let's get on with it. When do
we start?' They lapsed back into a
professional discussion that I was unable to follow. Mrs Jennings dragged out
several musty volumes and looked up references on points that were sheer
Sanskrit to me. Jedson borrowed her almanac, and he and the doctor stepped out
into the back yard to observe the moon. Finally it settled down into an
argument - or rather discussion; there could be no argument, as they all
deferred to Mrs Jennings's judgment concerning liaison. There seemed to be no
satisfactory way to maintain contact with the real world, and Mrs Jennings was
unwilling to start until it was worked out. The difficulty was this: not being
black magicians, not having signed a compact with Old Nick, they were not
citizens of the Dark Kingdom and could not travel through it with certain
impunity. Bodie turned to Jedson. How
about Ellen Megeath?' he inquired doubtfully. Ellen? Why, yes, of course. She
would do it. I'll telephone her. Mrs Jennings, do any of your neighbours have a
phone?' Never mind,' Bodie told him,
just think about her for a few minutes so that I can get a line-' He stared at
Jedson's face for a moment, then disappeared suddenly. Perhaps three minutes later Ellen
Megeath dropped lightly out of nothing. Mr Bodie will be along in a few
minutes,' she said. He stopped to buy a packet of cigarettes.' Jedson took her
over and presented her to Mrs Jennings. She did look sickly, and I could
understand Jedson's concern. Every few minutes she would swallow and choke a
little, as if bothered by an enlarged thyroid. As soon as Jack was back they
got right down to details. He had explained to Ellen what they planned to do,
and she was entirely willing. She insisted that one more session of magic would
do her no harm. There was no advantage in waiting; they prepared to depart at
once. Mrs Jennings related the marching orders. Ellen, you will need to follow
me in trance, keeping in close rapport. I think you will find that couch near
the fireplace a good place to rest your body. Jack, you will remain here and
guard the portal.' The chimney of Mrs Jennings's living room fireplace was to
be used as most convenient. You will keep in touch with us through Ellen.' But, Granny, I'll be needed in
the Half-' No, Jack.' She was gently firm.
You are needed here much more. Someone has to guard the way and help us back,
you know. Each to his task.' He muttered a bit, but gave in.
She went on, I think that is all. Ellen and Jack here; Joseph, Royce, and
myself to make the trip. You will have nothing to do but wait, Archibald, but
we won't be longer than ten minutes, world time, if we are to come back.' She
bustled away towards the kitchen, saying something about the unguent and
calling back to Jack to have the candles ready. I hurried after her. 'What do you mean, I demanded,
about me having nothing to do but wait? I'm going along!' She turned and looked at me
before replying, troubled concern in her magnificent eyes. I don't see how that
can be, Archibald.' Jedson had followed us and now
took me by the arm. See here, Archie, do be sensible. It's utterly out of the
question. You're not a magician.' I pulled away from him. Neither
are you.' Not in a technical sense,
perhaps, but I know enough to be useful. Don't be a stubborn fool, man; if you
come, you'll simply handicap us.' That kind of an argument is hard
to answer and manifestly unfair. How?' I persisted. Hell's bells, Archie, you're
young and strong and willing, and there is no one I would rather have at my
back in a roughhouse, but this is not a job for courage, or even intelligence
alone. It calls for special knowledge and experience.' Well,' I answered, Mrs Jennings
has enough of that for a regiment. But - if you'll pardon me, Mrs Jennings! -
she is old and feeble. I'll be her muscles if her strength fails.' Joe looked faintly amused, and I
could have kicked him. But that is not what is required in-' Dr Worthington's double-bass
rumble interrupted him from somewhere behind us. It occurs to me, brother, that
there may possibly be a use for our young friend's impetuous ignorance. There
are times when wisdom is too cautious.' Mrs Jennings put a stop to it.
Wait - all of you,' she commanded, and trotted over to a kitchen cupboard. This
she opened, moved aside a package of rolled oats, and took down a small leather
sack. It was filled with slender sticks. She cast them on the floor, and
the three of them huddled around the litter, studying the patterns. Cast them
again,' Joe insisted. She did so. I saw Mrs Jennings and the
doctor nod solemn agreement to each other. Jedson shrugged and turned away. Mrs
Jennings addressed me, concern in her eyes. You will go,' she said softly. It
is not safe, but you will go.' We wasted no more time. The
unguent was heated and we took turns rubbing it on each other's backbone.
Bodie, as gatekeeper, sat in the midst of his pentacles, mekagrans, and runes,
and intoned monotonously from the great book. Worthington elected to go in his
proper person, ebony in a breechcloth, parasymbols scribed on him from head to
toe, his grandfather's head cradled in an elbow. There was some discussion before
they could decide on a final form for Joe, and the metamorphosis was checked
and changed several times. He finished up with paper-thin grey flesh stretched
over an obscenely distorted skull, a sloping back, the thin flanks of an
animal, and a long, boy tail, which he twitched incessantly. But the whole
composition was near enough to human to create a revulsion much greater than
would be the case for a more outlandish shape. I gagged at the sight of him,
but he was pleased. There!' he exclaimed in a voice like scratched tin. You've
done a beautiful job, Mrs Jennings. Asmodeus would not know me from his own
nephew.' I trust not,' she said. Shall we
go?' How about Archie?' It suits me to leave him as he
is.' Then how about your own
transformation?' I'll take care of that,' she
answered, somewhat tartly. Take your places.' Mrs Jennings and I rode double
on the same broom, with me in front, facing the candle stuck in the straws.
I've noticed All Hallow's Eve decorations which show the broom with the handle
forward and the brush trailing. That is a mistake. Custom is important in these
matters. Royce and Joe were to follow close behind us. Seraphin leaped quickly
to his mistress' shoulder and settled himself, his whiskers quivering with
eagerness. Bodie pronounced the word, our
candle flared up high, and we were off. I was frightened nearly to
panic, but tried not to show it as I clung to the broom. The fireplace gaped at
us, and swelled to a monster arch. The fire within roared up like a burning
forest and swept us along with it. As we swirled up I caught a glimpse of a
salamander dancing among the flames, and felt sure that it was my own - the one
that had honoured me with its approval and sometimes graced my new fireplace.
It seemed a good omen. We had left the portal far
behind - if the word behind' can be used in a place where directions are
symbolic - the shrieking din of the fire was no longer with us, and I was
beginning to regain some part of my nerve. I felt a reassuring hand at my
waist, and turned my head to speak to Mrs Jennings. I nearly fell off the broom. When we left the house there had
mounted behind me an old, old woman, a shrunken, wizened body kept alive by an
indomitable spirit. She whom I now saw was a young woman, strong, perfect, and
vibrantly beautiful. There is no way to describe her; she was without defect of
any sort, and imagination could suggest no improvement. Have you ever seen the bronze
Diana of the Woods? She was something like that, except that metal cannot catch
the live dynamic beauty that I saw. But it was the same woman! Mrs Jennings - Amanda Todd, that
was - at perhaps her twenty-fifth year, when she had reached the full maturity
of her gorgeous womanhood, and before time had softened the focus of
perfection. I forgot to be afraid. I forgot
everything except that I was in the presence of the most compelling and dynamic
female had ever known. I forgot that she was at least sixty years older than
myself, and that her present form was simply a triumph of sorcery. I suppose if
anyone had asked me at that time if I were in love with Amanda Jennings, I
would have answered, Yes!' But at the time my thoughts were much too confused
to be explicit. She was there, and that was sufficient. She smiled, and her eyes were
warm with understanding. She spoke, and her voice was the voice I knew, even though
it was rich contralto in place of the accustomed clear, thin soprano. Is
everything all right, Archie?' Yes,' I answered in a shaky
voice. Yes, Amanda, everything is all right!' As for the Half World- How can I
describe a place that has no single matching criterion with what I have known?
How can I speak of things for which no words have been invented? One tells of
things unknown in terms of things which are known. Here there is no
relationship by which to link; all is irrelevant. All I can hope to do is tell
how matters affected my human senses, how events influenced my human emotions,
knowing that there are two falsehoods involved - the falsehood I saw and felt,
and the falsehood that I tell. I have discussed this matter
with Jedson, and he agrees with me that the difficulty is insuperable, yet some
things may be said with a partial element of truth - truth of a sort, with
respect to how the Half World impinged on me. There is one striking difference
between the real world and the Half World. In the real world there are natural
laws which persist through changes of custom and culture; in the Half World
only custom has any degree of persistence, and of natural law there is none.
Imagine, if you please, a condition in which the head of a state might repeal
the law of gravitation and have his decree really effective - a place where
King Canute could order back the sea and have the waves obey him. A place where
up' and down' were matters of opinion, and directions might read as readily in
days or colours as in miles. And yet it was not a meaningless anarchy, for they
were constrained to obey their customs as unavoidably as we comply with the
rules of natural phenomena. We made a sharp turn to the left
in the formless greyness that surrounded us in order to survey the years for a
sabbat meeting. It was Amanda's intention to face the Old One with the matter
directly rather than to search aimlessly through ever changing mazes of the
Half World for a being hard to identify at best. Royce picked Out the sabbat,
though I could see nothing until we let the ground come up to meet us and
proceeded on foot. Then there was light and form. Ahead of us, perhaps a
quarter of a mile away, was an eminence surmounted by a great throne which
glowed red through the murky air. I could not make out clearly the thing seated
there, but I knew it was himself' - our ancient enemy. We were no longer alone. Life -
sentient, evil undeadness - boiled around us and fogged the air and crept out
of the ground. The ground itself twitched and pulsated as we walked over it.
Faceless things sniffed and nibbled at our heels. We were aware of unseen
presences about us in the fog-shot gloom: beings that squeaked, grunted, and
sniggered; voices that were slobbering whimpers, that sucked and retched and
bleated. They seemed vaguely disturbed by
our presence - Heaven knows that I was terrified by them! - for I could hear
them flopping and shuffling out of our path, then closing cautiously in behind,
as they bleated warnings to one another. A shape floundered into our path
and stopped, a shape with a great bloated head and moist, limber arms. Back!'
it wheezed. Go back! Candidates for witchhood apply on the lower level.' It did
not speak English, but the words were clear. Royce smashed it in the face and
we stamped over it, its chalky bones crunching underfoot. It pulled itself
together again, whining its submission, then scurried out in front of us and
thereafter gave us escort right up to the great throne. That's the only way to treat
these beings,' Joe whispered in my ear. Kick em in the teeth first, and they'll
respect you.' There was a clearing before the throne which was crowded with
black witches, black magicians, demons in every foul guise, and lesser unclean
things. On the left side the cauldron boiled. On the right some of the company
were partaking of the witches' feast. I turned my head away from that. Directly
before the throne, as custom calls for, the witches' dance was being performed
for the amusement of the Goat. Some dozens of men and women, young and old,
comely and hideous, cavorted and leaped in impossible acrobatic adagio. The dance ceased and they gave
way uncertainly before us as we pressed up to the throne. What's this? What's
this?' came a husky, phlegm-filled voice. It's my little sweetheart! Come up
and sit beside me, my sweet! Have you come at last to sign my compact?' Jedson grasped my arm; I checked
my tongue. I'll stay where I am,' answered
Amanda in a voice crisp with contempt. As for your compact, you know better.' Then why are you here? And why
such odd companions.' He looked down at us from the vantage of his
throne, slapped hairy thigh and laughed immoderately. Royce stirred and
muttered; his grandfather's head chattered in wrath. Seraphhi spat. Jedson and Amanda put their
heads together for a moment, then she answered, By the treaty with Adam, I
claim the right to examine. He chuckled, and the little
devils around him covered their ears. You claim privileges here? With no
compact?' Your customs,' she answered
sharply. Ah yes, the customs! Since you
invoke them, so let it be. And whom would you examine?' I do not know his name. He is
one of your demons who has taken improper liberties outside your sphere.' One of my demons, and you know
not his name? I have seven million demons, my pretty. Will you examine them one
by one, or all together?' His sarcasm was almost the match of her contempt. All together.' Never let it be said that I
would not oblige a guest. If you will go forward - let me see - exactly five
months and three days, you will find my gentlemen drawn up for inspection.' I do not recollect how we got
there. There was a great, brown plain, and no sky. Drawn up in military order
for review by their evil lord were all the fiends of the Half World, legion on
legion, wave after wave. The Old One was attended by his cabinet; Jedson
pointed them out to me - Lucifugй, the prime minister; Sataniacha, field
marshal; Beelzebub and Leviathan, wing commanders; Ashtoreth, Abaddon, Mammon,
Theutus, Asmodeus, and Incubus, the Fallen Thrones. The seventy princes each
commanded a division, and each remained with his command, leaving only the
dukes and the thrones to attend their lord, Satan Mekratrig. He himself still appeared as the
Goat, but his staff took every detestable shape they fancied. Asmodeus sported
three heads, each evil and each different, rising out of the hind quarters of a
swollen dragon. Mammon resembled, very roughly, a particularly repulsive
tarantula. Ashtoreth I cannot describe at all. Only the Incubus affected a
semblance of human form, as the only vessel adequate to display his
lecherousness. The Goat glanced our way. Be
quick about it,' he demanded. We are not here for your amusement.' Amanda ignored him, but led us
towards the leading squadron. Come back!' he bellowed. And indeed we were back;
our steps had led us no place. You ignore the custom. Hostages first!' Amanda bit her lip. Admitted,'
she retorted, and consulted briefly with Royce and Jedson. I caught Royce's
answer to some argument. Since I am to go,' he said, it
is best that I choose my companion, for reasons that are sufficient to me. My
grandfather advises me to take the youngest. That one, of course, is Fraser.' What's this?' I said when my
name was mentioned. I had been rather pointedly left out of all the
discussions, but this was surely my business. Royce wants you to go with him
to smell out Ditworth,' explained Jedson. And leave Amanda here with these
fiends? I don't like it.' I can look out for myself,
Archie,' she said quietly. If Dr Worthington wants you, you can help me most by
going with him.' What is this hostage stuff?' Having demanded the right of
examination,' she explained, you must bring back Ditworth - or the hostages are
forfeit.' Jedson spoke up before I could
protest. Don't be a hero, son. This is serious. You can serve us all best by
going. If you two don't come back, you can bet that they'll have a fight on
their hands before they claim their forfeit!' I went. Worthington and I had hardly
left them before I realized acutely that what little peace of mind I had came
from the nearness of Amanda. Once out of her immediate influence the whole
mind-twisting horror of the place and its grisly denizens hit me. I felt
something rub against my ankles and nearly jumped out of my shoes. But when I
looked down I saw that Seraphin, Amanda's cat, had chosen to follow me. After
that things were better with me. Royce assumed his dog pose when
we came to the first rank of demons. He first handed me his grandfather's head.
Once I would have found that mummified head repulsive to touch; it seemed a
friendly, homey thing here. Then he was down on all fours, scalloping in and
out of the ranks of infernal warriors. Seraphin scampered after him, paired up
and hunted with him. The hound seemed quite content to let the cat do half the
work, and I have no doubt he was justified. I walked as rapidly as possible
down the aisles between adjacent squadrons while the animals cast out from side
to side. It seems to me that this went on
for many hours, certainly so long that fatigue changed to a wooden automatism
and horror died down to a dull unease. I learned not to look at the eyes of the
demons, and was no longer surprised at any outre shape. Squadron by squadron, division
by division, we combed them, until at last, coming up the left wing, we reached
the end. The animals had been growing increasingly nervous. When they had
completed the front rank of the leading squadron, the hound trotted up to me
and whined. I suppose he sought his grandfather, but I reached down and patted
his head. Don't despair, old friend,' I
said, we have still these.' I motioned towards the generals, princes all, who
were posted before their divisions. Coming up from the rear as we had, we had
yet to examine the generals of the leading divisions on the left wing. But
despair already claimed me; what were half a dozen possibilities against an
eliminated seven million? The dog trotted away to the post
of the nearest general, the cat close beside him, while I followed as rapidly
as possible. He commenced to yelp before he was fairly up to the demon, and I
broke into a run. The demon stirred and commenced to metamorphose. But even in
this strange shape there was something familiar about it. Ditworth!' I yelled,
and dived for him. I felt myself buffeted by
leather wings, raked by claws. Royce came to my aid, a dog no longer, but two
hundred pounds of fighting Negro. The cat was a ball of fury, teeth, and claws.
Nevertheless, we would have been lost, done in completely, had not an amazing
thing happened. A demon broke ranks and shot towards us. I sensed him rather
than saw him, and thought that he had come to succour his master, though I had
been assured that their customs did not permit it. But he helped us - us, his
natural enemies - and attacked with such vindictive violence that the gauge was
turned to our favour. Suddenly it was all over. I
found myself on the ground, clutching at not a demon prince but Ditworth in his
pseudo- human form - a little mild businessman, dressed with restrained
elegance, complete to briefcase, spectacles, and thinning hair. Take that thing off me,' he said
testily. That thing' was grandfather, who was clinging doggedly with toothless
gums to his neck. Royce spared a hand from the
task of holding Ditworth and resumed possession of his grandfather. Seraphin
stayed where he was, claws dug into our prisoner's leg. The demon who had rescued us was
still with us. He had Ditworth by the shoulders, talons dug into their bases. I
cleared my throat and said, I believe we owe this to you-' I had not the
slightest notion of the proper thing to say. I think the situation was utterly
without precedent. The demon made a grimace that
may have been intended to be friendly, but which I found frightening. Let me
introduce myself,' he said in English. I'm Federal Agent William Kane, Bureau
of Investigation.' I think that was what made me
faint. I came to, lying on my back.
Someone had smeared a salve on my wounds and they were hardly stiff, and not
painful in the least, but I was mortally tired. There was talking going on
somewhere near me. I turned my head and saw all the members of my party
gathered together. Worthington and the friendly demon who claimed to be a G-man
held Ditworth between them, facing Satan. Of all the mighty infernal army I saw
no trace. So it was my nephew Nebiros,'
mused the Goat, shaking his head and clucking. Nebiros, you are a bad lad and
I'm proud of you. But I'm afraid you will have to try your strength against
their champion now that they have caught you.' He addressed Amanda. Who is your
champion, my dear?' The friendly demon spoke up.
That sounds like my job.' I think not,' countered Amanda.
She drew him to one side and whispered intently. Finally he shrugged his wings
and gave in. Amanda rejoined the group. I
struggled to my feet and came up to them. A trial to the death, I think,' she
was saying. Are you ready, Nebiros?' I was stretched between heart-stopping
fear for Amanda and a calm belief that she could do anything she attempted.
Jedson saw my face and shook his head. I was not to interrupt. But Nebiros had no stomach for
it. Still in his Ditworth form and looking ridiculously human, he turned to the
Old One. I dare not, Uncle. The outcome is certain. Intercede for me.' Certainly, Nephew. I had rather
hoped she would destroy you. You'll trouble me someday.' Then to Amanda, Shall
we say... ah.. . ten thousand thousand years?' Amanda gathered our votes with
her eyes, including me, to my proud pleasure, and answered, So be it.' It was
not a stiff sentence as such things go, I'm told - about equal to six months in
jail in the real world - but he had not offended their customs; he had simply
been defeated by white magic. Old Nick brought down one arm in
an emphatic gesture. There was a crashing roar and a burst of light and
DitworthNebiros was spread-eagled before us on a mighty boulder, his limbs
bound with massive iron chains. He was again in demon form. Amanda and
Worthington examined the bonds. She pressed a seal ring against each hasp and
nodded to the Goat. At once the boulder receded with great speed into the
distance until it was gone from sight. That seems to be about all, and
I suppose you will be going now,' announced the Goat. All except this one-' He
smiled at the demon G-man. I have plans for him.' No.' Amanda's tone was flat. What's that, my little one? He
has not the protection of your party, and he has offended our customs.' No!' Really, I must insist.' Satan Mekratrig,' she said
slowly, do you wish to try your strength with me?' With you, madame?' He looked at
her carefully, as if inspecting her for the first time. Well, it's been a
trying day, hasn't it? Suppose we say no more about it. Till another time,
then-' He was gone. The demon faced her. Thanks,' he
said simply. I wish I had a hat to take off.' He added anxiously, Do you know
your way out of here?' Don't you?' No, that's the trouble. Perhaps
I should explain myself. I'm assigned to the antimonopoly division; we got a
line on this chap Ditworth, or Nebiros. I followed him in here, thinking he was
simply a black wizard and that I could use his portal to get back. By the time
I knew better it was too late, and I was trapped. I had about resigned myself to
an eternity as a fake demon.' I was very much interested in
his story. I knew, of course, that all G-men are either lawyers, magicians, or
accountants, but all that I had ever met were accountants. This calm assumption
of incredible dangers impressed me and increased my already high opinion of
Federal agents. You may use our portal to
return,' Anianda said. Stick close to us.' Then to the rest of us, Shall we go
now?' Jack Bodie was still intoning
the lines from the book when we landed. Eight and a half minutes,' he
announced, looking at his wrist watch. Nice work. Did you turn the trick?' Yes, we did,' acknowledged
Jedson, his voice muffled by the throes of his remetamorphosis. Everything
that-' But Bodie interrupted. Bill Kane
- you old scoundrel!' he shouted. How did you get in on this party?' Our demon
had shucked his transformation on the way and landed in his natural form -
lean, young, and hard-bitten, in a quiet grey suit and snap-brim hat. Hi, Jack,' he acknowledged. I'll
look you up tomorrow and tell you all about it. Got to report in now.' With
which he vanished. Ellen was out of her trance, and
Joe was bending solicitously over her to see how she had stood up under it. I
looked around for Amanda. Then I heard her out in the
kitchen and hurried out there. She looked up and smiled at me, her lovely young
face serene and coolly beautiful. Amanda,' I said, Amanda-' I suppose I had the subconscious
intention of kissing her, making love to her. But it is very difficult to start
anything of that sort unless the woman in the case in some fashion indicates
her willingness. She did not. She was warmly friendly, but there was a barrier
of reserve I could not cross. Instead, I followed her around the kitchen,
talking inconsequentially, while she made hot cocoa and toast for all of us. When we rejoined the others I
sat and let my cocoa get cold, staring at her with vague frustration in my
heart while Jedson told Ellen and Jack about our experiences. He took Ellen
home shortly thereafter, and Jack followed them out. When Amanda came back from
telling them goodnight at the door, Dr Royce was stretched out on his back on
the hearthrug, with Seraphin curled up on his broad chest. They were both
snoring softly. I realized suddenly that I was wretchedly tired. Amanda saw it,
too, and said, Lie down on the couch for a little and nap if you can.' I needed no urging. She came
over and spread a shawl over me and kissed me tenderly. I heard her going
upstairs as I fell asleep. I was awakened by sunlight
striking my face. Seraphin was sitting in the window, cleaning himself. Dr
Worthington was gone, but must have just left, for the nap on the hearthrug had
not yet straightened up. The house seemed deserted. Then I heard her light footsteps
in the kitchen. I was up at once and quickly out there. She had her back towards me and
was reaching up to the old-fashioned pendulum clock that hung on her kitchen
wall. She turned as I came in - tiny, incredibly aged, her thin white hair
brushed neatly into a bun. It was suddenly clear to me why
a motherly goodnight kiss was all that I had received the night before; she had
had enough sense for two of us, and had refused to permit me to make a fool of
myself. She looked up at me and said in
a calm, matter-of-fact voice, See, Archie, my old clock stopped yesterday' -
she reached up and touched the pendulum - but it is running again this
morning.' There is not anything more to
tell. With Ditworth gone, and Kane's report, Magic, Incorporated, folded up
almost overnight. The new licensing laws were an unenforced dead letter even
before they were repealed. We all hang around Mrs
Jennings's place just as much as she will let us. I'm really grateful that she
did not let me get involved with her younger self, for our present relationship
is something solid, something to tie to. Just the same, if I had been born
sixty years sooner, Mr Jennings would have had some rivalry to contend with. I helped Ellen and Joe organize
their new business, then put Bodie in as manager, for I decided that I did not
want to give up my old line. I've built the new wing and bought those two
trucks, just as Mrs Jennings predicted. Business is good.