"Robert A. Heinlein - If this goes on" - читать интересную книгу автора (Heinlein Robert A)

her. She might be ill, or she might be confined to her cell for what must
certainly have been a major breach of discipline. But I never saw her.
My roommate, Zebadiah Jones, noticed my moodiness and tried to rouse me
out of it. Zeb was three classes senior to me and I had been one of his
plebes at the Point; now he was my closest friend and my only confidant.
тАЪJohnnie old son, you look like a corpse at your own wake. WhatтАЩs eating on
you?тАЩ
тАЪHuh? Nothing at all. Touch of indigestion, maybe.тАЩ
тАЪSo? Come on, letтАЩs go for a walk. The air will do you good.тАЩ I let him herd me
outside. He said nothing but banalities until we were on the broad terrace
surrounding the south turret and free of the danger of eye and ear devices.
When we were well away from anyone else he said softly, тАЪCome on. Spill it.тАЩ
 тАЪShucks, Zeb, I canтАЩt burden anybody else with it.тАЩ
тАЪWhy not? WhatтАЩs a friend for?тАЩ
тАЪUh, youтАЩd be shocked.тАЩ
тАЪI doubt it. The last time I was shocked was when I drew four of a kind to an
ace kicker. It restored my faith in miracles and IтАЩve been relatively immune
ever since. Come on-weтАЩll call this a privileged communication-elder adviser
and all that sort of rot.тАЩ
I let him persuade me. To my surprise Zeb was not shocked to find that I let
myself become interested in a holy deaconess. So I told him the whole story
and added to it my doubts and troubles, the misgivings that had been
growing in me since the day I reported for duty at New Jerusalem.
He nodded casually. тАЪI can see how it would affect you that way, knowing
you. See here, you havenтАЩt admitted any of this at confession, have you?тАЩ
тАЪNo,тАЩ I admitted with embarrassment.
тАЪThen donтАЩt. Nurse your own fox. Major Bagby is broadminded, you wouldnтАЩt
shock him-but he might find it necessary to pass it on to his superiors. You
wouldnтАЩt want to face Inquisition even if you were alabaster innocent. In fact,
especially since you are innocent-and you are, you know; everybody has
impious thoughts at times. But the Inquisitor expects to find sin; if he doesnтАЩt
find it, he keeps on digging.тАЩ
At the suggestion that I might be put to the Question my stomach almost
turned over. I tried not to show it for Zeb went on calmly, тАЪJohnnie my lad, I
admire your piety and~ your innocence, but I donтАЩt envy it. Sometimes too
much piety is more of a handicap than too little. You find yourself shocked at
the idea that it takes politics as well as psalm singing to run a big country.
Now take me; I noticed the same things when I was new here, but I hadnтАЩt
expected anything different and wasnтАЩt shocked.тАЩ
тАЪBut-тАЪI shut up. His remarks sounded painfully like heresy; I changed the
subject. тАЪZeb, what do you suppose it could have been that upset Judith so
and caused her to faint the night she served the Prophet?тАЩ
тАЪEh? How should I know?тАЩ He glanced at me and looked away.
тАЪWell, I just thought you might. You generally have all the gossip around
the Palace.тАЩ
тАЪWell . . . oh, forget it, old son. ItтАЩs really not important.тАЩ
тАЪThen you do know?тАЩ
тАЪI didnтАЩt say that. Maybe I could make a close guess, but you donтАЩt want
guesses. So forget it.тАЩ
I stopped strolling, stepped in front of him and faced him. тАЪZeb, anything you