Robert
A. Heinlein: THE
MAN WHO TRAVELED IN ELEPHANTS
RAIN STREAMED ACROSS THE BUS'S WINDOW.
John Watts peered out at wooded hills, content despite the
weather. As long as he was rolling, moving, traveling, the
ache of loneliness was somewhat quenched. He could close his
eyes and imagine that Martha was seated beside him.
They had always traveled
together; they had honeymooned covering his sales territory.
In time they had covered the entire country--Route 66, with
the Indians' booths by the highway, Route 1, up through the
District, the Pennsylvania Turnpike, zipping in and out through
the mountain tunnels, himself hunched over the wheel and Martha
beside him, handling the maps and figuring the mileage to
their next stop.
He recalled one of Martha's
friends saying, "But, dear, don't you get tired of it?"
He could bear Martha's
bubbly laugh, "With forty-eight wide and wonderful states
to see, grow tired? Besides, there is always something
new--fairs and expositions and things."
"But when you've seen
one fair you've seen them all."
"You think there is no
difference between the Santa Barbara Fiesta and the Fort Worth
Fat Stock Show? Anyhow," Martha had gone on, "Johnny and I
are country cousins; we like to stare at the tall buildings
and get freckles on the roofs of our mouths."
"Do be sensible, Martha."
The woman had turned to him. "John, isn't it time that you
two were settling down and making something out of your lives?"
Such people tired him.
"It's for the 'possums," he had told her solemnly. "They like
to travel."
"The opossums? What in
the world is he talking about, Martha?"
Martha had shot him a
private glance, then dead-panned, "Oh, I'm sorry! You see,
Johnny raises baby 'possums in his umbilicus."
"I'm equipped for it,"
he had confirmed, patting his round stomach.
That had settled her
hash! He had never been able to stand people who gave advice
"for your own good."
Martha had read somewhere
that a litter of new-born opossums would no more than fill
a teaspoon and that as many as six in a litter were often
orphans through lack of facilities in mother 'possum's pouch
to take care of them all.
They had immediately
formed the Society for the Rescue and Sustenance of the Other
Six 'Possums, and Johnny himself had been unanimously selected--by
Martha--as the site of Father Johnny's 'Possum Town. They
had had other imaginary pets, too. Martha and he had hoped
for children; when none came, their family had filled out
with invisible little animals: Mr. Jenkins, the little gray
burro who advised them about motels, Chipmink the chattering
chipmunk, who lived in the glove compartment, Mus Followalongus
the traveling mouse, who never said anything but who would
bite unexpectedly, especially around Martha's knees.
They were all gone now;
they had gradually faded away for lack of Martha's gay, infectious
spirit to keep them in health. Even Bindlestiff, who was not
invisible, was no longer with him. Bindlestiff was a dog they
had picked up beside the road, far out in the desert, given
water and succor and received in return his large uncritical
heart. Bindlestiff had traveled with them thereafter, until
he, too, had been called away, shortly after Martha.
John Watts wondered about
Bindlestiff. Did he roam free in the Dog Star, in a land lush
with rabbits and uncovered garbage pails? More likely he was
with Martha, sitting on her feet and getting in the way. Johnny
hoped so.
He sighed and turned
his attention to the passengers.
A thin, very elderly
woman leaned across the aisle and said, "Going to the Fair,
young man?"
He started. It was twenty
years since anyone had called him "young man." "Uh? Yes, certainly."
They were all going to the Fair: the bus was a special.
"You like going to fairs?"
"Very much." He knew
that her inane remarks were formal gambits to start a conversation.
He did not resent it; lonely old women have need of talk with
strangers--and so did he. Besides, he liked perky old women.
They seemed the very spirit of America to him, putting him
in mind of church sociables and farm kitchens--and covered
wagons.
"I like fairs, too,"
she went on. "I even used to exhibit--quince jelly and my
Crossing-the-Jordan pattern."
"Blue ribbons, I'll bet."
"Some," she admitted,
"but mostly I just liked to go to them. I'm Mrs. Alma Hill
Evans. Mr. Evans was a great one for doings. Take the exposition
when they opened the Panama Canal--but you wouldn't remember
that."
John Watts admitted that
be had not been there.
"It wasn't the best of
the lot, anyway. The Fair of '93, there was a fair for you:
There'll never be one that'll even be a patch on that one."
"Until this one, perhaps?"
"This one? Pish and tush!
Size isn't everything." The All-American Exposition would
certainly be the biggest thing yet--and the best. If only
Martha were along, it would seem like heaven. The old lady
changed the subject. "You're a traveling man, aren't you?"
He hesitated, then answered,
"Yes."
"I can always tell. What
line are you in, young man?"
He hesitated longer,
then said flatly, "I travel in elephants."
She looked at him sharply
and he wanted to explain, but loyalty to Martha kept his mouth
shut. Martha had insisted that they treat their calling seriously,
never explaining, never apologizing. They had taken it up
when he had planned to retire; they had been talking of getting
an acre of ground and doing something useful with radishes
or rabbits, or such. Then, during their final trip over his
sales route, Martha had announced after a long silence. "John,
you don't want to stop traveling."
"Eh? Don't I? You mean
we should keep the territory?"
"No, that's done. But
we won't settle down, either."
"What do you want to
do? Just gypsy around?"
"Not exactly. I think
we need some new line to travel in."
"Hardware? Shoes? Ladies'
ready-to-wear?"
"No." She had stopped
to think. "We ought to travel in something. It gives
point to your movements. I think it ought to be something
that doesn't turn over too fast, so that we could have a really
large territory, say the whole United States."
"Battleships perhaps?"
"Battleships are out
of date, but that's close." Then they had passed a barn with
a tattered circus poster. "I've got it!" She had shouted.
"Elephants! We'll travel in elephants."
"Elephants, eh? Rather
hard to carry samples."
"We don't need to. Everybody
knows what an elephant looks like. Isn't that right, Mr. Jenkins?"
The invisible burro had agreed with Martha, as he always did;
the matter was settled.
Martha had known just
how to go about it. "First we make a survey. We'll have to
comb the United States from corner to comer before we'll be
ready to take orders."
For ten years they had
conducted the survey. It was an excuse to visit every fair,
zoo, exposition, stock show, circus, or punkin doings anywhere,
for were they not all prospective customers? Even national
parks and other natural wonders were included in the survey,
for how was one to tell where a pressing need for an elephant
might turn up? Martha had treated the matter with a straight
face and had kept a dog-eared notebook: "La Brea Tar Pits,
Los Angeles--surplus of elephants, obsolete type, in these
parts about 25,000 years ago." "Philadelphia--sell at least
six to the Union League." "Brookfield Zoo, Chicago -- African
elephants, rare." "Gallup, New Mexico -- tone elephants east
of town, very beautiful." '4Riverside, California, Elephant
Barbershop -- brace owner to buy mascot." "Portland, Oregon--query
Douglas Fir Association. Recite Road to Mandalay. Same
for Southern Pine group. N.B. this calls for trip to Gulf
as soon as we finish with rodeo in Laramie."
Ten years and they had
enjoyed every mile of it. The survey was still unfinished
when Martha had been taken. John wondered if she had buttonholed
Saint Peter about the elephant situation in the Holy City.
He'd bet a nickel she had.
But he could not admit
to a stranger that traveling in elephants was just his wife's
excuse for traveling around the country they loved.
The old woman did not
press the matter. "I knew a man once who sold mongooses,"
she said cheerfully. "Or is it 'mongeese'? He had been in
the exterminator business and--what does that driver think
he is doing?"
The big bus had been
rolling along easily despite the driving rain. Now it was
swerving, skidding. It lurched sickeningly--and crashed.
John Watts banged his
head against the seat in front. He was picking himself up,
dazed, not too sure where he was, when Mrs. Evans' thin, confident
soprano oriented him. ''Nothing to get excited about, folks.
I've been expecting this--and you can see it didn't hurt a
bit."
John Watts admitted that
he himself was unhurt. He peered near-sightedly around, then
fumbled on the sloping floor for his glasses. He found them,
broken. He shrugged and put them aside; once they arrived
he could dig a spare pair out of his bags.
"Now let's see what has
happened," Mrs. Evans went on. "Come along, young man." He
followed obediently.
The right wheel of the
bus leaned drunkenly against the curb of the approach to a
bridge. The driver was standing in the rain, dabbing at a
cut on his cheek. "I couldn't help it,'' he was saying. "A
dog ran across the road and I tried to avoid it."
"You might have killed
us!" a woman complained.
"Don't cry till you're
hurt," advised Mrs. Evans. "Now let's get back into the bus
while the driver phones for someone to pick us up."
John Watts hung back
to peer over the side of the canyon spanned by the bridge.
The ground dropped away steeply; almost under him were large,
mean-looking rocks. He shivered and got back into the bus.
The relief car came along
very promptly, or else he must have dozed. The latter, he
decided, for the rain had stopped and the sun was breaking
through the clouds. The relief driver thrust his head in the
door and shouted, "Come on, folks! Time's a-wastin'! Climb
out and climb in." Hurrying, John stumbled as he got aboard.
The new driver gave him a hand. "'Smatter, Pop? Get shaken
up?"
"I'm all right, thanks."
"Sure you are. Never
better."
He found a seat by Mrs.
Evans, who smiled and said, "Isn't it a heavenly day?"
He agreed. It was
a beautiful day, now that the storm had broken. Great fleecy
clouds tumbling up into warm blue sky, a smell of clean wet
pavement, drenched fields and green things growing--he lay
back and savored it. While he was soaking it up a great double
rainbow formed and blazed in the eastern sky. He looked at
them and made two wishes, one for himself and one for Martha.
The rainbows' colors seemed to be reflected in everything
be saw. Even the other passengers seemed younger, happier,
better dressed, now that the sun was out. He felt light-hearted,
almost free from his aching loneliness.
They were there in jig
time; the new driver more than made up the lost minutes. A
great arch stretched across the road: THE ALL-AMERICAN CELEBRATION
AND EXPOSITION OF ARTS and under it PEACE AND GOOD WILL TO
ALL. They drove through and sighed to a stop.
Mrs. Evans hopped up.
"Got a date--must run!" She trotted to the door, then called
back, "See you on the midway, young man," and disappeared
in the crowd.
John Watts got out last
and turned to speak to the driver. "Oh, uh, about my baggage.
I want to--"
The driver had started
his engine again. "Don't worry about your baggage," be called
out. "You'll be taken care of." The huge bus moved away.
"But--" John Watts stopped;
the bus was gone. All very well--but what was be to do without
his glasses?
But there were sounds
of carnival behind him, that decided him. After all, he thought,
tomorrow will do. If anything is too far away for me to see,
I can always walk closer. He joined the queue at the gate
and went in.
It was undeniably the
greatest show ever assembled for the wonderment of mankind.
It was twice as big as all outdoors, brighter than bright
lights, newer than new, stupendous, magnificent, breathtaking,
awe inspiring, supercolossal, incredible--and a lot of fun.
Every community in America had sent its own best to this amazing
show. The marvels of P. T. Barnum, of Ripley, and of all Tom
Edison's godsons had been gathered in one spot. From up and
down a broad continent the riches of a richly endowed land
and the products of a clever and industrious people had been
assembled, along with their folk festivals, their annual blowouts,
their celebrations, and their treasured carnival customs.
The result was as American as strawberry shortcake and as
gaudy as a Christmas tree, arid it all lay there before him,
noisy and full of life and crowded with happy, holiday people.
Johnny Watts took a deep
breath and plunged into it.
He started with the Fort
Worth Southwestern Exposition and Fat Stock Show and spent
in hour admiring gentle, white-faced steers, as wide and square
as flat-topped desks, scrubbed and curried, with their hair
parted neatly from skull to base of spine, then day-old little
black lambs on rubbery stalks of legs, too new to know themselves,
fat ewes, their broad backs, paddled flatter and flatter by
grave-eyed boys intent on blue ribbons. Next door he found
the Pomona Fair with solid matronly Percherons and dainty
Palominos from the Kellog Ranch.
And harness racing. Martha
and he had always loved harness racing. He picked out a likely
looking nag of the famous Dan Patch line, bet and won, then
moved on, as there was so much more to see. Other country
fairs were just beyond, apples from Yakima, the cherry festival
from Beaumont and Banning, Georgia's peaches. Somewhere off
beyond him a band was beating out, "Ioway, Ioway, that's where
the tall corn grows!"
Directly in front of
him was a pink cotton candy booth.
Martha had loved the
stuff. Whether at Madison Square Garden or at Imperial County's
fair grounds she had always headed first for the cotton candy
booth. "The big size, honey?" he muttered to himself. He felt
that if he were to look around he would see her nodding. "The
large size, please," he said to the vendor.
The carnie was elderly,
dressed in a frock coat and stiff shirt. He handled the pink
gossamer with dignified grace. "Certainly, sir, there is no
other size." He twirled the paper cornucopia and presented
it. Johnny banded him a half dollar. The man flexed and opened
his fingers; the coin disappeared. That appeared to end the
matter.
"The candy is fifty cents?"
Johnny asked diffidently. "Not at all, sir." The old showman
plucked the coin from Johnny's lapel and handed it back. "On
the house--I see you are with it. After all, what is money?"
"Why, thank you, but,
ah, I'm not really 'with it,' you know."
The old man shrugged.
"If you wish to go incognito, who am I to dispute you? But
your money is no good here."
"Uh, if you say so."
"You will see."
He felt something brush
against his leg. It was a dog of the same breed, or lack of
breed, as Bindlestiff had been. It looked amazingly like Bindlestiff.
The dog looked up and waggled its whole body.
"Why, hello, old fellow!"
He patted it-then his eyes blurred; it even felt like Bindlestiff.
"Are you lost, boy? Well, so am I. Maybe we had better stick
together, eh? Are you hungry?"
The dog licked his hand.
He turned to the cotton candy man. "Where can I buy hot dogs?"
"Just across the way,
sir."
He thanked him, whistled
to the dog, and hurried across. "A half dozen hot dogs, please."
"Coming up! Just mustard,
or everything on?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I want
them raw, they are for a dog."
"I getcha. Just a sec."
Presently he was handed
six wienies, wrapped in paper. "How much are they?"
"Compliments of the house."
"I beg pardon?"
"Every dog has his day.
This is his."
"Oh. Well, thank you."
He became aware of increased noise and excitement behind him
and looked around to see the first of the floats of the Priests
of Pallas, from Kansas City, coming down the street. His friend
the dog saw it, too, and began to bark.
"Quiet, old fellow."
He started to unwrap the meat. Someone whistled across the
way; the dog darted between the floats and was gone. Johnny
tried to follow, but was told to wait until the parade had
passed. Between floats be caught glimpses of the dog, leaping
up on a lady across the way. What with the dazzling lights
of the floats and his own lack of glasses he could not see
her clearly, but it was plain that the dog knew her; he was
greeting her with the all-out enthusiasm only a dog can achieve.
He held up the package
and tried to shout to her; she waved back, but the band music
and the noise of the crowd made it impossible to hear each
other. He decided to enjoy the parade, then cross and find
the pooch and its mistress as soon as the last float had passed.
It seemed to him the
finest Priests of Pallas parade be had ever seen. Come to
think about it, there hadn't been a Priests of Pallas parade
in a good many years. Must have revived it just for this.
That was like Kansas
City--a grand town. He didn't know of any he liked as well.
Possibly Seattle. And New Orleans, of course.
And Duluth--Duluth was
swell. And so was Memphis. He would like to own a bus someday
that ran from Memphis to Saint Joe, from Natchez to Mobile,
wherever the wide winds blow.
Mobile--there was a town.
The parade was past now,
with a swarm of small boys tagging after it. He hurried across.
The lady was not there,
neither she, nor the dog. He looked quite thoroughly. No dog.
No lady with a dog.
He wandered off, his
eyes alert for marvels, but his thoughts on the dog. It really
had been a great deal like Bindlestiff . . .and he wanted
to know the lady it belonged to--anyone who could love that
sort of a dog must be a pretty good sort herself. Perhaps
he could buy her ice cream, or persuade her to go the midway
with him. Martha would approve he was sure. Martha would know
be wasn't up to anything.
Anyhow, no one ever took
a little fat man seriously.
But there was too much
going on to worry about it. He found himself at St. Paul's
Winter Carnival, marvelously constructed in summer weather
through the combined efforts of York and Amencan. For fifty
years it had been held in January, yet here it was, rubbing
shoulders with the Pendleton Round-Up, the Fresno Raisin Festival,
and Colonial Week in Annapolis. He got in at the tail end
of the ice show, but in time for one of his favorite acts,
the Old Smoothies, out of retirement for the occasion and
gliding as perfectly as ever to the strains of Shine On,
Harvest Moon.
His eyes blurred again
and it was not his lack of glasses.
Coming out he passed
a large sign: SADIE HAWKINS DAY--STARTING POINT FOR BACHELORS.
He was tempted to take part; perhaps the lady with the dog
might be among the spinsters. But he was a little tired by
now; just ahead there was an outdoor carnival of the pony-ride-and-ferris-wheel
sort; a moment later he was on the merry-go-round and was
climbing gratefully into one of those swan gondolas so favored
by parents. He found a young man already seated there, reading
a book.
"Oh, excuse me," said
Johnny. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all," the young
man answered and put his book down. "Perhaps you are the man
I'm looking for."
"You are looking for
someone?"
"Yes. You see, I'm a
detective. I've always wanted to be one and now I am."
"Indeed?"
"Quite. Everyone rides
the merry-go-round eventually, so it saves trouble to wait
here. Of course, I hang around Hollywood and Vine, or Times
Square, or Canal Street, but here I can sit and read."
"How can you read while
watching for someone?"
"Ah, I know what is in
the book--" He held it up; it was The Hunting of the Snark.
"-so that leaves my eyes free for watching."
Johnny began to like
this young man. "Are there boojums about?"
"No, for we haven't softly
and silently vanished away. But would we notice it if we did?
I must think it over. Are you a detective, too?"
"No, I--uh, I travel
in elephants."
"A fine profession. But
not much for you here, We have giraffes--" He raised his voice
above the music of the calliope and let his eyes rove around
the carousel. "--camels, two zebras, plenty of horses, but
no elephants. Be sure to see the Big Parade; there will be
elephants."
"Oh, I wouldn't miss
it!"
"You musn't. It will
be the most amazing parade in all time, so long that it will
never pass a given point and every mile choked with wonders
more stupendous than the last. You're sure you're not the
man I'm looking for?"
"I don't think so. But
see here--how would you go about finding a lady with a dog
in this crowd?"
"Well, if she comes here,
I'll let you know. Better go down on Canal Street. Yes, I
think if I were a lady with a dog I'd be down on Canal Street.
Women love to mask; it means they can unmask."
Johnny stood up. "How
do I get to Canal Street?"
"Straight through Central
City past the opera house, then turn right at the Rose Bowl.
Be careful then, for you pass through the Nebraska section
with Ak-Sar-Ben in full sway. Anything could happen. After
that, Calaveras County--Mind the frogs!--then Canal Street."
"Thank you so much."
He followed the directions, keeping an eye out for the lady
with a dog. Nevertheless he stared with wonder at the things
he saw as he headed through the gay crowds. He did see a dog,
but it was a seeing-eye dog--and that was a great wonder,
too, for the live clear eyes of the dog's master could and
did see anything that was going on around him, yet the man
and the dog traveled together with the man letting the dog
direct their way, as it no other way of travel were conceivable,
or desired, by either one.
He found himself in Canal
Street presently and the illusion was so complete that it
was hard to believe that he had not been transported to New
Orleans. Carnival was at height; it was Fat Tuesday here;
the crowds were masked. He got a mask from a street vendor
and went on.
The hunt seemed hopeless.
The street was choked by merry-makers watching the parade
of the Krewe of Venus. It was hard to breathe, much harder
to move and search. He eased into Bourbon Street--the entire
French Quarter had been reproduced--when he saw the dog.
He was sure it was the
dog. It was wearing a clown suit and a little peaked hat,
but it looked like his dog. He corrected himself; it looked
like Bindlestiff.
And it accepted one of
the frankfurters gratefully. "Where is she, old fellow?" The
dog woofed once, then darted away into the crowd. He tried
to follow, but could not; he required more clearance. But
he was not downhearted; he had found the dog once, he would
find him again. Besides, it had been at a masked ball that
he had first met Martha, she a graceful Pierrette, he a fat
Pierrot. They had watched the dawn come up after the ball
and before the sun had set again they had agreed to marry.
He watched the crowd
for Pierrettes, sure somehow that the dog's mistress would
costume so.
Everything about this
fair made him think even more about Martha, if that were possible.
How she had traveled his territory with him, how it had been
their habit to start out, anywhere, whenever a vacation came
along. Chuck the Duncan Hines guide and some bags in the car
and be off. Martha . . . sitting beside him with the open
highway a broad ribbon before them . . . singing their road
song America the Beautiful and keeping him on key:
"-- thine alabaster cities gleam, undimmed by human tears-"
Once she had said to
him, while they were bowling along through--where was it?
The Black Hills? The Ozarks? The Poconos? No matter. She had
said, "Johnny, you'll never be President and I'll never be
First Lady, but I'll bet we know more about the United States
than any President ever has. Those busy, useful people never
have time to see it, not really."
"It's a wonderful country,
darling."
"It is, it is indeed.
I could spend all eternity just traveling around in it--traveling
in elephants, Johnny, with you."
He had reached over and
patted her knee; he remembered how it felt.
The revelers in the mock
French Quarter were thinning out; they had drifted away while
he daydreamed. He stopped a red devil. "Where is everyone
going?"
"To the parade, of course."
"The Big Parade?"
"Yes, it's forming
now." The red devil moved on, he followed.
His own sleeve was plucked.
"Did you find her?" It was Mrs. Evans, slightly disguised
by a black domino and clinging to the arm of a tall and elderly
Uncle Sam.
"Eh? Why, hello, Mrs.
Evans! What do you mean?"
"Don't be silly. Did
you find her?"
"How did you know I was
looking for anyone?"
"Of course you were.
Well, keep looking. We must go now." They trailed after the
mob.
The Big Parade was already
passing by the time he reached its route. It did not matter,
there was endlessly more to come. The Holly, Colorado, Boosters
were passing; they were followed by the prize Shriner drill
team. Then came the Veiled Prophet of Khorassan and his Queen
of Love and Beauty, up from their cave in the bottom of the
Mississippi . . . the Anniversary Day Parade from Brooklyn,
with the school children carrying little American flags .
. . the Rose Parade from Pasadena, miles of flowered-covered
floats . . . the Indian Powwow from Flagstaff, twenty-two
nations represented and no buck in the march wearing less
than a thousand dollars' worth of hand-wrought jewelry. After
the indigenous Americans rode Buffalo Bill, goatee jutting
out and hat in hand, locks flowing in the breeze. Then was
the delegation from Hawaii with King Kamehamela himself playing
Alii, Lord of Carnival, with royal abandon, while his subjects
in dew-fresh leis pranced behind him, giving aloha to all.
There was no end. Square
dancers from Ojai and from upstate New York, dames and gentlemen
from Annapolis, the Cuero, Texas, Turkey Trot, all the Krewes
and marching clubs of old New Orleans, double flambeaux blazing,
nobles throwing favors to the crowd--the King of Zulus and
his smooth brown court, singing: "Everybody who was anybody
doubted it--"
And the Mummers came,
"taking a suit up the street" to Oh Demi Golden Slippers.
Here was something older than the country celebrating it,
the shuffling jig of the masquers, a step that was young when
mankind was young and first celebrating the birth of spring.
First the fancy clubs, whose captains wore capes worth a king's
ransom--or a mortgage on a row house with fifty pages to bear
them. Then the Liberty Clowns and the other comics and lastly
the ghostly, sweet string bands whose strains bring tears.
Johnny thought back to
'44 when he had first seen them march, old men and young boys,
because the proper "shooters" were away to war. And of something
that should not be on Broad Street in Philadelphia on the
first day of January, men riding in the parade because, merciful
Heaven forgive us, they could not walk.
He looked and saw that
there were indeed automobiles in the line of march--wounded
of the last war, and one G.A.R., hat square, bands folded
over the head of his cane. Johnny held his breath and waited.
When each automobile approached the judges' stand, it stopped
short of it, and everyone got out. Somehow, with each other's
help, they hobbled or crawled past the judging line, under
their own power--and each club's pride was kept intact.
There followed another
wonder--they did not get back into the automobiles, but marched
up Broad Street.
Then it was Hollywood
Boulevard, disguised as Santa Claus Lane, in a production
more stupendous than movieland had ever attempted before.
There were baby stars galore and presents and favors and candy
for all the children and all the grown-up children, too. When,
at last, Santa Claus's own float arrived, it was almost too
large to be seen, a veritable iceberg, almost the North Pole
itself, with John Barrymore and Mickey Mouse riding one on
each side of Saint Nicholas.
On the tail end of the
great, icy float was a pathetic little figure. Johnny squinted
and recognized Mr. Emmett Kelly, dean of all clowns, in his
role as Weary Willie. Willie was not merry--oh, no, he was
shivering.
Johnny did not know whether to laugh or to cry. Mr. Kelly
had always affected him that way.
And the elephants came.
Big elephants, little
elephants, middle-sized elephants, from pint-sized Wrinkles
to mighty Jumbo . . . and with them the bull men, Chester
Conklin, P. T. Barnum, Wallie Beery, Mowgli. "This," Johnny
said to himself, "must be Mulberry Street."
There was a commotion
on the other side of the column; one of the men was shooing
something away. Then Johnny saw what it was--the dog. He whistled;
the animal seemed confused, then it spotted him, scampered
up, and jumped into Johnny's arms. "You stay with me," Johnny
told him. "You might have gotten stepped on."
The dog licked his face.
He had lost his clown suit, but the little peaked cap hung
down under his neck. "What have you been up to?" asked Johnny.
"And where is your mistress?"
The last of the elephants
were approaching, three abreast, pulling a great carriage.
A bugle sounded up front and the procession stopped. "Why
are they stopping?" Johnny asked a neighbor.
"Wait a moment. You'll
see."
The Grand Marshal of
the march came trotting back down the line. He rode a black
stallion and was himself brave in villain's boots, white pegged
breeches, cutaway, and top hat. He glanced all around.
He stopped immediately
in front of Johnny. Johnny held the dog more closely to him.
The Grand Marshal dismounted and bowed. Johnny looked around
to see who was behind him. The Marshal removed his tall silk
hat and caught Johnny's eye. "You, sir, are the Man Who Travels
in Elephants?" It was more a statement than a question.
"Uh? Yes."
"Greetings, Rex! Serene
Majesty, your Queen and your court await you." The man turned
slightly, as if to lead the way.
Johnny gulped and gathered
Bindlestiff under one arm. The Marshal led him to the elephant-drawn
carriage. The dog slipped out of his arms and bounded up into
the carriage and into the lap of the lady. She patted it and
looked proudly, happily, down at Johnny Watts. "Hello, Johnny!
Welcome home, darling!"
"Martha!" he sobbed--and
Rex stumbled and climbed into his carriage to embrace his
queen.
The sweet voice of a
bugle sounded up ahead, the parade started up again, wending
its endless way--
.
Robert
A. Heinlein: THE
MAN WHO TRAVELED IN ELEPHANTS
RAIN STREAMED ACROSS THE BUS'S WINDOW.
John Watts peered out at wooded hills, content despite the
weather. As long as he was rolling, moving, traveling, the
ache of loneliness was somewhat quenched. He could close his
eyes and imagine that Martha was seated beside him.
They had always traveled
together; they had honeymooned covering his sales territory.
In time they had covered the entire country--Route 66, with
the Indians' booths by the highway, Route 1, up through the
District, the Pennsylvania Turnpike, zipping in and out through
the mountain tunnels, himself hunched over the wheel and Martha
beside him, handling the maps and figuring the mileage to
their next stop.
He recalled one of Martha's
friends saying, "But, dear, don't you get tired of it?"
He could bear Martha's
bubbly laugh, "With forty-eight wide and wonderful states
to see, grow tired? Besides, there is always something
new--fairs and expositions and things."
"But when you've seen
one fair you've seen them all."
"You think there is no
difference between the Santa Barbara Fiesta and the Fort Worth
Fat Stock Show? Anyhow," Martha had gone on, "Johnny and I
are country cousins; we like to stare at the tall buildings
and get freckles on the roofs of our mouths."
"Do be sensible, Martha."
The woman had turned to him. "John, isn't it time that you
two were settling down and making something out of your lives?"
Such people tired him.
"It's for the 'possums," he had told her solemnly. "They like
to travel."
"The opossums? What in
the world is he talking about, Martha?"
Martha had shot him a
private glance, then dead-panned, "Oh, I'm sorry! You see,
Johnny raises baby 'possums in his umbilicus."
"I'm equipped for it,"
he had confirmed, patting his round stomach.
That had settled her
hash! He had never been able to stand people who gave advice
"for your own good."
Martha had read somewhere
that a litter of new-born opossums would no more than fill
a teaspoon and that as many as six in a litter were often
orphans through lack of facilities in mother 'possum's pouch
to take care of them all.
They had immediately
formed the Society for the Rescue and Sustenance of the Other
Six 'Possums, and Johnny himself had been unanimously selected--by
Martha--as the site of Father Johnny's 'Possum Town. They
had had other imaginary pets, too. Martha and he had hoped
for children; when none came, their family had filled out
with invisible little animals: Mr. Jenkins, the little gray
burro who advised them about motels, Chipmink the chattering
chipmunk, who lived in the glove compartment, Mus Followalongus
the traveling mouse, who never said anything but who would
bite unexpectedly, especially around Martha's knees.
They were all gone now;
they had gradually faded away for lack of Martha's gay, infectious
spirit to keep them in health. Even Bindlestiff, who was not
invisible, was no longer with him. Bindlestiff was a dog they
had picked up beside the road, far out in the desert, given
water and succor and received in return his large uncritical
heart. Bindlestiff had traveled with them thereafter, until
he, too, had been called away, shortly after Martha.
John Watts wondered about
Bindlestiff. Did he roam free in the Dog Star, in a land lush
with rabbits and uncovered garbage pails? More likely he was
with Martha, sitting on her feet and getting in the way. Johnny
hoped so.
He sighed and turned
his attention to the passengers.
A thin, very elderly
woman leaned across the aisle and said, "Going to the Fair,
young man?"
He started. It was twenty
years since anyone had called him "young man." "Uh? Yes, certainly."
They were all going to the Fair: the bus was a special.
"You like going to fairs?"
"Very much." He knew
that her inane remarks were formal gambits to start a conversation.
He did not resent it; lonely old women have need of talk with
strangers--and so did he. Besides, he liked perky old women.
They seemed the very spirit of America to him, putting him
in mind of church sociables and farm kitchens--and covered
wagons.
"I like fairs, too,"
she went on. "I even used to exhibit--quince jelly and my
Crossing-the-Jordan pattern."
"Blue ribbons, I'll bet."
"Some," she admitted,
"but mostly I just liked to go to them. I'm Mrs. Alma Hill
Evans. Mr. Evans was a great one for doings. Take the exposition
when they opened the Panama Canal--but you wouldn't remember
that."
John Watts admitted that
be had not been there.
"It wasn't the best of
the lot, anyway. The Fair of '93, there was a fair for you:
There'll never be one that'll even be a patch on that one."
"Until this one, perhaps?"
"This one? Pish and tush!
Size isn't everything." The All-American Exposition would
certainly be the biggest thing yet--and the best. If only
Martha were along, it would seem like heaven. The old lady
changed the subject. "You're a traveling man, aren't you?"
He hesitated, then answered,
"Yes."
"I can always tell. What
line are you in, young man?"
He hesitated longer,
then said flatly, "I travel in elephants."
She looked at him sharply
and he wanted to explain, but loyalty to Martha kept his mouth
shut. Martha had insisted that they treat their calling seriously,
never explaining, never apologizing. They had taken it up
when he had planned to retire; they had been talking of getting
an acre of ground and doing something useful with radishes
or rabbits, or such. Then, during their final trip over his
sales route, Martha had announced after a long silence. "John,
you don't want to stop traveling."
"Eh? Don't I? You mean
we should keep the territory?"
"No, that's done. But
we won't settle down, either."
"What do you want to
do? Just gypsy around?"
"Not exactly. I think
we need some new line to travel in."
"Hardware? Shoes? Ladies'
ready-to-wear?"
"No." She had stopped
to think. "We ought to travel in something. It gives
point to your movements. I think it ought to be something
that doesn't turn over too fast, so that we could have a really
large territory, say the whole United States."
"Battleships perhaps?"
"Battleships are out
of date, but that's close." Then they had passed a barn with
a tattered circus poster. "I've got it!" She had shouted.
"Elephants! We'll travel in elephants."
"Elephants, eh? Rather
hard to carry samples."
"We don't need to. Everybody
knows what an elephant looks like. Isn't that right, Mr. Jenkins?"
The invisible burro had agreed with Martha, as he always did;
the matter was settled.
Martha had known just
how to go about it. "First we make a survey. We'll have to
comb the United States from corner to comer before we'll be
ready to take orders."
For ten years they had
conducted the survey. It was an excuse to visit every fair,
zoo, exposition, stock show, circus, or punkin doings anywhere,
for were they not all prospective customers? Even national
parks and other natural wonders were included in the survey,
for how was one to tell where a pressing need for an elephant
might turn up? Martha had treated the matter with a straight
face and had kept a dog-eared notebook: "La Brea Tar Pits,
Los Angeles--surplus of elephants, obsolete type, in these
parts about 25,000 years ago." "Philadelphia--sell at least
six to the Union League." "Brookfield Zoo, Chicago -- African
elephants, rare." "Gallup, New Mexico -- tone elephants east
of town, very beautiful." '4Riverside, California, Elephant
Barbershop -- brace owner to buy mascot." "Portland, Oregon--query
Douglas Fir Association. Recite Road to Mandalay. Same
for Southern Pine group. N.B. this calls for trip to Gulf
as soon as we finish with rodeo in Laramie."
Ten years and they had
enjoyed every mile of it. The survey was still unfinished
when Martha had been taken. John wondered if she had buttonholed
Saint Peter about the elephant situation in the Holy City.
He'd bet a nickel she had.
But he could not admit
to a stranger that traveling in elephants was just his wife's
excuse for traveling around the country they loved.
The old woman did not
press the matter. "I knew a man once who sold mongooses,"
she said cheerfully. "Or is it 'mongeese'? He had been in
the exterminator business and--what does that driver think
he is doing?"
The big bus had been
rolling along easily despite the driving rain. Now it was
swerving, skidding. It lurched sickeningly--and crashed.
John Watts banged his
head against the seat in front. He was picking himself up,
dazed, not too sure where he was, when Mrs. Evans' thin, confident
soprano oriented him. ''Nothing to get excited about, folks.
I've been expecting this--and you can see it didn't hurt a
bit."
John Watts admitted that
he himself was unhurt. He peered near-sightedly around, then
fumbled on the sloping floor for his glasses. He found them,
broken. He shrugged and put them aside; once they arrived
he could dig a spare pair out of his bags.
"Now let's see what has
happened," Mrs. Evans went on. "Come along, young man." He
followed obediently.
The right wheel of the
bus leaned drunkenly against the curb of the approach to a
bridge. The driver was standing in the rain, dabbing at a
cut on his cheek. "I couldn't help it,'' he was saying. "A
dog ran across the road and I tried to avoid it."
"You might have killed
us!" a woman complained.
"Don't cry till you're
hurt," advised Mrs. Evans. "Now let's get back into the bus
while the driver phones for someone to pick us up."
John Watts hung back
to peer over the side of the canyon spanned by the bridge.
The ground dropped away steeply; almost under him were large,
mean-looking rocks. He shivered and got back into the bus.
The relief car came along
very promptly, or else he must have dozed. The latter, he
decided, for the rain had stopped and the sun was breaking
through the clouds. The relief driver thrust his head in the
door and shouted, "Come on, folks! Time's a-wastin'! Climb
out and climb in." Hurrying, John stumbled as he got aboard.
The new driver gave him a hand. "'Smatter, Pop? Get shaken
up?"
"I'm all right, thanks."
"Sure you are. Never
better."
He found a seat by Mrs.
Evans, who smiled and said, "Isn't it a heavenly day?"
He agreed. It was
a beautiful day, now that the storm had broken. Great fleecy
clouds tumbling up into warm blue sky, a smell of clean wet
pavement, drenched fields and green things growing--he lay
back and savored it. While he was soaking it up a great double
rainbow formed and blazed in the eastern sky. He looked at
them and made two wishes, one for himself and one for Martha.
The rainbows' colors seemed to be reflected in everything
be saw. Even the other passengers seemed younger, happier,
better dressed, now that the sun was out. He felt light-hearted,
almost free from his aching loneliness.
They were there in jig
time; the new driver more than made up the lost minutes. A
great arch stretched across the road: THE ALL-AMERICAN CELEBRATION
AND EXPOSITION OF ARTS and under it PEACE AND GOOD WILL TO
ALL. They drove through and sighed to a stop.
Mrs. Evans hopped up.
"Got a date--must run!" She trotted to the door, then called
back, "See you on the midway, young man," and disappeared
in the crowd.
John Watts got out last
and turned to speak to the driver. "Oh, uh, about my baggage.
I want to--"
The driver had started
his engine again. "Don't worry about your baggage," be called
out. "You'll be taken care of." The huge bus moved away.
"But--" John Watts stopped;
the bus was gone. All very well--but what was be to do without
his glasses?
But there were sounds
of carnival behind him, that decided him. After all, he thought,
tomorrow will do. If anything is too far away for me to see,
I can always walk closer. He joined the queue at the gate
and went in.
It was undeniably the
greatest show ever assembled for the wonderment of mankind.
It was twice as big as all outdoors, brighter than bright
lights, newer than new, stupendous, magnificent, breathtaking,
awe inspiring, supercolossal, incredible--and a lot of fun.
Every community in America had sent its own best to this amazing
show. The marvels of P. T. Barnum, of Ripley, and of all Tom
Edison's godsons had been gathered in one spot. From up and
down a broad continent the riches of a richly endowed land
and the products of a clever and industrious people had been
assembled, along with their folk festivals, their annual blowouts,
their celebrations, and their treasured carnival customs.
The result was as American as strawberry shortcake and as
gaudy as a Christmas tree, arid it all lay there before him,
noisy and full of life and crowded with happy, holiday people.
Johnny Watts took a deep
breath and plunged into it.
He started with the Fort
Worth Southwestern Exposition and Fat Stock Show and spent
in hour admiring gentle, white-faced steers, as wide and square
as flat-topped desks, scrubbed and curried, with their hair
parted neatly from skull to base of spine, then day-old little
black lambs on rubbery stalks of legs, too new to know themselves,
fat ewes, their broad backs, paddled flatter and flatter by
grave-eyed boys intent on blue ribbons. Next door he found
the Pomona Fair with solid matronly Percherons and dainty
Palominos from the Kellog Ranch.
And harness racing. Martha
and he had always loved harness racing. He picked out a likely
looking nag of the famous Dan Patch line, bet and won, then
moved on, as there was so much more to see. Other country
fairs were just beyond, apples from Yakima, the cherry festival
from Beaumont and Banning, Georgia's peaches. Somewhere off
beyond him a band was beating out, "Ioway, Ioway, that's where
the tall corn grows!"
Directly in front of
him was a pink cotton candy booth.
Martha had loved the
stuff. Whether at Madison Square Garden or at Imperial County's
fair grounds she had always headed first for the cotton candy
booth. "The big size, honey?" he muttered to himself. He felt
that if he were to look around he would see her nodding. "The
large size, please," he said to the vendor.
The carnie was elderly,
dressed in a frock coat and stiff shirt. He handled the pink
gossamer with dignified grace. "Certainly, sir, there is no
other size." He twirled the paper cornucopia and presented
it. Johnny banded him a half dollar. The man flexed and opened
his fingers; the coin disappeared. That appeared to end the
matter.
"The candy is fifty cents?"
Johnny asked diffidently. "Not at all, sir." The old showman
plucked the coin from Johnny's lapel and handed it back. "On
the house--I see you are with it. After all, what is money?"
"Why, thank you, but,
ah, I'm not really 'with it,' you know."
The old man shrugged.
"If you wish to go incognito, who am I to dispute you? But
your money is no good here."
"Uh, if you say so."
"You will see."
He felt something brush
against his leg. It was a dog of the same breed, or lack of
breed, as Bindlestiff had been. It looked amazingly like Bindlestiff.
The dog looked up and waggled its whole body.
"Why, hello, old fellow!"
He patted it-then his eyes blurred; it even felt like Bindlestiff.
"Are you lost, boy? Well, so am I. Maybe we had better stick
together, eh? Are you hungry?"
The dog licked his hand.
He turned to the cotton candy man. "Where can I buy hot dogs?"
"Just across the way,
sir."
He thanked him, whistled
to the dog, and hurried across. "A half dozen hot dogs, please."
"Coming up! Just mustard,
or everything on?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I want
them raw, they are for a dog."
"I getcha. Just a sec."
Presently he was handed
six wienies, wrapped in paper. "How much are they?"
"Compliments of the house."
"I beg pardon?"
"Every dog has his day.
This is his."
"Oh. Well, thank you."
He became aware of increased noise and excitement behind him
and looked around to see the first of the floats of the Priests
of Pallas, from Kansas City, coming down the street. His friend
the dog saw it, too, and began to bark.
"Quiet, old fellow."
He started to unwrap the meat. Someone whistled across the
way; the dog darted between the floats and was gone. Johnny
tried to follow, but was told to wait until the parade had
passed. Between floats be caught glimpses of the dog, leaping
up on a lady across the way. What with the dazzling lights
of the floats and his own lack of glasses he could not see
her clearly, but it was plain that the dog knew her; he was
greeting her with the all-out enthusiasm only a dog can achieve.
He held up the package
and tried to shout to her; she waved back, but the band music
and the noise of the crowd made it impossible to hear each
other. He decided to enjoy the parade, then cross and find
the pooch and its mistress as soon as the last float had passed.
It seemed to him the
finest Priests of Pallas parade be had ever seen. Come to
think about it, there hadn't been a Priests of Pallas parade
in a good many years. Must have revived it just for this.
That was like Kansas
City--a grand town. He didn't know of any he liked as well.
Possibly Seattle. And New Orleans, of course.
And Duluth--Duluth was
swell. And so was Memphis. He would like to own a bus someday
that ran from Memphis to Saint Joe, from Natchez to Mobile,
wherever the wide winds blow.
Mobile--there was a town.
The parade was past now,
with a swarm of small boys tagging after it. He hurried across.
The lady was not there,
neither she, nor the dog. He looked quite thoroughly. No dog.
No lady with a dog.
He wandered off, his
eyes alert for marvels, but his thoughts on the dog. It really
had been a great deal like Bindlestiff . . .and he wanted
to know the lady it belonged to--anyone who could love that
sort of a dog must be a pretty good sort herself. Perhaps
he could buy her ice cream, or persuade her to go the midway
with him. Martha would approve he was sure. Martha would know
be wasn't up to anything.
Anyhow, no one ever took
a little fat man seriously.
But there was too much
going on to worry about it. He found himself at St. Paul's
Winter Carnival, marvelously constructed in summer weather
through the combined efforts of York and Amencan. For fifty
years it had been held in January, yet here it was, rubbing
shoulders with the Pendleton Round-Up, the Fresno Raisin Festival,
and Colonial Week in Annapolis. He got in at the tail end
of the ice show, but in time for one of his favorite acts,
the Old Smoothies, out of retirement for the occasion and
gliding as perfectly as ever to the strains of Shine On,
Harvest Moon.
His eyes blurred again
and it was not his lack of glasses.
Coming out he passed
a large sign: SADIE HAWKINS DAY--STARTING POINT FOR BACHELORS.
He was tempted to take part; perhaps the lady with the dog
might be among the spinsters. But he was a little tired by
now; just ahead there was an outdoor carnival of the pony-ride-and-ferris-wheel
sort; a moment later he was on the merry-go-round and was
climbing gratefully into one of those swan gondolas so favored
by parents. He found a young man already seated there, reading
a book.
"Oh, excuse me," said
Johnny. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all," the young
man answered and put his book down. "Perhaps you are the man
I'm looking for."
"You are looking for
someone?"
"Yes. You see, I'm a
detective. I've always wanted to be one and now I am."
"Indeed?"
"Quite. Everyone rides
the merry-go-round eventually, so it saves trouble to wait
here. Of course, I hang around Hollywood and Vine, or Times
Square, or Canal Street, but here I can sit and read."
"How can you read while
watching for someone?"
"Ah, I know what is in
the book--" He held it up; it was The Hunting of the Snark.
"-so that leaves my eyes free for watching."
Johnny began to like
this young man. "Are there boojums about?"
"No, for we haven't softly
and silently vanished away. But would we notice it if we did?
I must think it over. Are you a detective, too?"
"No, I--uh, I travel
in elephants."
"A fine profession. But
not much for you here, We have giraffes--" He raised his voice
above the music of the calliope and let his eyes rove around
the carousel. "--camels, two zebras, plenty of horses, but
no elephants. Be sure to see the Big Parade; there will be
elephants."
"Oh, I wouldn't miss
it!"
"You musn't. It will
be the most amazing parade in all time, so long that it will
never pass a given point and every mile choked with wonders
more stupendous than the last. You're sure you're not the
man I'm looking for?"
"I don't think so. But
see here--how would you go about finding a lady with a dog
in this crowd?"
"Well, if she comes here,
I'll let you know. Better go down on Canal Street. Yes, I
think if I were a lady with a dog I'd be down on Canal Street.
Women love to mask; it means they can unmask."
Johnny stood up. "How
do I get to Canal Street?"
"Straight through Central
City past the opera house, then turn right at the Rose Bowl.
Be careful then, for you pass through the Nebraska section
with Ak-Sar-Ben in full sway. Anything could happen. After
that, Calaveras County--Mind the frogs!--then Canal Street."
"Thank you so much."
He followed the directions, keeping an eye out for the lady
with a dog. Nevertheless he stared with wonder at the things
he saw as he headed through the gay crowds. He did see a dog,
but it was a seeing-eye dog--and that was a great wonder,
too, for the live clear eyes of the dog's master could and
did see anything that was going on around him, yet the man
and the dog traveled together with the man letting the dog
direct their way, as it no other way of travel were conceivable,
or desired, by either one.
He found himself in Canal
Street presently and the illusion was so complete that it
was hard to believe that he had not been transported to New
Orleans. Carnival was at height; it was Fat Tuesday here;
the crowds were masked. He got a mask from a street vendor
and went on.
The hunt seemed hopeless.
The street was choked by merry-makers watching the parade
of the Krewe of Venus. It was hard to breathe, much harder
to move and search. He eased into Bourbon Street--the entire
French Quarter had been reproduced--when he saw the dog.
He was sure it was the
dog. It was wearing a clown suit and a little peaked hat,
but it looked like his dog. He corrected himself; it looked
like Bindlestiff.
And it accepted one of
the frankfurters gratefully. "Where is she, old fellow?" The
dog woofed once, then darted away into the crowd. He tried
to follow, but could not; he required more clearance. But
he was not downhearted; he had found the dog once, he would
find him again. Besides, it had been at a masked ball that
he had first met Martha, she a graceful Pierrette, he a fat
Pierrot. They had watched the dawn come up after the ball
and before the sun had set again they had agreed to marry.
He watched the crowd
for Pierrettes, sure somehow that the dog's mistress would
costume so.
Everything about this
fair made him think even more about Martha, if that were possible.
How she had traveled his territory with him, how it had been
their habit to start out, anywhere, whenever a vacation came
along. Chuck the Duncan Hines guide and some bags in the car
and be off. Martha . . . sitting beside him with the open
highway a broad ribbon before them . . . singing their road
song America the Beautiful and keeping him on key:
"-- thine alabaster cities gleam, undimmed by human tears-"
Once she had said to
him, while they were bowling along through--where was it?
The Black Hills? The Ozarks? The Poconos? No matter. She had
said, "Johnny, you'll never be President and I'll never be
First Lady, but I'll bet we know more about the United States
than any President ever has. Those busy, useful people never
have time to see it, not really."
"It's a wonderful country,
darling."
"It is, it is indeed.
I could spend all eternity just traveling around in it--traveling
in elephants, Johnny, with you."
He had reached over and
patted her knee; he remembered how it felt.
The revelers in the mock
French Quarter were thinning out; they had drifted away while
he daydreamed. He stopped a red devil. "Where is everyone
going?"
"To the parade, of course."
"The Big Parade?"
"Yes, it's forming
now." The red devil moved on, he followed.
His own sleeve was plucked.
"Did you find her?" It was Mrs. Evans, slightly disguised
by a black domino and clinging to the arm of a tall and elderly
Uncle Sam.
"Eh? Why, hello, Mrs.
Evans! What do you mean?"
"Don't be silly. Did
you find her?"
"How did you know I was
looking for anyone?"
"Of course you were.
Well, keep looking. We must go now." They trailed after the
mob.
The Big Parade was already
passing by the time he reached its route. It did not matter,
there was endlessly more to come. The Holly, Colorado, Boosters
were passing; they were followed by the prize Shriner drill
team. Then came the Veiled Prophet of Khorassan and his Queen
of Love and Beauty, up from their cave in the bottom of the
Mississippi . . . the Anniversary Day Parade from Brooklyn,
with the school children carrying little American flags .
. . the Rose Parade from Pasadena, miles of flowered-covered
floats . . . the Indian Powwow from Flagstaff, twenty-two
nations represented and no buck in the march wearing less
than a thousand dollars' worth of hand-wrought jewelry. After
the indigenous Americans rode Buffalo Bill, goatee jutting
out and hat in hand, locks flowing in the breeze. Then was
the delegation from Hawaii with King Kamehamela himself playing
Alii, Lord of Carnival, with royal abandon, while his subjects
in dew-fresh leis pranced behind him, giving aloha to all.
There was no end. Square
dancers from Ojai and from upstate New York, dames and gentlemen
from Annapolis, the Cuero, Texas, Turkey Trot, all the Krewes
and marching clubs of old New Orleans, double flambeaux blazing,
nobles throwing favors to the crowd--the King of Zulus and
his smooth brown court, singing: "Everybody who was anybody
doubted it--"
And the Mummers came,
"taking a suit up the street" to Oh Demi Golden Slippers.
Here was something older than the country celebrating it,
the shuffling jig of the masquers, a step that was young when
mankind was young and first celebrating the birth of spring.
First the fancy clubs, whose captains wore capes worth a king's
ransom--or a mortgage on a row house with fifty pages to bear
them. Then the Liberty Clowns and the other comics and lastly
the ghostly, sweet string bands whose strains bring tears.
Johnny thought back to
'44 when he had first seen them march, old men and young boys,
because the proper "shooters" were away to war. And of something
that should not be on Broad Street in Philadelphia on the
first day of January, men riding in the parade because, merciful
Heaven forgive us, they could not walk.
He looked and saw that
there were indeed automobiles in the line of march--wounded
of the last war, and one G.A.R., hat square, bands folded
over the head of his cane. Johnny held his breath and waited.
When each automobile approached the judges' stand, it stopped
short of it, and everyone got out. Somehow, with each other's
help, they hobbled or crawled past the judging line, under
their own power--and each club's pride was kept intact.
There followed another
wonder--they did not get back into the automobiles, but marched
up Broad Street.
Then it was Hollywood
Boulevard, disguised as Santa Claus Lane, in a production
more stupendous than movieland had ever attempted before.
There were baby stars galore and presents and favors and candy
for all the children and all the grown-up children, too. When,
at last, Santa Claus's own float arrived, it was almost too
large to be seen, a veritable iceberg, almost the North Pole
itself, with John Barrymore and Mickey Mouse riding one on
each side of Saint Nicholas.
On the tail end of the
great, icy float was a pathetic little figure. Johnny squinted
and recognized Mr. Emmett Kelly, dean of all clowns, in his
role as Weary Willie. Willie was not merry--oh, no, he was
shivering.
Johnny did not know whether to laugh or to cry. Mr. Kelly
had always affected him that way.
And the elephants came.
Big elephants, little
elephants, middle-sized elephants, from pint-sized Wrinkles
to mighty Jumbo . . . and with them the bull men, Chester
Conklin, P. T. Barnum, Wallie Beery, Mowgli. "This," Johnny
said to himself, "must be Mulberry Street."
There was a commotion
on the other side of the column; one of the men was shooing
something away. Then Johnny saw what it was--the dog. He whistled;
the animal seemed confused, then it spotted him, scampered
up, and jumped into Johnny's arms. "You stay with me," Johnny
told him. "You might have gotten stepped on."
The dog licked his face.
He had lost his clown suit, but the little peaked cap hung
down under his neck. "What have you been up to?" asked Johnny.
"And where is your mistress?"
The last of the elephants
were approaching, three abreast, pulling a great carriage.
A bugle sounded up front and the procession stopped. "Why
are they stopping?" Johnny asked a neighbor.
"Wait a moment. You'll
see."
The Grand Marshal of
the march came trotting back down the line. He rode a black
stallion and was himself brave in villain's boots, white pegged
breeches, cutaway, and top hat. He glanced all around.
He stopped immediately
in front of Johnny. Johnny held the dog more closely to him.
The Grand Marshal dismounted and bowed. Johnny looked around
to see who was behind him. The Marshal removed his tall silk
hat and caught Johnny's eye. "You, sir, are the Man Who Travels
in Elephants?" It was more a statement than a question.
"Uh? Yes."
"Greetings, Rex! Serene
Majesty, your Queen and your court await you." The man turned
slightly, as if to lead the way.
Johnny gulped and gathered
Bindlestiff under one arm. The Marshal led him to the elephant-drawn
carriage. The dog slipped out of his arms and bounded up into
the carriage and into the lap of the lady. She patted it and
looked proudly, happily, down at Johnny Watts. "Hello, Johnny!
Welcome home, darling!"
"Martha!" he sobbed--and
Rex stumbled and climbed into his carriage to embrace his
queen.
The sweet voice of a
bugle sounded up ahead, the parade started up again, wending
its endless way--
.