"Himes, Chester - If He Hollers Let Him Go" - читать интересную книгу автора (Himes Chester)

'One to say, "Here he come!" The other to say, "Where he at?" The third to say, "I didn't seen him!"' Arkansas didn't crack a smile.
'That reminds me of the coloured fellow what went down to the river--' Smitty began.
'Now how that remind you of a man going to the river?' Arkansas wanted to know.
'Anyway,' Smitty went op, 'this coloured fellow was sitting down by the bank of the river when an alligator came up out of the water. The coloured fellow watched the alligator for a while, then he started laughing. "Look at that old funny alligator," he said. The alligator rolled his eyes at the coloured fellow and ast, "What so funny 'bout me? I'se just an alligator." The coloured fellow jumped up and looked all about, looked in the bushes and up and down the bank, then he look back at the alligator. "Did you say somp'n?" he ast. "I say what's so funny 'bout me?" the alligator said. The coloured fellow's eyes popped near most out his head. "Kin you talk, or is I just hearing things?" he ast the alligator; and the alligator rolled his eyes and said, "Sure, I kin talk. All us alligators kin talk. The difference between us and you coloured folks, you coloured folks talk too much."
'Well, the coloured fellow lit out running and didn't stop till he come to the field where a white man was ploughing, and he said, "Mistah Jones, Mistah Jones, I just hear an alligator talk." Mistah Jones said, "Go on, boy, you know can't no alligator talk." The coloured fellow said, "I swear I heard him talk. Just lak a natural man. Come on down to the river, Mistah Jones, I'll show you." Mistah Jones say, "I ain't got no time for no foolishness; I got to git dis corn ploughed." But the coloured fellow said, "I swear I heard him talk. I laughed at him and say, 'Look at dat old funny alligator,' and he say, 'What's so funny 'bout me?'" So Mistah Jones say, "All right, boy, I'll come 'long and see. But I swear if that alligator don't talk I'se gonna beat the stuffings outa you." The coloured fellow said, "Oh, he gonna talk."
'Well, they come down to the river bank and the old alligator was laying out in the sun; and the coldured fellow said, "Hey, alligator, show this man you kin talk." The old alligator just rolled his eyes at the coloured fellow. The white man looked at the coloured fellow and the coloured fellow said, "Now come on, Mistah Alligator, and talk. You was talking up a breeze a while ago." But the alligator don't say nothing. Ain't nothing the coloured fellow can do to make him say nothing. So the white fellow got tired of standing there and jumped on the coloured fellow like he said and beat the stuffings out of him. Well, the coloured fellow sat down beside the alligator, his head knotty as fat pine; man, his head knottier than the alligator's. "Why didn't you talk?" he ast the alligator. "I told that man you could talk and you made him beat the stuffings outa me." The alligator rolled his eyes at the coloured fellow and said, "That just what I says, you colpured folks talk too much."
Willie and Arkansas rolled on the floor. 'Dat was some alligator,' Arkansas said.
I caught Ben's eye and grinned at him. Ben made twirling motions with his index finger at the side of his head, and I laughed.
Nobody could top that one, and they were silent for a moment. Tebbel took advantage of the pause to tell his. 'Old Aunty was out in the back yard washing.' All of us gave him a startled look. 'And she said--'
'You mean old Aunty Loo?' Pigmeat cut him off.
'It don't make any difference what her name was,' Tebbel tried again; but Pigmeat cut him off again, 'Or do you mean old Aunty Coo?'
Tebbel began getting red. 'Just old Aunty,' he snarled. 'Old Aunty was out in the back yard--'
Conway picked up a duct and banged it on the deck. 'We done told enough jokes, now let's get to work,' he said.
I had to laugh. I felt better than I'd felt all morning.
'We all know that one about old Aunty,' Johnson said.
'You know that one, don't you, Johnson?' I winked.
'Everybody knows tifat one, boy,' Pigmeat said to Tebbel. 'You go think up another one and then come back.'
'What I wanna know now is whether to make a butt joint here or a lap joint,' Conway said, turning over the duct.
'Tebbel will tell you all about it,' I said. 'Tebbel's gonna be your boss next week.'
Tebbel looked dubious. 'What does the print say?'
'If I had the print I wouldn't be asking you,' Conway said.
'Better get the print to be sure,' Tebbel said, and walked out.
'I done run him,' Conway grinned.
'It's a lap joint,' I said.
'I know,' he said. 'I was just trying to stop him from telling that dirty joke to keep from having to knock out his teeth.'
The three girls came in and Peaches asked, 'Are you all through telling dirty jokes?'
I laughed. 'Tebbel broke it up.'
'What did he tell?' Bessie wanted to know. 'Something dirty about some coloured people, I know.'
'They ganged up on him and wouldn't let him tell it, so he left,' I told her.
'That's good,' Peaches said. 'Don't let him get started on that stuff.'
I winked at Peaches. 'Think I'll go out and give my white woman a break,' I said.
'You ain't no trouble,' she said slyly. 'You done found that out.'
But it didn't even ruffle me. 'Wanna bet?' I teased.
'Who gonna be the judge?'
'I'll let you judge. If you holler more than once--'
'What I've got will kill a little boy like you dead,' she cut me off, and then if she had been light enough she would have turned fiery red:
'All right, let our helpers alone,' George said. 'We'll take care of everything that needs taking care of. You go on and give your white woman a break.'
Kelly had popped his head in just in time to hear the last of it. He gave a startled look and beat it without saying a word.
Pigmeat laughed. 'Did you chalk the walker?'
I glanced at my watch. It was nine-fifteen. We had clowned up more than an hour. But they had got it off their chests; almost all of them had started back to work. I felt better about it too. Now I could go up and talk to the union steward without blowing my top.
Then all of a sudden Conway snapped his fingers. 'We done plumb forgot all about Bob--' he began, but I cut him off, 'No, no, we're not gonna do that any more. You guys go on and do your work. I'll take care of everything.'
'Well, we behind you, chief,' Smitty said.
'Way behind you,' Pignieat said.
I gave them the okay sign, hitched up my pants and started out. Ben stopped me. 'Some folks, ain't they?' he said, shaking his head.
'Remember what the monkey said when young Mose ran over him and cut off his tail?' I asked.
'My people, my people,' we chorused, grinning at each other.


CHAPTER XIII